Catherine the Great (2019) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
[DOGS WHIMPERING.]
- Here's the account, madame.
- CATHERINE: Mm.
Good, good.
POTEMKIN: Matushka! [CATHERINE SIGHS.]
POTEMKIN: Matushka! Please! CATHERINE: I'm coming, I'm coming! - [POTEMKIN GRUNTING.]
- What are you doing? Where have they put my stockings? PETER ZAVADOVSKY: Your stockings, sir? What the fuck is he doing here? - CATHERINE: Well, we're working.
- What? Oh, out! Go.
- [POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
- ZAVADOVSKY: Your Majesty.
POTEMKIN: Oh, where are they? They're here.
Here.
- [POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
- Oh, thank goodness.
Soup.
Yes.
How does one get soup on one's stocking? By eating soup in bed.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Come here.
- I'm still hungry.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- Are you? Stop.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHING.]
Come on.
The council meeting.
Come on.
We're late.
- POTEMKIN: I was thinking - CATHERINE: Mm? POTEMKIN: We need a place to live.
[SCOFFS.]
This is not enough? No! No, no.
A home.
A home! - This is home.
- Well - Your signature.
- A house - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- is not a home, and a A home is not a palace.
A palace, and this is something I can be quite sure of, is not a house! Matushka, a word, please! In private! In private, if there is such a thing in this place! It's the council, Grishenka! Buttons will be done up.
Ah, yes.
Someone's starting to sound like my wife.
[WHISPERING.]
Some people say I am your wife.
[BANGING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
CATHERINE: You could do that to call them to order.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- Yes, or shoot them, possibly.
Well, you mustn't think they hate you.
They don't hate you.
I won't let them hate you.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
Poor little lap dog, eh? [POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
[CATHERINE LAUGHS.]
Little lap dog's gonna make a speech.
Yes, I'm, uh I'm Minister Panin.
Yes, and I'm gonna talk about Europe, and Europe, and in particular these Germans over here on our western front, our allies that keep us safe.
But then I look at Russia, Matushka.
I look down south, and I see Crimea, the Black Sea, vast tracts of empty land that we should be laying claim to.
CATHERINE: Hm.
- The Crimea.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
That's always been a Russian dream.
POTEMKIN: A port in the Black Sea.
We could build a naval fleet, a fleet that would make us great.
- [CATHERINE SIGHS.]
- POTEMKIN: A great nation.
[WHISPERS.]
But do you think that's realistic? - Yes.
- I mean, really? Yes, of course.
Well, we must be very diplomatic.
Well, I'll be very devious.
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no.
But I know Minister Panin loves the Germans, as does your son, the Grand Duke.
Yes, I'll be I'll be diplomatic, - I'll be duplicitous - PANIN: All most important qualities in a statesman, Count Potemkin.
CATHERINE: Um, Count Potemkin wishes to speak about foreign policy.
POTEMKIN: Yes.
I'm sure some of you already know my feelings on these matters.
CATHERINE: Yes, we were just discussing the Crimea.
Is Your Majesty prepared for another Turkish war? POTEMKIN: Well, we won the last one, if I recall.
If the foreign minister is so worried about Europe's reaction, perhaps he might find other alliances.
It's obviously a very risky idea, Your Majesty.
- As minister of war - Foreign policy is a most delicate and sensitive matter.
I'm sure Your Majesty agrees that our alliance with Germany is of vital importance.
- Europe is the thing.
- POTEMKIN: Is it? Is it the only thing? PANIN: It certainly is important.
- ALEXEI ORLOV: It is.
- Well, of course it is a factor.
But Count Potemkin's proposals are very interesting.
Thank you, Peter.
So, I'm going to circulate a note from Peter Zavadosky that I want us to study in detail.
CATHERINE: I would draw your attention to number four.
Now, this is in relation to the election of governor generals in the provinces.
You will see at number four we have General Kamensky, who's been suggested [DIALOGUE FADES.]
Why didn't you support me in there? - It wasn't the right time.
- Oh, please.
When is the right time? Our future lies in the Crimea.
With a port in the Black Sea, we'd become a major power.
Well, it's my dream as well as yours, but do you think the French and the Germans and the English will let us get away with it? - I doubt it! - Yes.
The whole of the land to the south can be ours.
We take it; they will want to join us! [SCOFFS.]
Well You may be right.
But But what? Hm? You don't want to lose me? You don't want me to go off to war, is that it? I do love you.
You know that.
It's a great adventure, Matushka.
- Are you tired of adventure? - Well, no one's asking me to go on an adventure.
Oh, no, I stay here in the palace, and I write and I write and I write, and I I'm a graphomaniac, permanently in committee.
Well, I want to run.
I can't stand a life without adventure.
[SIGHS.]
Well, you you you don't like your apartments here? They were Orlov's.
Vasilchikov's before that.
No, I don't like my fucking apartments.
What What am What am I to you? Am I just someone that's supposed to What? Stand behind your chair at dinner, huh? Take you upstairs after the brandy? Give you a good fucking, is that what I'm here for? Hmm? Am I just the favorite? - I hate that word.
- No! - I can't stand it.
- No, no.
Look You know.
You know what you are.
No.
I don't know what I am.
If I can find a way to make your idea work, we will do it.
That's my woman.
Come on.
[CLOCK CHIMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Something worrying you, Andrei? - Do I look worried? - Yeah.
Why should I be worried? Your wife's having a baby.
It's wonderful.
[PAUL LAUGHS.]
Oh, I want you to always, always be my best friend.
You are part of our family.
Of course, Your Excellency.
Oh.
Paul.
[SNORTS.]
Of course.
Your Excellency.
I've finally done something to please my mother.
I've given her a baby.
A child! An heir! [PAUL LAUGHS LOUDLY.]
Will it look like me? That's my only worry.
I'm sure it will.
I hope it does.
[ANDREI LAUGHS.]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
And we would like to extend a warm welcome to the ambassadors of the French and the German nations, who are bound to us both as partners and Europeans.
Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe.
It's all he goes on about.
Somebody needs to remind him that we're Russian.
I need to speak to Paul.
I must find him.
Oh, yes.
Now that he's gonna give you an heir, I suppose - he must be spoken with.
- Well, yes.
You know important - that is to me.
- Succession, of course.
Only too well.
If the man comes to power, I'm a dead man.
Oh, don't exaggerate.
You're being ridiculous.
I'm not a natural courtier.
I never will be.
I'm Russian.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Look at them.
No, no, no.
Look at them.
Look at them.
Waiting for me to trip over my own cock.
Dressed to kill, literally.
Should've worn my bearskin.
- Oh, don't be like this.
- Don't be like what? Don't be like what? - They're arguing.
- POTEMKIN: Huh? I think Potemkin wants to push her to let him invade the Crimea.
You heard him at the council.
So that he can fight another Turkish war and distinguish himself.
She won't let him.
Disagreeing about politics.
Very dangerous for Potemkin.
Madame is all about politics.
Do you think she even likes men? She eats them and spits them out.
Well, look at my poor brother.
Potemkin almost certainly can't satisfy her.
I am told that she requires her men in teams of 12.
They do it in relays, and only trained athletes need apply.
A grandchild is what I want most in this world.
I am glad you're happy, Mother.
- And happy you are glad.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- ANDREI: Natalia! Natalia! [NATALIA GIGGLES.]
Yes, a grandchild.
What a bond.
And who cares who the father is? The hypocrisy of family.
Well, is yours any different? - Your Majesty.
- Yes? The German ambassador has arrived.
Waiting to see - F What am I doing here? - [GLASS SMASHES.]
POTEMKIN: Wasting my time! Grigory, Grigory, if it is this Crimea business that's making you so angry, I will find a way! - I always do.
- Who gives a fuck about the Crimea? You think all I care about is the Crimea? All Europe is passionate about Crimea, Auntie! - POTEMKIN: Huh? - Some of them even know how to find it on a map.
It's more than that, and you know it! Who was that boy up there? Huh? Why is he always hanging around? Because she likes him! - Ah! - Leave us, Fool! Peter.
Peter Zavadovsky.
- Oh! - You know he's not important - to me.
How can you - Oh, it's Peter, now! Peter! - No Where are you going? - I'm going to get drunk, with him! You have more vodka, Fool? Never leave the home without it.
That's why I don't have a home.
It's the mother we never had, Matushka.
You come back here.
Grishenka, you come back here right now! [DRUNKEN SINGING IN THE DISTANCE.]
POTEMKIN: [MUMBLING.]
Empress Where the f Where the fuck am I? Oh Oh [GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- PAUL: Mother She, uh - CATHERINE: Hm? She's in labor.
[INDISTINCT PANICKED CHATTER.]
- What What's going on? - It's the Crown Princess.
[SCREAMS.]
How long? Too long, Your Majesty.
- [NATALIA SOBBING.]
- Too long.
- [NATALIA SCREAMING.]
- How is she? CATHERINE: You'll get through it, my darling.
The Crown Princess is experiencing - some difficulties in labor - No! Her Majesty.
How's the Empress Catherine? She is watching, Your Excellency, by the bedside.
She asks that only immediate family be present.
[NATALIA SCREAMING.]
[LOUD KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
It's me, it's her, it's hopeless.
[SIGHS.]
She's got this new assistant.
Zavadovsky? - He's no threat to you.
- Yeah.
You're the one she loves.
It - It's complicated.
- It shouldn't be complicated, that's the point.
Love should be simple, or it isn't love.
Why are you talking like a schoolgirl? Because that's how she makes me feel.
Like a schoolgirl.
She never listens to my ideas and I'm not prepared to sit around and be her lap dog.
- And so, you argue.
- So it seems.
She can't bear arguments.
Well, she's fucking good at them! - [COUNTESS BRUCE LAUGHS.]
- She always has things to do.
Well, tell her you have things to do as well.
- She'll understand that.
- But I don't.
That's the point.
You're ambitious, and in the end, she doesn't like people who stand and wait.
POTEMKIN: Hm.
Being yourself is the only way you'll hold onto her.
What are you doing? A quick one? We shouldn't.
I love her.
A quick one wouldn't hurt anyone.
You're a terrible woman.
[COUNTESS BRUCE LAUGHS.]
Does she have any chance? And the baby? Oh, Paul.
CATHERINE: She died.
And the baby died too.
Oh.
I'm very sorry.
They've opened her body up.
It was a boy.
A healthy boy.
I wanted to see it.
Him.
I wanted to see him.
Come here.
I'll come and see him with you.
Do you want to do that? Am I part of your life? If you want to be.
I can't be if you won't let me be.
[CATHERINE GROANS.]
Backwards and forwards and round and round and round in circles.
That's how we go.
I mean, what is the point of it all? I guess there comes a moment in any affair "Any affair"? Is that all we are? It can't go on.
It can't continue.
You don't know why, and you we do things and we don't know why we do them.
You reach a wall and you can't see beyond.
And we've reached that point, have we? Well, you [SCOFFS.]
You choose a fine time to tell me.
Well, in a sense, I don't think we'll ever reach that point.
I just I never want to leave you, I may have to.
Well, we all have to learn how to die.
Yes.
Yes.
Poor Natalia.
- She - I meant us, Grishenka.
[SERVANTS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Well, I have to go.
You can come if you want.
PAUL: [SOBBING.]
It's a judgment of God.
- PANIN: Your Excellency - [SNIFFLES.]
I'm being punished.
- I'm a bad person.
- You mustn't A mother punishes her husband, and her son punishes his mother for what he thinks that she did to his his father, and and then the curse goes down the family, and misery gets passed on [SNIFFLES.]
from generation to generation.
I have been speaking to the doctors, Your Excellency.
You may see the body of your son, should you so wish.
My son.
My son.
How I longed for this child.
And yet it's not a child.
'Cause he's not here.
He didn't even draw breath.
PAUL: My son.
There is so little time.
Let us at least try to love one another.
[STIFLING SOBS.]
I'll try.
Yes.
[CATHERINE SIGHS.]
Love is so important.
Don't you agree? POTEMKIN: Mm.
But so difficult to sustain.
CATHERINE: "And so, to the question of alliances," and put that in italics.
All of it, Your Majesty? No, not all of it, or indeed all of it.
Uh, "alliances" is the bit she wants in italics.
Alliances.
It's the way she says it.
You can tell when she's speaking in italics? That is extraordinary.
Yes, well, it's, uh it's very important to be sensitive to the nuances of her voice.
You do it, Peter, and let him copy out your version.
Bezborodko, would you leave us, please? Peter, you stay.
Stay.
You were speaking in italics, Your Majesty.
I spotted it.
No, I'm afraid I wasn't.
So, where do I think Russia should be in the world? What do the people want us to be? Are we going to continue to defer to the Europeans, or move south towards the Crimea?" That's rather good, isn't it? I wonder who wrote it.
- Why, you did, Your Majesty.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
POTEMKIN: Well, perhaps I can help re-write it.
Peter, leave us.
Oh, please.
ZAVADOVSKY: Your Majesty.
How is your secretary? I'm sorry, which one? [POTEMKIN LAUGHS.]
The good-looking one.
Peter.
Hm? Oh.
Hm.
Yeah, you trust him, do you? CATHERINE: Mm.
For God's sake, we can't go on like this.
- Like what? - Like this! This is a You have infinite choice and I've got none.
I have power! Yes, it may look as if I can simply do as I please, but Look, you know it isn't like that.
You don't need to crawl on your hands and knees to Panin and his unstoppable desire to suck the German cock.
Well, you haven't read the rest - of what I've written, have you? - I don't need to hear the rest - of the thing, do I? Oh, please.
- Well, you just listen! Listen! Please, indulge me.
Here, I will hear the rest of the thing.
Come on, yes.
"The Muslim tribes in the Crimea and in the whole of the area to the north are utterly divided and have no love for the Turks.
It is possible we could bring them into the Russian Empire without the use of force.
" Might be true.
You see.
We agree, Grishenka.
I'm for expansion, I'm for empire.
I'm all for telling the Germans and the French and the English to fuck off.
I'm a Russian patriot, with a German head.
What I don't want is another war.
You think we can take the Crimea without a war? The French and the English have other worries.
The Germans will never act alone.
You would need someone to - Who could talk to the tribes.
- The tribes.
Yes.
I would be gone a long time.
We will always have each other, Grishenka.
Well Don't get too fond of that boy.
- Him? Oh, don't - No.
No.
Please.
No matter what happens to either of us, in bed or out of it, we will always have each other.
Won't we? Are you giving me permission to stray? I don't want to be given permission.
New beginnings, Matushka.
You go.
And you do what you have to do.
With my blessing.
[GASPS.]
Oh.
Oh, no.
But you write.
Will you, please, please, just write, write, write.
[CATHERINE SOBS.]
[DRILL SERGEANT YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
[HORSE WHINNIES.]
[DRILL SERGEANT YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
[SOLDIERS STOMP.]
PANIN: So, Prince Potemkin's soldiers are headed south What of it? I have to say, Your Majesty, that I am worried.
You're worried, Minister? It is noted.
What else are you worried about? The drainage system in the Ukraine? Whether or not to tax root vegetables? The price of bread in Novgorod? It's my job to worry, Minister, not yours.
Work! [CLAPS HANDS.]
Work.
That's what life is all about.
Did you wish to discuss anything else with me? I'm obviously thinking about the prince, Your Majesty.
He's suffered a blow, but, uh Well, he's getting stronger.
As you know, I'm very close to him, and, um, I was thinking I think it's time he got married again.
Where's that list? Here is a list of suitable princesses.
With respect, Your Majesty They're arranged in order of suitability.
Start with number one and work your way down to number 25.
One or two of them are German, as it happens.
Some wonderful things have come out of Germany, Your Majesty.
Yourself included.
Do it.
Go.
The boy needs to move on.
[QUILL SCRATCHING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
PAUL: I don't want to get up.
CATHERINE: It's never been easy between us, I know.
I understand that.
PAUL: You don't understand.
I met someone who actually loved me and now she's she's dead.
She's dead.
- You must eat.
- PAUL: No.
Oh, come on.
Get a grip.
- Now, I understand how you feel.
- Do you? Well, I I'm trying to.
I really am.
I don't feel you do.
[CATHERINE SIGHS.]
Your wife is dead, and your son is dead.
[PAUL SNIFFS.]
It It's time to move on.
PAUL: Where are we going? To face up to things.
No, no, no.
This is her room.
- Why have you brought me here? - I want to show you something.
No, do not touch that.
Do not touch that! That is That is her private drawer! Get out! Get out! She kept things in here she didn't want you to see.
Letters.
Letters from your best friend, Count Razumovsky, with whom she was having an affair, and who, in all probability, is the father of the dead child.
How dare you say such vile things to me? You're lying.
You're lying.
I'm telling the truth.
I'm sorry for it.
Read.
Or are you Are you too frightened? No.
One should never be frightened of facing the truth.
This is his handwriting.
Do you recognize it? [READING INDISTINCTLY.]
The bastard.
Nothing in love is forever, Paul.
Death and distance have a way of interfering.
It's not a sin to fall in love again, when the one you love is gone.
CATHERINE: My darling, where are you? I've not heard from you, and I'm worried that - No, not now.
- Your Majesty.
Does anyone know what this is? It is the Treaty of St Petersburg, - Your Majesty.
- Yes, it is.
And it led to our alliance with that nasty little man, Frederick II of Prussia, who once referred to me in private, although I hear everything, as a cunt.
But it seems we are still tied to our alliance with him.
Do either of you know why? - Foreign policy, Your Majesty? - Oh, get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! ZAVADOVSKY: Until we secure the Crimea, Your Majesty, it might be dangerous to move on.
Yes, you're quite right, Peter.
Good, good.
You've been listening to me.
Yes, move slowly.
You're quite right.
I'm so sorry I was unpleasant, I Things weigh on me sometimes.
I'm always grateful to serve, Your Majesty.
Yes, you may go.
Oh, Prince Potemkin has Prince Potemkin has been away too long.
I am sorry.
You know how much that I CATHERINE: That you? What respect I have for him.
Prince Potemkin.
Yes, he is an extraordinary man.
He is.
But he is not here.
And you are.
Yes, Your Majesty.
So rub my shoulders? [ZAVADOVSKY CLEARS THROAT.]
Lower.
[SIGHS.]
Come Come round to the front.
[CHUCKLES.]
You may do whatever it is you think I want.
[GASPS.]
Lock the door.
People are always bothering me.
You know, you are the best secretary I have ever had.
PANIN: There are one or two outstanding candidates.
This is the daughter of the Grand Duke of - Wiesbaden-Gleiwitz.
- God.
What a boot.
A marriage is a great opportunity for you, Your Excellency.
From what I hear, Potemkin is trying to convince the Crimean Tartars to join the Russian Empire, and, unsurprisingly, not having much success.
Your star will rise.
Princess Sophia of Wurtemburg.
Apparently she has good child-bearing hips.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
I'm so glad you are pleased with Princess Sophia of Wurtemburg.
She'll make Prince Paul a wonderful wife.
She is a warm and wonderful human being.
And German.
She is also German.
Please don't think this is going to make me feel more kindly towards other Germans, Panin.
Our alliance with Germany and the rest of Europe is a delicate business.
Especially if we're embarked on an adventure in the Crimea.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
PANIN: She misses him.
Unfortunately.
What's he doing in the Crimea, exactly? No one knows.
I think he's told her he'll somehow manage to annex it, without a fight.
Which he won't.
ALEXEI: I saw Zavadovsky go upstairs by the back route to do her last night.
Oh, the back route? [CHUCKLES.]
Many, many congratulations, sir.
Well, aren't things easier without One Eye? I'm sure he'll end up killing every Tartar in Crimea.
Unless they kill him first.
CATHERINE: I have not heard from you for what seems an eternity.
I know what you're doing is dangerous, but I beg you to let me know what is happening.
[HORSES GALLOPING.]
POTEMKIN: It is true.
I am to blame for not having written you.
[SOLDIERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
My most merciful lady and generous mistress.
I shall soon be able to tell you the whole story of my adventures.
It isn't finished yet, but we are close.
I swear, in the name of the one God, and the Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, to serve and sacrifice my life and my soul, for the Empress Catherine.
POTEMKIN: I managed somehow to persuade the entire Tartar elite to take the oath of allegiance to you.
I congratulate you upon your acquisition of the Crimea.
I can't tell you how happy and excited I am, and how I long to see you.
CATHERINE: My darling, our dreams for Russia are finally coming true.
For all this, I thank you, but I am missing you terribly.
A letter for Her Majesty.
CATHERINE: The Grand Duchess has just given birth to a son, whom I call Monsieur Alexandre.
I am besotted with this infant.
It's a pleasure to see him sprawl on his rug.
And he is beginning to show singular intelligence for a child of his age.
[BABY FUSSING.]
I can make of him what I want.
POTEMKIN: What sovereign has ever compiled such a brilliant epoch as you? The lands upon which others merely glanced, you have bound to the Russian scepter.
This new border promises Russia peace, Europe envy, and the Ottomans fear.
Take up this trophy and order your historians to prepare more paper and ink.
I will build a new city here in your honor, and a port to the open sea that we always dreamed of.
VALERIAN ZUBOV: What are you gonna call it, sir? POTEMKIN: Grigory.
No, I'm not gonna call the town Grigory.
- [ZUBOV LAUGHS.]
- You may call me Grigory, because I like you.
Christ, nobody wants to live in a town called Gregory.
The sewers would be overflowing and it'd be all brothels and bars.
[ZUBOV CHUCKLES.]
No, this will be a colossal city.
Huh? It'll live forever.
We'll have wide streets, boulevards, we'll have art and cathedrals and orchards, and music on every corner.
ZUBOV: Mozart.
Of course we'll have Mozart.
Yes.
You love her very much.
I do.
From the first moment I saw her, when I was nothing.
And it'll never change.
No, it is a an affection that refuses to be altered by circumstances.
[SIGHS.]
They call this town Akhtiar.
The White Cliffs.
But we shall call it Sebastopol.
The Imperial City.
The Empress's City.
All for the glory of Catherine.
CATHERINE: Oh, how I miss you.
Come home.
Come home to me now.
- [CHEERING.]
- [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
- CATHERINE: You did it.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
Yes I did.
[CATHERINE AND POTEMKIN CHUCKLE.]
They said you would never do it, and you did.
And you have a German daughter-in-law, just to show them what a good European you still are.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let them all think that but tonight we are celebrating you.
POTEMKIN: Mm But I must soon return.
My work in the south is just starting.
CATHERINE: Let's enjoy tonight.
There is nothing sweeter than the sounds of a party fading into the distance.
If you're walking away from it with the right person.
Huh? Mm.
I did it all for you my love.
[BABY COOING.]
POTEMKIN: She's enjoying her child.
- She's very respectful.
- Mm? She's learned Russian.
And she has good child-bearing hips.
- I hate her.
- [POTEMKIN LAUGHS.]
Of course you do.
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING.]
Go on.
Go, I'll stay here.
The sight of me might start him off.
Well, the little boy, you know I'm just I'm surprised by how much I love him, how much he means to me.
It's never the children, Matushka; it's what we do to them.
It's too late for us.
Go on, go.
Go, go, go.
Go on.
[MARIA CHUCKLES.]
[CATHERINE COOING.]
Oh, hello! Hello.
Can you see me? [POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
PAUL: Where are you taking him, Mother? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I'm not stealing him, darling.
[CHUCKLES.]
Maria understands, don't you? We can be friends now, can't we? - Now you've given me a son.
- Grandson.
He's your grandson.
He's my son.
[CATHERINE COOING.]
When do we get him back, Mother? In five years, when he's reached the age of reason.
That was a joke.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [BABY CRYING.]
- [CATHERINE SHUSHING.]
ZAVADOVSKY: So, what about the Turks? Are they gonna let us keep Crimea? - I somehow forgot to ask them.
- [CATHERINE LAUGHS.]
Prince Potemkin has thought all this through - very carefully, Peter.
- Of course.
Of course.
[ZAVADOVSKY SNIFFS.]
I do I do think about things, you know? [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
In politics, Peter, there are always a certain amount of unknown factors.
It's never a good idea to try and discover them.
The future will happen.
All we know is we have Crimea.
The only other issue is Where next? - [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- [POTEMKIN MUMBLES.]
Is that south? We should go south? Ooh.
Yes.
Matushka.
CATHERINE: Hm? I've had an idea.
Please, not another one.
Wh Where do I belong in all of this? Please, what is my What's my purpose here? I have no idea.
Well, if you do not wish to be here, you can always leave.
[SCOFFS.]
Fine.
I will! Your trousers.
He was getting very tedious.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
I want the Ministry of War.
You shall have it.
We don't need any of them anymore.
Oh.
[CATHERINE CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Oh, look at you.
Every button in place.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, Matushka, what about your son, the Grand Duke? From now on, Prince Paul can do as he is told.
How about a diplomatic tour? He could visit the Austrian court? Good idea.
Let's do this.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
So, first, we would like to thank Alexei Orlov for his loyal service at the Ministry of War, and his post will now be given to Prince Potemkin, in acknowledgement for his great work in the Crimea.
POTEMKIN: Bravo.
Bravo! Oh, Count Orlov, did you have something to say before you leave? No, Your Majesty.
CATHERINE: And now I want to signal a major change in our foreign policy, away from Europe, and May I - say something, Your Majesty? - Yes, please do.
- With respect - [DOOR CLOSES.]
we may have fooled a few savages into giving away the Crimea, and, in the course of time, someone else may well fool us into giving it away again, - but - We gained the Crimea.
Which makes us more powerful.
CATHERINE: And your point is? - I must say I really must - You must say? What must you say? What is your point? My point is that my foreign policy has always developed on a secure network of alliances in Europe, particularly in Germany.
And adventure in the Crimea has put those alliances in danger.
Well, what is your definition of a "secure network of alliances"? One that - A system which - CATHERINE: A system which you have devised for your own convenience.
[SCOFFS.]
There's no such thing as a secure network of alliances in politics, Minister.
You should know that after watching me work.
I - I - Yes? You had another point? [PANIN EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I really do not see how I can proceed, if you insist Well, if we are following a policy with which you disagree, there is only one course for you.
I I do not wish to resign, Your Majesty.
I know you have poisoned my son against me.
There may be nothing I can do about that now, but know this: I will never forgive you.
I do not wish to resign.
But? I I suppose I must do so.
A principled decision.
Accepted.
And we thank you for your loyal service all these years.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[BREATHES SHAKILY.]
PAUL: I do not want to go on a state visit to the Austrian court! This [STAMMERS.]
This is a little scheme of Potemkin's, isn't it? To do with his adventures down south? Well, I'm not going! God, this man is taking control of the whole court! You will go, and you will leave my grandson with me.
I will not go! I will not! Ah, that will be your old tutor.
He's just resigned.
He will need money.
Yes? What use are you to me if you cannot help me? Mm? What use are you to anyone? [BABY CRYING.]
You know, what you need in retirement, Nikita Ivanovich, is a hobby.
I suggest you acquire one.
Soon.
Now, remember, charm at all times.
The Emperor Joseph is sparkling company, and we need his support for what we're doing - in the Crimea.
- [BABY FUSSING.]
So Don't worry, darling.
I'll take good care of him.
Just as your grandmother looked after you.
- [BABY CRYING.]
- I hardly ever saw you.
But we survived, didn't we? Hm? [CRYING CONTINUES.]
[HORSES TROTTING.]
SOLDIER: Men, move out.
- Well, back to work.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
I will also have to leave soon, too.
Back down south, building our empire.
I don't want you to be lonely.
There's a man I would like you to meet.
Alexander Mamonov.
Perhaps he can keep you company while I'm away.
Though I will insist you visit me when the work is complete.
CATHERINE: I suppose if we can't live together, we'll have to learn how to live with others.
POTEMKIN: Mm.
But without jealousy, because jealousy is disgusting.
- It's - POTEMKIN: Mm-hm.
Pointless.
- And demeaning.
Mm.
- Demeaning, yes.
- Your Majesty.
- CATHERINE: Mm.
- It's my pleasure.
- Very nice to meet you.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CROWD SHOUTING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
[ALEXANDER MAMONOV PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
MAMONOV: I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
[MAMONOV SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[BELL RINGING.]
[WATER LAPPING.]
[POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
I wouldn't worry about it, really.
MAMONOV: I can't believe it.
[SIGHS.]
It's never happened before.
No? SOLDIER: Welcome aboard, Prince Potemkin.
POTEMKIN: Let's get this show on the road.
MAMONOV: I'm sorry.
Really.
Really, don't worry about it.
POTEMKIN: Got the weather for it eh, lads? Huh? SAILOR: Prince Potemkin.
Good to have you aboard, sir.
You're here! Well Why didn't you say? POTEMKIN: I didn't want to bother you.
[STAMPS FOOT.]
I'm here now.
I've been getting it all ready.
All ready for you.
CATHERINE: Stop it.
[CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYS.]
So, let's to the Crimea.
POTEMKIN: Row! ELENA: Your Majesty.
POTEMKIN: We sail down this river, we reach the Black Sea and then we show everyone a new Russia! [SIGHS.]
She's cheered up then.
Can't live with him, can't live without him.
ELENA: Your Majesty.
- CATHERINE: Thank you.
- ELENA: Prince Potemkin.
Thank you.
[GLASS SMASHES.]
I think Mamonov is fucking her.
POTEMKIN: Well, what are you going to do about that? - Fifty lashes.
- [LAUGHS.]
You are a You're a monster.
You are, you're a terrible monster.
You use people up and throw them away when you've finished with them.
Fifty lashes.
You're You're outrageous, you're terrible, Matushka.
- You're a monster.
- That's not a very nice thing to say about someone, especially someone you say you love.
Oh, but I do love you.
I'll always love you.
Even when there isn't any more me or any more you I will still love you.
Does it upset you? No, not especially.
Hmm.
But this This This is what we were meant to do.
Make Russia great.
Never had any choice in the matter.
You're the one.
You are.
It was only ever you.
Wherever you are, wherever I am.
From the first time I saw you.
Love is to do with the soul.
Me, you there.
Here.
Now.
POTEMKIN: My love - What? - POTEMKIN: Come on.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you doing here? There's something I want to show you.
Great.
Come on.
Give me that.
Give me that.
What do you taste? What do you taste? Salt! [LAUGHS.]
We're not on the river, we're on the sea! What do you think is around the next headland? Huh? Of course you don't know, come on! Good morning, boys! Good morning! Good morning.
Close your eyes.
Come on, come on.
Close your eyes.
Close your Don't! Come on! - Hey.
- CATHERINE: Where [CHUCKLES.]
There.
Right there.
Keep them closed.
Now.
There.
The reason we have traveled down river.
Sebastopol, Matushka.
[GASPS.]
Our window into the Black Sea.
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
I have built you, like I promised, a Russian naval fleet.
[CANNON FIRE.]
For you, and Russia, to take our empire across the sea.
To Byzantium.
I've done all of this for you.
And only you.
This is how I love you.
- Here's the account, madame.
- CATHERINE: Mm.
Good, good.
POTEMKIN: Matushka! [CATHERINE SIGHS.]
POTEMKIN: Matushka! Please! CATHERINE: I'm coming, I'm coming! - [POTEMKIN GRUNTING.]
- What are you doing? Where have they put my stockings? PETER ZAVADOVSKY: Your stockings, sir? What the fuck is he doing here? - CATHERINE: Well, we're working.
- What? Oh, out! Go.
- [POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
- ZAVADOVSKY: Your Majesty.
POTEMKIN: Oh, where are they? They're here.
Here.
- [POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
- Oh, thank goodness.
Soup.
Yes.
How does one get soup on one's stocking? By eating soup in bed.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
Come here.
- I'm still hungry.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- Are you? Stop.
[CHUCKLES.]
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- [LAUGHING.]
Come on.
The council meeting.
Come on.
We're late.
- POTEMKIN: I was thinking - CATHERINE: Mm? POTEMKIN: We need a place to live.
[SCOFFS.]
This is not enough? No! No, no.
A home.
A home! - This is home.
- Well - Your signature.
- A house - [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
- is not a home, and a A home is not a palace.
A palace, and this is something I can be quite sure of, is not a house! Matushka, a word, please! In private! In private, if there is such a thing in this place! It's the council, Grishenka! Buttons will be done up.
Ah, yes.
Someone's starting to sound like my wife.
[WHISPERING.]
Some people say I am your wife.
[BANGING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
CATHERINE: You could do that to call them to order.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- Yes, or shoot them, possibly.
Well, you mustn't think they hate you.
They don't hate you.
I won't let them hate you.
Oh.
Oh, yes.
Poor little lap dog, eh? [POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
[CATHERINE LAUGHS.]
Little lap dog's gonna make a speech.
Yes, I'm, uh I'm Minister Panin.
Yes, and I'm gonna talk about Europe, and Europe, and in particular these Germans over here on our western front, our allies that keep us safe.
But then I look at Russia, Matushka.
I look down south, and I see Crimea, the Black Sea, vast tracts of empty land that we should be laying claim to.
CATHERINE: Hm.
- The Crimea.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
That's always been a Russian dream.
POTEMKIN: A port in the Black Sea.
We could build a naval fleet, a fleet that would make us great.
- [CATHERINE SIGHS.]
- POTEMKIN: A great nation.
[WHISPERS.]
But do you think that's realistic? - Yes.
- I mean, really? Yes, of course.
Well, we must be very diplomatic.
Well, I'll be very devious.
Yes, yes, yes.
No, no.
But I know Minister Panin loves the Germans, as does your son, the Grand Duke.
Yes, I'll be I'll be diplomatic, - I'll be duplicitous - PANIN: All most important qualities in a statesman, Count Potemkin.
CATHERINE: Um, Count Potemkin wishes to speak about foreign policy.
POTEMKIN: Yes.
I'm sure some of you already know my feelings on these matters.
CATHERINE: Yes, we were just discussing the Crimea.
Is Your Majesty prepared for another Turkish war? POTEMKIN: Well, we won the last one, if I recall.
If the foreign minister is so worried about Europe's reaction, perhaps he might find other alliances.
It's obviously a very risky idea, Your Majesty.
- As minister of war - Foreign policy is a most delicate and sensitive matter.
I'm sure Your Majesty agrees that our alliance with Germany is of vital importance.
- Europe is the thing.
- POTEMKIN: Is it? Is it the only thing? PANIN: It certainly is important.
- ALEXEI ORLOV: It is.
- Well, of course it is a factor.
But Count Potemkin's proposals are very interesting.
Thank you, Peter.
So, I'm going to circulate a note from Peter Zavadosky that I want us to study in detail.
CATHERINE: I would draw your attention to number four.
Now, this is in relation to the election of governor generals in the provinces.
You will see at number four we have General Kamensky, who's been suggested [DIALOGUE FADES.]
Why didn't you support me in there? - It wasn't the right time.
- Oh, please.
When is the right time? Our future lies in the Crimea.
With a port in the Black Sea, we'd become a major power.
Well, it's my dream as well as yours, but do you think the French and the Germans and the English will let us get away with it? - I doubt it! - Yes.
The whole of the land to the south can be ours.
We take it; they will want to join us! [SCOFFS.]
Well You may be right.
But But what? Hm? You don't want to lose me? You don't want me to go off to war, is that it? I do love you.
You know that.
It's a great adventure, Matushka.
- Are you tired of adventure? - Well, no one's asking me to go on an adventure.
Oh, no, I stay here in the palace, and I write and I write and I write, and I I'm a graphomaniac, permanently in committee.
Well, I want to run.
I can't stand a life without adventure.
[SIGHS.]
Well, you you you don't like your apartments here? They were Orlov's.
Vasilchikov's before that.
No, I don't like my fucking apartments.
What What am What am I to you? Am I just someone that's supposed to What? Stand behind your chair at dinner, huh? Take you upstairs after the brandy? Give you a good fucking, is that what I'm here for? Hmm? Am I just the favorite? - I hate that word.
- No! - I can't stand it.
- No, no.
Look You know.
You know what you are.
No.
I don't know what I am.
If I can find a way to make your idea work, we will do it.
That's my woman.
Come on.
[CLOCK CHIMING.]
[LAUGHTER.]
Something worrying you, Andrei? - Do I look worried? - Yeah.
Why should I be worried? Your wife's having a baby.
It's wonderful.
[PAUL LAUGHS.]
Oh, I want you to always, always be my best friend.
You are part of our family.
Of course, Your Excellency.
Oh.
Paul.
[SNORTS.]
Of course.
Your Excellency.
I've finally done something to please my mother.
I've given her a baby.
A child! An heir! [PAUL LAUGHS LOUDLY.]
Will it look like me? That's my only worry.
I'm sure it will.
I hope it does.
[ANDREI LAUGHS.]
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
And we would like to extend a warm welcome to the ambassadors of the French and the German nations, who are bound to us both as partners and Europeans.
Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe, Europe.
It's all he goes on about.
Somebody needs to remind him that we're Russian.
I need to speak to Paul.
I must find him.
Oh, yes.
Now that he's gonna give you an heir, I suppose - he must be spoken with.
- Well, yes.
You know important - that is to me.
- Succession, of course.
Only too well.
If the man comes to power, I'm a dead man.
Oh, don't exaggerate.
You're being ridiculous.
I'm not a natural courtier.
I never will be.
I'm Russian.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Look at them.
No, no, no.
Look at them.
Look at them.
Waiting for me to trip over my own cock.
Dressed to kill, literally.
Should've worn my bearskin.
- Oh, don't be like this.
- Don't be like what? Don't be like what? - They're arguing.
- POTEMKIN: Huh? I think Potemkin wants to push her to let him invade the Crimea.
You heard him at the council.
So that he can fight another Turkish war and distinguish himself.
She won't let him.
Disagreeing about politics.
Very dangerous for Potemkin.
Madame is all about politics.
Do you think she even likes men? She eats them and spits them out.
Well, look at my poor brother.
Potemkin almost certainly can't satisfy her.
I am told that she requires her men in teams of 12.
They do it in relays, and only trained athletes need apply.
A grandchild is what I want most in this world.
I am glad you're happy, Mother.
- And happy you are glad.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- [BOTH CHUCKLE.]
- ANDREI: Natalia! Natalia! [NATALIA GIGGLES.]
Yes, a grandchild.
What a bond.
And who cares who the father is? The hypocrisy of family.
Well, is yours any different? - Your Majesty.
- Yes? The German ambassador has arrived.
Waiting to see - F What am I doing here? - [GLASS SMASHES.]
POTEMKIN: Wasting my time! Grigory, Grigory, if it is this Crimea business that's making you so angry, I will find a way! - I always do.
- Who gives a fuck about the Crimea? You think all I care about is the Crimea? All Europe is passionate about Crimea, Auntie! - POTEMKIN: Huh? - Some of them even know how to find it on a map.
It's more than that, and you know it! Who was that boy up there? Huh? Why is he always hanging around? Because she likes him! - Ah! - Leave us, Fool! Peter.
Peter Zavadovsky.
- Oh! - You know he's not important - to me.
How can you - Oh, it's Peter, now! Peter! - No Where are you going? - I'm going to get drunk, with him! You have more vodka, Fool? Never leave the home without it.
That's why I don't have a home.
It's the mother we never had, Matushka.
You come back here.
Grishenka, you come back here right now! [DRUNKEN SINGING IN THE DISTANCE.]
POTEMKIN: [MUMBLING.]
Empress Where the f Where the fuck am I? Oh Oh [GROANS.]
[GRUNTS.]
- PAUL: Mother She, uh - CATHERINE: Hm? She's in labor.
[INDISTINCT PANICKED CHATTER.]
- What What's going on? - It's the Crown Princess.
[SCREAMS.]
How long? Too long, Your Majesty.
- [NATALIA SOBBING.]
- Too long.
- [NATALIA SCREAMING.]
- How is she? CATHERINE: You'll get through it, my darling.
The Crown Princess is experiencing - some difficulties in labor - No! Her Majesty.
How's the Empress Catherine? She is watching, Your Excellency, by the bedside.
She asks that only immediate family be present.
[NATALIA SCREAMING.]
[LOUD KNOCKING ON DOOR.]
[POTEMKIN SIGHS.]
[SIGHS.]
It's me, it's her, it's hopeless.
[SIGHS.]
She's got this new assistant.
Zavadovsky? - He's no threat to you.
- Yeah.
You're the one she loves.
It - It's complicated.
- It shouldn't be complicated, that's the point.
Love should be simple, or it isn't love.
Why are you talking like a schoolgirl? Because that's how she makes me feel.
Like a schoolgirl.
She never listens to my ideas and I'm not prepared to sit around and be her lap dog.
- And so, you argue.
- So it seems.
She can't bear arguments.
Well, she's fucking good at them! - [COUNTESS BRUCE LAUGHS.]
- She always has things to do.
Well, tell her you have things to do as well.
- She'll understand that.
- But I don't.
That's the point.
You're ambitious, and in the end, she doesn't like people who stand and wait.
POTEMKIN: Hm.
Being yourself is the only way you'll hold onto her.
What are you doing? A quick one? We shouldn't.
I love her.
A quick one wouldn't hurt anyone.
You're a terrible woman.
[COUNTESS BRUCE LAUGHS.]
Does she have any chance? And the baby? Oh, Paul.
CATHERINE: She died.
And the baby died too.
Oh.
I'm very sorry.
They've opened her body up.
It was a boy.
A healthy boy.
I wanted to see it.
Him.
I wanted to see him.
Come here.
I'll come and see him with you.
Do you want to do that? Am I part of your life? If you want to be.
I can't be if you won't let me be.
[CATHERINE GROANS.]
Backwards and forwards and round and round and round in circles.
That's how we go.
I mean, what is the point of it all? I guess there comes a moment in any affair "Any affair"? Is that all we are? It can't go on.
It can't continue.
You don't know why, and you we do things and we don't know why we do them.
You reach a wall and you can't see beyond.
And we've reached that point, have we? Well, you [SCOFFS.]
You choose a fine time to tell me.
Well, in a sense, I don't think we'll ever reach that point.
I just I never want to leave you, I may have to.
Well, we all have to learn how to die.
Yes.
Yes.
Poor Natalia.
- She - I meant us, Grishenka.
[SERVANTS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY.]
Well, I have to go.
You can come if you want.
PAUL: [SOBBING.]
It's a judgment of God.
- PANIN: Your Excellency - [SNIFFLES.]
I'm being punished.
- I'm a bad person.
- You mustn't A mother punishes her husband, and her son punishes his mother for what he thinks that she did to his his father, and and then the curse goes down the family, and misery gets passed on [SNIFFLES.]
from generation to generation.
I have been speaking to the doctors, Your Excellency.
You may see the body of your son, should you so wish.
My son.
My son.
How I longed for this child.
And yet it's not a child.
'Cause he's not here.
He didn't even draw breath.
PAUL: My son.
There is so little time.
Let us at least try to love one another.
[STIFLING SOBS.]
I'll try.
Yes.
[CATHERINE SIGHS.]
Love is so important.
Don't you agree? POTEMKIN: Mm.
But so difficult to sustain.
CATHERINE: "And so, to the question of alliances," and put that in italics.
All of it, Your Majesty? No, not all of it, or indeed all of it.
Uh, "alliances" is the bit she wants in italics.
Alliances.
It's the way she says it.
You can tell when she's speaking in italics? That is extraordinary.
Yes, well, it's, uh it's very important to be sensitive to the nuances of her voice.
You do it, Peter, and let him copy out your version.
Bezborodko, would you leave us, please? Peter, you stay.
Stay.
You were speaking in italics, Your Majesty.
I spotted it.
No, I'm afraid I wasn't.
So, where do I think Russia should be in the world? What do the people want us to be? Are we going to continue to defer to the Europeans, or move south towards the Crimea?" That's rather good, isn't it? I wonder who wrote it.
- Why, you did, Your Majesty.
- [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
POTEMKIN: Well, perhaps I can help re-write it.
Peter, leave us.
Oh, please.
ZAVADOVSKY: Your Majesty.
How is your secretary? I'm sorry, which one? [POTEMKIN LAUGHS.]
The good-looking one.
Peter.
Hm? Oh.
Hm.
Yeah, you trust him, do you? CATHERINE: Mm.
For God's sake, we can't go on like this.
- Like what? - Like this! This is a You have infinite choice and I've got none.
I have power! Yes, it may look as if I can simply do as I please, but Look, you know it isn't like that.
You don't need to crawl on your hands and knees to Panin and his unstoppable desire to suck the German cock.
Well, you haven't read the rest - of what I've written, have you? - I don't need to hear the rest - of the thing, do I? Oh, please.
- Well, you just listen! Listen! Please, indulge me.
Here, I will hear the rest of the thing.
Come on, yes.
"The Muslim tribes in the Crimea and in the whole of the area to the north are utterly divided and have no love for the Turks.
It is possible we could bring them into the Russian Empire without the use of force.
" Might be true.
You see.
We agree, Grishenka.
I'm for expansion, I'm for empire.
I'm all for telling the Germans and the French and the English to fuck off.
I'm a Russian patriot, with a German head.
What I don't want is another war.
You think we can take the Crimea without a war? The French and the English have other worries.
The Germans will never act alone.
You would need someone to - Who could talk to the tribes.
- The tribes.
Yes.
I would be gone a long time.
We will always have each other, Grishenka.
Well Don't get too fond of that boy.
- Him? Oh, don't - No.
No.
Please.
No matter what happens to either of us, in bed or out of it, we will always have each other.
Won't we? Are you giving me permission to stray? I don't want to be given permission.
New beginnings, Matushka.
You go.
And you do what you have to do.
With my blessing.
[GASPS.]
Oh.
Oh, no.
But you write.
Will you, please, please, just write, write, write.
[CATHERINE SOBS.]
[DRILL SERGEANT YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
[HORSE WHINNIES.]
[DRILL SERGEANT YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
[SOLDIERS STOMP.]
PANIN: So, Prince Potemkin's soldiers are headed south What of it? I have to say, Your Majesty, that I am worried.
You're worried, Minister? It is noted.
What else are you worried about? The drainage system in the Ukraine? Whether or not to tax root vegetables? The price of bread in Novgorod? It's my job to worry, Minister, not yours.
Work! [CLAPS HANDS.]
Work.
That's what life is all about.
Did you wish to discuss anything else with me? I'm obviously thinking about the prince, Your Majesty.
He's suffered a blow, but, uh Well, he's getting stronger.
As you know, I'm very close to him, and, um, I was thinking I think it's time he got married again.
Where's that list? Here is a list of suitable princesses.
With respect, Your Majesty They're arranged in order of suitability.
Start with number one and work your way down to number 25.
One or two of them are German, as it happens.
Some wonderful things have come out of Germany, Your Majesty.
Yourself included.
Do it.
Go.
The boy needs to move on.
[QUILL SCRATCHING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
PAUL: I don't want to get up.
CATHERINE: It's never been easy between us, I know.
I understand that.
PAUL: You don't understand.
I met someone who actually loved me and now she's she's dead.
She's dead.
- You must eat.
- PAUL: No.
Oh, come on.
Get a grip.
- Now, I understand how you feel.
- Do you? Well, I I'm trying to.
I really am.
I don't feel you do.
[CATHERINE SIGHS.]
Your wife is dead, and your son is dead.
[PAUL SNIFFS.]
It It's time to move on.
PAUL: Where are we going? To face up to things.
No, no, no.
This is her room.
- Why have you brought me here? - I want to show you something.
No, do not touch that.
Do not touch that! That is That is her private drawer! Get out! Get out! She kept things in here she didn't want you to see.
Letters.
Letters from your best friend, Count Razumovsky, with whom she was having an affair, and who, in all probability, is the father of the dead child.
How dare you say such vile things to me? You're lying.
You're lying.
I'm telling the truth.
I'm sorry for it.
Read.
Or are you Are you too frightened? No.
One should never be frightened of facing the truth.
This is his handwriting.
Do you recognize it? [READING INDISTINCTLY.]
The bastard.
Nothing in love is forever, Paul.
Death and distance have a way of interfering.
It's not a sin to fall in love again, when the one you love is gone.
CATHERINE: My darling, where are you? I've not heard from you, and I'm worried that - No, not now.
- Your Majesty.
Does anyone know what this is? It is the Treaty of St Petersburg, - Your Majesty.
- Yes, it is.
And it led to our alliance with that nasty little man, Frederick II of Prussia, who once referred to me in private, although I hear everything, as a cunt.
But it seems we are still tied to our alliance with him.
Do either of you know why? - Foreign policy, Your Majesty? - Oh, get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! Get out! ZAVADOVSKY: Until we secure the Crimea, Your Majesty, it might be dangerous to move on.
Yes, you're quite right, Peter.
Good, good.
You've been listening to me.
Yes, move slowly.
You're quite right.
I'm so sorry I was unpleasant, I Things weigh on me sometimes.
I'm always grateful to serve, Your Majesty.
Yes, you may go.
Oh, Prince Potemkin has Prince Potemkin has been away too long.
I am sorry.
You know how much that I CATHERINE: That you? What respect I have for him.
Prince Potemkin.
Yes, he is an extraordinary man.
He is.
But he is not here.
And you are.
Yes, Your Majesty.
So rub my shoulders? [ZAVADOVSKY CLEARS THROAT.]
Lower.
[SIGHS.]
Come Come round to the front.
[CHUCKLES.]
You may do whatever it is you think I want.
[GASPS.]
Lock the door.
People are always bothering me.
You know, you are the best secretary I have ever had.
PANIN: There are one or two outstanding candidates.
This is the daughter of the Grand Duke of - Wiesbaden-Gleiwitz.
- God.
What a boot.
A marriage is a great opportunity for you, Your Excellency.
From what I hear, Potemkin is trying to convince the Crimean Tartars to join the Russian Empire, and, unsurprisingly, not having much success.
Your star will rise.
Princess Sophia of Wurtemburg.
Apparently she has good child-bearing hips.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
I'm so glad you are pleased with Princess Sophia of Wurtemburg.
She'll make Prince Paul a wonderful wife.
She is a warm and wonderful human being.
And German.
She is also German.
Please don't think this is going to make me feel more kindly towards other Germans, Panin.
Our alliance with Germany and the rest of Europe is a delicate business.
Especially if we're embarked on an adventure in the Crimea.
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
PANIN: She misses him.
Unfortunately.
What's he doing in the Crimea, exactly? No one knows.
I think he's told her he'll somehow manage to annex it, without a fight.
Which he won't.
ALEXEI: I saw Zavadovsky go upstairs by the back route to do her last night.
Oh, the back route? [CHUCKLES.]
Many, many congratulations, sir.
Well, aren't things easier without One Eye? I'm sure he'll end up killing every Tartar in Crimea.
Unless they kill him first.
CATHERINE: I have not heard from you for what seems an eternity.
I know what you're doing is dangerous, but I beg you to let me know what is happening.
[HORSES GALLOPING.]
POTEMKIN: It is true.
I am to blame for not having written you.
[SOLDIERS YELLING INDISTINCTLY.]
My most merciful lady and generous mistress.
I shall soon be able to tell you the whole story of my adventures.
It isn't finished yet, but we are close.
I swear, in the name of the one God, and the Prophet Mohammed, peace be upon him, to serve and sacrifice my life and my soul, for the Empress Catherine.
POTEMKIN: I managed somehow to persuade the entire Tartar elite to take the oath of allegiance to you.
I congratulate you upon your acquisition of the Crimea.
I can't tell you how happy and excited I am, and how I long to see you.
CATHERINE: My darling, our dreams for Russia are finally coming true.
For all this, I thank you, but I am missing you terribly.
A letter for Her Majesty.
CATHERINE: The Grand Duchess has just given birth to a son, whom I call Monsieur Alexandre.
I am besotted with this infant.
It's a pleasure to see him sprawl on his rug.
And he is beginning to show singular intelligence for a child of his age.
[BABY FUSSING.]
I can make of him what I want.
POTEMKIN: What sovereign has ever compiled such a brilliant epoch as you? The lands upon which others merely glanced, you have bound to the Russian scepter.
This new border promises Russia peace, Europe envy, and the Ottomans fear.
Take up this trophy and order your historians to prepare more paper and ink.
I will build a new city here in your honor, and a port to the open sea that we always dreamed of.
VALERIAN ZUBOV: What are you gonna call it, sir? POTEMKIN: Grigory.
No, I'm not gonna call the town Grigory.
- [ZUBOV LAUGHS.]
- You may call me Grigory, because I like you.
Christ, nobody wants to live in a town called Gregory.
The sewers would be overflowing and it'd be all brothels and bars.
[ZUBOV CHUCKLES.]
No, this will be a colossal city.
Huh? It'll live forever.
We'll have wide streets, boulevards, we'll have art and cathedrals and orchards, and music on every corner.
ZUBOV: Mozart.
Of course we'll have Mozart.
Yes.
You love her very much.
I do.
From the first moment I saw her, when I was nothing.
And it'll never change.
No, it is a an affection that refuses to be altered by circumstances.
[SIGHS.]
They call this town Akhtiar.
The White Cliffs.
But we shall call it Sebastopol.
The Imperial City.
The Empress's City.
All for the glory of Catherine.
CATHERINE: Oh, how I miss you.
Come home.
Come home to me now.
- [CHEERING.]
- [CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS.]
- CATHERINE: You did it.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
Yes I did.
[CATHERINE AND POTEMKIN CHUCKLE.]
They said you would never do it, and you did.
And you have a German daughter-in-law, just to show them what a good European you still are.
[CHUCKLES.]
Let them all think that but tonight we are celebrating you.
POTEMKIN: Mm But I must soon return.
My work in the south is just starting.
CATHERINE: Let's enjoy tonight.
There is nothing sweeter than the sounds of a party fading into the distance.
If you're walking away from it with the right person.
Huh? Mm.
I did it all for you my love.
[BABY COOING.]
POTEMKIN: She's enjoying her child.
- She's very respectful.
- Mm? She's learned Russian.
And she has good child-bearing hips.
- I hate her.
- [POTEMKIN LAUGHS.]
Of course you do.
[FIREWORKS WHISTLING.]
Go on.
Go, I'll stay here.
The sight of me might start him off.
Well, the little boy, you know I'm just I'm surprised by how much I love him, how much he means to me.
It's never the children, Matushka; it's what we do to them.
It's too late for us.
Go on, go.
Go, go, go.
Go on.
[MARIA CHUCKLES.]
[CATHERINE COOING.]
Oh, hello! Hello.
Can you see me? [POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
PAUL: Where are you taking him, Mother? [CHUCKLES.]
Oh, I'm not stealing him, darling.
[CHUCKLES.]
Maria understands, don't you? We can be friends now, can't we? - Now you've given me a son.
- Grandson.
He's your grandson.
He's my son.
[CATHERINE COOING.]
When do we get him back, Mother? In five years, when he's reached the age of reason.
That was a joke.
[CHUCKLES.]
- [BABY CRYING.]
- [CATHERINE SHUSHING.]
ZAVADOVSKY: So, what about the Turks? Are they gonna let us keep Crimea? - I somehow forgot to ask them.
- [CATHERINE LAUGHS.]
Prince Potemkin has thought all this through - very carefully, Peter.
- Of course.
Of course.
[ZAVADOVSKY SNIFFS.]
I do I do think about things, you know? [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
In politics, Peter, there are always a certain amount of unknown factors.
It's never a good idea to try and discover them.
The future will happen.
All we know is we have Crimea.
The only other issue is Where next? - [CATHERINE CHUCKLES.]
- [POTEMKIN MUMBLES.]
Is that south? We should go south? Ooh.
Yes.
Matushka.
CATHERINE: Hm? I've had an idea.
Please, not another one.
Wh Where do I belong in all of this? Please, what is my What's my purpose here? I have no idea.
Well, if you do not wish to be here, you can always leave.
[SCOFFS.]
Fine.
I will! Your trousers.
He was getting very tedious.
Yes.
[CHUCKLES.]
I want the Ministry of War.
You shall have it.
We don't need any of them anymore.
Oh.
[CATHERINE CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
Oh, look at you.
Every button in place.
[LAUGHS.]
Oh, Matushka, what about your son, the Grand Duke? From now on, Prince Paul can do as he is told.
How about a diplomatic tour? He could visit the Austrian court? Good idea.
Let's do this.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
So, first, we would like to thank Alexei Orlov for his loyal service at the Ministry of War, and his post will now be given to Prince Potemkin, in acknowledgement for his great work in the Crimea.
POTEMKIN: Bravo.
Bravo! Oh, Count Orlov, did you have something to say before you leave? No, Your Majesty.
CATHERINE: And now I want to signal a major change in our foreign policy, away from Europe, and May I - say something, Your Majesty? - Yes, please do.
- With respect - [DOOR CLOSES.]
we may have fooled a few savages into giving away the Crimea, and, in the course of time, someone else may well fool us into giving it away again, - but - We gained the Crimea.
Which makes us more powerful.
CATHERINE: And your point is? - I must say I really must - You must say? What must you say? What is your point? My point is that my foreign policy has always developed on a secure network of alliances in Europe, particularly in Germany.
And adventure in the Crimea has put those alliances in danger.
Well, what is your definition of a "secure network of alliances"? One that - A system which - CATHERINE: A system which you have devised for your own convenience.
[SCOFFS.]
There's no such thing as a secure network of alliances in politics, Minister.
You should know that after watching me work.
I - I - Yes? You had another point? [PANIN EXHALES SHARPLY.]
I really do not see how I can proceed, if you insist Well, if we are following a policy with which you disagree, there is only one course for you.
I I do not wish to resign, Your Majesty.
I know you have poisoned my son against me.
There may be nothing I can do about that now, but know this: I will never forgive you.
I do not wish to resign.
But? I I suppose I must do so.
A principled decision.
Accepted.
And we thank you for your loyal service all these years.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
[BREATHES SHAKILY.]
PAUL: I do not want to go on a state visit to the Austrian court! This [STAMMERS.]
This is a little scheme of Potemkin's, isn't it? To do with his adventures down south? Well, I'm not going! God, this man is taking control of the whole court! You will go, and you will leave my grandson with me.
I will not go! I will not! Ah, that will be your old tutor.
He's just resigned.
He will need money.
Yes? What use are you to me if you cannot help me? Mm? What use are you to anyone? [BABY CRYING.]
You know, what you need in retirement, Nikita Ivanovich, is a hobby.
I suggest you acquire one.
Soon.
Now, remember, charm at all times.
The Emperor Joseph is sparkling company, and we need his support for what we're doing - in the Crimea.
- [BABY FUSSING.]
So Don't worry, darling.
I'll take good care of him.
Just as your grandmother looked after you.
- [BABY CRYING.]
- I hardly ever saw you.
But we survived, didn't we? Hm? [CRYING CONTINUES.]
[HORSES TROTTING.]
SOLDIER: Men, move out.
- Well, back to work.
- POTEMKIN: Yes.
I will also have to leave soon, too.
Back down south, building our empire.
I don't want you to be lonely.
There's a man I would like you to meet.
Alexander Mamonov.
Perhaps he can keep you company while I'm away.
Though I will insist you visit me when the work is complete.
CATHERINE: I suppose if we can't live together, we'll have to learn how to live with others.
POTEMKIN: Mm.
But without jealousy, because jealousy is disgusting.
- It's - POTEMKIN: Mm-hm.
Pointless.
- And demeaning.
Mm.
- Demeaning, yes.
- Your Majesty.
- CATHERINE: Mm.
- It's my pleasure.
- Very nice to meet you.
[GUNSHOTS.]
[CROWD SHOUTING.]
[BELL RINGING.]
[ALEXANDER MAMONOV PANTING.]
[GRUNTS.]
MAMONOV: I'm sorry, Your Majesty.
[MAMONOV SIGHS.]
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY.]
[BELL RINGING.]
[WATER LAPPING.]
[POTEMKIN CHUCKLES.]
I wouldn't worry about it, really.
MAMONOV: I can't believe it.
[SIGHS.]
It's never happened before.
No? SOLDIER: Welcome aboard, Prince Potemkin.
POTEMKIN: Let's get this show on the road.
MAMONOV: I'm sorry.
Really.
Really, don't worry about it.
POTEMKIN: Got the weather for it eh, lads? Huh? SAILOR: Prince Potemkin.
Good to have you aboard, sir.
You're here! Well Why didn't you say? POTEMKIN: I didn't want to bother you.
[STAMPS FOOT.]
I'm here now.
I've been getting it all ready.
All ready for you.
CATHERINE: Stop it.
[CELEBRATORY MUSIC PLAYS.]
So, let's to the Crimea.
POTEMKIN: Row! ELENA: Your Majesty.
POTEMKIN: We sail down this river, we reach the Black Sea and then we show everyone a new Russia! [SIGHS.]
She's cheered up then.
Can't live with him, can't live without him.
ELENA: Your Majesty.
- CATHERINE: Thank you.
- ELENA: Prince Potemkin.
Thank you.
[GLASS SMASHES.]
I think Mamonov is fucking her.
POTEMKIN: Well, what are you going to do about that? - Fifty lashes.
- [LAUGHS.]
You are a You're a monster.
You are, you're a terrible monster.
You use people up and throw them away when you've finished with them.
Fifty lashes.
You're You're outrageous, you're terrible, Matushka.
- You're a monster.
- That's not a very nice thing to say about someone, especially someone you say you love.
Oh, but I do love you.
I'll always love you.
Even when there isn't any more me or any more you I will still love you.
Does it upset you? No, not especially.
Hmm.
But this This This is what we were meant to do.
Make Russia great.
Never had any choice in the matter.
You're the one.
You are.
It was only ever you.
Wherever you are, wherever I am.
From the first time I saw you.
Love is to do with the soul.
Me, you there.
Here.
Now.
POTEMKIN: My love - What? - POTEMKIN: Come on.
Oh.
[CHUCKLES.]
What are you doing here? There's something I want to show you.
Great.
Come on.
Give me that.
Give me that.
What do you taste? What do you taste? Salt! [LAUGHS.]
We're not on the river, we're on the sea! What do you think is around the next headland? Huh? Of course you don't know, come on! Good morning, boys! Good morning! Good morning.
Close your eyes.
Come on, come on.
Close your eyes.
Close your Don't! Come on! - Hey.
- CATHERINE: Where [CHUCKLES.]
There.
Right there.
Keep them closed.
Now.
There.
The reason we have traveled down river.
Sebastopol, Matushka.
[GASPS.]
Our window into the Black Sea.
[WHISTLE BLOWS.]
I have built you, like I promised, a Russian naval fleet.
[CANNON FIRE.]
For you, and Russia, to take our empire across the sea.
To Byzantium.
I've done all of this for you.
And only you.
This is how I love you.