Amphibia (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Uh, help! Somebody help me!
And this bad boy
is my kitty Domino.
You guys would like her. She's got fire.
Aw, she's so tiny!
I feel huge!
Hmm. I will set her free!
Please stop doing that.
What is that? Did something crawl
under the house and die?
Worse, Anne. Much worse.
Hop Pop is cooking!
- Brace yourself.
- Brace myself for what?
What's the plan this year, Hop Pop?
Poison the competition?
Ooh! The plan is to win.
- Win?
- The annual village potluck.
Every year we frogs gather
for a great contest.
The family who brings
the best-tasting dish
is showered with love and copper coins.
The family with the worst-tasting dish
spends the night in
the shame cage!
Brutal.
And guess which family
ends up there every year.
If you think I'm gonna let my favorite
froggy family end up in a cage,
you've got another thing coming.
I know I'm not technically a Plantar,
but maybe I can help.
Anne, we'd sure appreciate it.
So, what you making over there, Hop Pop?
Sock gumbo?
No, silly. It's a traditional recipe
from my family's cook book.
We been using this baby
since I was a pollywog.
I think I found your problem, guys.
Old things are dumb!
Oh, that makes sense.
It's all so clear now.
But we Plantars have always cooked
these recipes.
What would my great-gam-gam say?
She'd say "Move on."
She was a fierce woman.
Look, if we're gonna win this thing,
we need something new,
something revolutionary,
something no one in the swamp
has ever seen before.
Something like
Pizza!
I don't know what it is, but I love it.
Pizza is the ultimate dish.
You haven't lived until you've shared one
with your friends at the mall.
Now, now, hold on.
Before we get carried away,
what about this tried-and-true recipe?
Swamp mold pot pie!
Pizza! Pizza!
Okay, okay. Sheesh!
We'll win for sure with this, Hop Pop.
Now all we gotta do is
All we gotta do is get four ingredients.
Dough, cheese, basil, and tomatoes.
Are you guys ready to make
our pizza dreams a pizza reality?
Pizza dreams!
Maybe we should put pineapple on it.
Seems like a natural fit.
Don't you dare talk about
pineapple on my pizza.
Ever.
Okay. Let's go get those ingredients.
Pizza dreams!
Pizza dreams.
Pizza dreams!
If you want the dough,
the boy has to marry my daughter.
Hi, Sprig.
- Ain't she adorable?
- Done.
You know, if we used a traditional recipe,
we wouldn't have to sell Sprig.
No! That old book is old.
Sprig's eternal happiness is a small price
to pay for pizza.
- Agreed.
- Aw, it's not so bad.
Maybe we'll learn to love each other
I've seen your death in my mind.
I was kinda hoping it'd be a surprise.
It will be.
Congratulations on your new son.
Now cough up the dough.
Yay!
Pleasure doing business with ya.
Well, looks like we gotta go.
See ya.
I wanna be the maid of honor!
See you soon, hubby.
Thanks again for helping me out!
I know Brutus can be a handful.
What are we here for again?
Cheese!
You know,
there's a recipe in here
that doesn't need cheese.
No old recipes!
Hey, Brutus! Over here!
Toro! Toro!
Oh, come on!
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Here you go, deary.
A hunk of cheese
made fresh from the milk of those ca
Please don't tell me where it comes from.
Hey, careful with that basil, dude.
We had to fight off like ten giant aphids
to get it.
Who knew ultimate flavor
could be so painful?
Almost lost my behind to those things.
- This is the price of progress, Hop Pop.
- Exactly.
And we've only got one ingredient left.
Tomatoes.
According to this,
they should be up ahead.
Still can't believe I traded
my favorite dentures for that map.
You know, I've never
actually tasted a tomato.
No one in town really sells them.
There's a reason for that.
They're in the
"dangerous vegetables" section.
It suggests we go for prunes instead.
Can't go wrong with prunes!
Whoa-whoa. "Dangerous vegetables"?
Come on!
- Ho
- Ly
Tomato.
You know, this baby's
got some great substitutes,
all of which are delightfully harmless.
Couldn't hurt to hear a few options.
Hold on!
Guys, the shame cage
isn't just in the town square.
It's up here.
You're not gonna change the world
without taking a few risks.
We need to be bold, groundbreaking, brave!
Anne, there's a big difference
between courage and stupidity!
Hop Pop!
My fiancée was right!
Holy smokes! Acid!
Well, at least the ingredients are safe.
No!
The ingredients!
Everything we've worked for!
At least it'll be a quick, painless death.
Why would this be painless?
Just let me have this lie!
My revolutionary ideas were supposed
to save you guys, not get you killed.
I shouldn't have so stubborn.
I just really wanted
to share a pizza with you guys.
Ah, I didn't care
about that pizza stuff anyway.
But you were really trying
to help this family out,
and that's worth something in my book.
Your book? That's it.
Is there anything in the old ways
that could help us right now?
Well, I don't know.
Nothing especially useful.
Just that the throat
of this giant tomato plant
is absolutely delicious eaten raw.
Know your place, plant!
There isn't much time.
Let's go home and make
one of your old recipes, Hop Pop.
Yup. But maybe we can spruce it up with
something a little dangerous.
Yup. Still up here. Still need help.
Put it right over here.
Just a little touch of goodness.
A few more bug legs should do it.
Is that fly gonna say up there?
Perfect.
Alright! Let the annual potluck begin!
Let's get to tasting those dishes.
Mmm! That is "scrumptious".
Oh! Ooh! What have we here?
Oh, that is delicious!
Yeah! Excellent effort!
And last, but not least
The Plantars.
What filth have you cooked up this ti
Hmm? Tomato?
That's awfully dangerous.
Why, I do declare!
This is the best dish the Plantar family
has ever brought to a potluck!
What?
What? Did we do it? Did we actually win?
Win? No! No.
Oh, it's better than usual,
but it's still terrible.
Last place, as usual.
You folks should know the way
to the shame cage by now.
Hurry along. All right, boys, light it up.
Cheer up, guys.
Sure we came in last. Again.
But thanks to Anne's new ideas
and Hop Pop's old ones,
we've done the best we've ever done.
- You know, he's right.
- Yeah!
We did, didn't we?
Uh, this is weird, but
any chance I could squeeze in there?
How about it, Carl?
The more the merrier.
Hear that?
- Get in here, you crazy kid.
- Whoo-hoo!
Well, if we can't share a pizza,
at least we can share this.
And you know, honestly, this isn't so bad.
Hey, what the heck? What was that?
Ooh, I forgot to mention
the shame nuggets.
You people should be ashamed!
Hey! That's my son-in-law!
Hi.
Is that the best you got?
Tradition is such a beautiful
Son of a slug!
La-la-la-la.
Look, dude, all I'm saying
is that where I'm from you could get
arrested for having a couch this firm.
Back in my day we didn't have furniture.
We sat on rocks. Sharp ones.
Okay. But if I get butt blisters,
I'm blaming you.
Back in my day
we called those "character."
- So heavy.
- Mind the flagstone.
Back in my day,
kids spent less time complaining'
and more time watching their step.
Yeah? Well, where I'm from people fixed
their crummy houses.
This house is like family!
- You apologize!
- To a house?
Where I'm from,
we didn't rush people in the bathroom!
Well, back in my day
we didn't have a bathroom!
Stop hitting the door
with a battering ram!
It's been two hours!
I can't take this anymore!
They're just getting
used to each other.
It's not a big deal.
Not a big deal? Do you remember
the Hendersons next door?
They used to argue all the time,
and look what happened to them.
Nothing like scavenging the remains
of a broken frog family.
If we don't do something now,
it won't be long before their bickering
tears this family apart.
I still think
we should just give them time.
Not like we have a lot of options.
You can't force people to get along.
Of course not, Polly.
Of course not.
- Of course
- Just go already!
We've been robbed!
Say what?
Sorry. Sorry.
It's just that Hop Pop delivered
the perfect sitcom catch phrase.
Must be painful to make so little sense
all the time.
My prize-winning' corn!
You've won prizes?
It's an expression, Anne.
What are you, the fact police?
The injustice! The outrage!
We've gotta catch this thief!
Agreed. And it's nice to see you
so passionate about produce, Sprig.
Yes. Very odd.
If the thief stole once,
it'll steal again.
The only way to catch this monster
is a stakeout.
I like steak.
- Good idea.
- Okay.
And the only ones who can do it are
Anne and Hop Pop!
Say what?
Well, I obviously can't, because I have
the attention span of a
Oh, look at that.
Why not Hop Pop and Polly?
Seems like a winning combo to me.
Polly's a baby, Anne.
Just asking, Hop Pop.
Very well.
Let's be honest though.
Anne' ll probably fall asleep
and it'll just be me.
Why would I fall asleep first?
- Aren't you like 100 years old?
- I'm a crisp 68!
- You stole the corn, didn't you?
- Oh, absolutely.
But now those two have to spend
the whole night together and bond!
Sprig, you can't manipulate people
like this!
I can, and I did.
And it's going to save this family.
Just look at 'em.
And now to watch
the flowers of friendship bloom.
For goodness' sakes, Anne,
put that lamp out.
We're trying to catch the thief,
not scare it away.
Had a feeling you wouldn't last.
Worry about yourself. I'll be fine.
I just need a little boost is all.
"Blam Berry Blitz.
"The drink that punches you in the face
and doesn't stop."
Hah! That silly drink won't keep you up!
Now, this will keep you up.
Ugh! What is this poison?
Mama's old gourd tea recipe.
I'm not surprised
you don't like the smell.
It's way too strong for you. Ha!
No way it's stronger than my Berry Blitz.
- Gimme that!
- Gimme that!
Blech!
You should have seen
the look on your face.
You were dying!
And what about you?
I didn't even know
you could turn that color.
What, you got chameleon
in your blood?
You know, sometimes I wonder
if I'll ever get home.
I know what it's like
to miss something, Anne.
I find myself pining after
the good old days way too much.
Yeah. We're kinda similar that way.
You're always going on about the old days,
I'm always going on about back home.
Yeah, deep down we're just a couple
of softies, ain't we?
It's working. They're connecting.
Of course, my situation
is way worse than yours.
Always gotta make it about you, don't you?
"I'm Anne, and my life
is worse than everyone else's."
Oh, yeah? Well, at least
my head isn't a tea kettle.
Wait. What?
Oh, yeah? Well, at least my hair
isn't rainbow stardust.
What the
What?
What's happening to us?
How should I know Oh.
The drinks!
Our body chemistry must be so different
that we're having crazy reactions
to each other's extreme beverage.
That was the smartest-sounding
thing I've ever said.
This is terrible!
I never should've let you trick me
into trying something new!
Oh, yeah? Well, your gross old mama's tea
did this to me!
No, no! This can't be!
They're fighting again.
Oh, no. What a surprise.
Okay, okay. No problem.
We'll just have to take matters
into our own hands.
- Wait. You don't mean
- Oh, that's right, Polly.
I'm going to steal more corn
right under their noses.
They'll have to do this again tomorrow,
and the next night, and the next night,
until they're the bestest friends
who were ever friends,
and then the family will be saved!
You're mad!
Try and stop me! Ha-ha!
Oh, boy.
I didn't make you drink my Berry Blitz.
Well, you grabbed for my tea first.
This wasn't my fault.
Well, it sure wasn't mine.
The corn thief!
- Watch where you're pointing that thing.
- Sorry.
Stop this madness!
Aah! Let go!
You've lost your mind!
A small price for saving this family!
Hey!
Stop right there, you you thief?
The corn thief!
And it's the scariest thing
I've ever seen!
Finally, something we agree on.
We've got to take this thing down.
Are you with me?
Till the end.
Then let's do this!
Teakettle beam, fire!
Rainbow magic!
Our attacks have no effect.
But we can't give up so easily.
Right!
Well, they're broken.
It must be immune to magic.
Quick! Grab those power-ups!
Power-ups?
Run, run, run!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Anne, Hop Pop, it's me!
I've learned my lesson. I promise.
I'll never manipulate people
Uh, does the corn thief
kinda sound like Sprig to you?
Now that you mention it.
Don't kill me! Please!
What?
Uh, wait What
None of that was real?
- But it was so terrifying!
- Don't kill me! Please!
I thought we were goners.
Me too.
And you defended me.
And you stood by my side
like a true warrior.
You know, Hop Pop, back home we call that
having a friend's back.
Well, back in my day we called it
"pulling a Stinky McGuire."
But if you don't know Stinky,
the saying don't mean much,
so let's just stick with yours.
Boy, I'm tired.
Wow, Sprig, I owe you an apology.
Your dumb ol' plan actually kinda worked.
Thanks, Polly, but maybe next time
we do it your way.
Guess I should drag them inside.
But first, I'm parched.
All right, Boulder-tron,
you ready to roll?
Always, my queen.
Good man, Boulder-tron. Good man.