Wednesday (2022) s01e02 Episode Script

1
This story
is about to take a dark turn.
Usually, I love dark turns.
Like when the carousel brakes
mysteriously failed
at my eighth birthday party.
But not this one.
We've been searching
for hours, Sheriff.
The dogs need a break.
Think we missed something?
I say we double back, sweep Collet Creek,
and then call it a night.
Okay.
- How could you miss a dead body?
- 'Cause it wasn't there.
No footprints, no blood,
no sign of a struggle. Nothing, nada.
My search party looked all night.
Well, your search party must have
left their seeing-eye dogs at home.
I saw that monster
kill Rowan right in front of me.
- Get a good look at this monster thing?
- It didn't stick around for a chat.
- Maybe it was one of your classmates.
- Sheriff, I find that question offensive.
I don't care, 'cause I got
three other dead bodies in the morgue.
- Hikers just ripped apart in the woods.
- The mayor said those were bear attacks.
Well, the mayor and I disagree on that.
So you automatically assume
a Nevermore student is the murderer,
even though there's no evidence
a crime was even committed.
I'm sorry. I forgot, you only teach
the good outcasts here, right?
My guess is Rowan ran away.
State troopers have put out an alert,
and I've contacted his family,
but they haven't heard from him either.
Dead people are notoriously bad
at returning calls.
What were you doing out in the woods
with him, Ms. Addams?
I heard a noise in the forest
and went to go investigate.
That's when I stumbled upon the attack.
Then what happened?
Then I ran into Bianca Barclay,
and I told her to go for help.
Next thing I remember,
I was awaking in my dorm.
And just to be clear, this monster
wasn't a bear or some other wild animal?
I've hibernated with grizzlies.
I know the difference.
Thank you, Sheriff.
I think Miss Addams is done now.
Actually, I would like
to speak to Sheriff Galpin. Alone.
I'm not sure I can allow that.
I'm sure I could take her to the station
and get a formal statement.
- Yeah, let's go.
- Fine.
You have five minutes,
and everything is off the record.
Play nice
or I will call the mayor.
Someone is trying to cover up
Rowan's murder.
That's the only reason
to scrub the crime scene.
Is that your professional opinion
as the daughter of a murderer?
My father's twice the man you are,
and the only thing he murders
is the occasional opera in the shower.
It's been a long night.
I'm tired of your games.
I'm not playing games.
I'm telling the truth.
You want to reject my claims
but you can't.
Why is that?
Because you and I both know
there's a monster out there.
And Rowan is his latest victim.
- Sheriff?
- What?
You're gonna want to see this.
Edgar Allan Poe said,
"Believe nothing you hear
and half of what you see."
Clearly Nevermore's most famous alumni
picked that up here.
No wonder he became a drug-addled madman.
Help me understand
why you claim you witnessed a murder.
Was it to gain attention?
Why should I bother telling you anything?
You've already decided I'm lying.
I know what I saw.
Your life's had
a lot of upheaval recently.
It's okay to be confused about things.
Don't try and lure me into
one of your psychological traps.
No one is trying to trap you.
I'm here to help you
process your emotions.
Emotions are a gateway trait.
They lead to feelings,
which trigger tears.
I don't do tears.
Tell me how you're adjusting to school.
Sartre said, "Hell is other people."
He was my first crush.
Wednesday, Part of the reason
your parents sent you to Nevermore
is so you could find your people.
Become part of a larger community.
I like being an island.
A well-fortified one surrounded by sharks.
Have you considered
your antisocial tendencies
might be motivated by fear of rejection?
If you were to reject me,
I would not be upset.
You can't get rid of me that easily.
And look, you made it through an entire
session without trying to escape.
I'll take that as a win.
Guess you decided
to stick around Jericho.
Wait, you see Dr. Kinbott too?
You should know
I'm legally required to be here.
Uh, me too. Court ordered.
Look at us. A couple of teenage tearaways.
Hey, when you ran off last night
at the Harvest Festival,
I wasn't sure what happened,
and then I heard
Kinda crazy.
Everyone, including your father,
believes I made it all up.
You know, I
Time to get in touch with my inner rebel.
You know, for the record,
I believe you.
Ladies, come on!
Let's work on those teeth.
More scowl.
This kitty is taking no prisoners.
If Bianca Barclay wins again this year,
I will literally scratch my own eyes out!
I would pay money to see that.
Howdy, roomie!
I'm so glad you decided to stay.
I thought you wanted
your single room back.
Full disclosure, I don't like living solo
and Thing gives a killer neck massage.
It's a win-win.
So why the change of heart?
I refuse to play the role of a pawn
in someone else's corrupt game.
- You mean Rowan?
- I witnessed his murder, Enid.
It's just, we all saw him this morning.
Very much, like, not dead.
I know.
Which leads me to believe
I've been losing my mind.
It's not nearly as fun
as I had anticipated.
You're Nevermore's gossip queen.
What's Rowan's story?
Other than being a weird loner Uh
- No offense.
- None taken.
Xavier Thorpe's his roommate.
If you had a cell phone,
you could just text him and ask him.
Yoko. Come on! Flare those whiskers.
The Poe Cup droops for no one.
What is the Poe Cup anyway?
My entire reason for living right now.
Part canoe race,
part foot chase, no rules.
Each dorm has to pick an Edgar Allan Poe
short story for inspiration.
You could grab a brush.
Ms. Thornhill's just ordered pizza.
Want to take a stab at being social?
I do like stabbing.
The social part, not so much.
Besides, it'll cut into my writing time.
No worries.
Just as long as you're lakeside
cheering us to victory on race day.
Or you can just glare uncomfortably.
Whatever works for you.
I've always hated the expression
"write what you know."
It's a hall pass
for the imagination-impaired.
But when your life
becomes a twisted mystery
maybe it's time to lean into it.
I need to speak with Rowan.
I can't find him.
It won't be possible, I'm afraid.
He's been expelled.
For what?
Never you mind. He'll be on
the first train out this afternoon.
What were you doing
out in the woods with him?
I told you already.
I heard a noise,
and I went to investigate.
That excuse might have placated
the sheriff, but you can't fool me.
You had a psychic vision, didn't you?
I realized you might be having them
when we passed by the accident
and you knew that poor farmer
had broken his neck.
Your mother started having visions
around your age.
They were notoriously unreliable
and dangerous.
I remember at first,
she thought she might be losing her mind.
Have you spoken to her about them?
Clearly the person
withholding information here is you.
May I go now?
Not until you've picked
your extracurricular activity.
We want our students to be well-rounded.
I'd prefer to remain sharp-edged.
I took the liberty of putting together
a list of clubs that have openings.
How thoughtful.
You need to have picked one
by the end of the day.
I'll be keeping my eye on you.
No doubt you'll find something
that tickles your fancy.
The last person who tickled me
lost a finger.
Weems is clearly trying
to keep tabs on me.
Keep an eye on Rowan.
Don't let your fingers out of his sight.
We got scales on scales on scales
On scales on scales on scales ♪
On scales on scales on scales ♪
Weems said you'd be stopping by.
But to be honest, after your performance
at the Harvest Festival,
drama club might be more your speed.
After I passed out, who did you tell?
The sheriff?
You think I'd trust normie cops?
I went straight to Weems
and let her handle it.
Anyway, let's get this audition over with.
What are you? Alto, soprano or just loco?
Huh?
What was that?
A note only dogs can hear.
Here's a little song I wrote ♪
You might want to sing it
Note for note ♪
Don't worry ♪
Be happy ♪
Huh. You actually showed up.
Ever shot a bow and arrow before?
Only on live targets.
Okay.
Square stance.
Load the arrow like this, yellow side out.
Three fingers.
Pull back and
let it fly.
Any questions?
When's the last time
you saw your roommate Rowan?
You mean the one
that was killed by a monster?
The Harvest Festival.
I haven't talked to him since.
But his side of the room
was all packed this morning.
Rowan's always been a little off,
but, uh, the last couple weeks
he's been more erratic.
You know, telekinesis can mess
with your head, you know. He's
It started to freak me out.
So what's the deal with you and Tyler?
I'm sorry, were you the only one
who got to ask non-archery questions?
There is no deal. He was doing me
a favor driving me out of town.
Yeah, word of advice. Steer clear.
Why? Because he's a normie?
Tyler and his friends are jerks.
They can't stand that this school's
propping up their Podunk town.
Says the boy whose life
was served on a silver platter.
Hey, girls in glass houses
Should throw bigger stones.
At least I'm not an elitist snob.
Ouch.
Are you interested
in the ancient art of beekeeping?
Eugene. Eugene Ottinger.
Founder and president
of the Nevermore Hummers.
Wednesday. Wednesday Addams.
Am I late or is it only you?
The hive life isn't for everyone.
Most kids are afraid of venomous insects.
Are you willing to feel the sting?
Bees have been producing honey
in the same way for 150 million years.
They're nature's perfect community.
All working together
to achieve a common goal.
Fun fact, it's also one of the few
ecosystems in which females dominate.
From the queen bee to her workers.
There's no patriarchy in the hive!
Rowan! We need to talk.
Wednesday, I'm not allowed
to speak to anyone.
You had a lot to say
when you tried to kill me.
Told me I was destined
to destroy the school, remember?
Where did you get that drawing?
I just went into the woods
to clear my head.
Then you came after me.
Wednesday.
You shouldn't be here.
Yeah, back off and leave me alone.
I'm going to give you
all the materials again
How do you lose him
in a bathroom with no windows?
A lefty wouldn't have failed me.
Don't sulk.
I'm going to have to find
new evidence myself,
since you lost our only lead.
I see you finally made a friend.
Even if it is a plant.
I go for quality over quantity.
There's an open spot next to me.
If you can stand sitting
that close to an elitist snob.
I doubt Wednesday is impressed
by your tricks, Mr. Thorpe.
Admit it, you're a little impressed.
Wednesday, we're thrilled
to have you join us
on our journey into
the world of carnivorous plants.
Now
who can tell us the name of this beauty?
Dendrophylax lindenii.
Otherwise known as the ghost orchid.
First discovered
on the Isle of Wight in 1854.
Very good, Wednesday.
You may have competition
for first chair, Bianca.
Ooh!
Wednesday, perhaps you can identify
the ghost orchid's greatest qualities.
Resilience and adaptability.
It's able to thrive in even
the most hostile environments.
But its mere presence
can change the ecosystem,
causing the established plants
to reject it.
Usually because the native species
is allowed to thrive unchecked.
Nothing a Weedwackercouldn't fix.
- You can most certainly try.
- Are we still talking about flowers?
Thank you, ladies,
for those illuminating insights.
Clearly the plants
aren't the only carnivores in class today.
Good boy.
Watch your butt. Watch your butt.
- Hey. Where you going with Elvis?
- Just, uh
following a lead on a case.
You still believe
there's a creature out there, don't you?
I heard you and Santiago talking.
You think it's a Nevermore kid?
Ran into your shrink.
She was kind of tight-lipped
about your progress.
It's called doctor-patient
confidentiality.
How about father-son confidentiality?
What are you two yakking about?
Video games, cancel culture,
oat milk versus soy, it's a wild time.
- I pay the bills, I got a right to ask.
- We talk about Mom.
Remember her?
Better not be talking crap
about your old man.
I'll be home late.
You're on your own for dinner.
Oh, damn.
I I was hoping we could fire up the grill
and then catch the big game.
Love these warm, fuzzy memories
we're making, Dad.
I have to get back to the woods,
but Weems has been watching me
like a vulture circling a carcass.
And you want me to cover
so that you can return to the scene
of a crime that didn't happen?
I have beekeeping club this afternoon.
I need you as decoy.
Sorry. Two strikes.
I'm busy and bees totally creep me out.
Why don't you ask Thing?
Wait, you can't because he's mad at you.
Why's he mad? He's the one who screwed up.
All I know is that we spent an hour giving
each other manis, and he really opened up.
He feels like
you don't respect him as a person.
Technically, he's only a hand.
Wednesday! He's your family.
And he would do anything for you.
Go apologize
and I'll reconsider helping you.
I snapped at you.
I'll check my tone in the future.
Now chop-chop,
before all our leads turn cold.
What is it that you want?
Hand cream? Nail buffer?
New cuticle scissors?
Consider it done.
I know I'm stubborn,
single-minded and obsessive.
But those are all traits of great writers.
Yes. And serial killers.
What's your point?
I have nothing to get off my chest,
and I am not submitting
to your emotional blackmail.
Fine.
When Rowan showed me this,
it confirmed my greatest fear.
That I'm going to be responsible
for something terrible.
Not good terrible, like Ivan.
Bad terrible.
And I can't let that happen.
That's why I need to find out the truth.
Breathe a word of this to anyone
and I will end you.
If Weems comes sniffing around,
keep your distance,
look grim, and don't say a word.
- Payback is going to be a bitch.
- I'd expect nothing less.
Blab and I will squeeze you
like a honeycomb.
Snitches get stung.
It's hive code.
Besides, I should be thanking you.
This is the most girls
I've ever had in the shed.
Other than bees.
Shocking.
I've always had a thing
for werewolf chicks.
The chance that Enid ever becomes
romantically interested in you
is less than 1%.
So I've still got a shot?
Yes!
In ancient times, honey was used to treat
wounds and in sacrificial burial rites.
Cleopatra was rumored to bathe in honey.
Gave her skin a luminous glow.
You ever taken a honey bath?
I just don't wanna get stung.
The key is to remain calm.
Bees detect fear,
but you don't need to worry.
Because I have a very big smoker,
and I handle it like a pro.
Would you like to see it?
Sorry. I didn't want Elvis
to pick up on your scent.
Thanks. How'd you throw them off?
Uh
Coffee grounds?
Deer-hunting hack.
One of the perks
of being a part-time barista.
I assume your father didn't bring
the bloodhound to play fetch.
He doesn't tell me shit.
You must think
it's weird I'm stalking him.
No, I consistently stalk my parents.
Hey, wait, what really happened
the other night at the festival?
Look, I swear I won't say
anything to my dad.
I thought Rowan was in danger.
Turns out I was wrong.
Then he proceeded to use his telekinesis
to try and choke me to death.
Holy shit. Wh Why would he do that?
No idea. That's when this monster
came out of the shadows and gutted him.
Whoa. Whoa.
So So you really saw it?
And it didn't try to kill you?
It actually saved me from Rowan.
That's the part I'm trying to figure out.
I came here to find something
that can prove he was murdered
and that I haven't lost my mind.
Yet.
These are Rowan's.
I knew it was a cover-up.
What are you talking about?
- So much of my
- my new desk, you psychopath!
- Speaking of that
- You creep people out!
- You know
- Unbelievable.
I did.
You're crazy!
You okay?
I keep seeing
that same purple book.
The cover was darker.
More like a day-old contusion.
Keep looking.
I don't usually find students in here
looking for actual books.
Most sneak in to make out.
I accidentally walked in
on two vampires fanging.
I can't unsee that.
Is there something I can help you find?
Have you seen this before?
It's a watermark
from a book I'm looking for.
I think it's the symbol
to an old student society. Um
The Nightshades.
Like the deadly flower.
Color me intrigued.
I was told they disbanded years ago.
Any idea why?
Sorry.
I was very impressed
with your answers in class today.
My mother is
a carnivorous plant aficionado.
I assume I get my red thumb from her.
Are you and your mother close?
Like two inmates sentenced to life
on the same cell block.
I know it can't be easy
showing up mid-semester.
I've been here a year and a half,
and I still feel like an outsider.
Because you're the only normie
on the staff?
Enid told me.
To tell you the truth,
I've never really fit in anywhere.
Too odd for the normies,
not odd enough for the outcasts.
I thought Nevermore would be different,
but there's still a handful of teachers
who will barely acknowledge me.
I act as if I don't care
if people dislike me.
Deep down
I secretly enjoy it.
- Never lose that, Wednesday.
- Lose what?
The ability
to not let others define you.
It's a gift.
Doesn't always feel that way.
The most interesting plants
grow in the shade.
And if you ever need anyone to talk to,
the door to the conservatory
is always open.
That purple book has got to be
around here somewhere.
Start investigating.
Rowan's full of surprises.
You're not supposed to be up here.
Good to see you too.
How'd you get past the Housemaster?
Use your siren powers?
Not while wearing this.
Would it kill you
to not think the worst of me for once?
- What do you want, Bianca?
- To see how you're doing.
I'm sorry about Rowan.
I know you guys used to be close.
Since when did you
give a damn about Rowan?
You were the one afraid
he'd do something to Wednesday.
Isn't that why you've been following her
like an eager-eyed puppy?
Or is there something more?
Seriously, what do you see in her?
You have a thing for a tragic goth girls
with funeral-parlor fashion sense?
Maybe it's because
she hasn't tried to manipulate me.
I make one mistake,
and you can't forgive me.
She treats you like crap,
you can't get enough.
Why are you fixated on Wednesday?
Because she thinks
she's better than everyone else.
I can't wait
to crush Ophelia Hall tomorrow
and watch her werewolf roommate crumble.
It's gonna be
a Poe Cup finale to remember.
- I hate to think what you've got planned.
- My game's already started.
I like to win.
Is that so wrong?
And you wonder why I broke up with you.
You used to love my killer instinct.
We were good together, Xavier.
Were we?
Is that just how you wanted me to feel?
Trust me, Wednesday Addams
is not the girl of your dreams.
She's the stuff of your nightmares.
Where have you been?
I'm literally having
a heart attack right now.
- Yoko's in the infirmary!
- What happened?
Garlic bread incident at dinner.
She had a major allergic reaction.
She's out of the Poe Cup.
I don't have a co-pilot.
It wasn't an accident. Bianca's behind it.
- How do you know?
- Doesn't matter.
You and I are going to
take her down tomorrow.
Wait. You're joining the Black Cats?
You're willing to do that?
For me?
I want to humiliate Bianca so badly
that the bitter taste of defeat
burns in her throat.
Yeah, but mostly you're doing it
because we're friends, right?
Tell me how she keeps winning.
It's a real brain cramp.
The past two years, no other boat has
made it across and back without sinking.
Sounds like sabotage.
There are no rules in the Poe Cup,
and she is a siren,
which makes her master of the water.
Then we just need
to beat her at her own game.
- We're all set.
- Good. Thing's in position.
- Wanna tell me what you two were up to?
- And spoil the surprise?
Speaking of surprises,
your costume's in the tent.
Costume?
OMG, you look purr-fect!
Only thing, where are your whiskers?
Ask again,
and you'll be down to eight lives.
Focus.
What do we have here?
The runt of the litter.
For the record, I don't believe
I'm better than everyone else.
Just that I'm better than you.
I want to welcome you all
to the Edgar Allan Poe Cup.
This is one of Nevermore's
proudest annual traditions,
dating back 125 years.
Each team must row across to Raven Island,
pull a flag from Crackstone's Crypt,
and hustle back
without sinking or being sunk.
First team to cross the finish line
with their flag
wins the cup
and bragging rights for a year,
as well as some special privileges.
Let the Poe Cup begin!
Go! Go! Go!
- Move. Faster!
- Come on, ladies. Let's go!
Oh, excuse us!
Stroke! Stroke! Stroke!
- Come on! Go!
- Come on!
- Turn! Turn!
- Turn!
Come on, man. We lost 'cause of you.
Faster!
Thing.
Let's go. It's over here.
Stay here and make sure
Bianca can't sabotage our boat.
Thing, I need you to distract
a couple of jokers.
- What?
- Come on.
- Go.
- Let's get it.
Let's go, man.
She's right there.
Come on.
Later, Wednesday!
You are the key.
Taking a catnap?
- Come on!
- Hurry up, we have to go!
What's going on?
See ya, jokers!
Cheaters!
I just asked myself, "WWWD?"
What Would Wednesday Do?
The final two teams are the Gold Bugs
and the Black Cats.
Come on.
Gotcha!
Whoo!
Yeah, we did it!
OMG, Wednesday, we did it!
This is the greatest moment
of my entire life.
Admit it, you kinda got into
the whole school spirit thing.
You didn't tell me
it was a dark, vengeful spirit.
The first Poe Cup took place in 1897
as a way to not only honor
Nevermore's most famous alumni,
but to celebrate those values
that all outcasts share.
Community, perseverance,
and determination.
And we certainly saw those values
on display today.
Yeah!
Whoo!
Yeah!
Congratulations to Ophelia Hall!
As a former resident,
I will be happy to see the cup
back on the mantle after all these years.
What are you doing down here?
Hiding.
People keep randomly smiling at me,
it's unsettling.
It's called having your moment.
You took down Bianca Barclay.
Try to enjoy it.
The girls wanna know
if you wanna hang out later.
Oh, come on, it won't kill you.
I'll think about it.
Yes!
It's good to see you fitting in.
Just like your mother.
My mother and I are two different
people/species/everything.
The last time
Ophelia Hall won the Poe Cup,
your mother captained the team.
I was her co-pilot.
Maybe you two
are more alike than you think.
I'm so excited.
It was your job to help us win.
She's never lost. Never.
Nevermore continues to be an enigma.
A place where the questions
far outweigh the answers.
But sometimes
the answer is staring you
right in the face.
Don't worry, Edgar Allan.
I see your sanctimonious smirk.
But I will get the last laugh.
Your penchant for riddles was legendary.
And this might be your cleverest yet.
Because it's not a single riddle.
Rather, each line is its own separate one.
"The opposite of moon." Sun.
"A world between ours." Nether.
"Two months before June." April.
"A self-seeding flower." Pansy.
"One more than one." Two.
"Its leaves weep to the ground." Willow.
"It melts in the sun." Ice.
"Its beginning and end never found."
Circle.
"Every rule has one." Exception.
"The answer will give
a sharp cracking sound."
Secret societies.
Hidden libraries.
My mother staring at me
in a judgmental way.
These are all things I've come to expect.
But the minute I inch towards the truth
Luckily, I'm not afraid of the dark.