What Would Diplo Do? (2017) s01e02 Episode Script
The Cult
1 Producer, deejay, and global superstar Diplo has been ruling the electronic landscape since the explosive success of the worldwide hit "Lean On.
" It is this Noisey reporter's profound and supreme privilege to witness the gestation and pregnancy and birth of a number 1 hit song.
The weather is an uncharacteristically cold - Hell no! - 68 degrees.
Dude, what's with the [bleep.]
camera?! Uh, uh, uh, I'm with the Noisey crew.
We specifically said no cameras! It's a visual documentary.
Noisey [Mockingly.]
"It's a visual documentary!" Dude, [bleep.]
your documentary! And [bleep.]
you! And [bleep.]
your glasses! Why are they so small?! Why is your face so tiny?! Just [bleep.]
.
Just fricking come on in, man.
I'm just kidding.
[bleep.]
you.
Come on.
Let's go.
Just [bleep.]
come on in.
It's all good.
Don't worry.
Come on in! We've been invited inside.
We're now going to go inside.
Okay, tour venues are booked.
Crew is locked down.
Merch is ready to go.
Hotels and jets have been booked.
Lot of great media outlets ready to bite.
All we need now is a hit.
- Morning.
- What's up? - Kroner: Good morning.
- What's up? What's up? Hey, where's the coffee at? Oh shit.
[Laughs.]
[German accent.]
Hello.
My name is Jürgen, and I provide statistical analysis and logistical support for Team Diplo.
Earnest: Why do they call you "Kroner"? Oh.
Yes.
Um, it means "money.
" But isn't that Norwegian? - I thought you were German.
- Oh, yes.
You're very smart.
I actually pointed that out to Wes when he coined the phrase, but, um, I just left it.
It's better than the last nickname that I had.
And what was that? I'd rather not say.
Hi.
I'm Karen.
I'm Diplo's assistant, so, basically, I keep his life on the rails.
He's really kind of genius musically and, um yeah.
He might be the dumbest human being I know.
[Grunting.]
[Farts, exhales.]
Did you hear how small that was? It sounded like Stuart Little farted.
[Laughs.]
Except for maybe Jasper.
But it's damn close.
Earnest: And what do you do? I'm his manager.
[Chuckles.]
All right.
So, what do what do we need? A hit, dude.
Number 1 would be nice.
Feed the beast.
Okay.
Dude, it's no problem.
My boy shits hits.
- Uh, any cool demos come in? - Kroner: Ah.
Yes.
In Australia, which, as we know, is a very quick market, this particular song has been trending number 1 on Spotify for four months.
It is climbing in the UK, and I predict, in the next three months, it will take Europe by storm.
It's upbeat, emotional undertones, 128 beats per minute.
Yo, you you you learn how to have sex from a book? [German accent.]
"Thrust your hips in and out, in and out, in and out, until you hear moans, and then you can" [Chuckles.]
Rig - Brian: He's just joking, man.
Oh, come on.
- Yo, yo, I'm just kidding.
- No, no, keep going.
- No, it was a very funny joke.
I swear, I wasn't, like I was just joking.
Yo, just keep going.
Kroner! Kroner: No, it's okay.
I'm fine.
Jasper: Yeah, dude [bleep.]
books! Don't trust books, man! All right, check his e-mail.
Did Bieber send a demo yet? Yeah, he did.
- He did? - Mm-hmm.
Sweet.
Get me Skrillex.
Yo, yo, yo, why Um, Karen, why why are there, like, cameras and people and shit in my house? It's the Noisey episode.
- The what? - The Noisey crew.
Oh, they're shooting one today? - That was today? - Yeah, it's today.
That's the the the interviewer guy is so whack.
Can we just make a concerted effort not to, like, offend everybody that comes through the door today? Did they send a dude with, like, some stupid hipster beard - and, like, glasses and? - Oh, yeah.
If he just had a beanie on, it would complete the look of how bad of a person Yo, what's wrong with a beanie? Says the guy in a head-to-toe YouTube swag bag reject sweatsuit.
Yeah, dude! This is the sickest [bleep.]
jacket! And I got pants, too! It says "YouTube" on my ass.
I was going to give it to Goodwill.
Dude, I am your Goodwill.
That's true.
I'm sorry.
I just want to say that I I had never been with someone before, and I was very nervous because I met someone that I cared about very much, and I didn't want to learn in the process and have bad experiences early, and so, yes, I-I got a book from the library, and I read it because I wanted to be informed, and so that so, yes, I learned from a book.
Hey.
Let's get to work! Rock musician turned dubstep megastar Sonny "Skrillex" Moore is the other half of the Diplo collaboration Jack U and one of his closest friends.
- Hey, guys! - Whoa! - Kroner, get in here.
- Oh, okay.
- Get in here, man.
- Ah, yes.
- You smell great! - Thank you.
Karen, how are you? Good.
Did your mom get that Christmas gift early? Yeah.
She loved it.
Come here.
Come on.
My favorite hugger.
Jasper, what's up? [Grunts.]
Oh, my God.
[Laughs.]
What's up, man? Nothing, man.
- Yo.
- Oh.
- Did you listen to it? - Yeah, dude.
It resonated with me emotionally, man.
I-It's like an earworm, right? I could listen to it all day.
You know, I already started working on it.
Great.
Let's go crush it.
Come on.
Okay, so, I bounced the track, and then I rebounced it through bitcrush.
[High-pitched notes play.]
That's fun, right? What the [bleep.]
is that? Wh what what do you what do you mean? [Scoffs.]
I mean, you're joking, right? - I mean, what what what is that? - [High-pitched notes play.]
Is that a dolphin getting a blowjob? I-It's just a start.
I mean, I figured, you know, we can kind of go from there.
Who's going to dance to this? What It's a process.
- It's useless.
- Okay, come on.
You're now you're being derogatory, okay? - Our therapist said - No, we're not at therapy.
We're at work.
All right? We got work to do.
Yeah, and I'm trying, but this hostility isn't really conducive to a creative environment.
Hostile? Wow! Hostile? I'll show you hostile if you try to pass this off [High-pitched notes play.]
as something that people are going to dance to.
This isn't healthy.
[Groans.]
Fart.
No.
No, no.
You can't do that.
You can't just, like, play the victim every time I have an opinion, 'cause that doesn't give me space for my input.
How am I supposed to move forward if you can't acknowledge my feelings? Can you guys, um, get out, please? Just just I need we need we need a minute.
[Muffled.]
I no, I've been the one trying to make - They're still in there.
- I went to therapy with you! - [Thudding, shattering.]
- There's been a lot of screaming, some glass breaking.
I'm hoping that, once things wrap up, maybe we can chill or something cool.
They kicked you out of that metal band you're playing in.
Skrillex: [Muffled.]
The key to making hits Yeah, I can't really make out what's happening over the - Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, what happened in there? I think we covered some good ground.
Thanks for asking.
Should we follow him? So, how do you feel after that fight? What? Fight? Oh, that's dude, that's just how we exchange ideas.
You know, I thought that was a really productive session, honestly.
Like, I don't know.
It's like the passion that flows between us that, like, really defines our collaborations, you know? Hey, have a great day, man.
Thanks Skrillex.
Hey, no.
Hey, thank you.
Skrillex is getting in his environmentally friendly car right now, - and he's going to probably drive away.
- Yeah.
[Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
I don't know what any of them do, really.
I always this this this is the play button.
That's my favorite button.
I press that one.
[Air horn blows.]
It's a very interesting music process they have going on.
Um, but where's Brian? Oh, he's off tending to his other empire.
What does that empire entail? I try not to ask too many questions.
Yo.
We need new sounds.
That's what it is.
We need new like, all these sounds, I mean, like the like, the guitars, like, synthesizers and dolphins, like, I've heard them all before.
We need something that nobody has heard before, something like a sound that nobody would even think to, like, put in put Karen, get me a bunch of kids.
Any particular ages? Just, like, a bunch of different ages, little kids that look like me.
All right.
Well, Diplo has decreed that, in order to truly break new ground, we have to approach music with the innocence of a child.
So we've got a bunch of kids playing instruments.
[Clanking, banging, off-key notes.]
I don't know.
It's still too it feels calculated.
You know what I mean? I need something that captures the blind innocence Karen! Get me a bunch of blindfolds! So, a lot of what a deejay does is a mashing of different sounds and noises a blending, if you will, of the diff That's it.
[Door opens.]
I I don't know.
I need, like, a I need, like, a more futuristic sound.
Anybody got a LaserDisc? Why don't you just put a violin in there? What's the best kind of violin? Oh, the Stradivarius.
It's known as the best-sounding violin in the world.
- Get me one of those.
- Yes.
For the purposes of? History.
Okay.
Um, I'm going to go cry.
Who even cares about violins, anyways? People who love music and, um Yeah, stupid people.
care about history.
I'm going to play video games.
Who are you? Who's this guy? Oh, that's the [bleep.]
douchebag from, uh, Noisey.
He sucks.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
You want to be in my vlogs? Hey, look at this stupid piece of shit, all my fans! Ho ho! Idiot! Check out this cool toaster, though.
Diplo just got it.
[Whispering.]
I put my balls in it.
Karen, don't tell him.
[Laughs.]
Of course it wasn't a Stradi [bleep.]
varius! I got it from a 4th grader on eBay for 40 bucks.
He's such a dipshit.
I have him in my phone as "Little [bleep.]
.
" See? [Laughs.]
Diplo has been holed away in the studio for the last seven days, asking only for food and the occasional woman.
[Sighs.]
Many great artists experience writer's block.
It's not uncommon.
Also, there is a a deadline fast approaching, but, um, but this is the life I've chosen.
[Chuckles.]
This is why I said, "No, Father, I don't want to make hard drives.
" [Chuckles.]
"I have done everything you have asked of me in life, but I'm 29 now.
And how could you have known that it was Mother's dying wish for me to make Festplatte? S-She died in a plane crash.
You were not there.
" So it feels like a lie to me, Father.
It feels like a lie that you are telling.
" [Laughs.]
Sorry.
So, I came to California.
Earnest: What does he think about what you're doing now? Oh, we don't speak.
Uh, so, how how did you meet Diplo, again? Um, okay.
Uh, we were in middle school, middle school, yeah.
He was my best friend in middle school.
Uh, yeah, my only friend in middle school, but, uh, I got friends now, so like, I think.
Diplo's my friend now, so that's [bleep.]
cool.
I am getting a little bit worried.
I just don't know how productive he can be by himself alone in that room.
He's been up there for how long? Earnest: Seven days.
Oh, no.
[bleep.]
that shit.
Remain calm.
I got this.
Relax, guys.
I will break down this [bleep.]
door! I will cut off your credit cards and freeze your assets! It's now 3:00 A.
M.
After asking for 30 minutes six times, Brian has run out of patience.
I will donate your shoes to Goodwill.
What do you think about that?! Diplo: [Muffled.]
I just need half an hour.
Hey, man, I know your Snapchat password.
Want the whole world to see those DMs, huh?! What the [bleep.]
? All right.
So so so listen.
Just the answer has been in front of us the whole time.
We just never made the connections.
So so, like, my my chart my chart is a Scorpio, right, by eight degrees.
Check this out.
Numerical value for music in Hebrew is 332.
That's 3 plus 3 is 6, plus 2 is 8.
That's two 8s.
Two 8s.
And what do we want? We want a number 1 hit.
Two 8s, a 2, and a 1 1, 2, 8.
128 beats per minute.
[Imitates explosion.]
That's what the song needs to be.
Okay.
Okay.
That is what I said! That's what I said, and then you you made fun of me for for for for learning intercourse from a book.
I apologize.
So where's the song? Is it done? Um - Not yet.
- Not yet?! You've been here for seven days, and there's no song?! What have you been doing for seven days?! Pissing into jars?! You animal! - Look, it's it's fine.
- There's a bathroom right there! It's fine 'cause 'cause I'm, like, I'm right there.
What does this say? "I think, therefore I am.
" - "I love potatoes.
" - No, no, no! Don't don't don't do that! - What? - Dude, dude! This one says, "Don't touch me there, Grandpa.
" What have you been doing?! I just need a half-hour.
Just give me a half-hour more, and I got it.
Yeah, so, see, the mistake I made was thinking that the answer was in my head.
It's not up there.
It's not there.
The answer is in all of us.
Karen: I mean, I wouldn't really say that we were in a cult, but I wouldn't say that we weren't.
[Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
Art is like an expression of what you're feeling or what you're going through or, like, trying to find a deeper truth.
So it's kind of subjective, so you can't really judge it.
Except some art sucks.
[Air horn blows.]
No, it's not a cult, 'cause in a cult, you can't leave.
And And this, this is this, like, it's more of everyone just wanting to stay in.
And I hope to God or to to Diplo, more importantly, that he keeps me here forever, you know? I'm I'm just aligning my chakras, bro.
My chak and my brah.
[Sighs.]
I can honestly say that I've never been happier.
We're eating only organic, locally grown food, and we have cut ourselves off from all the distractions of the outside world.
We focus all of our energy on asking, "How can we serve the group?" [Voice breaking.]
My name is Sunflower now.
That's why I have one.
I bought it at a Trader Joe's.
I've been doing some reading, and what I learned is is that this whole idea of individuality, that's a bunch of bullshit.
We're not separate.
We're all one.
I told him to read a book about cult hits.
Earnest: And who is Jamar? I heard him talking to a Jamar.
There is no Jamar.
You cut that out.
There's no Jamar.
Diplo: I'm not asking you to destroy your ego.
I would never do that.
I'm giving you permission to surrender your ego.
Watch it float down the river of your thoughts like a little piece of poop.
Earnest: If we're all one, wouldn't that mean that your enlightenment is also mine? Listen to how many times you just said "I" in that sentence.
I I don't think I did.
Three times.
Three times you just said it.
Y-Yeah, but that was Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Stones only skip on a placid lake, bro.
Time has run out, and you're still here.
Guys we're ready to go back inside.
- Sunflower.
- [Crying.]
Yes, master.
I feel you drifting.
Sorry.
Emotions.
I will stuff them down.
[Mid-tempo electronic music plays.]
[U-tempo electronic music plays.]
[Sighs.]
Again.
[Music stops.]
I don't know what else there is to try.
Then begone.
It's still not working.
What what what else do I do I need to prove to you? What else do I need to do to prove the insignificance of your doubt? What are we? - Both: We are one.
- Are we? - All: We are one.
- Because because not everybody's there.
How long does it take to get around the world? Sunflower.
Um, 36 hours through Singapore, but there are Doesn't [bleep.]
matter! You know why? Because there's something that gets around the world faster than the speed of light.
A song.
A song keeps going, going, and going.
It's infinite.
Anybody in here messed up enough to think that they are stronger than an earthquake, more powerful than a hurricane? I survived a hurricane in a Dumpster once.
Who are we to stand in the way of a tsunami that's going to hose down the whole world with love? Who are we to cock block the infinite?! [Voice breaking.]
It's me! I can't let go.
I have doubts.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Recognition recognition is not a weakness, okay? I'm just going to take you away from the group for a little bit, okay? I want to let go.
- Then let go.
- I want to let go.
- Then let go.
- I want to let go! Then let go! I'll sacrifice myself! [Screams.]
Wait a minute! Hold on! [High-pitched notes play.]
That's it! That's it! That was it! - We did it! - What? We did it! That's that that's it! We did it! [Laughter.]
Put down the knife! Put down the knife! I knew I could do it! I knew I could do it! You guys were there.
You saw it.
God, I am hungry.
I could Oh, I need a fucking burger.
- Jasper: Dude, I'll call some girls over.
- Let's do it.
Can I just get my phone, and, um, I'll Postmates that.
Does anybody else want anything? Diplo: All right.
Let's get out of this room.
- This room stinks.
- We are one! We are one! Wes, no.
No, but no.
I No! [Crying.]
What have we been doing for weeks?! I don't understand! Was it just for the song?! I don't understand! I don't understand! There's still a rat in the room somewhere! [Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
If you were gonna make a bet with your friend that, like, you can burn your tires in your backyard and the police aren't gonna care, they do care.
Like a lot.
[Air horn blows.]
Earnest: So, after all that you went through, was it disheartening that the answer was just pure coincidence? Was it? I mean, if I hadn't left all that food lying around, if Karen hadn't gone through what she went through and hadn't pulled that knife at that exact moment, that rat would have never revealed what the universe wanted us to hear.
You can call it coincidence.
I call it cause and effect.
I'm pretty sure that was the exact same riff I showed him earlier when we first sat down, but, you know, he had to come to that conclusion himself, and that's fine with me.
Whatever.
Hey, all that matters in the end is that the song is great.
He might be the dumbest human on the planet.
Check this out.
How about this for aligning chakras? Watch out! Here comes a revelation! Where are you now that I need you? I need you the most I need you
" It is this Noisey reporter's profound and supreme privilege to witness the gestation and pregnancy and birth of a number 1 hit song.
The weather is an uncharacteristically cold - Hell no! - 68 degrees.
Dude, what's with the [bleep.]
camera?! Uh, uh, uh, I'm with the Noisey crew.
We specifically said no cameras! It's a visual documentary.
Noisey [Mockingly.]
"It's a visual documentary!" Dude, [bleep.]
your documentary! And [bleep.]
you! And [bleep.]
your glasses! Why are they so small?! Why is your face so tiny?! Just [bleep.]
.
Just fricking come on in, man.
I'm just kidding.
[bleep.]
you.
Come on.
Let's go.
Just [bleep.]
come on in.
It's all good.
Don't worry.
Come on in! We've been invited inside.
We're now going to go inside.
Okay, tour venues are booked.
Crew is locked down.
Merch is ready to go.
Hotels and jets have been booked.
Lot of great media outlets ready to bite.
All we need now is a hit.
- Morning.
- What's up? - Kroner: Good morning.
- What's up? What's up? Hey, where's the coffee at? Oh shit.
[Laughs.]
[German accent.]
Hello.
My name is Jürgen, and I provide statistical analysis and logistical support for Team Diplo.
Earnest: Why do they call you "Kroner"? Oh.
Yes.
Um, it means "money.
" But isn't that Norwegian? - I thought you were German.
- Oh, yes.
You're very smart.
I actually pointed that out to Wes when he coined the phrase, but, um, I just left it.
It's better than the last nickname that I had.
And what was that? I'd rather not say.
Hi.
I'm Karen.
I'm Diplo's assistant, so, basically, I keep his life on the rails.
He's really kind of genius musically and, um yeah.
He might be the dumbest human being I know.
[Grunting.]
[Farts, exhales.]
Did you hear how small that was? It sounded like Stuart Little farted.
[Laughs.]
Except for maybe Jasper.
But it's damn close.
Earnest: And what do you do? I'm his manager.
[Chuckles.]
All right.
So, what do what do we need? A hit, dude.
Number 1 would be nice.
Feed the beast.
Okay.
Dude, it's no problem.
My boy shits hits.
- Uh, any cool demos come in? - Kroner: Ah.
Yes.
In Australia, which, as we know, is a very quick market, this particular song has been trending number 1 on Spotify for four months.
It is climbing in the UK, and I predict, in the next three months, it will take Europe by storm.
It's upbeat, emotional undertones, 128 beats per minute.
Yo, you you you learn how to have sex from a book? [German accent.]
"Thrust your hips in and out, in and out, in and out, until you hear moans, and then you can" [Chuckles.]
Rig - Brian: He's just joking, man.
Oh, come on.
- Yo, yo, I'm just kidding.
- No, no, keep going.
- No, it was a very funny joke.
I swear, I wasn't, like I was just joking.
Yo, just keep going.
Kroner! Kroner: No, it's okay.
I'm fine.
Jasper: Yeah, dude [bleep.]
books! Don't trust books, man! All right, check his e-mail.
Did Bieber send a demo yet? Yeah, he did.
- He did? - Mm-hmm.
Sweet.
Get me Skrillex.
Yo, yo, yo, why Um, Karen, why why are there, like, cameras and people and shit in my house? It's the Noisey episode.
- The what? - The Noisey crew.
Oh, they're shooting one today? - That was today? - Yeah, it's today.
That's the the the interviewer guy is so whack.
Can we just make a concerted effort not to, like, offend everybody that comes through the door today? Did they send a dude with, like, some stupid hipster beard - and, like, glasses and? - Oh, yeah.
If he just had a beanie on, it would complete the look of how bad of a person Yo, what's wrong with a beanie? Says the guy in a head-to-toe YouTube swag bag reject sweatsuit.
Yeah, dude! This is the sickest [bleep.]
jacket! And I got pants, too! It says "YouTube" on my ass.
I was going to give it to Goodwill.
Dude, I am your Goodwill.
That's true.
I'm sorry.
I just want to say that I I had never been with someone before, and I was very nervous because I met someone that I cared about very much, and I didn't want to learn in the process and have bad experiences early, and so, yes, I-I got a book from the library, and I read it because I wanted to be informed, and so that so, yes, I learned from a book.
Hey.
Let's get to work! Rock musician turned dubstep megastar Sonny "Skrillex" Moore is the other half of the Diplo collaboration Jack U and one of his closest friends.
- Hey, guys! - Whoa! - Kroner, get in here.
- Oh, okay.
- Get in here, man.
- Ah, yes.
- You smell great! - Thank you.
Karen, how are you? Good.
Did your mom get that Christmas gift early? Yeah.
She loved it.
Come here.
Come on.
My favorite hugger.
Jasper, what's up? [Grunts.]
Oh, my God.
[Laughs.]
What's up, man? Nothing, man.
- Yo.
- Oh.
- Did you listen to it? - Yeah, dude.
It resonated with me emotionally, man.
I-It's like an earworm, right? I could listen to it all day.
You know, I already started working on it.
Great.
Let's go crush it.
Come on.
Okay, so, I bounced the track, and then I rebounced it through bitcrush.
[High-pitched notes play.]
That's fun, right? What the [bleep.]
is that? Wh what what do you what do you mean? [Scoffs.]
I mean, you're joking, right? - I mean, what what what is that? - [High-pitched notes play.]
Is that a dolphin getting a blowjob? I-It's just a start.
I mean, I figured, you know, we can kind of go from there.
Who's going to dance to this? What It's a process.
- It's useless.
- Okay, come on.
You're now you're being derogatory, okay? - Our therapist said - No, we're not at therapy.
We're at work.
All right? We got work to do.
Yeah, and I'm trying, but this hostility isn't really conducive to a creative environment.
Hostile? Wow! Hostile? I'll show you hostile if you try to pass this off [High-pitched notes play.]
as something that people are going to dance to.
This isn't healthy.
[Groans.]
Fart.
No.
No, no.
You can't do that.
You can't just, like, play the victim every time I have an opinion, 'cause that doesn't give me space for my input.
How am I supposed to move forward if you can't acknowledge my feelings? Can you guys, um, get out, please? Just just I need we need we need a minute.
[Muffled.]
I no, I've been the one trying to make - They're still in there.
- I went to therapy with you! - [Thudding, shattering.]
- There's been a lot of screaming, some glass breaking.
I'm hoping that, once things wrap up, maybe we can chill or something cool.
They kicked you out of that metal band you're playing in.
Skrillex: [Muffled.]
The key to making hits Yeah, I can't really make out what's happening over the - Hey.
- Hey.
Uh, what happened in there? I think we covered some good ground.
Thanks for asking.
Should we follow him? So, how do you feel after that fight? What? Fight? Oh, that's dude, that's just how we exchange ideas.
You know, I thought that was a really productive session, honestly.
Like, I don't know.
It's like the passion that flows between us that, like, really defines our collaborations, you know? Hey, have a great day, man.
Thanks Skrillex.
Hey, no.
Hey, thank you.
Skrillex is getting in his environmentally friendly car right now, - and he's going to probably drive away.
- Yeah.
[Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
I don't know what any of them do, really.
I always this this this is the play button.
That's my favorite button.
I press that one.
[Air horn blows.]
It's a very interesting music process they have going on.
Um, but where's Brian? Oh, he's off tending to his other empire.
What does that empire entail? I try not to ask too many questions.
Yo.
We need new sounds.
That's what it is.
We need new like, all these sounds, I mean, like the like, the guitars, like, synthesizers and dolphins, like, I've heard them all before.
We need something that nobody has heard before, something like a sound that nobody would even think to, like, put in put Karen, get me a bunch of kids.
Any particular ages? Just, like, a bunch of different ages, little kids that look like me.
All right.
Well, Diplo has decreed that, in order to truly break new ground, we have to approach music with the innocence of a child.
So we've got a bunch of kids playing instruments.
[Clanking, banging, off-key notes.]
I don't know.
It's still too it feels calculated.
You know what I mean? I need something that captures the blind innocence Karen! Get me a bunch of blindfolds! So, a lot of what a deejay does is a mashing of different sounds and noises a blending, if you will, of the diff That's it.
[Door opens.]
I I don't know.
I need, like, a I need, like, a more futuristic sound.
Anybody got a LaserDisc? Why don't you just put a violin in there? What's the best kind of violin? Oh, the Stradivarius.
It's known as the best-sounding violin in the world.
- Get me one of those.
- Yes.
For the purposes of? History.
Okay.
Um, I'm going to go cry.
Who even cares about violins, anyways? People who love music and, um Yeah, stupid people.
care about history.
I'm going to play video games.
Who are you? Who's this guy? Oh, that's the [bleep.]
douchebag from, uh, Noisey.
He sucks.
Oh, that's right.
Yeah.
You want to be in my vlogs? Hey, look at this stupid piece of shit, all my fans! Ho ho! Idiot! Check out this cool toaster, though.
Diplo just got it.
[Whispering.]
I put my balls in it.
Karen, don't tell him.
[Laughs.]
Of course it wasn't a Stradi [bleep.]
varius! I got it from a 4th grader on eBay for 40 bucks.
He's such a dipshit.
I have him in my phone as "Little [bleep.]
.
" See? [Laughs.]
Diplo has been holed away in the studio for the last seven days, asking only for food and the occasional woman.
[Sighs.]
Many great artists experience writer's block.
It's not uncommon.
Also, there is a a deadline fast approaching, but, um, but this is the life I've chosen.
[Chuckles.]
This is why I said, "No, Father, I don't want to make hard drives.
" [Chuckles.]
"I have done everything you have asked of me in life, but I'm 29 now.
And how could you have known that it was Mother's dying wish for me to make Festplatte? S-She died in a plane crash.
You were not there.
" So it feels like a lie to me, Father.
It feels like a lie that you are telling.
" [Laughs.]
Sorry.
So, I came to California.
Earnest: What does he think about what you're doing now? Oh, we don't speak.
Uh, so, how how did you meet Diplo, again? Um, okay.
Uh, we were in middle school, middle school, yeah.
He was my best friend in middle school.
Uh, yeah, my only friend in middle school, but, uh, I got friends now, so like, I think.
Diplo's my friend now, so that's [bleep.]
cool.
I am getting a little bit worried.
I just don't know how productive he can be by himself alone in that room.
He's been up there for how long? Earnest: Seven days.
Oh, no.
[bleep.]
that shit.
Remain calm.
I got this.
Relax, guys.
I will break down this [bleep.]
door! I will cut off your credit cards and freeze your assets! It's now 3:00 A.
M.
After asking for 30 minutes six times, Brian has run out of patience.
I will donate your shoes to Goodwill.
What do you think about that?! Diplo: [Muffled.]
I just need half an hour.
Hey, man, I know your Snapchat password.
Want the whole world to see those DMs, huh?! What the [bleep.]
? All right.
So so so listen.
Just the answer has been in front of us the whole time.
We just never made the connections.
So so, like, my my chart my chart is a Scorpio, right, by eight degrees.
Check this out.
Numerical value for music in Hebrew is 332.
That's 3 plus 3 is 6, plus 2 is 8.
That's two 8s.
Two 8s.
And what do we want? We want a number 1 hit.
Two 8s, a 2, and a 1 1, 2, 8.
128 beats per minute.
[Imitates explosion.]
That's what the song needs to be.
Okay.
Okay.
That is what I said! That's what I said, and then you you made fun of me for for for for learning intercourse from a book.
I apologize.
So where's the song? Is it done? Um - Not yet.
- Not yet?! You've been here for seven days, and there's no song?! What have you been doing for seven days?! Pissing into jars?! You animal! - Look, it's it's fine.
- There's a bathroom right there! It's fine 'cause 'cause I'm, like, I'm right there.
What does this say? "I think, therefore I am.
" - "I love potatoes.
" - No, no, no! Don't don't don't do that! - What? - Dude, dude! This one says, "Don't touch me there, Grandpa.
" What have you been doing?! I just need a half-hour.
Just give me a half-hour more, and I got it.
Yeah, so, see, the mistake I made was thinking that the answer was in my head.
It's not up there.
It's not there.
The answer is in all of us.
Karen: I mean, I wouldn't really say that we were in a cult, but I wouldn't say that we weren't.
[Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
Art is like an expression of what you're feeling or what you're going through or, like, trying to find a deeper truth.
So it's kind of subjective, so you can't really judge it.
Except some art sucks.
[Air horn blows.]
No, it's not a cult, 'cause in a cult, you can't leave.
And And this, this is this, like, it's more of everyone just wanting to stay in.
And I hope to God or to to Diplo, more importantly, that he keeps me here forever, you know? I'm I'm just aligning my chakras, bro.
My chak and my brah.
[Sighs.]
I can honestly say that I've never been happier.
We're eating only organic, locally grown food, and we have cut ourselves off from all the distractions of the outside world.
We focus all of our energy on asking, "How can we serve the group?" [Voice breaking.]
My name is Sunflower now.
That's why I have one.
I bought it at a Trader Joe's.
I've been doing some reading, and what I learned is is that this whole idea of individuality, that's a bunch of bullshit.
We're not separate.
We're all one.
I told him to read a book about cult hits.
Earnest: And who is Jamar? I heard him talking to a Jamar.
There is no Jamar.
You cut that out.
There's no Jamar.
Diplo: I'm not asking you to destroy your ego.
I would never do that.
I'm giving you permission to surrender your ego.
Watch it float down the river of your thoughts like a little piece of poop.
Earnest: If we're all one, wouldn't that mean that your enlightenment is also mine? Listen to how many times you just said "I" in that sentence.
I I don't think I did.
Three times.
Three times you just said it.
Y-Yeah, but that was Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
Stones only skip on a placid lake, bro.
Time has run out, and you're still here.
Guys we're ready to go back inside.
- Sunflower.
- [Crying.]
Yes, master.
I feel you drifting.
Sorry.
Emotions.
I will stuff them down.
[Mid-tempo electronic music plays.]
[U-tempo electronic music plays.]
[Sighs.]
Again.
[Music stops.]
I don't know what else there is to try.
Then begone.
It's still not working.
What what what else do I do I need to prove to you? What else do I need to do to prove the insignificance of your doubt? What are we? - Both: We are one.
- Are we? - All: We are one.
- Because because not everybody's there.
How long does it take to get around the world? Sunflower.
Um, 36 hours through Singapore, but there are Doesn't [bleep.]
matter! You know why? Because there's something that gets around the world faster than the speed of light.
A song.
A song keeps going, going, and going.
It's infinite.
Anybody in here messed up enough to think that they are stronger than an earthquake, more powerful than a hurricane? I survived a hurricane in a Dumpster once.
Who are we to stand in the way of a tsunami that's going to hose down the whole world with love? Who are we to cock block the infinite?! [Voice breaking.]
It's me! I can't let go.
I have doubts.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Recognition recognition is not a weakness, okay? I'm just going to take you away from the group for a little bit, okay? I want to let go.
- Then let go.
- I want to let go.
- Then let go.
- I want to let go! Then let go! I'll sacrifice myself! [Screams.]
Wait a minute! Hold on! [High-pitched notes play.]
That's it! That's it! That was it! - We did it! - What? We did it! That's that that's it! We did it! [Laughter.]
Put down the knife! Put down the knife! I knew I could do it! I knew I could do it! You guys were there.
You saw it.
God, I am hungry.
I could Oh, I need a fucking burger.
- Jasper: Dude, I'll call some girls over.
- Let's do it.
Can I just get my phone, and, um, I'll Postmates that.
Does anybody else want anything? Diplo: All right.
Let's get out of this room.
- This room stinks.
- We are one! We are one! Wes, no.
No, but no.
I No! [Crying.]
What have we been doing for weeks?! I don't understand! Was it just for the song?! I don't understand! I don't understand! There's still a rat in the room somewhere! [Air horn blows.]
[Air horn blows.]
If you were gonna make a bet with your friend that, like, you can burn your tires in your backyard and the police aren't gonna care, they do care.
Like a lot.
[Air horn blows.]
Earnest: So, after all that you went through, was it disheartening that the answer was just pure coincidence? Was it? I mean, if I hadn't left all that food lying around, if Karen hadn't gone through what she went through and hadn't pulled that knife at that exact moment, that rat would have never revealed what the universe wanted us to hear.
You can call it coincidence.
I call it cause and effect.
I'm pretty sure that was the exact same riff I showed him earlier when we first sat down, but, you know, he had to come to that conclusion himself, and that's fine with me.
Whatever.
Hey, all that matters in the end is that the song is great.
He might be the dumbest human on the planet.
Check this out.
How about this for aligning chakras? Watch out! Here comes a revelation! Where are you now that I need you? I need you the most I need you