Video Nasty (2025) s01e02 Episode Script

1
This programme
contains some scenes
which some viewers
may find upsetting,
strong language and
discriminatory language
We're down to the last
tape - Nightmare Maker.
How about hitting up that
sexy pen pal of yours?
We're going to England. She
has the tape - Nightmare Maker!
We get the tape, we sell the
collection, we pay back the money.
How do we pay for the
ferry, the bus, everything?
Your sister.
You shitheads want
to come to a party?
Someone call an ambulance!
Soon as I get my
cut, I'm moving out.
Excuse me?
Her cut?
WHISPERED: What?
WHISPERED: Oh, my God.
WHISPERED: What?
ZOE!
SHIP HORN BLOWS, SEAGULLS SQUAWK
For the love of God
NEWSREADER: Tonight's
Sixty Minute headlines -
with the miners back at work,
anger is still in the air.
We'll be reporting
from one community
who are finding it
hard to move on.
Five months out from
the September deadline,
we'll be looking at what
video classification means
for the so-called video nasties.
Police appear no closer to
catching the IRA bombers
who killed five people
in Brighton last October.
Tensions remain high, with soldiers
posted in airports and harbours
to prevent further attacks.
Can I have that?
No, it's mine. No, the bag.
Fuck's sake, Con.
This happens every
time we get the bus.
We're not even moving yet.
Just stick your fingers down
your throat and be done with it.
No.
You'll make yourself miserable,
and it'll come out eventually.
OK, just be cool.
Would you relax?
He doesn't care about your
tapes. He won't go near you.
Why not?
I'm not being funny,
but you don't exactly look
like you're in the IRA.
Nice arse, all the same.
So, what's the plan?
I want to know we're
going to get this done.
And then what?
You're going to move out,
sleep on a park bench,
become one of those
crazy bag ladies?
Are you going to tell
me what we're doing,
or is this going to
be the kind of trip
where I have to hold your
dicks every time you piss?
What the fuck, Zoe?!
That's your brother!
When we get off the bus, we walk
to Ashdale, pitch up on a campsite,
then we meet her in the
pub tomorrow at lunchtime.
Our three tapes for
her Nightmare Maker.
Done deal.
I'm sure you'll find
a way to fuck it up.
CON RETCHES, BREATHES HEAVILY
OK, I know what'll cheer you up.
Top five kill scenes.
Jesus.
Um, Leatherface.
The first kill on Kirk,
when it comes straight
out of nowhere.
OK, although it's
formally quite basic.
For me, Halloween.
The opening POV shot when mini
Michael Myers kills his sister.
Oh, you like the
sister killers, do you?
Depends on the sister, Zoe.
The Omen - Damien
killing his nanny.
Technically, she kills herself.
Yeah, but he makes her do it.
I'll allow it.
Er, Suspiria with the
stained-glass window.
Yes! Yes!
The score, the lighting,
that sound design!
Oh, that rhythm, every
time she gets stabbed!
Oh, for fuck's sake!
I'm sick of listening
to this shit!
Do any fellas get
killed in these films,
or are they all just
sexist and rapey?
What is she talking about?
They're kill scenes.
No-one's even in the nip.
How disappointing!
That's not what
I'm watching for!
Some of them are just funny.
I mean, Evil Dead is
basically just slapstick.
OK, yeah, well, when
they're not funny,
when some girl's just getting
stabbed over and over again,
do you look away at all?
Or do you feel a little
tingle in your trousers, hmm?
What the fuck, Zoe?
We're trying to
enjoy ourselves here.
And I didn't say we
liked all of them.
Some of them are shit,
they're just on the list,
they're part of the collection.
You didn't answer. What do you do
when you're watching that shit?
What do you do?
All right, then - you
answer if he won't. Go on.
I close my eyes and
I say a prayer, OK?
Oh, of course you do.
Leave me alone.
Really?
Cos I've never seen you do that.
Yeah, cos you never look away.
Yeah, that's because
I can take it.
Is that not the
whole fucking point?
What do you know, anyway?
You're the freak who locked
herself in her bedroom for a month.
Hmm.
Oh. Zoe
..what are you doing home?
Uh, free last class. You?
I, uh
I clocked off early, you know?
I needed to lie down.
TOILET FLUSHES
Is Mam home? I
didn't see her car.
FROM BEHIND DOOR: Come on, Frankie!
Let's have a ride in the shower.
Go to your room.
GO TO YOUR ROOM!
For the lady
..and the gentleman.
Come on, Abe, you don't
need to be so polite.
We go way back.
This is respect.
I don't do polite.
And it's A-be,
like it always was.
There's no milk.
Jesus, Frank, it's
a foreign thing.
There's no biscuits either. Is
that a foreign thing as well?
QUIETLY: Don't be talking
about the biscuits.
We've bigger fish to fry.
Let me get this straight.
No sign of Zoe.
Her friends haven't seen her.
They won't tell you
anything about the party.
You called the Scouts and
there's no camping trip,
and Billy said he was gone
camping with Con, so
They've all done
a runner together.
Yeah, but where?
And why would Zoe go with them?
I knew we shouldn't have said all
that stuff about grounding her.
Really?
Do you want to do this again?
It's fine.
I can wait until you have
finished quarrelling.
Billy said he was going camping.
He plans to be back.
These boys know
what they are doing.
And you know, sometimes,
the more you know,
the more you don't
want to know, you know?
Why do I feel like you're
hiding something from us?
Look, we're wasting time.
We should contact the
Guards, start the process.
It's OK, relax. Ah-ah!
I tell you what I know, but
let's not involve the police.
The boys I work with at the
port have a good thing going on.
I won't be the one
to spoil it for them.
What's that got to
do with our kids?
Yeah.
OK, look, I don't
know where they are
..but I know someone who might.
It's like hell
opened a video shop.
DOOR CLOSES
Well, I take that as
a huge compliment.
You're sick. You're
genuinely sick.
And they just keep on coming.
Ah, don't mind all
this Hollywood stuff.
This is just a sample of
what I have out the back.
So these are the
video nasties, then?
I Miss You - Hugs & Kisses.
Doesn't look so bad.
God, he's wearing a
wet T-shirt. Oh, God.
God, this isn't our Con.
This is not hi
This is you.
This is you and your strange
son leading him astray.
"Strange"? Mm.
You think I like these films?
No.
I like to see him
working for something.
That's more important to me.
Right, come on then,
what do you know?
Well, I know they got a
lead on the last tape -
some girl in the UK.
I don't know what her name
is or where she lives,
but if I was to guess, I'd
say that's what they are.
In the UK?
They're out of the country,
with a load of Brits?
God, anything could
happen to them.
They'll probably be locked
up for being in the IRA.
At least we'd know where
to find them. That's true.
Look, I will say this -
them two boys,
they're good kids.
You don't need to be
worried about them.
They're not,
you know, what they watch -
which is probably just as well.
TJ CHUCKLES
Do you think this is funny?
Which? The film
or the situation?
Because, I mean, neither
is a barrel of laughs.
I'm out of here.
I'm out of here!
OK, maybe we should
take a breath
before someone has
a nervous breakdown.
I've got to call the Guards.
I've got to call the Guards!
Whoa, whoa, you're not
calling the Guards.
Maureen, wait!
Derbyshire -
if TJ says they've gone to
that girl, that's where she is.
Billy, he writes
to a PO box there.
They are not in some
big, dangerous city, OK?
They'll be back.
Don't make this complicated.
I am telling you, if they don't call
me tonight to tell me they're safe,
we'll do what we have to.
And you wonder why Eileen left.
Come on, Frank.
Jesus.
UNDER BREATH: Brits.
ENGINE ROARS, MUSIC BLARES
How long is this walk?
It's a few hours.
Hours?!
With all this gear?
Are you for real?
No, we'll hitch.
Er, no, we won't. We
stick to the plan.
We're never even going to make it
to this stupid campsite in time
to get a spot, right, Con?
Suit yourself. We're walking.
Don't move, Con. Don't be a sap.
Con
You don't have to
jump cos he said so.
Seriously, don't fuck with me.
I don't know, OK?!
I'm wrecked.
I feel like shit!
This isn't fucking fun!
Can we all just
get along, please?!
ENGINE ROARS
You lot need directions?
I just saw you
poring over that map.
Yeah, well, we're not lost.
Um, actually, we're
heading just
Ashdale - we're
looking for Ashdale.
Oh
..right, you'd be
straight down that road.
You're going in the
wrong direction.
Long way to walk,
though - all that gear.
Any chance of a lift?
It'd be a tight squeeze.
Please.
All right. Go on, then. Hop in.
Oh, class. Thank you.
The Derbyshire welcome.
Put your stuff in the back.
What's that big needle thing?
For the cows.
You're in farm country now.
You don't look like a farmer.
I'm not.
I had to use it on the dog.
ROCK MUSIC BLARES
MUSIC STOPS
Not much for small
talk, are you?
Are you over for
commemoration or something?
Commemoration?
Bash day, love.
It's famous - famous
for the plague.
Sounds lovely.
Historically.
People here quarantined, stopped
the spread of the Black Death.
Half of the East Midlands
wouldn't be alive
if it weren't for what
our ancestors did.
There's a big centenary
thing this week.
Everyone gets dressed
up in medieval clobber.
There's a big
bonfire and whatnot.
Yeah, well, um, we're
not staying long, so
Strange, that, hearing a Paddy
accent from one of your lot.
Oh, sorry.
Is Paddy not allowed any more?
HE TUTS Can't keep up.
Yeah.
Picked it up at a car-boot sale.
Helps me beat the traffic.
All these strikes, picket
lines, they pop up everywhere.
Bloody scroungers.
Pop it down.
Sorry.
Thanks.
It's a cold night for camping.
Do you know, I bet my
mum would have you
..for a good price.
She used to run the
place as a guest house.
I could take you
there, if you want.
Yeah, I, um
I think we're fine.
Yeah, just an idea.
What do you think, love?
Campsite's grand, thanks.
Sure?
There's plenty of room.
Although maybe some of
us might have to share.
Hey, stop!
Oi, what are you doing?!
What am I doing?
What are you talking about?
It's just a joke.
Some people are so touchy.
Do that again, you'll need a
bandage of your own, all right?
All right, keep your
knickers on, love.
Excuse me?!
Excuse YOU.
You know, if you're going to
be such a stuck-up bitch
..you can get out and walk.
Wait, where's Ashdale?
There's a trail
through the woods.
Now get the fuck out.
What the f?
You all right?
That wasn't cool
what he did, an' all.
Wait, wait, wait
CON LAUGHS
Finally!
I did say it.
I told you so.
Look, we've got torches,
an ex-Boy Scout with us,
we'll get a fire going.
What else do we need?
Walking trail - this way.
Top five
cabin-in-the-woods films.
Don't even think about it.
For me, it has to be
No!
OK, top five campfire scenes.
Shut up, Billy!
How do we even know this
is the way to Ashdale, huh?
Are we really
trusting that creep?
We're heading in the right
direction, all right? Relax.
It's going to be fine.
DISTANT SQUAWKING
What was that?
It's nothing. Just
some animal.
ANIMAL CRIES IN DISTANCE
Just some animal?
Tigers are "some animal."
It's not a fucking tiger, is it?
Why are you acting
like you're not scared?
I have a feeling we're not on
the walking trail any more.
All right, let's not push it.
Let's just find a spot and camp
up before it gets any darker.
I feel like a million quid now.
Can finally start
enjoying this trip.
Now, it hasn't gone exactly
how I pictured it, you know?
Not the best trailer
for next year.
Ah, forget next year.
This is what it's
all about, man.
Let's make the most of it.
Uh, I have some questions.
Where did you get that?
On the floor.
You need to be more careful
with your love letters.
Zoe, Zoe!
LAUGHING: "Gloria
Fangirl?" Stop, Stop!
Relax!
Someone has to advise on this.
This girl could be
playing you like a fiddle.
Yeah, well, she's not, all
right? Yeah? How do you know?
Cos she's genuine.
She's not full of
shit like your mates.
You don't even know them.
But I see them.
I see you dying to be the
same as everyone else.
You need to stop confusing being
weird with being interesting.
You need to stop confusing being
popular with being a bitch.
Can we just stop? No.
We've been writing letters to
each other for ages, all right?
We've exchanged tapes already.
I've seen photos of her
collection and she's seen mine.
Oh, my God!
You actually like her!
Look at you, all spiky,
like I just insulted
your girlfriend.
I'm scarlet for you.
You actually think you're
going to come over here
and meet your dream
girl? Shut up.
Some fucking cool girl,
and you're going to make a
connection over shite movies.
It's pathetic.
That's not true, is it?
No!
I mean, she did say her
folks were away, so, look
Is that what this whole
trip is about? No, it's not.
No, look, I don't need to
listen to this shit, all right?
She's not a liar
..unlike you.
What's that supposed to mean?
Oh, come on, we know you were having
some sort of nervous breakdown,
or whatever they call it.
That's why you
weren't in school.
And that's why you
wouldn't leave your room.
Billy, don't.
No, some people were saying
you were up the duff,
knocking it in the
head in Liverpool.
Other people were
saying eating disorder.
But me and Con, we both know
you're just mental.
That's not what I
Great. She started it.
Why can't you just be
nice to each other?
Grow up, Con.
THUNDER RUMBLES
ZOE BREATHES HEAVILY
HEAVY RAINFALL
BRANCH SNAPS
Con?
ZOE SCREAMS
Con!
CON!
There's someone
There's someone
There's someone out there!
He had a mask, and I thought
he was going to Con!
Look, hey, hey, hey, slow down!
There's someone out there, Con!
What's going on? What's going on? She
thinks she saw someone over there.
I don't THINK anything.
He was right there.
You don't believe me?
No, I do. It's just
Just what, Con? I
wouldn't make this up!
OK, if you say so.
Look, you have to admit
..you've been a little
messed up lately.
What?
You want to do this now?
Con, you don't know
the half of it.
Well, then, just tell me.
Maybe it's just some
kids messing around.
No, no, Billy. It wasn't
just some kids, Billy.
I saw him, he had a weird
mask and he was right there!
OK.
So are we talking slasher,
or is it like some mad
pagan folk horror shit?
Shut the fuck up, Billy!
Look I believe
you, all right?
And if it was some fucking psycho,
we need to leave right now.
What? No!
No, no, no, no! We got to
stick to the plan, all right?
Remember, there's that
festival thingy on.
That was just locals
playing dress-up.
It's nothing to worry about.
I promise you, Zoe.
Fine. Whatever.
We'll just stick
to your plan, then.
But it's on you if someone
comes into the tent tonight
and slits our throats!
Fine by me.
I'll be dead anyway.
Great, well, at least both of
yous can agree on one thing -
not listening to me.
OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS
MENACING CHORAL SINGING
SHE WHIMPERS
SHE SCREAMS
SHE YELLS AND SCREAMS
DRILL WHIRS, SHE SCREAMS
Are you Mr Power?
Maureen!
Oh, Jesus.
Is this a
..bad news thing?
Well, that depends.
Right now, we're just looking
to speak to young Con.
Is he in?
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Oh, my heart.
Why did you take your hat off
with a big, depressed head on you?
What do you mean?
That's my face.
Look, I just need a word.
We've had a report about money being
stolen from the school Debs fund.
CON: You know, this place
looks like Camp Crystal Lake.
BILLY: Yeah, it does.
ZOE: Where's Camp Crystal Lake?
It's where Jason drowned.
Who's Jason?
Jesus, Zoe, have you ever
even seen a horror movie?
I've seen The Elephant
Man. Does that count?
No. No!
It's embarrassing.