Who's Your Daddy (2020) s01e02 Episode Script

[Title Montage]
[Laughing]
I am not laughing deliberately.
It's just funny.
By the way, has your
love story come to an end?
The story has just begun.
Cook eggs.
Papaji, why are you stretching it?
Relax.
Yet to narrate the whole story.
The fun has just begun.
Motherfker, your dad is screwed
and you are enjoying it?
When somebody else's
girlfriend ditches,
it is a weird kind of happiness.
Now how do I explain you?
Okay, chuck it.
Who was the man?
The one with the car?
When Chhuttal told you,
what happened?
Tell me.
[Music playing]
[Soggy] Fine, Biji. It doesn't
matter.
You are not bothered about me.
[Biji] The new age
kids give up very easily.
Pishori and I was going around for
a year.
But your grandpa did not give up.
Do you know who won?
Moron, your grandpa.
What about Pishori?
You want to be like your
grandpa or Pishori?
Grandpa.
[Biji] Okay, listen about
what you should do next.
[Car halting]
Hey, listen,
I will quickly get my skirt.
- [Goldi] I will come along.
- No, wait. I will be back.
[Goldi] So it's gonna be
really quick or will you
take time as girls do?
Don't be over smart, okay?
15 minutes.
I will be back in a jiffy.
Make it fast.
Hey, give me popcorn
for five rupees.
[Clapping]
[Tyre leaks]
So, you want to complain to sister?
I will screw you. Wait.
Hey, dude.
- What's up?
- What happened? Who are you?
Hey, motherfuer.
- Can't even recognise me?
- What do you mean?
When you wanted
my room keys to have fun.
Then you could even recognise
me in a dense crowd.
- Excuse me?
- English.
Fker, three of your briefs
are still drying at my place.
Should I tell your girlfriend?
What? You mean undergarments?
- Yes, you are shit scared?
- What are you talking about?
You are talking
to the wrong guy, bro.
You are mistaken, bro.
- Your undergarments are torn
and you're exposed. - What?
It is punctured.
- Let's leave now.
- What?
I don't know.
- [Mehak] Goldi.
- Yes.
- The tyre is punctured.
- What?
[Goldi] What happened?
It was fine till now.
Shit.
Now I will have to take a rickshaw.
Wait, I will do something. Wait.
My hair will get messed.
- Soggy.
- Any problem?
Nothing. It's a mess.
Hey, what happened to your leg?
Nothing, I got hurt while trying
to kickstart the scooter.
Don't bother about me.
Tell me your problem.
The tyre is punctured
and I have to go to Lajpat Nagar.
It is very urgent.
I was going there too.
If you wish I can drop you there.
Then it is up to you.
- Really?
- Truly.
Goldi, listen,
repair the tyre and come to Lajpat.
- Okay bye.
- Fine, call me when you reach.
Yes, I will call.
[Scooter starts]
Motherfker. You are fked.
[Soggy] Fker.
Next time, you won't even
get the car. Frozen Momo.
- [Chhuttal] Let's go.
- Who the hell are you?
[Scooter moving]
You didn't come
to give the CD yesterday?
Chhuttal had come in the evening.
But an adult movie
was already going on there.
At least shut the door.
Yes.
Oh.
Okay, listen.
Will you have a popsicle?
You get the yummiest
one at Lajpat Nagar.
Lick, lick popsicle.
[Giggling]
Will you have? Come on.
Let's go.
- Give me two.
- Okay.
Make that one.
I have to go.
Have it, dude.
It won't be long.
Here you go.
Bro, you also have it.
It is very juicy.
I swear, if you eat it once,
you will keep coming back.
- Take it back.
- As you wish.
Let's go. I am getting late.
Goldi must be on his way.
So has Chhuttal seen everything?
He is my brother.
Brother?
Come here.
My aunt's son.
And the one
Chhuttal saw yesterday
It was my friend Parul, not me.
Who was rehearsing for her play.
I am sure Chhuttal has bragged
much more than he has seen.
And you believed a kid?
- How stupid.
- No, that's not true.
- Hey, give me a juicy one.
- Sure, sir.
Bloody Chhuttal.
- Sorry, dear.
- Better.
I am a fool.
By the way, do you keep
having rehearsals there?
- Yes. - Okay, let me know
if you want to rehearse.
I will come immediately.
Really?
Eat this. Popsicle.
[Song playing]
[Man 1] Come one and all,
watch our best drama.
Abduction of Sita.
Hey, sister-in-law.
Oh shit, the villain of your
story too was Ruhi's father.
Pissu.
Bloody fellow's name is Pissu.
He doesn't deserve such respect.
Bloody useless.
Ruhi's father.
Hi. No?
At least introduce me
to sister-in-law.
You are too much.
[Phone ringing]
Goldi has come.
You come home to give me the CD.
Maybe I might rehearse with you.
Okay, bye.
Bye, sister-in-law.
Hey, so do you recognise me?
[Soggy] I had an important
reason not to recognise him.
Hey, Soggy.
He is your friend.
He was caught making nude films.
[Constable 1] You know him, right?
Will you bail him out?
No, sir.
I don't know him.
[Constable 2] Okay,
take the director away.
What are you saying, Soggy?
They will put me in jail.
Sir, he is joking.
- Show your antics inside.
- Sir, he is my friend.
He is my friend.
Sir, he is my friend. He keeps
roaming with me all day long.
[Pissu] You already have
a habit of not recognising people.
Have you told sister-in-law
about your porn CD business?
No? Oh, you are too much.
- Hey, sister-in-law.
- Hey, gold polish.
I am sparing you today, Pissu.
Don't ever come near me.
I won't be seen.
But I will always be around you.
[Tidda] Here, eat.
Because of your enmity,
I am unable to rehearse with Ruhi.
The scene is always
incomplete, papaji.
Your fate
is just like mine.
Badly written by a moron.
My destiny might be like yours.
But not my deeds.
And porn CD?
Who the hell sells porn CDs?
Couldn't you find a better job?
At that time,
there was nothing better than that.
Not like today, press a button on
the phone and the whole menu opens.
It was great fun to
watch porn in those times.
[Soggy] I used to bring
fun in people's lives.
Your father's job was to bring
happiness in people's lives.
Meow.
[Tidda] Oh shit. Pause.
- That is
- [Soggy] It is okay, dude. Chill.
You don't pause, continue.
At that time,
she was miss Mona Chhibber.
[Soggy] She had caught her husband
red handed with another woman.
And even divorced him.
That's enough about them.
Hey, are you ready?
[Moaning]
[Car honking]
Stop.
What happened?
[Car honking]
What happened?
Stop.
- Go take a shower.
- Again?
Do you want me to bathe
and then worship me?
We just have to get into the mood.
Let's make it dirty.
You always have this problem.
You caress less, but clean more.
I won't apply soap this time.
[Banging remote control]
Vikram.
Oh Vikram!
Every time, you are always tired.
You are always sleeping.
Vikram.
[Phone ringing]
- Hello.
- Were you asleep?
Will have to sleep now.
Has your CD stopped as well?
How do you know?
[Ms. Chhibber] You would not have
answered my call if it was playing.
Vikram's ship
propeller had started.
Anchor too had moved.
[Water splashes]
Bloody CD stopped at the time.
[Soggy] There is an
error in their life as well.
Husband wants sex. But not a child.
Dr. Das is trying
to find a cure for this.
Okay listen.
- Is Pammi's CD working?
- I don't think so.
Let's go to meet Champa tomorrow.
Now a days, she has been
delivering faulty CDs.
We will have to go.
Vikram had come for four days.
One night gone because of Champa.
My mood is ruined completely.
- Okay, bye.
- Good night.
- [Door opens]
- I am ready again.
[Man 1] Where is she?
Good that I didn't apply soap.
[Soggy] He was spared
but I was going to get screwed.
Oh. I am dead.
[Soggy] Khatmatiya uncle.
Just two pills.
Have it once and feel the magic.
Very soon your gun
too will be ready to shoot.
You have to have the
minimum course of one month.
Five pills in the morning
and evening. How many?
- Five pills each.
- Five pills.
By the way, uncle.
[Soggy] Uncle. Is Champa fine now?
Her back is broken.
My middle is broken as well.
Ahh.
Does he want to hang a
calendar on his middle wicket?
Uncle is damaged.
Are you done talking?
Why? What happened?
Champa fell from the terrace
two days back
on Khatmatiya uncle's lap.
- Oh no. - [Soggy] She
can't move for a year.
Now you tell me,
how will I be able to deliver?
I was boiling the milk
on the stove.
[Prem] You have made me
viceroy's cook.
Why was he scared?
Where did he go?
[Ms Chhibber] Has your
husband come
from the cruise
only for five days?
Yes, one night was
wasted because of Champa.
You are wasting your
life because of that.
You very well know that
your husband keeps sleeping
around with others.
Yet you want a child with him.
So what do I do, Chhibber?
Anyway, this is the last try.
If it did not happen,
I will arrange
a father for my child.
That's like my girl.
I want you to be like that.
[Tidda] Oh, she is Pammi aunty.
[Soggy] She was Pammi Chawla then.
Though she doesn't look
like a mother of two young kids.
Pammi wanted to do all that
which she couldn't do in her youth.
But her husband Mr. Chawla
had left his youth far behind.
[Car door opens & closes]
- [Pammi] Good morning, girls.
- Good morning.
- Are you done?
- What?
- The same.
- Oh leave it.
I am saying. By God,
I am feeling very
uneasy since morning.
I am feeling restless.
What we are going to do.
I think we should cancel it.
What if someone saw us?
Who will see you?
Will your kids come
from UK to see you?
Or Mr. Chawla will leave
his shop and come to see you?
[Giggling]
But tell me one thing,
how will we find him?
We don't even have the address.
Don't worry. We have Tek Singh.
Tek Singh will take
care of everything.
Please trust my gut feeling.
Let's not go anywhere.
Pammi, please chill.
God, please bless us.
Save us today.
- Give her an orange.
- Take this. It is very juicy.
All my juices are
already spilling out.
Want me to eat an orange.
You eat, they are very sweet.
No. I will be coming to deliver
them from now on.
Champa is handicapped.
Her back is broken.
She is on bed rest.
Yes.
Where does Champa live?
Why? What do you want?
About the CD.
Which one?
XX, XXX story? Or with action?
Not me, them.
Do you work for Champa?
No, Champa works for me.
No, I mean she used to.
[Soggy] I mean I have a shop.
Champa used to work there.
Two days back, she
fell off the terrace.
[Mrs. Das] What?
Oh God. God, please bless.
Poor guy is already troubled.
[Pammi] And we have
come to disturb him.
Finish off your work and
let's go from here.
We regularly need the CDs.
Now that she isn't working.
You can send it to us.
This is my card.
Call me and say the code.
You will get your stuff.
[Mrs. Das] That is fine.
But what if the CD stops?
The money too will stop.
Madam, that era is gone.
No more CD.
Now, there is DVD in the market.
Disk with DG.
[Soggy] No chance of interruption.
And quality is so high.
It will seem as if it's happening
in front of you.
Is that so?
Okay, fine.
Send it to our homes tonight.
Will text you the address.
[Soggy] I don't have a mobile.
Will buy soon with your blessings.
Listen, look here.
Aren't you the one who appears
in the CD before the film?
He is the one.
Wow, madam. You recognised me.
You watch a lot of movies.
Leave it. Tell me.
Are you not scared?
What if you are caught?
It isn't so easy.
I have a setting with the police.
[Mrs. Das] Okay listen.
These are the three addresses.
Send them here tonight.
Okay. No problem. You will get it.
[Soggy] I promised them, but the
problem was of the delivery.
It is rightly said, the solution
of every problem is nearby.
And the solution to my
problem was at my home.
Was there a call from Mr. Siddhu?
Empty hands and twinkling eyes.
Here goes the gentleman.
Forget about Siddhu
and focus on work.
The same taunts and
the same bitterness.
[Prem] Are you happy now?
I was saying
Champa has broken her back.
Who will deliver for you now?
Why are you bothered?
Have you ever been tensed before?
Then why are you worrying now?
[Soggy] You manage your own things.
I will manage mine.
You can leave.
Mr. Siddhu must be waiting for you.
It is your time to chit chat.
The same talks every day.
Both of you keep
taunting me every day.
Instead I was saying
your work pressure has increased.
Should I help you with the
deliveries?
- What?
- [Prem] Yes.
Thank you, son.
I can go for a walk
and even pass away my time.
Anyway, Biji wasn't
going to let me sit idle.
Okay, fine.
You can go to one of the places.
I will go to the other.
- Fine. - [Soggy] When
father is handsome,
then the kid is more
worried than proud.
My macho papa was
going to add fuel
to the hidden lusty fire
of the perverted Delhi women.
And my father's new
angle begins from here.
[Theme song playing]