Afro Samurai (2007) s01e03 Episode Script
The Empty Seven Clan
AFRO SAMURAI Episode 3 You have the basic skills, but your eyes give you away.
Become unpredictable, strike from your subconscious mind, Let your moves flow out from your individual essence.
I do not like the looks of that thing.
See that smoke goes'ing out? It ain't natural.
What I'm sayin' is, this btch, just one thunder from her, she can blow! That's the end of your 'fro, bro'! Bam! By the way, I'm trying to imagine you without a 'fro.
Think you look cute with little braids on.
Wow, hey hey hey hey Hey.
Shut up.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Don't tell me you stupid enough to just waltz through that rear gate, is you? 'Cuz you know it's a trap, right? You ain't that stupid, right? Right? Right? Right.
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey.
Com'on.
You don't believe me! Well fine.
Go ahead, die for that stupid Number One headband.
Damn! You stubborn man! You really ain't gonna let nothin' stop you until you get to the top this mountain and kill Number One, is you? Oh, he did, he did- he did cut your dad's head off, I get that I'd be pissed too.
But this road ain't the safe way man! I'm more than willing to watch your pighead roll.
This is Brother 2.
The Number Two has crossed Terror Pass.
Excellent.
Continue to monitor his movement.
Dear Brothers.
It seems that our long awaited day has arrived! Our prayers like paved stone has led us to the door of the Number One.
But to do this, we must first seize the Number Two by destroying the Afro Samurai.
[Clapping.]
Shall we commence, dear Brothers? I say we send the great russian warrior Ivanov.
He has a unique style and knowledge of pain.
It will unbalance Afro.
Hmmmm.
Rubbish! The one who can defeat Number 2 can only be Foo! The Trickster Assassin from China! [Jammin'.]
Ivanov and Foo are both great warriors.
But we can not place our faith in the hands of foreigners.
Especially ones who may covet the headband for themselves.
Now I have been blessed with a vision.
It has led me to design a weapon more deadly than even the Afro-demon himself.
Brothers! Let me introduce our latest weapon.
It possesses a physical strength 20% greater than the current Number Two.
I originally intended to apply this weapon against Number One.
But since we encountered sudden miscalculations We will first use it to defeat the Number Two.
A battle that will surely provide superb entertainment.
There exists a man on this earth with the skills of Number Two? Where could you find such a man? Not a man, Brother, a thing.
Explain more, Brother 1.
I have accessed our finest scientific resources to build a thing that is more than man.
He is a demon-machine with a special surprise on the inside.
The skills stored deep inside of him was extracted from Afro's dreams by Okiku.
May God rest her troubled soul.
Has the data been tested yet? Do you question me, Brother 6? Does one question faith? Observe and I will make you a believer.
Brethren.
I'm proud to welcome a new disciple into our fold.
Rise to greet our most deadly weapon, Afro-Droid! Damn! Afro-Droid.
Ain't he lovely? It took millions of man-hours, just to build his head This thing ain't nothin'.
Many more technological breakthroughs to manufacture his body.
What say you now Ivanov from Russia and Foo from the Hunan Province of China? Ivanov - I am 2nd to no man.
Foo - I am first among men and machine.
I just forgot to include the machine.
It will be I who defeats this Afro.
I have traveled long and far, no time for games.
So the way I see is, I cut you, I get job.
Hmm.
That's rather interesting.
What say we do now? I suggest we choose the assassin of Afro based solely on credentials.
I suggest we send in the Afro-Droid first.
If he fails then Nonsense! Why rely on a machine when we have hired two of the world's best assassins.
Yesss.
I agree.
To rely on a machine with no credentials is risky.
You all make good points my Brothers.
But why not just let skill alone decide for us.
A Battle Royale!!! Let blood and death pave our way to eternal life.
A Battle Royal? Naw, are you certain? There's only one rule.
When it's over, the last man or machine standin' will battle Number Two.
Twisted.
Splendid.
Can you dig it? Yeah! Then let's get busy ! AFRO-DROID VS.
All Assassins Winner: AFRO-DROID Yo! Come on Afro.
I got a bad feeling about what's up ahead.
You know I'm right.
You better start listening to me man.
You know what, I really do know what the hell is going on around here.
But you won't Aaa Alright.
You finally stopping to listen to me.
Now we can start talking man to man.
So! See.
It's a simple thing.
The point is.
What? What the hell is this? OH HELL NO! Hey hey Aa Aa, Afro, wa wait, wait! This sht ain't even natural! I say we take the long way home.
We can circle back around! You know, so what, we lose a few days? Com'on! I'll see you then.
Sht man ! He like a fcking clone and sht! Com'on man! Ok, now my ninja guts tellin' me he's a mean one.
So don't go any nearer.
Hey! You listening to me? AFRO-DROID VS.
AFRO SAMURAI Oh my God, oh my God! Hey, he's trying to copy you! Hold up! That is you! Wait a minute! Wha Wha Which one is you? Oh No! Which one is you?! That's you, ain't it? You're bleeding, bro! Wait a minute! Hold up, hold up! Prove to me that you're you.
Say something to lemme know it's you.
Shut up.
Oh, it is you! Listen, it's over back there, man.
Oh Afro! Damn Afro ! I hate to say this man, but you losing man! Bad! Hey! Maybe we better back off.
Or you gonna lose that headband.
Damn! This motherfcker knows your next move before you make it.
It's like me watching Afro watching Afro fightin' Afro or something! What happens when your reflection moves faster than you? Something amazing.
That's what happens.
We shall finally see the wrath of hell's fire turn up on itself.
That ain't gonna work either man! Don't do it! Yo yo yo! Stop thinking Afro! He's reading your mind! Ahhh! Help! Now Afro-Droid! Go in for a kill.
Swordmaster: Become unpredictable, strike from your subconscious mind, let your moves flow out from your individual essence.
Even the most masterful opponent will fall from a strike that has no history or reference.
The moves created from your own individual unique essence may surprise even you.
Whoa! Attaboy! You did it Afro! Now, come help me up! Hey yo, you forget me, wait up! My hand's getting numb! This is what we get for relying on Okiku's data.
Damn it, Brother 6! This' the kind of sht I will not tolerate! Where am I? Oh, so we made it, huh? We made it! We made it! Yo! Afro! You tried to ditch me, didn't ya? I really thought I was gonna die.
Hey, you still going on? Ain't you had enough punishment for one day? Afro, you gotta listen to me! Man, you don't know what these crazy monks got under their skirt! Wait, damn it! Don't you ever plan nothing? [Asian Greeting.]
Even though you are wounded, expect no mercy from me.
Don't hold back, ngga ! This dude's a meanie.
Kick his ass.
Careful man ! You slip up with this one and you're a dead man! Yes! Ahhh! H-H-He's psycho, man! I will leave the rest to you My Brothers.
What? No way! He's truly a Warrior Legend.
Almost too magnificent to kill.
You won't have your sword back that easily.
You're nothing without a blade.
Brother 5! You have been too careless.
Get off, Brother 5! Now what the hell is this? Do we really gotta keep going? I mean, this sht you leave behind you is nasty.
Do as you please.
Jesus, you crazy, man.
It's a pity I have to do this, but the Number Two warrior must die.
No matter what it takes.
Uh? What the? Yo, I know that dude! I thought you iced him already.
He's that motherfcking machine! This' some crazy sht, man! AFRO-DROID v2.
0 He dead yet? You dead yet? AFRO-DROID v2.
0 - Danger, Danger, Danger! Hey man! Where ya been? Stay down, motherfcker, stay down! He ain't dead yet! Oh com'on man! Now it ain't even fair! We gotta come this far just to look down the barrel of that sht? That felt good.
I think he blew his load.
Man, I bet all that skill is stored in this little chip.
And such a cute little chip too.
Oh sht, man! I ain't going! Listen man.
That's it for me.
I've seen some sights today ain't no one supposed to see.
So that's it.
I ain't Shut up.
Wow ! This thing goes any faster, my head's gonna stick in body like a damn turtle.
Youth, completely overrated.
Nothing will stop my mission of obtaining the Number One headband.
Especially not some damn samurai! Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder.
What the hell is that supposed to be? Long time, no see, Afro Samurai.
TO BE CONTINUED AFRO SAMURAI Subtitled for your Enjoyment by: omz007 Downloadable From SUBSCENE.
COM
Become unpredictable, strike from your subconscious mind, Let your moves flow out from your individual essence.
I do not like the looks of that thing.
See that smoke goes'ing out? It ain't natural.
What I'm sayin' is, this btch, just one thunder from her, she can blow! That's the end of your 'fro, bro'! Bam! By the way, I'm trying to imagine you without a 'fro.
Think you look cute with little braids on.
Wow, hey hey hey hey Hey.
Shut up.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey.
Don't tell me you stupid enough to just waltz through that rear gate, is you? 'Cuz you know it's a trap, right? You ain't that stupid, right? Right? Right? Right.
Hey hey hey hey hey hey hey hey.
Com'on.
You don't believe me! Well fine.
Go ahead, die for that stupid Number One headband.
Damn! You stubborn man! You really ain't gonna let nothin' stop you until you get to the top this mountain and kill Number One, is you? Oh, he did, he did- he did cut your dad's head off, I get that I'd be pissed too.
But this road ain't the safe way man! I'm more than willing to watch your pighead roll.
This is Brother 2.
The Number Two has crossed Terror Pass.
Excellent.
Continue to monitor his movement.
Dear Brothers.
It seems that our long awaited day has arrived! Our prayers like paved stone has led us to the door of the Number One.
But to do this, we must first seize the Number Two by destroying the Afro Samurai.
[Clapping.]
Shall we commence, dear Brothers? I say we send the great russian warrior Ivanov.
He has a unique style and knowledge of pain.
It will unbalance Afro.
Hmmmm.
Rubbish! The one who can defeat Number 2 can only be Foo! The Trickster Assassin from China! [Jammin'.]
Ivanov and Foo are both great warriors.
But we can not place our faith in the hands of foreigners.
Especially ones who may covet the headband for themselves.
Now I have been blessed with a vision.
It has led me to design a weapon more deadly than even the Afro-demon himself.
Brothers! Let me introduce our latest weapon.
It possesses a physical strength 20% greater than the current Number Two.
I originally intended to apply this weapon against Number One.
But since we encountered sudden miscalculations We will first use it to defeat the Number Two.
A battle that will surely provide superb entertainment.
There exists a man on this earth with the skills of Number Two? Where could you find such a man? Not a man, Brother, a thing.
Explain more, Brother 1.
I have accessed our finest scientific resources to build a thing that is more than man.
He is a demon-machine with a special surprise on the inside.
The skills stored deep inside of him was extracted from Afro's dreams by Okiku.
May God rest her troubled soul.
Has the data been tested yet? Do you question me, Brother 6? Does one question faith? Observe and I will make you a believer.
Brethren.
I'm proud to welcome a new disciple into our fold.
Rise to greet our most deadly weapon, Afro-Droid! Damn! Afro-Droid.
Ain't he lovely? It took millions of man-hours, just to build his head This thing ain't nothin'.
Many more technological breakthroughs to manufacture his body.
What say you now Ivanov from Russia and Foo from the Hunan Province of China? Ivanov - I am 2nd to no man.
Foo - I am first among men and machine.
I just forgot to include the machine.
It will be I who defeats this Afro.
I have traveled long and far, no time for games.
So the way I see is, I cut you, I get job.
Hmm.
That's rather interesting.
What say we do now? I suggest we choose the assassin of Afro based solely on credentials.
I suggest we send in the Afro-Droid first.
If he fails then Nonsense! Why rely on a machine when we have hired two of the world's best assassins.
Yesss.
I agree.
To rely on a machine with no credentials is risky.
You all make good points my Brothers.
But why not just let skill alone decide for us.
A Battle Royale!!! Let blood and death pave our way to eternal life.
A Battle Royal? Naw, are you certain? There's only one rule.
When it's over, the last man or machine standin' will battle Number Two.
Twisted.
Splendid.
Can you dig it? Yeah! Then let's get busy ! AFRO-DROID VS.
All Assassins Winner: AFRO-DROID Yo! Come on Afro.
I got a bad feeling about what's up ahead.
You know I'm right.
You better start listening to me man.
You know what, I really do know what the hell is going on around here.
But you won't Aaa Alright.
You finally stopping to listen to me.
Now we can start talking man to man.
So! See.
It's a simple thing.
The point is.
What? What the hell is this? OH HELL NO! Hey hey Aa Aa, Afro, wa wait, wait! This sht ain't even natural! I say we take the long way home.
We can circle back around! You know, so what, we lose a few days? Com'on! I'll see you then.
Sht man ! He like a fcking clone and sht! Com'on man! Ok, now my ninja guts tellin' me he's a mean one.
So don't go any nearer.
Hey! You listening to me? AFRO-DROID VS.
AFRO SAMURAI Oh my God, oh my God! Hey, he's trying to copy you! Hold up! That is you! Wait a minute! Wha Wha Which one is you? Oh No! Which one is you?! That's you, ain't it? You're bleeding, bro! Wait a minute! Hold up, hold up! Prove to me that you're you.
Say something to lemme know it's you.
Shut up.
Oh, it is you! Listen, it's over back there, man.
Oh Afro! Damn Afro ! I hate to say this man, but you losing man! Bad! Hey! Maybe we better back off.
Or you gonna lose that headband.
Damn! This motherfcker knows your next move before you make it.
It's like me watching Afro watching Afro fightin' Afro or something! What happens when your reflection moves faster than you? Something amazing.
That's what happens.
We shall finally see the wrath of hell's fire turn up on itself.
That ain't gonna work either man! Don't do it! Yo yo yo! Stop thinking Afro! He's reading your mind! Ahhh! Help! Now Afro-Droid! Go in for a kill.
Swordmaster: Become unpredictable, strike from your subconscious mind, let your moves flow out from your individual essence.
Even the most masterful opponent will fall from a strike that has no history or reference.
The moves created from your own individual unique essence may surprise even you.
Whoa! Attaboy! You did it Afro! Now, come help me up! Hey yo, you forget me, wait up! My hand's getting numb! This is what we get for relying on Okiku's data.
Damn it, Brother 6! This' the kind of sht I will not tolerate! Where am I? Oh, so we made it, huh? We made it! We made it! Yo! Afro! You tried to ditch me, didn't ya? I really thought I was gonna die.
Hey, you still going on? Ain't you had enough punishment for one day? Afro, you gotta listen to me! Man, you don't know what these crazy monks got under their skirt! Wait, damn it! Don't you ever plan nothing? [Asian Greeting.]
Even though you are wounded, expect no mercy from me.
Don't hold back, ngga ! This dude's a meanie.
Kick his ass.
Careful man ! You slip up with this one and you're a dead man! Yes! Ahhh! H-H-He's psycho, man! I will leave the rest to you My Brothers.
What? No way! He's truly a Warrior Legend.
Almost too magnificent to kill.
You won't have your sword back that easily.
You're nothing without a blade.
Brother 5! You have been too careless.
Get off, Brother 5! Now what the hell is this? Do we really gotta keep going? I mean, this sht you leave behind you is nasty.
Do as you please.
Jesus, you crazy, man.
It's a pity I have to do this, but the Number Two warrior must die.
No matter what it takes.
Uh? What the? Yo, I know that dude! I thought you iced him already.
He's that motherfcking machine! This' some crazy sht, man! AFRO-DROID v2.
0 He dead yet? You dead yet? AFRO-DROID v2.
0 - Danger, Danger, Danger! Hey man! Where ya been? Stay down, motherfcker, stay down! He ain't dead yet! Oh com'on man! Now it ain't even fair! We gotta come this far just to look down the barrel of that sht? That felt good.
I think he blew his load.
Man, I bet all that skill is stored in this little chip.
And such a cute little chip too.
Oh sht, man! I ain't going! Listen man.
That's it for me.
I've seen some sights today ain't no one supposed to see.
So that's it.
I ain't Shut up.
Wow ! This thing goes any faster, my head's gonna stick in body like a damn turtle.
Youth, completely overrated.
Nothing will stop my mission of obtaining the Number One headband.
Especially not some damn samurai! Just when I thought things couldn't get any weirder.
What the hell is that supposed to be? Long time, no see, Afro Samurai.
TO BE CONTINUED AFRO SAMURAI Subtitled for your Enjoyment by: omz007 Downloadable From SUBSCENE.
COM