Belascoaran, PI (2022) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Wake up.
- Where's your gun?
- What's going on?
There's a dead Roman in the bathroom.
Tell him to see me
after he takes a leak
This isn't a goddamn joke.
Hm. Yeah.
Come on! Whoever killed him
might still be waiting here
to kill the both of us!
Are you serious?
Yes.
Oh, fuck me.
You were right, buddy.
This time they went too far.
- Who?
- What do you mean who?
The bastards that did this.
Should we call the cops?
Why? So they can
finally pin a murder on us?
We can't leave him here.
What's that?
I think these assholes
are trying to frame me.
They clearly love me.
Mm
We have to get out of here.
And keep watch from outside,
away from the trap.
Let's go.
- Move it!
- Okay.
NETFLIX PRESENTS
Damn it.
THERE WON'T BE A HAPPY ENDING
And I thought
I'd really seen it all in this office.
I'm sure this is payback
for outing fucking Paniagua.
I bet the Roman
whips a wooden Christ
during the Holy Week celebration,
in Iztapalapa.
Don't be an idiot, buddy.
That's in April, it's October.
No.
He must have just left a party.
It's almost Halloween.
Get that off the table.
Careful, we're on high alert here.
Someone left a dead body in our office.
Don't they say
that you reap what you sow?
Yeah.
The cops'll be here
any minute to arrest me.
What if we get rid of it
before they get here?
We could take it up to the ladies' room.
Yeah?
Or the taco joint.
They can always use extra meat.
I think you're right.
We can beat them to it.
We'll take the Roman
and bring him to the morgue.
They won't find him,
Amada will help us.
And we'll need your truck, buddy.
Come on, move!
Fine.
Bye.
You're killing me, man.
What?
You're gonna mess up my truck.
And I'm never gonna hear the end of it.
Come on. Your truck already
smells like a corpse, she won't notice.
You can talk to her!
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Pivot to the right.
- Thank you, guys. One second.
- Go, careful.
Watch the tile, man!
You're gonna chip it!
You got it, go on.
Be careful!
Watch out.
Oh shit.
He's gone.
What the hell?
How is he gone?
There's no way.
They slipped by.
Eh.
You didn't miss that much.
That Roman, he wasn't very accurate.
It was the idiots moving the fridge.
Are you shitting me?
Don't sound like idiots.
Hey Eulogio!
Hey Eulogio.
Eulogio, did you see
guys in suits carrying a fridge?
They just left in an orange van.
Oh my God.
And did you see anything,
maybe the plates or something?
No, I can't help you with that,
my eyesight is absolutely terrible.
Damn it.
Thank you.
They took the Roman.
This came for you.
I guess someone slipped it under the door
while we were at the café.
"Stay out of it."
- Stay out of what?
- I don't know.
What's that?
A plane ticket
to Los Angeles.
With my name, for tomorrow night.
What?
Eh, you're right.
To Los Angeles, the land of
Mickey Mouse and Hollywood.
If they don't want me
getting involved in any of this,
why the dead Roman?
Why take him away?
- What're they playing at?
- Bastards.
You're going?
Are you kidding me?
Fuck Disneyland
and fuck their stupid threats.
I'm getting fucking involved.
Get me a Keli-Cola.
Here.
You're not gonna open it for me?
Of course.
- Take it.
- You nearly poked my other eye out.
The nasty-looking suits
staking out the office
were now at my apartment.
I felt a familiar shiver
run down my spine,
no place in the city felt safe now.
How did they get him out
in a refrigerator like that?
- At this point, who cares?
- Were they that strong?
Yes.
Let's drop it for now. All right?
I'm tired of dead Romans.
There's something more suspicious.
Mm. I've noticed there's no
whiskey mixed in your coffee.
Are Are you pregnant?
Oh, little brother.
No, you're kidding me.
I have to admit your powers of deduction
have improved quite a lot.
No fucking way!
Turns out my night
spent with a Chilean exile had, well
unexpected consequences.
I'm an uncle?
Maybe.
What?
- I don't know if I'm keeping it yet.
- Why not?
It could be the stork's last call.
I know.
The social struggle and diapers don't mix.
Where there's a will there's a way.
I'm just saying, who wants to raise
a child in this insane city where
dead Romans turn up in your bathroom?
Eh, I'll give you that one.
Who the hell was the Roman?
Somewhere in this city,
he had his diapers changed,
he took his first steps.
Sometimes this place
feels like one big joke.
Oh my God.
You scared the shit out of me.
He's for you, from Chihuahua.
His name is Rataplán.
Can you drive me to the morgue?
- How romantic.
- Yeah.
It's just
I want to see if there's a corpse there
that I lost this morning.
Yeah, well you smell like
you've been living there for a week
You should take a shower.
The airline said
it was paid in cash and there was no name.
But why Los Angeles, not Rio or Moscow?
I guess they want me to go to Disneyland
instead of asking any questions.
- Are you going?
- No, I'm going to investigate.
Though, I'd love a vacation. I'm beat.
Besides, Los Angeles is
the world capital of private detectives.
But you're not private,
you're independent.
Yeah.
But how cool would it be to go and
walk streets written about
by Raymond Chandler?
Well, there you have it.
I'll come with you.
- Are you serious?
- Of course.
You can't go solo.
Especially with all the femme fatales.
I can take care of myself.
Mm-hm.
I have my doubts.
A California honeymoon
would be pretty nice.
Too bad I can't leave.
Why?
What do you mean?
I have to take care of my rabbit.
You're very cute, you know.
I'll buy my ticket
and meet you at the airport tonight.
Of all the showers in the world,
you had to walk into mine.
This is the guy
you were looking for, right?
Yeah, that's him.
They found him near El Molinito,
along the Toluca highway.
He was dressed as
A Roman.
Isn't that odd, Dr. Amada?
Well, we don't discriminate,
we get corpses
of all flavors, colors, and smells.
- You want some candy?
- No.
I'm fine. Um
Anything else you can tell me?
Not really, except that one
was killed the same way.
You being serious? The same?
- Yes.
- This one?
Take a look.
- Oh my God.
- The cuts are
identical.
They're a maestro.
This murderer must
have particularly steady hands.
- And this one
- Ugh.
has ligature marks
around both of his wrists.
- So then
- You see it?
Yeah.
Did anyone from
the police station stop by?
Oh, yeah.
The chief of police dropped by early on.
- He came early but didn't seem to care.
- What? The chief?
Yeah, the big man himself came to visit
He looked them over
and said, "You can keep them."
He didn't even take a look at
the cuts, the bruises, nothing.
Did he have anything on him?
That I could maybe
use to identify him with?
- You see?
- What?
This is why
we get along so beautifully.
You know what questions to ask.
No wallet on him,
but this was found in his pants.
Thank you.
MEXICAN ELECTRIC COMPANY
#28 GUANAJUATO BUILDING
Hello.
Letter B.
The carpentry shop?
- It's straight back there.
- Thanks.
- Sure.
- No. She went with Emiliano.
Hey, it was my turn.
Eh.
Morning.
Hey.
Hate to say this,
we're closed for the day.
Our friend Augustin was killed,
so we closed early to have a wake.
Yeah, I know.
He was
my friend too.
Do you mind
if I join you for a drink, hmm?
Be my guest.
- Drink up.
- Oh, look at that.
Thanks so much.
Was no one else invited to his wake?
Didn't Augustin have any other friends?
He was an old grump.
No offense,
if you were really close with him.
No, no.
We met recently.
He was a real jerk, wasn't he?
He worked everywhere and nobody
nobody liked him.
Hold on. He had that friend Leobardo.
- Who?
- Leobardo.
He works at a cabaret
by San Juan de Letran.
Really? Which one?
Venus Fountain.
- Beautiful, voluptuous women.
- Ah.
Oh yeah, they're sexy!
Uh-huh.
That's crazy stuff, huh?
Yeah.
Well.
To Augus.
I hope he makes friends
at least in heaven.
Ooh. If he made it.
Rest in peace.
Maybe the best way to measure life
is by how many good friends you made.
It's just a blip of time
between the doctor lifting you up
by your legs and slapping your ass,
to people toasting to your recent demise.
Who'll be at my wake?
Will there be a reason to celebrate?
Will the women I loved be there?
Will the girl with the ponytail be there?
Or will she send
a postcard from Disneyland.
THE FOUNTAIN OF VENUS PRESENTS
KASSANDRA AND HER ROMAN LEGION
Now, welcome to the stage,
the undulating queen
of San Juan de Letran.
The owner of curves
that will make
the drool pool at your sad little feet.
Give it up for the only,
the sexiest, the inimitable,
Kassandra!
Come on!
Please be patient with me.
My dear lovers.
You'll get plenty of Kassandra.
But I must make
an important announcement that has
brought me great pain.
My good friends,
Agustin
and Leobardo,
have both tragically passed away.
As many of you know,
Leobardo was a Roman.
He performed with passion
to share in our happiness
and sorrows.
To Agustin
and Leobardo.
They will always remain in our hearts.
Right, my captain?
Cheers!
Cheers to them!
Now, just as they wanted,
the show must go on.
Music!
Hey, excuse me.
Yes, sir?
Could I get another Keli-Cola, please?
- Certainly.
- Oh, one more thing.
Yes?
Can you tell me who that is?
That's Captain Mutt.
Do you know his real name?
Don't. You should ask Kassandra.
They say he's buttering her bread.
Let me bring you your order.
- Hey.
- Evening.
FAREWELL ZORAK THE GREA
ACCIDENTAL DEATH
FROM HELICOPTER FALL
Coming!
I promise I won't be long.
Sorry.
- Who the hell are you?
- Uh, listen to me.
Listen to me. Calm down. Okay?
Who are you?
I'm just someone who
who thinks that your friends,
were killed by the same person.
So don't worry, I'm only trying to help.
A journalist?
No, I'm an
independent detective.
I don't buy or sell.
I'm only looking for the truth here.
You used to work with this Zorak guy?
That Zorak guy was my husband.
I'm very sorry.
- Was this his?
- Yeah.
It's nice, isn't it?
Beautiful.
I made it all.
- You don't say.
- By hand.
I made one for every occasion.
People even thought they were designer.
He looked amazing in everything.
Hey! Stop it!
- That's an original. Take it off!
- Sorry, sorry.
What's the story
with you and Captain Mutt?
Captain Mutt was hired as his bodyguard.
Why'd he need one of those?
Don't all famous people have one?
We were a team.
For many years, until the
The accident, right?
What accident? Zorak was killed.
Who killed him?
No idea.
All I know is,
they messed up
the safety wire on that helicopter.
- Hey, you. You free?
- Yes, sir.
The airport, quickly, please.
Thanks
Who was Zorak?
Beyond being at the heart of a story
of two men with their throats slit.
He had left a widow behind
under mysterious circumstances.
I was getting the sense
that the dead Roman was a deadly riddle
written with the bloody tip
of an assassin's blade.
STAY OUT OF I
The most sensible thing to do
would have been to escape the city
and lay low in California,
hand in hand
with the girl with the ponytail.
- Hello, sir.
- Hi there.
I was wondering
if I could get a refund for this.
A good joke.
Whoever pulled me in, got one over on me.
Belascoarán, Shayne.
I'll consider this an advance for solving
Agustin and Leobardo's untimely deaths.
They had somehow
asked me for justice from beyond.
I'm sorry.
You want to know about Zorak?
I'll tell you about Zorak.
Uh-huh.
Oh, my friend.
I don't even know where to start.
From the beginning would be fine by me.
Well to start, his real name was,
Arturo Vallespino Gonzalez.
"Zorak" came later.
As a kid, he was a milkman in Durango.
He dreamed of rubbing elbows
with all the superstars
who filmed there at the time.
John Wayne, Robert Mitchum,
Jack Palance, big shots.
Legend has it,
one day in a shitty brothel,
he met a Filipino fugitive
who dazzled people with gymnastics,
and he took the boy as his disciple.
He taught him gymnastics,
escapism, karate.
Like putting Houdini,
Bruce Lee and El Santo in a blender.
- Milkshake with a kick.
- Exactly.
And his first show was
doing 600 push-ups in a sports club,
where, by the way, he was
banging all the bourgeois housewives.
No dummy.
Not at all.
And then Arturo Vallespino Gonzalez, poof!
Disappears.
Only to reappear a month later
on Raul Velasco's
Sunday show, Marathon,
as Zorak,
"The greatest practitioner of feats
of the body and mind."
That's where he met
a cross-eyed young lady
that Velasco had
hired to be his assistant:
the lady Kassandra.
Well, this lady ended up being his wife
and his faithful assistant.
Then Zorak sewed
his iconic scarlet red "Z"
on his cape, his coat, and turban.
The former milkman
rose to national glory,
breaking plenty of eggs along the way,
all while performing
more surprising high-stakes acts.
He was a brave guy.
But what goes up,
we know, must come down.
And one day, in a promotional act
for the inauguration of a subdivision,
he had an accident
on a helicopter and died.
And
Tell me, was it really an accident?
Because the widow says it was murder.
To be honest, that's a story I don't know.
But in this country,
you should always expect anything.
Oh, you're Yeah.
You're listening to XEFS,
The Hour of the Crow,
the show most hated by
corrupt politicians and corrupt police.
This next song is
dedicated to Zorak the Great.
Be sure to stay tuned.
I'm also joined in-studio
by the greatest independent detective
residing in this flawed urban jungle.
Stay with us.
What's up, man? Heading home?
Yeah, it's about time.
It's almost morning.
Yeah.
By the way, we're currently out of sodas.
Ooh. Bummer.
Maybe I shouldn't go to work.
Why don't I just
walk with you to the bus stop.
It'll give me a chance
to see you in the daylight.
And find out what you're hiding.
I must confess.
I'm actually a little spooked.
Being all by myself in the office.
- Makes sense.
- Yeah.
I also have a confession.
Hit me.
I'm leading a double life.
Oh yeah? Tell me.
At night, I monitor sewage networks
but during the day I'm a psychology major.
Wow.
I thought you were a vampire,
sleeping during the day in the sewer.
My girlfriend thinks
I don't care about psychology,
I'm just going back to school
so I can feel young again.
Hmm.
Since you're studying psychology,
why don't you help me
with this crazy fucking case?
It'd be good for your thesis. Hm?
Oh shit.
Take cover now.
Ah!
Ow! Ah!
Fuck.
Fucking hell.
I killed him.
You had to kill him.
You saved my life.
I really owe you, buddy.
- I killed him.
- Yeah.
I got that one.
It feels shitty, doesn't it?
Going around killing people,
in self-defense.
Okay, you can drop it.
Metro security?
- Hey, we need to go.
- Yeah.
Let's move it. Now!
This way.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Damn it, Rataplán.
What do you think?
Want to help me
fight the forces of evil? Hm?
Some fucking fascists
dressed in suits and sunglasses
that are trying to murder me.
Hey.
You gonna clean that shit up, Rataplán?
What!?
Good afternoon, sir.
If you have a moment,
I'd like to come inside
and talk with you about the Lord.
Goddamn it, Elisa.
Sorry.
I'm just here to spread
the Good Word about our Savior
and now He sees
how awful you treat me.
You scared the shit out of me.
What the hell
are you doing with a fucking rabbit?
Oh.
He's my new ally
against the forces of evil.
And what happened
with the mystery of the Roman?
Tell me about that.
The case got a lot weirder than I thought.
How so?
I met a cross-eyed cabaret dancer
and then this guy, Captain Mutt.
Ah.
Went to the wake of an asshole carpenter.
And I just had
a shoot-out in Pasaje América.
Uh, all right.
I suspect all roads
don't actually lead to Rome,
but to Zorak.
- Zorak?
- Yeah.
The guy with the helicopter?
All of them worked for that bastard.
Here's the wildest part,
his widow is pretty sure
that it wasn't an accident.
She thinks he was murdered.
If he was murdered, he deserved that.
Why?
Zorak wasn't a victim.
Rumor has it that he's the one
who trained the Hawks.
What Hawks?
What do mean,
"What Hawks?", little brother? Ha!
You're saying that it's the same ones
that did the Hawk Strike student massacre?
Those assholes.
Trained by Zorak.
They killed him, hmm.
Without having to lift a single finger.
Well, now it's starting to make sense.
That means they
must've thrown him out of it
just to cover up his connection.
He was a loose end.
But why wait until now
to cut the throats of his assistants?
And leave one in the bathroom for you.
It doesn't make any sense.
I think the answer has to do with a dog.
A dog whose name is Captain Mutt.
You given it any thought?
On what?
Aunt Lety's fruit punch recipe.
The baby, what else?
I haven't decided.
Why not?
I'm afraid a baby
will distract me from my activism.
- Just like with Mama.
- Exactly
She was less involved
with her causes after having us.
I guess so.
Someone told me diapers
and Molotov cocktails don't mix.
Although, I think
Molotov diapers sound pretty cool.
Stop it, you're being so gross!
A poop explosion!
You can keep your poop bomb!
- And you, Rataplán?
- You can drop me off here.
Are you gonna help me
patent my Molotov diapers?
What a team, huh?
You guys are unstoppable.
This morning
a shootout in Pasaje America
left two people dead.
The Chief of Police
says the violence broke out between
two rival newspaper delivery groups.
"Newspaper delivery" my ass.
The guild of independent detectives
against the forces of evil.
Any thoughts?
Not a peep about Metro police.
Or a one-eyed man.
Ah, goddamn it, Rataplán.
You're tearing up my shit.
Go! And don't come back!
- Leave him alone! Whatever.
- I left him alone. Go away!
What do you think, Rataplán?
We should wait until morning.
She'll lead us
to Captain Mutt, you'll see.
I'm willing to bet you some carrot juice
If he was Zorak's bodyguard,
he would've been around.
You know, maybe he was in the helicopter.
Maybe he saw what happened.
And maybe he was involved.
Let's go to sleep, Rataplán.
Honk twice if you see anything.
Okay? I'm counting on you.
Put your hands on your head.
You sure you know how to use that?
It's easy, you just pull the trigger.
The forces of evil.
Tell Alvaro to start the car.
You're kidding me.
What the fuck. Fuck me.
Madam?
Can you hear me? Hey, madam?
I'm Héctor Belascoarán, the detective.
Remember me?
We have to go. Come on now.
I'll help you. Come on, get up.
Oh, of course.
How lucky. Goddamn it.
I think it's wide enough.
All right. One, two
One, two
Push!
Careful, careful!
Suck it in.
This way, turn, turn, turn.
Okay, turn this way.
Fuck me, man.
Fucking shit.
You should just leave. Without me.
Yeah. Uh Careful.
I'll be back for you.
I promise.
Thanks, detective.
Hurry back.
Of course you're a Club America fan.
You heavy son of a bitch.
Alvaro?
You fucked up big time.
Go on.
Faster.
As you've seen,
I have no problem killing any of you guys.
But if you tell me what I want,
I may just let you walk away.
Instead of doing target practice,
with your balls.
With your one good eye?
One eye's enough
to blow your tiny nuts off.
How long have you been Metro security?
I've been there since '71.
Were you at the Hawk Strike?
Did you shoot at students, you asshole?
I shot.
But I wasn't aiming for them.
STUDENTS CARNAGE
You met Zorak during training.
I mean, sure.
He was a real badass.
And then you guys killed him?
How should I know?
Why did you
wait until now to kill his assistants
and why were you beating on Kassandra?
And why the hell did you
leave a Roman for me, huh?
We go to the Juanacatlán station
and they give us orders for the day!
Who gives the orders?
Give me a name.
Ah!
Motherfucker!
Probably should have shot him.
But I had enough bodies on my conscience.
- Hey.
- Hey, Elisa!
My car?
You can pick it up
in the Cuauhtemoc district.
In Cuauhtemoc? You're kidding.
And you better hurry
because my rabbit is in there
chewing up your seats.
I've learned he's kind of a punk.
- You okay?
- Yeah.
I still haven't figured out
the reason I'm involved in this but
I think I'm close to it.
All right.
Thanks, Elisa.
That asshole Paniagua
has been pulling the strings
this whole time.
Cuesta confessed, live on air,
to being asked by him to kill two men,
and Paniagua spent five minutes in jail.
Mexican justice.
They moved him like a chess piece
from one side of the board to the other.
And now Paniagua knew that I knew.
I couldn't go home or to my office.
I was being hunted
and I needed a safe house
where I could stay off their radar.
Five bucks he falls.
I'm in.
He's gonna fall, he's gonna fall,
he's gonna fall, he's gonna fall!
Fall, fall.
Fall.
Ooh!
I think that means you owe me five bucks.
That's a shitty bet to make,
you little brats.
What the hell?
Goddamn it.
What's this?
A surprise?
You look like shit.
Thank you.
I need a place to spend the night.
My place isn't safe.
Why are you here?
- I live here.
- Yeah, I know.
I thought you got in tomorrow.
I changed tickets.
I missed Keli-Cola with lime too much.
Are you gonna let me in?
Really?
Hey.
Open up.
No.
Mm-hmm.
CRIME OF PASSION IN CUAUHTÉMOC
No mention of Zorak
or the Metro security guards.
Do they mention
the one-eyed vigilante
who stands up girls in airports?
They have her in custody at the hospital.
They're going to charge her with
killing her lover in a crime of passion,
these assholes. No fucking way.
At least she's not in the morgue.
Yeah, but she will be.
Those bastards don't mess around.
We have to get her out.
Isn't she going to be guarded?
Yeah.
She will but
I have an idea.
Good morning, doctor.
Doctor
Doctor Belascoarán.
Héctor Belascoarán.
Can I get you some coffee?
You look so tired.
Thank you, uh Paty.
I'd love some,
but unfortunately
I have a patient waiting for me.
Thank you though. Take care of yourself.
- Good morning, doctor.
- Hello.
The white coat suited me perfectly.
Morning.
And Belascoarán Shayne
was a killer name for a doctor.
I should have done a mail-in course
to be a doctor instead of detective.
Doctors are respected by everyone
and don't get shot at.
The best part of it all,
they don't have to share
their Keli-Colas with office mates.
And I guess they actually save lives,
instead of taking them left and right.
Behave yourself
unless you want a third eye.
Ah. What're you doing?
Your hands up.
Get up.
Go on.
Open the door.
Close it.
Close the door, do it.
Okay. Keep walking.
Here, stand there. Look outside.
How're you holding up?
Uh
Yeah.
Fine.
How many of them?
Two.
The other stays overnight.
They say they're police.
It's the same people
who tried to kill you.
What do these assholes want?
That's why I'm here.
You're, uh, Zorak's widow.
Yeah. What does he have to do with it?
Zorak trained the Hawks.
- Who's that?
- Kassandra, don't play dumb.
I mean, why did they
throw him out of a helicopter?
It was envy.
Oh, come on.
They were jealous of his success.
With all due respect,
that's a load of shit.
I'm pretty damn sure
they killed your friends
for their connection
to your husband and the Hawks.
You got it wrong, detective.
Oh yeah? Why?
Zorak died years ago.
Sure.
Goddamn it.
And you didn't notice anything strange,
like your friends
were acting distant or different?
Honestly, they were acting weird.
Mysterious.
Saying they were going
to clear the master's name.
- Who knows
- Captain Mutt didn't say anything to you?
- To me?
- Uh-huh.
He never talks to me.
Only
"You look so hot, mamacita."
- A broken record.
- Yeah.
I tried to break it off a bunch but
And now they'll say
you slit his throat.
Look, Kassandra, um
Can you walk?
Yeah.
Héctor
Be safe.
Thank you.
Until next time.
Hey!
Just because you have a gun
and you're a fancy detective
doesn't mean
you get the chocolate one.
- Aw. That's not fair!
- What?
We're a democracy. Half and half.
Half and half.
And here we are,
spending all day risking our skin for you.
Any problems?
A couple suits hanging around the office.
The same guys with guns and dark glasses.
The engineer turned ghost white
when he saw them.
Well, I can't stop thinking
about the guy whose jaw I blew off.
I've had nightmares for two days. Ah.
Ah. Give yourself a break. It happens.
Sure, you killed him,
but he had it coming, didn't he?
Yeah.
So what're you gonna do?
Is there some kind of plan for all this?
You know, so we're ready.
Well, I'll tell you as soon as I know.
But for now,
we need some reinforcements.
I'll take this half for the road.
"Democracy"
What's up, little brother?
What's this?
- He has a Halloween costume.
- You're kidding.
Didn't you say he was a punk?
You were right.
For the entire day this guy's
been shitting all over my house.
Must've eaten too much of my car seats.
I know, I'm sorry,
I'll get them all fixed up soon.
- You better.
- Me and Rataplán.
We want Halloween!
We want Halloween!
We want Halloween!
Don't be babies.
Why are you celebrating
an American tradition
made to promote consumerism?
- Look at you!
- We celebrate Day of the Dead.
Heard of it?
Give us some candy now!
The hell?
Yeah, and your pirate costume sucks!
Oh!
Son of a bitch.
Those little shits.
See, that's why I don't want kids.
Get inside!
No! Elisa!
Fuck me.
They killed my neighbor.
They're cops.
Ex-Hawks.
- You okay?
- I'm fine.
- Let me see.
- No! No, I'm fine.
You need a hospital.
No hospital. It's gonna be full of police.
We have to go. We have to go.
Come on, come on, come on.
A plane of Western Airline
returning from Los Angeles
crashed at Mexico City
International Airport this afternoon.
The loss of life has made it
Oh my God.
the single greatest
aviation tragedy in our country's history.
That's my plane.
My return flight from Los Angeles.
And mine.
I could've been there as well.
Well, I guess
there's no way to control
when it's your time to go.
It's been reported that the plane
suddenly lost communication
What if those bastards
crashed the plane to kill me?
No!
They threw Zorak out of a helicopter.
What are the chances they give
me a ticket and then the plane blows up.
- Don't flatter yourself, little brother.
- Ah, jeez.
It was an accident,
it had nothing to do with you.
You should be thinking about
what your next steps are going to be.
Suppose you take down the Metro guards.
Then what? Is it the police?
Then are you going to move on
to the entire Mexican army?
No, no. This is stupid.
You'll die.
Maybe.
I just want to know why they
dragged me into this whole fucking mess.
Why else? Because we're in Mexico.
Then he needs to leave Mexico.
By the way things are looking,
I really can't imagine a happy ending.
I'm not going anywhere.
I'm staying here,
I'm cracking the case,
and I'm taking them down.
They can go after me
but they can't shoot my sister.
Or kill my neighbor.
Her neighbor who didn't
have anything to do with it!
So what do we do then?
We're gonna have to go on the offensive.
I have a friend in the press
that I can tell about
the Hawks in the Metro.
- I'm sure they'll publish it.
- Nah, I don't know.
I want something more direct.
I'm sick and tired of being hunted.
I think it's time to become the hunter.
Are you sure
about this shitty plan?
It is kind of crazy.
Kind of?
No more crazy
than saving a kidnapped girl
with a gang of prostitutes.
If I survive this
would you want to marry me?
Don't go surrealist on me.
I'm serious.
No, wait.
What?
You're only asking this
because you think you'll die.
Well, kinda.
When you stare death in the face
you see things more clearly, right?
What matters most.
What's wrong with that?
Nothing.
It's nice to know
that you consider me a thing.
Oh
- Ugh.
- Quit playing with it.
It's itchy!
My balls have never been
so restricted in my life.
Suck it up.
It's all for a good cause, buddy.
God help us.
Good morning, miss.
Um, can I ask you
to read this note over the PA system
in about five minutes?
I'm not allowed to.
- Oh, come on now.
- My supervisor will fire me.
If you get fired
take this.
Maybe that'll make it worth it.
We good?
Ready?
If something happens to me,
my wife is gonna kill you.
You know how scary she can be.
Calm down, buddy.
I've always known deep down
you had great fucking superpowers.
- Quickly.
- Help me.
It's stuck.
- Watch your foot.
- Ah!
- Suck in your gut.
- Hey!
Don't break it, it's the original.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's my pleasure
I'm actually getting in character.
to present to you
the return of the great Zorak.
No one will touch you.
Move it.
The greatest practitioner
of body and mind.
Zorak escaped death itself
and today will perform a historical act!
- Right here?
- Yeah, go.
I got you. Go.
- It's pretty high.
- Come on.
- Uh, let me jump. Hold on, okay.
- Careful.
All right?
- Don't chicken out.
- No way.
You got this.
Anyone who wants
to witness this miracle,
head to the platform.
- Zorak is back?
- This guy is gonna die.
Is he a magician? Let's go!
It's Zorak! It is Zorak!
Wasn't he muscular?
Looks like this guy needs to be on a diet.
Zorak is on the platform!
It's coming! I see the train!
It'll work. It'll work.
What happened?
I thought you'd stop it sooner, damn it.
I almost shit my pants.
Sorry, promise I'll buy you a donut
when we get outta here.
Move it! Step aside!
- Come on!
- Let's go!
Come on!
You owe me
the biggest breakfast of my life.
FEDERICO PANIAGUA
HEAD OF SECURITY
Good afternoon, Commander.
If you wanted to talk,
you could have called me.
Sooner or later,
you're gonna die.
You're a dead man.
Thanks for telling me that.
I guess since
we're both dead men,
we can chat corpse to corpse, huh?
Look.
How do I explain this?
My, uh, my ex-wife said
I'm curious like a cat.
So before the last of nine lives run out,
explain why you got me involved in this.
Those dipshits got you into this.
Ah. You mean friends of Zorak.
Yeah. I guess they heard you were a
Sherlock knock off. Ooh-ooh.
They wanted to hire you to investigate.
The helicopter crash.
Uh-huh.
But ol' Captain Mutt caved in.
He told me about it.
That's why I left the body in your office,
so you wouldn't
get involved with any of it.
Clearly you didn't get the message.
But they never contacted me.
Or hired me.
What the hell?
Really?
You didn't know about Zorak
when I left the Roman?
Not a clue.
You're shitting me.
This was all a fucking misunderstanding?
Goddamn it.
Mother fucker!
Fucking shit.
Looks like it.
Crazy how things work out sometimes.
So you killed all of those guys
because of a fucking misunderstanding.
I'm not the same.
That was all in self-defense.
You guys are assholes
who killed in cold blood
and wanted to make
his poor widow take the fall.
That's the job.
You gotta pay the rent somehow.
Besides, it's not like
the dancer didn't know the game
and everything her husband was into.
Don't fall for her bullshit.
What about the plane?
Did you shoot it down to get rid of me?
Don't be stupid, all right.
You're not Fidel Castro.
Oh!
Oh fuck me!
Paniagua? Paniagua?
Ah! You asshole! Help me down!
We even?
Even, yeah.
You still owe me a strip down,
but let's call it a day,
shall we?
Thanks.
Thanks.
Ah!
Pow.
Go, go!
Please marry me.
Ah.
Ah, Goddamn it.
You're up early.
How are you?
Fine.
Don't look fine.
I'm a misunderstanding,
who bruised his tailbone.
I'm fine, though.
I wasn't able
to fall asleep at all last night.
- I'm sorry for dragging you into this.
- Ah.
That's not why.
Why?
It's because I'm having a girl.
We need more good
people to help change this damn city.
That's a hell of a reason. I love you.
You're an uncle to a girl.
How's that, Rataplán? Hmm?
How do you know it's a girl?
It's just wishful thinking.
All men are completely useless.
Well, this useless man
is going to enjoy some Keli-Colas
with his colleagues to celebrate
our victory over the forces of evil.
Don't ever change, little brother.
Later.
Don't give him carrots, he hates them.
I had kicked power square in the balls.
Punched it in the nose, too.
Hey there.
But, of course, I was aware
that I had only won a round,
not the entire fight.
The chief of police,
now the former chief of police,
presented his resignation
after being linked with
the Hawks Metro subway scandal.
You will remember the images
that we presented regarding this group
were quite disturbing.
We recommend sending
little ones out of the room
The forces of evil in Mexico
are like some kind of mythical beast.
For every head we cut off,
they sprout two new ones.
HAWK'S NES
It was tempting
to give up and throw in the towel.
To let myself be lulled to the big sleep
by the crooked ref's ten count,
and just lay there on the canvas.
Yeah, I was tempted.
Nightmare, I dream someone is dying ♪
Somewhere my dream is coming true ♪
Somewhere I hear a sound that's crying ♪
Listen and you will hear it too ♪
Blood River ♪
Blood River ♪
It is the night
and the hills all around ♪
Seem to be still
Not a sigh, not a sound ♪
Yet you can feel
Like a ring in the air ♪
Something is waiting
To happen out there ♪
Nightmare, I dream someone is dying ♪
Somewhere my dream is coming true ♪
Somewhere I hear a sound that's crying ♪
Listen and you will hear it too ♪
Blood River ♪
Blood River ♪
Blood ♪
Blood, Blood, Blood ♪
Blood River ♪