Class of '07 (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[quirky music playing]
[all calling] Sandy!
Sandy, where are you?
Jesus Christ, Zoe.
You're chewing on the furniture.
Why don't you just bring it down a little?
Oh, I'm sorry that I didn't brush up
on my Stanislavski to convincingly search
for somebody that we know
isn't fucking here.
[Genevieve] I found something!
Feces, human feces.
Sandy must be hiding out
somewhere in the school,
then coming down here to go number two.
[laughing]
Sorry to break it to you, Pepé,
but this is where we've all been going
number two since the plumbing died.
Wait. Where have you been going?
Oh, my God, she hasn't.
- [laughter]
- Okay, I think we're done here.
[Genevieve] Absolutely.
In the words of that Scottish mother
from YouTube, disgusting!
No, I mean, I think we're done
looking for Sandy.
Obviously, we have bigger priorities now,
like fucking toilets.
No way.
If we're willing to abandon our humanity
one week in to give up on one of our own,
then we might as well skip
straight to eating someone.
- [all murmuring]
- What the fuck?
But, Pepé,
we've been looking for a whole week.
And you heard Sandy.
She fucking hated it here.
A row boat is missing.
We can't find her bag.
And we all know she'd never
leave without her fucking bag, right?
Yeah, and also all the poos
are accounted for.
- But we need to
- We need to get the radio working.
Figure out which berries are safe to eat.
Find a way to get all of our IUDs out
before they rot away in our uteruses.
We need to start planning ahead,
and that means finding a way
to live up here.
Permanently.
[soft sniffling]
[sniffling]
[all sniffling]
[Saskia] Hey! Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, it's okay.
I know we're worried about Sandy,
but I'm sure she's fine.
Halfway to being reunited
with Constable by now.
We're not worried about Sandy, okay?
We're worried about our family
- and our friends and
- Our bongs.
If we just start focusing on survival now,
aren't we just giving up on everyone?
Exactly.
And that is why I, for one,
refuse to stop looking for Sandy,
because I, for one, refuse to believe
that no one else is out there
looking for us, too.
I mean, they have to be.
Right?
[sighs] Look, this shit is hard. I get it.
[Lisa Mitchell: "Lovefool"]
We're not meant to be okay.
Which is why, starting now,
I'm introducing a mandatory
emotional release hour.
[Saskia] Do whatever you need to do
to work through the pain
and the worry and the grief.
Because nothing could have
prepared us for this.
No amount of meditation
or medication or self-care.
- [grunts]
- [Tegan] Breathe in.
[Saskia] So, please, just give yourself
permission to fall apart
- Breathe out.
- [both crying]
for one whole hour a day.
I'm urging you to cry,
sob, howl at the moon. I don't care.
[screaming]
We will get our shit together.
We'll deploy all our strengths
until we master the basics
of food, water, plumbing and power.
Occupied.
[Saskia] But don't for a second
underestimate the pain of being back here.
All our teenage baggage
has floated to the surface,
and now we're stuck
with the people we thought
we'd know forever
until, you know, boys and jobs and
forks in the road got in the way.
So, for all our sakes,
get over your shit and let it out,
because if we don't,
I promise you, we'll never survive this.
[Sister Bicky] This is a very
difficult situation, Amelia.
[clock ticking]
I don't imagine you'll be
returning to the school.
Your father has arranged for you
to return home to the property
on the 3:00 p.m. train.
I'll allow another girl
to help you pack up your dorm room.
Zoe, perhaps?
Oh.
We're not really friends any more.
[classical violin music playing]
So, what unique qualifications
can you bring to the survival effort?
I actually started in paediatrics
because I love kids.
And then I was promoted to the ER, stat.
Stat, it's a medical term for "fast."
As in, uh, "I need lunch, stat."
Just kidding.
But seriously, is lunch soon or
- You had ducks, correct?
- [Phoebe] Yeah.
I also had an investment portfolio
totalling 17 mil in diversified crypto.
But now that legumes are trading
at an all-time high,
I'm cashing in, baby. Fuck's sake.
- I've worked for several years as a
- [Saskia] Teresa!
[mouthing]
I could really go for a tea right now.
Could you grab me one?
Caretaker school captain,
homeroom coordinator,
uh, student delegate
to the Uniform Committee.
If it weren't for me,
this school would never have
brought back the winter berets.
So you printed these off
and brought them to the reunion?
And what industry did you work in?
[all] Marketing.
Great.
Beer. I made beer for living.
Oh, so you must know some chemistry then.
I know that you can't put a flat beer
in a SodaStream bottle
and try to put bubbles back in it
unless you want it to ricochet
out the window, Saskia.
- As I was saying, I've worked as a
- [Saskia groans]
Too hot, Teresa. Too hot.
[playing classical music]
And that's what 10,000 hours gets ya.
Third chair in the
Australian Symphony Orchestra
and not much else?
I farm [stomach rumbling]
peanuts.
Don't worry, Amelia.
I've got big plans for you.
All right, ladies, listen up.
You've been split into two groups.
On the right, we have the Innovation
and Research Division, led by Amelia,
and they will be tasked with finding a way
to generate electricity by tonight.
- [all murmuring]
- [Saskia] And on the stairs,
we have the Infrastructure team.
You guys are gonna be digging
long-drop toilets.
[all groaning]
What? Nerds and gronks, basically.
Well, I'm going to be earning my bowl
of rice tonight by digging long-drops.
And Teresa remains on food,
and Zoe is your student council rep.
[all murmuring]
- "Too cools" privilege continues.
- Sluts.
Guys, if you've got questions, suggestions
or concerns about your allocation,
like I just said,
Zoe is your student council rep.
You can take it up with her.
Uh, uh
Yeah, hit me up, gal pals.
Yeah, I got a quezzie.
How is it that this school
feeds 800 girls a day,
but after one week,
all we have left to eat is rice?
- Yeah. What the fuck?
- I hardcore second that.
- Who thirds it?
- Yo.
[chuckles] How are you going to stop 100%
of hungry bitches
from dying of starvation,
Zoe?
Is that a question?
It kind of sounds more like a comment.
Yeah, how come she's getting
preferential treatment,
even though it's her fault
that we're stuck here?
Kind of like how it's your fault
for draining the generators last week,
Phoebe, charging your little laptop.
- [chuckles] Nerd.
- [Saskia] And, Tegan,
I saw you sneak a spoonful of rice out
of Unremarkable Lisa's bowl last night.
It's Forgettable Laura.
- Sorry, what?
- [Saskia] And, Renee,
I know you're hiding a menstrual cup
in there.
We could all be using that.
[all murmuring]
Sorry.
- Zoe
- Oh, I don't
I think, I think we're good.
I think we've got the message, Sas.
Great.
Look, I know that you're all hungry,
but I do see your strengths.
And if there's a group of women
who can succeed at surviving, it's us.
- So let's get to work, okay?
- Whoo!
[all groaning]
No! No, no, no.
Under no circumstances
could I be considered a gronk.
I refuse to dig long-drop toilets.
Fuck your allocations.
I'm looking for Sandy.
"Qui quaerit, invenit."
He who seeks, finds.
I lobbied hard for the committee
to make it,
"She who seeks finds,"
but it didn't translate as well.
[all murmuring]
Sounds like somebody failed
to emotionally release last night.
What?
Like, as in she hasn't taken a shit yet.
Oh, good one.
Okay, look, Sandy's story needs an ending.
I need you to convince Genevieve
that Sandy was lost and bereft
without her mutt.
She found her bag and she fucked off.
End of story. You got it?
- But how?
- "Yeah, Saskia, I've got it."
Thank you.
[Devendra Banhart: "Lover"]
[Zoe] Dear bitches,
have gone back
to States.
[door closes]
Hi, mate.
What you doing?
Need any help with, um
Dewey Decimal System?
612 is where you'll find pictures
of dicks in anatomy textbooks.
- Don't ask me how I know that.
- Nope. I'm good.
You can go back
to pretending to do something.
My job is to help you, friend.
Bit above your reading level,
don't you think? [chuckles]
Cool, cool, cool. Uh
Well, I'm here if you need anything.
Just like in netball.
Here if you need wing defence.
JK, wing defence never got the ball.
Hey, where are you going?
Oh, Zoe.
I shan't hold my breath for your help.
Wait, what?
[school bell ringing]
[indistinct chatter]
- Hey.
- Hey.
I was just
Tuck shop, anyone?
- Yes. You wanna come?
- Oh. No, that's okay.
But if you don't mind waiting
- a sec
- [Saskia] Zo-Zo. Come on, let's go.
[Amelia] Zoe, I really need to talk
[Saskia] Zo-Zo, let's go.
Amelia, please come.
We haven't hung out in ages.
Uh, no. Go without me.
I need to see Danny anyway.
[Saskia] See?
She doesn't have time for you, Zoe.
[Amelia] Guys, little help.
Come on, Phoebe. You used to memorize
this shit in your sleep.
[Phoebe] Um
Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪
Power equals I squared R ♪
And the "I" means ice cream.
And the "R" is ratatouille or some shit.
I can't think. I'm so fucking hungry.
- [balloon bursts]
- [gasps]
Soz.
Guys, how good does that rat look?
I could go some deep fried rat
right about now.
Samesies.
Doc, what's that yellow stuff?
Oh! Me.
Um
That's It's pickle juice.
[Phoebe] I thought it was formaldehyde.
Common misconception, Phoebe.
Um, yeah, they, they phased out
the forda-del-dulcimide.
- It's actually all organic now.
- Guys!
Please, just help me work this out.
But how are we supposed to focus with only
a few mouthfuls of rice in our bellies?
I'm so hungry. At least when we were
cramming for school, like, we had, like,
energy drinks and, like, finger buns.
- Let's talk about finger buns.
- Burger Rings.
- Vegemite scrolls.
- Vegemite scrolls.
- Icy poles, the long ones.
- Yes.
- Hello!
- Okay, okay. I get it. I get it.
I will find us some food.
Just, please
get to work?
Yes, queens.
You boss bitches go.
All right. Now, this is the standard.
Everybody, I want you to look at, um
At her hole.
Sarah K., come on,
I know you got more in you than that.
Nice work, ladies.
This bitch gonna actually dig or
just hold a shovel and say positive shit?
Damn, why does she look so good?
I couldn't find anything
in the boarders' wardrobes that fit.
[Genevieve] Sandy!
Sandy!
I don't think we're gonna
have this cracked by tonight.
We're all pretty rusty
on the book learning front,
and we're just too hungry to focus.
Okay, take your time.
But just know, you and your team won't
be eating till you generate electricity.
What?
Saskia, that's no way
to motivate people, through
threats and ultimatums?
Well, Amelia, this is how I lead.
And, if I recall correctly,
you were the one who so badly
wanted me back in this position.
"Don't overthink it," you said.
"We just need a bitch."
So here I am.
Run things how you want,
but I won't threaten my team
with starvation.
Amelia, wait.
I see you taking little pills.
Now, I have no idea
what fucked you up so badly,
but this school fucked me up in ways that
I don't think you could possibly imagine.
And I'll never forgive you
for asking me to return to the person
I worked very hard to leave behind.
- Saskia, it doesn't
- Fucking dig, Sarah K!
Move your fat ass!
The deadline stands.
[mysterious music playing]
Oh, fuck.
Fuck, fuck fuck!
Mmm
Motherfucker.
Don't look at me like that.
Didn't know what I was doing.
[Genevieve] Sandy!
Sandy!
[insect buzzing]
Sandy!
Sandy!
[stomach gurgling]
Oh, no. [farts]
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
[whimpering]
[Kasabian: "Shoot the Runner"]
[exclaims]
[gurgling]
[retches]
[screams] No!
I'll have a strawberry milk
and a meat pie, please.
[laughs]
Seriously.
Just give us a shred, a nibble,
anything to help us focus.
Please don't ask me, okay?
I can't give you anything.
- Saskia's orders.
- Come on, Teresa.
She's given us an impossible task.
No, you don't understand, okay?
Saskia said if you came to demand food,
the entire class, not just the nerds,
would go without rations
until electricity was created.
That fucking bitch.
Yeah, so
You were never here.
We never had this conversation.
[sighs] Yeah.
Amelia. [clears throat]
I have been curious
about that secret stash
of junk food we used to keep
in the boarding school manhole.
According to my little cousin,
the tradition still stands.
[Wolfmother: "Woman"]
- [growls]
- [screams]
Oh, shit!
[growling]
Oh!
Uh
Need some help up there?
No, I'm good. I, uh
I'm doing fine.
Yeah. Totally fine.
Amelia, do you think
maybe we should just talk about this?
Because the last time I saw you,
you just ditched me at lunch for Danny.
No. No, I'm good. Yeah.
So, um
Yeah, you can go.
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool.
Fuck.
[growling]
Oh, fuck, shit.
[breathing heavily]
Dear God, I know I haven't prayed
since the last election,
and you didn't really come through anyway,
but, please, help me
take a shit at school.
I beg of you.
[water dripping]
[mysterious music playing]
Oh! Thank you, God.
Thank you.
[sighs in relief]
Amen!
[groans]
Uh
No. It's got to be deeper.
At least one and a half Tegans.
I'm fucking Megan.
Zoe. Hey, Zoe. Uh
I'm happy to be a gronk, but I think
I could be more useful to the nerds.
You know, given that I work
Yeah, I can't talk right now,
Forgettable Laura.
- Yeah.
- Hey, what's going on?
Um, so the PR strategy has been planted,
if you will.
But while I was out there, I found some
communication of the very real variety.
Okay. Enough of the corporate babble.
What are you trying to say?
I found a broken fucking oar, Saskia.
And if the oar couldn't survive,
how could Sandy?
- We fucking killed her.
- Don't you mean you killed her?
Stop with your gaslighting bullshit, okay?
We both know what we both did.
Come on,
you know you're dispensable, right?
Or at least that much was clear when
you nearly fell in the fucking sinkhole
and no one tried to save you.
Do you not feel bad about Sandy at all?
You've got no idea.
[Megan screams]
[Saskia] Great work, ladies!
Pop her in the next one
and let's get it going.
Disappear that oar or take the hit alone
because this class will not survive
without me leading it.
Finish Sandy's story
and start telling anyone who asks
that, no, you can't help them.
Got it?
Hey, Zoe, about the job allocation
Get the fuck back to work,
Forgettable Laura.
Okay.
[Vampire Weekend: "A-Punk"]
- [all exclaiming]
- That is a fiery pickle juice.
- What the hell are you doing?
- Flame-grilled rat.
It'll be finger-licking good.
[Amelia] Don't eat that.
Oh, shit!
[Tegan] No. No, no, not the brows.
No, no, no, no, don't cry. Don't cry.
Please don't cry.
Save it for emotional release hour.
[Zoe] Okay. Just like hiding a book
in a library, Zo-Zo.
Oars belong on boats.
Nothing weird about this.
Hi.
I Oh, God, for God's sake. Um
[clears throat] I do need your help.
Saskia is starving out the nerds,
and it's really dangerous, so, um
Can you
Can you ask her to let up, please?
Uh
I'm
I'm sorry, I can't.
Why?
Because
- I just can't.
- Because Saskia said so.
[grunts]
Fucking hell.
Did you seriously just punch me
in the tit?
Yeah. I did. All right, Zoe?
Because all you do is look out for you,
all right? You're fucking selfish.
- You always have been.
- Selfish?
I'm building you a fucking boat.
How am I selfish?
I never asked for a boat.
No, of course you didn't.
You never ask for anything, do you?
You just fucking martyr yourself.
I take responsibility for myself, okay?
I don't hide behind other people.
[Zoe] Oh, my God.
So I was friends with Saskia. Get over it.
You were fucking glued to Danny.
Like, sorry that I decided to go
and make other friends,
so I didn't have to third-wheel it
with you and your horndog gardener.
Zoe, we weren't even
hanging out when I left.
[Amelia] You were so done with me
by that point
[Zoe] Oh, my God. Bullshit. Bullshit.
I would get home
every single day from school,
and I would fucking star-69
to see if you'd called, and you never had.
I tried, Amelia, okay?
And at some point you're going to have
to stop blaming me
for whatever happened to us.
There is no us, Zoe.
There is no us. People drift apart.
People outgrow each other.
We don't have to hold each other hostage
over "best friends forever" bracelets.
Yeah, no, for sure, 'cause you're not
holding onto anything, are you?
No, of course not.
Because otherwise you would just
fucking come out and say it,
that Danny knocked you up.
Is that it? Or your parents went broke
and they had to pull you out of school,
or what?
What? You got expelled for plagiarism
or for fucking a staff member?
I mean, what the fuck was it?
Okay, fine. Well, listen,
until you can swallow your fucking pride
and tell me what it is that I apparently
did wrong ten fucking years ago,
I'm just going to have to assume
that it's totally unimportant.
In fact, knowing you,
it's probably petty as fuck.
Fuck this.
Let's just stay the hell away
from each other, okay?
- Yeah. Fine.
- And get out from under Saskia,
for all of our sakes.
Fucking hell.
Would you like a super arch, or maybe
something a little bit more standard?
I spent a lot of money on these brows,
so if you could just keep pretty much
to their natural shape,
that would be good.
[Renee] Duly noted.
Where's Tegan?
I don't know. She just said
she hadn't been this long
without Megan before,
and then she just bailed.
Friendship's weird, I know.
[Renee] So, what do you got?
KFC? Oh, sushi?
Halal snack pack, maybe?
[Phoebe] Pretty sure
she doesn't have anything.
Can you put this down?
- [Renee] I'm hungry.
- [Phoebe] I know. So am I.
I want that rat.
[sighs]
Fried rat.
[crying quietly]
- [Renee] Amelia?
- [sniffles]
Um, you okay?
[sniffling]
I'm sorry, guys. I just
Saskia's given us an ultimatum,
and we're not gonna eat
until we create electricity.
I didn't want to pressure you
with fucked-up threats, but
I've looked high and low,
and there's no food anywhere.
Okay, um
- Okay.
- I'll start here.
Yeah, we got this. Don't worry about it.
Remember I said,
power equals I squared R, so Okay.
- [Renee] Yeah.
- [Phoebe] Yeah.
[all] Ooh!
Let there be light.
Let's hear it
for the Innovation and Research team.
[all cheering]
You guys!
I knew you could do it. Told you.
And also for our gronks.
I mean, Infrastructure team.
We have managed to assemble
a shit-ton of shit boxes.
So there's no excuse
for bush poos any more.
Come on, ladies.
We fucking built electricity today.
We are better than bush poos, aren't we?
This is disgusting.
Guys, we've got
a fucking stigmata situation.
Yeah. We were down by the water's edge,
- looking for mushrooms so that
- For food.
- Obviously.
- Obviously.
[Tegan] But, no, we stumbled across
Mother Maz dawg here with a note for us.
This place is haunted as fuck.
Like, we're pretty sure
we also saw Sister Bicky's ghost
doing calisthenics on the oval.
Yeah, because we definitely
did not find mushrooms.
Uh, show me that.
[mysterious music playing]
[paper rustling]
"Dear bitches."
That's rude.
"Please don't be mad. I've left.
I realised I couldn't live
without Constable.
And once I found my D'Amiré,
I knew I had to bail on this dump
to try getting back to the US.
I've taken a rowboat.
Soz if you needed it,
but I needed it more. Sandy."
[scoffs] Wow.
Well, I guess we can stop looking.
Sandy is gone.
[sarcastically] Oh, no, anyone but Sandy.
[Saskia] Zoe, would you like to
add anything as SRC rep?
[Zoe] Uh
Yeah. Just
that, um
I think I speak for all of us
when I say, "To Sandy."
Safe voyage home, Sandy.
[all] To Sandy.
And to Sister Bicky, who said that
this group would never amount to anything.
So, with the utmost disrespect,
I say, go fuck yourself, Bicky!
- [all toasting]
- [woman] Fuck you, you fucking bitch!
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
- Ridge Heights ladies standing proud ♪
- [Phoebe] Oh, no.
[others join in]
We make such a clever crowd ♪
Conscientious and polite ♪
What was it that you wanted
to say to me earlier, Forgettable Laura?
Oh.
- You know, only that I work as
- Actually, one second.
An electrical engineer.
[singing continues]
[Missy Higgins: "The Special Two"]
[Tegan] Breathe in.
Breathe out.
[coughs, laughs]
[sighs]
[crying]
[oar thumps]
You said it yourself, Sas.
Sandy would never go anywhere
without her bag.
[closing music playing]