Crazyhead (2016) s01e03 Episode Script

1 This demon, he's in Suzanne.
You have to perform an exorcism.
She's dead.
Hello, Raquel.
You need to tell me who this guy is.
He's my demon dad.
Then you're Half demon.
Was this him or her? Her.
She's coming along nicely.
Like a sweet cherry tomato ripening on the vine.
I'm gonna catch ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya Oh, ah, oh I wanna taste the way that you bleed, oh You're my kill of the night.
You killed me, you silly bitch.
You should probably say something.
You - you were dead You died How weird is that? You were possessed.
We - we were trying to get that thing out of you.
Yeah? Well, you suck at it.
Big time.
You're alive? My hair is trashed.
Look at this shit.
Oh, my God.
What? What is it? I'm hungry.
Disgusting.
Milk's off.
This cheese is rank.
What happened to you? You mean after I died? It was all dark.
I could hear voices.
Some seriously scary shit.
I feel myself being pulled back, like I'm being sucked out of there.
I'm back in my body.
I can't breathe My head was pounding - the worst migraine.
I started to get really cold and I just thought, "Screw this.
I'm just going to walk home.
" Jesus.
Did you have to bury me so far from home? Seriously.
It took me forever.
It felt like I was Nelson Mandela when he walked to the ocean to make salt.
I'm pretty sure that was Gandhi.
The salt was Gandhi.
Mandela was small shoes.
He wasn't just about the shoes Whoever it was, it was a bloody long walk.
What is this? Pasta with a tomato and garlic sauce.
A few capers It tastes like shit, actual shit.
Why is there never any food in this flat? There is.
Most of it's on the floor.
I think that's you.
Oh.
Who is it? It's Matt.
He wants me to go over.
I really don't think that's a good idea.
We should go to hospital, and get you checked out.
We can say you OD'd on ketamine.
That's feasible.
I'm fine.
I don't want to be on my own tonight.
Can I sleep in with you? You died.
Only for a bit.
I'm sorry I'm so sorry.
It's OK.
It is not OK.
It is so far from OK.
Amy.
I killed you.
I forgive you.
It all worked out.
Snuggle up.
Just because I died, doesn't mean we can't snuggle.
I'm cold.
Snuggles.
Are you wearing a different perfume? It's the stuff you bought me for my birthday.
You smell weird.
Hi.
Suzanne's alive! She came back to life.
Are you shitting me? Seriously? Seriously? Are you serious? 'Yes, seriously.
She's asleep.
' We're in bed.
We're snuggling.
'Is that like spooning? Are you naked? Is she naked? No.
No-one is naked.
Suzanne's alive.
She came back to life.
What the hell is going on!? 'I don't know.
People coming back from the dead.
'This is all new to me.
' 'Why am I not surprised?' Do you want me to come over? I can come over and check her out.
Come over first thing in the morning.
And Raquel, it would be really great if you could figure out why I'm snuggling with my previously dead best friend.
Do you think you could do that? Mmm.
Great.
'Night.
You hold me like you want me to stay You only want to keep me from running away Mm, you hold me like you want me to stay You only want to keep me on your ball and chain Suzanne's changed.
Dying's changed her.
She's a blood sucking monster! She will suck you dry.
Ugh.
Call me.
Suzanne! Suzanne! Suzanne! Hi.
I hope you're feeling as horny as I am.
Suzanne's gone.
She isn't in the flat.
You get my message about her being a blood sucking monster bitch? What were you talking about? So I did some more research.
Turns out she's not really alive, not at all, uh, uh - not alive Trust me.
She's alive.
I had her breathing on my neck all night.
I barely slept at all.
You were spooning with a revenant.
We weren't spooning.
What's a revenant? What they call someone who comes back from the dead.
Isn't that a zombie? I thought that's a zombie? She's not answering her phone.
A zombie's different.
They've got that shuffly walk.
They're all Revenants crave the life force they lost when they died, so they're not all We have to find her.
What does that even mean - "the life force"? Girl wants to feel alive again.
And the only way she can do that is by feeding on blood.
Yeah.
She'll stick a straw in your vein and suck that shit right out of you.
Really? Mmm.
If that's true, how come she didn't feed on me? I spent all night spooning with her.
Maybe it takes a while to kick in.
It's like your period.
It's all peaches and cream, and then - Boom! They have to close the swimming pool for a week.
Do you know where she might have gone? A friend's house, or Oh shit.
Suzanne?! Suzanne!? Suzanne!? Suzanne? I wanted to stop.
I wanted to.
I couldn't.
My whole body was on fire.
It was heaven.
This is our fault.
We did this to her.
That milk is spilt.
Now unless you like licking floors, you have to move on, go to the shop and buy some more.
This isn't milk.
That is true.
What're we going to do with her? What do we do? OK.
Here's the plan.
We keep her snacked up on animal blood.
We take her out to the countryside, where there's no people, we stay out there whilst we try and find a cure.
Seriously? That's the plan? You want to go camping? Hey, Suzanne.
How are you? You brought a canoe? You said pack for camping.
He's looking at me.
It's like he knows why we're buying him.
I'm avoiding eye contact.
How many do you reckon she'll get through in a day? She's never been a big eater.
I was actually worried she might be anorexic.
I really don't think you need to worry about her anorexia any more Demon prick.
Where? The tropical fish section.
Who's a pretty girl? Ssh.
Who's a pretty girl? Shut up, you prick! Shut up, you prick! Shut up, you prick.
What the fuck? Drive.
Go, go! What did you get? Guinea pigs.
They were three for two.
It's a shame you couldn't have p-p-p-p-picked up a penguin.
Legend.
Go! All right.
A canoe? What were they doing with a canoe? I guess they were going canoeing.
Is that supposed to be funny? Do you know how sick I am of hiding in here, playing Doctor Feel-Good to a bunch of perverts and freaks? Just once I'd like to lose my shit and show them who I really am.
Raquel can set us all free, we can come out of the closet, and you're telling me that you've lost her.
Is that what you're telling me? Yes.
Well, then I guess I'll just have to find her on my own, then, won't I? Hi.
Where's my car? What were you doing in the forest? Amy likes the smell of trees.
She likes to sniff them.
Hm.
Tyler says hi.
Why does he say hi? We're going out to the house in Lymebridge.
He wants you to call him.
Yeah, I know.
It's seriously weird Yeah, er, bye! How come you know about this place? We used to come out here when I was a kid.
This is great, innit? This is just perfect.
This is exactly the type of place I want to hang out with a ridiculously sexy, blood-sucking monster.
There's no-one around for miles.
There's no-one for her to feed on.
No-one, except us.
Oh, we did not think this through.
Not at all.
Yeah.
We're basically breakfast, lunch and dinner, aren't we? Keep smiling.
Someone's living here.
It was Sawyer.
Who are they, the people who killed him? I don't know.
He said there's some demon prick after me.
A real bellend, apparently.
There's no signal.
I'm gonna go up the hill, see if I can get any there.
I'm really sorry .
.
about your dad.
If Suzanne tries to eat you, zap her arse.
You just worry about finding a cure, OK? Hi.
I'm Dr Weaver from the Psychiatric Referral Unit.
I was looking for Raquel Francis.
She's not here right now.
Well, you must be her brother, Tyler? What's this about? It's just that Raquel's missed her last few appointments.
You better come in.
Thank you.
Well, this is a nice space.
Great light.
I've been thinking about buying a flat around here as an investment.
Do you er, would you ever think about selling? No.
Not really.
Wait.
Raquel told me she's been going to all of her appointments.
I'm afraid she's not been entirely straight with you on that.
You know, she talks about you a lot, how much you've done for her.
Well, I do what I can.
Well, if ever you want to talk, or if you're worried about Raquel, you call me.
Any time.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
Raquel's a special girl and I really want to help her.
I don't suppose you know where she is? She's with her friend, Amy.
They're in Lymebridge.
She's somewhere in those woods.
You find her or I'll cut off your genitals and feed them to the badgers.
Whoa! Easy.
Who the hell are you? I'm Harry.
You creep up on me and I'll crack your skull! I wasn't creeping up on you.
I was walking.
This is my walk.
What're you doing here, creepy walk? Camping, in the woods.
This is the only place you get any bars.
Yeah? I don't think so, cos I don't like your face.
Find another hill.
I'm not finding another hill.
You don't own it.
Yeah, well, I was here first, so that makes it mine.
That's not how the ownership of hills works.
I'm sorry I startled you.
I'm going to go and sit on that bit of hill, over there.
Yeah? Well, you can sit on this! I appreciate the offer, but the grass is fine.
I'll get you something to eat.
'Today, I wanted to talk about exorcisms.
'There are certain pitfalls with an exorcism 'and things you have to watch out for.
' Oh, shit.
'When playing with spirits things can go really' '.
.
really, really' What are you finding so funny? Sorry, it's just a friend of mine.
He just started seeing this girl.
She's allergic to his cat.
She wants him to get rid of it, but he really loves that cat.
He's had her for years.
Then the girlfriend has to go.
His girlfriend obviously does things for him that the cat is unwilling, or unable to do.
Could shave her.
His girlfriend? Shave the cat numb-nuts.
It's the hair that causes the allergy.
A bald cat? Yeah, that could work.
I'll message him.
Thanks.
Do you want a Starburst? It's my last two.
Green or red? No? Green.
Good choice.
Tangy lime.
So apart from using your creepy walk to go sneaking up on people, what are you doing here? I come out here sometimes, when things get a bit on top, get away from everyone, you know.
You probably think that's a bit weird.
I don't think that's weird at all.
I get it.
What about you - what are you doing out here? I'm just here with some friends, just hanging out, camping.
We like to camp.
What's your name? It's fine.
I'll shut up and mind my own business.
I'm all done.
You can have your hill back.
Thanks for sharing it with me.
It's Raquel.
OK.
Well, nice to meet you, Raquel.
Maybe I'll see you back here tomorrow.
Maybe.
How is she? She's just been lying there like that for hours.
Did you find anything? What? I didn't find no cure.
I know why she's a revenant.
Why she's all blood sucky.
It's because of me.
What do you mean? If you're half-human half-demon, it seems you act like a bridge.
A bridge? A gateway.
Between this world and the underworld.
When Suzanne died, her soul came trip-trapping back over the bridge into this world.
My mum always said, "Raquel, take your head out your arse and do your homework.
" Maybe I never did take my head out my arse, not really.
So there's this cute little boy, Max.
His dad's tucking him into bed at night, kisses him, tells him how he loves him more than anything else in the world.
Max says, "Daddy, can you check for monsters under my bed?" His dad says, "Max, there's no such thing as monsters.
" He says, "Please, Daddy, I'm scared.
" So his dad kneels down and looks underneath the bed and there staring right back at him he sees another Max.
Shaking and quivering with fear, he whispers, "There's someone in my bed.
" So they're twins? What? No! It was before IVF.
There weren't loads of freaky little twins running about.
No, the lad that was in his bed was an impostor.
I told that to Simon Hall on the geography field trip and he shat himself.
Literally.
Turns out he had Crohn's disease, so that might have been something to do with it.
I remember that field trip.
I bet you do.
What? Oh.
No.
It's nothing Just some big secret you want to keep to yourself.
That's fine.
It's incredibly rude, but it's fine.
Did you participate in a campfire circle jerk? I don't even know what that is.
It's when you've got two blokes and I can guess.
Can everyone stop staring at me? We'll stop staring when you tell us what disgusting, perverted thing you did on your geography field trip.
Did it involve shitting in a sleeping bag? No.
Shitting on a fire? In a cooler? In a tub of margarine? An empty crisp packet? No, no, no.
Shitting in a baguette, like they do in France? You may as well just tell them.
Come on, Amy.
Just tell us.
A farmer's wife? I had sex with Mr Williams.
Mr Williams? Mr Williams as in the geography teacher? He wore glasses.
So now you know.
I hope you're all happy.
I shouldn't have said anything about Mr Williams.
I'm sorry.
It's fine.
I saw him the other day in the supermarket.
He was with his wife, it was so embarrassing, I don't know what I was thinking.
Feels like a long time ago.
Call out if you need anything.
Night.
Night.
MUSIC: Real Love, Baby by Father John Misty Our hearts are free So tell me what's wrong with feeling? I'm a flower, you're my bee We're not animals, baby It's the people who lie I want real love, baby Ooh, don't leave me waiting I've got real love maybe Wait until you taste me Raquel? Well, look at you, early worm.
No.
It wasn't the worm.
It was the bird that was early.
The worm got eaten.
Had its guts pecked right out of it.
Right.
Early bird.
I see you got my bracelet? Yes.
I ate the sweet.
Thank you.
It's just a few twigs.
Did you know they don't have an Accessorize out here? It's utter madness.
Anyway.
I'll shut up and let you get on.
Last night.
What were you dreaming about? The way you looked at me.
I don't remember.
You are the worst liar.
Just tell me.
Amy I don't remember.
You don't have to sit your boney arse all the way over there, if you don't want to.
You can, you don't have to I'm crossing the hill.
Wow.
You look totally different from over here.
The face looks bigger.
It's a whole new world.
Well, I can't sit looking at your freakishly big face all day.
It is massive.
Do you want to come and sit outside? You think I want to keep you chained up? It's just until we find a cure.
It feels like my stomach is eating itself.
It hurts.
It really hurts.
Just let me go.
I won't feed on you.
I wouldn't do that.
I could find a paedophile, or a rapist.
Some horrible low-life scumbag.
Just let me eat a rapist.
I can't do that.
Untie me, you bitch! Let me go! Let me go! I'm sorry.
Let me go! Oh, my God.
He did it.
He got drunk last night and shaved his cat.
What the hell?! That is freaky as all shit! I can't be looking at that.
I never thought he'd actually do it.
I mean, I guess it will grow back.
What? What's with the truncheon? My nonna always said, "Speak softly, and if they don't listen", "hit them with a big stick.
" It's good advice.
What? No, I was just thinking What? Just meeting you like this.
I'm not saying it's anything it isn't .
.
but I'm glad it happened.
I have to go.
Will I see you again? This is the only place you can get a phone signal, so I guess I'll be back tomorrow.
For the phone signal.
Right.
Mm.
Yeah.
Me too.
She's changing.
The way that she looks at me.
I don't know what to say to her.
I feel like I'm losing her.
It's only going to get worse.
We need to think about what we're going to do.
We're going to keep looking until we find a cure.
I'm not even thinking about anything else, and neither should you.
Whatever you say.
But I will say this.
De-Nile isn't just a river in Egypt.
Denial, as in a state of denial.
Yeah.
I got it the first time.
Right.
You know your rivers, cos you had sex with your geography teacher.
Yeah, I did.
Hello? Jake? I've been calling you.
I really need a wee.
Have you got the key? Erm Will you hurry! I'm going to piss myself.
Please.
Hurry! OK.
Shit! Jesus, what the Where did she go? Suzanne! We have to find her.
There's actually a part of me that's more worried about her finding us.
Suzanne! Suzanne! Over there! Where's Raquel? Raquel? Raquel? I've seen this.
Amy! C'mon! Jesus.
You scared the crap out of me? Sorry.
What're you doing out here? I was out for a ramble.
I saw a light through the trees.
So you weren't out here looking for me? What? No.
It's OK if you were.
I wasn't, so don't even go there.
Well, sorry.
I just thought You come stumbling into my camp and start pressing your hand against me tent.
You think I go wandering round, pressing myself against tents? Well, someone was.
What was that? Er Nothing.
That was probably a deer or a badger.
Noisy pricks.
OK.
This is getting weird.
What is going on? Someone was pressing against my tent.
If it wasn't you, who was it? It it was me.
Why? Why does any girl going rambling around the woods in the dark pressing herself against tents? So she can get your number, so she can facetime you.
Right.
Yeah.
Facetime.
Mm-hm.
It's 07700900545.
Good.
OK.
Got it, tent boy, and I'll message you mine as soon as I get signal.
Who is that? That's my friends.
They're probably all lost and shit.
I better go.
OK.
Well, thanks for stopping by.
Any time.
We'll facetime.
Definitely.
Amy? Jake? OK.
Then I'm guessing it's you.
You must be feeling pretty hungry for some blood about now .
.
so why don't you come and get it? Bet you can practically taste it.
It's all red and juicy.
Mm-mm.
There you are.
You don't understand what it's like.
It hurts.
All right, I get it.
You can chow down.
I can lose a pint or two.
Oh.
Battery's flat.
C'mon now.
I'm sorry.
Raquel.
Raquel.
What happened? You're bleeding.
Suzanne.
She was feeding on me.
Where is she? Raquel? They took her.
She was going to suck me dry.
They saved my life.
Who? Who took her? The demon pricks.
Ever since I was 14, I've been wasting these pricks, then they go and save my life.
Why would they do that? Something isn't right.
Well, whatever's happening, it's not happening out here.
We have to try and find Suzanne.
Morning.
Where am I? Well, I guess you'd call it my luxury apartment.
I sound like a pretentious dick, don't I? Who are you? Well, that is a question with more than one answer.
Perhaps we should start with "Who's he?" Now, he is breakfast for you.
I'm having huevos rancheros.
Have you ever tried it? It's fried eggs, refried beans, rice and avocado served on corn tortillas, topped off with a chilli and tomato sauce.
That's the thing about chilli.
It's like blood.
You get a real taste for it.
I couldn't let you kill Raquel.
She doesn't know it yet, but she's special.
She's a real game changer.
You're living proof of it.
Well, not so much living.
What do you want? I don't want to sound melodramatic, but I want to change the world.
A new dawn.
Your Your little blonde friend, Amy.
She's Well, she's proving to be a real pain in my arsehole.
I'm thinking you could be very useful to me.
Think of yourself as a perfectly formed little cog.
A lever might be a better analogy.
You're a lever.
And when the time's right Ah.
My tortillas.
Enjoy your breakfast.
Suzanne, where are you? Sometimes I feel like just fucking off to the Seychelles.
Screw you! They told me to do it.
I'm so sorry.