A Tale Dark & Grimm (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[clunking, whirring]
[whooshing]
[pleasant fairy-tale music plays]
[William] Once upon a time,
fairy tales were awesome.
We know you don't believe us.
You think fairy tales are cute
and pink and full of fairies.
[chitters]
-[whacks]
-Well, they're not.
-Real fairy tales are scary.
-[thuds]
-[adventurous music plays]
-[cawing]
Follow two children
as they venture off into a dark tale.
-A scary tale.
-[barking]
-A strange tale.
-[howls]
[roars]
-[shrieks]
-A… Wait a minute.
Are you even old enough for this?
-[thudding]
-You really think you can handle it?
[demons chuckle, gibber]
-[music rising]
-[sizzling hiss, bubbles]
-[birds chirping]
-[pleasant music plays]
[rocks skid]
[crows cawing]
[inhales deeply] Once upon a--
Once upon a time that little girl
we've been talking about for some reason
was walking with nine fingers.
-[both yelp]
-[whimpers]
-[grunts in pain]
-Gretel!
[Dotty] Oh!
But then she found a bowl
of brand-new fingers.
-[whimsical music plays]
-She picked the biggest finger
so she could point farther than anyone,
and she pointed all the way
-to cloud land!
-[whirring, clunking]
Zoom!
-[fireworks exploding]
-What are you doing?
I'm telling the story now!
And I'm so good at it!
Above the clouds,
nobody could hurt Gretel.
-And she's very scared of hurty stuff.
-[upbeat music playing]
Is it weird I kinda like this story?
Oh no! They forgot the bowl of fingers!
Who's gonna eat all those free fingers?
[William] Enough!
I am telling this story.
And may I remind you,
it must be told exactly as it happened,
or we will suffer the consequences.
What story?
Silence!
[sighs]
Once upon a time,
a brother and sister walked alone.
-[wind whooshes]
-[birds chirping]
-[Gretel gasps, chuckles]
-Whoa! Wow!
[sweeping, idyllic music plays]
This is amazing.
The nature here is all so… natural.
[sighs] This could be it,
the perfect place for a perfect home.
-Where we can be our own perfect family.
-[chuckles]
-[croaking]
-[both laughing]
[grunts, gasps in pain]
[gasps]
Oh…
-Cool.
-[giggles]
-Wow.
-[chuckles]
[female voice] Oh my stars!
What lovely small people.
Oh my, that was ever so loud.
I haven't spoken in simply ages.
It'll be 63 years next Wednesday.
Hello?
[female voice] Hello.
Come around,
so I can get a good look at you.
-[mysterious music plays]
-[voice chuckles]
Ah…
Not small people.
[enchanting music plays]
Children! [gasps] Did I hear you say
you're looking for a home?
Yes!
A perfect one.
-[birds chirping]
-Well, you've reached the wood of life,
a place of perfect harmony.
I am Mother Tree, protector of this place.
May we stay here, weird talking tree?
You may stay
as long as you please, my child.
We'd like that very much.
Well, then, welcome home,
my little pine cones.
[both] Whoa!
Thank you, tree! [kisses]
-Mwah!
-[Mother Tree chuckles happily]
Ow! Splinters. [spits]
The wood of life has but one rule,
take only what you need and nothing more.
If you stay,
you must maintain the harmony.
Do you understand?
-Yeah, we promise.
-Yes, and we promise.
What are we promising?
[William] But of course in this story,
no one makes a rule
unless someone is going to break it.
[ominous sting]
[idyllic music plays]
[both laugh]
-Wow.
-[laughs]
[fluttering]
-Oh…
-[chuckles]
[birds chirping]
[Gretel] It's beautiful.
[Hansel laughs]
-[grunts]
-[music fades]
[tense note plays]
Whoa!
[awe-inspiring music plays]
I love your antlers!
-[music swells, fades]
-[huffs]
This is it, the perfect place.
We'll make our new home
right in this spot.
-[gentle music playing]
-Hansel, I can already see it.
We're going to be so happy here.
We have everything we need.
And no awful parents to ruin it.
[fluttering]
I'll never let anything
hurt you again, Gretel.
I'm gonna take care of you here
and make sure everything is perfect.
My hero.
[music fades]
And they lived happily ever after.
The end.
Are we done?
Can I go eat that bowl of fingers now?
Jacob, this isn't the end.
Well, can't we just pretend it ends here
before things get, you know, dark?
-[eerie whoosh]
-[William] You know we can't.
For it is within the darkest zones
that one finds the brightest beauty,
and the most luminous wisdom.
And the most blood!
Blood is my favorite thing
in stories, and in people!
Then you're going to be
the only one who likes this chapter.
Yay! Terror!
-[crickets chirping]
-[gentle music plays]
-[wind whooshes]
-[footsteps nearby]
[jarring sting]
[screams]
-Morning, sleepyhead.
-[screams]
[yawns]
[munches] Mmm. Mmm.
[mouth full] Wow, I'm starving. [munches]
I started building our home without you.
Uh, hope you don't mind.
[gulps] Shouldn't you be resting?
I feel great.
There's a lot to build before this place
will start to feel like a home.
[stomach growls]
Uh, can we build a toilet next?
I'm working on a main hall right now.
Do you think we need a scrapbooking room?
-I think we need food.
-[stomach growls]
Uh, right after my pit stop.
Okay.
I'll just do this work all alone, then!
[upbeat music plays]
[chittering]
[chittering]
[munches]
[strains, gasps in pain]
[both strain]
-[both grunt]
-[Hansel] A little higher. Got it!
[music continues]
[clicking]
[thuds]
[grunting]
[Hansel grunts]
My hero.
[music continues]
[yelps, grunts]
[music stops]
[blows]
[giggles]
[eerie whoosh]
-[crickets chirping]
-[Moon exhales]
[gentle music plays]
[wind whooshes]
-[wolf growling]
-[gasps]
[sinister music plays]
[growls]
[gasps]
-[pleasant music plays]
-[panting]
[laughs]
-[growling]
-[chitters]
[tense music playing]
[chuckles nervously] Uh…
[pleasant music continues]
[chittering]
-[eerie whoosh]
-[crickets chirping]
[sighs] This is really
starting to feel like home.
Yeah, as long as you like berries.
-[both giggle]
-[gentle music playing]
[tense music plays]
-[whispering voice] One of us.
-[ominous music plays]
[William] Although Hansel was afraid,
he was also drawn to this feeling.
It was calling to him.
-[wind whooshes]
-[birds chirping]
Hansel? Hansel?
[sighs]
Where is he?
Well, um, Drago,
I don't suppose you have any ideas
to make this shack more of a real castle?
[idea dings]
You're right.
We could use a tower.
[gentle music plays]
-[wolf growling]
-[voice] One of us.
-[voice echoing]
-[gasps]
[growling]
[gasps]
[gulps]
[yells]
[wolf whimpers]
[uncertainly] Yeah, you better run!
-[munches]
-[wind whooshes]
[sighs]
[whimsical music plays]
Welcome home, Hansel.
How was your day?
"Amazing."
"What a great idea you had
to stay here and be our own parents."
Thank you.
What do you think about the new wing?
"I think it's elegant and inspired,
but I agree with Drago
about the new tower."
I don't recall telling you
about Drago's idea.
[gasps] Have you been spying on us?
[comedic sting]
Hmm!
[whistles]
-[bird squawks, chirps]
-[gasps]
-[gentle music plays]
-Whoa!
[chirping]
What do you want, weird bird?
[whimsical notes playing]
[whispering voices] One of us.
-[huffing]
-[ominous music plays]
[growls]
[grinds teeth, grunts]
[chirps in alarm]
[grunts]
[giggles]
-No, you're funny. What? Nothing!
-[whistling]
You were talking to pine cones!
Where have you been, anyway?
Getting firewood,
and I forgot what I was doing.
I ended up at the edge of the woods.
The shadows talked to me and I roared!
Then they went away and I saw a bird,
so I followed it, I got close and then--
It was crazy! I love it here!
Oh. Um, I love it here, too.
I'm just… I'm glad you're home.
-[continues whistling]
-[fire crackles]
Hey, I was thinking a tower might make
this place feel more like a real home.
-It would be so perfect.
-[continues whistling]
Why are you making a fire? It's not cold.
To cook your dinner.
Am I a provider or what?
What is that?
-It's a meat.
-[gasps]
It's a bird.
It was a bird. Now it's meat.
[continues whistling]
You remember
what that talking tree said, right?
Take only what you need and nothing more.
I need to take care of you,
and that means I need to provide food
that isn't just berries.
-Also, hunting is freakin' awesome!
-What?!
[chuckles]
Well, some roast pheasant
does sound pretty good right now.
But just this once, okay?
I promise.
-Hey, this pine cone looks like me!
-[giggles]
[wind whooshes]
[upbeat music plays]
Just a few more ferns
and we should be done.
Huh. We're all out. I'll go fetch more.
[laughs]
Come right back home, okay?
[pleasant music plays]
[squirrel chittering]
Hey there, little guy… [grunts]
-[cracking]
-[ominous music plays]
No, not again!
Go home.
-[cracking]
-[grunting]
We do not need more meat.
-[whispering voices] One of us.
-[music rising]
[shrieks]
-[roars]
-[music fades]
Hansel?
Hansel?
-[wind whooshes]
-[chitters]
[rustles]
[chitters in alarm]
-[grunting]
-[sinister sting]
-[whimsical music plays]
-One for Hansel, one for Drago,
and one for me.
Mmm.
Are you going to finish that?
[suspenseful music plays]
[gulps] I see you.
-[music rising]
-[dramatic sting]
[gasps] Hansel, you promised!
I'm sorry, but we need food, right?
I said I was gonna provide for you.
We'll just eat it all
so nothing goes to waste.
Then we're not breaking the rule.
Okay. This is fine.
Uh-oh. Whenever she says,
"This is fine," it never is.
-Does she know what that word means?
-Ha!
Wait. That actually made sense.
Wait for it.
Hey! Hey! Do you guys eat your fleas
or just pick them off?
-[munches]
-There we go.
-As time passed, Hansel continued to hunt.
-[chirps]
He knew he shouldn't.
He wished he didn't want to.
-But he wanted to so much.
-[snarls]
-[chirps in alarm]
-[panting]
[bird shrieks]
Meanwhile, Gretel's desire
to build the perfect home and family
-turned into an obsession.
-[whimsical music playing]
-[sizzling]
-[giggles]
[eerie whoosh]
[exhales]
-[chittering]
-[Hansel barks]
-[splatting]
-[ominous music plays]
[Hansel grunting, snarling]
[huffs]
[flies buzzing]
[clatters]
[burps]
-[wind whooshes]
-[ominous music continues]
[crickets chirping]
[Hansel snoring]
[snarls, mutters]
[snores]
[wind whooshes]
Sir Hanselot, what do you think
of young Anna Pinehoff's new dress?
[in low voice] I think
she should stop sneaking around
with that rakish Spanish count,
Señor Humberto del Piño.
[in high voice] Hush!
My uncle, Baron Klaus von Tannenzapfen
must never know!
[smooching]
[in low voice] Anna, what is this?
What am I to tell your betrothed,
le Roi des Drago Rouge?
[in high voice] Tell him
the heart wants what the heart wants!
Man, she's gone loony!
Not loony, just lonely.
How could Anna be lonely?
She has two boyfriends,
and Drago is clearly
the one who loves her!
Humberto is just a jerk!
[Hansel yelps]
[chomps] My tongue!
Ah…
Hansel, your teeth!
That doesn't seem weird to you?
Not weird.
[chomps] Good.
[munching noisily]
-[wind whooshes]
-[munching noisily]
Mmm.
[Hansel continues munching]
-Mmm.
-[Hansel munching, panting]
[growls]
-[gasps]
-[munching]
-[wind whooshes]
-[snoring]
-[growls, mutters, snores]
-[flies buzzing]
-[gasps, snores]
-[sinister sting]
[wind whistling]
-[Hansel continues snoring]
-[mysterious music plays]
[wind whistling]
Mother Tree, Mother Tree,
what's happening to my brother?
He has upset the balance.
The wood of life is no longer in harmony.
Just tell me what to do. Please.
He only stays here because of you.
There is but one way to fix this.
The deep dark woods
will take what's left of Hansel…
-[gasps]
-…if you reject him, turn from him,
break his heart.
I could never do that.
He's my brother. What's wrong with you?
Your brother is not
the only one out of balance.
You are building a castle,
a castle in which to hide
from your own loneliness.
So what?
It's just a bunch
of rocks and wood and stuff.
You know I'm made of wood, right?
-[gasps]
-Listen to me.
You must let Hansel go
and restore the balance
before it is too late.
No, all we have is each other.
He's still my brother.
[Mother Tree] Is he?
The wood of life
is no longer safe with him here…
and neither are you.
Hansel would never hurt me.
-But the thing he is becoming might.
-[ominous music plays]
-[Hansel snoring]
-Hansel!
[flies buzzing]
Hansel, wake up!
[groans] Five more minutes.
Ugh!
[continues snoring]
[gasps] Meat!
This is not fine. I want my brother back!
I'm still brother.
You have to stop this.
It isn't even hunting anymore.
It's just slaughtering.
[whimpers like a dog]
Must hunt, Gretel.
Just stay home.
We can play a game.
-Or maybe plant a garden.
-[sniffs]
Must hunt, Gretel.
[grunts]
Hansel, please.
I need you.
-[grunts]
-[sighs]
[sinister music plays]
Ahem.
I am looking
for a young prince and princess.
May I enter the wood?
There is no royalty in the wood of life.
Every creature coexists here
in perfect harmony and peace.
It's a pretty good setup, if you ask me.
[chuckles] That's cute.
Well, what about the creatures
that eat other creatures?
You know what? No one likes a smart aleck.
Just for that, I'm not letting you in.
-You think you can stop me? You're a tree.
-[grunts angrily]
Hmm.
-[Mother Tree grunts]
-[groans in frustration]
-[Mother Tree moans, grunts]
-[grunts, thuds]
[clears throat]
Point taken.
[mysterious music plays]
[groans softly]
Mm-hmm.
-[growling]
-[suspenseful music plays]
[wind gusting]
Hmm? [sniffs, gasps]
[awe-inspiring note plays]
[roars, barks]
The flower moat was a great idea,
wasn't it, Hansel?
[crickets chirping]
Okay, fine,
but you don't have to be a jerk about it.
-[dramatic music plays]
-[whirring, clunking]
[Hansel panting]
[grunts, snarls]
[groans in fear] Can you please skip this?
I mean, it's gonna be so nasty!
Nobody wants to see intestines.
Uh, I do! Give me the guts, baby!
Tasteful silhouettes, please.
[snaps fingers]
[Hansel grunting, snorting] Ooh!
[groans]
[sinister music plays]
[growling]
[howls]
-[gasps]
-[nearby howl]
[clattering]
-[sinister sting]
-[clacks]
-[Hansel growling]
-[yelps] Ah! [gasps]
[growling, snarls]
[growls]
It's you, isn't it?
-What have you done?
-[sniffing] Must hunt, Gretel!
-[tense music plays]
-You may be Hansel,
but you're not my brother anymore.
You're not!
You're a monster,
and I won't have monsters in my home!
Get out! Do you hear me?
I don't want you here! Go!
-I don't need you!
-[dramatic music plays]
[growls, howls]
[howl echoes]
Whoa! That sounded nearby.
Let us stay close so I can protect you.
-Let the great hunt commence.
-[blade swishes]
[blows kazoo regally]
-[dramatic music plays]
-Must hunt Gretel! Must hunt Gretel!
-[screams]
-[growls, chomps]
[growls]
[growling]
[snarling]
It's quieter than usual.
[sniffs] Do you smell that?
[neighs]
It wasn't me.
No, my lord.
The wood of life smells like death.
-[wind whooshes]
-[farts]
Wait. Now I smell it. Death.
[blows kazoo regally]
-[sinister music plays]
-[Hansel panting]
[Hansel grunting]
[snarls]
[growls]
[grunts]
[snarls]
-[grunts]
-[thuds]
-[Hansel growling]
-[grunts]
-[growling]
-[Gretel panting]
-[Gretel gasps]
-[thudding]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[snarls]
[growls, snarls]
[panting]
[whooshes]
-[panting]
-[lord gasps]
What the devil was that?
-A beast, my lord!
-[blows kazoo]
[stammers] Mmm.
Keep your eyes peeled.
[gasps] Peeled eyes?!
Now it's getting good!
[mysterious music plays]
-[grunts]
-[screams]
[growls, barks]
[snarls]
-This is fine. Perfect.
-[tense music plays]
Just do it already. Do it!
[snarls, grunts in surprise]
[growling curiously]
-[gentle music plays]
-[whimpers]
Do…
Do you remember this?
This is Hansel.
He used to take care of me.
He was…
He was my hero.
[William] You see,
Hansel was exactly 96% monster,
but the other 4% was the love
of a brother for his sister.
-[hooves approaching]
-[growls]
-[growling]
-[lord] Whoa.
[dramatic music playing]
-[growls]
-[gentle music plays]
-[snarls, yells like a human]
-Don't!
-Hansel, no!
-[dramatic music plays]
[howls]
[snarls, roars]
[growling]
[whooshes]
-[thuds]
-[howls in pain]
-[wind gusting]
-[thuds]
-[music fades]
-[crickets chirping]
[chuckles] Excellent shot, my lord.
-[clapping softly]
-Mmm. Indeed.
-[gasps, whimpers]
-[sad music plays]
This is the sad part!
This is the sad part!
This is the sad part!
All stories have a sad part.
They must if they're true.
This story has so many.
Look, I know it hurts.
It hurts when a character you love dies
and another one is left all alone
in a dark and grim tale.
All we can tell you
is that it will get better. It will.
Just not yet.
How can it?
He sacrificed his life for her.
Now Anna Pinehoff
truly knows how much Drago loved her,
but it's too late! Too late!
-[sobs]
-What story have you been watching?
Uh, the good one, with the pine cones?
-[sad music plays]
-Once upon a time,
a very sad and lonely girl
had to figure out
how to go on without her brother.
But go on she did.
-[wind whooshes]
-[Gretel sobbing]
-[Gretel] Mother Tree?
-Mmm.
Hmm.
You were right. I'm sorry.
My brother… is dead.
He'd still be alive
if I had listened to you and let him go.
What…
What should I do now?
-Hmm.
-[gloomy music plays]
[Gretel sniffles]
[magic jingling]
-[birds chirping]
-[gentle music plays]
[William] And so,
banished from the wood of life,
Gretel was forced to return
-to the deep dark woods.
-[sinister music plays]
And she was not alone.
[sinister music continues]
[music swells, fades]
[closing theme song plays]
[Gretel] When the darkness opens wide ♪
Swallowing up the sun inside ♪
Dappled stars, they prick the sky ♪
Blanket on which the moon will lie ♪
Why must daylight always dim? ♪
Creeping dusk so cold and grim ♪
'Tis the blackness of the night ♪
-Teaches us how to see the light ♪
-[song fades]