Austin and Ally s01e03 Episode Script

Excuse me, sir.
We have a strict store policy.
That only employees can take instruments off the display.
We don't want anything to break.
Here you go.
I've been waiting all day for something bad to happen so I could do that.
Something bad happened this morning.
When you put on that shirt.
Zinger sting.
Sweet! what up? - Guess who got a job at the - The clown store? No, at the makeup kiosk.
They pay us in free samples.
And really? You're making clown jokes dressed like that? Everyone stop picking on my shirt.
I'm talking about your shoes.
Oh.
Anyway, I have a big announcement to make.
- I just - Hold on! Don't tell us yet.
I just booked you a gig on tv.
Thanks! You're the best manager ever! - Oh, what show? - Only Miami's hippest music show, - "south beach sound.
" - Awesome.
- Oh sweet.
- Austin, this is huge! "south beach sound" is a big deal.
Do you know how many stars got their break on that show? - No, how many? - I don't know! When I get excited, I ask a lot of questions.
Why do I do that? Don't answer.
Anyhow, They're coming to film Austin here at the mall tomorrow.
I told 'em you would write a new song.
Tomorrow? That's not enough time.
Hey, if I could get fired from three jobs in one day, I'm pretty sure you could write one song.
Lazy.
Well, we can write a new song.
Luckily I have some new ideas in my book.
No worries.
Oh no, my book is gone.
Worries.
Worries.
Okay, calm down.
It's just a book.
It is not just a book.
It is my diary, journal and songwriting book all rolled into one.
I write all my personal stuff in there.
If anyone else reads it, I will die! Oops.
Sorry, I meant when the crowd wants more, I bring on the thunder 'cause you've got my back, and I'm not going under you're my point, you're my guard you're the perfect chord and I see our names together on every billboard we're headed for the top, we've got it on lock we'll make 'em say "hey!" and we'll keep rockin' oh, there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya it's no fun when you're doing it solo with you it's like, "whoa," yeah, and I know I own this dream 'cause I got you with me there's no way I could make it without ya do it without ya, be here without ya.
Where's my book? Where's my book? Trish, can you get off if my book is in there? N see.
Yeah, sure.
Whoa! Ah! It's not in there.
I'm pretty sure there's nothing in the tuba.
What kind of disgusting person puts food in a tuba? Oh, my sandwich.
Lost this a month ago.
Dude, that's just wrong.
At least share.
Okay? Hello, Ally.
I'm here for my piano lesson.
Uh, now is not a good time, Nelson.
And I've told you before you don't need to bring your own piano.
Oh, I forgot.
Besides, your piano lesson is tomorrow.
Today is your oboe lesson.
Aw, nartz.
You know how hard it was.
To gthis on the bus? I'll be back.
You guys look for my book here.
While Trish and I check the lost and found.
I have to find it before someone reads it.
Some of the things I wrote in there are super personal and embarrassing.
Like how you have an imaginary friend named Ms.
Pennyworth.
You talk to when you're stressed? How do you know about Ms.
Pennyworth? I've only ever told one person that secret.
Well, obviously Ms.
Pennyworth has been.
Blabbing about ya all over town.
- Found it! - My book? No, my lost and found t-shirt.
From when I worked here at the lost and found.
Man, I hated this job.
All those sad, desperate people.
Searching for stuff they'll never see again as long as they live! I mean we're totally gonna find your book.
What are you doing? Using my superhuman sense of smell to find Ally's book.
You have a superhuman sense of smell? What food am I thinking of? Cheery pie A la mode.
Wow.
- Found it.
- Wow, your nose is amazing.
No, I didn't smell the book.
I just remembered I used it as a roof for my gingerbread house.
Why do you have a gingerbread house? What, you want my gingerbread man to live on the street? No, I want him to live in my belly.
Carlos! Come on, let's go find Ally.
You know, it's a good thing we found the book.
And not some stranger who would see.
All the embarrassing personal stuff she wrote in her book.
Totally.
It's gotta be pretty juicy stuff too, Or she wouldn't be worried about somebody reading it.
- It's gotta be pretty juicy stuff.
- So juicy.
What do you think? It's not like Ally ever told us not to touch her book.
Don't touch my book.
Don't touch my book.
Don't touch my book.
Don't touch my book.
Don't touch my book! Okay, what if we didn't open the book, But it accidentally got dropped on the floor.
- And opened itself? - There you go.
Okay, what if it got stuck to the ceiling.
With something sticky like jelly.
And we could see the pages from down here? - Yes.
- Nah, that's crazy.
What are we gonna do, go all the way to the store to get jelly? - By the time we get back - What do you need? I got grape, strawberry, boysenberry.
I got some jam, a bunch of marmalades, some chutney.
This is ridiculous.
You're right.
We should just read it.
No, I meant we shouldn't be reading her book at all.
We can't stop now.
This is good stuff.
It's all about some guy she has a crush on.
Oh.
Oh no.
It's me.
- Ally's got a crush on me! - Shh! Don't spoil it.
I'm a slow reader.
Uh huh, uh huh.
Whoa! Ally's got a crush on you! I can't believe Ally has a crush on me.
I can't believe I ate all that jelly.
Ally's awesome, but I just don't feel that way about her.
We're two different people.
She likes pickles, I like pancakes.
She likes reading books, I like having fun.
I'm cool and collected.
And she chews her hair when she's nervous.
You want some guacamole with that? Sorry.
That's probably not very appetizing to watch.
I have an idea.
Why don't we retrace your steps from today, And maybe we'll figure out where you left your book.
Okay.
I got here early, so I wrote in my book.
On the bench next to the cellphone accessory cart.
Then I went to work, and on my break, I took a walk past the cellphone accessory cart.
Wait.
Why do you keep talking about the cellphone accessory cart? I'm not.
I didn't.
Why? Did the cute guy who works there ask about me? No way.
You have a crush on the cellphone accessory cart guy.
That's what you wrote in your book, isn't it? What? The cellphone guy? That's crazy.
Why would I Holy unlimited texting, He is so cute.
You never know.
She might not have been writing about you.
I mean look at him his kind eyes, Hair that flops just the right way.
"kind eyes.
Hair that flops just the right way"? That's so me.
"we work so close to each other" And yet we're so far apart.
And he smells like a fresh summer breeze.
"like a fresh summer breeze.
" Oh yeah, that's summery and breezy.
"and what is cooler than a guy named.
After a city in Texas?" You're right.
That's you, Austin.
And his name is Dallas.
Be cool, here he comes.
Excuse me.
Oh, so you like throwing trash away? Uh, yeah, I guess.
No way.
Me too.
Oh.
Okay.
I wasn't done with that.
What am I gonna do? I don't want things to be all weird with me and Ally! And Trish.
I'm short, not invisible.
No way.
You found my book.
Yeah, it was in the ref rig I love you, I love you, I love you.
I am so relieved.
Let's go work on that new song for "south beach sound.
" Okay, let's get to work.
I think we should why'd you shut the door? Because we always shut the door when we write a song.
It's more private.
Maybe we should change that.
What do we have to hide? We're writing a song up here with the door open.
Wide open.
We should write something totally different.
For you to play on "south beach sound.
" What about a love song? Wh about a "like" song? Come on, I've already got a bunch of it figured out.
love love love like like Like.
it's a special kind of feeling but not always so appealing all you want is to get close but too close is kinda gross gotta go for what you want but just keeping things on a friendly level is also a good option if you want things to stay the same.
.
Uh, you're acting weird.
Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm just not feeling this love song.
Austin, I'm really feeling this one.
I think we're close enough that I can tell you who the song is really about.
If I don't hear it, it's not true.
If I don't hear it, it's not true.
If I don't hear it, it's not true.
If I don't hear it, it's not true.
I've never seen Austin act so crazy.
He ran out before we could finish our new song.
I wonder if he's nervous about playing.
- On "south beach sound.
" - Nervous? Pfft.
Austin never gets nervous, especially about performing.
Then why is he acting so weird around me? It's because he's nervous.
Austin always gets nervous, especially about performing.
- Dez? - I don't know anything! Why are you grilling me? Can't a guy put a new roof on his gingerbread house in peace? Ally, I think Dez has something he needs to get off his chest.
Dez, make this easy for yourself.
You know I can't control Trish.
Tell us what you know! You can hurt me all you want, I'll never tell.
I'll never tell! Oh, I'm not going to hurt you.
I'm going to hurt your family Your gingerbread family.
Benjamin! We can do this the easy way or the Trish way.
I can't betray Austin.
No! You monster.
Dez, you can end all this senseless suffering right now.
- Tell us.
- Never! I wonder what Benjamin would look like.
Without a head.
Hmm.
Austin read Ally's book and knows she has a crush on him.
- What? - There, now you know everything.
What are you doing? I said I told you everything.
I know, but Benjamin's really tasty.
- Where are you going? - To find Austin.
And confront him about reading my book.
No.
There's a better way to deal with this A little thing I like to call revenge.
And we're going to use your book to do it.
I love it.
Don't touch my book.
Hey Ally, I'm here for my hobo lesson.
Nelson, it's an oblesson, Not a hobo lesson.
Aw, nartz.
You know how hard it was to get him on the bus? C'mon, Uncle Hank.
Austin's coming.
Lipstick.
Oh, mwah! Austin.
Mwah! Austin! Mwah! Austin! - Mwah mwah.
- Ally? What are you doing? Is that doll supposed to be me? Oh, Austin.
Hi.
Yes, it is.
I was just practicing what I would do.
If you got bit by a rattlesnake.
On the lips.
It could happen.
Oh.
Good to know.
So you wanna work on our new song now.
Here where everyone can see us? I can't right now.
I'm busy.
What private thoughts are you writing.
In your book of secrets, Ally? I'm just making a list of turnoffs Things I don't like in a guy, Things that if a guy did I would definitely not.
- Be interested in him at all.
- Cool.
Wanna go to the food court and not come back for at least 20 minutes? Sure.
I'll just leave my book right here.
Read it.
It's staring right at you.
Don't read it.
It's her private book.
Read it.
Then you'll know how to make Ally not like you anymore.
Don't read it.
Guess who got a job as your new conscience? - Hey, that's my job.
- Not anymore.
Listen to the other guy.
Read the book.
Read it, read it, Read it, read it, read it, read it.
"turnoffs: Guys with fake tans.
Guys who sweat a lot.
" Hey Ally, how do I look? Orange.
I know, right? It brings out the color of my eyes.
Ew.
I hate fake tans.
Really? I did not know that.
Almost as much as I hate sweaty guys.
Also did not know that.
Whoa.
You look different.
Yeah, 'cause I'm orange and I'm sweaty.
No.
That's not it.
That's exactly it.
I'm trying to make Ally not have a crush on me.
And it's working.
She hates fake-tan sweaty guys.
You really want to sweat, Try one of these volcano peppers.
They're crazy hot.
They only grow in molten lava.
Oh perfect, thanks.
The key is to take one little Bite.
Hot hot.
Hot.
Austin.
Good, you're here.
"south beach sound" wants to do the interview with you right now.
What? I thought that was tomorrow.
They moved it to today.
You look like a wet Pumpkin.
I can't go on live tv like this.
We're here on live tv with Austin moon.
Tell us about your new song.
Hot hot.
I bet it is hot.
What's it called? - Water, water.
- "Water, water.
" catchy catchy.
Dez, drink now.
I wasn't thirsty but okay.
Are you nervous about being on live tv? You're kind of sweating a little.
Am I? Didn't notice.
So tell us about your music.
It's really very fun, you know? Peppers are really hot! Austin, I have one last question for you.
Why'd you read Ally's book? Huh? You know, my private book I told you a million times.
Not to touch? Why'd you read it? - I we wait, is this a - Fake interview.
To make you look stupid as punishment for reading my book? - Yeah, that's exactly what it is.
- Whoo! The camera crew was my idea.
I'm really good at revenge.
If there was a revenge store, I'd never get fired.
So that isn't the crew from "south beach sound"? No, and I don't have a crush on you.
That's a relief.
I thought I'd have to stay orange forever.
Okay, dez towel.
I'm not really sweaty, but okay.
Listen, I know I shouldn't have read your book.
It was wrong and I'm sorry.
I accept your apology.
Um But, you know, uh There's still one thing that bothers me.
Why did you freak out so much.
When you thought I had a crush on you? Am I that horrible? No, Ally, you got it all wrong.
You're awesome.
I did that stuff because you're my friend.
And I don't want to jeopardize that.
I feel the same way.
Let's hug when you're less orange and sweaty.
I'm just glad I didn't actually make a fool of myself on live tv.
Yeah, Trish wanted to put this whole thing.
On the mall jumbotron, but I wouldn't let her.
Wow, she really is good at revenge.
The best.
But you know I wouldn't embarrass you like that.
Public humiliation is my worst nightmare.
That's why I freaked out about my book.
I mean, I would die.
If anyone found out I had a crush.
On the cellphone accessory guy.
What? The jumbotron? I thought we weren't doing that.
What's up, mall of Miami? We are live on "south beach sound" With the one and only Austin moon.
This song was written by my good friend Ally Dawson.
It's called "not a love song.
" you're always on my mind I think about you all the time .
Um, no.
let's not talk about it drama, we can live without it catch a wave if we're bored there's a clock we'll ignore find a way around it hey girl, I can tell it's something even when you say it's nothing when you're playing with your hair like you just don't care it's a tell, you're bluffing .
Now please don't take this the wrong way.
I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love but it's not a love song not a love song.
I love the way you get me but correct me if I'm wrong this is not a love song not a love song.
I love the things you do it's how you do the things you love the way you say you'd put me through it I guess I always knew it I love the way you get me but correct me if I'm wrong this is not a love song not a love song Not a love song.