Carmen Sandiego (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

The Sticky Rice Caper

1 [theme music playing.]
Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? Sandiego Where in the world Is Carmen Sandiego? [Player.]
Heads up, Red.
I took the liberté of notifying your ground crew of the change in plans.
[Carmen.]
Copy that, Player.
Heading for rendezvous as soon as we lose the looky-loos.
[beeps.]
I thought you ditched Interpol back on the train.
[Carmen.]
I did.
These stiffs are too slick for Interpol, but not sleazy enough for VILE.
Hey, Zack, can you shake the tail? [laughs.]
I can shake it all night long.
Not your booty.
The tail.
We were never here.
Zack, they're coming in hot.
Follow at a safe distance, people! And no texting while boating.
Player, about that rendezvous.
Three steps ahead of you, Red.
[boat horn blares.]
[Player.]
Three Two Hang on to your hoodie.
[Player.]
One.
[Zack.]
Whoo! [agent.]
You, out of the way! Uh, parlez-vous français? Move it, now! Ah! You're saying you don't like where I parked the barge.
[Carmen.]
Ivy, your chariot awaits.
Talk about a close shave.
[screams.]
[groans.]
Sayonara, mon amigos! All right, sis, bring on the grub.
Whoa, were you not informed that Operation Picnique a la Parisian was canceled? What? Ivy! You had one little job to do while I picked up Carmen at the train station.
One! Rustle up big blocks of tangy cheese and those long, fresh-baked hoagie rolls.
Yum, baguettes.
Not helping, Carm.
I had my orders, little bro.
Boot the buns and cut the cheese to save your bacon.
[groans.]
Bacon? Definitely not helping.
[Player.]
So, how long before you toss them off the plane? Eh, in-flight entertainment.
- [Carmen.]
So, we're off to Indonesia.
- Yup.
The Southeast Asian country situated between the Pacific and Indian Oceans.
And get this.
It's made up of 17,000-plus islands.
Who knew there were that many on the planet? [Carmen.]
Did you know all those islands contain the fourth largest population in the world after China, India, and the United States? [Player.]
That's a lot of mouths to feed.
[Carmen.]
No doubt the reason Indonesia produces 70 million tons of rice a year.
It's their staple food, Player.
[Player.]
It says here some islands are home to the Komodo dragon, the world's largest lizard.
They can grow up to ten feet long! [Carmen.]
I'll skip the petting zoo.
But I've always wanted to see Wayang shadow puppetry.
It's over a thousand years old, but still performed at festivals there today.
[Player.]
The VILE hideout you're looking for is located on Java, home to Indonesia's capital city, Jakarta.
[Carmen.]
I hear it's called "the Big Durian," named after their native fruit.
You know, like New York City's called "the Big Apple.
" [Player.]
Well, the spiky fruit may taste sweet and delicious, but it smells like unwashed gym socks stuffed with rotten onions.
[Carmen.]
Well, that stinks.
[laughs.]
I know, right? Smelly fruit! No.
Facial recognition scan drew blanks.
[Player.]
Well, if your new fans aren't VILE and they're not Interpol, then who are they? [Argent.]
Apologies for the delay, Inspector Devineaux.
- I came to Paris as soon as I could.
- Perfect timing, Ms.
Argent.
Her victim regained consciousness only moments ago and awaits us for questioning.
Does it strike you as odd that Carmen Sandiego would harm an innocent bystander? He is a witness, he saw her face.
What more motive would she need? Do you find it curious that he had no identification, not even a train ticket? The Scarlet Outlaw clearly stole the poor man's wallet.
That would certainly be a valid assumption.
Of course it would.
Thank you.
But petty theft seems below the station of an acknowledged superthief.
Perhaps you should stop interrogating me and save the questioning for our witness? Where did he disappear to? According to the ledger, the subject was released.
What? By whose authority? [sighs.]
Chauffeured limo service.
Sure beats trawling through sewer tunnels for a jailbreak, eh, mates? So, what's my next assignment? Secure the finest éclairs in Paris for Coach Brun? Extraction complete.
Thank you, cleaners, for mopping up this little spill.
We have Crackle in our custody, Dr.
Bellum.
Shall we initiate standard debriefing protocol? Doctor, please, you spread yourself far too thin.
Pick a screen! Professor Maelstrom, I happen to be laser-focused on a matter of grave urgency right now.
Hmm.
That's not it.
Nope.
Not that either.
Cute.
Oh, dear, where was that? Ah, here.
[electronic chirp.]
[Bellum.]
Our intelligence indicates that the student formerly known as "Black Sheep" has departed from Paris and is currently en route to Java, where I maintain certain assets.
Troubling news, considering the damage she inflicted upon our French hideaway last night.
The Red Rogue does seem on a tear lately.
Fortunately, one of our finest operatives is currently stationed in the region.
[car engine roaring.]
[Zack.]
I haven't seen a single drive-through! - I'm gonna faint from hunger here! - [Ivy scoffs.]
Just think of something other than takeout, like stakeout.
- Reminds me too much of meat.
- As in, casing a joint? You know, like the night we first met Carmen.
Right! She was casing the same joint.
Who'd ever guess a South Boston donut shop would be a front for a supersecret crime empire? [gags.]
Donuts baked by VILE sure taste vile.
- Blech! - Ha! There.
You can thank me now for ruining your appetite.
Right there.
Player's intel was spot-on.
It's a Dr.
Saira Bellum R&D lab.
Something tells me "R" don't stand for "rubies.
" And "D" don't stand for "dollars.
" Or "donuts.
" [Zack laughs.]
Whoa, Carm.
You're wearing a coat? In this heat? It's, like, 110 degrees.
A lady needs her tools.
Plan A: bring out Red Drone.
Red Drone has a visual.
[Ivy.]
And in she goes.
Wait hold on.
Red Drone's a she? Red Drone's awesome.
Of course she's a she.
[laser zapping.]
[Zack.]
State of the art! Hey, how can anyone walk around in there with laser beams pointing all over the place? Nobody's home.
[beeping.]
Your turn, Player.
- [Player.]
Security cams disabled.
- [beeping.]
[Player.]
Back door open.
[Carmen.]
No guards, no lab techs.
Still warm.
They just left.
[beeps.]
Player, up for a fishing expedition? Casting off.
Who doesn't finish lunch? Well, more rice bowls for me.
- [munches.]
- Zack, these aren't rice bowls.
They're petri dishes filled with rice, covered in some sort of [sniffs.]
fungus.
- Dude, like mushrooms? - [Player.]
Like spores.
Superspores, to be exact.
Genetically engineered to feed on rice.
I pulled the data from a folder labeled "Operation Sticky Rice.
" - What do you mean "feed on rice"? - Just how it sounds, Red.
These superspores take to grain like termites to wood.
According to Bellum's research, these organisms can wipe out entire crops in a matter of hours.
A bioweapon.
And if VILE cleared out because they knew we were coming, they no doubt took their entire stockpile of spores with them.
Player, can you pinpoint any likely targets? You're surrounded by likely targets.
Indonesia produces 70 million tons of rice per year, remember? [Ivy.]
So, VILE wipes out some rice fields.
Order pizza, problem solved, right? Rice is Indonesia's staple food.
If crops are destroyed, its entire population could go hungry.
Way hungrier than I'm feeling now.
So, what can we do about it? We're not the grain police, we're thieves.
We can see to it Bellum never gets a chance to use her superspores by stealing them.
I like it.
But how are we supposed to find teeny, tiny spores in a great, big rainforest? [Zack.]
Hey, check it out! Truck tracks.
And we know they just left.
One thing still doesn't click.
What's in it for VILE? Why would they go through all the trouble of engineering some crazy food shortage crisis? To force a hungry population to buy VILE brand instant imitation rice, at inflated prices, no doubt.
They tried to feed it to us back on the island, but "vile" doesn't even begin to describe how bad it was.
[sobbing.]
If Dr.
Bellum thinks I'll stand by while she risks people starving so VILE can make a quick buck [laughs.]
she has a surprise coming.
[Zack.]
Carm! Hmm, I'll take the shortcut.
Something tells me that was no Komodo dragon.
Hiyasss! - Tigress.
Haven't seen you since - Morocco.
The pit.
You broke my glasses.
You didn't protect the face.
You may want to protect yours before I rearrange it! Ya! [screeches.]
[grunting.]
Carmen's occupied.
I'll take the rear.
[grunts.]
[engine roars.]
[grunts.]
[both grunting.]
[Tigress shouting.]
- What's in the truck, Tigress? - Wouldn't you like to know.
Yes, I would.
That's why I'm asking.
[both grunting.]
[laughs.]
Oh! Yeah, baby! Fruity goodness! [sniffs.]
Oh! [munching.]
Mmm! [Ivy shouts.]
Huh? Sis! Oh, boy.
Whoa, whoa! [Ivy shouting.]
Zack! Whoa! [Ivy.]
Help me! Over here! Ivy, I'm gonna shoot you a line! [Carmen.]
Yah! [groans.]
[Tigress.]
Now, about that little nip and tuck.
[Tigress grunts.]
[Zack.]
Ivy! [grunts.]
Ah! [sniffs, gags.]
Oh! Whoa! What crawled in here and died? [tires screech.]
[both grunting.]
Skyrockets! [Tigress shouting.]
- [thuds.]
- [groans.]
[tires screeching.]
[Carmen shouts.]
[grunts.]
[Tigress.]
Hmm.
[Player.]
If Dr.
Bellum's bioweapon requires a launch mechanism, that would explain the fireworks you saw in the truck.
[Carmen.]
Bellum's superspores must be packed into the pods of the skyrockets.
Player, where would someone go to see fireworks around here? [Player.]
Hmm.
It's not New Year's Eve.
And Indonesians don't celebrate the 4th of July.
But there is a Shadow Puppet Festival tonight not too far from you, just outside of Jakarta.
Let me guess, bordering a swath of interconnected rice paddies? [Player.]
You're suave and you're psychic.
So, why is VILE sneaking around? Why not have Tigress find the nearest rice crop and scatter the spores? Not VILE's style.
They never operate without a smokescreen, and they never show their true face.
[Argent.]
No face, no name, no fingerprints.
It's as if our witness didn't exist.
Are you trying to rub it in, Ms.
Argent? Because you are doing a sensational job of it.
We know that he indeed exists because some faceless, nameless paper-pusher here at Interpol, Paris, approved his release.
Then perhaps you were right, Inspector.
The man must have been innocent.
Of course I was right! Which means the only link I have to Carmen Sandiego is long gone.
It all seems very strange, as if details are lurking just out of view, somewhere in the shadows.
[Indonesian folk music playing.]
[music continues.]
[crowd laughing.]
[women laughing.]
[Player.]
The fireworks finale would most likely launch from behind the main stage.
I'll check it out.
Meantime, Zack, Ivy, keep a lookout for oversized kitty cats.
We're your eyes in the sky, Carm.
Until someone spikes a face-plant.
[whimpering.]
[folk music continues.]
[watch beeps.]
Dr.
Bellum, bioweapons are locked, loaded, and ready to launch.
Tigress, you know the rules.
Nothing must seem out of the ordinary.
The fireworks must launch as scheduled: when the puppet show is over, and not a moment before.
You do realize that means risking another surprise visit by Fedora the Explorer, or whatever she's calling herself these days.
[Carmen.]
You can call me Carmen.
[Tigress groans.]
Name-calling, another reason I unfriended you.
- [groans, panting.]
She's here! - [watch beeps.]
Permission to break protocol and launch the spores.
Dr.
Bellum? - [groans.]
- [Bellum chuckles.]
I'm sorry, what was that? [playing discordant notes.]
[panting.]
[folk music continues.]
Hyah! [Tigress grunts.]
- [music stops.]
- [man gasping.]
[crowd.]
Aw! [Carmen grunts.]
Carmen? You al Whoa! [whimpering.]
[Ivy whimpering, grunts.]
All yours, Carm.
Green, bad.
Red, good.
[Zack.]
Naturally.
[roars.]
[roars.]
[Carmen and Tigress grunting.]
[folk music continues.]
[crowd.]
Ooh! [both grunting.]
[shouts.]
[crowd laughs, applauds.]
[thuds.]
[smacks.]
[crackles.]
[crowd.]
Aw! Puppet show's over.
Word of advice? Don't eat the tainted rice.
[rockets whistling.]
The show must go on.
[Indonesian folk music playing.]
The bad pods are under lock and key like you asked, Carm.
Let's get them far away from here.
After we grab a bite.
- Who's up for a rice bowl? My treat.
- [laughs.]
- [Zack.]
Nice job, sis! - [Ivy.]
Yeah! All right.
I did my best, but that Carmen Sandiego is one jumpy 'roo! Thanks to her, I am stuck with warehouses filled with imitation instant rice and no one to sell it to! So, Tigress failed her mission, too, eh? [Maelstrom.]
Have a seat.
[switch clicks.]
Please.
You went to school here, Mr.
Crackle.
To fail is forgivable.
But to allow yourself to be captured? [tsking.]
Your misstep could have put the entire academy at risk.
Well, it it won't happen again, I assure you.
[grunting.]
Oh, we assure you that it won't.
- [grunts.]
- Relax, this won't hurt a bit.
No, please! [whimpers.]
Just a light tingling sensation, then happy days.
- [phone beeps.]
- We lost Carmen Sandiego.
Yes, again.
Chief wants us to initiate plan B.
[Indonesian folk music playing.]

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