Worzel Gummidge (2019) s01e02 Episode Script

1
Grab onto that chain.
That's it. Lean back and you can
get onto that beam.
- Are you sure it's safe?
- Course it's safe!
Mind the scythes
That's it.
Out along the beam there
Watch this bit,
there's spikes underneath.
Right, now can you see 'em?
It's too dark.
Here.
- Ow!
- Have a look up the back there.
Yeah, I think these are
beehives.
See if you can pull one free.
Ah!
Got it?
Pull it out towards the edge!
What is going on?
Come down
from there at once!
What?
Get down! Henry!
What are you thinking of?
It's dangerous!
Look at all this stuff.
Why'd you even have bear traps?
We don't have bears!
Not anymore.
Oh, look at the state of you.
I came out specifically
to tell you not to get dirty
cos I've said you'll go
to tea today
with Lady Bloomsbury Barton
at Bloomsbury Barton Manor.
Sorry, what, pardon?
You heard me, and you should be
very honoured
very grateful to be invited.
Who's Lady Blooms
Lady Bloomsbury Barton owns
all the land around here.
We're her tenants
and she's asked to meet you.
She hosts an annual charity
garden party at the manor.
Whenever we have foster children
to stay here at Scatterbrook
- she likes to get them involved.
- Oh, my gosh!
That sounds rubbish.
Nonsense!
It'll do you good.
He's not here.
I wanted to show Worzel
my binoculars.
They're gonna blow his mind.
Mr Braithwaite must have moved
him to another field.
He wouldn't stay
in another field.
He'd march straight back
to Ten Acre.
Hold on there he is!
Let's go.
Hey, Worzel!
It's us! It's alright.
It's us!
Worzel!
How do, chillens? Lovely day.
I got these.
You look through them
and they make far away objects
look up close.
Binoculars, you mean?
Oh.
I'm a scarecrow, not a caveman.
I knows what binoculars are.
What's been happening, Worzel?
Scared many crows lately?
All crows scared
what needs to be scared.
I sometimes think I'm too good
at my job.
The wise ones don't even come
close to Ten Acre Field no more.
Fact, I been thinking of getting
another job on the side.
Oh yeah? What sort of thing?
- Bit of part-time modelling.
- Ha!
Rude.
You mean making models?
Like model aeroplanes?
No, actually, wise guy,
I mean proper modelling
on the cat-walk. Look.
"Garden Party Fundraiser,
Saturday 21st
- at Bloomsbury Barton Manor."
- Read on, read on.
"Raffle and tombolas"
Down a bit, down a bit.
That bit.
"Scarecrow Competition.
Prize for the best looking
scarecrow."
"Best looking scarecrow".
It's got me written all over it.
Or I've got it
written all over me.
That's where we're going now
for tea
with Lady Something-Or-Other.
You're going for tea
at the big house?
Wait a minute!
- Worzel
- Ah, da, da
- We
- Ah, bababa
- But Worzel
- Daaaa!
I've just had the most brilliant
brainchild.
Ew.
You could take me up the manor
and enter me
for the competition!
But we didn't really make you.
You didn't nearly make me.
Green Man made me.
But I can't just troll up there
by myself and say
"Put me down
for the competition."
They'd have the screaming
abdabs.
But if you won,
we couldn't accept the prize.
You're not getting the prize,
I am.
What is the prize?
Don't know, don't care.
You may not have heard,
but scarecrows is mad for prizes
crazy for 'em.
Whatever that prize is,
I wants it.
Er, I don't know, Worzel.
Are you sure this is
a good idea?
What could possibly go wrong?
Well, I'm up for it.
One.
- Go on then.
- Two!
Excellent. And if the prize is
something sharable
like biscuits, or a cake
- you're not having none.
- Deal.
Let's get up there now.
I'll go into a sulk
and you can carry me.
How far is it?
About a mile or so yonder.
Well, then you can walk with us
and we'll carry you
when we get there.
Darn it.
Thought I might get a free carry
all the way.
How's your pet robin?
Winter George?
He's nobody's pet.
I shouldn't let him hear you
calling him that
he barely tolerates me.
'Ere, I'll give him a call.
Here he comes.
Oh!
Look at him, he's had a shower.
Thinks he looks all handsome,
like Mr Darcy!
You're just a ragged robin,
my friend.
'Ere, we're on up
to the big house.
I'm entering a modelling
competition.
Gonna win a prize.
Once again
rude.
Hang on, there's someone
I wants to see.
Psst! Earthy!
It's me, Worzel.
'Ello, Worzel!
Is the coast clear?
Any gardeners around?
Not yet, all safe!
You remember Earthy Mangold?
Yeah. Hello!
What's new, Earthy?
The buds on the blackthorn,
the spiders' webs.
- And what's old?
- The chalk, the church
the songs of the birds.
Perfect.
Guess where we're off to?
- Where?
- We're on up to the big house.
I'm entering a modelling
competition.
Oh, Worzel. Do be careful.
- Are you sure that's wise?
- That's what I said.
You can't go round fraternising
with 'umans
present company expected!
There's rules, Worzel.
I'd hate to hear you'd been
found out and got dismantled.
Ha! Dismantled!
Thing you got to remember
about 'umans
they only sees what
they wants to see.
Their brains isn't big enough
to understand
walking, talking scarecrows.
I'm practically invisible
to 'umans.
Uh hello?
Well, not to these two,
obviously
but they're young 'uns,
their brains haven't fully
developed yet, no offense!
- Is there a prize?
- Certainly is!
Big one as well, probably.
I'll bring it by and show you
if it's not too big.
Cheerio then! Mind how you go.
Be careful, Worzel. I mean it!
Don't you worry about me.
I'm a very shrewd scarecrow.
Worzel! I'm caught!
Come here.
Here you go.
You were being very
showy-offy back there.
"Showy-offy" isn't a word.
Vain then. Boastful.
Somebody's swallowed
a thesaurus.
Big-headed.
You too, huh?
You were acting like
you've already won.
- Pfft!
- What was that?
Pffffft!
And again. I hope you don't
have to eat humble pie.
Oh, will there be pie?
I quite fancy a bit of pie.
Come on, you better start
sulking before anyone sees you.
- We'll carry you from here.
- Hang on a sec.
Some scarecrows there already.
Do you recognise any of 'em?
Can't see from here.
Perhaps I should take
a closer look.
Check out the competition,
see who I'm up against.
I don't think you should.
Come on, we'll creep around
the rhodi-dum-dums
take a quick peek.
Here, lend me your
"magical eye tubes".
Don't recognise none of 'em.
They looks like they been made
by children!
Well, they probably have.
That one's called
"Scarecrow Sam".
What kind of a name is that?
Couldn't scare a titmouse.
They're having a laugh.
Well, hello there!
Oh, hello.
I'm not gonna have no
trouble beating this lot.
I'm better looking
than all of 'em.
Gummidge
I'll wear my special-occasions
cravat just to seal the deal.
- Worzel.
- Clinch victory
Ah!
Oh, how wonderful!
What a very clever costume!
You've dressed as a scarecrow!
Because of the scarecrow
competition. Haven't you?
Um
Yes.
Yes, that's right, he has.
This is our friend.
A man.
A man.
Yes.
Who has dressed as a scarecrow.
What a scream.
But you're two days early.
The party's on Saturday.
Oh yes, we know.
I'm Susan.
This is my brother, John.
We're staying with
the Braithwaites
at Scatterbrook Farm.
Oh, my dears,
you've come for tea!
I'd totally forgotten.
You're so very welcome,
and you've brought a friend.
- Yes.
- Whose name is
Worzel Gummidge.
How unusual.
You can call me Worzel.
Or Gummidge.
Or Worzel Gummidge.
Delighted to meet you,
Mr Gummidge.
Or Mr Gummidge.
Come on into the house
and have some tea
and I'll lay on a Battenberg.
Charmed, I'm sure.
Are you a scarecrow fan,
Mr Gummidge?
You could say that,
Your Ladyness.
I'm from the Scarecrow
Appreciation Society.
- The SAS?
- Exactly.
I'm not supposed
to talk about it.
Fascinating
Fascinating.
A nice
cup of tea and a slice of cake
- Mr Gummidge?
- Not for me!
I will have a glass of milk
though, if I may.
Fresh, is it?
Of course.
Could you pour it for me?
I fear a spillage.
More than that.
More than that.
Right up to the top.
More. More.
There we go. Ah, cheers.
Ah Good stuff.
Brr
Where do you live, Mr Gummidge?
In doors.
In a house, you mean?
In a house, yes, that's right.
Where is your house?
Well, I haven't brought it
with me, have I?
- I left it at home.
- I mean, where are you from?
Well, most of me's from
right here in Scatterbrook.
Most of you?
Well, not my arms.
My arms is new.
What happened to your old arms?
Fell off.
- Can we change the subject?
- Yes, yes, of course.
How long have you lived
at Bloomsbury Barton Manor
- Lady
- Has somebody farted?
Seriously, has somebody guffed?
Oh!
Oh, have you broken wind?
Oh! Have you let one go?
- Urgh
- Oh!
Smells like someone's pushed air
through poo.
Somebody's whispered
a bum-secret?
Can I open the window?
Let some fresh air in?
Oh!
Ooh, that's better.
Meaty one, that, weren't it?
I reckon it was her,
she's blushing.
Anyway, let's forget
it ever happened.
Soon as the air clears.
Do continue, m'lady.
I've lost my thread.
I'll find it!
He's an outdoors man.
Is that your thread?
It's the only one down there.
You might want to think about
getting a new one.
What a unique person
you really are, Mr Gummidge.
Do say you'll come back again
on Saturday for the party
and do come in costume.
It'll make the day perfect!
I wouldn't miss it
for the world.
It'll be your pleasure and
privilege to have me there.
Scream!
There is just one thing,
Your Grace.
When I win the competition, will
I be required to make a speech?
- Win the competition?
- Yes.
And what's the prize?
Oh! You're joking.
You are funny.
Am I?
Of course you can't enter
the competition, Mr Gummidge.
- Can't enter?
- Of course not!
It's a competition for homemade
scarecrows
not "real" scarecrows.
And anyway,
you're far too good looking.
Nobody else
would stand a chance!
Don't worry, if you turn up
in costume on the day
I'll buy you a raffle ticket.
You heard her!
"Too good looking" she said.
"Nobody else
would stand a chance."
Yeah, alright, Worzel.
You wait till I tell Earthy.
And a prize just for showing up!
She said she'd buy you
a raffle ticket.
I know!
My very own raffle ticket.
And me in the big house!
Who'd have thought I'd actually
get to go inside the big house?
Well, I'm glad you had
a good day, Worzel.
- Why, thank you.
- See you tomorrow?
Indubitably. Cheerio!
Hello.
Nice weather.
Are you from Scatterbrook?
Haven't seen you before.
Hello?
Good morning, Mr B.
Look at all this rubbish left up
on the track.
Nothing to do with you two,
is it?
No.
Didn't think it could be.
And gates left open
up there too.
Have we had trespassers
in the night?
Seems like it.
You didn't see anybody hanging
around yesterday, did you?
Actually, there was an old bloke
up the lane
when we were coming home.
Oh yeah, he was weird.
Yeah?
Describe him.
Well, he was old.
Had a big beard.
Ragged clothes, tied with rope.
With twigs and leaves in them!
Did he have a pack on his back?
Yeah! A massive one.
That sounds like old
Jack Woodwose.
You hear that, Renie?
Sounds like Mr Woodwose is back.
No! He can't still be around?
Well, kids seen someone
sounds just like him.
Where was he?
On the track,
up Ten Acre Field.
Right. Well, let's go and see
if we can find him.
He's a hedge-layer.
Travels round the county,
always on foot
repairs old hedges
and lays new ones.
Turns up once every few years,
but never takes any payment.
Yeah, he's a strange old fella.
Thinks he's invisible.
Well, I'll be
There he is!
Ha-ha!
Mr Woodwose!
I see you there.
There you are.
Standing here next to this hedge
that presumably is your
handiwork?
Beautiful work, Jack.
Been meaning to do this
for a couple of years.
I don't understand.
What's he doing?
Chopping it down?
No, no, look. Come here.
He doesn't cut 'em
right through, just halfway.
That way, they'll carry on
growing together to make a fence
that'll only keep getting
stronger and never rot.
Oh, er, I made this up for you.
Few sandwiches and bits.
Ah
Right, well, I'd best be off.
Someone keeps taking that old
scarecrow from Ten Acre Field.
I've got to find him and fix him
to his stake.
- Couple of nails should do it.
- No!
What's that?
He wouldn't want to
I-I don't think he should
Sorry, "he"?
It's a scarecrow, not a person.
I know, exactly. And scarecrows
need to move, don't they?
To scare the birds.
Yeah, if he was fixed
to his post
he wouldn't be able to swing
around in the wind.
- "It".
- It.
Come on then.
I'll give you a lift back.
We'll go look for Worz
that scarecrow.
Right, well, keep an eye out
for those trespassers.
Oh, and, er, shut any gates
that you see open!
Cheerio, Jack!
Where will Worzel be
if he's not in Ten Acre?
At the allotments telling Earthy
Mangold how great he is.
and she turned to me,
with tears in her eyes
and she said,
"Oh, Mr Gummidge"
Yeah.
"Oh, Mr Gummidge," she said,
"It wouldn't be fair.
You're too good looking."
I said, "Fair enough."
I can't believe you went inside
the big house.
Oh, yeah! Just went right on in
through the door.
Do it again,
do going through a door!
- Push or pull?
- Push.
"Hello there!"
It was easy, really,
I just went right on through.
Indoors to a room.
Sat down at a table.
On a chair?
Oh, you're hop-dang right
on a chair.
Just sat right down on it,
no trouble at all.
Hey, Worzel!
How do?
I was just telling Earthy
how great I am.
You don't say?
Sorry, Earthy,
he's a massive show-off.
Oh, I don't mind.
It's exciting
to hear stories of indoors.
Do the door thing one more time
but this time pull.
You have to imagine the walls
and the
What's it called? The lid.
- Ceiling?
- Ceiling!
You have to imagine all of that.
"How do you do?"
Ooh!
Worzel? The farmer's noticed
that you're not in your field.
He's out looking for you.
You'd better get back.
Toodle-pip, scarecrow!
Bye, Worzel!
Bye, chillens!
Look at this!
Who's done this?
The farmer found a load as well.
He said there must have been
trespassers in the night.
Trespassers, eh?
Don't like the sound of that
one little bit.
Did he get a look at 'em?
Don't know.
Why, do you know who it is?
Gates left open?
Yeah! That as well.
Who is it?
Are they scarecrows?
If you can call 'em that.
There's this travelling band
what fancy themselves
as a biker gang,
led by Soggy Bogart.
Now there's a proper show-off.
I don't reckon he's scared
a crow in years.
That sounds terrifying.
Scarecrows on motorbikes?
Oh, they don't have bikes.
None of them have never even
sat on a motorbike before.
They just pretend.
Anyway, I'm not scared
of Soggy Bogart.
I remember when
he was a young'un
before he went off the rails.
He used to wear
teddy-bear pyjamas.
What is it?
It's them.
Here. Go stand over there.
And put your arms out.
Woo!
Well, well, well
Well. Look who it isn't!
Worzel Gummidge.
Or should I say
Worzel Bummidge!
What have we here?
New scarecrows in town?
Ha-ha! Not very scary, are you?
How do, Soggy?
Don't call me Soggy.
No one calls me that no more.
Why not? That's your name,
ain't it?
Soggy Bogart.
Not no more. I changed it.
To what?
Harley Davidson!
Right.
You still up
Ten Acre Field then?
Oh, aye, s'where I belongs.
You won't catch me
standing still.
I's gotta keep movin'.
Keep right on movin' on.
Right, gang?
Yeah! That's right.
Yeah, keep movin' on, yeah!
Right, well, if you're ever
moving past Ten Acre Field
nick over for a cup of splosh.
What, tea?
No, thanks.
We drinks fizzy drinks!
Right, gang?
- Yeah, fizzy drinks!
- Yeah! With sugar in!
Oh right, well,
I aren't got no fizzy drinks
but you're welcome up
Ten Acre anyway.
Tea's for old ladies.
Here, Soggy.
You still got them
teddy-bear pyjamas?
The name's Harley Davidson.
And I only wore them jammys
for one summer.
And they weren't teddy bears.
What were they?
Just bears.
What you lot doing here anyway?
Heard there was a competition.
- Not heard of no competition.
- What? Funny, that.
What with it being
in your manor an' all.
Says here,
"Prize for the winner."
Aye, for fake scarecrows,
homemade ones.
- So you have heard of it?
- Heard of that one, yeah.
But like I say, it's not for
the likes of us real scarecrows.
Who's to know?
We'll just place ourselves
among the fake ones.
Ah, what even is the prize?
Tin of shortbread?
You mean you ain't heard?
Heard what?
Prize is a trophy.
Silver trophy.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
And you got to be in it
to win it.
Oh!
I'm a poet and I didn't even
realise that I am one.
Right, gang?
Yeah, didn't realise he was.
Didn't have a clue.
Smell ya later, Bummidge!
Muddy boots!
He's gonna win it, isn't he?
A silver trophy!
I thought he was horrible
and mean.
Yeah but you gotta admit,
he looks a million dollars.
You think?
A silver trophy! It's not fair.
Forget about it, Worzel.
Yeah, come on. It's only
a glorified beauty pageant.
- Who cares?
- Harrumph.
Did you just say "harrumph"?
I most certainly did,
mumble grumble.
We'll come by tomorrow,
pick you up on the way.
Can if you like. I'm not even
bothered, mumble grumble.
- See you then. Try and cheer up.
- Huh!
What? There's nothing even wrong
mumble grumble grumble.
I want a silver trophy
leather jackets
and their charisma
What about me?
Stupid.
Mumble grumble.
Who's that grumbling?
Who's there?
I can hear someone
mumbling and grumbling.
That's me.
Worzel Gummidge,
the Scarecrow of Scatterbrook.
What have you got
to grumble about?
Lots!
You're not helping by hiding
while you're talking to me.
So show your fizzog!
I'm right here.
Oh!
Hello, Mr Green Man, sir.
I didn't mean to be rude.
Why were you grumbling?
Oh, nothin'
just my shoulder.
What's wrong with your shoulder?
It's not very stiff
and it hardly even creaks
when I move it.
How far can you lift it?
- All the way up.
- Ah.
That's no good.
I'll see if I can
I'll try and stiffen it up
a bit.
Thank you, Mr Green Man, sir.
I didn't mean to be rude, sir.
I didn't realise it was you.
Then why did you answer me?
Huh?
If you didn't know who
was addressing you
why did you answer?
You're not supposed to talk
to humans, Worzel.
I I thought you was
a scarecrow.
And those children?
You thought they were
scarecrows too?
Matter of fact,
I did when I first met 'em.
How do you know about
the children?
How could I not know?
A thousand little birds told me.
A million leaves whispered it
on a million breezes.
How could I not find out? Hmm?
Nature loves to gossip.
But they're good kids!
They are almost like scarecrows.
And the lady at the big house?
You've been breaking the rules,
Worzel.
I've had a complaint.
About me? Who from?
The farmer. He says you've been
going abroad.
Abroad?
Oh, you mean in the
old-fashioned sense like
"away from home", not Tenerife.
- Concentrate, scarecrow!
- Sorry.
The farmer wants to fix you
to your stake.
Oh, please don't, sir.
I don't know as I could
stand it.
I needs to move in order
to do me job proper!
Does that job involve going to
have tea up at the big house?
I'm not going to fix you
to your stake this time, Worzel
but I want your word,
you're to stay here
in Ten Acre Field,
and scare crows.
- But
- No "buts".
You've got a job to do, and
a very important job it is too.
D'you hear me?
No more speaking to humans.
- But
- Worzel.
No good will come of you
speaking to those children.
They're young enough now,
they'll forget about you.
They'll imagine
it was all a dream.
Try your shoulder now.
That's a bit better.
Bit better?
Think so, yes. Thank you.
Oak and ash and sycamore ♪
Barley, wheat
and ripening corn ♪
Breezes sing
their whispering sound ♪
Brooms stand quietly
in their ground ♪
Oak and ash and sycamore ♪
Barley, wheat
and ripening corn ♪
Worzel?
W-What's up?
It's us.
We're heading down
to the manor today, remember?
The big house?
For the garden party.
Don't sulk, Worzel, please.
Are you worried about
being seen?
If you button up, people
will think you're in costume
like Lady Thingy did.
Or is it you don't want to see
somebody else win the trophy?
Oh, please, Gummidge.
You won't get your raffle ticket
if you don't go.
Come on, let's leave him.
We'll come back later.
No!
I want to know why
he's not talking to us!
We'll come back later, John.
Give him time to cheer up.
Is Mr Gummidge with you?
- Um, no, he was
- Sulking.
He was feeling unwell.
Oh, poor thing! What a shame.
I was going to ask him to judge
the competition for me.
You were going to ask Worzel
to judge the competition?
What with his being
such an expert.
Do you think he would have
agreed?
He would have loved that.
Oh, my God.
Well, you'd better take his
raffle tickets
and maybe you can help me
choose a winner, hm?
Come along.
Oh! This is a fun one!
Isn't it?
Really really fun.
Well done. What's his name?
Scarecrow Sam.
Scarecrow Sam!
How did you come up with
that name?
What a very, very good name.
This one's a contender.
Mark this one down
for a contender.
- Mm-hm.
- Next?
Ooh, terrifying.
Look at this one! Nice use
of a football for a head.
Look at the way its eyes
seem to follow you around.
- Very scary.
- Mm
Now, this is one of
the strange creations
that turned up in the night.
Oh, dear.
Oh dear, oh dear.
What's its name? Is it Harvey?
No, Harley.
Looks like
Soggy.
Soggy Bogart.
- Mm-hm.
- Well, I don't like it.
What would Mr Gummidge say?
"Utter shambles.
Couldn't scare a meadow pipit."
Next!
Hmm
Oh, sorry.
I didn't realise these were
supposed to be scarecrows.
Thought somebody had dropped
some rubbish.
Next!
Ooh, look at this one!
"Scarecrow Simon". How simply
terrific and marvellous!
Give me my sausages!
Thank you Mike and Jenny
from the Raptor Centre
for their wonderful falconry
display earlier.
Oh, and if you could all
keep an eye out for a
Uh, what was it?
White-tailed eagle.
A white-tailed eagle!
And probably best to keep
pets and babies indoors
until it's safely recaptured.
Thank you, everyone
for making the scarecrows
for the scarecrow competition.
I hope you've all had a jolly
good chance to look at them.
And have we decided
upon a winner?
We've decided that the best
looking scarecrow
And by far the most scary
- The one with the coolest name
- Is
Scarecrow Sam!
Everybody say cheese!
Cheese!
Now, it just remains for us
to draw the raffle.
Everybody got their tickets
ready?
It's a pink ticket, number 441.
Yes! 441!
Oh, well done! Well done.
First choice of anything
on the prize table.
Look, Worzel!
A whole book of raffle tickets!
I chose it for you.
It wasn't even supposed to be
a prize.
They left it on the prize table
by mistake.
Look at all the colours!
It was hilarious, she asked us
to judge the competition!
Guess who we chose
as the winner.
You'd be proud of us.
Guess who we chose!
Still not talking, huh?
I don't get it.
What have we done?
Here.
You can look at it
when we've gone.
You kids seen my cows?
No. What's happened?
Gates left open,
they've wandered off!
The entire dairy herd, don't
know what direction they went.
I'm gonna look down the lane.
Could you head on over the hill,
see if they're up
- at Church Farm?
- Yeah, we'll go now.
It's Soggy
and the Trubblemakers.
Should have known
they wouldn't just disappear.
We humiliated them back there
at the manor.
They're gonna want revenge.
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear
Oh dear.
"Utter shambles", am I?
"Couldn't scare
a meadow-pipit", huh?
Get lost, Soggy.
You're not allowed
to speak to humans.
It's against the rules.
Rules shmules, right, lads?
Yeah, shmules.
I ain't scared of yous.
What have you done with
Mr Braithwaite's cows?
What have you done
with my trophy?
It's not your trophy.
You didn't win.
What's that Scarecrow Sam
got on me, eh?
Can he do all this, eh?
What's that? What you saying?
Stop shouting in my ear!
Slow down,
I can't understand you!
The kiddos? Where?
But I aren't supposed
to talk to 'em no more
the Green Man said so.
You're right.
Good guff, you're right!
What am I doing wasting time?
Where's. My. Trophy?
We. Don't. Have it.
Not my problem-o. Hand it over.
How can we if we haven't got it?
Like I said, not my problem-o.
"Comprenday"?
Here I come!
Stop laughing, you bully!
Are you alright, Worzel?
Yeah
Went down on me face.
I come to rescue you.
Hear that, lads?
Bummidge here
thinks he's Luke Skywalker.
Pah!
Don't you "pah" me.
I'll "pah" whosoever I like.
Pfft!
Did you just "pfft" me?
What if I did?
I'll pull your head off.
I'll just put it back on again.
Not before we've played
skittles with it.
You bounder!
What will you use for skittles?
Never mind what we'll use
for skittles.
We'll find something.
You'll never find ten things
the same size and shape
to use as skittles around here.
Oh yes, we will.
And we'll knock 'em all over
by rolling your head in 'em.
Stop arguing!
I want my trophy!
You let us go, Soggy!
Worzel!
Is that you?
Are you there?
Oh!
There you are!
I came to find you.
Oh. Hello, everyone.
Well, now.
Who have we here?
- How do, my pretty?
- I'm warning you, Soggy!
The name's Harley Davidson
and I'll thank you
to remember it!
Soggy?
Soggy Bogart? Is that you?
It is you, Soggy Bogart!
I used to babysit for you when
you were a baby scarecrow.
Don't you remember me?
Hello, Miss Mangold.
I used to tuck you in and tell
you a bedtime story, didn't I?
Yes.
You had a favourite one that you
always asked me to tell.
About a teddy bear, I think.
Over and over again,
you wanted that story.
Teddy Bodkin.
Teddy Bodkin!
In your favourite
Teddy Bodkin pyjamas.
How is your mother?
Oh, she's very well, thank you,
Miss Mangold.
Is she?
And how do you think she'll be
when she finds out
what you've been up to?
Don't know.
I do. She'll be very upset.
She'll be disappointed with you,
won't she?
Yes.
Please don't tell her,
Miss Mangold.
Speak up.
Please don't tell her,
Miss Mangold.
And I don't know what you
scarecrows are sniggering about.
I know most of your mothers too.
Oswald Pollypop,
don't think I didn't notice you
skulking back there.
And you, Jackie Pudding.
What would your mothers say?
Don't know, Miss Mangold.
What are you gonna do
about it, Jackie Pudding?
Bring the cows back.
I think you need to,
before evening milking.
Where are they?
In the bottom meadow, but
But what?
Well, it was
Jackie Pudding's idea!
She found a pot of paint!
It was your idea to do swears.
Swears?
- Swearwords?
- He made us paint swears.
On what?
Oh Soggy.
What have you done?
Look!
"Burp."
I saw that one. Very rude.
I done that one. Sorry.
"Shut up".
"Cud muncher".
I should never have wrote that.
It's an terrible thing
to call a cow.
"Pat factory"!
Poor animal.
And over there,
"Leather milk balloon".
Dreadful.
Look at that one!
Well, I'm surprised at you.
You find that kind of filth
and potty-talk amusing, do you?
I don't see what's funny
about writing "udders"
and an arrow on a cow.
We all know where
the udders are.
"I like grass."
Well, I hate to spoil
the great, big funny joke
but isn't it getting close
to evening milking time?
Oh, God, he's right.
How are we gonna
clean the cows?
I know.
Follow me.
Right, come on.
Get this lather off here
They're not a bad lot,
really, are they?
It's just a phase.
I had a phase once.
I remember it clearly.
Where will they go now?
I'm gonna invite them all
back to live in the allotments.
There's plenty of patches
need protecting
and I can keep an eye on them.
Good idea.
Get 'em back to basics.
We better get these cows
back up the hill.
Thanks for everything, Earthy.
You saved the day.
We'll leave you here.
See you tomorrow?
What is it, Worzel?
I'll say goodbye.
Don't worry.
That's the hedge layer.
That's old Mr Woodwose.
He's harmless.
I'll say goodbye.
You mean goodnight?
We'll see you tomorrow,
won't we?
- Ouch!
- Oh!
Mind out for splinters.
Off you pop then.
Off you pop.
Worzel.
What you got to say
for yourself?
It's hard to come up with
something on the spot, sir.
You gave me your word.
You said you'd stay
in Ten Acre Field
and you wouldn't talk to humans.
Sir, I'll never leave
Ten Acre Field again
if that's what you wants.
You can nail me to me stake
and set it in concrete
but please don't stop me
talking to those chillens.
They're important.
They're children.
Exactly.
They're the future.
Come, Worzel.
Let's go for a walk.
Of all
the scarecrows I ever made
there's not been one as good
at their job as you.
Oh, thank you, sir.
And not one of them has caused
me half as much trouble.
I've never known a scarecrow
so quick to break the rules.
I can't help myself sometimes.
Everything's all so exciting.
You're a free spirit, Worzel.
That's my fault, cos I made you.
But you can't go gallivanting
across the countryside
at the drop of a hat.
You've got a job to do.
I loves scaring crows, sir, I do
but I get distracted,
and before I know it
I've wandered off and started
poking my nose in
where I think
it might be wanted.
You're much more than
a scarer of crows.
You're my eyes and ears
out here in the fields.
I need you to watch out,
spot the changes.
But talking to humans
is not allowed.
That's the way it's always been.
Does that mean
it always has to be?
I mean
Ways can change, can't they?
You remember not long back
when the redcoats on the horses
chased the foxes
all over the county?
They said, "It's the way
it's always been."
But eventually they realised
it was old-fashioned and cruel
and now they don't do it
no more.
What good can come
of talking to them?
Because 'umans and nature
need to work together.
Like you laying the hedges.
Now's not the time
for not talking.
Chillens learned me that
when The Tree of Tree was sick.
"Speak to the crows", they said,
"make a deal."
And it was hard,
but they was right.
And you think humans is ready
to discover that scarecrows
come alive and walk and talk?
Not all of them, no.
But what if there were some
special ones, like my friends
what could see things
that others can't?
I'm worried, sir.
Worried about the weather
and the seasons
and all the plastic everywhere.
I's worried about the hedges
and the ditches
and the bees and the flowers.
They're all having
a tough time of it, sir.
You think two children
can turn it all around?
Well
They'll do their bit,
and spread the word
and little by little,
we'll get things back on track.
You're not as silly as you look,
are you, Worzel?
Well, to be fair, sir,
it would be difficult.
What did I make your brains
out of, can you remember?
- Conkers, sir.
- Conkers! That's right, yes.
Well
Those conkers serve you well.
Come on, Worzel.
Let's get you home.
Sir
maybe it wouldn't be so
against the rules
if we was to make them
"honorororary" scarecrows?
How would you do that?
By giving 'em scarecrow names.
See, they got these peculiar
'uman names
but if I could call 'em
by their scarecrow names
it would make it more official.
- What would their names be?
- Well
Susan would be Soopie Lupinstraw
and John'd be
Johnny-John Barleyjohn.
Yeah, of course.
- Maybe that's the answer.
- You think it could be?
I think you might be right
about those children.
There's something special
about them.
But you won't go just talking
to anyone willy-nilly.
Copy that.
No posh ladies
in big old houses.
Ten-four.
Go well then, Worzel Gummidge.
Guardian of the Levels
Sentinel of the Seasons
Scarecrow of Scatterbrook.
and once the Blossom Fairy
had fluttered away
Teddy Bodkin decided it was time
for all the other toys
to go to bed.
Night night, toys.
Night night, Teddy Bodkin.
Night night.
Night night, toys.
Night night
Teddy Bodkin.
Hey! Won't be long now.
Come on! Come on, girls!
Hey!
That's better Come on!