Crawford (2018) s01e03 Episode Script

Previously on "Crawford" Okay, yeah.
The woods.
You have a gift with them! I see a gold mine! Those animal control guys charge big bucks for this kinda stuff.
You know, Brian, I think I'm probably gonna finish my new record before I get into animal control.
This is government land, I could build my cabin here and no one could stop me.
You know, this is private land.
Sorry dude, here ya go.
Whoop! DAD! Just a bunch of cowards, who have no honour.
This cannot stand.
We will send them a message tonight.
Second flare! Extinguisher! Tried to burn my damn truck.
- Let's finish the job for them.
- What? Hon.
Hey hon, hon.
Hey, no, let's leave that on the wall, okay.
Why don't we work on your cabin? Check that out.
Yeah, show me what you're doin' next.
It looks great.
- Hey, why don't you stay - Hey Mom, the photo albums are upstairs like they always are, right? - Oh, yes.
- Okay, thank you.
Don, is um, tell me how ya doin'? I mean ya seein' someone new? Havin' a good time? Some romance? I assume you're asking me about Manny? Because no, I don't have time for that, I gotta record to make.
God, how many times you gotta ask me about Manny? That's what I need right now, Manny, yeah.
God.
No, I need to find where I'm gonna plug in this cord so I can make some music and notes and music I gotta make music.
Manny, Manny, Manny! Don't be sad, Clyde, I'm gonna get you a new truck.
I like this truck.
We burnt it.
Don't say that, we didn't burn it, they burnt it, and it's gonna get you a new truck.
All right? So you still got your old truck, right? Right.
First we'll see what this guy Manny does when he's scared.
Get that photo and a brick.
- You're early! - No, Manny, you're late.
Just gives me another opportunity to tell you that your taste is impeccable.
This is a special installation, the step-in inlay just arrived from our direct artisan partners in Rome.
- From Rome? - Isn't it something? This work of art, it's so you.
We ordered the vintage shower, with the conservation water taps.
Look, look, it's right here.
Of course, but you know, there was also the uh - Oh, it's circled.
- When we talked about the Manny, all I can tell you is it show here it was shipped to the address on the order, and it was confirmed correct and authorized for installation by the Exquisite Quality Bathroom & Tile Company Owner.
Isn't that you, Manny? Manny? - Dude, dude, dude, dude - Brian, knock dude, what the - A-are you dancing? - Yes, Brian, I'm dancing.
- Whadda ya want? - I want you to look at this.
Oh, dude.
Check out Dad, man, is that Grant's arm? Sick Photoshop, dude, how'd you learn to do that, man? Wendy? What's she got to say? "Ringtails Humane Relocation, we're here in minutes, good prices, no more raccoons.
" Oh that's Mom.
Dude, you gotta show them this, man, - this is hilarious.
- No, no, no, no, no.
Do not tell them about this, okay? Do not.
If they hear about this, did I use their photos for these endorsements? They're gonna freak.
Free company, man.
The site, it's live now.
Everyone can see it.
Man, this is a real website? Take this down right now, you've got me up with raccoons and stuff, with my phone number, man.
I told you, low-key.
I was in a very cool band, man, I've sold records, I've sold out shows, I'm in music videos, Brian.
Dude, who cares if it's cool? You have a way with animals, and that's cool.
You gotta let me be your hype, man, okay? I'ma hype them up! I'll set something up.
There's money to be made.
- Money, money.
- I heard ya, man.
Okay.
Yeah, I need the money for studio time.
- If you set it up - Yes! I got it-I got-it-I got it! What is wrong with that kid? So, I have the perfect idea for you.
How 'bout this? $12,000, it's yours? - Manny - We have a deal? No, maybe Exquisite Quality Bathrooms & Tiles is not a good fit for us right now.
I'm sorry.
Not a good fit? You are ruining a beautiful moment between us.
- Manny! You're fired! - No, I'm not.
Done, you'll hear from our lawyer.
You're fired.
Dude, looks like that hurt.
- Are you okay? - Get up.
Won't get done or anything, it's just- - You okay, sir? - I'm fine.
Fine.
Thank you.
Hey, turn down the music! Miss Ferrah line, please? Don, I got a lead! Hi, Miss Ferrah, my name is uh, Don, I have an animal relocation company, and I hear you have some problems at your school? - They sound desperate.
- Well, I don't know, Brian, all we got are hampers and household items.
Think we look like 2 dummies.
I'm sorry you're too cool for this.
You're too proud.
- What? - You had a band, and now you don't.
You love raccoons anyways.
Go with the raccoons, okay? No, Brian, I think I'm gonna go with the money.
We're gonna make school board money.
A lot of money.
Are you really goin' in the suit and the goofy hat? Yes, we have to look professional.
Let's go.
Grab the hampers.
Hi Doug.
Hey, Doug, I'm much too busy to talk to anyone right now.
I just need to check with you about the car service.
I think we're getting overcharged.
Well, in fact, I know we are, because more than a few times we've been billed when you were here in the building.
- Hey, you busy? - No, not at all.
- Come on inside.
- All right.
Where are that guy's shoes? No, he has heel spurs.
Don't look, don't look.
Come on.
This thing is super easy.
Where's Shellers? She's at her doctor's appointment.
So, how are things with Darren? I know that you think he's a loser 'cause he's a bouncer at the Midtown Pool Hall, but he's actually the manager of the Midtown Pool Hall, so we're great, Mom.
What's up? I'm just worried about your Dad.
He's fixated on this whole cabin thing.
Ordering old carpentry tools online.
It's it's dangerous, right? The doctor said that he might have these episodes.
He could really get hurt building this thing all by himself.
I I'm not crazy, am I? No, he could ask for my help, and he refuses to.
You're right.
He should ask you.
I mean you could use your building contacts.
You could ask Manny, for example.
You've thrown all this work his way, he owes you.
I mean, I'll throw money in, we'll build this thing so fast, and we'll surprise your Dad.
Manny is blowing up my phone right now.
- Perfect.
- Oh, sorry.
You get him to help.
- You're so beautiful.
- Daddy is gonna be okay.
Oh you're so handsome like a little cat Fabio.
No milk for you, though.
Thank you.
I look ridiculous, Brian.
Ah man, how did you get me to dress like this? Look at you, you look like you're in a ska band, dude.
Hey man, these are my best clothes, okay.
We gotta look professional, we gotta make that school board money.
- Miss Farrah, here.
- Uh yeah, we're outside.
- Dude, hurry up.
- Okay, you're talking to me I'll do all the talking don't worry about it.
Hi! You must be Miss Farrah.
I'm Brian, we spoke on the phone, and this is Don, from Ringtails.
Hi, it's very nice to meet you.
Yes, right.
So um, Ringtails, is this a new business, start-up, part-time job kind of idea, or? Uh, full-time, and well, the ground floor chapter to an exciting new local franchise.
Guys, I'm sorry, but we need an experienced, professional team in.
All the pros have been in, and well we still have more raccoons than ever, so You know what ma'am, that's very okay, come on, Brian.
Miss Farrah, if you go with us, we'll guarantee your school will have no more raccoons for life.
Right now.
Can you please take me to your cafeteria? - Um - Brian, bag.
- Okay.
- This way.
All right, here's our cafeteria.
- We've checked it inside and out.
- three different companies.
We know they can't be getting any food in the school so I'm sorry to interrupt you, Miss Farrah, but they're definitely getting food from somewhere.
Well, that's impossible, as I Well, your school does appear to be closed down because of raccoons, so maybe you could show me where the recycling is, or, food source Yeah, we can check the recycling, again, but we've already checked it, so Thank you very much.
Recycling is this way, there's glass and bottles- - And the milk cartons? - Sorry? Are there milk cartons over here? This, right here? Oh, Miss Farrah, this is it.
It's the milk cartons, the un-rinsed milk cartons, they're just gorging on milk every day.
You guys don't have them covered.
There's tonnes of footprints here, and I think they came in here.
And up here.
That's it.
It's the milk cartons.
Do you say milk or do you say melk? I can never tell.
Everyone says milk.
Melk is weird.
- Milk? - I say milk.
Where's Manny? Manny? Manny, what the hell happened? Wendy! Hey, good to see you.
Well, I hope the Langille couple are happy.
Randy fired me, and I deserved it, so do me a favour and run me over with your car.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- I'd really appreciate that.
Why don't you just backtrack, tell me what happened, bud.
Uh, your father and a group of his friends, and I, we uh, I set a vehicle on fire and threatened some men.
I put the fire out, they put a brick through my window.
I can't stop thinking about it, and it's messing me up at work.
So please, I want you to have my business and enjoy it.
- Okay.
- It's over.
The dream is over.
- Okay, let's just calm down.
- Okay.
Why don't we go talk to Dad, and we'll just sort all this out.
Hey, sir! You look good! You feeling good? All those all-seasons? Okay, nobody cares about tires, you're the only person who cares about tires.
Manny just tell him why we came.
Right.
Um, sir, with all due respect, I think we need to talk about what happened with those men.
I already know! Manny already told me everything.
What is with you and the secrets, and the swearing of oaths, and all this knight stuff? I'm really sorry! Gentle! Gentle! Gentle! They through this through the Exquisite showroom window! It's photographs! They want money to stay quiet.
You know, hindsight is 20-20, but I think we may have crossed the ethical line the other night.
Although, completely warranted.
This looks like you're starting a fire.
It does, doesn't it? But I'm actually putting it out.
And what your dad's holding shows a truck burnt to a crisp.
What did you get Manny into? No, no, I'm just as responsible as your dad.
- No! - Maybe more.
No, this is for sure a you thing.
Nonsense.
Insurance scam.
Nothing to do with us.
These men are cowards.
Relax, go back to work, Manny.
Wow, I feel great.
I need a good lather.
I'm gonna go take a shower.
I love you guys.
I really love you guys.
Manny is my friend.
Leave him out of your garbage.
All right, what's the total, Brian? 11 raccoons captured, Don's sure that's it, and one-way doors in case we missed any.
But we didn't, 'cause we're that good.
They're in the limousine now.
The limo, that's great.
He caught them so fast with those marshmallows.
- Yeah, he has a way with them.
- Ow, ow.
- You got, - I know, I'm okay, it's just something that just happens sometimes.
One sec.
Okay, that's over.
What's the total, Brian? Miss Farrah, you need to make an adjustment on your wig.
Sorry, I just it's been a long week.
It's been one of those days, you know? No, no hey, hey, look.
Miss Farrah, look, look.
I'm bald, too.
I lost it when I was 16, and uh, all the kids make fun of me, so I tried to start a gang with other bald people.
It didn't work.
Welcome to the club.
- You're all right.
- Hey.
VanBurenWigs.
com.
That's my secret.
They're pricey, but I've never looked back.
Cool, I'll check it out.
What's the total gonna be? It's um, it's $2,600 taxes included.
- 26? - Yeah.
We budgeted a fair amount of money for today, and we saved a fair amount, so the total will be $3,600.
Yeah sure, thank you.
Thank you so much.
All right no, no, no! Okay, get in there.
Yeah, all right, here we go.
Hey, I'm gonna clean all this up, it's totally safe in there.
I'm gonna sweep it, it's gonna be sweet, really nice, I promise you.
Okay.
Hey Don, I told you so.
What'd you tell me, bud? - Is that is that for real? - Yeah, man, $3,600! Dude, that's like half of what I owe Dad, man.
Don't be stupid, don't give it all to Dad.
Think about your new record.
Dude, you're right! And I was right your hat looks dumb.
Okay, get in the front seat, we're gonna take them to the park, they love it there.
- Let's go! - Sure! - Don't forget your trumpet.
- Trumpet? Ska band, you're in a shitty ska bad.
- It's a music joke.
- Oh.
Okay.
Whatcha up to, Vern? What are you doin' in my awards showcase? Uh, finding a spot for the jacket.
My wife felt that it, it made more sense - to keep it here at work.
- Oh, well, Whoops.
What do you think, Vern? I agree with her.
Well, you know, look, a lot of people, they don't like the fact that I won the jacket, but I won it fair and square.
We were in Florida, and I was havin' a good time, and I got the news that I won it, and I went ecstatic, I jumped and down, I was celebrating, I was so happy, because I really earned it.
I worked for it.
It's mine.
Well, it's in the showcase, but it's mine.
There's a lot of people here that are jealous of me and my sales record.
They're just jealous.
- Oh, I really don't care.
- Sure, you do.
You could hang it up in the cafeteria, Vern.
I checked with Taylor, and he's cool with it in the awards showcase.
Okay, good stuff, Vern! Wa I'm sorry things went way longer than expected.
- It will not happen again.
- No problem, Shell.
Honestly, anytime you need to see a what's wrong? I'm pregnant.
Have been for 3 months, just found out.
I know what you're thinking, it's weird, - no boyfriend, right.
- No, I'm-I'm not judging, Honestly, hey, be a free soul on the weekend, honestly.
No, it's not like that.
Remember how drunk I got at the Christmas party? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Here, sit down.
Oh kid, but you know what, everyone was so sauced up at that one.
Oh, you were dancing with that tall, and oh-so-delicious guy, Stuart, right? Stuart, yes.
I danced with him all night, and we had a lot to drink.
And a lot to eat.
Oh, I remember that poor guy, he - And it didn't work out.
- He fell down, he threw up everywhere.
He peed himself, right? Anyway, I uh, ended up at Midtown Pizza, on a kind of a um, drunken manhunt.
Been there, guilty as charged, your honour.
Go on.
Vern, and those clowns downstairs, came in, they were wasted.
And long story short, I ended up back here, in 4S, at 4am, with a guy who works here, who shall remain nameless.
It was awesome.
- Oh! - Oh the desk.
- Oh! - Now, I'm pregnant.
Yeah.
Yeah, but, but it's great.
I'm happy.
I mean, I'm gonna have a baby and the ultrasound says baby girl.
Congratulations, kid! - Isn't she so cute? - She's beautiful.
She's already really attractive.
Where'd you get that money? You went dancing for money? - Every, every single night.
- Yeah.
Oh, you've already made dinner! My boys! Mom, I'm not gonna lie to you, okay, - I cooked the leftovers.
- There it is, leftovers.
- Let's eat.
- Hey, I'm sorry, could we just hold up one sec? Brian, this is a sweet spread, but Dad, I have somethin' to say.
I know I have a long way to go, but I think this is a pretty good start.
Gave you my word, I'll pay you back every cent.
I'll get you the rest as soon as I can, okay? I want to honour the day.
- The keys to the Scout, Dad? - Yes! It's yours now, son.
But hon, are you sure? I mean you had a little Oh no, it's full.
Okay.
These turnips are out of control.
- Sweet.
- Ahhh.
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