Brand New Cherry Flavor (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

- [birds chirping]
- [insects chittering]
[eerie music playing]
[voices whispering indistinctly]
[cat meows]
[whispering continues]
[eerie screeching]
[phone ringing]
Hi.
- Hello.
- [Boro] Hey, sleepyhead.
Didn't anyone ever tell you
that the early bird gets the worm?
[chuckles]
[sighs]
How's that little plant I gave you?
Not so little anymore?
Well, it's wild, just like you.
What is this?
[knocking on door]
[Lisa] Hello,
it's your neighbor from upstairs.
Strange question, is there a vine
growing through your ceiling?
What the fuck?
[pipes clanking]
[exhales]
[faucet running]
[Lou] Jesus, are you drinking tap?
[coughing]
I don't like uninvited guests.
Especially when they're you.
Look at this. Green water means
corroded copper pipes.
You're literally poisoning yourself
and you have no idea.
You look great. You're glowing.
You got a fever?
What the fuck are you doing here?
I've been calling you for three days
and you don't pick up.
You were here yesterday.
No, I'm pretty sure it was three days ago
I let you rip out some of my short hairs.
They've grown back already. It's
High testosterone.
Yeah, at any rate, I've been waiting
for this curse of yours to kick in, but
so far nada.
Very disappointing.
Reminds me of when I was a kid
me and my cousin got this Roman candle.
I remember, we were so excited.
We were gonna show off
to everybody on the street,
and I could just see it in my head,
this orgasm of fire and noise and
In the moment of truth, right,
we light it
[hissing]
Waiting, waiting, waiting
- [stomps]
- Fuck!
Nothing.
It was a dud. We got ripped off.
There's a lesson there about expectations.
Something maybe
you've been grappling with.
Look, I didn't come here to ride you.
I've been calling to offer you something
I think you actually might appreciate.
And what might that be?
A job.
As my assistant.
Why the fuck would I wanna do that?
Because that's how people get started.
How they learn the ins and outs of
this business, how they make connections.
You'll be in the game.
You can even pitch ideas.
I mean, don't you wanna be part
of the process?
Don't you wanna be part of
this?
- [scoffs]
- That's my movie.
They're predicting "box office magic."
Maybe you accidentally
put a reverse curse on me.
[both laugh]
- Yeah.
- [Lisa] Oh
Congratulations.
And you know what?
In a year or two, they're gonna be writing
the same thing about your movie.
Well, my movie based on
your, you know, concept,
but we all want it to be a hit, right?
Rising tide, all the boats.
I mean, that's what making a movie is.
Don't come here uninvited, okay?
Think it over.
Let's have lunch later this week.
The sushi place.
Goodbye.
Thursday.
Sorry again about your Roman candle,
but the future looks bright.
Fuck!
[eerie music playing]
- [birds, insects chittering]
- [voices whispering]
["Low" playing]
[meows]
Dusk is dawn is day ♪
Where did it go ♪
I've been laughing ♪
Fast and slow ♪
Moving in a still frame ♪
Howling at the moon ♪
Morning found me laughing ♪
Up and down, down ♪
Low, low, low ♪
Night suits me fine ♪
And morning suits me fine ♪
I've been so happy, happy ♪
Way up high, high ♪
Down below ♪
Low, low, low ♪
Low, low, low ♪
I skipped the part about love ♪
It seems so silly ♪
And low ♪
[groaning]
No.
[groaning]
[dramatic music playing]
[coughs]
[gags]
Oh
[Lisa gagging]
- [groans]
- Nice digs.
You have really made the place your own.
- [sighs]
- What's this? Oh.
Oh
[laughing] Oh, my.
You know what? I'm glad you came by.
Why isn't Lou suffering
like you said he would?
He's inviting me to lunch.
He's rubbing it in my face.
What do you feed your plants?
[cat mewling]
Grew even faster than I thought.
So, I just stopped by to check up on you.
Tell me, how are things going?
What's been happening?
Why don't you tell me?
What the fuck did you do to me?
I did tell you. I connected you to him.
Yeah, and I'm the one suffering.
A bunch of fucked-up shit
is happening to me.
Nothing is happening to him.
And how is the shit fucked up?
I'm having nightmares.
Nightmares I used to have as a kid.
Hmm.
The ritual may be
enhancing certain fears
or psychic injuries
that pre-existed our meeting.
And that thing you said would go away?
It's not going away.
I can feel it watching me.
It's scary.
When's that gonna stop?
Well, if it comes to you again,
just ignore it.
It can show itself,
but it's trapped on the other side.
Shouldn't be able to hurt you.
"Shouldn't"?
I can protect you.
I'm Boro.
Go ahead and live your life.
Have lunch with Lou.
No. I'm not doing that.
Oh, come on.
What if I told you that
in the course of this lunch
Lou might just develop
an unpleasant condition?
[soft jazz music playing]
[Lou] How do you eat a whale?
You know that saying?
One bite at a time.
Pride is like a big fucking sperm whale
covered in kraken battle scars.
Doesn't go down in one bite.
Mm.
[swallows]
[coughing]
[ominous music playing]
[coughs, then clears throat]
[coughing]
But [clears throat]
Excuse me.
You've had a couple days now
to swallow that enormous sea creature.
More than enough time to peruse
my generous offer, so
what's it gonna be?
You in or out?
I know why you want me to work for you.
Because you're a promising talent,
and I wanna help you become
all you can be as an artist.
No.
Because Jules Brandenberg
is a fucking joke, and you know it.
So you wanna bring me in
at what I assume is minimum wage
and harvest any useful ideas I might have,
without credit,
for that bastardized version of my film.
How about associate producer?
I get a vanity title?
While that Neanderthal
sits in the director's chair?
Jules
like it or not, has paid his dues.
You know, he's directed several
very successful music videos.
Yes, he needs hand-holding
and doors opened, but
I can do that.
It's kinda my thing.
An example: We have these little
screenings at my house once a month.
Important people come.
We're doing one next week.
Jules is coming.
There'll be at least one
high-level studio head there.
Play your cards right
you can come to the next one.
Let me ask you something.
If Jules needs so much hand-holding,
why hire him, Lou?
Why not just give me back my film?
Why is that so unthinkable?
Lisa
[clears throat]
What you just don't get
[hiccups, then clears throat]
What you don't get [hiccups]
Oh. [clears throat]
Lisa [hiccups] Oh.
[clears throat] Goddamn it.
[hiccuping] Oh.
- [clears throat]
- Drink water.
Uh I'm I'm
[clears throat] I'm drinking water.
That is what I was literally doing
right now. [hiccuping]
No, you know what you have to do?
You have to suck on a lemon.
No. You gotta pull on your tongue.
Or gargle with salt water.
It's [clears throat, hiccups]
This [hiccups] Embarrassing. Ahh.
[hiccups, then clears throat]
[Lisa] Fucking hiccups?
Hiccups suck.
Scrub. I wanna see suds.
You mentioned another ritual,
one with a poison toad.
- Would that speed this whole thing up?
- We can't do the poison toad.
- [Lisa] Why?
- It's too dangerous.
Too much blood and sex magic.
It might kill you.
Then give him a fucking
brain-eating amoeba
or a Brazilian spider that makes
his dick hard until it falls off.
I like that for Lou.
Here.
Go and dry off.
I'm hearing voices,
I'm seeing nightmare shit
and he's got fucking hiccups?
Lisa, I
I had another life before this,
and I clung to it,
and did something I can never take back.
You are stuck in your past.
Unless you let go of it
none of this will work.
I want him to hurt.
For real.
Now.
Does the vine I gave you grow flowers yet?
If you can find one,
take its pollen
and get it inside him.
Get it inside him?
Yeah. Put it in his drink, in his ass,
whatever.
Inside him.
Okay. What does it do?
It'll act as an accelerant.
It'll cause him the pain that you want.
Okay.
[knocking on door]
- [Christine screams] Jesus, there you are.
- Whoa.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
What are you doing here?
Fuck.
It really is empty.
I've checked out the whole building
and there is no one else.
I know.
Was this here before?
Uh No.
It grew through the floorboards
in my apartment.
What kind of vine grows down
through the floor?
This is actually kind of pretty.
Hey, does this look cute?
Or like I'm trying too hard?
Where did you find that?
["Forsythia" playing]
Stay still.
- Ew!
- What?
There's a fucking worm in there.
[Lisa] Oh, yeah.
[phone rings]
I'll get it.
Lisa Nova's house.
How may I direct your call?
[Roy] Hey, this is Roy Hardaway.
Is Lisa there?
Um
- Hold on.
- Thanks.
There's a movie star calling for you.
[Christine clears throat]
Ah. Well, hello.
Do you want to go skydiving with me
this weekend?
No, I don't wanna go skydiving with you.
What about skindiving?
I've got a boat off of Catalina.
Are you by any chance invited
to a gathering at Lou Burke's house
- this weekend?
- Oh, yeah. His holiday screening, sure.
[Lisa] Fabulous. I'm gonna need you
to bring me as your date.
Oh. Well, I kind of already
Well, tell her you don't like her anymore.
- [chuckles] What, just like that?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- It's a date, I guess.
- Great. See ya.
Bye.
Well
Look at you.
[rumbling]
Oh, my God. Is that an earthquake?
[whimpers]
[Lisa] I don't think so.
[cat meows]
This, I'm certain, was not here before.
Are you sure?
Yeah, I'm sure.
You helped me move in.
Did you see this fucking pirate ship door?
I'm not I can't remember.
What the fuck is this place?
[grunts]
Jesus, okay, look, here.
[Lisa] All right. On three. Ready?
One, two, three.
[creaking]
- [both grunt]
- Okay. One more time. One more time.
One, two, three.
[creaking]
So, um
what was Roy Hardaway calling about?
Um
We're going to a thing on Saturday.
He wants to fuck me.
Yeah?
What are you gonna wear?
["Deck the Halls" playing]
Deck the halls with boughs of holly ♪
Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
'Tis the season to be jolly ♪
Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
Don we now our gay apparel ♪
Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
Troll the ancient yuletide carol ♪
Fa la la la la
La la la la ♪
See the blazing yule before us ♪
Oh, it's fucking Jules Brandenberg.
I guess that's what paying your dues
looks like.
So, tell me again why you wanna be here
so badly.
Oh. I'm a social masochist.
I get off on going where I'm not wanted.
[Lou] Not wanted? [hiccups]
I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lisa Nova,
but a talent such as yourself is always
[hiccups] welcome in my house.
Especially with such a handsome
gentleman on your arm.
Thanks for bringing her, Roy.
[hiccups] Welcome.
Enjoy yourselves.
[continues hiccuping]
- So, how's the curse going?
- It's a work in progress.
[man] Roy! My man.
I think you're about to get nominated
for a Globe.
Ah. Well, yeah. You never know.
[chuckles] I've got a project
that's perfect
for both you and Charlie Suede.
We need to talk now.
Don ye now your gay apparel ♪
Fa la la la la la
La la la la ♪
Troll the ancient yuletide carol ♪
Fa la la la la la
La la la la ♪
Oh, fa la la la la la
La la la la ♪
[instrumental Christmas music playing]
[indistinct chatter]
[Boro] Lisa.
Denise, this is Lisa.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I like parties.
Is your friend Denise okay?
[Boro] She's dead.
Smile, Denise.
[grunting, wheezing]
[Lou] Lisa Nova.
Come, come. [hiccups]
Come, come. This way.
Meet my friends. Lisa, this is Leslie.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.
- Jody Heights. [hiccups]
- Hi.
[Lou] Of course. Yeah.
Jody, as you probably know, is [hiccups]
Calls all the shots for a small company
called Columbia.
[women chuckling]
- Oh.
- [Lou] Mm-hm. Yeah.
Lisa happens to be,
even though she's just getting started,
a brilliant writer and director.
You know when you get that gut feeling,
that, like, hairs on the back
of your neck thing
when you finally find
a diamond in the rough?
[women chuckling]
Very soon,
I predict,
Lisa Nova will do things
to the hair on the back of your neck.
Yeah? Well, if Lou says you're something,
you must be something.
- [Lou hiccups]
- Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Mm-hm. It's true.
All right [hiccups]
Let's go to the screening room.
Movie's about to start, ándale! [hiccups]
[Jonathan] Yoink.
Hey. Welcome back.
Did you ever get those pubic hairs
that you were looking for?
Yes, I did, but they didn't
have the desired effect.
Hmm. Bummer.
I'm actually surprised that your pride
allowed you to come back here.
Getting arrested doesn't hurt my pride.
Right. No, I mean, just tonight
of all nights.
- Isn't it kinda weird?
- What's weird about tonight?
I mean
What movie is he screening, Jonathan?
[Lou] All right. [clears throat]
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Merry Christmas.
Good to Good to see everybody. Uh
Thanks for coming.
Thanks for remembering the address.
- [crowd chuckling]
- [Lou] It's
[Roy whispers] There you are.
All right, it's a little, uh
[hiccups] different this week.
And shorter than usual.
I'm gonna show you a little film
I happened to grab off
of an assistant's desk.
I shit you not.
It's a little rough around the edges,
but hopefully you'll see in it what I saw,
which is the promise of something bigger.
And thankfully,
we have a very
[hiccups] talented director
who's going to do great things with it.
So, Jules, come on.
Hey. Hi, everyone.
For those of you who only know
my music videos,
my name is Jules Brandenberg.
Major thanks to Lou Burke
for taking a chance on me.
Um, I'm really jazzed to be directing
the feature of this really interesting,
really promising experimental short
that Lou found.
You know
You might find the short
deceptively simple,
but, you know, it's a seed
with so many great ideas
that can be harvested,
themes of, like, Oedipus,
Electra, Prometheus.
[distorting, echoing] So
I really look forward to continuing
these elements.
Oh, yeah, and the short is called
Lucy's Eye,
but we'll probably change the title.
Jules, ladies and gentlemen.
Jules. All right?
- [scattered applause]
- So, you ready to see this thing?
[man] Yeah!
- Are you ready to see this thing?
- [crowd] Yes!
Okay, you can see it.
I'll go I'll turn it on.
[whispering] Did you know that he was
gonna show your film?
[projector beeps]
[water splashing on screen]
[ominous music playing]
Having fun?
Come in.
Shut the door.
Do me a favor, don't mention the coke
to my wife, you know?
[grunts] Sorry
if it was a little weird for you,
but to be fair, I didn't invite you.
Oh, come on, you wanted me to be here.
Here.
[clears throat] Not much,
but it's still good. [sniffs]
Oh.
I got you.
Ladies first.
I'm good.
Oh, come on.
I mean, I can do coke alone,
but I can't do coke alone
[hiccups] oh, with someone else.
That's just pathetic.
Fair enough.
[sniffs]
[coughs softly]
[clears throat]
[snorting]
[coughing] Wow.
Jesus.
What the fuck is that cut with? [coughs]
My dealer's kind of a wild card.
[coughs] You ain't kidding.
- [guests chattering]
- Oh, fuck, shit, I gotta get out there.
[clears throat] Oh
[instrumental Christmas music playing]
[Lou] Hey. Hey. Hey.
I was trying to hide.
Sorry, got a I think I got a
I got bit by something or some
Do you guys feel like you got
any bites or anything?
- [woman] No.
- [Lou] No? I got just, like
You know, maybe it's a food allergy.
I think it's Oh, fuck!
Uh, excuse me, excuse me. Yeah.
Oh! Sorry. It's okay.
Oh, my God! Fucking damn it.
It fucking It's really, yeah
Maybe a food allergy or something.
You know what?
- [woman] Hopefully nothing contagious.
- [Lou] I don't think so.
I don't think so. I mean, we don't have
[high-pitched ringing]
[jaguar growling]
[growling, ringing intensifies]
[Jules screaming]
Help!
- [screaming]
- [man 1] Holy shit!
[man 2] Go call the cops!
- [panting]
- [man 2] Somebody Somebody, go!
[guests clamoring, screaming]
- [man 3] Stand back! Stand back!
- [man 4] Call a doctor!
[Boro] Guess he won't be directing
your movie after all.
- [sirens wailing in distance]
- I didn't want that to happen.
Oh, yes, you did. [snorts]
We're just getting started.
[dramatic music playing]