CHiPs (1977) s01e03 Episode Script

Dog Gone

I got him scoped.
He's in the number three.
Fast bugger.
He's in number two now.
Okay, let's collar him.
- Watch out, Ponch.
Watch out.
- Come here.
Watch yourself.
Watch yourself.
- Come on.
- Careful, little one.
That's a good boy.
Okay, come on.
Come on.
Attaboy, come on.
Here boy.
Here.
Come on, come on.
Thattaboy.
Come on.
- That's a good boy.
- Come on.
No, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
Jesus.
Thattaboy.
Come on, come on.
Thattaboy.
No, no Come on.
I got him.
I got him.
I got him.
You wanna bet? Come on.
Wait, wait.
Wait.
Now I know why I liked turtles when I was a kid.
Hold it right here a minute, okay? L.
A.
, 7 Mary 3, looks like we have five-car 1182 southbound Harbor Freeway at the Vernon off-ramp.
All right, now.
Move out very slowly, now.
Be careful.
Look what you did to my fender, man.
Please, fellas, I'm upset enough as it is.
- Boots, he said he's upset.
- I'll handle the crash.
You put on your brakes first, man.
It's not my fault.
Okay, gentlemen.
Break it up.
Hey, man, lighten up.
Hey.
You back off, Chippy.
- It's between me and him.
- Hey, I said, cool it.
Bring it through.
Take it easy.
Did your mouth come with the badge? Don't get thick with me or you're gonna be kissing the concrete.
Think you can handle a little 1184? Lay back, Boots.
You're talking to the man.
Got a little problem here, Ponch? No, there's no problem here.
Is that right, Boots? No, man.
You wanna end it here, or you wanna take it further? Listen, did you happen to see what happened, sir? Well, I came off the freeway and the cars in front were slamming on their brakes for him.
Hey.
Hey.
Got you this time.
- Isn't he cute? - Yeah, and a troublemaker.
It's the animal shelter for him.
Wait a minute, Ponch.
Look.
He has a cut paw.
Come here, partner.
We got procedure, partner.
The animal shelter.
Some little girl or boy will come along, see the dog fall in love and give it a good home.
- First we take it to the vet.
That way, a healthy dog gets a good home faster.
All right, there? Procedure, Jon.
You know how Getraer feels about procedure.
Wait a minute.
You're telling me procedure? There's Baricza.
I'll have him take care of it, okay? Okay, partner.
I'll take care of the Tc reports.
Hey, how do you rate a mascot? I guess I'm just lucky.
Listen, Bar, would you - Bar.
- Yeah? - Would you like to do me a favor? - Sure.
Hey, what's that dog doing here? Baker? Would you mind coming over here a minute, please? Since when do you have a dog brought back to headquarters? - See, it's this way, sarge.
I went to the - No, no.
It's this way.
It's against procedure.
Now, if it was that partner of yours, I could understand.
But you? The dog cut his paw and needed medical attention.
We got the vet down the street.
So I figured the least we can do is have the little dog's wound fixed.
Okay.
You wanna play humanitarian, fine.
As soon as that vet is finished with him, you know where he goes.
- Oh, you got it, sarge.
- Yeah, right.
Sorry, Jon.
Here.
He jumped out of the car right in front of Getraer.
That's okay.
You should have listened to your partner partner.
Man, the look on your face when Getraer called you on procedure.
I thought you were gonna pop a vein.
Hey, the kid's not used to it, Ponch.
What can I say? Well, welcome to the club, old buddy.
He's mine, babe.
Not till I'm finished with him.
Hey, pull it over.
Hey, pull it over.
Hey, what's with this guy? Looks like a freeze-up.
Panic city.
Beautiful.
Now what do we do? You try to kick it out of gear, and I'll try to turn off the kill switch.
Jon, look.
A jam-up.
Clear.
Okay.
Jon, hit the brakes easy, now.
Ponch, look out.
All right, easy, now.
Let's ease him over.
Okay, I got the stand down.
Ease him over.
Okay.
Hey.
Snap out of it.
It's okay now.
Nobody told me.
- They should've told me.
- Just relax.
Take a deep breath.
You'll be okay.
They should have told me.
I don't understand.
I practiced a week.
Thought I was ready for the freeway.
- Nobody told me.
- Come on.
Step off, now.
Loosen up.
Come on.
You're all right, now.
- That's it.
Come on back here.
- All right.
You got your Class 4 license, your registration? - Class Class 4, yes.
- All right.
Right here.
- New bike, huh? - Twenty-five hundred bucks.
- What happened to you? - I'm not sure.
All I remember is I got on the freeway into all that traffic and then I couldn't think and I couldn't move.
- It was a bummer.
- You feeling okay now? Oh, yeah.
I think so.
The off-ramp's just up ahead.
Can you handle it? - Lf you like, we'll escort you over.
- No, no.
I've had it.
I'm gonna walk.
You get bucked off a horse, get back on.
- Now, just go over here and - No, no way.
No.
Where are you going? Home.
What about the bike? You can have it.
I never wanna see it again.
People should have told me.
No one told me I was gonna do this.
I'm gonna drive on a freeway.
Take me through all these cars.
Gonna kill me.
Never told me.
Baker.
The vet says he's ready to travel.
Okay, sarge.
Come on.
Come on, take him.
He's all yours.
- Okay, just a minute.
- Come on, Baker.
Okay, okay.
Take him to the shelter, where he belongs.
- What's the problem? - Nothing.
Nothing.
And you better go with him, Poncherello, in case he gets any more of his ideas.
No problem, sarge.
I know it's no problem, Poncherello.
You're on my time for another half-hour.
That's why I said, it's no problem.
- Hey, Boots.
That's him.
- Yeah.
One more thing.
Here's the bill from the vet.
Okay, little fella.
Are you comfortable now? There.
That's a good baby, yeah.
Feel a lot better, huh? I didn't know you were such a dog lover.
Hey, I'm not.
I just wanna help the little guy out, all right? Yeah, well, it's shelter time.
- I'll take care of him on the way home.
- You heard what Getraer said.
- He said you gotta take him - Hey.
I'll take care of it, okay? Okay.
Ponchereeny.
That's the dude I'm gonna put on the shelf.
Okay, get down in there.
That's a boy.
You okay? Hey, Boots.
You sure you wanna go through with this? Want me to pull over, let you off? - Yeah, you wanna get out? - No, no.
Hey, come on.
- I'm hanging with you guys.
- Just cool it.
Just relax, both of you.
Hey, Boots.
Which one of them is the loudmouth, huh? The one on the left.
Hey, come on.
Step on it, man.
We're gonna lose them.
Okay, okay.
Okay, I'll catch you later, Ponch.
Hey.
Look at him.
Hey there, little fella.
How you doing? Are you all right, huh? I better check this out, just in case.
You wait in here for me, okay? There you go.
Wait here.
Hey, what are you doing? We have to come to an understanding if you're gonna stay around here.
Let's see, here.
Here we go.
I'll get you out now.
Okay, man.
Let's get it on.
Hi, Jon.
Where did you get the puppy? Oh, hey, how are you doing? Real good.
A little mail there, huh? See you later.
Hi, Jon.
A new friend? Here we go.
Easy, now.
Hey.
Remember, no barking, okay? Hey, hey, hey.
Come on, come on, come on.
No, no, no.
No bark.
Yeah, good boy.
Hey.
Hey, that's a good boy.
That's a good boy.
Look at me.
There we go, now.
Listen.
Here, here, here.
Come on, here.
Come on.
At least bark to the beat.
Come on.
Hey, wait.
Are you hungry? Want something to eat? Hey.
I'll get you a little of this Here we go.
Here.
Hey, hey.
Come on, come on.
You'll like this, fella.
Come on.
Come on.
There you go.
It's It's all right.
Come on.
That's the boy.
Good boy.
Come on.
Come on.
The kid eats this.
Take a little bite.
All right.
- Come on, Boots.
That ought to do it.
- In a minute, man.
Officer Poochereeny deserves the best.
Yeah, Boots.
You gonna fix him up good, boy.
Come on, man.
Let's split.
Okay, pal.
That's it.
Six minutes, Yeah? Who is it? It's me, Jon.
Anybody with you? No.
- Sweeney's slot left - Door's open.
Chased out of the pocket.
Throws.
Intercepted.
No.
On third and two, you don't pass.
Beautiful.
Another interception.
Hey.
So New York will take over.
First and 10 on the 44-yard line.
What's this? Yeah.
Isn't he cute as ever? Especially with that cute chocolate moustache that was my Ding Dong.
Yeah.
But I'll tell you something, Ponch.
He'll make a good watchdog.
Especially for someone way out here in the boonies.
He doesn't recognize me.
Hi.
Here.
Come here, boy.
Come on, come on.
Yeah, well, maybe you should put some Put your helmet on.
Here we go.
Come here.
Come here, boy.
Come on, come on.
Come here, boy.
- Hi.
- See? What'd I tell you? - He loves you.
- Hi, hi.
I tell you, he'll make a good companion, boy.
Especially for someone Look how he kisses you.
- Out here in the boonies.
Nobody to talk to.
The cold winter nights.
Hey, what do you think? I'll tell you something else.
- Girls.
Do they love him.
- Hey.
Hey, Jon.
Oh, no.
No.
- Girls love him.
- Stay here.
I'll be right back.
Hey, Jon.
That's a 647-A, Ponch.
Indecent exposure.
You're not gonna get away with this.
You hear me? - With an obvious passing situation, back to throw - How did it go last night? - You mean with the dog? - Yeah.
- Okay.
- Listen, I'm sorry.
- Hey.
Hey, partner.
No big thing.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
Ponch, you're not just saying that, are you? No, don't worry about it, partner.
Hi.
Hi.
Hey, what is he doing here? I couldn't leave him locked up all day.
He'd get lonesome.
Getraer is gonna have your head.
I mean he's - What am I saying? He'll have mine too.
- Good boy.
Good boy.
Daddy's back.
Daddy? Ponch, you had a good idea.
Why don't we take the dog to the shelter? What are you talking about? You wanted me to take the dog, right? So I took him.
Right, Fido? - Fido? - Well, I had to give him a name.
Oh, yeah, Fido.
That's real catchy.
What will you do with Fido when you're out every day? We figured it out.
You see, what we're gonna do is - Get out of here.
- Fido, you get in here, huh? Go over there, now.
Now, stay there.
Stay there.
Fido.
How's it going, sarge? Very slowly, Poncherello, if you're any indication.
You're supposed to be on your beat.
Hey, we were just leaving.
Right, Jon? Yeah, right.
Yeah, well, I'm glad to hear it.
Oh, great.
Now what are we gonna do? Don't worry.
Baricza will find us.
That's them.
Hey, do we gotta follow them so close? I want to be there when the bigmouth hits the pavement.
Yeah, me too.
Hey, partner, we got company.
Yeah, same yo-yos as yesterday.
Yeah, and I don't think it's coincidence.
He's gonna get it.
So much for coincidence.
Well, if it isn't Officer Poochereeny.
Small world, eh, officer? Three of you mind stepping out, please? Sure thing.
Right over here.
Driver's license and registration, please.
Sure thing, man.
But I ain't done nothing wrong.
Have I, guys? Hey, man.
We're cool.
Right, Boots? - Right.
- Your driver's license and registration.
Well, Albert.
Why were you following us? The name's Boots, man.
- Why were you following us? - I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, Ponch.
- What's the problem, Jon? Got an illegal headlamp here.
Oh, I see.
Hey, boys, these tires are too wide for these fenders.
How about the exhaust system? Hey, that's not legal either.
Hey, what are you guys talking about? Sorry, Albert, but we're gonna have to write those mechanicals in the interest of your own safety, of course.
In the interest of your own safety, we have to stop these coincidental meetings.
Is that clear? Pull it over, right now.
Pull it over.
No.
My husband's had a heart attack.
I've gotta get him to the hospital.
Pull it over.
He had a heart attack.
I gotta get him to the hosp - We'll get an ambulance right away.
- No.
There's no time.
in pursuit of vehicle with possible heart-attack victim.
Dispatch rescue unit to location, estimated northbound San Diego Freeway, one mile north of Victory.
All units, L.
A.
, One mile north of Victory.
A possible heart attack.
Pull it over, and I mean now.
What is the matter with you? I told you my husband is having a heart attack.
So get away from me.
What are you doing? a 1097 on Roscoe at the San Diego.
- 7 Mary 4, 1097 on Roscoe in San Diego.
- I told you to take your hands off him.
- You're gonna kill him.
- Full arrest.
Let's ease him out.
I've gotta get him to the hospital.
Take your hands off of him.
Oh, no.
No.
One, two, three, four five.
One, two three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two three, four, five.
Come on.
Come on.
I got a little carotid pulse.
Three, four, five.
One, two, three, four, five.
One, two three, four, five.
- What do you got? He's cyanotic but we've raised a pulse.
Okay, we got it.
I'll take him.
S.
C.
General, this is Squad 508.
We have a man in respiratory arrest.
I want your names and I want your badge numbers.
- Look, ma'am - Don't you "ma'am" me.
I will report you for jeopardizing my husband's life now give them.
- Ma'am, in all due respect the way you were driving, you jeopardized your own life your husband's life and everybody around you.
I had to get my husband to Valley Presbyterian Hospital.
What is the matter with you? You should really be glad we stopped you, ma'am.
Why? Well, because you took the wrong off-ramp.
Valley Presbyterian Hospital is near Sherman Way.
Oh, God.
It's all right.
I mean, I'm very, very sorry.
I'm just crazy.
- It's all right.
Those gentlemen will take care of your husband.
- Thank you.
- Excuse us.
Thank you, officers.
I'm really Is everything all right? Yeah, it's a code 4, Bar.
Hey, guys.
There's a little matter I wanna discuss with you.
Is it a gray-and-white matter? Yeah.
With ears and a tail.
Told you he'd find us.
Hey, Fido.
Good boy.
Good boy.
That's it, boy.
Can I help you? Yeah.
I'd like to see the officer in charge.
It's real important.
May I ask what this pertains to? Come on, man.
I gotta see the guy in charge.
Okay.
Sarge, you got a minute? Yeah.
This young man would like to speak to you.
All right.
Wanna sit down? - My name is Zero.
- Yeah? I mean, Denton.
Oswald Denton.
I got two friends, Boots and Little John.
And sometimes they do heavy things.
You know what I'm saying? Excuse me.
Getraer here.
Sacramento? Yeah, put him on.
Yeah, captain? Yes, thank you.
What directive is that, sir? You sure Getraer didn't see you put Fido in Judy's camper? I hope he didn't.
Yeah, well, I pray he didn't.
I'll have it in the mail first thing tonight.
Right, bye.
Okay.
Now what were you saying? Yeah.
Well, yesterday, Boots got into this wreck that messed up his wheels and he got really burned.
Attention, all units.
L.
A.
S.
O.
Reports a 211 armed robbery.
Occurred about five ago.
Suspect is driving a light blue Plymouth Fury and was last observed traveling westbound on 6th.
Suspect is armed and considered dangerous.
I guess he's picking up the Harbor south.
Yeah.
Either that or the Hollywood north.
Let's pull over there and watch.
Yeah.
Well See, Boots got into it pretty good with your officer Ponche - Ponchenelly, Ponch - Poncherello.
That figures.
Anyway Boots I mean he don't like to be put down.
L.
A.
15-7 David, in pursuit of 211 suspects.
Hollywood Freeway northbound from the 4 Level.
Request units to assist in felony stop.
All units L.
A.
, 7 David is in pursuit Northbound Hollywood Freeway from the 4 Level.
Requesting Here comes the 211 express.
of 211 suspects, Hollywood north.
He what? He loosened his front hub? of the 211 vehicle, north on the Hollywood Freeway.
This is Getraer.
Cancel the pursuit.
Repeat.
10-22.
Acknowledge.
you are riding a defective motor.
Repeat, your motor is B.
O.
Acknowledge.
L.
A.
S-4.
This is 7 David, I'll stop Ponch.
Ponch, 10-22 immediately.
Cancel the pursuit immediately.
Ponch, cancel the pursuit immediately.
L.
A.
S-4, 7 Mary 4 is pulling over.
Go ahead, Central.
Poncherello, check your front hub.
Your bolt has been loosened.
Hey, man.
I was just watching outside the apartment.
I mean, I was holding the bike.
Boots was doing the number.
Apartment.
Frank, it's Baker.
It's his front hub.
Stop him.
Quick.
Jon.
Jon, are you all right? Hey, are you okay? Yeah, I think.
- Here.
- Oh, man.
That baby started wobbling.
I don't know what happened.
I just lost control.
One leg, I just went down.
Hey, anything broken? I don't think so.
Attention all units.
L.
A.
S.
O.
Has 211 suspect in custody.
Ventura Freeway and Laurel Canyon.
Hey, they got them.
Now, whose Getraer gonna call a hotdog, huh? I think I'll let you keep that title, all right? Barkley take him down and have him booked.
- All right.
Get the DA on the phone for me, so I can file charges against his two buddies.
Baker, Poncherello, you wanna step in my office, please? I don't know.
Oh, Fido.
This gentleman and his son are looking for their little gray and white dog.
Said they lost it on the freeway.
They've been over to the animal shelter and it doesn't seem to be there.
You don't suppose we could help them, could we? Yeah, I think we could help.
Yeah.
Why don't you follow us?
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