Ugly Betty s01e02 Episode Script
The Box and the Bunny
Previously on Ugly Betty Oh, my god.
That nepotistic son of a bitch gives my job to his His son.
Who do you work for? I'm your new assistant.
He made Daniel hire you 'cause he didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistants anymore.
I'm in love with someone else.
Gina Gambarro? You broke my plasma! I'm very unhappy.
It's a setback.
But it's just a matter of time.
Once he's out of the picture, the company will be ours for the taking.
Great bunny.
Oh, thank you.
My sister gave that to me when I graduated from Queens College.
One of america's best value colleges.
Yep, yep, that's the one.
It's sort of a good-luck charm, seeing as I am doing what I've always wanted to- magazine publishing.
Well, kudos, and I certainly applaud your efforts at personalizing your desk.
So different.
So you.
Marc! I have to go.
Oh, it was an amazing night for me, too.
Listen, I gotta get back to work.
I will call you very, very soon, okay? All right.
No idea who that was.
Good morning, Daniel.
Can I get you some coffee? Actually, I was wondering if you had a chance to look at "page six" today.
No.
"Daniel Meade's assistant confirms he was wearing a Dior suit, Gucci tie and Maggini shoes.
" Yeah, that's what you wore.
Isn't it? The Magginis are a problem.
But you said that they're the most comfortable shoes you own.
No, no, they are.
Unfortunately there's a whole sweatshop thing with them- cambodian kids, forced labor, I don't know.
Point is, it's best if people don't know I wear their shoes.
Okay.
Listen, Betty.
The press, people in this business- they have a way of taking the truth, twisting it around.
We always got to protect ourselves, twist it around ourselves if we need to.
I got it.
Oh, hey.
I got that Natalie Whitman meeting in a few minutes.
Wow, she's my favorite.
I love those Jenna Fletcher movies, and her catchphrase, "you do the math.
" You know she gains 30 pounds every single time she does that role? Yeah, and apparently she hasn't lost any of it.
Do you want in on that meeting? Me? Um, wow! Yes.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Thank you, Daniel.
Remember, you and me, we're a team.
And I will take that coffee now.
Black, extra sugar.
Thanks.
Has Wilhelmina Slater, "Mode" creative director, got over her humiliation of being passed over for the boss' son? That's the question on everyone's lips after the recent regime change when Daniel Meade, slutty scion of parent company, Meade Publications, was named new editor in chief.
Daniel took over after the hot, hot death of former editor Fey Sommers in a fiery car crash.
The world is still in mourning after the fur-loving fashion martyr lost control of her vehicle after being chased by angry animal rights activists.
You wanted to see me? Just checking in.
Yeah, no.
Everything's going terrific.
First issue goes to press tomorrow.
Natalie Whitman, the star of the Jenna Fletcher movies, is our featured layout.
"You do the math.
" Yeah, that's right.
Good.
Daniel, I don't need to remind you of the importance of succeeding here.
"Mode" is a stepping stone for you, but a significant one.
You do well, eventually you'll end up sitting where I am, running the company.
Have you been getting the book? The book.
What book are you referring to, exactly? "Editor in chief for dummies.
" The book, Daniel.
The book.
The mock-up of the entire magazine.
Each department submits their section throughout the day.
Photo, style, advertising- all of "mode's" secrets.
The person in charge of the magazine takes it home overnight and gives their notes.
The person who controls the book controls the magazine.
Thank you, Edgar.
You're very welcome, miss Slater.
Which is why, if you're ever going to succeed here, and hopefully be sitting where I am someday, you have to control it.
The book is your responsibility.
And right here we're going to smooth out all of the chin fat.
Good, good.
Tighten that punem.
Lean out the arm flab.
Downsize these hips about 15%.
At least.
And this area right over here.
My breasts? Lift them up a notch.
Sag begone.
It's gonna be great.
You are going to look amazing.
Okay, I didn't think the pictures looked too bad.
I thought that I looked- I don't know.
- Normal? - Yes.
Natalie, you're absolutely right.
You look normal- wonderfully so.
And if this were any other magazine, that would be fine.
But this is "Mode.
" And we are not about normal.
We are about aspirational.
So why not, with the help of modern technology, give yourself the opportunity to look as stunning as you possibly could? Hmm.
Y ou.
- Me? - Yeah.
What do you think? Oh, well, I think you look gr- Natalie, as editor in chief, I say, why not take something that's hot and make it super hot? It's a tres good career move, and remember, we're still trying to land you "2 million dollar baby.
" Okay.
I guess you guys are the experts.
I'll let you do your magic.
Okay, it's gonna be fabulous.
Listen, the features people want to finish your interview Print out the finished version, put it in the book.
And by the way, why have I yet to see any sort of concept on that Beyonce pyromia spread we talked about? Oh, I'll get right to it.
I'd love to see that as well.
Yeah, sure.
Wilhelmina, do you have a minute? For you, Daniel, I have two.
I'm editor in chief.
I should be receiving the book at the end of each day.
Well, with all your responsibility, do you really think you have the time? Take my advice.
Focus on the big picture.
Don't be afraid to delegate.
That's what I'm here for.
Wilhelmina, certain things fall under my purview.
The book is one of them.
So from now on, I'm going to start reiving the book every night.
As you wish.
That was strong in there.
Very editorial.
Well, the book is my responsibility.
It's way too important.
You know that scene in the movies when the guy is on the plane, and he's handcuffed to the briefcase? You want to handcuff yourself to the book? No, it's-it's a metaphor.
By the way, the next time you find yourself on the spot like you did in there with Natalie, you just gotta kinda go with the vibe in the room.
Even if I don't agree? If it's the best thing for the magazine, definitely.
You know what? I left my P.
D.
A.
in the conference room.
Can you grab that for me? Sure.
Has anyone seen my bunny? It's, um, pink green tummy, graduation cap.
No? How dare he embarrass me like that in front of everyone? The tall jar of mayonnaise is clearly making a power play.
Well, if that's what he wants What are you thinking? We give him the book.
Leave the unretouched Natalie Whitman photos in there, he signs off, it goes to print, enraged publicists, celebrities canceling their layouts.
"Mode" in chaos, and you'll be the only guiding light left to lead the magazine out.
Uber clever.
Thank you.
Ooh, Marc, at that arch.
Ah.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, those look damn good.
Hook me up, girl.
- Ooh.
- I'm a vegan.
Carnivore here, through and through.
So tell me, what exactly were they retouching on Ms.
"You do the math"? Everything.
I never even realized how much they do to these people.
The chin, the butt, the hips, the teeth- Oh, you don't even know.
They ever got their hands on me, I'd look like a pre-crack Whitney.
And I never even got to tell her what I really thought, which was that she looked great the way she was.
That's the business we're working in.
Perfection sells fashion.
It's all fake and unattainable, but nobody seems to get it.
I get it.
Really? Would you buy a magazine if I was on the cover? Yeah.
"National Geographic.
" I would buy any magazine that you were on the cover of, Christina.
Are you trying to suffocate us with that putrid smell? Oh, they're empanadas.
They're disgusting.
Oh, my god.
There is nothing here except non-caloric space food.
And I am starving.
Can I have one of those, please? Yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Oh, wow.
You know, I might as well eat the whole thing, because they're gonna make me look like Nicole Richie anyway.
So what do you guys think of the latest Jenna Fletcher movie? And you can be honest, 'cause I'm not one of those actresses with some huge ego.
Oh, it was really good.
I enjoyed it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
So how do you guys put up with working here Funny thing, being on the other side, everyone believing you've perished.
We have to assume Bradford was behind this "fiery car crash," but where do we get the evidence? We have to find a way to get it out of him.
Then he goes to jail and we take over the company.
Simultaneously, we need to get Daniel out of "Mode.
" We can't have him waiting in the wings to take over.
Hopefully I'm making strides in that direction.
So the question is, how do we get to Bradford? Well, I can't confront him directly.
He'll just fire me.
Then we use Daniel.
I didn't know you spoke german.
I don't.
I just own the newspaper.
I found something you should be aware of.
Estate sale for Fey Sommers.
I can never just be rid of this woman.
Who knew you hated Fey Sommers that much? Who said I hated her? Anyway, I was thinking I'd break into the place today, go through, see if there's anything incriminating.
I'll do it.
I have a key.
Besides, you don't know what's really incriminating.
What's wrong, pumpkin? Nothing.
Oh, wow.
The book.
I'll give it to him.
No, no.
This is too important.
I'll give it to him directly.
Here you go.
Wilhelmina's notes are already inside.
She said pay close attention to the Fanny Pack article.
She's not sure we're hitting the emotional arc just yet.
- Thank you.
- Toodles.
So Wilhelmina's office gave me two tickets to Pagliacci at the Met.
It's boring as all hell, but there is a little alcove on the second floor where we can do all sorts of naughty things and never get caught.
This can wait till the morning.
See you tomorrow, Betty.
Do you need me to do anything else? Oh, just keep working.
A little overtime, and you can afford invisaligns.
Hi, this is Daniel.
Leave a message.
Hey, uh, Daniel, it's me.
I'm in your office, and I saw that you left the book out.
Um, I don't know if I should just leave it here um, or not.
Um I mean, I guess I'll just take the book home for safekeeping, and I'll bring it back tomorrow morning.
Okay, um bye.
I mean, she was so nice.
She sat there and talked to us, like, forever.
What was her name again? Natalie Whitman.
Never heard of her.
Hello! From the Jenna Fletcher movies.
"You do the math.
" Well, dad, she did have some of your empanadas, and she said they were great.
Really? Bueno, the woman has good taste.
Here.
What's that? It's the mock-up for the next issue of "Mode.
" - Oh, my god.
- Hey, be careful! You have the book? Wait, Justin, how do you even know what the book is? I saw "Prada" like, seven times.
So how did you get it? Well, my boss was rushing out of the office and he forgot it, and I didn't want to just leave it there, so Hey, look, your name on the masthead.
Really? Well, sort of.
They spelled it "Betsy" Suarez.
Oh.
Ay, what a day.
No matter how many times I explain it, no one has a freakin' clue what an antioxidant is.
Look what I found at the door.
Wow, 9-volt batteries.
Prince charming's really going the extra mile.
Ay, mama, you gotta be a little bit more forgiving, okay? Walter cares for you.
Well, he should've thought about that before he left me for Gina Gambarro.
Listen to me.
That poor thing- he didn't stand a chance.
That girl is predatory.
Is that why they call her "Gina Hyena"? Exactly.
What's this? It's a mock-up of the magazine where Betty works.
It's all nice, but what's the problem with having some latinas somewhere in here, huh? You gotta give these things a little flava, you know? - I'll get some dulce de leche- - Ew! Natalie Whitman is still fat.
Oh, wow.
Daniel didn't swap out the unretouched photos.
He's gonna put her in as she really is.
That's awful.
Justin! That's great.
Oh, I bet you that's Walter.
Ay, Betty, be nice.
Where the hell's my $4,000? What are you talking about? Uh, you broke my flat screen.
Gina, I did not break your- Listen, you barged into my house like a little mexican banshee and slammed my door.
Thing smashed right on the floor 'cause of you.
Well, maybe if you stayed away from what wasn't yours Oh, are you still hung up over that? Look, I want my money or a comparably priced 50-inch plasma installed.
Bitch, out my house.
- Oh, no, you did not just call me a - Oh, yes, I did! Please be careful with the book.
Gina, leave.
Fine.
Have it your way.
But remember, Betty, I'm a bad seed.
I did a year in juvie.
Ooh, I'm gonna whup that girl's ass.
Did I miss something on the telenovela? See? This is why I don't want us to have a dog.
Have you guys seen the book? - What book? - The book, dad.
The "Mode" book.
I came downstairs and it was gone.
- You lost it? - No, I didn't lose it! It's just in a place that I don't know about! It's gotta be here somewhere.
If I show up at work without that book, the entire layout for the magazine- Daniel's first issue- is gone, and it goes to print tonight.
Come on, people lose things.
Stuff is backed up by computers.
It can't be that big a deal.
- What is going on? - She lost the book.
- I'll go check the living room.
- I'll make you some eggs.
Dad, what is food gonna do for me right now? It's a crisis.
I cook.
Betty! It was slid under the door.
"I have your precious book.
Maybe if I had a new flat screen TV, I'd have something better to do with my nights than break into people's homes.
" Gina! Justin, put your headphones on.
That bitch! Oh, my god! If that showerhead could pay my bills, I would marry it.
- Hey, uh, Daniel, it's me - We're gonna be late.
Not that late.
Do you like it when I bite your ear? - Damn it.
- Oh, I guess not.
- I gotta call Betty.
- Okay, buzz kill.
She took the book home to her house last night.
To Queens? Ew! Hello? Yeah, this is Daniel Meade for Betty.
I have to tell him what happened.
Justin, headphones.
You do not tell this man the truth.
You lie.
We will get that book back.
I promise you.
Hi, Daniel.
I just got your message.
You took the book home? Yeah, um, I didn't know where to leave it.
Betty, you're an assistant.
You never, ever take that book out of the office.
What, did she need it to fix the wobbly leg under her coffee table? Listen, nothing spilled on it, right? There's no-no rips, tears, anything? No, no, no, unh-unh.
No, nothing like that.
Fire her.
Fire her right now.
I would be such a better assistant.
Why don't you go get dressed? Okay, but I'm telling you, you're gonna get it back, and there's gonna be chimichurr-o sauce all over it.
Listen, uh, Betty, I know it was an honest mistake.
You have it.
It's safe.
That- so that's all that's important.
Yeah, um it's totally safe.
Um I'm looking at the layout of Natalie Whitman right now.
Um, and by the way, I think it's very brave and impressive that you used the original photos.
What original photos? You know, the-the unretouched pictures of Natalie.
I never approved that.
Wait, are there unretouched photos in that book? - Yeah, I thought you had approved them.
- This isn't happening.
Look, if those- if those photos ever got out, it would be disastrous, Betty.
Okay, Betty, do not let that book out of your sight.
I'm sending a car over to pick you up right now.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm holding it.
Bye.
I am in big trouble.
What?! Hilda just told me that Gina Gambarro stole your book.
Give me the phone.
I'm calling her parents.
Dad, I'm not 6.
She's right.
I'll handle this.
I'm gonna show that skank a whole new use for her curling iron.
Hilda, don't.
I don't need you guys to fight my battles.
I can handle this.
I'm an adult.
Please! Gina, please! Look, I have something you want, and you have something I want.
Give me my 4 grand so I can get a new TV, and you get your book back.
I don't have $4,000.
Then I probably won't take a check.
Gina, this is my job.
You cannot do this to me.
Oh, look at that.
I accidentally tore a page.
No, no, no, no, don't.
You don't do that.
Don't do that, Gina.
Maybe you learned a little lesson here.
No one screws with Gina Gambarro.
Then maybe you've learned a little lesson.
Gina Gambarro should always latch her back door.
Get out of my house.
I will call the police so fast.
This is trespassing.
Oh, what do you call breaking into our house last night? Look, she replaces my TV, and she gets her stupid book back.
Okay, I am only gonna ask you one time.
Where is it? I don't seem to remember.
Well, maybe pulling that weave out of your head will jog your memory! It's right here! Hilda, just stop.
Stop.
The car's here.
It's no use.
Look, I just-I need to go to the office and deal with this.
You are paying for this.
Well, I guess we owe you $4,000 and fifty cents.
Hold the elevator.
Hold it! That was close.
You get a chance to look over the book yet? You know, we really can't proceed until you sign off, and we do go to press by 6:00 tonight.
I was, uh, just getting my notes together.
I'll be ready for our meeting at 10:00.
What did you think overall? Looks pretty good except for the unretouched photos of Natalie Whitman.
Unretouched photos? Yes, somehow they made it into the mock-up.
Lucky I caught that, huh? Could have been a big one.
Actually surprised you missed it.
- Well, I- - Don't sweat it.
You're probably just reaching that age where you have to start worrying about glasses.
Happens to everyone.
Love, you're gonna have to slow down.
I can't understand what you're saying.
Now what exactly is a Gina Gambarro? My neighbor.
She's the one who has the book, and she's holding it ransom.
The book? The book with the unretouched photographs of Natalie? - Oh, dear.
- This is bad, isn't it? Uh, well, I wouldn't count on "employee of the month.
" Oh, my god! What? Christina, everything up until this point has been a big lie.
I didn't get the job because I was qualified.
I got the job because Bradford Meade didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistant.
And you have more than proven yourself.
It doesn't matter.
I keep getting told that I have to twist the truth to fit in, and maybe I just don't belong at "Mode," and my bunny is paying the price for it.
Your bunny? Listen, sweetheart, there's an awful lot of information coming out of your mouth right now, and to be honest, I can't really make any sense of it.
Look, I just need to come clean to Daniel, tell him the truth.
Well, the truth might get you fired.
Well, I need to do it.
Bye, Christina.
There's hardly any traffic on the bridge, miss.
We should be there in no time.
Great.
This must be my lucky day.
This must be my lucky day.
Vampira told me to let you know they're still waiting on your notes from the book.
Uh, uh, just tell them I'm-I'm still going over it.
I, uh, I ran out of post-its, okay? Yeah.
Oh, and, uh, call Betty again.
Find out where the hell she- Okay! I'm no seeing the book in your hands.
Why is that? Because Gina Gambarro has it.
Gambarro? Gambarro.
Is that a-a new designer? No, it's an old slut.
She broke into my house, and she took it, and now she's holding it ransom- What? W-w-wait.
You told me you had the book.
- You said you were looking at it.
- Yeah, I lied or I twisted the truth to try to buy some time and fix it.
Betty, you don't lie to me, ever.
We're on the same team.
I mean, we cannot afford to have those unretouched Natalie proofs out there in any way, shape or form, and I-I cannot tell you how royally screwed she and this entire magazine could be.
Because there's pictures of what she actually looks like? Exactly.
How much does this Gina want? $4,000.
Daniel, I-I will pay you back with interest, or you can take it out of my check for the next five years.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, stop, uh we're gonna deal with this later.
Get my checkbook out of my top drawer and meet me downstairs.
We're going to Queens.
Daniel, they're all waiting for you.
Oh, right.
Well, it looks like our 10:00 meeting is finally beginning.
We're all very excited to hear your thoughts on the book, Daniel.
Where is the book, anyway? Oh, uh, it's back there in my office.
I see it.
Well, don't you need it to go through your notes with us? Uh, actually, I just came in to tell you all I- I think you did a great job on this issue, and I don't really have any notes, so Well, I do.
You mind if I get it back so I can go through mine? You want the book back.
If it's not a problem.
Actually, um, I might want to take one more look at it, just to make sure everything is perfect, you know? So why don't we meet back here, in say, three hours? It's great to see everyone.
Jeff, how's the wife? We're separating.
Great to hear it.
Our fearless leader.
That's it.
Who put the bunny in the toilet? This is not funny! Who thinks this is funny? Oh, really? Well, whoever's doing this, if you think you can break me that easily, you're wrong.
You can take my bunny but you can't take my spirit.
Hello there.
You have something that belongs to me.
Oh, you.
I want that book.
I have your money.
Well What are you doing here? I'm working.
What are you doing here? Where did you get the TV? You guys are a little late.
Someone else found out about the book.
Who knew this thing was like the freakin' dead sea scrolls? Anyway, they came by earlier and gave me enough money for a new flat screen.
L.
C.
D.
- even better than plasma.
Oh, my god.
Someone else has the book?! Mets cap, big sunglasses, knew all about the book Of course, if I had known it was you, I would have held out.
I swear this is purely a professional visit.
There's nothing between us anymore.
We're not even friends.
I don't even like her.
Walter, I don't care.
- You don't? - No.
- Did you get my gift? - The batteries? Yeah, thanks.
They'll really come in handy during hurricane season.
No.
Don't you remember when we first started dating, and you stopped by Pro Buy? I was doing shipping and receiving.
A box of 9-volts.
First time we kissed, you said, "careful"- "Careful, we're gonna 'cause a spark.
" Yeah.
Hey there.
Whassup? We need to talk.
We need to figure out who did this, how they found out and stop them before it's too late.
I know I'm so sorry Rumors are flying around town that horrifying, unretouched photographs of Natalie Whitman- still carrying her Jenna Fletcher weight like an albatross- have been lost by "Mode" magazine.
Now if and when they turn up, we will immediately broadcast them right here on "Fashion TV.
" Remember, we only make others feel bad to make you feel good.
I have no idea how this happened.
The book was not in my possession at the time.
Absolutely, I understand the severity of this.
Though I think it'll just be Daniel at the meeting.
He is, after all, the editor in chief and the man in charge.
Yes.
How was Queens? Like the lost city of hoochieville.
This Gina Gambarro didn't miss a beat.
Jumped right for the money.
Poor unemployed thing just couldn't bear missing another episode of Tyra.
Good work, darling.
So you're leaking the pictures? Ah, of course not.
Just the rumor that they're there.
There'll be a great deal of sweating and hand-wringing.
Bradford will realize once and for all what a dolt his son is.
And we swoop in with the missing proofs and make ourselves I'm sorry make you the hero.
Where to, Mr.
Meade? Can you just drive around for a little bit? You know, I could say I was mugged.
I could get my golf club.
You could hit me across the face.
Break my nose.
Daniel, there are a lot of things I'm willing to do for this job.
That is not one of them.
Plus, how are you gonna explain being in Queens, anyway? Betty, my father could fire me over this.
Maybe I should just have them take me to J.
F.
K.
, get a one-way ticket to Paris.
No, Rio.
It's cheaper, women are much hotter I could get a little place in Ipanema.
And then what? I don't know.
Drink.
Party? As long as I escape the pressure of ting to be something I am clearly not.
Daniel, if I can suggest instead of trying to escape this or spin it, why don't you just tell the truth? Or you can just blame me.
I don't mind being your fall girl-guy-person.
Whatever.
If you could just twist the truth one last time and give me a good recommendation, I'd really appreciate it.
Driver, take us back to the Meade building.
This is an atrocity.
I don't-I don't even know how to spin this.
This is bad.
This is Mel Gibson bad.
We are so incredibly sorry.
You know, "sorry" is not gonna cut it.
If those pictures appear on the internet, on television, our P.
R.
firm will never allow any of our clients anywhere near your magazine.
How did this happen? Well, it's um it's complicated.
They were in my office's possession at the time.
What do you intend to do about it? Well, we have people out there searching.
We're making phone calls.
We're doing everything we possibly can.
What does-what does that mean?! Will you put a sock in it already? What's he gonna do? Dispatch a commando unit for pictures? Just calm down.
Just trying to protect you.
Then come up with a solution.
I am trying to come up with a solution.
Do you know how this could hurt your career if these pictures got out there? No one wants to hire a fatty.
What's this gonna publicize, the fact that you can't lose any weight? You know how in those samurai movies they'd rather kill themselves than be captured or defeated? Ritual suicide.
It's called seppuku.
Like the beer? Anyway, this whole situation with you taking the book to Queens reminded me of that.
And I figured, rather than live with the shame of the screwup and probably end up getting fired anyway, wouldn't you rather just quit? Se-pu-ku, Betty.
- You know what? - Hmm? You really do belong here more than I do.
And I truly hope that you get everything you deserve.
Oh, thank you.
Bye.
Can you hold the elevator, please? Hey, empanada girl.
Betty, right? Yeah.
God, what happened to that bunny? It looks like it was stuck in a blender.
It probably was.
It's had a tough couple of days.
So you moving offices? Actually, um I'm quitting.
But I'm probably fired anyway, so What? Why? Look, the whole business with the book and the photos it's my fault, not Daniel's and not "mode's.
" I was taking care of the book when it was stolen.
It's just a lowly assistant screwup, and I don't want it to reflect badly on anyone else, and I'm really sorry for any pain or embarrassment or hurt that it might cause you, but for what it's worth, I really did think that those unretouched photos were beautiful.
And the truth is well, I'd kill to look like you.
It was my fault.
No one else's.
The book was my responsibility, and I left it out of my possession.
I was careless stupid.
And I know what you're thinking.
No.
No? I'm thinking, for once my son is actually being honest with me.
He's in a meeting! I need to speak to him right away.
I tried to stop her.
Look, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you.
Okay.
First, you can't fire that wonderful assistant of yours.
Oh, yes, he can.
She inspired me to come up with a solution to fix this whole problem.
Get me Bradford.
He's on line one.
Bradford, good news.
The book and the proofs turned up.
Well, my people were on a manhunt and, uh what do you mean it doesn't matter? On-on "Fashion TV"? Wha- In a stunning new twist in today's major fashionistic drama, Natalie Whitman has decided to preempt any embarrassment her missing photographs may have caused by allowing "Mode" magazine to reveal the real her and publish the pictures completely unretouched.
I just wanna put a spotlight on the hypocrisy of this business which seems intent on making any normal human being feel like an outcast.
Does this audacious move by recently installed editor Daniel Meade mark the beginning of a newer, nicer "Mode"? God help us all.
Great news, isn't it? Wonderful.
So it turned up? Anonymously dropped off at the front desk.
Lucky thing.
Indeed.
I'll make sure it's never out of my sight again.
Please do that.
Good night, Daniel.
Good night, Wilhelmina.
Night.
Bastard.
Well, I've done the best I can with it, but to be honest, I think you're screwed.
Well, thank you, Christina.
- Do you have 'em? - I do.
- Here they are.
- Thank you.
Bought myself another day so I can honestly go through this.
You know, come here.
Take a look at this.
"Betty Suarez, executive assistant.
" You found the error? That's my job.
Oh, um so these are american-made, non-sweatshop, and I promise you they're as comfortable as the Magginis.
Thank you, Betty, really.
You know I'm actually- you can go home.
I'm gonna be here for a little while.
Okay.
Good night.
Bye, Amanda.
And though my bunny and I are a little worse for wear, we're here, and we're staying, and it's gonna take a hell of a lot more to get rid of either one of us.
Good night! Whatever! I'm still prettier.
This is Daniel.
It's amazing how little we can know about the people we love.
Your father, for instance.
What? Who is this? He's a man of many, many secrets, Daniel.
Dig a little deeper, and you may find he's capable of practically anything.
That nepotistic son of a bitch gives my job to his His son.
Who do you work for? I'm your new assistant.
He made Daniel hire you 'cause he didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistants anymore.
I'm in love with someone else.
Gina Gambarro? You broke my plasma! I'm very unhappy.
It's a setback.
But it's just a matter of time.
Once he's out of the picture, the company will be ours for the taking.
Great bunny.
Oh, thank you.
My sister gave that to me when I graduated from Queens College.
One of america's best value colleges.
Yep, yep, that's the one.
It's sort of a good-luck charm, seeing as I am doing what I've always wanted to- magazine publishing.
Well, kudos, and I certainly applaud your efforts at personalizing your desk.
So different.
So you.
Marc! I have to go.
Oh, it was an amazing night for me, too.
Listen, I gotta get back to work.
I will call you very, very soon, okay? All right.
No idea who that was.
Good morning, Daniel.
Can I get you some coffee? Actually, I was wondering if you had a chance to look at "page six" today.
No.
"Daniel Meade's assistant confirms he was wearing a Dior suit, Gucci tie and Maggini shoes.
" Yeah, that's what you wore.
Isn't it? The Magginis are a problem.
But you said that they're the most comfortable shoes you own.
No, no, they are.
Unfortunately there's a whole sweatshop thing with them- cambodian kids, forced labor, I don't know.
Point is, it's best if people don't know I wear their shoes.
Okay.
Listen, Betty.
The press, people in this business- they have a way of taking the truth, twisting it around.
We always got to protect ourselves, twist it around ourselves if we need to.
I got it.
Oh, hey.
I got that Natalie Whitman meeting in a few minutes.
Wow, she's my favorite.
I love those Jenna Fletcher movies, and her catchphrase, "you do the math.
" You know she gains 30 pounds every single time she does that role? Yeah, and apparently she hasn't lost any of it.
Do you want in on that meeting? Me? Um, wow! Yes.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Thank you, Daniel.
Remember, you and me, we're a team.
And I will take that coffee now.
Black, extra sugar.
Thanks.
Has Wilhelmina Slater, "Mode" creative director, got over her humiliation of being passed over for the boss' son? That's the question on everyone's lips after the recent regime change when Daniel Meade, slutty scion of parent company, Meade Publications, was named new editor in chief.
Daniel took over after the hot, hot death of former editor Fey Sommers in a fiery car crash.
The world is still in mourning after the fur-loving fashion martyr lost control of her vehicle after being chased by angry animal rights activists.
You wanted to see me? Just checking in.
Yeah, no.
Everything's going terrific.
First issue goes to press tomorrow.
Natalie Whitman, the star of the Jenna Fletcher movies, is our featured layout.
"You do the math.
" Yeah, that's right.
Good.
Daniel, I don't need to remind you of the importance of succeeding here.
"Mode" is a stepping stone for you, but a significant one.
You do well, eventually you'll end up sitting where I am, running the company.
Have you been getting the book? The book.
What book are you referring to, exactly? "Editor in chief for dummies.
" The book, Daniel.
The book.
The mock-up of the entire magazine.
Each department submits their section throughout the day.
Photo, style, advertising- all of "mode's" secrets.
The person in charge of the magazine takes it home overnight and gives their notes.
The person who controls the book controls the magazine.
Thank you, Edgar.
You're very welcome, miss Slater.
Which is why, if you're ever going to succeed here, and hopefully be sitting where I am someday, you have to control it.
The book is your responsibility.
And right here we're going to smooth out all of the chin fat.
Good, good.
Tighten that punem.
Lean out the arm flab.
Downsize these hips about 15%.
At least.
And this area right over here.
My breasts? Lift them up a notch.
Sag begone.
It's gonna be great.
You are going to look amazing.
Okay, I didn't think the pictures looked too bad.
I thought that I looked- I don't know.
- Normal? - Yes.
Natalie, you're absolutely right.
You look normal- wonderfully so.
And if this were any other magazine, that would be fine.
But this is "Mode.
" And we are not about normal.
We are about aspirational.
So why not, with the help of modern technology, give yourself the opportunity to look as stunning as you possibly could? Hmm.
Y ou.
- Me? - Yeah.
What do you think? Oh, well, I think you look gr- Natalie, as editor in chief, I say, why not take something that's hot and make it super hot? It's a tres good career move, and remember, we're still trying to land you "2 million dollar baby.
" Okay.
I guess you guys are the experts.
I'll let you do your magic.
Okay, it's gonna be fabulous.
Listen, the features people want to finish your interview Print out the finished version, put it in the book.
And by the way, why have I yet to see any sort of concept on that Beyonce pyromia spread we talked about? Oh, I'll get right to it.
I'd love to see that as well.
Yeah, sure.
Wilhelmina, do you have a minute? For you, Daniel, I have two.
I'm editor in chief.
I should be receiving the book at the end of each day.
Well, with all your responsibility, do you really think you have the time? Take my advice.
Focus on the big picture.
Don't be afraid to delegate.
That's what I'm here for.
Wilhelmina, certain things fall under my purview.
The book is one of them.
So from now on, I'm going to start reiving the book every night.
As you wish.
That was strong in there.
Very editorial.
Well, the book is my responsibility.
It's way too important.
You know that scene in the movies when the guy is on the plane, and he's handcuffed to the briefcase? You want to handcuff yourself to the book? No, it's-it's a metaphor.
By the way, the next time you find yourself on the spot like you did in there with Natalie, you just gotta kinda go with the vibe in the room.
Even if I don't agree? If it's the best thing for the magazine, definitely.
You know what? I left my P.
D.
A.
in the conference room.
Can you grab that for me? Sure.
Has anyone seen my bunny? It's, um, pink green tummy, graduation cap.
No? How dare he embarrass me like that in front of everyone? The tall jar of mayonnaise is clearly making a power play.
Well, if that's what he wants What are you thinking? We give him the book.
Leave the unretouched Natalie Whitman photos in there, he signs off, it goes to print, enraged publicists, celebrities canceling their layouts.
"Mode" in chaos, and you'll be the only guiding light left to lead the magazine out.
Uber clever.
Thank you.
Ooh, Marc, at that arch.
Ah.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Oh, those look damn good.
Hook me up, girl.
- Ooh.
- I'm a vegan.
Carnivore here, through and through.
So tell me, what exactly were they retouching on Ms.
"You do the math"? Everything.
I never even realized how much they do to these people.
The chin, the butt, the hips, the teeth- Oh, you don't even know.
They ever got their hands on me, I'd look like a pre-crack Whitney.
And I never even got to tell her what I really thought, which was that she looked great the way she was.
That's the business we're working in.
Perfection sells fashion.
It's all fake and unattainable, but nobody seems to get it.
I get it.
Really? Would you buy a magazine if I was on the cover? Yeah.
"National Geographic.
" I would buy any magazine that you were on the cover of, Christina.
Are you trying to suffocate us with that putrid smell? Oh, they're empanadas.
They're disgusting.
Oh, my god.
There is nothing here except non-caloric space food.
And I am starving.
Can I have one of those, please? Yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Oh, wow.
You know, I might as well eat the whole thing, because they're gonna make me look like Nicole Richie anyway.
So what do you guys think of the latest Jenna Fletcher movie? And you can be honest, 'cause I'm not one of those actresses with some huge ego.
Oh, it was really good.
I enjoyed it.
- Yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
So how do you guys put up with working here Funny thing, being on the other side, everyone believing you've perished.
We have to assume Bradford was behind this "fiery car crash," but where do we get the evidence? We have to find a way to get it out of him.
Then he goes to jail and we take over the company.
Simultaneously, we need to get Daniel out of "Mode.
" We can't have him waiting in the wings to take over.
Hopefully I'm making strides in that direction.
So the question is, how do we get to Bradford? Well, I can't confront him directly.
He'll just fire me.
Then we use Daniel.
I didn't know you spoke german.
I don't.
I just own the newspaper.
I found something you should be aware of.
Estate sale for Fey Sommers.
I can never just be rid of this woman.
Who knew you hated Fey Sommers that much? Who said I hated her? Anyway, I was thinking I'd break into the place today, go through, see if there's anything incriminating.
I'll do it.
I have a key.
Besides, you don't know what's really incriminating.
What's wrong, pumpkin? Nothing.
Oh, wow.
The book.
I'll give it to him.
No, no.
This is too important.
I'll give it to him directly.
Here you go.
Wilhelmina's notes are already inside.
She said pay close attention to the Fanny Pack article.
She's not sure we're hitting the emotional arc just yet.
- Thank you.
- Toodles.
So Wilhelmina's office gave me two tickets to Pagliacci at the Met.
It's boring as all hell, but there is a little alcove on the second floor where we can do all sorts of naughty things and never get caught.
This can wait till the morning.
See you tomorrow, Betty.
Do you need me to do anything else? Oh, just keep working.
A little overtime, and you can afford invisaligns.
Hi, this is Daniel.
Leave a message.
Hey, uh, Daniel, it's me.
I'm in your office, and I saw that you left the book out.
Um, I don't know if I should just leave it here um, or not.
Um I mean, I guess I'll just take the book home for safekeeping, and I'll bring it back tomorrow morning.
Okay, um bye.
I mean, she was so nice.
She sat there and talked to us, like, forever.
What was her name again? Natalie Whitman.
Never heard of her.
Hello! From the Jenna Fletcher movies.
"You do the math.
" Well, dad, she did have some of your empanadas, and she said they were great.
Really? Bueno, the woman has good taste.
Here.
What's that? It's the mock-up for the next issue of "Mode.
" - Oh, my god.
- Hey, be careful! You have the book? Wait, Justin, how do you even know what the book is? I saw "Prada" like, seven times.
So how did you get it? Well, my boss was rushing out of the office and he forgot it, and I didn't want to just leave it there, so Hey, look, your name on the masthead.
Really? Well, sort of.
They spelled it "Betsy" Suarez.
Oh.
Ay, what a day.
No matter how many times I explain it, no one has a freakin' clue what an antioxidant is.
Look what I found at the door.
Wow, 9-volt batteries.
Prince charming's really going the extra mile.
Ay, mama, you gotta be a little bit more forgiving, okay? Walter cares for you.
Well, he should've thought about that before he left me for Gina Gambarro.
Listen to me.
That poor thing- he didn't stand a chance.
That girl is predatory.
Is that why they call her "Gina Hyena"? Exactly.
What's this? It's a mock-up of the magazine where Betty works.
It's all nice, but what's the problem with having some latinas somewhere in here, huh? You gotta give these things a little flava, you know? - I'll get some dulce de leche- - Ew! Natalie Whitman is still fat.
Oh, wow.
Daniel didn't swap out the unretouched photos.
He's gonna put her in as she really is.
That's awful.
Justin! That's great.
Oh, I bet you that's Walter.
Ay, Betty, be nice.
Where the hell's my $4,000? What are you talking about? Uh, you broke my flat screen.
Gina, I did not break your- Listen, you barged into my house like a little mexican banshee and slammed my door.
Thing smashed right on the floor 'cause of you.
Well, maybe if you stayed away from what wasn't yours Oh, are you still hung up over that? Look, I want my money or a comparably priced 50-inch plasma installed.
Bitch, out my house.
- Oh, no, you did not just call me a - Oh, yes, I did! Please be careful with the book.
Gina, leave.
Fine.
Have it your way.
But remember, Betty, I'm a bad seed.
I did a year in juvie.
Ooh, I'm gonna whup that girl's ass.
Did I miss something on the telenovela? See? This is why I don't want us to have a dog.
Have you guys seen the book? - What book? - The book, dad.
The "Mode" book.
I came downstairs and it was gone.
- You lost it? - No, I didn't lose it! It's just in a place that I don't know about! It's gotta be here somewhere.
If I show up at work without that book, the entire layout for the magazine- Daniel's first issue- is gone, and it goes to print tonight.
Come on, people lose things.
Stuff is backed up by computers.
It can't be that big a deal.
- What is going on? - She lost the book.
- I'll go check the living room.
- I'll make you some eggs.
Dad, what is food gonna do for me right now? It's a crisis.
I cook.
Betty! It was slid under the door.
"I have your precious book.
Maybe if I had a new flat screen TV, I'd have something better to do with my nights than break into people's homes.
" Gina! Justin, put your headphones on.
That bitch! Oh, my god! If that showerhead could pay my bills, I would marry it.
- Hey, uh, Daniel, it's me - We're gonna be late.
Not that late.
Do you like it when I bite your ear? - Damn it.
- Oh, I guess not.
- I gotta call Betty.
- Okay, buzz kill.
She took the book home to her house last night.
To Queens? Ew! Hello? Yeah, this is Daniel Meade for Betty.
I have to tell him what happened.
Justin, headphones.
You do not tell this man the truth.
You lie.
We will get that book back.
I promise you.
Hi, Daniel.
I just got your message.
You took the book home? Yeah, um, I didn't know where to leave it.
Betty, you're an assistant.
You never, ever take that book out of the office.
What, did she need it to fix the wobbly leg under her coffee table? Listen, nothing spilled on it, right? There's no-no rips, tears, anything? No, no, no, unh-unh.
No, nothing like that.
Fire her.
Fire her right now.
I would be such a better assistant.
Why don't you go get dressed? Okay, but I'm telling you, you're gonna get it back, and there's gonna be chimichurr-o sauce all over it.
Listen, uh, Betty, I know it was an honest mistake.
You have it.
It's safe.
That- so that's all that's important.
Yeah, um it's totally safe.
Um I'm looking at the layout of Natalie Whitman right now.
Um, and by the way, I think it's very brave and impressive that you used the original photos.
What original photos? You know, the-the unretouched pictures of Natalie.
I never approved that.
Wait, are there unretouched photos in that book? - Yeah, I thought you had approved them.
- This isn't happening.
Look, if those- if those photos ever got out, it would be disastrous, Betty.
Okay, Betty, do not let that book out of your sight.
I'm sending a car over to pick you up right now.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, I'm-I'm-I'm holding it.
Bye.
I am in big trouble.
What?! Hilda just told me that Gina Gambarro stole your book.
Give me the phone.
I'm calling her parents.
Dad, I'm not 6.
She's right.
I'll handle this.
I'm gonna show that skank a whole new use for her curling iron.
Hilda, don't.
I don't need you guys to fight my battles.
I can handle this.
I'm an adult.
Please! Gina, please! Look, I have something you want, and you have something I want.
Give me my 4 grand so I can get a new TV, and you get your book back.
I don't have $4,000.
Then I probably won't take a check.
Gina, this is my job.
You cannot do this to me.
Oh, look at that.
I accidentally tore a page.
No, no, no, no, don't.
You don't do that.
Don't do that, Gina.
Maybe you learned a little lesson here.
No one screws with Gina Gambarro.
Then maybe you've learned a little lesson.
Gina Gambarro should always latch her back door.
Get out of my house.
I will call the police so fast.
This is trespassing.
Oh, what do you call breaking into our house last night? Look, she replaces my TV, and she gets her stupid book back.
Okay, I am only gonna ask you one time.
Where is it? I don't seem to remember.
Well, maybe pulling that weave out of your head will jog your memory! It's right here! Hilda, just stop.
Stop.
The car's here.
It's no use.
Look, I just-I need to go to the office and deal with this.
You are paying for this.
Well, I guess we owe you $4,000 and fifty cents.
Hold the elevator.
Hold it! That was close.
You get a chance to look over the book yet? You know, we really can't proceed until you sign off, and we do go to press by 6:00 tonight.
I was, uh, just getting my notes together.
I'll be ready for our meeting at 10:00.
What did you think overall? Looks pretty good except for the unretouched photos of Natalie Whitman.
Unretouched photos? Yes, somehow they made it into the mock-up.
Lucky I caught that, huh? Could have been a big one.
Actually surprised you missed it.
- Well, I- - Don't sweat it.
You're probably just reaching that age where you have to start worrying about glasses.
Happens to everyone.
Love, you're gonna have to slow down.
I can't understand what you're saying.
Now what exactly is a Gina Gambarro? My neighbor.
She's the one who has the book, and she's holding it ransom.
The book? The book with the unretouched photographs of Natalie? - Oh, dear.
- This is bad, isn't it? Uh, well, I wouldn't count on "employee of the month.
" Oh, my god! What? Christina, everything up until this point has been a big lie.
I didn't get the job because I was qualified.
I got the job because Bradford Meade didn't want his son to be tempted to sleep with his assistant.
And you have more than proven yourself.
It doesn't matter.
I keep getting told that I have to twist the truth to fit in, and maybe I just don't belong at "Mode," and my bunny is paying the price for it.
Your bunny? Listen, sweetheart, there's an awful lot of information coming out of your mouth right now, and to be honest, I can't really make any sense of it.
Look, I just need to come clean to Daniel, tell him the truth.
Well, the truth might get you fired.
Well, I need to do it.
Bye, Christina.
There's hardly any traffic on the bridge, miss.
We should be there in no time.
Great.
This must be my lucky day.
This must be my lucky day.
Vampira told me to let you know they're still waiting on your notes from the book.
Uh, uh, just tell them I'm-I'm still going over it.
I, uh, I ran out of post-its, okay? Yeah.
Oh, and, uh, call Betty again.
Find out where the hell she- Okay! I'm no seeing the book in your hands.
Why is that? Because Gina Gambarro has it.
Gambarro? Gambarro.
Is that a-a new designer? No, it's an old slut.
She broke into my house, and she took it, and now she's holding it ransom- What? W-w-wait.
You told me you had the book.
- You said you were looking at it.
- Yeah, I lied or I twisted the truth to try to buy some time and fix it.
Betty, you don't lie to me, ever.
We're on the same team.
I mean, we cannot afford to have those unretouched Natalie proofs out there in any way, shape or form, and I-I cannot tell you how royally screwed she and this entire magazine could be.
Because there's pictures of what she actually looks like? Exactly.
How much does this Gina want? $4,000.
Daniel, I-I will pay you back with interest, or you can take it out of my check for the next five years.
I'm so sorry.
Okay, stop, uh we're gonna deal with this later.
Get my checkbook out of my top drawer and meet me downstairs.
We're going to Queens.
Daniel, they're all waiting for you.
Oh, right.
Well, it looks like our 10:00 meeting is finally beginning.
We're all very excited to hear your thoughts on the book, Daniel.
Where is the book, anyway? Oh, uh, it's back there in my office.
I see it.
Well, don't you need it to go through your notes with us? Uh, actually, I just came in to tell you all I- I think you did a great job on this issue, and I don't really have any notes, so Well, I do.
You mind if I get it back so I can go through mine? You want the book back.
If it's not a problem.
Actually, um, I might want to take one more look at it, just to make sure everything is perfect, you know? So why don't we meet back here, in say, three hours? It's great to see everyone.
Jeff, how's the wife? We're separating.
Great to hear it.
Our fearless leader.
That's it.
Who put the bunny in the toilet? This is not funny! Who thinks this is funny? Oh, really? Well, whoever's doing this, if you think you can break me that easily, you're wrong.
You can take my bunny but you can't take my spirit.
Hello there.
You have something that belongs to me.
Oh, you.
I want that book.
I have your money.
Well What are you doing here? I'm working.
What are you doing here? Where did you get the TV? You guys are a little late.
Someone else found out about the book.
Who knew this thing was like the freakin' dead sea scrolls? Anyway, they came by earlier and gave me enough money for a new flat screen.
L.
C.
D.
- even better than plasma.
Oh, my god.
Someone else has the book?! Mets cap, big sunglasses, knew all about the book Of course, if I had known it was you, I would have held out.
I swear this is purely a professional visit.
There's nothing between us anymore.
We're not even friends.
I don't even like her.
Walter, I don't care.
- You don't? - No.
- Did you get my gift? - The batteries? Yeah, thanks.
They'll really come in handy during hurricane season.
No.
Don't you remember when we first started dating, and you stopped by Pro Buy? I was doing shipping and receiving.
A box of 9-volts.
First time we kissed, you said, "careful"- "Careful, we're gonna 'cause a spark.
" Yeah.
Hey there.
Whassup? We need to talk.
We need to figure out who did this, how they found out and stop them before it's too late.
I know I'm so sorry Rumors are flying around town that horrifying, unretouched photographs of Natalie Whitman- still carrying her Jenna Fletcher weight like an albatross- have been lost by "Mode" magazine.
Now if and when they turn up, we will immediately broadcast them right here on "Fashion TV.
" Remember, we only make others feel bad to make you feel good.
I have no idea how this happened.
The book was not in my possession at the time.
Absolutely, I understand the severity of this.
Though I think it'll just be Daniel at the meeting.
He is, after all, the editor in chief and the man in charge.
Yes.
How was Queens? Like the lost city of hoochieville.
This Gina Gambarro didn't miss a beat.
Jumped right for the money.
Poor unemployed thing just couldn't bear missing another episode of Tyra.
Good work, darling.
So you're leaking the pictures? Ah, of course not.
Just the rumor that they're there.
There'll be a great deal of sweating and hand-wringing.
Bradford will realize once and for all what a dolt his son is.
And we swoop in with the missing proofs and make ourselves I'm sorry make you the hero.
Where to, Mr.
Meade? Can you just drive around for a little bit? You know, I could say I was mugged.
I could get my golf club.
You could hit me across the face.
Break my nose.
Daniel, there are a lot of things I'm willing to do for this job.
That is not one of them.
Plus, how are you gonna explain being in Queens, anyway? Betty, my father could fire me over this.
Maybe I should just have them take me to J.
F.
K.
, get a one-way ticket to Paris.
No, Rio.
It's cheaper, women are much hotter I could get a little place in Ipanema.
And then what? I don't know.
Drink.
Party? As long as I escape the pressure of ting to be something I am clearly not.
Daniel, if I can suggest instead of trying to escape this or spin it, why don't you just tell the truth? Or you can just blame me.
I don't mind being your fall girl-guy-person.
Whatever.
If you could just twist the truth one last time and give me a good recommendation, I'd really appreciate it.
Driver, take us back to the Meade building.
This is an atrocity.
I don't-I don't even know how to spin this.
This is bad.
This is Mel Gibson bad.
We are so incredibly sorry.
You know, "sorry" is not gonna cut it.
If those pictures appear on the internet, on television, our P.
R.
firm will never allow any of our clients anywhere near your magazine.
How did this happen? Well, it's um it's complicated.
They were in my office's possession at the time.
What do you intend to do about it? Well, we have people out there searching.
We're making phone calls.
We're doing everything we possibly can.
What does-what does that mean?! Will you put a sock in it already? What's he gonna do? Dispatch a commando unit for pictures? Just calm down.
Just trying to protect you.
Then come up with a solution.
I am trying to come up with a solution.
Do you know how this could hurt your career if these pictures got out there? No one wants to hire a fatty.
What's this gonna publicize, the fact that you can't lose any weight? You know how in those samurai movies they'd rather kill themselves than be captured or defeated? Ritual suicide.
It's called seppuku.
Like the beer? Anyway, this whole situation with you taking the book to Queens reminded me of that.
And I figured, rather than live with the shame of the screwup and probably end up getting fired anyway, wouldn't you rather just quit? Se-pu-ku, Betty.
- You know what? - Hmm? You really do belong here more than I do.
And I truly hope that you get everything you deserve.
Oh, thank you.
Bye.
Can you hold the elevator, please? Hey, empanada girl.
Betty, right? Yeah.
God, what happened to that bunny? It looks like it was stuck in a blender.
It probably was.
It's had a tough couple of days.
So you moving offices? Actually, um I'm quitting.
But I'm probably fired anyway, so What? Why? Look, the whole business with the book and the photos it's my fault, not Daniel's and not "mode's.
" I was taking care of the book when it was stolen.
It's just a lowly assistant screwup, and I don't want it to reflect badly on anyone else, and I'm really sorry for any pain or embarrassment or hurt that it might cause you, but for what it's worth, I really did think that those unretouched photos were beautiful.
And the truth is well, I'd kill to look like you.
It was my fault.
No one else's.
The book was my responsibility, and I left it out of my possession.
I was careless stupid.
And I know what you're thinking.
No.
No? I'm thinking, for once my son is actually being honest with me.
He's in a meeting! I need to speak to him right away.
I tried to stop her.
Look, I'm sorry to interrupt, but I need to speak to you.
Okay.
First, you can't fire that wonderful assistant of yours.
Oh, yes, he can.
She inspired me to come up with a solution to fix this whole problem.
Get me Bradford.
He's on line one.
Bradford, good news.
The book and the proofs turned up.
Well, my people were on a manhunt and, uh what do you mean it doesn't matter? On-on "Fashion TV"? Wha- In a stunning new twist in today's major fashionistic drama, Natalie Whitman has decided to preempt any embarrassment her missing photographs may have caused by allowing "Mode" magazine to reveal the real her and publish the pictures completely unretouched.
I just wanna put a spotlight on the hypocrisy of this business which seems intent on making any normal human being feel like an outcast.
Does this audacious move by recently installed editor Daniel Meade mark the beginning of a newer, nicer "Mode"? God help us all.
Great news, isn't it? Wonderful.
So it turned up? Anonymously dropped off at the front desk.
Lucky thing.
Indeed.
I'll make sure it's never out of my sight again.
Please do that.
Good night, Daniel.
Good night, Wilhelmina.
Night.
Bastard.
Well, I've done the best I can with it, but to be honest, I think you're screwed.
Well, thank you, Christina.
- Do you have 'em? - I do.
- Here they are.
- Thank you.
Bought myself another day so I can honestly go through this.
You know, come here.
Take a look at this.
"Betty Suarez, executive assistant.
" You found the error? That's my job.
Oh, um so these are american-made, non-sweatshop, and I promise you they're as comfortable as the Magginis.
Thank you, Betty, really.
You know I'm actually- you can go home.
I'm gonna be here for a little while.
Okay.
Good night.
Bye, Amanda.
And though my bunny and I are a little worse for wear, we're here, and we're staying, and it's gonna take a hell of a lot more to get rid of either one of us.
Good night! Whatever! I'm still prettier.
This is Daniel.
It's amazing how little we can know about the people we love.
Your father, for instance.
What? Who is this? He's a man of many, many secrets, Daniel.
Dig a little deeper, and you may find he's capable of practically anything.