Britannia (2017) s01e03 Episode Script

1 You've done well, Numidian.
There's one more thing I want you to do.
I am Vitus Aurelius, optio of the Eighth Legion.
Fuck off back to Rome! Now it's a war.
Yesterday, I sent an envoy to parley with your father.
Did he change his mind? Does he even know you're here? Stop killing my people.
Then I'll talk.
The Regni will accept you here, but only as allies against the Cantii scum.
You trust the Regni? Hatred is far more reliable.
Camp here.
If I'm not back by sunrise, you join the others.
You understand? Yes, sir.
Fuck me.
Dad wasn't at home.
He could have been taken prisoner.
Your dad's dead.
I saw him get killed.
You lying bastard! All right, I made it up.
I'll find the fucking Romans myself! You have been warned, Aulus Plautius! Make amends! Are you sure you're ready, Rome? Ready for what you'll find? I'm ready.
Then let's begin.
[BIRDS SING.]
[HORSE NICKERS.]
[COUGHING.]
He looks shiny.
Shiny, or slippy? Like a newborn baby.
Our baby.
That's it.
I'm off.
Just give it a minute.
He said if he's not back by sunrise.
It's sunrise.
It was an order.
If he comes back, finds we've gone, he's not going to be happy.
So give it a minute.
One minute.
You hear those wolves last night? Wolves, Decimus? Banshees screaming warnings to us to depart this devil-infested land.
And they're not wrong, mate.
Who are we waiting for again? What? [WHISPERING.]
I just forgot.
I just forgot.
The General, you nob.
What's wrong with you? Where did he go? The General? And where did he go? The General? Search me.
He never said.
Are you all right, mate? [WHISPERING.]
I'm just a bit sleepy.
I'm just a bit sleepy.
Aren't you? Now that you mention it Now that you mention it One two three.
[BLOWING.]
[BLOWING.]
Morrigan! Long time no see! What are you doing with these assholes? Tell me about it.
I wouldn't be seen dead with them either but these are dark times.
[.]
Thrown like a star in my vast sleep I opened my eyes to take a peek To find that I was by the sea Gazing with tranquillity 'Twas then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing songs of love Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Came singing Songs of love Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy Hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang Hurdy gurdy, hurdy gurdy Hurdy gurdy gurdy, he sang [CROWDS CHEERING.]
No turning back now.
[PELLENOR.]
Cantii! The Romans are back.
[CHEERING.]
Before the snows come, we'll drive the bastards back into the sea from where they came! [CHEERING.]
Hi.
Drop it, now! - Gentlemen - Are you deaf? Who are you? A passing stranger.
What are you doing? I was passing, as you do when you're you know but then I saw you had food, so at first, I was going to just eat the food while you slept, so and then sneak away, but then I changed my mind.
I had a better idea, and so I stuck around.
It is a much more dangerous option, but the benefits are potentially huge.
You see? [BLOW LANDS.]
[SNARLING.]
[CAIT YELLS.]
[WOLF WHIMPERS.]
Let's just cut his throat and be on our way.
He could be worth something.
He stinks like a dead camel.
He could know stuff.
It's true.
I could.
I could know stuff.
Shut the fuck up.
[KICK LANDING.]
[GROANING.]
Milo got five talents bringing in that spy in Gaul.
That's because he was a spy, not some Celt tramp smelling of shit.
Strictly speaking, I'm not a Celt.
Not a big deal.
I know we all look the same.
He'll slow us down.
Five talents is five talents.
Why don't you let the gods decide? You do have gods? Toss a coin, let them choose.
Here, I've got one here in my pocket.
This is Roman.
Yeah.
Actually, it's yours.
You took my coin? While you were sleeping.
Sorry.
Sorry.
- [KICK LANDS.]
- Fucking hell! Come on, get it over with.
Call.
Heads no, tails.
Tails what? Tails, we do him, or tails, he lives? Which is better? Mind if I choose, since it's my life? [BOTH.]
Shut the fuck up! All right.
Heads, he lives.
Tails, we do him.
Tails.
You don't have to call it.
You said I did.
Can we just do this? Best of three? Wha is that fair? You stay out of this.
Again.
Again! Give me that! This could take a while.
Heads.
Come on All right.
This is the one.
Who are you? [SNARLING.]
[SIZZLING.]
[CRYING OUT.]
[BARKING.]
[BARKING.]
[HORSE WHINNYING.]
[GASPING.]
Why did you go to the Romans? To save the lives of our people.
You betrayed your king to save a few slaves? If it was betrayal, why didn't you tell him? Admit it.
You did it just to defy him.
You blame him for what happened to your mother.
So I'm vengeful and reckless, yet still you didn't tell him.
You want to know why I didn't tell him? Because we both know he'd go straight to the Druids, and the Druids would have you flayed alive.
And we both know that I would have deserved it.
The Druids are infallible.
They speak for the gods.
Is that why you cut the balls off the husband they chose? Yet you did their bidding.
Amena is a snake.
Her ambition is endless.
I married her for my tribe.
For my people, I'll sacrifice everything as you clearly will for yours.
Thank you.
What for? Just saying that.
For saving my life.
For not telling.
You've not been here long, yet already, I owe you a whole litany of debts.
Keeping a close eye? Question is, on who? Here's some advice.
Keep an eye on your husband.
You really don't trust anyone who didn't suck on your mummy's tit.
Guilty.
I trust my own blood, occasionally my wife, but I never trust a Gaul.
Just to say, we haven't forgotten about you, but we've got rather a lot of big stuff to deal with at the moment.
Well, thanks for the update, but that's not why you came, is it? You came because I summoned you.
How exactly did you summon me? Don't pretend you don't know who I am.
[SIGHING.]
You are Ania, niece of our sworn enemy, Antedia.
You really don't, do you? Although to be fair, there's nothing in the prophecy to say you should.
The prophecy? Ania is my earthly name, but in truth, I am something else something far, far more powerful.
So who are you? I am Brenna.
The goddess of war? And dreams, and wells.
You knew, didn't you? Look, it's been a long day.
Brenna has four aspects.
Water, fire, wind, earth.
I am her earthly form.
There I was, thinking that I'd captured a Regni princess, whereas actually, I've captured an immortal goddess.
Don't blame yourself.
It was foretold.
What, in the prophecy? Exactly.
I need you to lie with me.
[STIFLING A LAUGH.]
The prophecy tells that Brenna will be rescued by a golden-haired mortal, and together, they will spawn a pantheon to rule the heavens for a thousand years.
I see.
It's your destiny.
You will be honoured by the gods.
My mother, Danu, will shine fortune upon you and upon your tribe forever.
Well, I suppose I could spare five minutes.
Help! Help! Help me! We'd struck camp and were heading north through the forest, when we were ambushed.
Out of nowhere, they surrounded us.
How many? Two dozen, maybe more.
How many down? Three that I saw, but I don't think anyone survived.
Except you.
How long ago was this? Just after sunrise.
Maybe later.
Nine miles away.
Give or take.
Don't say anything to the men, not until the General returns.
There was a skirmish.
You got separated.
You came back here.
Understood? Understood, sir.
Take this man.
Get him cleaned up.
Give him wine for the pain.
Thank you, Praefectus.
Thank you, sir.
Where the hell are you, Aulus? Fuck it! You all right, man? I can't sleep.
Soon as I close my eyes, I see Islene and Cait all alone.
You know how I sleep at night? I dream I'm pissing in that bastard's skull.
[THEY CHUCKLE.]
I may try that.
You! Come here.
You were talking to your lover there.
What did you say? Nothing, sir.
Do I look stupid? Tell me what you said.
I didn't say anything.
[GRUNTING.]
Upsy-daisy, lover boy.
Please, sir Up you get! Have mercy.
"Please, sir, have mercy.
" Hey! [SCREAMING.]
[YELLING.]
Sir.
This slave attacked Tiberius.
Bring him inside.
I've been thinking, and I'm interested to know why you guys came back here.
I mean, your ancestors' bones lie here, unburied, unanointed their spirits doomed to wander forever.
Seriously, who wants a second helping of that? My ancestors are in Sicily, safely cremated, in the family vault.
Yeah, but it didn't exactly go well last time.
I mean, last time, Nature herself took revenge.
A great storm destroyed your ships, drowned your soldiers.
So we got unlucky with the weather.
It won't happen twice.
Suit yourself, Decimus.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa How'd you know my name? Well, you're Decimus Sentus from Sicily.
Your family are goat farmers, but you, you hate the little bastards, so you joined the army.
Who told you that? Well, he did, while you were having a shit back there.
No, I never! Come, come now, Philo of Rome who is not sure who his real parents are, and grew up penniless in a house full of whores.
You know Decimus here thinks your mum was one of them [LAUGHING.]
But he has no proof, so it's just theory.
What the fuck? My mother wasn't a whore.
No but it stands to reason.
Fuck you.
Fuck me? Fuck you, and your whore mother.
Boys, boys, don't do this.
You're friends.
- Say it again.
- Shut your Don't say it again.
You have no proof that Philo's mum was a whore, no proof whatsoever.
Listen.
Listen very carefully.
I'm going to show you something.
[WHISPERING.]
You see this pebble? This is a very special pebble.
It is called the Big Big Pebble.
It's nice, isn't it? It's lovely.
It's lovely and smooth.
Yeah.
Now, keep looking at it.
Now, what does it make you feel? - Calm.
- Happy.
- Excellent.
- Big Pebble.
Big Pebble.
Excellent.
Good.
Now, here's what we are going to do.
First, you're going to untie me and then we are all going to travel together, like friends, and you're going to show me your camp.
So what do you say? Do we have a deal? Why did you attack my centurion? Because I felt like it.
You just felt like it.
Our dead will see you, and you know it.
You know what I see when I look in your eyes? Fear.
Now, tell me, what do you see when you look in mine? Well, now let's have a look.
You've just given me an idea.
To hell with the invaders! Death to the invaders! Cait Now let's have a closer look at those eyes.
Ah! Behold the rebel! [SOBS.]
[SCREAMING.]
[HE SCREAMS IN PAIN.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SIZZLING.]
[HE SCREAMS.]
They'll ransom us.
A Roman must be worth more alive than dead.
In Gaul, we offered a thousand talents for one soldier.
They sent back his heart on a wooden plate.
So why are we still alive? Because they want information, and they'll do everything in their power to get it, and we must do everything to prevent that.
I can do it.
You can have no doubts.
Not one.
I'm not afraid.
In any battle on any field.
For every man, no matter how strong, there comes a river he cannot cross.
Cut my tongue out.
I don't have a knife.
[SPITS.]
If you ever make it back to Rome, will you tell my wife and children? It will be the first thing I do.
We were going to kill Vespasian.
We drew lots.
That's not important now.
I've disgraced my legion.
But your courage now absolves you.
You die with honour.
Thank you, brother.
[SNAP.]
My friend didn't feel like talking today.
But you do? No.
Well we'll see.
[HORN BLOWS.]
Are you hurt? Where are your bodyguards? Have they not returned? No.
Where's Vespasian? Dead.
The recce party was ambushed in country.
Wiped out all except one.
Who escaped? Some grunt, spinning a story I'm not buying.
Ambush or mutiny, everyone else is dead or captured.
What's this? Ah, some bullshit.
Where the fuck have you been? I turn my back for five minutes What's going on? I went to see the Druids.
[PELLENOR.]
How many ships? How many ships? [SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SCREAMING.]
[SOBBING IN AGONY.]
[PANTING SHAKILY.]
How many ships? [SOBBING.]
So you have nothing to say? [SOBBING.]
How's your daughter? What? The pretty one with the red hair.
[LAUGHING SHAKILY.]
She came to see us.
Tell her the General sends his best.
[LAUGHING SHAKILY.]
Father Did you know this? No, Father.
[PELLENOR.]
Tell me the Roman lies.
He casts a spell to throw us off-course.
He speaks the truth.
[PELLENOR.]
Since you were a child, you've despised me, but my love drowned out your hate, your endless defiance, and now I see that it wasn't love.
It was weakness.
I've sent messengers to Veran the Druid.
The Druids now will decide your fate.
Your life, your soul, is in their hands.
Then you throw me to the winds.
You did it to yourself, to follow your mother, a path you planned long ago.
You're wrong, Father.
I don't hate you.
You are a good man, but your faith has blinded you.
It is not you who I despise.
It is the Druids.
You say that to wound me a thousand times deeper.
I say it because it is the truth.
So let them come here.
Let them condemn me, and as they tear my flesh, I will do as she did.
I will look you in the eye to let you know that there is no blame for you, no hatred, and no fear for their blind, mindless chaos that you call justice.
Guards! Know this.
Whatever the Druids decide, you are dead to me.
Know this.
Whatever the Druids decide, I love you just as she did.
[CELL DOOR OPENS.]
Well, this is a surprise.
Your next word will be your last.
No, I mean it, mate.
You're the best friend ever.
Rubbish, mate.
You are.
Listen, mate, you were right.
My mother was a whore.
Well, she was she was still your mother, and that's what counts.
Thanks, Decimus.
That means a lot.
Looks like your general is returned.
Here.
[EXHALES.]
[INHALES, THEN GROANS.]
Thanks, friend.
That's lovely.
Now we are going to focus on the circle, because this is important.
Now, keep looking.
Here's the plan.
Are we listening? All ears.
Good.
We wait 'til night falls.
Then we're going to tie me up again, and you're going to take me into the camp, into the General's tent.
Easy.
Right.
Now, I'm a spy.
I have important information What do you want? - Who's this? - Who are you? I need your help.
Go away.
Can't you see I'm busy? - She's scaring me.
- Go away! It's fine.
It's fine.
She's nothing.
Sit down.
It's fine.
Focus.
Focus on the circle.
What do you see? Oh, oh, oh! What happened? Shit Stay here.
Ow! You give that back right now.
Don't come near me.
You have no idea what you're messing with.
I need your help.
- Give it back.
- Stay away! Give it back.
The force of that stone is too dark for you to comprehend.
Now Now.
[SWALLOWING.]
What have you done? [UNSHEATHING KNIFE.]
Oh, so you're going to cut me open to get your stone a small girl.
Do you have any idea the power I'm up against? Lokka doesn't play games.
If you're going to do it, do it! My father's in the camp.
I've seen him.
They've hurt him, badly.
No, no, no I'll give you back your stone, but I have to get him out before they kill him.
Please help me.
I should have cut your throat first time I saw you.
Please So, guys, there's been a slight change of plans.
- Why? - For what? I'm going to tell you a story.
It's a story about an old friend of mine, a friend from below, from the hottest, molten depths of Hell.
His name His name is Pwykka.
Do you remember that soldier, the one that brought me the message? The one you buried alive? My errand boy.
I sent him off with a message.
Turns out, he was a good errand boy, because when I got to the place, they were waiting for me, our friends.
We talked.
I made them an offer in exchange for, um something.
What did you offer them? Well, the one thing nature cares about certitude.
And what did they offer you? Well, the one thing I care about victory.
At what cost? Well, the going rate which, in this war, is any cost whatsoever.
You've made a mistake.
A calculated risk.
The men are spooked enough as it is.
They think we're at war with ghosts.
We've got mutiny and rebellion up the arse.
We are on the brink, and you're out there playing ghouls and fucking goblins.
We go back a long way, you and I.
You're my closest friend.
Don't ever question my authority again, or you'll regret it.
Do you understand? Yes sir.
You know Caesar's mistake? He thought it was all about forts and ramparts numbers Tactics.
You don't defeat these people by fighting their warriors.
You defeat them by fighting their gods.
It's their gods you've got to kill.
[HORN BLOWS.]
[SOLDIER.]
Someone approaching! Sounds like we have visitors.
[SOLDIER.]
Stations! Sound the alarm! The fuck Back off! [PHILO.]
We are all ghosts.
All of us everyone.
We are the dead.
We are the dead! We are the dead! [SOLDIER.]
Sorcery! We don't belong here! [SOLDIERS YELL.]
[SOLDIER.]
He's cursed us all.
[SOLDIER.]
We need to go home! [YELLING.]
It worked.
This is our chance.
Go.
Hurry! Go, go, go! Where am I? [GASPS.]
Fuck! You're on your own.
What? You said, "get me inside.
" There's something I need to do.
[YELLING.]
Father.
Father, it's me.
Cait? Cait! I'm here.
I'm here.
[BLADE SLICES ROPE.]
I need you to stay here.
Where are you going? Be careful! [MAN.]
No! No time! Go! Go with your father.
Hurry! Go! Go now! [CAIT.]
Come here.
[SOLDIERS YELL AND ARGUE.]
[SOLDIER.]
He brought this on us! He cursed us all! [YELLING.]
Any man who doesn't want to see his home again, step forward and run me through or all at once.
Come.
You afraid? Our gods protect us, and I protect you your general, Aulus Plautius, a Roman, as you are Romans.
Not men.
Not scared children.
Romans.
You go back to your tents.
Now.
Do as I command.
You're alive, Father.
[SHE CRIES QUIETLY.]
Where is Islene? Is she safe? Is Islene safe? She's safe, Father.
Thanks to the gods.
Islene sent you, didn't she? She sent me.
We're safe.
They've sent for us.
[AULUS.]
Mighty Lokka.
We are rising.
We are rising.
The voices were clear.
Are you ready to follow the will of the gods? But if loving my mother angers the gods, they are no gods of mine.
[VERAN.]
You just made a very big decision.
Now the gods will make theirs.
[.]
Histories of ages past Unenlightened shadows cast Down through all eternity The crying of humanity 'Tis then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Comes singing songs of love Then when the Hurdy Gurdy Man Comes singing songs