Central Park (2020) s01e03 Episode Script
Hat Luncheon
1
Hi. How are you? Don't answer.
I should do the talking.
Lots of stuff going on,
so allow me and my stringy
little friend here to fill you in.
Remember when city councilman
Leo Shallenhammer voted "no",
and now they won't renew the
Park League's contract? Drama.
No.
[GASPS]
The city and the Park League
are they fighting? This is shady ♪
But Paige will crack the case
'cause she's a journalism lady ♪
The end. Just kidding, there's more.
Even though the city's
being a little dysfunctional ♪
The Park League is still putting
on their annual hat luncheon-al ♪
They pitch a huge white
tent and it's all a big to-do ♪
Rich people in crazy hats
that's white people for you ♪
The end. Eh, just kidding.
There's a little more.
The luncheon I just mentioned
it has a keynote speaker ♪
To celebrate the retirement
of one of the groundskeepers ♪
It's kind of a big deal
the mayor's gonna be there ♪
But the keynote speaker's Owen
and speeching is his nightmare ♪
Owen's kinda cute when he's nervous,
but yeah, this is hell for him.
Okay, I think that's it. Oh!
And the water's off in the castle ♪
Everyone in there smells
pretty weird right now ♪
- Go, go, go!
- [PAIGE] Did you call the plumber?
Yeah, I called him.
Oh, well. No one promised us
running water when you took this job.
That's right. No one
mentioned it at all,
but we dared to dream.
Okay, Leo Shallenhammer,
where are you and why did you
vote against the Park League?
I mean, it makes no sense.
It's turning down free money.
Who turns down free money?
It happens. A tourist once offered me $5
to put a tiny vest on a squirrel,
- but wasn't the right vest.
- [PAIGE] Why? Color?
- Too many buttons.
- Tourists.
But, I mean, hopefully the stuff
between the Park League and the city
will just work itself out,
he said, not at all terrified.
Nuh-uh. Something weird's
going on. I can smell it.
It's probably me, 'cause a shower
doesn't work at all without water.
B-T-dub, flushing is also tricky.
I'm gonna need a long serving fork,
some gloves, and your prayers.
Oh, speaking of turds
that just lay there,
how's your speech going, Dad?
Sorry. I'm dirty and grumpy.
The speech he's giving
is about Merle Fowler,
who's retiring after 47 years.
Owen is presenting him
with the Golden Rake,
the highest honor possible
in the groundskeeping game.
You can use it as an actual
rake, but it is frowned upon.
It's not going good,
Molly. Thank you for asking.
Not going good at all. I
hate speeches. So bad at this.
What? No.
"You may say this is just
another tennis court".
Son of a bitch. Grab those cards!
"So, when workers cut through this rock,
which is called Manhattan schist,
they cut through it
using boring machines".
- He's a boring machine.
- [BOY GIGGLES]
"And because there
were no labor unions"
- He's a labor union.
- [GIGGLES]
What's funny about that?
- He's funny about that.
- [GIGGLES]
You just haven't had a good audience.
Are they gonna have fancy ice cream
at the hat luncheon again this year?
The hat luncheon has good ice cream.
Really good ice cream. So good
I don't know. Probably.
Describe it to me, in detail.
- I'm assuming it'll be cold and creamy.
- Yes.
Hey, kids, help your mom out.
I wanna try and find a
guy using social media.
Aw. You and Dad couldn't make it work?
No, I'm trying to stalk
this city councilman.
He's been dodging me all week.
So I'm thinking if I
show up wherever he is
on an easy-breezy Saturday morning,
start chatting Boom! I get a quote.
What's his name and how old is he?
Leo Shallenhammer,
and he's about my age.
[TOGETHER] Facebook.
Yes! That's my Leo.
Getting a schvitz at Seoulshevik's Spa.
He just posted that.
A Korean-Russian spa?
Yeah, they have communal baths,
they hit you with branches
You know what? I'm gonna
go down there right now.
I'm gonna have a
schvitz and get a quote.
- Is a schvitz like a shower?
- Eh, schvort of.
- Then I'm going too.
- You kids have fun.
[SNIFFS] When's the last
time you had a shower?
- When did we lose water?
- 7:00 this morning.
- A week ago.
- You're going.
Great. We're gonna have a schvitz,
I'm gonna use my wits.
- And Cole's gonna wash his tits.
- Whoo!
- They get a shower, I get a scoop.
- And I get to flush my poop.
Okay, we should stop rhyming.
You sure you're okay taking
the kids while you're working?
Uh, yeah. All the best journalists
take their kids on assignment.
[SIGHS] I wish I had your confidence.
Can we switch bodies?
You do the hat luncheon speech
and I be the hot lady reporter?
Honey, remember, don't
think about failure.
Think about the future,
when you finish the speech
and everyone's clapping
because you did great.
Kids, grab your bathing
suits, your MetroCards,
- and a positive attitude.
- Yay!
Come on, kids, here we go
there's a lead to pursue ♪
And your mama needs a comment
and she's gonna come through ♪
Mom, we're really proud of you
you're hot on the chase ♪
But check your fly ♪
What is that on your face? ♪
I'll get the truth, 'cause
I'm a sleuth come on and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Sorry if I spit on you
your mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this, Mama's got this ♪
This journalist just can't resist ♪
Your mama's got this ♪
Life gives you lemons
so you take 'em in stride ♪
If you get the lemons talking
there's a story inside ♪
Your metaphors are messy
but you're still the top ♪
Now, back on the train
'cause this isn't our stop ♪
Be aware, we're almost there
so wait and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Oops, forgot deodorant.
We think our mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this, Mama's got this ♪
Mom's looking like a boss ♪
Did she roll around in sauce? ♪
Here's Mama ♪
Mama's got this ♪
I'm alive and very sticky ♪
Is Mom speaking Polish? ♪
I'm alive and very sticky ♪
She's definitely trying to.
Okeydoke.
One great quote about the vote ♪
I'm on my way ♪
Sing it!
[IN POLISH] That lady is
sticky? That lady is sticky? ♪
They know it.
In the East Village I am ♪
[IN POLISH] Somehow very sticky ♪
Who is she? We all agree ♪
- This mama's got this ♪
- Hey, it's me.
Look, your mama's got this ♪
Oh, my God, look our mama's got this ♪
Watch and learn, kids 'cause
you know your mama's got this ♪
Ha! You blinked. I win
again. You suck at this.
Sorry to interrupt. Mr.
Garth is here with his hats.
Excuse me.
Ms. Brandenham, the hat luncheon
What is the look you're going for?
Let's see. I hate the
park, I hate charities,
I hate all those puffed-up
women in their stupid hats.
Basically, I need something that says,
"Contempt, but I'm here,
so check this out".
So, why is Bitsy going to the hat
luncheon if she hates it so much?
Because she's got a sneaky little plan
to drive a wedge between the
Park League and City Hall,
but I know, you wanna see
what hat she goes with.
I get it, I get it. We cut back.
Let's try on some hats. Boys.
- Helen.
- [HELEN CLEARS THROAT]
- Hat fashion show.
- That's it.
- [MAN] I call it "Windmills on Your Mind".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
It's called "Mount
Rush-Less and Enjoy the Hat".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- We call this one "Realms of Insanity".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- "Stormy Weather", AKA, push the button,
- "Raindrops Keep Falling on Your Head".
- Hmm.
The rain is collected in the brim
and pumped back into the cloud.
It was developed by NASA.
- How do I look?
- Like a dirty cotton ball.
Ah. You got me.
- Can we get lightning on this thing?
- We have people on it.
- We're two years out.
- I'll take it anyway.
Jimmy, Archie, Sal and Tom ♪
Those are the names
of moles that I have ♪
Thank you. Thank you.
I just made that up. Can you believe it?
Thank you very much. Oh Ooh!
And here comes the super
cool manager of the park ♪
Thank you, everyone.
I gotta go. I gotta go.
Hey. Index cards can
only mean one thing.
- Somebody started collecting index cards.
- Huh?
What are these? Note cards
with famous clichés on them?
What? No. I'm practicing a
speech. I have to give a speech.
Which one's a cliché?
Oh! Hey, I know.
People love it when you sing about them.
Yeah, I've seen it often.
So, when you start bombing,
and I'm not saying you will,
but assuming you bomb,
if there's a guy in the front
row with glasses, you'd sing
Who's this handsome
fossil in the goggles? ♪
Or if he's sitting with
his sister, you go
Who's this handsome
mister with his sister? ♪
- Or if he has big ears, you'd be like
- I get it. Thank you.
I'm helpful.
Who's that fast-walking bearded guy? ♪
Oh, who's just refusing to
meet my eye? It's you, sir ♪
Where you going?
[SCATS]
[PAIGE SIGHS]
I take back every bad thing
I've ever said about hot water.
Let's live here.
I should go look for Leo.
But do you guys wanna get
hit with branches real quick?
I feel like I'm running backwards
through the woods really fast.
Or like a tree is mad at me.
All right. I gotta go. Uh, beat them.
Kids, stay here. I'm
gonna go get my quote.
Yep. Perfect place to leave your kids.
Yes, Leo.
Ooh! Aah!
- What's in there?
- Little fish.
- Why?
- To eat the dead skin.
- What did they do to deserve that?
- They like it.
Leo, I'm Paige Hunter from
What's New, New York?
Paige Hunter? The one who's
been calling me all week?
Yeah. Sorry to bother you on your
day off. Just a couple of questions.
Wait, are you doing that thing
where a reporter interviews someone
in a comfortable place
to get them to talk?
No, no, no, no. I just
happened to Aah! Ooh.
Sorry, that's really a weird sensation.
Okay, why did you vote "no" to
re-ratify the Park League's contract?
Because the mayor told me to.
[GASPS] The mayor of the city,
Mayor Whitney Whitebottom? Yeah.
What? That came from the mayor?
Yeah, but that's off the record.
You can't say aah!
something and then
say it's off the record.
Yes, I can. That's definitely a thing.
No, it's not.
- It's a thing. I'm a lawyer. It's a thing.
- Aah!
In a steam room you could argue that
the source was in an altered state.
Oh, what? Because of the fish?
Yes, because of the fish.
I've been doing fish-i-pedis for years
and I always leave drowsy
and more open emotionally.
Yeah, what he said.
Why don't you leave me alone
and go ask the mayor questions
wherever it is he goes for
his grooming and self-care?
Oh! I can corner the mayor
at the hat luncheon tomorrow.
That's where I'll get my quote.
Oh, my God. I stepped on one.
- What?
- He's fine. He's fine. He's totally fine.
You can see that
Mama's got this yeah ♪
Mama's got this ♪
Like fishies in a foot spa
you know your mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this Mama's got this ♪
Ooh, are those free samples?
- Ooh, lotion.
- Grease me up.
Please just leave ♪
This is what it feels like
you know your mama's got this ♪
Honey, looking good.
Is someone finally over his nerves?
Not quite. I changed shirts three times.
Oh. Um
Well, better stick with this one.
I think you only own five shirts.
No reason to punish all of them, right?
Hey. You are going to nail this.
Thanks for getting me into
the luncheon, by the way.
You're welcome. You're not gonna
make a big scene though, are you?
Nope. I'm just gonna
sidle up to the mayor,
ask him a couple of questions,
get my quote and get out.
Oh, you mean ask the mayor why
he wants to defund the park?
Sure. Totally fine.
Not terrifying at all.
You know what? Don't
even think about that.
If everyone's jittery, then
you show 'em confidence.
Just look out at
those little old ladies,
make eye contact and smile.
Be a rock in the storm.
That's not I don't
think that's an expression.
Honey, we're both gonna be
storm rocks at this luncheon.
- Storm rocks.
- Oh, yeah.
We're two serious people doing
our serious jobs in a serious way.
- We finished making your crazy hat, Mom.
- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
Let's friggin' luncheon.
[GRUNTS] Good crime fighting, Kite Boy.
Same to you, Fista-Puffs.
Great crime fighting.
Wanna practice
slow-motion face battling?
- Face battling? What's that?
- Oh, it's really cool. Let me show you.
- [HOWLS]
- [GASPS] Jeez.
Sorry. I thought I saw some
movement up there on the balcony.
Where are you, Shampagne?
Obsessed much?
- Oh, please.
- [SIGHS]
You're missing that kite boy, huh?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing
him again, but where is he?
I don't know how to find the guy
if he's not in his usual spot.
You should've set up a howling
system like Shampagne and I did.
- Yep. Yep.
- [GASPS] Kite!
Look, there's a thing
at the end of that string ♪
Uh-huh. Up there! Why
don't you look up there? ♪
[COUGHING] Look over there
what's that in the sky? ♪
[GASPS] Oh, my God, Brendan! Let's go.
- [PANTS]
- Phew!
Okay, where was I? Oh, yes.
Pigeon, pigeon, you're a pigeon ♪
I'm gonna teach you how to dance ♪
[IMITATES DANCE MUSIC]
Oh! I should've taught
Owen how to dance,
so if his speech goes badly,
he can dance.
Ah, no. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, 'kay ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, yeah ♪
When I try to give a speech I
always end up feeling foolish ♪
My tongue gets tied I
hurt my pride and more ♪
Guess it's something I could work on ♪
Like that guy helped Colin Firth on ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, yeah ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
[AUDIO SLOWS]
[NORMAL] Don't think about the
failures think about the future ♪
Think about how good it will feel ♪
How it's really no
big deal we got this ♪
Remember to smile remember to smile ♪
Remember to smile how's this? ♪
Remember to make eye
contact eye contact ♪
Eye contact, smile eye
contact, smile, yeah ♪
All my prep and my research will ♪
Make me seem like Winston Churchill ♪
Remember to smile, remember
to breathe remember to not suck ♪
When I try to give a speech ♪
Hi. Hi.
You look fabulous. Who are you wearing?
Ah, uh, I'm not sure.
Union Pacific? What's yours?
Highlights from the
first season of The Crown.
Oh, excuse me.
Hi, there. I'm with
What's New, New York?
and I'd love to grab Mayor
Whitebottom for a couple of questions.
Sorry, not today. Call the
communications director.
- Okay. Who is that?
- Me, but I'm busy. Call me later.
- But [GROANS]
- Shoo. Nice hat, but shoo.
Get me something from
the bar. No, get me two.
Two somethings?
You're right. Three somethings,
and get me, like, 50 shrimp.
[BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
[THINKING] It'll all be worth
it. It'll all be worth it
The mayor's acting weird.
There's trouble brewing.
What? Oh.
No, everything's probably fine.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Oh, here he comes now.
Hi, Mr. Mayor. So glad you
could make it. I hope we can
Nothing. Nothing. He
didn't even slow down.
Handsome bastard.
Something's going down today.
What? No, no, no. Nothing's
going down. [GASPS]
Oh, my gosh. How the
heck did that happen?
It looks like you peed.
Well, I don't pee out of my knees.
- Looks like you do.
- Nobody pees out of their knees.
I've peed on my knees.
Love the Park League. Love
everything you people do.
It's weird the city froze
the contract, isn't it?
- It's a slap in the face is what it is.
- Excuse me.
He's gotta go change his
pants because of the knee pee.
It's not knee pee. I've
got a speech to prepare for.
A speech? About what? Sad pant stains?
- I nailed him.
- [OWEN] No, you didn't.
[PANTING]
- Wait!
- What?
We We can't do this.
I can't just run up to
Brendan panting like this.
Why? It makes you seem healthy.
Except for that face you're making
and whatever's happening here.
[INTERRUPTS] He'll
know I'm stalking him.
I feel like people don't like that.
Okay, well, then let's get ahead of him,
turn around and pretend
to casually bump into him.
Ooh! That's actually a good idea.
You didn't need to say "actually".
- Sorry. "Shockingly"?
- Forget it. Just follow me.
[PANTING]
- Oh, hey. Brendan, right?
- Oh, hi.
- Molly.
- Molly. Yeah, I remember.
The drawer-er-ist. Person who draws.
- "Drawer-ist"?
- Yep. [CHUCKLES]
What's going on? Are you okay?
Did you fall off of something?
Oh, no.
My brother and I were just, um,
having a We were having a stroll.
But we're not good at
it, so we trip a lot.
- Hey, I'm Brendan.
- Cole. Good name.
- Cole is?
- No, Brendan. I mean, both are.
- My kite's name is Ribsy.
- Oh, TMI.
- Ice cream.
- Huh?
I mean, my brother and I were gonna
go get some ice cream, the food.
We could eat it. Together.
Or apart. Both work for me.
I guess maybe we could try
eating ice cream together.
I mean, we've done it the other
way, so we know what that's like.
Right. So, that box is checked.
Yeah. Strike that off the list.
Put that in the basket.
- Good conversation.
- I wanna get ice cream.
- Even after all that?
- If you let me see your sketchbook.
Oh. Um, maybe. After.
After we get ice cream.
- Okay. There's a cart just over there.
- [INTERRUPTS]
If I may, most days cart
ice cream would be fine.
But we know where we
can get free ice cream.
Free rich people ice cream made
from rich cows and gold, I think.
It's true, but we do
have to sneak in, kinda.
It's a big fancy lunch.
Hats are involved.
- Let's do it!
- [TOGETHER] Whoa.
Sorry. It just sounded
really fun and I got excited.
- Whoo! Hah! I'm pumped.
- I like him.
- It's actually this way, buddy.
- Okay. [PANTS]
While the kids make their way
towards that creamy, creamy,
oh, so dreamy ice cream,
Bitsy's busy trying to make things
between the Park
League and the city people
even more rocky road.
I can't believe what the mayor's people
are saying about the Park League.
Did you hear what the Park League
people are saying about the city?
- I heard that they called you a butthole.
- Oh.
Hmm.
Pardon me for a moment.
Last time I saw you, you were
emptying a bedpan off a balcony.
[MAN] Hey!
Yep. I was a maid and now
I've got it made. Sorry.
Did you inherit everything?
- Everything.
- How many years was it?
I worked myself sick for 28 years.
How'd you do it? How'd
you make it through?
Oh, all I had to do was
forget I was a person.
- Mmm.
- You still working for Bitsy Brandenham?
You better believe it. I think
we're in the home stretch.
[BITSY] Helen, where'd you
go? I need you to burp me.
- [GROANS]
- Good for you.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- Just make sure you're in the will.
- [BITSY] Helen!
Look at these people.
I'm really stirring it up.
Nobody stirs it up like me.
Did I tell you I stirred it up?
Maybe we should switch to coffee.
Whatever. But put something
fun in it though, will you?
Like a drink and a cupcake.
Excellent to see you. How are you?
[WOMAN] not doing a great job,
can tell you that. It's
just trees, water
What? Are Bitsy and the mayor flirting?
Yes, with corruption.
Shh.
- Shh.
- Shh.
Fancy people in there.
Fancy ice cream in here.
[IMITATES CHOIR HIGH NOTE]
- [MICROPHONE: FEEDBACK SQUEAL]
- Oh, here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, today we
honor a very special person
Why didn't they ratify the contract?
Yeah. Why didn't they
ratify the contract?
who has worked in the park so long.
- [BITSY] It's an insult.
- [CROWD CHATTERING]
Has worked in the park so
long, he knows all the dirt.
Pause for laughter. Oh.
Excuse me. [STAMMERS] What's going on?
Why'd you freeze our contract?
Why do you have a contract that
got frozen? See? It works both ways.
That doesn't make sense.
[BITSY] Fight, fight, fight.
Who said that? Fight.
Ooh, feels just like high noon ♪
Yeah we're sick of you tycoons ♪
Uh, you're all gonna die soon ♪
- Ageist!
- Well, here comes the typhoon ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is all of ours ♪
Mayor thinking that you own the town ♪
Well, you're wearing
dioramas like a crown ♪
You're killing tradition
for your dividends ♪
- You reek of entitlement ♪
- It's the Depends ♪
Colonizers! ♪
Colonizers! ♪
I'm not sure either of
you have a right to
- We were here first ♪
- That's problematic.
- How? ♪
- Bureaucrats! ♪
- Dilettantes! ♪
- Get the caskets for these geriatrics ♪
- You can't hack it! ♪
- I heard he's flaccid ♪
Oh, come on. One in four men
How dare you bring up
his erectile dysfunction ♪
Screw this whole luncheon
let's wreck this whole function! ♪
Get to chuckin', toss the
turducken chew on this mutton! ♪
Ah, you're all bluffin' ♪
[MAN] Cake to the face! ♪
- [GRUNTING]
- [WOMAN] Werther's these perverts ♪
- [GRUNTING]
- Launch the sherbet ♪
- They got Herbert! ♪
- Murder! ♪
Why would you kill a
party that we loved? ♪
You white-collar
kleptocratic golfing thugs ♪
High on your power ♪
- It's prescription drugs ♪
- It's legal ♪
- Corporate puppets ♪
- Oh!
Kick the bucket ♪
- Fight!
- [FEMALE SINGER] Whoa ♪
Look out for the train! ♪
Whoa ♪
I'm pulling the cane! ♪
Whoa ♪
- I'm bringing the rain ♪
- Bringing the rain? ♪
Bringing the rain bringing the rain ♪
This is insane! People, please.
Oh, honey, duck.
[MOLLY] Oof! Dad's speech went
over worse than I thought it would.
- Aunt Bitsy?
- What was that?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
[WHITEBOTTOM PANTS]
- God, what do you want?
- Just a couple of questions.
I'm not doing an interview now.
I'm trying not to get killed.
And I just got this haircut.
- [WHIMPERS]
- I just need one quote.
Are you personally involved
with the tabling of the
Park League contract?
No comment. Go away.
Did you tell Leo
Shallenhammer to vote "no"?
Stop bothering me. I'm claustrophobic.
This is a new suit. Fighting is scary.
Have you seen the nails on these women?
Give me a quote and
I'll get you out of here.
I know the park and I know
the table setup in here.
- Talk!
- Aah! Fine.
You told Leo to vote "no".
Why ruin the relationship between
the Park League and the city?
We think we can do
better. [BURPS] Sorry.
What does that mean? Who's "we"?
- You got your quote, get me out of here.
- Okay.
- [PAIGE] Come on. Come on. Come on!
- [WHITEBOTTOM] I'm coming, I'm coming.
Ow! Don't pull me!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Get in there and start pedaling.
[GRUNTING]
Hey, hey! Hey! Fifteen bucks!
It's on me. It's on me.
- That guy looks like the mayor.
- Who? Him? No. Jeez.
Hard to watch though, huh?
Oh, the park is mine ♪
The park is mine ♪
The park is mine ♪
The park is mi ♪
I lost the mayor. Don't tell anybody.
Want me to throw those away?
This was fun. Not me taking
your cups, just in general.
Oh, my God. He had fun.
This is like a date. Is this a date?
You had ice cream, there
was a show, he had fun.
- Yeah, it's a date.
- There's kissing at the end of a date.
Between you two, right?
I'm not involved, am I?
Let's say no. Bye-bye.
- Where's Cole?
- He had a meeting.
- Hmm. Strange.
- Nope, normal. Normal thing to say.
Okay. Hey, a deal's a deal. You
have to show me your sketchbook.
Oh, yeah.
Um
- There.
- Okay.
Like a flip-book but if you
don't really see any of it.
- Yep.
- Well, I hope I see you again.
Me too. When I see you again.
Which I hope I do. Like
you mentioned. You get it.
- Can I get your phone number?
- Oh, yeah.
- Should I keep this?
- Put your number in.
[LAUGHS] Joking. I can do that.
Also, oh, my God, this.
- Whoa. I never kissed anyone before.
- Me neither.
- My lips feel funny.
- Mine too.
Actually, my whole face feels funny.
Oh, wow. Were your lips always
getting more and more swollen?
- What kind of ice cream did you eat?
- Peanut butter parfait. Why?
I'm allergic to peanuts!
- Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, no!
- [SHOUTING, INDISTINCT]
What do I do? Oh, here, let me help.
- Let me help you.
- Give me my EpiPen.
[GROANS]
[MUMBLING]
Hey.
- Uh-huh?
- [SIGHS]
In conclusion, let me just say,
thank you, Merle Fowler, for everything.
[APPLAUSE]
Wow, Owen. Was that maybe
your best speech ever?
I think it was. People just need
to be tired from fighting, I guess.
- Did you get the quote?
- I got it.
- You want some ice cream?
- I do.
Did you hear me ad-lib that part
about the guy with the glasses?
I did.
Ad-lib about the guy
with the Oh, my God.
He took my advice. He took my advice!
I mean, good for him, but
I mean [GASPS] me! Anyway.
[PAIGE] Life gives you lemons
so you take 'em in stride ♪
If you get the lemons talking
there's a story inside ♪
[MOLLY AND COLE] Your metaphors
are messy but you're still the top ♪
Now, back on the train
'cause this isn't our stop ♪
[PAIGE] Be aware, we're
almost there so wait and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Oops, forgot deodorant.
[MOLLY AND COLE] We
think our mama's got this ♪
[PAIGE] Mama's got this,
Mama's got this ♪
[COLE] Mom's looking like a boss ♪
[MOLLY] Did she
roll around in sauce? ♪
[PAIGE] Here's Mama ♪
Mama's got this ♪
[PAIGE SINGS IN POLISH]
[MOLLY] Is Mom speaking Polish? ♪
[PAIGE SINGS IN POLISH]
[COLE] She's definitely trying to.
[MOLLY] Okeydoke.
[PAIGE] One great
quote about the vote ♪
I'm on my way ♪
- Sing it!
- [MALE CHOIR SINGS IN POLISH]
Hi. How are you? Don't answer.
I should do the talking.
Lots of stuff going on,
so allow me and my stringy
little friend here to fill you in.
Remember when city councilman
Leo Shallenhammer voted "no",
and now they won't renew the
Park League's contract? Drama.
No.
[GASPS]
The city and the Park League
are they fighting? This is shady ♪
But Paige will crack the case
'cause she's a journalism lady ♪
The end. Just kidding, there's more.
Even though the city's
being a little dysfunctional ♪
The Park League is still putting
on their annual hat luncheon-al ♪
They pitch a huge white
tent and it's all a big to-do ♪
Rich people in crazy hats
that's white people for you ♪
The end. Eh, just kidding.
There's a little more.
The luncheon I just mentioned
it has a keynote speaker ♪
To celebrate the retirement
of one of the groundskeepers ♪
It's kind of a big deal
the mayor's gonna be there ♪
But the keynote speaker's Owen
and speeching is his nightmare ♪
Owen's kinda cute when he's nervous,
but yeah, this is hell for him.
Okay, I think that's it. Oh!
And the water's off in the castle ♪
Everyone in there smells
pretty weird right now ♪
- Go, go, go!
- [PAIGE] Did you call the plumber?
Yeah, I called him.
Oh, well. No one promised us
running water when you took this job.
That's right. No one
mentioned it at all,
but we dared to dream.
Okay, Leo Shallenhammer,
where are you and why did you
vote against the Park League?
I mean, it makes no sense.
It's turning down free money.
Who turns down free money?
It happens. A tourist once offered me $5
to put a tiny vest on a squirrel,
- but wasn't the right vest.
- [PAIGE] Why? Color?
- Too many buttons.
- Tourists.
But, I mean, hopefully the stuff
between the Park League and the city
will just work itself out,
he said, not at all terrified.
Nuh-uh. Something weird's
going on. I can smell it.
It's probably me, 'cause a shower
doesn't work at all without water.
B-T-dub, flushing is also tricky.
I'm gonna need a long serving fork,
some gloves, and your prayers.
Oh, speaking of turds
that just lay there,
how's your speech going, Dad?
Sorry. I'm dirty and grumpy.
The speech he's giving
is about Merle Fowler,
who's retiring after 47 years.
Owen is presenting him
with the Golden Rake,
the highest honor possible
in the groundskeeping game.
You can use it as an actual
rake, but it is frowned upon.
It's not going good,
Molly. Thank you for asking.
Not going good at all. I
hate speeches. So bad at this.
What? No.
"You may say this is just
another tennis court".
Son of a bitch. Grab those cards!
"So, when workers cut through this rock,
which is called Manhattan schist,
they cut through it
using boring machines".
- He's a boring machine.
- [BOY GIGGLES]
"And because there
were no labor unions"
- He's a labor union.
- [GIGGLES]
What's funny about that?
- He's funny about that.
- [GIGGLES]
You just haven't had a good audience.
Are they gonna have fancy ice cream
at the hat luncheon again this year?
The hat luncheon has good ice cream.
Really good ice cream. So good
I don't know. Probably.
Describe it to me, in detail.
- I'm assuming it'll be cold and creamy.
- Yes.
Hey, kids, help your mom out.
I wanna try and find a
guy using social media.
Aw. You and Dad couldn't make it work?
No, I'm trying to stalk
this city councilman.
He's been dodging me all week.
So I'm thinking if I
show up wherever he is
on an easy-breezy Saturday morning,
start chatting Boom! I get a quote.
What's his name and how old is he?
Leo Shallenhammer,
and he's about my age.
[TOGETHER] Facebook.
Yes! That's my Leo.
Getting a schvitz at Seoulshevik's Spa.
He just posted that.
A Korean-Russian spa?
Yeah, they have communal baths,
they hit you with branches
You know what? I'm gonna
go down there right now.
I'm gonna have a
schvitz and get a quote.
- Is a schvitz like a shower?
- Eh, schvort of.
- Then I'm going too.
- You kids have fun.
[SNIFFS] When's the last
time you had a shower?
- When did we lose water?
- 7:00 this morning.
- A week ago.
- You're going.
Great. We're gonna have a schvitz,
I'm gonna use my wits.
- And Cole's gonna wash his tits.
- Whoo!
- They get a shower, I get a scoop.
- And I get to flush my poop.
Okay, we should stop rhyming.
You sure you're okay taking
the kids while you're working?
Uh, yeah. All the best journalists
take their kids on assignment.
[SIGHS] I wish I had your confidence.
Can we switch bodies?
You do the hat luncheon speech
and I be the hot lady reporter?
Honey, remember, don't
think about failure.
Think about the future,
when you finish the speech
and everyone's clapping
because you did great.
Kids, grab your bathing
suits, your MetroCards,
- and a positive attitude.
- Yay!
Come on, kids, here we go
there's a lead to pursue ♪
And your mama needs a comment
and she's gonna come through ♪
Mom, we're really proud of you
you're hot on the chase ♪
But check your fly ♪
What is that on your face? ♪
I'll get the truth, 'cause
I'm a sleuth come on and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Sorry if I spit on you
your mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this, Mama's got this ♪
This journalist just can't resist ♪
Your mama's got this ♪
Life gives you lemons
so you take 'em in stride ♪
If you get the lemons talking
there's a story inside ♪
Your metaphors are messy
but you're still the top ♪
Now, back on the train
'cause this isn't our stop ♪
Be aware, we're almost there
so wait and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Oops, forgot deodorant.
We think our mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this, Mama's got this ♪
Mom's looking like a boss ♪
Did she roll around in sauce? ♪
Here's Mama ♪
Mama's got this ♪
I'm alive and very sticky ♪
Is Mom speaking Polish? ♪
I'm alive and very sticky ♪
She's definitely trying to.
Okeydoke.
One great quote about the vote ♪
I'm on my way ♪
Sing it!
[IN POLISH] That lady is
sticky? That lady is sticky? ♪
They know it.
In the East Village I am ♪
[IN POLISH] Somehow very sticky ♪
Who is she? We all agree ♪
- This mama's got this ♪
- Hey, it's me.
Look, your mama's got this ♪
Oh, my God, look our mama's got this ♪
Watch and learn, kids 'cause
you know your mama's got this ♪
Ha! You blinked. I win
again. You suck at this.
Sorry to interrupt. Mr.
Garth is here with his hats.
Excuse me.
Ms. Brandenham, the hat luncheon
What is the look you're going for?
Let's see. I hate the
park, I hate charities,
I hate all those puffed-up
women in their stupid hats.
Basically, I need something that says,
"Contempt, but I'm here,
so check this out".
So, why is Bitsy going to the hat
luncheon if she hates it so much?
Because she's got a sneaky little plan
to drive a wedge between the
Park League and City Hall,
but I know, you wanna see
what hat she goes with.
I get it, I get it. We cut back.
Let's try on some hats. Boys.
- Helen.
- [HELEN CLEARS THROAT]
- Hat fashion show.
- That's it.
- [MAN] I call it "Windmills on Your Mind".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
It's called "Mount
Rush-Less and Enjoy the Hat".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- We call this one "Realms of Insanity".
- [BLOWS RASPBERRY]
- "Stormy Weather", AKA, push the button,
- "Raindrops Keep Falling on Your Head".
- Hmm.
The rain is collected in the brim
and pumped back into the cloud.
It was developed by NASA.
- How do I look?
- Like a dirty cotton ball.
Ah. You got me.
- Can we get lightning on this thing?
- We have people on it.
- We're two years out.
- I'll take it anyway.
Jimmy, Archie, Sal and Tom ♪
Those are the names
of moles that I have ♪
Thank you. Thank you.
I just made that up. Can you believe it?
Thank you very much. Oh Ooh!
And here comes the super
cool manager of the park ♪
Thank you, everyone.
I gotta go. I gotta go.
Hey. Index cards can
only mean one thing.
- Somebody started collecting index cards.
- Huh?
What are these? Note cards
with famous clichés on them?
What? No. I'm practicing a
speech. I have to give a speech.
Which one's a cliché?
Oh! Hey, I know.
People love it when you sing about them.
Yeah, I've seen it often.
So, when you start bombing,
and I'm not saying you will,
but assuming you bomb,
if there's a guy in the front
row with glasses, you'd sing
Who's this handsome
fossil in the goggles? ♪
Or if he's sitting with
his sister, you go
Who's this handsome
mister with his sister? ♪
- Or if he has big ears, you'd be like
- I get it. Thank you.
I'm helpful.
Who's that fast-walking bearded guy? ♪
Oh, who's just refusing to
meet my eye? It's you, sir ♪
Where you going?
[SCATS]
[PAIGE SIGHS]
I take back every bad thing
I've ever said about hot water.
Let's live here.
I should go look for Leo.
But do you guys wanna get
hit with branches real quick?
I feel like I'm running backwards
through the woods really fast.
Or like a tree is mad at me.
All right. I gotta go. Uh, beat them.
Kids, stay here. I'm
gonna go get my quote.
Yep. Perfect place to leave your kids.
Yes, Leo.
Ooh! Aah!
- What's in there?
- Little fish.
- Why?
- To eat the dead skin.
- What did they do to deserve that?
- They like it.
Leo, I'm Paige Hunter from
What's New, New York?
Paige Hunter? The one who's
been calling me all week?
Yeah. Sorry to bother you on your
day off. Just a couple of questions.
Wait, are you doing that thing
where a reporter interviews someone
in a comfortable place
to get them to talk?
No, no, no, no. I just
happened to Aah! Ooh.
Sorry, that's really a weird sensation.
Okay, why did you vote "no" to
re-ratify the Park League's contract?
Because the mayor told me to.
[GASPS] The mayor of the city,
Mayor Whitney Whitebottom? Yeah.
What? That came from the mayor?
Yeah, but that's off the record.
You can't say aah!
something and then
say it's off the record.
Yes, I can. That's definitely a thing.
No, it's not.
- It's a thing. I'm a lawyer. It's a thing.
- Aah!
In a steam room you could argue that
the source was in an altered state.
Oh, what? Because of the fish?
Yes, because of the fish.
I've been doing fish-i-pedis for years
and I always leave drowsy
and more open emotionally.
Yeah, what he said.
Why don't you leave me alone
and go ask the mayor questions
wherever it is he goes for
his grooming and self-care?
Oh! I can corner the mayor
at the hat luncheon tomorrow.
That's where I'll get my quote.
Oh, my God. I stepped on one.
- What?
- He's fine. He's fine. He's totally fine.
You can see that
Mama's got this yeah ♪
Mama's got this ♪
Like fishies in a foot spa
you know your mama's got this ♪
Mama's got this Mama's got this ♪
Ooh, are those free samples?
- Ooh, lotion.
- Grease me up.
Please just leave ♪
This is what it feels like
you know your mama's got this ♪
Honey, looking good.
Is someone finally over his nerves?
Not quite. I changed shirts three times.
Oh. Um
Well, better stick with this one.
I think you only own five shirts.
No reason to punish all of them, right?
Hey. You are going to nail this.
Thanks for getting me into
the luncheon, by the way.
You're welcome. You're not gonna
make a big scene though, are you?
Nope. I'm just gonna
sidle up to the mayor,
ask him a couple of questions,
get my quote and get out.
Oh, you mean ask the mayor why
he wants to defund the park?
Sure. Totally fine.
Not terrifying at all.
You know what? Don't
even think about that.
If everyone's jittery, then
you show 'em confidence.
Just look out at
those little old ladies,
make eye contact and smile.
Be a rock in the storm.
That's not I don't
think that's an expression.
Honey, we're both gonna be
storm rocks at this luncheon.
- Storm rocks.
- Oh, yeah.
We're two serious people doing
our serious jobs in a serious way.
- We finished making your crazy hat, Mom.
- [TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS]
Let's friggin' luncheon.
[GRUNTS] Good crime fighting, Kite Boy.
Same to you, Fista-Puffs.
Great crime fighting.
Wanna practice
slow-motion face battling?
- Face battling? What's that?
- Oh, it's really cool. Let me show you.
- [HOWLS]
- [GASPS] Jeez.
Sorry. I thought I saw some
movement up there on the balcony.
Where are you, Shampagne?
Obsessed much?
- Oh, please.
- [SIGHS]
You're missing that kite boy, huh?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind seeing
him again, but where is he?
I don't know how to find the guy
if he's not in his usual spot.
You should've set up a howling
system like Shampagne and I did.
- Yep. Yep.
- [GASPS] Kite!
Look, there's a thing
at the end of that string ♪
Uh-huh. Up there! Why
don't you look up there? ♪
[COUGHING] Look over there
what's that in the sky? ♪
[GASPS] Oh, my God, Brendan! Let's go.
- [PANTS]
- Phew!
Okay, where was I? Oh, yes.
Pigeon, pigeon, you're a pigeon ♪
I'm gonna teach you how to dance ♪
[IMITATES DANCE MUSIC]
Oh! I should've taught
Owen how to dance,
so if his speech goes badly,
he can dance.
Ah, no. He'll be fine. He'll be fine.
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, 'kay ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, yeah ♪
When I try to give a speech I
always end up feeling foolish ♪
My tongue gets tied I
hurt my pride and more ♪
Guess it's something I could work on ♪
Like that guy helped Colin Firth on ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
Think about the future
think about the future, yeah ♪
Don't think about the failures ♪
[AUDIO SLOWS]
[NORMAL] Don't think about the
failures think about the future ♪
Think about how good it will feel ♪
How it's really no
big deal we got this ♪
Remember to smile remember to smile ♪
Remember to smile how's this? ♪
Remember to make eye
contact eye contact ♪
Eye contact, smile eye
contact, smile, yeah ♪
All my prep and my research will ♪
Make me seem like Winston Churchill ♪
Remember to smile, remember
to breathe remember to not suck ♪
When I try to give a speech ♪
Hi. Hi.
You look fabulous. Who are you wearing?
Ah, uh, I'm not sure.
Union Pacific? What's yours?
Highlights from the
first season of The Crown.
Oh, excuse me.
Hi, there. I'm with
What's New, New York?
and I'd love to grab Mayor
Whitebottom for a couple of questions.
Sorry, not today. Call the
communications director.
- Okay. Who is that?
- Me, but I'm busy. Call me later.
- But [GROANS]
- Shoo. Nice hat, but shoo.
Get me something from
the bar. No, get me two.
Two somethings?
You're right. Three somethings,
and get me, like, 50 shrimp.
[BLOWS RASPBERRIES]
[THINKING] It'll all be worth
it. It'll all be worth it
The mayor's acting weird.
There's trouble brewing.
What? Oh.
No, everything's probably fine.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Oh, here he comes now.
Hi, Mr. Mayor. So glad you
could make it. I hope we can
Nothing. Nothing. He
didn't even slow down.
Handsome bastard.
Something's going down today.
What? No, no, no. Nothing's
going down. [GASPS]
Oh, my gosh. How the
heck did that happen?
It looks like you peed.
Well, I don't pee out of my knees.
- Looks like you do.
- Nobody pees out of their knees.
I've peed on my knees.
Love the Park League. Love
everything you people do.
It's weird the city froze
the contract, isn't it?
- It's a slap in the face is what it is.
- Excuse me.
He's gotta go change his
pants because of the knee pee.
It's not knee pee. I've
got a speech to prepare for.
A speech? About what? Sad pant stains?
- I nailed him.
- [OWEN] No, you didn't.
[PANTING]
- Wait!
- What?
We We can't do this.
I can't just run up to
Brendan panting like this.
Why? It makes you seem healthy.
Except for that face you're making
and whatever's happening here.
[INTERRUPTS] He'll
know I'm stalking him.
I feel like people don't like that.
Okay, well, then let's get ahead of him,
turn around and pretend
to casually bump into him.
Ooh! That's actually a good idea.
You didn't need to say "actually".
- Sorry. "Shockingly"?
- Forget it. Just follow me.
[PANTING]
- Oh, hey. Brendan, right?
- Oh, hi.
- Molly.
- Molly. Yeah, I remember.
The drawer-er-ist. Person who draws.
- "Drawer-ist"?
- Yep. [CHUCKLES]
What's going on? Are you okay?
Did you fall off of something?
Oh, no.
My brother and I were just, um,
having a We were having a stroll.
But we're not good at
it, so we trip a lot.
- Hey, I'm Brendan.
- Cole. Good name.
- Cole is?
- No, Brendan. I mean, both are.
- My kite's name is Ribsy.
- Oh, TMI.
- Ice cream.
- Huh?
I mean, my brother and I were gonna
go get some ice cream, the food.
We could eat it. Together.
Or apart. Both work for me.
I guess maybe we could try
eating ice cream together.
I mean, we've done it the other
way, so we know what that's like.
Right. So, that box is checked.
Yeah. Strike that off the list.
Put that in the basket.
- Good conversation.
- I wanna get ice cream.
- Even after all that?
- If you let me see your sketchbook.
Oh. Um, maybe. After.
After we get ice cream.
- Okay. There's a cart just over there.
- [INTERRUPTS]
If I may, most days cart
ice cream would be fine.
But we know where we
can get free ice cream.
Free rich people ice cream made
from rich cows and gold, I think.
It's true, but we do
have to sneak in, kinda.
It's a big fancy lunch.
Hats are involved.
- Let's do it!
- [TOGETHER] Whoa.
Sorry. It just sounded
really fun and I got excited.
- Whoo! Hah! I'm pumped.
- I like him.
- It's actually this way, buddy.
- Okay. [PANTS]
While the kids make their way
towards that creamy, creamy,
oh, so dreamy ice cream,
Bitsy's busy trying to make things
between the Park
League and the city people
even more rocky road.
I can't believe what the mayor's people
are saying about the Park League.
Did you hear what the Park League
people are saying about the city?
- I heard that they called you a butthole.
- Oh.
Hmm.
Pardon me for a moment.
Last time I saw you, you were
emptying a bedpan off a balcony.
[MAN] Hey!
Yep. I was a maid and now
I've got it made. Sorry.
Did you inherit everything?
- Everything.
- How many years was it?
I worked myself sick for 28 years.
How'd you do it? How'd
you make it through?
Oh, all I had to do was
forget I was a person.
- Mmm.
- You still working for Bitsy Brandenham?
You better believe it. I think
we're in the home stretch.
[BITSY] Helen, where'd you
go? I need you to burp me.
- [GROANS]
- Good for you.
Where there's a will, there's a way.
- Just make sure you're in the will.
- [BITSY] Helen!
Look at these people.
I'm really stirring it up.
Nobody stirs it up like me.
Did I tell you I stirred it up?
Maybe we should switch to coffee.
Whatever. But put something
fun in it though, will you?
Like a drink and a cupcake.
Excellent to see you. How are you?
[WOMAN] not doing a great job,
can tell you that. It's
just trees, water
What? Are Bitsy and the mayor flirting?
Yes, with corruption.
Shh.
- Shh.
- Shh.
Fancy people in there.
Fancy ice cream in here.
[IMITATES CHOIR HIGH NOTE]
- [MICROPHONE: FEEDBACK SQUEAL]
- Oh, here we go.
Ladies and gentlemen, today we
honor a very special person
Why didn't they ratify the contract?
Yeah. Why didn't they
ratify the contract?
who has worked in the park so long.
- [BITSY] It's an insult.
- [CROWD CHATTERING]
Has worked in the park so
long, he knows all the dirt.
Pause for laughter. Oh.
Excuse me. [STAMMERS] What's going on?
Why'd you freeze our contract?
Why do you have a contract that
got frozen? See? It works both ways.
That doesn't make sense.
[BITSY] Fight, fight, fight.
Who said that? Fight.
Ooh, feels just like high noon ♪
Yeah we're sick of you tycoons ♪
Uh, you're all gonna die soon ♪
- Ageist!
- Well, here comes the typhoon ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is mine! ♪
- The park is mine ♪
- The park is all of ours ♪
Mayor thinking that you own the town ♪
Well, you're wearing
dioramas like a crown ♪
You're killing tradition
for your dividends ♪
- You reek of entitlement ♪
- It's the Depends ♪
Colonizers! ♪
Colonizers! ♪
I'm not sure either of
you have a right to
- We were here first ♪
- That's problematic.
- How? ♪
- Bureaucrats! ♪
- Dilettantes! ♪
- Get the caskets for these geriatrics ♪
- You can't hack it! ♪
- I heard he's flaccid ♪
Oh, come on. One in four men
How dare you bring up
his erectile dysfunction ♪
Screw this whole luncheon
let's wreck this whole function! ♪
Get to chuckin', toss the
turducken chew on this mutton! ♪
Ah, you're all bluffin' ♪
[MAN] Cake to the face! ♪
- [GRUNTING]
- [WOMAN] Werther's these perverts ♪
- [GRUNTING]
- Launch the sherbet ♪
- They got Herbert! ♪
- Murder! ♪
Why would you kill a
party that we loved? ♪
You white-collar
kleptocratic golfing thugs ♪
High on your power ♪
- It's prescription drugs ♪
- It's legal ♪
- Corporate puppets ♪
- Oh!
Kick the bucket ♪
- Fight!
- [FEMALE SINGER] Whoa ♪
Look out for the train! ♪
Whoa ♪
I'm pulling the cane! ♪
Whoa ♪
- I'm bringing the rain ♪
- Bringing the rain? ♪
Bringing the rain bringing the rain ♪
This is insane! People, please.
Oh, honey, duck.
[MOLLY] Oof! Dad's speech went
over worse than I thought it would.
- Aunt Bitsy?
- What was that?
Oh, nothing. Nothing.
[WHITEBOTTOM PANTS]
- God, what do you want?
- Just a couple of questions.
I'm not doing an interview now.
I'm trying not to get killed.
And I just got this haircut.
- [WHIMPERS]
- I just need one quote.
Are you personally involved
with the tabling of the
Park League contract?
No comment. Go away.
Did you tell Leo
Shallenhammer to vote "no"?
Stop bothering me. I'm claustrophobic.
This is a new suit. Fighting is scary.
Have you seen the nails on these women?
Give me a quote and
I'll get you out of here.
I know the park and I know
the table setup in here.
- Talk!
- Aah! Fine.
You told Leo to vote "no".
Why ruin the relationship between
the Park League and the city?
We think we can do
better. [BURPS] Sorry.
What does that mean? Who's "we"?
- You got your quote, get me out of here.
- Okay.
- [PAIGE] Come on. Come on. Come on!
- [WHITEBOTTOM] I'm coming, I'm coming.
Ow! Don't pull me!
[GLASS SHATTERS]
Get in there and start pedaling.
[GRUNTING]
Hey, hey! Hey! Fifteen bucks!
It's on me. It's on me.
- That guy looks like the mayor.
- Who? Him? No. Jeez.
Hard to watch though, huh?
Oh, the park is mine ♪
The park is mine ♪
The park is mine ♪
The park is mi ♪
I lost the mayor. Don't tell anybody.
Want me to throw those away?
This was fun. Not me taking
your cups, just in general.
Oh, my God. He had fun.
This is like a date. Is this a date?
You had ice cream, there
was a show, he had fun.
- Yeah, it's a date.
- There's kissing at the end of a date.
Between you two, right?
I'm not involved, am I?
Let's say no. Bye-bye.
- Where's Cole?
- He had a meeting.
- Hmm. Strange.
- Nope, normal. Normal thing to say.
Okay. Hey, a deal's a deal. You
have to show me your sketchbook.
Oh, yeah.
Um
- There.
- Okay.
Like a flip-book but if you
don't really see any of it.
- Yep.
- Well, I hope I see you again.
Me too. When I see you again.
Which I hope I do. Like
you mentioned. You get it.
- Can I get your phone number?
- Oh, yeah.
- Should I keep this?
- Put your number in.
[LAUGHS] Joking. I can do that.
Also, oh, my God, this.
- Whoa. I never kissed anyone before.
- Me neither.
- My lips feel funny.
- Mine too.
Actually, my whole face feels funny.
Oh, wow. Were your lips always
getting more and more swollen?
- What kind of ice cream did you eat?
- Peanut butter parfait. Why?
I'm allergic to peanuts!
- Oh, no. Oh, no! Oh, no!
- [SHOUTING, INDISTINCT]
What do I do? Oh, here, let me help.
- Let me help you.
- Give me my EpiPen.
[GROANS]
[MUMBLING]
Hey.
- Uh-huh?
- [SIGHS]
In conclusion, let me just say,
thank you, Merle Fowler, for everything.
[APPLAUSE]
Wow, Owen. Was that maybe
your best speech ever?
I think it was. People just need
to be tired from fighting, I guess.
- Did you get the quote?
- I got it.
- You want some ice cream?
- I do.
Did you hear me ad-lib that part
about the guy with the glasses?
I did.
Ad-lib about the guy
with the Oh, my God.
He took my advice. He took my advice!
I mean, good for him, but
I mean [GASPS] me! Anyway.
[PAIGE] Life gives you lemons
so you take 'em in stride ♪
If you get the lemons talking
there's a story inside ♪
[MOLLY AND COLE] Your metaphors
are messy but you're still the top ♪
Now, back on the train
'cause this isn't our stop ♪
[PAIGE] Be aware, we're
almost there so wait and see ♪
'Cause Mama's got this
Mama's got this ♪
Oops, forgot deodorant.
[MOLLY AND COLE] We
think our mama's got this ♪
[PAIGE] Mama's got this,
Mama's got this ♪
[COLE] Mom's looking like a boss ♪
[MOLLY] Did she
roll around in sauce? ♪
[PAIGE] Here's Mama ♪
Mama's got this ♪
[PAIGE SINGS IN POLISH]
[MOLLY] Is Mom speaking Polish? ♪
[PAIGE SINGS IN POLISH]
[COLE] She's definitely trying to.
[MOLLY] Okeydoke.
[PAIGE] One great
quote about the vote ♪
I'm on my way ♪
- Sing it!
- [MALE CHOIR SINGS IN POLISH]