All Creatures Great And Small (1978) s01e03 Episode Script
It Takes All Kinds
1 It's very pretty.
I couldn't have done better.
You students can learn a lot from watching us professionals.
Come on.
Let's get him on a blanket.
That's it.
- He wants to see you.
- "He", Mrs Hall? Mr Farnon.
He wants to see both of you.
- What does he want? - He says it won't wait.
- Now what? - I don't know.
Mind you, Siegfried has been in one of those silent moods all morning.
That means he's brooding.
You haven't been up to something, have you? I don't know.
Have I? We'd better find out, hadn't we? (Siegfried) Ah, there you are.
- What's wrong, Siegfried? - Everything.
Look at all this.
Mess, confusion, chaos.
Well, it's got to stop.
You're in charge of the paperwork around here.
We remember the awful shambles you made of taking care of the bills last month.
- We're still on about that? - No.
It's a past grievance.
You brought the subject up.
You're never going to be asked to do it again.
In fact None of us will ever have to do it again.
We're going to have a secretary.
- A secretary? - Yes.
A dedicated expert who'll sort out the mess you lot make of the business end of things.
- And you have chosen one.
- Yes, I have.
Miss Harbottle.
She comes highly recommended from Green and Moulten's of Bradford.
She was their company secretary, no less.
- Is she young? - Certainly not.
We don't want some flighty young piece batting her eyelashes.
Why not, if she can do the work? If you think I'd have an attractive woman around with you in this house, you're mad.
You'd never leave her alone.
- I'm no worse than you.
- It's you we're talking about! When do we meet her, Siegfried? Tomorrow.
She's coming to inspect the office.
So I expect you two to give her your full cooperation.
God, what the hell is it? There's an awful noise coming from surgery.
The dog! Must be coming out of his anaesthetic.
That's all right, Mrs Hall.
Come on, James.
We'll go and see it.
(Dog whining) That noise gives me the creeps.
I've seen this before.
General anaesthetic does affect some dogs like this.
It could be straightforward or it could be the onset of a more complex reaction.
- We have to wait and see.
- Is there anything we can do? No, just keep a careful watch.
What a racket.
Can't leave it alone.
Someone must stay with it.
I can't.
I'm seeing a calf at Heston Grange Farm.
Yes, nor can I.
I've got a hell of a list this afternoon.
- (Dog howling) - Tristan! I've got a job for you! (Horn beeps ) (Knocks on door) Hello? Anyone home? (Woman ) Just a minute! Hello.
Hello.
I'm sorry I couldn't let you in.
My hands were covered in flour.
Oh, that's all right.
My name's Herriot.
James Herriot.
Oh! Siegfried Farnon's new assistant.
Oh, I've heard all about you.
You're the one who said Mr Handshaw's cow would never walk again.
Bad news travels fast, I see.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
Oh, idle gossip doesn't offend me in the slightest.
You should be pleased! That little incident will keep Mr Handshaw happy for weeks.
Is Mr Alderson about? I understand he has a sick calf.
Yes.
But my father and the men are out in the fields.
- Can you wait a minute? - Of course.
I'll just see to the dough and, er, then we'll be off.
Oh I'm Helen Alderson, by the way.
I was on the bus the day you arrived at Darrowby.
The calf is in one of the hill pastures.
Look, you can see it from here.
I'll take your word for it.
We're in for a bit of a walk, I'm afraid.
Oh, I don't mind.
I don't mind in the least.
Poor little thing.
Misses his mother.
It's all right, little fella.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Easy, easy.
How did it happen? Fell down a slope chasing after his mum.
Is anything broken? A clean fracture of the metacarpus.
He should do well with a plaster on it.
Could I have some water, please? - Oh, yes, of course.
- Thank you.
All right, old fella.
I'll try not to hurt you.
That's it.
Thank you.
Have you been a vet long, Mr Herriot? Not long, but don't worry.
I know enough to fix this little fellow.
Oh, dear.
Have I said the wrong thing? No, not at all.
I wasn't doubting your ability.
I was just interested, that's all.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound prickly.
It's my fault.
Would you hold his head, please, Miss Alderson? Yes, of course.
Easy.
Easy.
Right.
Here we go.
Sorry if it's hurting you, old fella.
(Cow mooing) It's his mother! She's hung around since the accident.
She can't bear to be separated from him.
She won't be much longer.
Come on, old thing.
There.
It's marvellous to see a sick animal recover.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
I'll come back in a couple of weeks and take his plaster off.
(James ) What's that mountain over there? (Helen ) That's Hiskott Fell.
And beyond it, Eddleton.
And the three to the right are Wedder Fell, Colver and Senner.
You make them sound like old friends.
I've known them all my life, Mr Herriot.
You're lucky to live here.
But I don't think you need me to tell you that.
A lot of people find it too bare and wild, especially in winter.
It almost seems to frighten them.
But I love it.
Watch your step, Mr Herriot! I'd much rather you called me James, Miss Alderson.
Only if you'll agree to call me Helen.
- Agreed.
- (Both laugh) Keep an eye on the calf and don't let him run around much.
Yes, I will.
Well That's about it, then.
Good.
I'll look forward to your next visit.
Thank you for coming, James.
Yes.
Well, goodbye Helen.
Goodbye, James.
(Dog yowling) How's it going, Tris? (Dog whining) (Shouting) God help us, James, don't ever do that again.
Nearly killed me, you did.
(Shouting) Any sign of it coming to? No.
And don't waste your sympathy on him, either.
He's as happy as a sandboy in front of that fire.
- He looks healthy enough.
- What about me? - My nerves are shot to hell.
- You'll survive.
I mean it.
Much more and you'll have to give me a shot, too.
(Dog howling) - That smells marvellous.
- Never mind food.
What are you doing to that dumb animal? It's hardly dumb, is it, Mrs Hall? Call yourselves vets and you let that poor brute suffer.
He's in no pain, Mrs Hall.
Come on.
Come on, boys.
(Dog howling) Still at it, I hear.
Have you seen if it's all right, James? Yes, it's just a question of waiting for it to come to.
Hello, Mrs Hall.
I'm here.
Someone will have to stay with it this evening.
- That someone is not me.
- I don't mind.
Steady on, James.
We have that meeting in Broughton.
- Oh, it's tonight, is it? - Yeah, afraid so.
We have old Reeves giving his star turn on sheep diseases.
- Can't miss that.
- No.
Come off it, you've heard Reeves dozens of times.
No matter how often you hear the lectures, there's always something new to be discovered.
- Pity you can't come.
- What do you mean? Someone's got to stay with that dog.
- Someone's got to eat that dinner.
- I absolutely refuse.
Stop being a prima donna and sit down.
- (Dog howling) - I said sit down.
It'll only be for a few hours, Tris.
Thanks.
Go on, you go to your meeting.
Who wants to listen to that old bore Reeves anyway? - I certainly don't.
- (Howling continues ) Aren't you worried about the effect that dog is having on Tristan? - It's all show, James.
- Broughton's the other way.
I'm fully aware of how to get to Broughton, James.
He's just trying to worm his way out of an unpleasant chore.
(James ) He's had quite a day of it.
(Siegfried) So what? It'll teach him that our job is not all romance.
- (Horn beeps ) - Do him no end of good.
You'll see.
(Whimpering) (Tristan wailing, drunkenly) # Like a plaintive melody That never lets me free I'm content TRISTAN! Ah! Ah, it is Siegfried.
Siegfried the wanderer.
Siegfried the hero.
(Dog howls) Yum-pa-da-paa-dum Yum-pa-da-paaa-dum - # Yum-pa-daa! # - Watch it, Tristan! Watch it! (James ) Sorry! Are you all right, Tris? James, what are you doing up there when I'm down here? Of the all the irresponsible What an infernal mess! Three cheers for Siegfried.
Hip, hip! Hooray! Shut up, will you? James, you'd better get him to bed.
I'll deal with him in the morning.
- What about the dog? - Right.
A decent sort of a dog when he's got his senses about him.
Can't stay here alone all night.
I suppose he'll have to spend the night in my room.
Come on, Tristan, for heaven's sake.
Come on.
- Oh, Siegfried, già di ritorno? - Aargh! Avanti, Tristan! - But James, I must pay my respects! - Come on! Ah, James.
Un meraviglioso mattino, non è vero? - How are you feeling? - Marvellous, marvellous.
Tell me, how did the meeting go? Fine.
You seem to have recovered from last night's little do.
Oh, what's an ale or two to a healthy young fellow like me? Have you seen Siegfried? He was away at the crack of dawn, in a hurry to get that dog back.
It came to late in the night, it seems.
- (Door slams ) - I do believe he's returned.
Back already? Have you cleared up that mess you made last night? - Don't I always? - You look rough, Siegfried.
- Not a wink of sleep last night.
- I slept like a log myself.
- Call that drunken stupor sleep? - Me? Drunk? You can't even do a simple little job without turning it into an orgy.
One more escapade like that and you're out.
Sacked.
There's a lady for you, Mr Farnon.
Calls herself Miss Harbottle.
Ah, yes.
Mrs Hall, show her in, show her in.
Now, you two, you're about to meet our new secretary.
- Miss Harbottle, good morning.
- Mr Farnon.
Welcome to Skeldale House.
This way, this way.
Gentlemen, Miss Harbottle.
My assistant, James Herriot.
- Miss Harbottle.
- Mr Herriot.
- My brother, Tristan.
- Delighted, Miss Harbottle.
Now, then.
Where would you like to start your inspection? The heart of any business enterprise, Mr Farnon, is surely the office.
Absolutely.
There you have it.
You call this the office? Well, the nerve centre, you might say, of our operation.
(Miss Harbottle ) I see.
And what, may I ask, is this? That is our ledger.
We enter all our visits into this from the daybook, you see.
May I see that also, please? The daybook? Yes, of course.
Sorry.
Ah! Here it is! The daybook.
(Clearing throat) There you are.
You gentlemen are going to have to learn to write if I'm to look after your books.
Yes, I've had occasion to talk to them about that before.
There are three different hands here but this is by far the worst.
Quite dreadful.
Whose is it? That one? That? That is mine.
I must have been in rather a hurry that day.
All your entries are the same, Mr Farnon.
Here.
Here.
- Won't do, you know.
- (Suppressed laughter) I expect this is where you keep the stationery.
Er n-n-no.
- James? - Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
May I ask where you keep your cash box? Ah, yes.
Yes, across the hall.
This way, Miss Harbottle.
- I don't believe it! - Shh! Come on! We don't have exactly what you'd call a cash box.
We just, er, stuff it all into this.
You mean you leave that money there day after day? It never seems to have come to any harm.
I trust the petty cash does not suffer the same cavalier treatment.
Petty cash? You do have a petty cash box, don't you? It's all in this jug, Miss Harbottle, petty or otherwise.
I don't know how you've stayed in business so long.
It's a question I often ask myself.
But will you put us on the straight and narrow? - It'll mean changing your methods.
- Exactly.
When can you start? In my opinion, Mr Farnon, the sooner, the better.
- Tomorrow? - As you wish.
Excellent.
Tomorrow, then.
Nine o'clock sharp.
- Good day, gentlemen.
- I'll see you to the door.
And I were the only Wednesday.
Sitting room, Wednesday.
Mrs Hall, isn't it? Please do not touch anything on the desk or in the drawers.
In altre circostenze può spolverare dove preferisce.
Grazie, signora Hall.
Parla la segretaria del dottor Farnon.
24 ore, James.
You know, that's all it's taken.
aaaa And this whole practice is humming like a dynamo.
aaaa E' veramente impressionante.
Una chiamata per lei, dottor Herriot.
La signora Pumphrey.
- Sembra piuttosto turbata.
- Grazie, signorina Harbottle.
Do be brief, Mr Herriot.
We must remember that most of our business comes via the telephone, mustn't we? - Yes, Miss Harbottle.
- Off you rush, James.
Oh, Uncle Herriot, thank heavens I found you in.
It's Tricki.
He's desperately ill.
And it's not flop-bot again nor at all like when he went cracker-dog.
No, he's worse.
Much worse.
Can you describe the symptoms, please? - Is he vomiting? - Yes, all the time.
And his poor lungs, they're pumping away like bellows.
Right.
I'll get up there as quickly as I can.
You are kind.
Thank you, Mr Herriot.
Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot's on his way to see you.
Oh! He's just tried to wag his tail! Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
It's Tricki-Woo.
Ring Uncle Herriot up for a chat, did he? Mrs Pumphrey did.
She's in a terrible state.
- Really? What's wrong? - Overfeeding again, I think.
I take it you've warned her about his diet, have you? Frequently.
Doesn't make a bit of difference.
I'm not treating him while he's in that house with her.
You should bring Tricki here, let him muck in with our dogs.
Do him the world of good spending time with his own kind.
That's a brilliant idea.
It might give her the jolt she needs.
Point is, will she let him go? - Take darling Tricki away? - I'm afraid so.
Desperate situations call for desperate measures.
But we've never been separated.
Not ever.
Mrs Pumphrey, he is very ill, you know.
He needs full-time care and attention.
Oh, it's all too ghastly! Delay could be fatal, Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, no! Oh, my poor darling! Try not to let him see that you're upset.
Of course.
Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot wants you to stay with him for a little while.
Now, you'll be a good boy, won't you? Do everything that Uncle tells you.
Mummy will miss you but you'll soon It won't be for very long, Tricki.
Stay with Uncle while I get your things.
I'll get him settled in the car.
(Tearfully) Oh, dear! (Clears throat) Poorly, is he? The dog, I mean.
Yes, Mr Hodgekin.
Reckon he's had his chips, do you? That's a very sick dog, Mr Hodgekin.
Aye.
How long do you reckon he's got, then? - About a week.
- Aye.
Then he'll be as right as rain.
You can have him back.
Isn't that good news? Is the poor darling all right? He's not missing me, is he? He's being a very brave boy, Mrs Pumphrey.
Of course he is.
Now, you've got all his things - his day bed, his night bed, special cushions, breakfast, lunch and supper things and his favourite shawl.
We have all we need at the surgery, Mrs Pumphrey.
Not take Tricki's things? You couldn't be so cruel! No.
No, of course he may have them.
Thank you.
Oh, Francois have you brought his hot and cold jacket? - Of course, madam.
- And his little rings? Yes, madam.
Everything is in Mr Herriot's car.
- Thank you, Francois.
- Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Goodbye, Mr Herriot.
Oh, dear.
It's all too ghastly for words.
Evening, Miss Harbottle.
(Miss Harbottle clears throat) - Yes, Miss Harbottle? - Mr Farnon.
For some days now I have endeavoured to get you to spend a little of your time on this paperwork.
- Yes, I'm sorry about that.
- It's most unbusinesslike.
Scores of queries need your attention.
Will you look at them? I'm late for surgery.
I'll deal with them later.
Anything else? As a matter of fact there is.
Fine.
I'll deal with that at the same time.
Christie, come on, Christie.
Here you are, chaps.
This is Tricki-Woo.
This is Tricki-Woo.
No, this one.
I know what you're thinking, but it is a dog.
James! Mrs Pumphrey again.
Do you want me to tell her you're out? No.
No, she's been very good today.
Only three calls so far.
Thank you.
Hello, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, Tricki is much improved today.
Yes.
Yes, he slept very well last night.
Of course he asked after you.
No, Uncle Herriot has no complaints.
Yes.
Yes, Tricki is being a very good boy.
Of course, the worst is over now.
He just needs a little time to convalesce, that's all.
Oh.
I'll let you know the moment I think he can go home.
Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, I'll tell him Mummy said that.
Yes, goodbye Yes, yes, I'll tell him.
Of course Uncle Herriot will tuck him in.
Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Uncle Herriot has the bedside manner off pat.
Uncle Herriot will do you an injury if you don't shut up.
- Wicked Uncle Herriot! - Psst! (Mouthing) I'll, erm I'll just close it, Miss Harbottle.
(Whispering) I haven't got time to see her.
I'll be late back.
Would you mind taking emergency calls? - No, Siegfried, I don't mind - Shh! And you've no idea what time I'll be back.
Understand? I thought I heard voices out here, Mr Herriot.
That was probably me on the telephone, Miss Harbottle.
Morning, Siegfried.
Morning.
- Ah! Good morning, James.
- (Yawns ) - Anything wrong, James? - Looks rather peaky, doesn't he? So would you be if you'd been through this last night.
I thought you'd be called out.
Parson's cow? Yeah.
Got herself stuck in a cesspit and went into labour.
I've been up to my neck in freezing muck all night.
I see it all.
Dedicated young vet fighting against the odds, slogging through hail, rain and muck.
- Oh, shut up! - (Door slams ) Staff's arrived.
Miss Harbottle's been trying to see the senior member of the firm for days.
(Miss Harbottle screams ) See what she wants, would you? Is something wrong, Miss Harbottle? He's been at it again! At what? Mr Farnon! I know it's you out there! It's absurd the way he tries to sneak past.
Good morning, Miss Harbottle.
Anything I can do for you? There is indeed, Mr Farnon.
Explain why you have once more emptied my petty cash box.
Oh, I am sorry about that, Miss Harbottle.
I had to rush to Broughton last night to see Mother.
I usually take her a little gift.
I suddenly found myself short of any cash.
I got into the habit in the old jug days.
And as they say, old habits die hard.
- Not to say bad habits.
- Possibly.
- It wasn't such a bad system.
- System?! It was anarchy! The point is, Mr Farnon, how am I to account for the money in my charge when you keep on stealing it? Stealing? That's rather an odd word to choose, isn't it? You don't seem to realise, Mr Farnon, that money is not yours.
- Oh? - It is the firm's.
The firm's assets, Mr Farnon.
Well, never mind.
Simply go to the bank and draw out enough to cover the loss.
All right? Good.
(Clears throat) There are several other matters Ah, yes, but I have a long list of calls waiting for me.
(Clears throat) These medical terms you use.
Would you oblige me by writing them legibly and not please scribble? - (Dogs barking) - Grub up! Come on, everybody! (Whistles ) Come on.
Stick to your own bowl.
My word, James, he does look fit.
He's been squashed by our lot, nipped by barn rats He's having the time of his life! How's Mrs Pumphrey managing without him? She rings about six times a day.
Aha.
You can't stall her much longer, you know.
Well, I'll give Tricki a few days more and then we'll see.
(Door slams ) Hello.
- Hello, James.
- Something's arrived for you.
- Special delivery.
- Oh.
It's from Fortnum and Mason's.
There's a card with it.
Oh.
From Mrs Pumphrey.
Aren't you going to read it out? I told you, it's from Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, James, really.
"To darling Tricki-Woo and Uncle Herriot with love.
"Mummy's two favourite boys.
" Ahh! - 80-year-old brandy.
- (Tristan ) You've struck gold.
There are three of those.
Tristan? - Port.
- Careful! Careful with it! James, treat it gently.
Graham's, 1920.
All the more reason to treat it with exquisite care.
Three of those, too.
Quails' eggs.
Honey.
Caviar - Beluga.
- James.
- Truffles in aspic.
When are you taking Tricki back? I don't know.
After tomorrow's surgery, I expect.
Seems almost a pity, doesn't it? - Yes.
- Ah.
I think it appropriate that Uncle Herriot proposes a toast.
Erm to Tricki-Woo.
May his blood forever need enriching.
(All) To Tricki-Woo.
God bless him.
Mr Herriot, madam.
Oh! (All) # For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow and so say all of us - Hip, hip! - Hooray! - Hip, hip! - Hooray! Tricki, darling, you're home! Oh, Mr Herriot, how can I ever thank you? This is a triumph of surgery.
Francois.
There you are, my darling.
Your special cushion.
- And champagne for Mr Herriot.
- Madam.
Congratulations, young fellow.
Splendid achievement.
Really splendid.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Francois? The big glass.
Mrs Pumphrey, it's very naughty of you not to have warned me.
Well, you might have let Tricki know.
That wouldn't have done at all, now, would it? There you are.
Drink up, Mr Herriot.
- Thank you.
- Francois.
Keep your eye on Mr Herriot.
See that his glass is always full - and that he has plenty to eat.
- Certainly, madam.
My most grateful thanks to you, Mr Herriot.
Your very good health, Mrs Pumphrey.
- Oh, and to Tricki.
- (Man ) Oh, Tricki, yes.
Mrs Pumphrey, what is that man doing? Oh, dear, now, please forgive me.
It's just Tricki's special welcome home treat.
Take away half the meat and all the cake.
Then I'll forgive you.
Of course.
Of course I will.
Now, my darling, Uncle Herriot says he doesn't want You must take that one away.
Let him have some of that.
Ah.
Thank you, Francois.
Thank you.
Mr Herriot! Are you there, Mr Herriot? (James ) Yes, Mrs Hall.
Mr Dixon, Top End Farm.
He's got a foal that's poorly.
Caught itself on a nail or summat.
I'm half dead.
Isn't Mr Farnon in? - He's out visiting his mother.
- Oh, is he? You'd better hurry, Mr Herriot.
- That colt's bleeding badly.
- All right, I'm going.
- You're never going like that! - Oh, yes I am.
Dressed naked with no proper clothes on? Whatever next? You said it was urgent, didn't you? You know best what you're doing, Mr Herriot.
Good night.
What's good about it, Mrs Hall? - He's here.
- About time.
- What kept you? - I came as quick as I could.
- How is she? - She's lost a lot of blood.
I reckon her neck vein's ruptured.
It's a nasty cut.
What happened? It's the first time she'd been away from her mother.
She went crazy, banging and crashing round t'barn.
Woke up the house, she did.
She got herself caught on t'nail in t'wall.
The first thing to do is stop that bleeding.
- Is there water handy? - It's cold.
From t'well.
That's fine, thanks.
Do you reckon you can stop t'bleeding? Yes.
I'll negate the artery, then stitch her up.
She's not lost too much blood, has she? No, she's a good, strong animal.
I reckon she'll pull through.
God help us.
What's this? Falderals, is it? It's my night attire, Mr Dixon.
I saw a fellow like you last year.
Bradford Alhambra.
Same suit exactly, with a striped hat and a cane.
(Laughs ) Did a champion little dance, he did.
- Oh, allow me.
- Thank you.
It's not often I get the chance to help an artiste with his costume.
I suppose every farmer around will hear about this episode.
It's not every day we get a Kentucky minstrel to tend stock.
I'm not here to entertain! Seeing you like that brought it fresh to t'mind.
It's all part of the service, Mr Dixon.
(Whistling cheerfully) Good morning, Helen.
Hope you don't mind me calling so early.
Morning, James.
No, of course not.
I didn't expect to see you for three days yet.
I thought I'd look in to see how it is.
- See how what is, James? - Well, the calf.
Oh, the calf! It's fine.
Plaster's just about ready to come off, I think.
Perhaps I'd better take a look at it.
Just in case.
Well, if you insist.
But Father's moved it to one of the Earlsdale barns, about four miles from here.
Are you sure you want to take the trouble? I don't mind if you don't.
Well, it's awfully inconvenient just now.
I'm right in the middle of family breakfast.
Oh.
Would you like to come in? No, I don't think so.
I'm not really dressed for the occasion.
Helen, I'll leave it for now and come as arranged on Friday.
- How about that? - If you like.
Sorry to have butted in so early.
Well, it is rather.
And you are welcome to stay.
No, no.
I'll see you on Friday.
Goodbye, James.
Bye, Helen.
It's amazing what you hear on your rounds.
- Oh, what's that? - Well the whole county's buzzing with rumours about, um a vagrant minstrel masquerading as a vet.
Some of the folk think he was an escaped convict.
- Heard anything about it? - Not you, too.
Mr Farnon, I really must protest.
Ah, Miss Harbottle, I was just on my way to see you.
- I have asked you repeatedly - Yes.
Just one or two little points I wanted to discuss.
First of all, your petty cash box.
It's a very nice little box as boxes go but the function of a cash box is to have cash in it, agreed? - Precisely.
- Quite.
Last evening I had two paying customers.
They wanted to pay cash and I had no change.
And your cash box was quite empty.
It doesn't look good, that.
But you removed the entire contents! Please hear me out, Miss Harbottle.
It is now the tenth of the month and the accounts have still not gone out.
That is a very undesirable state of affairs.
You won't check them with me! I've almost finished.
It hurts me to have to speak like this, for I am in general pleased with your progress since you joined us.
But if you'll just tighten up on these one or two points, then I'm sure that we shall have here a thoroughly efficient business.
Remember, Miss Harbottle, efficiency.
That's what we need.
- (Gasps ) - You agree.
Thank you, Miss Harbottle.
That is all.
(Exasperated sigh) Pass the cheese, please, James.
Thank you.
Biscuit, Siegfried? Good of you, Tristan.
(Door slams ) Staff seems to have gone to lunch.
I couldn't have done better.
You students can learn a lot from watching us professionals.
Come on.
Let's get him on a blanket.
That's it.
- He wants to see you.
- "He", Mrs Hall? Mr Farnon.
He wants to see both of you.
- What does he want? - He says it won't wait.
- Now what? - I don't know.
Mind you, Siegfried has been in one of those silent moods all morning.
That means he's brooding.
You haven't been up to something, have you? I don't know.
Have I? We'd better find out, hadn't we? (Siegfried) Ah, there you are.
- What's wrong, Siegfried? - Everything.
Look at all this.
Mess, confusion, chaos.
Well, it's got to stop.
You're in charge of the paperwork around here.
We remember the awful shambles you made of taking care of the bills last month.
- We're still on about that? - No.
It's a past grievance.
You brought the subject up.
You're never going to be asked to do it again.
In fact None of us will ever have to do it again.
We're going to have a secretary.
- A secretary? - Yes.
A dedicated expert who'll sort out the mess you lot make of the business end of things.
- And you have chosen one.
- Yes, I have.
Miss Harbottle.
She comes highly recommended from Green and Moulten's of Bradford.
She was their company secretary, no less.
- Is she young? - Certainly not.
We don't want some flighty young piece batting her eyelashes.
Why not, if she can do the work? If you think I'd have an attractive woman around with you in this house, you're mad.
You'd never leave her alone.
- I'm no worse than you.
- It's you we're talking about! When do we meet her, Siegfried? Tomorrow.
She's coming to inspect the office.
So I expect you two to give her your full cooperation.
God, what the hell is it? There's an awful noise coming from surgery.
The dog! Must be coming out of his anaesthetic.
That's all right, Mrs Hall.
Come on, James.
We'll go and see it.
(Dog whining) That noise gives me the creeps.
I've seen this before.
General anaesthetic does affect some dogs like this.
It could be straightforward or it could be the onset of a more complex reaction.
- We have to wait and see.
- Is there anything we can do? No, just keep a careful watch.
What a racket.
Can't leave it alone.
Someone must stay with it.
I can't.
I'm seeing a calf at Heston Grange Farm.
Yes, nor can I.
I've got a hell of a list this afternoon.
- (Dog howling) - Tristan! I've got a job for you! (Horn beeps ) (Knocks on door) Hello? Anyone home? (Woman ) Just a minute! Hello.
Hello.
I'm sorry I couldn't let you in.
My hands were covered in flour.
Oh, that's all right.
My name's Herriot.
James Herriot.
Oh! Siegfried Farnon's new assistant.
Oh, I've heard all about you.
You're the one who said Mr Handshaw's cow would never walk again.
Bad news travels fast, I see.
Sorry.
I didn't mean to offend you.
Oh, idle gossip doesn't offend me in the slightest.
You should be pleased! That little incident will keep Mr Handshaw happy for weeks.
Is Mr Alderson about? I understand he has a sick calf.
Yes.
But my father and the men are out in the fields.
- Can you wait a minute? - Of course.
I'll just see to the dough and, er, then we'll be off.
Oh I'm Helen Alderson, by the way.
I was on the bus the day you arrived at Darrowby.
The calf is in one of the hill pastures.
Look, you can see it from here.
I'll take your word for it.
We're in for a bit of a walk, I'm afraid.
Oh, I don't mind.
I don't mind in the least.
Poor little thing.
Misses his mother.
It's all right, little fella.
It's all right.
It's all right.
Easy, easy.
How did it happen? Fell down a slope chasing after his mum.
Is anything broken? A clean fracture of the metacarpus.
He should do well with a plaster on it.
Could I have some water, please? - Oh, yes, of course.
- Thank you.
All right, old fella.
I'll try not to hurt you.
That's it.
Thank you.
Have you been a vet long, Mr Herriot? Not long, but don't worry.
I know enough to fix this little fellow.
Oh, dear.
Have I said the wrong thing? No, not at all.
I wasn't doubting your ability.
I was just interested, that's all.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to sound prickly.
It's my fault.
Would you hold his head, please, Miss Alderson? Yes, of course.
Easy.
Easy.
Right.
Here we go.
Sorry if it's hurting you, old fella.
(Cow mooing) It's his mother! She's hung around since the accident.
She can't bear to be separated from him.
She won't be much longer.
Come on, old thing.
There.
It's marvellous to see a sick animal recover.
Yes.
Yes, it is.
I'll come back in a couple of weeks and take his plaster off.
(James ) What's that mountain over there? (Helen ) That's Hiskott Fell.
And beyond it, Eddleton.
And the three to the right are Wedder Fell, Colver and Senner.
You make them sound like old friends.
I've known them all my life, Mr Herriot.
You're lucky to live here.
But I don't think you need me to tell you that.
A lot of people find it too bare and wild, especially in winter.
It almost seems to frighten them.
But I love it.
Watch your step, Mr Herriot! I'd much rather you called me James, Miss Alderson.
Only if you'll agree to call me Helen.
- Agreed.
- (Both laugh) Keep an eye on the calf and don't let him run around much.
Yes, I will.
Well That's about it, then.
Good.
I'll look forward to your next visit.
Thank you for coming, James.
Yes.
Well, goodbye Helen.
Goodbye, James.
(Dog yowling) How's it going, Tris? (Dog whining) (Shouting) God help us, James, don't ever do that again.
Nearly killed me, you did.
(Shouting) Any sign of it coming to? No.
And don't waste your sympathy on him, either.
He's as happy as a sandboy in front of that fire.
- He looks healthy enough.
- What about me? - My nerves are shot to hell.
- You'll survive.
I mean it.
Much more and you'll have to give me a shot, too.
(Dog howling) - That smells marvellous.
- Never mind food.
What are you doing to that dumb animal? It's hardly dumb, is it, Mrs Hall? Call yourselves vets and you let that poor brute suffer.
He's in no pain, Mrs Hall.
Come on.
Come on, boys.
(Dog howling) Still at it, I hear.
Have you seen if it's all right, James? Yes, it's just a question of waiting for it to come to.
Hello, Mrs Hall.
I'm here.
Someone will have to stay with it this evening.
- That someone is not me.
- I don't mind.
Steady on, James.
We have that meeting in Broughton.
- Oh, it's tonight, is it? - Yeah, afraid so.
We have old Reeves giving his star turn on sheep diseases.
- Can't miss that.
- No.
Come off it, you've heard Reeves dozens of times.
No matter how often you hear the lectures, there's always something new to be discovered.
- Pity you can't come.
- What do you mean? Someone's got to stay with that dog.
- Someone's got to eat that dinner.
- I absolutely refuse.
Stop being a prima donna and sit down.
- (Dog howling) - I said sit down.
It'll only be for a few hours, Tris.
Thanks.
Go on, you go to your meeting.
Who wants to listen to that old bore Reeves anyway? - I certainly don't.
- (Howling continues ) Aren't you worried about the effect that dog is having on Tristan? - It's all show, James.
- Broughton's the other way.
I'm fully aware of how to get to Broughton, James.
He's just trying to worm his way out of an unpleasant chore.
(James ) He's had quite a day of it.
(Siegfried) So what? It'll teach him that our job is not all romance.
- (Horn beeps ) - Do him no end of good.
You'll see.
(Whimpering) (Tristan wailing, drunkenly) # Like a plaintive melody That never lets me free I'm content TRISTAN! Ah! Ah, it is Siegfried.
Siegfried the wanderer.
Siegfried the hero.
(Dog howls) Yum-pa-da-paa-dum Yum-pa-da-paaa-dum - # Yum-pa-daa! # - Watch it, Tristan! Watch it! (James ) Sorry! Are you all right, Tris? James, what are you doing up there when I'm down here? Of the all the irresponsible What an infernal mess! Three cheers for Siegfried.
Hip, hip! Hooray! Shut up, will you? James, you'd better get him to bed.
I'll deal with him in the morning.
- What about the dog? - Right.
A decent sort of a dog when he's got his senses about him.
Can't stay here alone all night.
I suppose he'll have to spend the night in my room.
Come on, Tristan, for heaven's sake.
Come on.
- Oh, Siegfried, già di ritorno? - Aargh! Avanti, Tristan! - But James, I must pay my respects! - Come on! Ah, James.
Un meraviglioso mattino, non è vero? - How are you feeling? - Marvellous, marvellous.
Tell me, how did the meeting go? Fine.
You seem to have recovered from last night's little do.
Oh, what's an ale or two to a healthy young fellow like me? Have you seen Siegfried? He was away at the crack of dawn, in a hurry to get that dog back.
It came to late in the night, it seems.
- (Door slams ) - I do believe he's returned.
Back already? Have you cleared up that mess you made last night? - Don't I always? - You look rough, Siegfried.
- Not a wink of sleep last night.
- I slept like a log myself.
- Call that drunken stupor sleep? - Me? Drunk? You can't even do a simple little job without turning it into an orgy.
One more escapade like that and you're out.
Sacked.
There's a lady for you, Mr Farnon.
Calls herself Miss Harbottle.
Ah, yes.
Mrs Hall, show her in, show her in.
Now, you two, you're about to meet our new secretary.
- Miss Harbottle, good morning.
- Mr Farnon.
Welcome to Skeldale House.
This way, this way.
Gentlemen, Miss Harbottle.
My assistant, James Herriot.
- Miss Harbottle.
- Mr Herriot.
- My brother, Tristan.
- Delighted, Miss Harbottle.
Now, then.
Where would you like to start your inspection? The heart of any business enterprise, Mr Farnon, is surely the office.
Absolutely.
There you have it.
You call this the office? Well, the nerve centre, you might say, of our operation.
(Miss Harbottle ) I see.
And what, may I ask, is this? That is our ledger.
We enter all our visits into this from the daybook, you see.
May I see that also, please? The daybook? Yes, of course.
Sorry.
Ah! Here it is! The daybook.
(Clearing throat) There you are.
You gentlemen are going to have to learn to write if I'm to look after your books.
Yes, I've had occasion to talk to them about that before.
There are three different hands here but this is by far the worst.
Quite dreadful.
Whose is it? That one? That? That is mine.
I must have been in rather a hurry that day.
All your entries are the same, Mr Farnon.
Here.
Here.
- Won't do, you know.
- (Suppressed laughter) I expect this is where you keep the stationery.
Er n-n-no.
- James? - Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
May I ask where you keep your cash box? Ah, yes.
Yes, across the hall.
This way, Miss Harbottle.
- I don't believe it! - Shh! Come on! We don't have exactly what you'd call a cash box.
We just, er, stuff it all into this.
You mean you leave that money there day after day? It never seems to have come to any harm.
I trust the petty cash does not suffer the same cavalier treatment.
Petty cash? You do have a petty cash box, don't you? It's all in this jug, Miss Harbottle, petty or otherwise.
I don't know how you've stayed in business so long.
It's a question I often ask myself.
But will you put us on the straight and narrow? - It'll mean changing your methods.
- Exactly.
When can you start? In my opinion, Mr Farnon, the sooner, the better.
- Tomorrow? - As you wish.
Excellent.
Tomorrow, then.
Nine o'clock sharp.
- Good day, gentlemen.
- I'll see you to the door.
And I were the only Wednesday.
Sitting room, Wednesday.
Mrs Hall, isn't it? Please do not touch anything on the desk or in the drawers.
In altre circostenze può spolverare dove preferisce.
Grazie, signora Hall.
Parla la segretaria del dottor Farnon.
24 ore, James.
You know, that's all it's taken.
aaaa And this whole practice is humming like a dynamo.
aaaa E' veramente impressionante.
Una chiamata per lei, dottor Herriot.
La signora Pumphrey.
- Sembra piuttosto turbata.
- Grazie, signorina Harbottle.
Do be brief, Mr Herriot.
We must remember that most of our business comes via the telephone, mustn't we? - Yes, Miss Harbottle.
- Off you rush, James.
Oh, Uncle Herriot, thank heavens I found you in.
It's Tricki.
He's desperately ill.
And it's not flop-bot again nor at all like when he went cracker-dog.
No, he's worse.
Much worse.
Can you describe the symptoms, please? - Is he vomiting? - Yes, all the time.
And his poor lungs, they're pumping away like bellows.
Right.
I'll get up there as quickly as I can.
You are kind.
Thank you, Mr Herriot.
Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot's on his way to see you.
Oh! He's just tried to wag his tail! Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
It's Tricki-Woo.
Ring Uncle Herriot up for a chat, did he? Mrs Pumphrey did.
She's in a terrible state.
- Really? What's wrong? - Overfeeding again, I think.
I take it you've warned her about his diet, have you? Frequently.
Doesn't make a bit of difference.
I'm not treating him while he's in that house with her.
You should bring Tricki here, let him muck in with our dogs.
Do him the world of good spending time with his own kind.
That's a brilliant idea.
It might give her the jolt she needs.
Point is, will she let him go? - Take darling Tricki away? - I'm afraid so.
Desperate situations call for desperate measures.
But we've never been separated.
Not ever.
Mrs Pumphrey, he is very ill, you know.
He needs full-time care and attention.
Oh, it's all too ghastly! Delay could be fatal, Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, no! Oh, my poor darling! Try not to let him see that you're upset.
Of course.
Tricki, darling, Uncle Herriot wants you to stay with him for a little while.
Now, you'll be a good boy, won't you? Do everything that Uncle tells you.
Mummy will miss you but you'll soon It won't be for very long, Tricki.
Stay with Uncle while I get your things.
I'll get him settled in the car.
(Tearfully) Oh, dear! (Clears throat) Poorly, is he? The dog, I mean.
Yes, Mr Hodgekin.
Reckon he's had his chips, do you? That's a very sick dog, Mr Hodgekin.
Aye.
How long do you reckon he's got, then? - About a week.
- Aye.
Then he'll be as right as rain.
You can have him back.
Isn't that good news? Is the poor darling all right? He's not missing me, is he? He's being a very brave boy, Mrs Pumphrey.
Of course he is.
Now, you've got all his things - his day bed, his night bed, special cushions, breakfast, lunch and supper things and his favourite shawl.
We have all we need at the surgery, Mrs Pumphrey.
Not take Tricki's things? You couldn't be so cruel! No.
No, of course he may have them.
Thank you.
Oh, Francois have you brought his hot and cold jacket? - Of course, madam.
- And his little rings? Yes, madam.
Everything is in Mr Herriot's car.
- Thank you, Francois.
- Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Goodbye, Mr Herriot.
Oh, dear.
It's all too ghastly for words.
Evening, Miss Harbottle.
(Miss Harbottle clears throat) - Yes, Miss Harbottle? - Mr Farnon.
For some days now I have endeavoured to get you to spend a little of your time on this paperwork.
- Yes, I'm sorry about that.
- It's most unbusinesslike.
Scores of queries need your attention.
Will you look at them? I'm late for surgery.
I'll deal with them later.
Anything else? As a matter of fact there is.
Fine.
I'll deal with that at the same time.
Christie, come on, Christie.
Here you are, chaps.
This is Tricki-Woo.
This is Tricki-Woo.
No, this one.
I know what you're thinking, but it is a dog.
James! Mrs Pumphrey again.
Do you want me to tell her you're out? No.
No, she's been very good today.
Only three calls so far.
Thank you.
Hello, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, Tricki is much improved today.
Yes.
Yes, he slept very well last night.
Of course he asked after you.
No, Uncle Herriot has no complaints.
Yes.
Yes, Tricki is being a very good boy.
Of course, the worst is over now.
He just needs a little time to convalesce, that's all.
Oh.
I'll let you know the moment I think he can go home.
Thank you, Mrs Pumphrey.
Yes, I'll tell him Mummy said that.
Yes, goodbye Yes, yes, I'll tell him.
Of course Uncle Herriot will tuck him in.
Goodbye, Mrs Pumphrey.
Uncle Herriot has the bedside manner off pat.
Uncle Herriot will do you an injury if you don't shut up.
- Wicked Uncle Herriot! - Psst! (Mouthing) I'll, erm I'll just close it, Miss Harbottle.
(Whispering) I haven't got time to see her.
I'll be late back.
Would you mind taking emergency calls? - No, Siegfried, I don't mind - Shh! And you've no idea what time I'll be back.
Understand? I thought I heard voices out here, Mr Herriot.
That was probably me on the telephone, Miss Harbottle.
Morning, Siegfried.
Morning.
- Ah! Good morning, James.
- (Yawns ) - Anything wrong, James? - Looks rather peaky, doesn't he? So would you be if you'd been through this last night.
I thought you'd be called out.
Parson's cow? Yeah.
Got herself stuck in a cesspit and went into labour.
I've been up to my neck in freezing muck all night.
I see it all.
Dedicated young vet fighting against the odds, slogging through hail, rain and muck.
- Oh, shut up! - (Door slams ) Staff's arrived.
Miss Harbottle's been trying to see the senior member of the firm for days.
(Miss Harbottle screams ) See what she wants, would you? Is something wrong, Miss Harbottle? He's been at it again! At what? Mr Farnon! I know it's you out there! It's absurd the way he tries to sneak past.
Good morning, Miss Harbottle.
Anything I can do for you? There is indeed, Mr Farnon.
Explain why you have once more emptied my petty cash box.
Oh, I am sorry about that, Miss Harbottle.
I had to rush to Broughton last night to see Mother.
I usually take her a little gift.
I suddenly found myself short of any cash.
I got into the habit in the old jug days.
And as they say, old habits die hard.
- Not to say bad habits.
- Possibly.
- It wasn't such a bad system.
- System?! It was anarchy! The point is, Mr Farnon, how am I to account for the money in my charge when you keep on stealing it? Stealing? That's rather an odd word to choose, isn't it? You don't seem to realise, Mr Farnon, that money is not yours.
- Oh? - It is the firm's.
The firm's assets, Mr Farnon.
Well, never mind.
Simply go to the bank and draw out enough to cover the loss.
All right? Good.
(Clears throat) There are several other matters Ah, yes, but I have a long list of calls waiting for me.
(Clears throat) These medical terms you use.
Would you oblige me by writing them legibly and not please scribble? - (Dogs barking) - Grub up! Come on, everybody! (Whistles ) Come on.
Stick to your own bowl.
My word, James, he does look fit.
He's been squashed by our lot, nipped by barn rats He's having the time of his life! How's Mrs Pumphrey managing without him? She rings about six times a day.
Aha.
You can't stall her much longer, you know.
Well, I'll give Tricki a few days more and then we'll see.
(Door slams ) Hello.
- Hello, James.
- Something's arrived for you.
- Special delivery.
- Oh.
It's from Fortnum and Mason's.
There's a card with it.
Oh.
From Mrs Pumphrey.
Aren't you going to read it out? I told you, it's from Mrs Pumphrey.
Oh, James, really.
"To darling Tricki-Woo and Uncle Herriot with love.
"Mummy's two favourite boys.
" Ahh! - 80-year-old brandy.
- (Tristan ) You've struck gold.
There are three of those.
Tristan? - Port.
- Careful! Careful with it! James, treat it gently.
Graham's, 1920.
All the more reason to treat it with exquisite care.
Three of those, too.
Quails' eggs.
Honey.
Caviar - Beluga.
- James.
- Truffles in aspic.
When are you taking Tricki back? I don't know.
After tomorrow's surgery, I expect.
Seems almost a pity, doesn't it? - Yes.
- Ah.
I think it appropriate that Uncle Herriot proposes a toast.
Erm to Tricki-Woo.
May his blood forever need enriching.
(All) To Tricki-Woo.
God bless him.
Mr Herriot, madam.
Oh! (All) # For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow For he's a jolly good fellow and so say all of us - Hip, hip! - Hooray! - Hip, hip! - Hooray! Tricki, darling, you're home! Oh, Mr Herriot, how can I ever thank you? This is a triumph of surgery.
Francois.
There you are, my darling.
Your special cushion.
- And champagne for Mr Herriot.
- Madam.
Congratulations, young fellow.
Splendid achievement.
Really splendid.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Oh, no.
No, no, no, no.
Francois? The big glass.
Mrs Pumphrey, it's very naughty of you not to have warned me.
Well, you might have let Tricki know.
That wouldn't have done at all, now, would it? There you are.
Drink up, Mr Herriot.
- Thank you.
- Francois.
Keep your eye on Mr Herriot.
See that his glass is always full - and that he has plenty to eat.
- Certainly, madam.
My most grateful thanks to you, Mr Herriot.
Your very good health, Mrs Pumphrey.
- Oh, and to Tricki.
- (Man ) Oh, Tricki, yes.
Mrs Pumphrey, what is that man doing? Oh, dear, now, please forgive me.
It's just Tricki's special welcome home treat.
Take away half the meat and all the cake.
Then I'll forgive you.
Of course.
Of course I will.
Now, my darling, Uncle Herriot says he doesn't want You must take that one away.
Let him have some of that.
Ah.
Thank you, Francois.
Thank you.
Mr Herriot! Are you there, Mr Herriot? (James ) Yes, Mrs Hall.
Mr Dixon, Top End Farm.
He's got a foal that's poorly.
Caught itself on a nail or summat.
I'm half dead.
Isn't Mr Farnon in? - He's out visiting his mother.
- Oh, is he? You'd better hurry, Mr Herriot.
- That colt's bleeding badly.
- All right, I'm going.
- You're never going like that! - Oh, yes I am.
Dressed naked with no proper clothes on? Whatever next? You said it was urgent, didn't you? You know best what you're doing, Mr Herriot.
Good night.
What's good about it, Mrs Hall? - He's here.
- About time.
- What kept you? - I came as quick as I could.
- How is she? - She's lost a lot of blood.
I reckon her neck vein's ruptured.
It's a nasty cut.
What happened? It's the first time she'd been away from her mother.
She went crazy, banging and crashing round t'barn.
Woke up the house, she did.
She got herself caught on t'nail in t'wall.
The first thing to do is stop that bleeding.
- Is there water handy? - It's cold.
From t'well.
That's fine, thanks.
Do you reckon you can stop t'bleeding? Yes.
I'll negate the artery, then stitch her up.
She's not lost too much blood, has she? No, she's a good, strong animal.
I reckon she'll pull through.
God help us.
What's this? Falderals, is it? It's my night attire, Mr Dixon.
I saw a fellow like you last year.
Bradford Alhambra.
Same suit exactly, with a striped hat and a cane.
(Laughs ) Did a champion little dance, he did.
- Oh, allow me.
- Thank you.
It's not often I get the chance to help an artiste with his costume.
I suppose every farmer around will hear about this episode.
It's not every day we get a Kentucky minstrel to tend stock.
I'm not here to entertain! Seeing you like that brought it fresh to t'mind.
It's all part of the service, Mr Dixon.
(Whistling cheerfully) Good morning, Helen.
Hope you don't mind me calling so early.
Morning, James.
No, of course not.
I didn't expect to see you for three days yet.
I thought I'd look in to see how it is.
- See how what is, James? - Well, the calf.
Oh, the calf! It's fine.
Plaster's just about ready to come off, I think.
Perhaps I'd better take a look at it.
Just in case.
Well, if you insist.
But Father's moved it to one of the Earlsdale barns, about four miles from here.
Are you sure you want to take the trouble? I don't mind if you don't.
Well, it's awfully inconvenient just now.
I'm right in the middle of family breakfast.
Oh.
Would you like to come in? No, I don't think so.
I'm not really dressed for the occasion.
Helen, I'll leave it for now and come as arranged on Friday.
- How about that? - If you like.
Sorry to have butted in so early.
Well, it is rather.
And you are welcome to stay.
No, no.
I'll see you on Friday.
Goodbye, James.
Bye, Helen.
It's amazing what you hear on your rounds.
- Oh, what's that? - Well the whole county's buzzing with rumours about, um a vagrant minstrel masquerading as a vet.
Some of the folk think he was an escaped convict.
- Heard anything about it? - Not you, too.
Mr Farnon, I really must protest.
Ah, Miss Harbottle, I was just on my way to see you.
- I have asked you repeatedly - Yes.
Just one or two little points I wanted to discuss.
First of all, your petty cash box.
It's a very nice little box as boxes go but the function of a cash box is to have cash in it, agreed? - Precisely.
- Quite.
Last evening I had two paying customers.
They wanted to pay cash and I had no change.
And your cash box was quite empty.
It doesn't look good, that.
But you removed the entire contents! Please hear me out, Miss Harbottle.
It is now the tenth of the month and the accounts have still not gone out.
That is a very undesirable state of affairs.
You won't check them with me! I've almost finished.
It hurts me to have to speak like this, for I am in general pleased with your progress since you joined us.
But if you'll just tighten up on these one or two points, then I'm sure that we shall have here a thoroughly efficient business.
Remember, Miss Harbottle, efficiency.
That's what we need.
- (Gasps ) - You agree.
Thank you, Miss Harbottle.
That is all.
(Exasperated sigh) Pass the cheese, please, James.
Thank you.
Biscuit, Siegfried? Good of you, Tristan.
(Door slams ) Staff seems to have gone to lunch.