Andi Mack (2017) s01e03 Episode Script

1 Previously, on Andi Mack Did you tell Buffy and Cyrus? It's not like you can start a conversation with, "Oh, hey, guys, guess what? My sister's my mother and my mother's my grandmother.
" Celia: I'm not your grandmother.
What word should I use, then? Nana? Celia: No! Your sister has a secret baby? Yes.
We are supporting you in your thrilling new endeavor.
Talking to Jonah Beck.
Hey, friends of Andi! Hey, Jonah Beck! You made this? It's not that hard.
Why can't we talk about the secret baby? I'm the secret baby! Bex is my mother, and my mother is my grandmother, and Amber is wearing my bracelet! I have some questions.
Do you? One or two.
How about "Meemaw"? What am I, 100? Well, what should I call you, then? Because you don't wanna be called "Grandma," but you're not my mom anymore.
For now, why don't you just call me Celia? I can't call you Celia.
That sounds like we just met at a luncheon.
Eat your muesli before it gets soggy.
Too late.
Maybe we can just grab a donut on the way to school? Thank you, Celia.
(theme song playing) I'm standing on the edge And everything I know-oh-oh is blowin' away Life is upside down But anyway it go-oh-ohs, I'll work it out Oh oh oh oh oh Here we go - One two three - I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way I'm ready for tomorrow Tomorrow starts today There ain't a map to follow But I'm with you all the way All the way Morning.
Those look good, can I have one? - Yeah.
- No.
Oh, right.
'Cause sugar doesn't set you up for a successful day.
Come on, Mom, you gotta have a little fun.
What are you even doing up in time for breakfast, anyway? For your information, today is my first day at my new job.
You got a job? Cool.
How? I grew up in this town.
I know people.
I've got connections.
Isn't this, like, so crazy? I mean, did you ever think that one day the kid you used to babysit would be your boss? I honestly never did.
So, you said I'm going to be giving makeovers and stuff like that? Totally.
I used to be the one giving makeovers, but the guy that owns this place said that I look "too scary" and "like a vampire.
" No, really? I know, right? Real talk? I think he just likes to start drama, which I hate.
That's why I got this.
Oh, uh-huh.
"Down 2 Earth.
" Please tell me that's fake.
It is.
So I can show the tattoo artist where I want the real one to go.
Obvi.
Brittany wow.
You know, when I used to babysit you, I had no idea that you were gonna turn out so, um interesting.
Okay, I get called that all the time.
But it's just because people can't put me in some convenient tub.
Don't you mean box? No, Bex tub.
Because I'm a very multi-fauceted person.
I think that's multi-faceted.
Ohh Oh.
So, where do you want me to start? Start anywhere you want.
Only, can you want to start by cleaning out the masks in the costume department? Someone tried them on and got concealer in all the noses.
Thank you, love you, heart you, xoxo! I unfroze you.
I was never frozen.
I was only pretending because I hate PE.
Can I pretend with you? I'm not really in the mood to capture anything today.
Things still weird at home? Two moms, one house, and they agree zero percent of the time.
- Yikes.
- On the bright side, I did have my first Toaster Tart today, so I guess Buffy! It's not a tackle sport! I'm standin' on the outside, outside lookin' in While tryin' to play a game that I know we'll never win You're tryin' to be someone you know you'll never be Thanks! Nice work, Buffy! Thanks, Mr.
Reznikoff.
I'm not gonna lie, that felt really good.
Oh, suck it up, Ian.
Next time, get outta the way faster.
Come on, guys, be happy for me.
Mr.
Rez thinks I'm so fast, he asked me to join the track and field relay team.
I'd be happier for you if I could turn my neck.
You do recognize us out there, right? Andi and your old friend Cyrus? Eighty-eight pounds of quivering jelly, no core strength? So, I like winning! When did that become a bad thing? Yo, Andi! Oh, I gotta go.
My, uh Bex is here.
Bye, guys.
What are you doing? I thought I'd surprise you and come pick you up.
On your motorcycle? Did Mom I mean, did Celia say it was okay? It's okay to have a little fun.
And let me worry about Celia.
Plus we don't have to tell her.
Atta girl.
Whoa.
Is Mrs.
Devlin still around? She was the librarian when I went here.
Have you seen that old horror movie that has a librarian that looks just like her? It's called "Shhh!".
No.
I'm not allowed to see scary movies.
I wasn't even allowed to see E because the kids ride bikes without helmets.
Well, guess what? You're watchin' one tonight.
No way.
This is not happening.
I'm not asking your permission.
Besides, it's more funny than scary.
The tagline is, "Revenge is overdue.
" Get it? I will not have horror movies in this house.
Or puns.
Mom, you've never let loose.
The wildest thing that you've ever done is your own taxes.
I understand more than you think.
For instance, I raised you.
And we both know that there are some things that Andi is not ready to experience.
(crickets chirping) Okay, Andi Mm-wah-ha-ha-ha move over, it's time for "Shhh!" What did Celia say? There's not much she can say.
Wow, I actually have butterflies.
You said it's more funny than scary, right? Yes, exactly! Like an angry squirrel, or a golf cart accident.
Heh Hey, look, if you get really scared, I'm gonna be right here with you the whole time.
- Okay? - Okay.
(horror movie music playing) (screaming) (screaming) (screaming) Andi? Jeez, Cyrus, can you warn me the next time you wanna just talk outta the blue like that? Okay, what's your deal? I don't know whether to tell you to perk up, or calm down? Bex had me watch this super scary movie last night.
It's about this librarian that looks just like Mrs.
Devlin.
Except when she tells you to "Shhh" then, you start to gag, and then you can't breathe, and then you die! But the worst part is, when they look at you later, there's nothing in your mouth, not your teeth, or your tongue, it's just a big, black, stinking hole! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Are you going to be okay? Yeah, I just have to make it through this class.
Andi! Andi! Andi! Andi Mack, do you want detention? You got it.
I can't believe I got detention for sleeping in class.
And now I'm gonna miss my first Jonah.
Game.
Right.
Isn't that what I said? Cyrus, whatcha doin'? I'm being a fan.
You know, most people just say, "Go team.
" What about me makes you think that I'm "most people"? Good point.
See you guys.
Dude, Cyrus, this spread is wicked sick.
I was going for "classy casual," but I'll take it.
I think you might be our secret weapon.
After, Andiman here, right? Uh, Andi? Isn't there something you need to tell Jonah? You have a nice smile.
Detention? Right! Right.
And, I got detention.
You got detention? Whoa! Andiman's got layers.
Sorry I can't play today.
Yeah.
We'll miss you.
Tell old Mrs.
Devlin hi for me.
Mrs.
Devlin? As in the librarian? Wh Wh Why would I be seeing her? (laughs) Because detention's always in the library, right? Just between us she kinda creeps me out.
Well, i isn't there maybe another option, possibly an abandoned caretaker's shed, or a windowless room in a basement? (eerie music playing) (lights buzzing) (three loud booms) Welcome to detention.
Looks like it's just you and me.
(door slamming) On your mark get set go! First time, everyone's a winner Two times, gotta be a sinner Don't you look like all the people talkin' at ya so Ow Hey Hey Yeah, I feel so alive And I can't deny - (whistle blowing) - Great practice run, guys.
Buffy, you bested our fastest leg by over five seconds! Is that good? That's a new school record! You do that well in the meet later, we're gonna win for sure! (cheering and clapping) This calls for a selfie.
Oh right.
And now a group one.
Woooo, woooo Put it all over your face, okay? - Night and day - Night and day Every way I live - Woooo - Yeah, I always come through (cheering) Night and day.
Every way I live Hey, what's all this? Oh, it's apple cider.
We won! Nice, me, too.
I got a faster time than any of those slowpokes.
Don't you mean your teammates? Right I keep forgetting.
Cyrus, you're awesome! This is the first game we've had where no one got heat stroke or second degree sunburn.
Aw don't thank me.
Thank my grandma for teaching me the importance of sunscreen.
It was my job to keep an eye on all of her , you know questionable moles.
- Cool.
- Ew.
Well, we seriously couldn't have won without you.
You killed it.
Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! Cy-rus! (clock ticking) (tension-building music) Ah-choo! Shhhhhhhh! (screaming) If you're going to terrify Andi, you could've at least stayed awake for it! But now, your mistakes are hurting her.
I'm not sure she's safe with you.
She needs a mother that's gonna teach her how to be brave.
No, she needs a mother who knows what she's doing.
For the last time, that is not your decision to make.
I'm her mother! I was her mother, and she was happy! No, she wasn't.
Were you? Yes, she was! Andi, tell her.
Wh Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Am I crazy? Because it sounds like you two are trying to get me to pick a mother! Are you kidding me? I am not going to pick! No, of course not.
We wouldn't do that.
But if we did No way! I'm not the one who created this mess.
You two are the brain trust that decided that you should pretend to by my sister, because you don't want people to know you're really my grandmother! Andi No! I'm the kid here, you're the adults.
It's your job to figure this out.
Let me know when you do.
I will be in my room.
She so much smarter than we are.
You can see why I don't wanna let her go.
You don't have to let her go.
You just have to let me in.
Go, Buffy! Knock 'em dead! I meant that metaphorically, don't actually hurt anyone.
Go! See me comin' from miles around Come on, Buffy! You can turn me on But you can't turn me down Sorry! I don't take orders from nobody 'Cause I'm free Yes! Buffy! I can't believe you! I know, I didn't pass the baton, because I remembered what you said, Mr.
Rez.
With me on the team, we would win.
And we did! We didn't win! We were disqualified, it's a relay.
All of the runners need to participate.
Mr.
Rez, I just really wanted to win.
And I guess I just thought everyone else would get in my way.
You're talented, Buffy.
But you get in your own way.
Look, you can't win 'em all.
Yes you can.
It's called a sweep a no-hitter.
An undefeated season.
There are actual terms for winning them all.
But winning isn't everything.
Of course it is! That's why I like sports.
You always know where you stand.
You're the best or you're not.
It's uncomplicated.
Let me just tell you something that I've learned from my own sport.
Without our teammates, all we are is discs in the wind.
Cyrus, I know you brought a cooler to a game of catch and all, but that does not make you an athlete.
I didn't just bring a cooler.
I brought all kinds of snacks.
Now everyone's callin' me the protein pre-teen.
No they're not.
You're right.
I just made that up.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe you didn't pass the baton.
Give it up.
Hey.
Hey, you.
What's goin' on? Andi, look Mom saved this.
She saved all of this stuff of mine.
My third grade spelling tests.
Wow you got all A's.
I wasn't always a bad seed.
Oh, "The Bad Seed," now that's a good scary movie, it's a classic.
What am I doing? This is how I got in trouble in the first place for showing you a scary movie.
She was right.
I shouldn't have done that.
Yes, you should have! I need to branch out toughen up! I should at least be brave enough to watch a movie about a psychotic librarian.
Yeah, at least I can help with that.
Holy molar! Why did she save this? Was this a bathing suit? Just so you know I will never be brave enough to wear this.
Me, neither.
This isn't yours? It's mine.
Whoa Mom! I wasn't always serving muesli.
(laughs) I'll take that, thank you.
- You actually wore this.
- Yes, I did.
Once upon a time, I was known as "Cece.
" Cece? In fact that's what you can call me from now on.
Cece is your grandma name? Really? You think you can call me "Grandma" knowing I wore this? - (both laugh) - I can't believe that just happened! You know what I can't believe? This woman wouldn't let me go to a party or wear lip gloss.
She won't even let me eat a Toaster Tart.
I'm gonna have one right now.
Oh, no Don't! I ran out.
This picture why are you hiding it? Who is this? Andi This is my dad isn't it? - Bex: Next, on Andi Mack - (theme music playing) Your mom thing.
You heard.
Can I take a selfie with you? Yeah sure.
I guess congratulations are in order.
Grandma.
(screaming) Uh, we're gettin' away.
We should get goin'.
I'm trusting you.
Andi, we could have a party! (dance music playing) Your parents are here! Celia: Everybody out!