Cowboy Bebop (1998) s01e03 Episode Script
Honky Tonk Women
1 I think it's time to blow this scene Get everybody and the stuff together OK, 3-2-1, let's jam I like those shades, man.
Mmm, I like everything you got.
Looking to make some big bucks? I think you'd fit right in here.
You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you.
Quite an elaborate way to get acquainted.
I had no idea the legendary Lady Luck was still alive.
Poker Alice, Queen of Hearts.
They tell tales about you on every asteroid from here to TJ.
If Alice was still alive, she'd be over 200 years old.
That's true.
Considering, you're looking pretty good.
Hottest granny in the star system.
Poker Alice never lost a game.
And she never cheated.
She was just a born winner.
Maybe, and maybe that's just part of the legend.
I understand you've accrued quite a large debt.
Would you rather deal with the galactic police or me, Ms.
Queen of Hearts? Prophecy? So Charlie says, "Only hands can wash hands.
" "If you want to receive, you have to give.
" Something like that.
I wish I could remember the exact words.
Anyway, I think Charlie's telling us to just do it.
Ha what do you make of it? Somehow, I don't think Charlie Parker'd be quoting Goethe.
Come on, it's just a dream I had.
Lighten up.
I have a feeling that dream's gonna suck up our last 5,000 Woolongs.
I'm really sorry to mention this No smoking in here.
You better not play here.
Your eyes are too sharp.
They'll kick us out if you win too much.
Thanks, Mom.
But if you didn't want me to win, then you shouldn't have brought me here.
Say your prayers.
Thanks for the tip.
Mm-hmm! Queen makes 21.
Oh, that's just fine.
You mind if I join the game? He's the one.
That's 21.
The target will sit at your blackjack table and lose all of his money.
'Course, you'll use your skills to help him with that.
And he'll give you his last chip as a tip.
A token for his lovely dealer.
That's great.
What about it? Put that chip in my hands, and all those ugly debts of yours will disappear.
The final hand.
What a shame.
Appears I'm not skillful, and I'm not lucky either.
- Then what are you? - I seem to be very generous.
Another blackjack.
You cleaned me out.
All but this one chip.
Think I'll keep it as a souvenir.
Hey, wait! Hey! Come back here! - What's going on? - She hasn't taken all of his money yet.
Hey, you! What happened to your generosity? - You're messing up the whole plan.
- Huh? Don't play stupid, you're supposed to give me that last chip.
You're pretty brash.
You cheated the whole game, and I didn't say a word.
- Did you hear that? - Cheating! - No wonder I'm broke! - Unbelievable! Just give me the damn chip.
Can you come with me to the office, sir? - We have some questions.
- Like what? Bad move.
You punk! Come on, guys.
I like the fitness program here.
It's a good workout.
OK, showtime.
Looks like we got a problem.
Got another fight.
Ooh, a fight, huh? Oh, Spike Yes! - Jet! - I told you not to win too much.
That's not it.
We gotta split fast! Come on! I haven't cashed these in yet! Hey! He doesn't have it.
That chip he was carrying is a fake.
Neither you nor your boss were told why we cooked up this plan, but there's a reason, and that chip is crucial.
If it falls into police hands we're finished.
Boss, we still can't find the girl.
Track her down.
Put a price on her pretty head.
Wait a minute, I brought you guys back here, I should get a reward for that! Why are you locking me up?! Stupid dog.
My dog thinks you smell like money, and I have the very same impression.
Well, get over it.
Hey, Jet, how much did you win on those slots? It must have been 200K, minimum.
And who made you lose the whole pile? Hmm 200K is chump change.
It's nothing compared to what I've lost.
It's peanuts! And you're blaming the wrong person! Right your little zipcraft should sell for at least 400K.
You brought this on yourselves.
If you'd given me that chip, - there'd have been no problem.
- Chip? Yeah, chip.
Are you deaf? Ew, that's disgusting.
Gordon'll pay a fortune for that, more than your little brain can imagine.
So why don't we call him.
What do you say? I don't know anyone named Gordon.
And even if I did, you don't really expect me to buy that phony story, do you? Wait a minute! Come on, Ein.
Let's go.
Where are you going? Come back here! - It's a chip.
- 'Course it's a chip.
Not the poker chip, dummy.
There's another chip inside that chip.
A microchip.
Hi, amigos! You ready for some bounty info? Big Shot, cowboys, is coming your way! - Whoa.
- So Punch, who's up first this week? A pretty poker player that's headed for the pokey.
Yo.
Hey, Spike.
And the bounty's a whopping 6 million Woolongs! Yo.
Hey, Jet.
Happy hunting, all you cowboys.
I've been waiting for you.
First off, I didn't run away.
My ship was hijacked.
I believe you, of course.
Where are you? An old fishing ship at the gate.
And they have the control chip, Gordon.
So hurry up and-- What do you want? Well, we were thinking about you, and we had a little change of heart.
Why lock a fine young lady like you up in a place like this? You creeps aren't getting any ideas, are you? On the contrary.
We're taking you someplace where you'll be very well protected.
Oh, and where would that be? The police station.
You were right, 200K is chump change compared to your price Faye Valentine.
I don't believe this.
Did they put a bounty on me? 6 million fat Woolongs.
6 million? Is that all they're offering? Just how much money do you owe, anyway? Come on, have a heart, take me anywhere but the police.
They're the only ones who will pay your bounty.
I can't be stuck in one place for long, it'll kill me! - My whole family's like that.
- Yeah, right.
We're Romanies.
For eons, we've wandered the stars looking for love.
- It's our way.
- Huh? You don't know anything, do you.
Romanies are gypsies.
And you know what we call someone like you? A gaujo.
That means a bumpkin who doesn't know which way is up.
"Gaujo.
" I like that.
The wilds are calling me! You can't keep me locked up! Save it for the police.
Come on, Jet.
Let's get outta here.
Fine! Look, I'm not gonna run away! At least uncuff one hand! I can't even go to the bathroom this way! Man, you're a real talker, aren't you.
Spike, my friend, that girl is money in the bank.
Yeah no penalty for early withdrawal.
It's just like Charlie said in my dream.
"If you want to receive, you have to give.
" See, Spike? You gotta listen to your dreams.
That's how you find your dream girl.
Ow! Who's that? I'm not sure who you are, and I don't really give a damn.
You have my chip, and I want it back.
Well, I'm not sure who you are, and I'm not giving you anything.
Are we done now? It's just a poker chip.
It has no value to you.
Oh, we've become quite fond of it.
And we know what it's worth.
Three years ago, SIT developed a master decryption program called Crypt Breaker.
Rumor has it that shortly after its completion, the programmer turned up dead, and the program disappeared.
A program with advanced artificial intelligence.
It can decrypt and unlock virtually any security code.
But the catch is the program itself is encoded.
So whoever has it needs the key to open it.
The key to the key, so to speak.
They say the cops and the ISSP Special Forces have been searching every corner of the asteroids for it.
Guess they never thought to look in a casino.
Or even if they did, who'd ever suspect a humble poker chip? Not bad.
You've done your homework.
I used to be with ISSP Special Forces myself, in another lifetime.
'Course, a casino's a perfect place to launder large sums of stolen money.
You had the right idea.
You just chose the wrong day.
Now, it's only right that we do our civic duty and give it to the police, since, as you pointed out, it's worthless to us.
It's not worthless if I pay you for it.
300 million Woolongs? Nah, I'll go easy on you.
Make it 30 million.
Cheap for a magic key, huh? All right.
OK.
6 million turns into 30 million.
Our little nest egg's growing.
Just be ready.
Don't get caught off guard.
Okey dokey.
Shh! Stupid dog! Sellers who want cash up front are rare these days.
Yeah? Guess I'm just an old-fashioned kinda guy.
Beautiful.
Now, we will both count to three.
Then we'll release the magnetic field and move it up toward you.
At the exact same time, you will toss the chip carefully to us.
No problem.
I'm trusting you, pal.
Confirm that we have the chip, then destroy them.
Right.
Let's do it.
One Two Three.
Hey! You're supposed to open the hangar! Hey, "Gaujo.
" Hello, "Romani.
" - Bye.
- Don't let her go! Fire! Shit! Jet, get me outta here! All right! Sink them! Destroy all of them! No way.
She reversed polarity on one of the missiles! It's coming back around! She beat me again.
All this thing is good for now is one bet.
Might as well use it.
We're starting from square one.
Hey, the dealer's cheating! Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara This sucks.
This world's a mess.
Economic recession, kids blowing their minds You been reading the paper again? Take a look at the Bebop.
It's a bigger mess than that.
Bah, that's nothing.
Check out this news report.
Intergalactic terrorists.
They wanna blow up Ganymede.
- Huh? - They're "environmental protectionists.
" Perfect.
They can get rid of this furball you call a dog.
Next episode: "Gateway Shuffle.
" Man, I'm losing it.
Mmm, I like everything you got.
Looking to make some big bucks? I think you'd fit right in here.
You know the first rule of combat? Shoot them before they shoot you.
Quite an elaborate way to get acquainted.
I had no idea the legendary Lady Luck was still alive.
Poker Alice, Queen of Hearts.
They tell tales about you on every asteroid from here to TJ.
If Alice was still alive, she'd be over 200 years old.
That's true.
Considering, you're looking pretty good.
Hottest granny in the star system.
Poker Alice never lost a game.
And she never cheated.
She was just a born winner.
Maybe, and maybe that's just part of the legend.
I understand you've accrued quite a large debt.
Would you rather deal with the galactic police or me, Ms.
Queen of Hearts? Prophecy? So Charlie says, "Only hands can wash hands.
" "If you want to receive, you have to give.
" Something like that.
I wish I could remember the exact words.
Anyway, I think Charlie's telling us to just do it.
Ha what do you make of it? Somehow, I don't think Charlie Parker'd be quoting Goethe.
Come on, it's just a dream I had.
Lighten up.
I have a feeling that dream's gonna suck up our last 5,000 Woolongs.
I'm really sorry to mention this No smoking in here.
You better not play here.
Your eyes are too sharp.
They'll kick us out if you win too much.
Thanks, Mom.
But if you didn't want me to win, then you shouldn't have brought me here.
Say your prayers.
Thanks for the tip.
Mm-hmm! Queen makes 21.
Oh, that's just fine.
You mind if I join the game? He's the one.
That's 21.
The target will sit at your blackjack table and lose all of his money.
'Course, you'll use your skills to help him with that.
And he'll give you his last chip as a tip.
A token for his lovely dealer.
That's great.
What about it? Put that chip in my hands, and all those ugly debts of yours will disappear.
The final hand.
What a shame.
Appears I'm not skillful, and I'm not lucky either.
- Then what are you? - I seem to be very generous.
Another blackjack.
You cleaned me out.
All but this one chip.
Think I'll keep it as a souvenir.
Hey, wait! Hey! Come back here! - What's going on? - She hasn't taken all of his money yet.
Hey, you! What happened to your generosity? - You're messing up the whole plan.
- Huh? Don't play stupid, you're supposed to give me that last chip.
You're pretty brash.
You cheated the whole game, and I didn't say a word.
- Did you hear that? - Cheating! - No wonder I'm broke! - Unbelievable! Just give me the damn chip.
Can you come with me to the office, sir? - We have some questions.
- Like what? Bad move.
You punk! Come on, guys.
I like the fitness program here.
It's a good workout.
OK, showtime.
Looks like we got a problem.
Got another fight.
Ooh, a fight, huh? Oh, Spike Yes! - Jet! - I told you not to win too much.
That's not it.
We gotta split fast! Come on! I haven't cashed these in yet! Hey! He doesn't have it.
That chip he was carrying is a fake.
Neither you nor your boss were told why we cooked up this plan, but there's a reason, and that chip is crucial.
If it falls into police hands we're finished.
Boss, we still can't find the girl.
Track her down.
Put a price on her pretty head.
Wait a minute, I brought you guys back here, I should get a reward for that! Why are you locking me up?! Stupid dog.
My dog thinks you smell like money, and I have the very same impression.
Well, get over it.
Hey, Jet, how much did you win on those slots? It must have been 200K, minimum.
And who made you lose the whole pile? Hmm 200K is chump change.
It's nothing compared to what I've lost.
It's peanuts! And you're blaming the wrong person! Right your little zipcraft should sell for at least 400K.
You brought this on yourselves.
If you'd given me that chip, - there'd have been no problem.
- Chip? Yeah, chip.
Are you deaf? Ew, that's disgusting.
Gordon'll pay a fortune for that, more than your little brain can imagine.
So why don't we call him.
What do you say? I don't know anyone named Gordon.
And even if I did, you don't really expect me to buy that phony story, do you? Wait a minute! Come on, Ein.
Let's go.
Where are you going? Come back here! - It's a chip.
- 'Course it's a chip.
Not the poker chip, dummy.
There's another chip inside that chip.
A microchip.
Hi, amigos! You ready for some bounty info? Big Shot, cowboys, is coming your way! - Whoa.
- So Punch, who's up first this week? A pretty poker player that's headed for the pokey.
Yo.
Hey, Spike.
And the bounty's a whopping 6 million Woolongs! Yo.
Hey, Jet.
Happy hunting, all you cowboys.
I've been waiting for you.
First off, I didn't run away.
My ship was hijacked.
I believe you, of course.
Where are you? An old fishing ship at the gate.
And they have the control chip, Gordon.
So hurry up and-- What do you want? Well, we were thinking about you, and we had a little change of heart.
Why lock a fine young lady like you up in a place like this? You creeps aren't getting any ideas, are you? On the contrary.
We're taking you someplace where you'll be very well protected.
Oh, and where would that be? The police station.
You were right, 200K is chump change compared to your price Faye Valentine.
I don't believe this.
Did they put a bounty on me? 6 million fat Woolongs.
6 million? Is that all they're offering? Just how much money do you owe, anyway? Come on, have a heart, take me anywhere but the police.
They're the only ones who will pay your bounty.
I can't be stuck in one place for long, it'll kill me! - My whole family's like that.
- Yeah, right.
We're Romanies.
For eons, we've wandered the stars looking for love.
- It's our way.
- Huh? You don't know anything, do you.
Romanies are gypsies.
And you know what we call someone like you? A gaujo.
That means a bumpkin who doesn't know which way is up.
"Gaujo.
" I like that.
The wilds are calling me! You can't keep me locked up! Save it for the police.
Come on, Jet.
Let's get outta here.
Fine! Look, I'm not gonna run away! At least uncuff one hand! I can't even go to the bathroom this way! Man, you're a real talker, aren't you.
Spike, my friend, that girl is money in the bank.
Yeah no penalty for early withdrawal.
It's just like Charlie said in my dream.
"If you want to receive, you have to give.
" See, Spike? You gotta listen to your dreams.
That's how you find your dream girl.
Ow! Who's that? I'm not sure who you are, and I don't really give a damn.
You have my chip, and I want it back.
Well, I'm not sure who you are, and I'm not giving you anything.
Are we done now? It's just a poker chip.
It has no value to you.
Oh, we've become quite fond of it.
And we know what it's worth.
Three years ago, SIT developed a master decryption program called Crypt Breaker.
Rumor has it that shortly after its completion, the programmer turned up dead, and the program disappeared.
A program with advanced artificial intelligence.
It can decrypt and unlock virtually any security code.
But the catch is the program itself is encoded.
So whoever has it needs the key to open it.
The key to the key, so to speak.
They say the cops and the ISSP Special Forces have been searching every corner of the asteroids for it.
Guess they never thought to look in a casino.
Or even if they did, who'd ever suspect a humble poker chip? Not bad.
You've done your homework.
I used to be with ISSP Special Forces myself, in another lifetime.
'Course, a casino's a perfect place to launder large sums of stolen money.
You had the right idea.
You just chose the wrong day.
Now, it's only right that we do our civic duty and give it to the police, since, as you pointed out, it's worthless to us.
It's not worthless if I pay you for it.
300 million Woolongs? Nah, I'll go easy on you.
Make it 30 million.
Cheap for a magic key, huh? All right.
OK.
6 million turns into 30 million.
Our little nest egg's growing.
Just be ready.
Don't get caught off guard.
Okey dokey.
Shh! Stupid dog! Sellers who want cash up front are rare these days.
Yeah? Guess I'm just an old-fashioned kinda guy.
Beautiful.
Now, we will both count to three.
Then we'll release the magnetic field and move it up toward you.
At the exact same time, you will toss the chip carefully to us.
No problem.
I'm trusting you, pal.
Confirm that we have the chip, then destroy them.
Right.
Let's do it.
One Two Three.
Hey! You're supposed to open the hangar! Hey, "Gaujo.
" Hello, "Romani.
" - Bye.
- Don't let her go! Fire! Shit! Jet, get me outta here! All right! Sink them! Destroy all of them! No way.
She reversed polarity on one of the missiles! It's coming back around! She beat me again.
All this thing is good for now is one bet.
Might as well use it.
We're starting from square one.
Hey, the dealer's cheating! Aishiteta to nageku ni wa Amari ni mo toki wa sugite shimatta Mada kokoro no hokorobi o Iyasenu mama kaze ga fuiteru Kawaita hitomi de dareka naite kure The real folk blues Hontou no kanashimi ga shiritai dake Doro no kawa ni tsukatta Jinsei mo waruku wa nai Ichido kiri de owarunara This sucks.
This world's a mess.
Economic recession, kids blowing their minds You been reading the paper again? Take a look at the Bebop.
It's a bigger mess than that.
Bah, that's nothing.
Check out this news report.
Intergalactic terrorists.
They wanna blow up Ganymede.
- Huh? - They're "environmental protectionists.
" Perfect.
They can get rid of this furball you call a dog.
Next episode: "Gateway Shuffle.
" Man, I'm losing it.