Bunnicula (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
Spiderlamb
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(HISSING)
(CACKLING)
(HORSE SNORTING)
-Welcome home, you silly dog.
-(HAROLD PANTING)
Harold!
-(DOOR CLOSING)
-Good to have you back, man.
I see the surgery
was a success.
Yeah. The vet said
I shouldn't eat any more
soccer balls.
You might wanna be careful.
I just saw a tasty one
rolling around upstairs.
Oh, really?
No. Not really.
-Can I eat it?
-Uh, no.
(YAWNS)
Well, I'mma head up
to bed, dude.
The vet said I should rest up.
All right. Relax, man.
Glad you're home.
-Hey, Chester?
-Yeah, buddy?
Will you read me
a bedtime story?
Anything for you, buddy.
(CLANKS)
-Hey, Chester.
-Yeah?
I'm stuck.
(THUDS)
(STRAINING)
Ugh. (EXHALES)
You wanna see my scar?
Oh! Nope, nope.
I'm I'm good.
It's pretty awesome.
Let's just see
what Mina's reading.
Uh, "Algebra 2."
Well, that's gonna go
right over your head.
"Where the Red Fern Grows."
Not gonna put you through that
in your condition.
(BUNNICULA CACKLING)
-Oh, hey, Bunnicula.
-(EXCLAIMS)
Got your own book, huh?
(READING COVER)
Strangely enough,
that seems just about perfect.
Nice work, Buns.
Wanna see my scar, Bunnicula?
CHESTER: Nope.
Nobody needs to see that.
Ah. Just rest your peepers.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(READING)
"Harold has a spiderlamb."
Hey, pretty cool.
There's a character in here
with the same name as you.
-(CLAPPING)
-Oh, yeah.
That's wicked awesome.
(READING)
"Harold had a spiderlamb."
Spiderlamb?
(READING)
"And everywhere
that Harold went,
"his nights were
filled with dread."
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(GASPS) What the
-Get to the part with Gandalf.
-Ooh!
All right,
what is a spiderlamb,
and where did it go?
Keep reading?
Maybe I should
switch to a book that's,
you know, not glowing.
What kind of book
is this, anyways?
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-Hey, give it back.
Aw, what have you done?
(ENERGY CRACKLING)
Oh, sweet. It's a pop-up book.
(SNORING)
-(SPIDERLAMB BLEATS)
-That is not normal.
-(BLEATING)
-(OBJECTS BREAKING)
(CHESTER SCREAMS)
-CHESTER:
Call an exterminator!
-(WEBS SLINGING)
-I can't believe
this is happening!
-(OBJECTS SMASHING)
I'm gonna get out of here,
like, right now!
(CHESTER YOWLS)
(YELLS) Oh, my gosh!
-Okay. I got it.
-(CRASHING)
Nobody move.
Everybody! I'm moving!
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
-Get out of here!
Help! (GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
-(OBJECTS SMASHING)
-(MOCKINGLY) "Oh, hello!
My name is Bunnicula.
"Here, take my evil storybook
"and read it
to your sick friend."
"Aw, thanks, Bunnicula,
I'll do that right now,
"because nothing you ever say
goes wrong and tries
to eat everyone!"
(BLEATING AND SMASHING
CONTINUES)
What, do they not have sarcasm
in vampire rabbit land?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Yes, I get it.
You want me
to keep reading the book
that the eight-legged
monster sheep came out of.
The exact same
monster sheep that is
currently trying to eat
Wait. Hold on.
(HAROLD SNORING)
Yes, the same monster
that's currently trying
to eat Harold.
The vet said
Harold needs rest.
Getting eaten is not restful!
What we need
is a brilliant rescue plan.
-And we need it now.
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I said "brilliant."
Which means, not you!
(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)
-(BLEATING)
-(HAROLD SNORING)
-(TOY SNAPPING)
-Hold it off!
Harold, are you okay?
Are you resting?
(SNORING)
Mommy, can you
turn down the TV?
He's okay.
I'll carry him to safety,
you take care
of the spiderlamb.
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
(GROWLING)
Hey! Uh-huh.
No vampire powers.
Magic is what got us
into this mess.
Just keep spanking it
with that spatula.
(GROANS)
(BLEATS)
What are you doing?
You're making it mad.
(BLEATING ANGRILY)
It's slinging webs!
No wait! It's slinging
little, woolly sweaters.
Well, that actually
looks really cozy.
Maybe it's not
an evil spiderlamb after all.
-Okay, do me!
-(SQUIRTING)
Oh, it feels like cashmere,
only softer and more suave.
Ugh, suave,
but significantly sticky.
(BLEATING)
Ahhh! Super sticky
stocking caps!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUMBLING)
(BLEATING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Oh!
-(THUDDING)
-(CHESTER GROANING)
(SPIDERLAMB LUMBERING
AND BLEATING)
(DULL BLEATING)
So, plan B.
-I can't believe Michelle
turned out to be a werewolf.
-(DISTANT BLEATING)
She was our ride home.
-We have got to find
another way out.
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
Let's split up.
-Marsha, watch!
He's gonna get eaten.
-(DISTANT SMASHING)
Why are there so many
sheep noises in this movie?
I know. It's unnerving right?
I I think
it's a metaphor.
Like the people are sheep
and the wolves are
Wolves or something?
"Get him" is a perfectly
valid plan, just so you know.
But this one's
gonna be even better.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I understand that you want me
to read the evil book
because you're evil.
But instead, I'm gonna
feed you this squash.
Hmm, hmm,
na, na, na, na, na
This is not a trick.
Think back to the last time
you ate a squash.
(SLURPING)
(GRUNTS)
-(EXCLAIMS)
-Yup,
you kicked me through a wall.
So, I'm not giving you this
because it's a good idea
or because I like you.
This is a tool to save Harold!
You're gonna
drink this squash,
then you're gonna take
that giant, disgusting foot
and you're gonna use it
to squash that spiderlamb.
I like to call
this little plan,
"Squash for squash sake." Huh?
(EXCLAIMS)
(SNORING)
(SMASHING)
Oh, my gosh!
(SNORING CONTINUES)
CHESTER: That is a cool scar!
I mean, it's shaped
like a lightning bolt.
It doesn't get
any better than that.
Wow, maybe I oughta
-eat a soccer ball.
-(SQUIRTING)
Ow! Bunnicula, focus! Squash!
-(SMASHING)
-CHESTER: Ooh, oh!
(SQUIRTING)
CHESTER: Oh!
(EXCLAIMS)
(SPIDERLAMB TAUNTING)
(BUNNICULA STRAINING)
Well, I suppose
we should've seen that coming.
-(HOWLING)
-(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)
The surround sound
is amazing, right?
-It's kind of freaking me out.
-(DISTANT CRASHING)
I know, right?
All right. Harold needs rest,
and that's what
we promised him.
So, we just march
back in there,
and we take control
CHESTER: Oh. Oh, my gosh!
Is it doing
what I think it's doing?
(BLEATING)
Okay, the spiderlamb
is laying eggs
(GAGGING) All over Harold.
It's gonna be okay.
Maybe this isn't the time
for a rescue plan.
Yeah, nope.
It's time for panic.
We need fire! Lots of fire!
Or acid!
Okay, we have to change our
names and move to Zanzibar.
(GROANING)
You're right, you're right.
We have to save Harold.
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
(MIMICS SPIDERLAMB)
(EXCLAIMS)
So, you think
if I keep reading the book,
it'll make the monster vanish.
Well, that's the worst plan
I've ever heard.
Okay, I'll grab the book.
You distract the thing!
(HAROLD SNORING)
Ugh.
-(BLEATING)
-(WHISTLES)
(BLEATING)
(BLEATING)
I said distract it,
not get its phone number,
but whatever.
Aha! The book!
And it's totally stuck
to these disgusting
monster eggs.
That's hilarious.
Ew, ew, ew, ew
Okay. (MUTTERING)
(READING)
"Harold had a spiderlamb"
Blah, blah, blah "Dread"
(PARLOR MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLAPPING)
(BOOING)
-Huh?
-(CHESTER READING)
"The spiderlamb" So cruel.
"And so, the kitty
read the book,
"and, uh, between
his sobbing cries,
"he watched in utter terror
as the monster grew in size."
Oh, you've gotta be
kidding me!
(BLEATING)
(WHISTLES)
(CONTINUES BLEATING)
(SQUIRTING)
"And then he turned
the final page and
the spiderlamb was mad.
"And then the creature
was banished back
to the foul, dark realm
"of King Bagaboo the wicked,
"never to return
to this world again!"
(CHESTER SCREAMS)
(BLEATING CONTINUES)
(BLEATING IN PANIC)
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
Well, that wasn't very scary.
But on the plus side,
it was super loud.
I'm saying two stars.
What'd you think, Marsha?
(WEAKLY) Is it over?
Well, Bunnicula,
I have to admit,
magic did a great job
of cleaning up this mess.
But I still hate magic.
Here, put it someplace safe.
(SNORING) Ooh!
Mmm.
Hey, hairball,
how you feeling?
That was the best nap
of my whole life, I think.
Well, yeah, I'm not surprised.
B and I have been keeping
things, uh, mellow for you.
I mean, uh, kind of surprised.
Aw, you guys are the best.
(YAWNS) I think I'm gonna
go back to sleepy town
for a minute,
if you don't mind?
Can we get you
anything to help?
More, uh, milk or
No, no. I'll just count
those funny little sheep,
like I did before.
(LAUGHING) Yeah, right.
All right, Harold.
You just count
those funny little
-(CRACKING)
-(GASPS)
(BABY SPIDERLAMBS BLEATING)
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
-101, 102,
(YAWNING) 103
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(HISSING)
(CACKLING)
(HORSE SNORTING)
-Welcome home, you silly dog.
-(HAROLD PANTING)
Harold!
-(DOOR CLOSING)
-Good to have you back, man.
I see the surgery
was a success.
Yeah. The vet said
I shouldn't eat any more
soccer balls.
You might wanna be careful.
I just saw a tasty one
rolling around upstairs.
Oh, really?
No. Not really.
-Can I eat it?
-Uh, no.
(YAWNS)
Well, I'mma head up
to bed, dude.
The vet said I should rest up.
All right. Relax, man.
Glad you're home.
-Hey, Chester?
-Yeah, buddy?
Will you read me
a bedtime story?
Anything for you, buddy.
(CLANKS)
-Hey, Chester.
-Yeah?
I'm stuck.
(THUDS)
(STRAINING)
Ugh. (EXHALES)
You wanna see my scar?
Oh! Nope, nope.
I'm I'm good.
It's pretty awesome.
Let's just see
what Mina's reading.
Uh, "Algebra 2."
Well, that's gonna go
right over your head.
"Where the Red Fern Grows."
Not gonna put you through that
in your condition.
(BUNNICULA CACKLING)
-Oh, hey, Bunnicula.
-(EXCLAIMS)
Got your own book, huh?
(READING COVER)
Strangely enough,
that seems just about perfect.
Nice work, Buns.
Wanna see my scar, Bunnicula?
CHESTER: Nope.
Nobody needs to see that.
Ah. Just rest your peepers.
(CLEARS THROAT)
(READING)
"Harold has a spiderlamb."
Hey, pretty cool.
There's a character in here
with the same name as you.
-(CLAPPING)
-Oh, yeah.
That's wicked awesome.
(READING)
"Harold had a spiderlamb."
Spiderlamb?
(READING)
"And everywhere
that Harold went,
"his nights were
filled with dread."
(THUNDER CRASHING)
(GASPS) What the
-Get to the part with Gandalf.
-Ooh!
All right,
what is a spiderlamb,
and where did it go?
Keep reading?
Maybe I should
switch to a book that's,
you know, not glowing.
What kind of book
is this, anyways?
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
-Hey, give it back.
Aw, what have you done?
(ENERGY CRACKLING)
Oh, sweet. It's a pop-up book.
(SNORING)
-(SPIDERLAMB BLEATS)
-That is not normal.
-(BLEATING)
-(OBJECTS BREAKING)
(CHESTER SCREAMS)
-CHESTER:
Call an exterminator!
-(WEBS SLINGING)
-I can't believe
this is happening!
-(OBJECTS SMASHING)
I'm gonna get out of here,
like, right now!
(CHESTER YOWLS)
(YELLS) Oh, my gosh!
-Okay. I got it.
-(CRASHING)
Nobody move.
Everybody! I'm moving!
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
-Get out of here!
Help! (GRUNTS)
(PANTING)
-(OBJECTS SMASHING)
-(MOCKINGLY) "Oh, hello!
My name is Bunnicula.
"Here, take my evil storybook
"and read it
to your sick friend."
"Aw, thanks, Bunnicula,
I'll do that right now,
"because nothing you ever say
goes wrong and tries
to eat everyone!"
(BLEATING AND SMASHING
CONTINUES)
What, do they not have sarcasm
in vampire rabbit land?
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
Yes, I get it.
You want me
to keep reading the book
that the eight-legged
monster sheep came out of.
The exact same
monster sheep that is
currently trying to eat
Wait. Hold on.
(HAROLD SNORING)
Yes, the same monster
that's currently trying
to eat Harold.
The vet said
Harold needs rest.
Getting eaten is not restful!
What we need
is a brilliant rescue plan.
-And we need it now.
-(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I said "brilliant."
Which means, not you!
(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)
-(BLEATING)
-(HAROLD SNORING)
-(TOY SNAPPING)
-Hold it off!
Harold, are you okay?
Are you resting?
(SNORING)
Mommy, can you
turn down the TV?
He's okay.
I'll carry him to safety,
you take care
of the spiderlamb.
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
(GROWLING)
Hey! Uh-huh.
No vampire powers.
Magic is what got us
into this mess.
Just keep spanking it
with that spatula.
(GROANS)
(BLEATS)
What are you doing?
You're making it mad.
(BLEATING ANGRILY)
It's slinging webs!
No wait! It's slinging
little, woolly sweaters.
Well, that actually
looks really cozy.
Maybe it's not
an evil spiderlamb after all.
-Okay, do me!
-(SQUIRTING)
Oh, it feels like cashmere,
only softer and more suave.
Ugh, suave,
but significantly sticky.
(BLEATING)
Ahhh! Super sticky
stocking caps!
(SCREAMS)
(GRUMBLING)
(BLEATING CONTINUES)
(SCREAMING)
(GROANING)
Oh!
-(THUDDING)
-(CHESTER GROANING)
(SPIDERLAMB LUMBERING
AND BLEATING)
(DULL BLEATING)
So, plan B.
-I can't believe Michelle
turned out to be a werewolf.
-(DISTANT BLEATING)
She was our ride home.
-We have got to find
another way out.
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
Let's split up.
-Marsha, watch!
He's gonna get eaten.
-(DISTANT SMASHING)
Why are there so many
sheep noises in this movie?
I know. It's unnerving right?
I I think
it's a metaphor.
Like the people are sheep
and the wolves are
Wolves or something?
"Get him" is a perfectly
valid plan, just so you know.
But this one's
gonna be even better.
(SPEAKING GIBBERISH)
I understand that you want me
to read the evil book
because you're evil.
But instead, I'm gonna
feed you this squash.
Hmm, hmm,
na, na, na, na, na
This is not a trick.
Think back to the last time
you ate a squash.
(SLURPING)
(GRUNTS)
-(EXCLAIMS)
-Yup,
you kicked me through a wall.
So, I'm not giving you this
because it's a good idea
or because I like you.
This is a tool to save Harold!
You're gonna
drink this squash,
then you're gonna take
that giant, disgusting foot
and you're gonna use it
to squash that spiderlamb.
I like to call
this little plan,
"Squash for squash sake." Huh?
(EXCLAIMS)
(SNORING)
(SMASHING)
Oh, my gosh!
(SNORING CONTINUES)
CHESTER: That is a cool scar!
I mean, it's shaped
like a lightning bolt.
It doesn't get
any better than that.
Wow, maybe I oughta
-eat a soccer ball.
-(SQUIRTING)
Ow! Bunnicula, focus! Squash!
-(SMASHING)
-CHESTER: Ooh, oh!
(SQUIRTING)
CHESTER: Oh!
(EXCLAIMS)
(SPIDERLAMB TAUNTING)
(BUNNICULA STRAINING)
Well, I suppose
we should've seen that coming.
-(HOWLING)
-(SPIDERLAMB BLEATING)
The surround sound
is amazing, right?
-It's kind of freaking me out.
-(DISTANT CRASHING)
I know, right?
All right. Harold needs rest,
and that's what
we promised him.
So, we just march
back in there,
and we take control
CHESTER: Oh. Oh, my gosh!
Is it doing
what I think it's doing?
(BLEATING)
Okay, the spiderlamb
is laying eggs
(GAGGING) All over Harold.
It's gonna be okay.
Maybe this isn't the time
for a rescue plan.
Yeah, nope.
It's time for panic.
We need fire! Lots of fire!
Or acid!
Okay, we have to change our
names and move to Zanzibar.
(GROANING)
You're right, you're right.
We have to save Harold.
(SPEAKS GIBBERISH)
(MIMICS SPIDERLAMB)
(EXCLAIMS)
So, you think
if I keep reading the book,
it'll make the monster vanish.
Well, that's the worst plan
I've ever heard.
Okay, I'll grab the book.
You distract the thing!
(HAROLD SNORING)
Ugh.
-(BLEATING)
-(WHISTLES)
(BLEATING)
(BLEATING)
I said distract it,
not get its phone number,
but whatever.
Aha! The book!
And it's totally stuck
to these disgusting
monster eggs.
That's hilarious.
Ew, ew, ew, ew
Okay. (MUTTERING)
(READING)
"Harold had a spiderlamb"
Blah, blah, blah "Dread"
(PARLOR MUSIC PLAYING)
(CLAPPING)
(BOOING)
-Huh?
-(CHESTER READING)
"The spiderlamb" So cruel.
"And so, the kitty
read the book,
"and, uh, between
his sobbing cries,
"he watched in utter terror
as the monster grew in size."
Oh, you've gotta be
kidding me!
(BLEATING)
(WHISTLES)
(CONTINUES BLEATING)
(SQUIRTING)
"And then he turned
the final page and
the spiderlamb was mad.
"And then the creature
was banished back
to the foul, dark realm
"of King Bagaboo the wicked,
"never to return
to this world again!"
(CHESTER SCREAMS)
(BLEATING CONTINUES)
(BLEATING IN PANIC)
(MUSIC PLAYING ON TV)
Well, that wasn't very scary.
But on the plus side,
it was super loud.
I'm saying two stars.
What'd you think, Marsha?
(WEAKLY) Is it over?
Well, Bunnicula,
I have to admit,
magic did a great job
of cleaning up this mess.
But I still hate magic.
Here, put it someplace safe.
(SNORING) Ooh!
Mmm.
Hey, hairball,
how you feeling?
That was the best nap
of my whole life, I think.
Well, yeah, I'm not surprised.
B and I have been keeping
things, uh, mellow for you.
I mean, uh, kind of surprised.
Aw, you guys are the best.
(YAWNS) I think I'm gonna
go back to sleepy town
for a minute,
if you don't mind?
Can we get you
anything to help?
More, uh, milk or
No, no. I'll just count
those funny little sheep,
like I did before.
(LAUGHING) Yeah, right.
All right, Harold.
You just count
those funny little
-(CRACKING)
-(GASPS)
(BABY SPIDERLAMBS BLEATING)
-(BLEATING CONTINUES)
-101, 102,
(YAWNING) 103
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)