Bad Sisters (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Mammy?
Mammy.
Oh. Sorry.
I must have fallen asleep there.
- Was it the fire again?
- Yeah.
Aw, I know. I know.
You could have lost me.
But you didn't.
- I didn't.
- No.
- God must have bigger plans for you.
- I'd like to think so. Hmm.
- Stick the kettle on.
- Yeah.
I'm so relieved we didn't put
the new kitchen units in there.
Yes.
Put them on the insurance,
anyway. I could have died.
- I
- Shush now.
The girls are at the Forty Foot.
I don't know how they find the time.
- Ursula has three kids.
- They're a different kind of woman to you.
They choose not to put
their families first.
That's true.
And you should be proud of it.
"The greatest achievement
is selflessness."
Well, that's very beautiful.
Where did you hear that?
Moonpig. Moonpig.com.
And I'm sure you'll find that Ursula
manages to make time for herself.
She's very quiet this morning.
Yeah, well, I'm not. We
need to We need to talk.
Yeah, I know. Not now.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I didn't know you were coming.
You didn't respond to my text.
I didn't realize I had to
RSVP to freeze my bollocks off.
Got it. Auntie Becka, I got something!
We think it's a crab.
Yeah. Just give me two
minutes. I'll come in with ya.
- What were you two talking about?
- Huh?
What were you asking Eva?
- What was I Um
- Oh.
Are you going to Grace's
egg hunt thing on Saturday?
Uh, yeah. No.
I I can't because I'm
prepping for Sunday lunch.
Yeah, I can't either. Gonna
visit her mother-in-law.
Want to butter up John Paul.
That's a horrible visual.
I'm thinking of asking
for a loan for the studio.
Why would you do that?
'Cause you can't help me out.
Yeah, I can't help you out now.
Just give me a couple of months.
It'll be gone in a couple of months.
I'm gonna give his mother
some physio on her hip.
Show her I'm an investment. Like
a share in a racehorse, you know?
- Or a pigeon.
- He's never gonna give you the money.
Well, I'll ask Grace
then. It's half hers.
- What?
- You're just being naive.
- She's being stupid.
- Shut your hole.
Hey, Grace doesn't have her own
bank account. She shops with a Monzo.
Mom, can we go in the water now?
Wait for your Auntie Becka.
You trying to get rid of me?
You just said you'd go in with them.
- You kids find any crab?
- Oh.
Whoa.
Hey. You all right?
Mm-hmm.
- You okay?
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Just, um, late.
Could you bring David home to Donal?
Uh, he'll be there all day.
Thanks a million. See you later.
Thanks for asking. Let me
Let me think, does
that work with my plans?
No problem. Leave it with me.
Such a piss-take. What
is wrong with this family?
So, when are we going to have
another go at killing the prick?
- Bibi.
- Wha
Not giving up just 'cause
of one little setback, Eva.
A setback? We blew up their home.
Yeah, but not him.
There's all kinds of ways
people can die by accident.
All kinds of unfortunate mishaps.
I was thinking something at
work, an industrial accident.
We work in an open-plan
architectural firm.
- What are we gonna do?
- Auntie Eva?
- Paper cut him to death?
- We've got crabs.
The roof terrace? The fire escape?
Yeah, we're not doing
anything like that.
We're doing it again, we're
doing it with poison this time.
Like normal women.
Matt, you listening?
We use what we found out at the hotel
to increase the pressure
with this next sister.
See what we glean.
Got a contact for a detective
inspector in Malahide.
Dad used to send him
a hamper every year.
No idea why.
Probably some bet that
started years ago at the dogs.
Probably just shagging his wife.
So, we go after his
permission for the postmortem.
That's That's not gonna happen.
Really? Well, let's see,
because I can be a
persuasive motherfucker.
What?
So Sorry, you're just ridiculous.
- What are you doing? Answer it.
- No, I'm not answering it with you here.
Jesus. F I'm ridiculous?
Hello. Matthew speak
Matt, nice to hear from ya.
Huh?
I'm just about to head
out. What can I do for you?
Uh, I think you called me. What's up?
No, no, no. That's cold.
How about you called me to say that
You called m You called me.
That it was gorgeous to
see me the other night.
It was nice to see you.
Ugh.
I I really liked, um
I really liked talking to you.
I just, I've been
I've been thinking
And you wanted to get that date
nailed down so you can see me again?
Yeah, all right. What
are you doing later?
Free as a mud lark.
Text me what time and where.
Don't wear that tiny
jacket. Thanks for calling.
It's great you answered
the phone like a big boy,
but do you want to wipe this
stupid smile off your face
before she opens the door?
I'm your twelve o'clock.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Course.
It's groin strain.
Great.
- Who is it, Michael?
- Two boys.
Come on in. Sit down.
All right.
Michael, love, go on
upstairs and get ready, okay?
Go on.
Can I get you something to drink?
- Uh, just some water, ple
- Coffee would be great.
- Didn't sleep well last night.
- Yeah, lucky you caught me.
I was about to take
Michael to his appointment.
Uh, shouldn't take too long.
Just a few questions about
your brother-in-law's accident
for the insurance.
Right. Yeah.
the weather.
Yesterday was absolutely
Tom.
Tom. Get back. Tom.
- Jesus Christ.
- Sorry.
- Sorry, I was just stretching me leg.
- I have a cramp.
That is usually a buildup
of lactic acid. Cramp.
Right, yeah. I forgot you're a nurse.
Must come in handy, all
that medical knowledge.
Yeah, well, you you know, handy
for scrapes and child ailments.
We're all out of coffee, sorry.
Uh, it's a terrible business, you know.
Hmm.
So you were with your husband
the night of John Paul's death?
No, no. I was with my sisters.
Ah. Yeah, right. Sorry.
Your other sister said. I-I
didn't realize it was all of yous.
Yeah.
- So you go everywhere together?
- Well, we're close.
Like a pack?
Hmm, like a family.
So you had dinner together or
Yeah.
Nice. What did you eat?
Sorry?
You'd food and drinks you said.
I can't remember what we ate exactly.
Probably something simple. Like
- chicken?
- Chicken.
In a chimichurri sauce.
That's what we'd usually have.
And probably a salad
and garlic rice, um
Is that one M? Chimichurri?
I don't know.
What was your relationship with your
brother-in-law like, Mrs. Garvey?
Flynn. Mrs. Flynn.
What do we It was
It was good. Yeah.
We all got on like one big,
happy family, as they say.
That's not what your sister said.
- Grace?
- Eva.
Eva.
Well, her and JP are work colleagues,
so it was probably a
different story for them.
And Eva's a bit of a hothead, unlike me.
What are you like?
- What am I like?
- Mmm.
I'm I'm a mother and a wife.
I'm a nurse.
Ah, don't know what else to say.
I lead a pretty boring
life, to be honest.
I miss you.
I'm not gone yet.
Miss you in five minutes then.
Oh, before I forget.
Free hotel swag.
- You can think of me in the shower.
- I don't think about much else.
I have to go.
I should bring Michael
to a doctor's appointment,
and then I start my night shift.
I should have been sleeping
today, not, you know?
I'm sorry I didn't let you sleep.
There was just too much to do.
Did I tell you I have
deep feelings for you?
Up into Ulster this afternoon,
reaching parts of Munster and
north Leinster later this evening.
Largely dry elsewhere with
sunny spells developing.
Highest temperatures
Shit.
No, not here.
John Paul.
Oh, that's quite the ding.
I'm going to have to take
your details, sister-in-law.
Uh, of course. Yeah.
- Sorry, I don't know how that
- 181-D-588.
Uh, location? What's the
name of this hotel? Or
Is it a brothel?
Did you follow me here?
Is this how you like
to spend your time off?
Not with your kids? Not
with your disabled son?
Do not talk about my son.
Does Donal know about
your little affair?
- John Paul, if
- Finish it.
Or I'll tell him.
You're vile.
Do you know that?
Disgraceful. That's what you are.
And disgusting.
Disgraceful, vile and
disgusting. That's what you are.
Vile, disgusting, and disgraceful.
That's you, Ursula Garvey.
Vile, disgusting, and disgraceful.
Got you by the short and
curlies, Ursula Garvey.
Hello, Gerald.
Oh, where the hell are you?
Uh, I was just heading
back to the office now.
- Um, they kept waiting to, um
- I don't wanna hear it.
- Sorry, it definitely won't happen again.
- Get back to the office now.
- I'm I'm terribly sorry.
- Bloody liberty.
Fuck.
Hi.
We put it in his liver.
- What?
- Monday is liver day.
Only JP eats it, but he makes
her cook it every bloody week.
Grace always gets something
else for herself and Blanaid.
Mmm. Well, how do we get it in there?
I think we bring Ursula in on this.
If anyone's gonna know how to do it,
- it's a nurse.
- What? No, no way.
Why not?
Because she'd never
- She's a mother.
- So am I.
Yeah, but you're Well,
she she's got morals. She's
Bibi, I'm not getting into
this on the phone at work.
- Can I come round?
- No.
What?
Oh, God. Fine. Come
round tomorrow night.
I'll try and bunk off a bit earlier.
Come on, everybody.
It's the Thursday raffle.
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, thank you.
Sorry.
Eva?
Sorry. You just You startled me.
I'm very startling.
- Did you buy a ticket?
- Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I I buy all the
tickets to all the charities.
I just Catholic guilt, you know?
War Child, Help the Aged. Donkey
Sanctuary got a big payout last week.
- Oh, you have a big heart.
- Yeah, I care a lot about donkeys.
What are you up to for the weekend?
Oh, I'm just sitting on my sofa
watching, uh, true crime documentaries.
Nazis, probably.
- You?
- Same.
Yeah, I don't believe that for a second.
Oh, come on.
Oh, it's green, 2-1-6.
Green ticket, 2-1-6.
- Shit.
- You got it?
It's me.
- Yeah, we have a winner.
- No.
Something for the weekend. Not
that you'll need it, I'm sure.
- Thank you so much.
- Enjoy.
How did they know?
If a man did that, can you imagine?
Listen, we we should
go for a drink sometime.
When you're not watching Nazis.
Huh?
- A drink? Liquid alcohol? Glass container?
- Sorry? Yes, yeah.
Yeah, that would be I'd like that.
- That'd be Yeah, give me a call, okay.
- Okay.
What the fuck, Eva?
Oh, shit! Sorry! Sorry.
Sorry. God, I think
I just got asked out.
Oh, and I won a dildo.
Minna. It's Becka.
Hello? Minna?
Oh, come in. Come in.
I left my G-string on.
It's on backwards, but great stuff.
I'm seeing this lad called Callum.
I don't want to shock you,
but I'm just in it for the sex.
Mmm, that's how George and I began.
He only wanted one thing, but
then he saw what else I had.
You're gas. Are you sure
you're John Paul's ma?
Nah. I think they dipped him in
vinegar before they handed him over.
Ow.
Sorry. All done now, anyway.
Oh.
George collected all
this. George is my hubby.
He should be home soon.
So how did George manage to
land a beautiful girl like you?
He threw a dead bird at me.
Oh, really? That's interesting.
It got my attention.
Strange.
Love makes you do strange things.
Why stick a finger up someone's asshole?
Well, he didn't deserve you.
They're all bastards, right?
No, dear. They are not.
Hmm.
But he just walked out on
you. I mean he just left you.
No, that is not the story.
He will be back very soon.
Hey.
Oh, look, Blanaid has a bouncy castle.
You didn't bring the
basket, Ursula. Ursula?
- Enjoy kids.
- Bye, Dad!
I'll bring you a bucket of eggs.
- You're not coming in?
- Ah, no.
I'll leave the Easter Bunny
to you and the girls, JP.
Got to keep the wife happy. God
knows what could happen otherwise.
Oh, I hear you. Very hard to
keep this one happy, though.
Bet she's worth it.
- See you later.
- Later.
See you.
Is it finished with your fuck buddy?
Urs. Come on.
- Yeah, coming.
- End it.
Or I'll tell Donal. I swear, I mean it.
It's over, okay?
It's finished.
Well, in that case, in you go.
Hello, you.
Come to daddy, Oscar.
Hello.
Anything else I can help you with?
Yeah, actually.
Your brother-in-law
claimed for a car accident
at the Marker Hotel
about four months ago.
If I'm not mistaken, uh, you were
involved in that accident too.
Yes. Yes, I was.
It was just a little
ding-a-ling, really.
What were you both doing at the hotel?
Well
I was having lunch with
an old friend and
Well, I don't know what I
don't know what JP was doing.
And who was the old friend?
It's probably none of your business.
I know. Sorry.
I didn't see your name in
the reservations book, is all.
That's because I didn't
make a reservation.
I just walked in.
Ah, always more fun not to plan.
I'm the same.
Although, it can often
lead to disappointment.
I have a lot to be
getting on with today,
so if there's anything else you need
Yes. May I use the
little boy's room quickly?
Top of the stairs,
second door on the left.
Potluck whether it's
been flushed or not.
Hello.
- Hey.
- No problem.
What? Why are you talking funny?
- Okay.
- The insurance twats?
- Yeah, it's all It's all great.
- I told you you'd be next.
- Oh, shit. Are they still there?
- It's all great.
- Don't Don't panic because Yeah.
- I'll I'll call you later.
Hello. Oh, shit.
Did you hear that?
- Sorry?
- Nothing.
There he is now.
- Uh, we'll be out of your hair.
- Good stuff.
Yeah.
You know what?
I've been debating whether to ask
this, but I'm worried if I don't,
I'll just be all
irked at myself later.
Were you having an affair?
With your brother-in-law?
What?
Why would you ask something like that?
Just, you know Just a hunch.
Being at a hotel together during
the day, and I know you said
I was not having an affair with
John Paul. No chance on this earth.
The very suggestion of anything
intimate with that man is just
Christ!
- Oh, hello.
- Hi.
Hey.
Um, these gentlemen are, um, just
They're handling John Paul
Grace's insurance policy.
Right. Good to meet you.
We'll leave you to it.
She did not like her brother-in-law.
You're not joking.
Well, two more sisters to go.
Just keep shaking the trees, see
what other shit apples fall out.
Dickhead. Who does that?
- What? Who does that?
- It's fine.
Where you going now? Fancy a pint?
I've got my own plans, thank you.
But you can have fun
with your rubbish bag.
I need a lift to my place.
Knew it.
"Death cap is responsible for
most fatal mushroom poisonings.
The extraction of toxins can be
done through liquid fungal cultures."
I don't even know what that means.
"The principal toxic
constituent is amanitin,
which causes liver and kidney
failure that can be fatal."
- Can.
- Will.
If we extract enough,
then one of these little
bad boys will kill you.
Okay, but how? How do we do that?
Are these library books?
You know there'd be a
record of what you borrowed?
No, there won't. I stole them.
You stole books from a library?
Calm your ham, I'm
gonna bring them back.
Well, clean up this shit.
Urs! Hi?
- Sorry. Have you got a moment?
- Hey, what's up?
Yeah. Yeah. Of course, come in.
It's, um, it's more than just a fling.
Does Donal know?
- I don't want to hurt him.
- Yeah.
I don't want to lose the kids.
You're not gonna lose the kids.
Just
How long has it been going on?
- Just over a year.
- Huh.
Why are you telling me now?
The prick, Eva.
He found out. He followed me.
Fuck. What?
If I don't end it, he's
gonna tell Donal everything.
And I-I tried. And I
tried, I really tried.
I hate myself.
I just lie, and I cheat.
No. Come here, it's fine. Stop.
I feel like I used to, you know?
When I'm When I'm with him.
I feel young.
Part of me that's just been
sleepwalking through life for years is
is awake again.
- Wow.
- Fuck's sake.
- Jesus Christ, Bibi.
- Sorry. Okay.
First of all, I'm gonna
vomit. You're pathetic.
And secondly, there's another option.
- Shut up.
- Why? We need her help anyway.
- Shut up, Bibi.
- What's she talking about?
Second option is we lance the
seeping boil that is the prick.
We get rid of him.
Get rid of him? What are you on about?
Fucking hell.
Hang on.
We just want to give
nature a helping hand.
- Are you out of your fucking mind?
- Uh
Yeah. May I don't know. Maybe.
No. No. I'm sorry. You're
not dragging me into this.
No fucking way.
Am I Am I culpable now?
Because you told me
ab You can't do this.
You're gonna land yourselves,
and me, in jail or worse.
We're gonna poison him, Ursula,
with or without your consent,
and we have no intention
of getting caught.
And how exactly are you
planning on doing that?
Death cap.
Are you insane?
What about Blanaid?
What What about Grace?
We're gonna do it on liver
day. Only the prick eats it.
That's why we need your help.
We just don't know how
to extract the poison.
The first signs of death cap
poisoning are vomiting and diarrhea.
He'll go to A&E, and they'll do tests,
and they'll find amanitin in his
blood, and then they'll call the police.
And then, when he dies between
three and five days later,
they'll be searching for
the idiots who poisoned him.
See? This is why we need your help.
What would you recommend instead?
Urs, we
Great. That's great.
All right, that's me off
to my night shift, Urs.
Have fun at Eva's tomorrow.
Hey.
- Do you want a bottle opener for that?
- No, I brought that. That's a screw cap.
Classy.
Slut.
What? She was being a judgy bitch.
Hey! Oh, I'll watch
next time. Okay? Catch.
Help.
- Hi.
- Hey. Oh, hi. I wasn't expecting to
Lemon meringue pie.
It has a biscuit base,
and I didn't have time
to make pastries, sorry.
You can't beat this
woman's pies. Pastry or not.
Is it okay? I tried calling.
Yeah, of course. It's
just, you're not usually
It was John Paul's idea.
Hey, hon.
Okay, she'll be better
at this. We can do this.
Uh, no Donal today?
He's working.
Ah. That's a shame. Poor
Donal, always missing out.
Yeah.
Okay.
- Lamb?
- I have lots. Thanks.
When's the cabin getting sorted, JP?
The insurance company is being
thorny, but they'll pay out.
Suspicious bloody terriers.
Mammy's very upset.
Well I had two photo albums in there.
Oh, God. I'm so sorry, Grace.
Yeah, um, only holiday snaps
of Blanaid when she was little
and others I can't remember, but
photos I can't replace, you know?
And my Rolex
and the stereo system
and the wide-screen TV.
He's making light of it,
but he was really shocked.
We're just counting our blessings
that he wasn't actually in there.
Grace, thank God you and
Blanaid weren't there.
I mean, Christ, it doesn't
bear thinking about.
Yeah. Well, we were
at the concert, so
Can you pass the green beans over there?
More sauce?
No.
Um, I'll have some. Thank you.
- It's mint.
- You won't like it, pet.
- Ooh.
- Mmm.
What is that?
Ursula!
Are you doing then?
- Come on!
- Why?
- No!
- Becka! Becka! Becka!
Why do we have to do it?
'Cause what would Dad say if we didn't?
He would say
"This country "
" was made a free republic
on Easter Sunday in 1916.
Do the poem, girleen!"
Drunk. Drunk and all.
"We knew enough to know that
dre" I've forgotten
forgotten the whole
thing. I'm so sorry.
- You know this.
- Okay. "We
We knew their dream; enough
To know they dreamed"
Don't you laugh "And are dead."
- Go!
- Oh. Oh. Oh, oh, it's me.
"And what if What if excess of
love Bewildered them till they died?"
Urs!
- Go on.
- "Write it out in a verse "
"MacDonagh and MacBride."
- Yes! She knows it.
- Whoo!
Come on! Go on.
"And "
- And to
- "Connolly!"
- Yay!
- And
Look at her, so happy with ourselves.
And And
- And
- "And "
- "Pearse."
- Whoo-hoo.
Yes!
"Now, and in time to be,
Wherever green is worn
- Are changed
- Changed
- Come on. Changed
- Are changed
A terrible beauty is born."
Come on!
- Mommy?
- Oh, I'm sorry, honey.
- Too loud?
- It's like having a train in my head.
It's like a train in
your head. I'm sorry.
Sorry, Michael.
Like an IRA meeting.
Awful.
But we have lovely
voices, though, right?
- Yeah, but noisy mammies.
- Noisy mammies?
Drinky mammies.
Not all mammies.
- Is there any more meat, Mammy?
- I'll just go.
Uh, okay. So, take those.
Don't Don't get the
foils all over my garden.
Do you want some more?
- No. No.
- I'm just giving
Yeah, that's Easter. I love
the way you've always made
to get lots of animals.
Like, maybe a caterpillar.
Sorry, I just really need to pee.
You do want any of the one you brought?
It will be
- Really?
- Yeah. Uh, I recommend it.
It was in the 12 euros.
Oh, God, that's disgusting.
Uh Yep.
Uh.
Yep! Coming.
Sorry, I was gonna pee myself.
And you haven't even had kids yet.
- To family. To
- To family. To you.
To having you here at on Easter.
- It's so lovely seeing you together
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. But even the
with the smaller ones.
They're just adorable together.
Right.
Who wants some Easter
flan, courtesy of me?
- No flan.
- Oh, I love your weird flan.
Did you just ask if we wanted
flan while pulling your flies up?
Have you washed your
hands, you dirty bitch?
Of course, I washed my hands!
- In the shape of a cross.
- Yeah.
Why must she force feed us flan?
I've been sitting on that one forever.
All your life. I'm really glad you did.
Ah, come on.
How long will it last? Till
It'll last about six months.
I'm in. I love I love
how there's never any
Come on, Bibi.
Well, I told you there'd be
eggs, and now there's no baskets.
- Molly, get get your coat, okay?
- What? Why?
We're going home. I'm sorry, okay?
We have to go. Guys,
go get your coats on.
You look very shook. Have some flan.
Where are you going?
- I'm so sorry, guys, but we have to go.
- Urs?
Grab your stuff and get in the car.
Urs! Urs, wait!
- Come on, let's go.
- Urs. Molly. Can you just wait?
- Just get in. That's it. Close the door.
- Oh, my God. Can you just Urs!
I can explain about the cabin.
- What?
- Sorry. Can we talk?
No, it's not that. It's
nothing. It's Thank you.
It's, um Donal's come home to us.
And you know how he loves Easter,
so I just want to
I want us to be there.
- No, I don't.
- Will you close the door?
Look, give give me
a call when you Jesus.
Take
Drive carefully!
Pick up, pick up. Come on, come on.
Pick up. Donal. Come on! Pick up!
What's going on, Mom? Mom!
Nothing!
I want flan!
Pick up. Pick up.
Auntie Becka said she
had a special egg for me.
- Why did we have to leave?
- Pick up.
And Michael wants flan, Ursula.
Yeah, we have to meet your
father, okay? It's urgent.
Just, um, put some headphones
on your brother, Molly, and
Jesus! Jesus Christ, man!
Jesus Christ, man.
Jesus Christ, man.
Hmm. Jesus Christ, man.
- Jesus Chr
- Jesus Christ, man!
Jesus Christ, man.
- Jesus Christ, man.
- Jesus Christ, man!
- Jesus Christ, man!
- Jesus Christ, man!
Stay here.
Molly, you're in charge.
- I don't want to.
- Molly, please!
Miss Murphy says you have to
say no when we don't consent,
and I do not consent!
I don't care about consent!
- Follow her in. Follow her in.
- I'm going.
Why are you following
me? Go back to the car.
- Whoa!
- Jesus Christ, man!
- Ursula.
- Hi!
- Excuse me. Pardon me. Thanks.
- Whoa!
Sorry.
Sorry!
- No!
- No! Come on, leave them! Come on!
- Hey, Ursula.
- Hi! Yeah.
- What's Daddy's PIN?
- Mammy, I can't say.
Molly! I will let you get
the top of your ear pierced.
Two, four, seven, six, six, six.
You shouldn't steal people's
private information, Ursula.
Stop calling me Ursula!
- Hey. Everything okay?
- Hi.
- Yeah, uh
- Mom said that
That we were, um,
bringing you this because,
um, we all missed
Daddy today, didn't we?
And we know that you
love Easter, so
Mmm. I love you.
Oh, brilliant.
Metildigoxin. Inject 300
milligrams into the liver.
It will cause fatal cardiac arrhythmia.
But I thought you
No doctor is going to think a heart
attack a man his age is suspicious.
And do it quick,
before I change my mind.
Thank you!
- Come on, pick up.
- Thomas?
Yes?
- Hello?
- Shit!
Pardon?
Nothing. I'm so sorry.
Just give me one second.
- Are you okay?
- I have to pee again!
Absolutely. Two Two
ticks. Give me two ticks.
- Huge apologies.
- Who is this?
Listen, you don't know me.
I've left a number of messages
with your office. Thomas Claffin.
Postmortem man.
Yeah, world's shittest superhero.
Although, actually, you know
Thomas, I'm no joke gonna piss the bed.
What do you want?
Listen, I'm a friend of Malcolm Hill.
He gave me your number and
I am so sorry to bother
you of an evening.
I hope I'm not interrupting anything.
I'm in the middle of a crime scene
investigation.
Thomas!
Shit. Look, normally I'd
leave you to your crime scene
like a normal human, but
we're really up against it.
This postmortem has been requested
by nobody, Mr. Claffin, apart from you.
Not by the law, not by the
family, not by the authorit
No, no, I have the widow's permission.
Jesus Christ.
What do you say, Inspector?
Can we talk you through our findings?
Fine, yeah. Look it.
Call the office in the
morning. Arrange an appointment.
Thank you, thank you
very much, Inspector.
I'm gonna piss the bed!
Coming!
Sorry, just some shouting
at me wife. She's pregnant.
Hello? Hello?
Too late!
Oi! Pervert!
Hi.
Hi.
Mmm.
Oh. That's nice.
Yeah.
Ah.
There you go. Now we're even.
No one owes anyone anything,
now that we're even.
Oh, uh Well, it's this way.
Why did I have to wear something sporty?
Well, it doesn't matter,
really, 'cause you didn't anyway.
Shot.
Ah! Well done, man.
High praise, huh?
It is. From Naill anyway.
Oh.
Gonna have a go?
Not really sure you tried there.
Not really sure why you brought
me here on our first date.
It's hard to know what to
do with a girl like yourself.
It is so much easier than you think.
Come on, I'm gonna teach you.
So, you have to bend your knees.
Never saw you do that with Cian.
Who's Cian?
It's just an old friend I used to
play boule with back in the day.
Ran off with his girlfriend.
- Shut the fuck up, Naill!
- Oh.
Ooh.
Sorry.
Is that true?
Uh, no. No, she was
actually my fiancée.
Shit. He was your friend?
Yeah. Yeah, he was also
the lead singer of my band.
Oh.
He looked a lot better in
skinny jeans, in fairness.
I'm sorry you lost your
girl. And your friend.
Yeah, threw me off for a while.
And what about now?
Now? Now I'm on my guard.
I think you should have another go.
It's been a while since I looked
through the old family photos.
You think it'd be
upsetting, but it's joyful.
- All those memories.
- Yeah.
Dad's rockabilly hair.
I know! Huh?
Oh, God, her pointy tits.
They were a lovely couple.
Of tits?
I'm sorry you lost some of your photos.
Made me think of that one you've
got of Mom and Dad at the Forty Foot.
We should get copies
made of that, you know,
just in case something
happens, for all of us.
That's a lovely idea. Do you
think you'll be able to restore it?
- Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
- Brilliant. Okay, look, I'll go grab it.
- Okay. All right.
- And I'll be back in a minute.
Ooh. I spilled some of
the some of the tea.
- Here.
- Yeah, give me.
I'll grab a cloth.
It's a nice thing you're doing.
Yeah, I hope so.
Look at you. Boobless.
I may have been a late developer.
Aw.
I love you.
Love you too.
Hey, honey. I'm just in the middle
of supper here. Can I call you back?
Oh, you are? I was
just thinking about you.
Aw, that's sweet.
Yeah.
I was just Well,
I was just wondering
I was just wondering how how you are.
I'm grand. Why?
No No No reason. I was just
Oh, honey, look, I have to
go. I'm boiling over here.
Okay. I I love you!
Call you back. Bye.
Mom? Mom.
Oh God's sake.
Urs, we haven't heard from Grace.
I haven't either.
Jesus Christ, I'm going out of my mind.
Um, will you come over?
Everybody's left now.
We're on our way.
Put the kettle on.
- Would've worked by now, right?
- Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Um. I can I can't answer it. I can't.
No, I can't. No.
No, don't. Don't fucking
Hey, honey.
He's dead, Eva.
He's dead.
Just Uh Te Just
tell me what happened, Grace.
He didn't wake up this morning.
Heart failure in his sleep.
Oh, God.
Well Well, at-at
least, you know it
This is just awful.
I keep thinking maybe it's
it's best this way, you
know? He was getting on.
Huh?
We're gonna bury him in
the garden this afternoon.
In the garden?
Is Bibi there?
Uh, yeah. Uh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, she
Oh, my God, it's Oscar.
He was such a good dog.
Such a gentle soul.
- Oh, no, no, no. No.
- Oh, my God.
Poor Blanaid.
- Oh.
- Oh, God.
Oh, um
Well, look it's
No.
Mmm. Oh, Gracie.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it's all right.
Can you just drop me here?
- What's that?
- Can you just let me off here?
What's so special about here?
That was gonna be mine.
First floor of that building
there? My first business.
Sorry.
It just winded me, seeing it.
What happened?
Ah, you know, I had no money,
and a family member was
supposed to help me out.
Sort of landed me in it.
I lost money.
Lost my confidence, I think.
I had a lot of big plans.
Don't know where they're gone now.
I don't think those insurance twats
are gonna stop until
they get what they want.
Move.
They went to the hotel me
and Ben used to meet at.
Jesus.
They thought John Paul and
I were having an affair.
How is that funny?
Sorry, it's not. It's
It's a horrible image.
I'm pretty sure that ginger one
went through my medicine cabinet.
They better not try that shit on me.
Jesus Christ, this is
making me so stressed.
Why?
Seriously, what have they got? Really?
They're so wide off the mark.
We just have to keep
checking in with each other.
Okay? Backing each other's
stories, playing it safe.
And we'll be fine.
As long as Becka keeps her mouth shut.