Cruel Intentions (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

1
[Blaise] Previously on
Cruel Intentions.
[Caroline]
It's President's Night. We need Annie.
She's the vice president's daughter.
I need you to get her for me.
What I'm not hearing is
how any of this affects me.
[Beatrice]
The Greeks think they own this campus.
That's why now is the time
to level the playing field.
We have to get ahead of it.
Oh, and you're seriously coming to me
with Scott Russell as the answer to that?
I'm Brian Blandsman. Vice Prez.
You know, you can just call me
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, because I'm the Veep.
I don't want to be
disappointed in you again.
But I have a plan.
Mom, I'm getting Annie Grover.
Good evening, everyone.
[protesters chanting]
Ho, ho! Greek life has got to go!
Hey, hey! Ho, ho!
Greek life has got to go!
Hey, hey!
["Sports!" playing]
[students chattering]
Now put your money where your mouth is ♪
Put your money where your mouth is ♪
You see height is time, time is money
Never apologize ♪
These are the rules ♪
Sports ♪
These are the rules ♪
Sports ♪
These are the rules ♪
- Sports, sports, sports, sports ♪
- These are the rules ♪
[CeCe] "After the hazing incident
last year that left one student,
Congressman Russell's sophomore son,
Scott, permanently injured"
Oh, grow up.
Like he was in Mensa or something.
They got nothing. Okay, here.
"The protests held outside
of Delta Phi sorority house.
Helping lead the charge was
Vice President Grover's daughter,
Annie, a freshman at Manchester College.
Due to the high profile progeny involved,
this latest stand might finally help
the anti-Greek movement
gain the momentum they've been needing"
Fuck. There's pictures.
Honestly,
I think it's just a perspective issue.
- I mean, look at the framing.
- [clears throat]
They got all
the protesters clumped in together.
It's not like anyone
believes the media anyways.
- It's fake news, is what it is.
- Yes, CeCe. We were all there.
Yeah.
See? That's you.
And that's your cankle.
Well, gout does run in my family.
- Try less salt.
- Hmm.
Okay, well,
there really is no other way to say this,
but due to the protest coverage,
response rates are trending 38% lower
than what we normally expect
for tonight's event.
But I don't want you to worry
because I already have some really
good ideas regarding damage control.
I have it handled.
Well, okay. I just think
[Caroline sighs]
Okay.
[students chattering]
[Caroline speaks Latin]
[in English] Earn your heritage.
We live by these words for a reason
because we have all been chosen to uphold
and to honor this rich and storied legacy.
We are Delta Phi.
We are proud. We must remain proud.
There have always been people
who wanna take that away from us.
But we must not be discouraged.
Their hostility and their anger
simply serves as a reminder
of just how powerful we truly are.
We must stay the course.
At tonight's champagne mixer
and to all of those thereafter.
One night does not define us.
One article. One story.
We are the story.
We have always been the story
and we always will be.
[Beatrice] This is very good for us.
I mean, for the cause.
It really couldn't have gone any better.
- Hmm.
- I mean, we completely dominated them.
Look at this.
- Hey I mean, we totally took them.
- Yeah. Yeah, we took 'em.
We commandeered the whole night.
Is this laminated?
We didn't commandeer them.
You commandeer ships, not people.
You impress upon people.
- Right. Well, they were impressed upon.
- They were, weren't they?
Besides, I had a laminator.
I didn't need to go to FedEx or anything.
- Okay.
- Plus, I think it's a great photo of us.
I mean, look at that.
- Yeah. [chuckles]
- Seriously, we look amazing.
Not Caroline though.
Do you think I should get bangs?
[Lucien]
I think bangs are always a good idea.
That question wasn't for you.
[Lucien] Well, question, cry for help.
You asked, I answered.
And there's nothing better
than a good bang.
- Well, I have work.
- Mm-hmm.
So I'll see you here later
for the symposium?
- Okay.
- Can't wait.
Whatever.
- Okay, love you.
- Love you too.
[phone buzzes]
So the symposium.
- [Annie] Uh
- Sounds like a real crowd-puller.
I think it's just
a bunch of people hanging out.
But she says it's gonna be
a real victory lap or something.
I don't know.
- [Lucien] You seem excited.
- No, I am.
[Lucien] Anything in particular
on your mind?
[scoffs] You can't win with these people.
- What people? These people?
- No, these people.
[sighs] The comments on this article are
They're insane.
- The Internet?
- I'm being serious.
I'm starting to think
this wasn't a good idea.
It was supposed to be a good thing,
and now people hate me.
I think hate's an awfully strong word.
Well, they're going after my mom
because she was in Sigma.
And now they're going after me for
going after her 'cause she was in Sigma.
Like, I Look.
"Mommy issues are hardly
an issue to stand on.
Nepo baby little bitch."
[chuckles] You really care about
what "Sarah from Nebraska" thinks?
I care what all Sarahs think.
- Okay, well, you wanna know what I think?
- No.
I think that you just need
to forget about it.
What? That's your big advice?
They're idiots.
They're gonna continue to be idiots.
I mean,
this is why you haven't done anything
because you're so worried
what people think.
I've done things.
You've been to one protest.
You need to loosen up and have some fun.
I don't like fun.
Well, that's the spirit.
- [students chattering]
- [sighs]
[students chattering]
[Blaise] If it isn't Caroline Merteuil.
The girl who lived, come to die.
Well, that's awfully tired.
Hmm.
[Blaise] What do you want?
- I've come to a decision.
- Oh, this ought to be good.
Scott should be
Alpha Gamma's next official president.
He's got the right story.
Really? You don't say.
I've come to realize that he does possess
a certain cachet
from the whole unfortunate hazing injury.
Yeah. If you could call it that. [sniffs]
And he does, if you squint,
come from a significant lineage.
Mmm. A high profile progeny. Yes.
And I can admit
he has a certain boy-next-door quality
and an inherent goodness that some,
not me,
but some might find appealing.
[sniffs] Huh? Very compelling.
I just think he could be
useful to us right now.
Okay, well, you've certainly
given me a lot to think about.
Definitely would not have
put that all together myself.
Definitely not.
- How do I skip this part?
- It's easy.
I just wanna hear you say it.
You were right.
You were right
You were right, Blaise.
Thank you so much for that.
Now, because you did ask so nicely,
we're gonna make the necessary maneuvers
and see to it that this gets done.
What does that mean? Maneuvers?
- Just Blandsman.
- What's a Blandsman?
Well, actually it's "Who's a Blandsman,"
and no one of consequence.
Blandsman.
Brian Blandsman, Rourke's VP,
and currently the only one in the running.
Scott's a shoo-in.
He's gonna win by a landslide.
Consider it done.
[phone ringing]
Good afternoon, office of the Second Lady.
Hi, it's, um, it's Annie.
Is my mom around?
Unfortunately, she has been pulled away.
Oh.
Lots of fires to put out, you know.
Yeah, sure.
I'm sure things will calm down soon.
I'll let her know that you called.
Okay, thanks.
You know, I was a Kappa.
Some of the most loyal women
I've ever met.
[sucks teeth] Yeah, I'm sure.
Um, but you'll tell her that I called?
I will tell her that you called.
Okay.
You've been quite busy.
Oh, yeah? According to whom?
Your picture
in the Virginia Herald for one.
Or perhaps mommy dearest gave you a call?
Nothing worse than silence.
Do you think I should wear
more jewel tones?
- A new look for a new you?
- Maybe.
Or maybe I'm just trying something out.
Style's a work in progress.
I think you and I both know
I can appreciate style,
but not when it's too flashy
and not when it gets in my way.
Why do I have a feeling we're not
talking about my sweater collection?
- What do you think you're doing?
- Changing.
I'd like you to walk me
through the thinking here.
[Lucien] What would you like to know?
I'd like to know your little act
of rebellion was just that. An act.
Never been a fan of the theater.
Fall in line, Lucien.
I thought you loved me
for my rebellious nature.
Fine. Be the boy who cried Attica.
Let me just remind you
what's on the line here
if you don't get me what I want.
If you wanna fuck me
[whispering]you better not fuck me.
[whispering] Gotta run.
[scoffs]
[Blaise] Oh, fuck.
Oh, God. That is so hot.
[moans]
- Yeah. You like that?
- Yeah.
- You know what would make it even hotter?
- You want me to put a finger in?
- No. No, no, no.
- No.
I was just thinking how hot it is
seeing a powerful man on his knees.
- Look this powerful?
- No, not like that.
I mean, like, uh
like a powerful man, like a president.
Like, if you were
President of Alpha Gamma.
What about Brian?
Blandsman? What about him?
He's a really good guy, and I think
I think he really wants this.
Okay, that may be,
but we need more than that right now.
We need you.
You're a natural-born leader, Scott.
It's in your blood.
Don't you want to follow
in your dad's footsteps?
- Yeah, of course. Yeah.
- Great. Then that's settled.
- But I can't do that to Brian.
- Blandsman doesn't matter.
[Scott] I'd feel too bad
running against him.
- He does really want this, you know?
- Okay, yeah, but
[Scott] And you
you wouldn't want me to do anything
that makes me uncomfortable, would you?
[sighs]
[students chattering]
You're gonna have
to take a mulligan, Blandsman.
- You stepped on my ball.
- Yeah, I actually meant the election.
[Brian] No way.
[stammers] Way.
Wait, what are you talking about?
I'm talking about you
giving up your bid for this presidency.
[chuckles] Yeah,
that's not happening, brother.
Oh, it's happening.
- With or without your say so.
- That's
What the fuck?
Dude, I've waited for this.
Two years I spent doing nothing
but taking all kinds of shit from Rourke.
And we thank you for your patience.
We really do, but we need to select
the most appropriate man for the job.
And, you know,
with all the recent controversy
[sighs]we need a How do I put this?
More front-of-house
kind of face for this presidency.
Okay. This isn't some
big dick measuring contest.
- I've earned this, and you know it.
- Well, I said face, not dick.
And my point still stands.
All right, look,
I did the most philanthropy hours.
I did I did the most designated driving.
I got a Tesla, man.
You know how many people
threw up in that Tesla?
- I'm gonna say a lot.
- A lot.
A lot of people.
Now I want my fucking reward.
- The reward being?
- Being [stammers]everything.
The title, the power, the girls.
This isn't Make-A-Wish.
All right, you can't just walk in here,
swinging your big dick around
and take this from me.
[clicks tongue, inhales sharply]
Your obsession
with the size of my dick aside,
this matter is now out of your hands.
Have fun with your little putter.
[whispering] I'm sorry if
if I caused any problems for you.
Please just call me back when you can.
Okay, bye.
[Annie sighs]
[stammers]
- [students murmuring]
- What happened?
I left you earlier
with very specific instructions.
Would you please be quiet?
People are trying to work.
Oh, sorry.
[whispers] Sorry.
- Sorry!
- Oh, my God. [shushes]
I'm just trying to teach by example here.
What? How to be a dick?
- The art of not giving a fuck.
- Okay.
Well, I do give a fuck about everything.
So, I'm gonna talk to a reporter.
I can clear this whole thing up.
That is a terrible idea.
- No, it's not.
- What are you gonna say?
What do you mean? It's obvious.
- Tell me, Miss Grover
- [student shushes]
if you believe that institutions of
Greek life are classist, racist, sexist,
and all manner of "ists,"
how do you defend your mother,
who belonged to a sorority herself?
[scoffs]
- I'm waiting for an answer, Miss Grover.
- Okay.
- Criticizing institutions is diff
- Yes.
Is different than judging
the people who belong to them.
But that's exactly what you did.
That's the position that you've taken,
and these are the people
that you're standing against.
- No, I'm standing against [stammers]
- Against whom?
There There are certain
- There are certain things
- What certain things?
There are [groans]
There are certain people
- What kind of people?
- There are certain principles
- What kind of principles?
- There are certain principles
that I'm standing against.
Principles associated
with sororities and fraternities?
- Yes.
- To which your mother belonged.
No. Well, I mean [stammers]
yes, but she didn't
[Lucien] Yes?
- Not
- Mm-hmm?
Not all sororities are bad.
- Not all men!
- Stop!
- Not all men! Not all men!
- Oh, my God. Stop.
Shut up!
[whispering] Sorry.
That was a train wreck.
Oh, my God. I'm screwed.
What am I gonna do?
I already set the whole thing up
with a reporter.
I'm gonna help you, but, first,
- I need you to give my way a chance.
- [sighs]
Fine, okay.
Let's say I go along with this madness.
Then what?
Well, then I send the reporter off
to someone else.
I got just the person.
Let's go!
[phone ringing]
Um
Hello?
Yes, this is she.
It said use a comb.
[shushes]
We actually have something planned
for tonight if that works?
Yes, that would be great.
I will.
Okay, I-I will see you then.
Thank you so much.
Okay, bye.
That was a reporter
with the Manchester Daily.
They want to send someone
to shadow me tonight
for the New Political Society Symposium!
[exclaims, chuckles]
- Oh, God. That's amazing! Amazing!
- [cheers, laughs]
Beatrice, um
- Wait, what's wrong?
- What'd you do here?
I don What do you mean what did I do?
Um
I'll just go shorter.
Shorter works.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
Um, scissors.
As it stands, we have
the Alpha Gamma boys coming in shifts,
starting at 7:00 p.m. sharp.
So God willing, we can have them in tuxes
and circulating the caviar
and champagne by 8:00 at the latest.
An hour to get them
in tuxes and hand them trays?
- What, you think an hour and a half?
- I thought we were getting the coupes?
[CeCe] No.
Remember they didn't have enough?
I don't think it'd be an issue now,
though, considering
- Do you want me to call them back? I can
- No.
It might actually be better to not have a
bunch of extra glassware floating around.
It might make the PNM turnout
seem kind of sparse.
We are the most exclusive
sorority on campus.
That exclusivity is
what makes us attractive.
Tonight is about reminding them of that.
Being one of us means holding
the key to any door worth entering.
- I am not worried about numbers, CeCe.
- No, right. For sure.
But the response rate is still kind of
Ladies! I come with word from the front.
Word from the front?
Does that mean
there's been another attack?
You're not pulling the brothers
from the event, are you?
That's the whole appeal
of the champagne mixer.
PNMs waited on by attractive
and well-bred college boys.
We need the appeal.
We have the tuxes, we have the caviar,
we have too many flutes.
What's the update?
It's about Blandsman.
What's a Blandsman?
He's refusing to drop out.
I thought you said it was a done deal.
I'm afraid this one requires
a little extra finesse.
Oh. Then why are you not off finessing?
[stammers] I think this is a problem
that can only be solved
by a woman's touch.
- Is it just me or is this hard to follow?
- He's in it for the girls.
I checked the Brothers' book.
He's only logged two girls in four years.
Now, I tried to track them
down and confirm some rumors
that I heard about the size
of his platform, but we don
I don't need the backstory.
Okay, well, I need your help
exposing his shortcomings.
Coordinate with CeCe.
- Great.
- Actually, Caroline, I was supposed
- to go to Professor Chadwick's office
- Chadwick?
Yeah, remember I've been TA'ing for him?
Skip it. I'm in his 10:00 a.m. lecture.
- You are?
- My grand-little goes.
I read the notes. He's a waste of time.
Really? I actually think he's kinda
CeCe, are you saying
that some hack professor
is more important than
the future of your sisterhood?
No. No. You can count on me.
I promise I won't let you down.
- Coordinate with CeCe.
- All right.
- [CeCe scoffs] What is it?
- Blandsman. B-L-A-N-D
I didn't know absinthe was,
like, a real thing.
I thought it was illegal
or only sold in Europe or something.
Put it in the cart.
[Annie] Have you tried it?
I'll try anything twice.
I don't think that's the saying.
Well, I said it.
- These?
- Sure.
- [cashier] Is that it?
- Yeah.
And, uh,
couple of scratchers while you're at it.
[cashier] A couple of scratchers.
The lady will be paying.
[clicks tongue]
Well, then, I guess it's on me.
ID?
Yeah.
Cassidy Featherstone?
- Sir, I'm
- The vice president's daughter?
[Lucien applauding]
Damn, Cassidy,
you really are the best that they've got.
- She's a look-alike.
- She's a what now?
A look-alike.
They have them for, like,
those, uh, higher-level people.
It's a thing.
You ever seen the movie Dave?
Yeah, with, uh, Kevin Kline.
Right. Based off a true story.
Okay. I guess I never really realized.
[Lucien] Do you think that
the vice president's daughter
- would be hanging around in
- [phone buzzing]
forgive me if I'm offending you,
but do you really think she'd be
hanging around a place like this?
So, you're being for real right now?
Completely real.
Yeah, I've been with the second family
for, ugh, God,
it feels like lifetimes at this point.
Well, you look almost identical.
I mean,
I better after what I went through.
- Ooh, girl, damn.
- I know. And that's nothing.
I had to extend my shins too.
Really long recovery time on that.
But, you know, Annie Grover's tall, so
Cassidy Featherstone has to be tall too.
Listen, how much they, uh,
pay you for something like that?
Oh, they make it very worth my while.
Good look-alikes are hard to come by.
Yeah, she's, uh, pretty special.
Everybody, make way, coming through.
We have a Lotto winner here.
[shushes] I can't believe you.
I can't believe me.
Well, you can,
because you're a Powerball winner!
She's got the Mega Millions!
We're just lucky
he didn't confiscate Cassidy.
I really like what you did there with the
whole scar thing. That was really cute.
- Yeah? Thank you.
- Yeah.
This is a dog bite when I was ten.
Attacked by a dog,
and yet she still fights for them.
[chuckles] A true inspiration to us all.
[student] Whoa, clutch!
Well, maybe not
Cassidy Featherstone, but
Hey, I like Cassidy, you know? She's fun.
Did you know,
it turns out she used to be a runaway?
Like, with a whole stick
and handkerchief and everything?
No. No, no,
she's not a hobo from the '30s.
- Oh, you know what I'm saying.
- Do I?
Okay. Okay, what else?
Okay, well, she was
she started as an actress.
Naturally.
Mm-hmm,
but she couldn't make it in the biz.
- She couldn't?
- No, she couldn't.
So she had to settle
for a steady stream
of background work in gay porn.
[chuckling]
My, my, my, Miss Featherstone.
You know, it's probably how
she got involved with the mob.
Makes sense.
The mob is very big into gay porn.
- Is it?
- Yeah. I mean, you see Goodfellas?
[chuckles] Clearly you haven't.
- [chuckles]
- [chuckles] Oh, my God.
Okay, so she fell in with the mob?
Yes, exactly.
Which is why she had
to get the plastic surgery.
You know, when things went haywire, see?
I thought you said she wasn't
a cartoon hobo from the '30s.
- Okay. She's whatever I want her to be.
- [laughs]
- Okay then, answer me this.
- Hmm?
Do you think Cassidy Featherstone
has a secret service tailing her?
No, I don't think she does.
- [stammers, laughs]
- There she goes. She's running.
[Annie] Lucien!
[Lucien] Come on. Chop-chop.
[birds chirping]
- Come on.
- Okay. Um
[Lucien] Welcome to the humble abode
of our fine university's president.
[Annie] Okay, why are we here?
Aren't you having fun?
Not at all.
Liar.
It's your influence.
- [Lucien chuckles]
- [chuckles] Okay.
[sighs]
Uh, hey.
Hello, Mr. President.
I just wanted to personally deliver
a congratulatory gift
from your sisters at Delta Phi.
Yeah. Nice. Okay, um
Uh, come on in.
[grunts]
[breathes heavily, moans]
[moans] Yeah.
- You're ready for this? Mmm?
- Yeah, I'm fucking [mutters]
[chuckles, speaks indistinctly]
- How bad do you want it? Yeah.
- Oh, I want it. Oh, yeah. Uh-huh.
[gasps]
[Brian] Yeah.
[exhales deeply] Oh, my God.
Uh,
is it okay or
Um, will you just excuse me
for one minute?
- [chuckles]
- Uh, yeah.
[footsteps departing]
[sighs]
- [line ringing]
- [phone buzzing]
That was fast.
You were wrong.
He doesn't have a micro-penis,
but he does seem to be
very sensitive about it.
- Seriously?
- If seeing is believing,
and I haven't seen hundreds,
but, well, I'm telling you I'm seeing it,
so believe it.
Okay, well,
you're just gonna have to improvise.
What does that mean? Improvise?
What do you want me to do?
I can't just cut it off,
right?
Uh, no, you can't.
Just get it done.
But how?
I don't know, CeCe. Figure it out.
Hey, what up?
- Hey.
- You good or
Yeah. [breathes heavily]
Do you need, uh
Have you ever had a snow job?
A what?
Oh. [stammers] Oh, wait, are you?
Oh! Okay.
- [exclaiming]
- [CeCe moans]
[stammers] Okay. That's cold.
- [exclaiming]
- [CeCe] Mm-hmm.
- [scoffs]
- Care to take a dip?
We don't have bathing suits.
Hasn't stopped me before.
Nah. [sighs]
What if someone comes home?
We've already done
the breaking and entering.
- No.
- We might as well enjoy it.
No, no, no. We have to go.
I have Beatrice's symposium.
Um, Cassidy doesn't like symposiums,
and she'd rather be here swimming with me.
So
You know Cassidy's
a made-up person, right?
You really ready to put her away?
'Cause I think she'd be sad.
You think so?
- Yeah, I think so. Yeah.
- Yeah? Yeah? Do you?
- You're done. You're so done.
- [chuckles]
[Annie gasps]
[alarm blaring]
[gasps] Let's go.
[both chuckling]
- [students chattering, laughing]
- [hip-hop playing on speakers]
[Brian] What the fuck? That's
Wait, those are
Um, how did you
You piece of shit.
Well, you really brought it on yourself.
[stammers] Wait. Well, how
Wh-Why does it look like that?
That It's not
[clicks tongue]
Gotta love a good snow job.
But it's not that small.
Yeah, but, I mean, it looks it.
Besides, two girls in four years?
I just don't think
you'd want this getting around.
It could be pretty damaging.
No one will believe it.
Hey, if that's a risk you wanna take.
But girls talk.
[breathing heavily]
Drop out.
Not only do the photos go away,
but I'll have every Delta Phi on the row
spreading word of your
prowess.
Um
Uh, and then I thought to myself
[exhales sharply]
I love being the VP.
Why would I wanna give that up?
[students murmuring]
Um, I think the right thing to do,
the only thing to do,
is to step aside so that
we can welcome in new leadership.
Um, we need someone to guide us
through these uncertain times.
And I think that someone
should be our very own Scott Russell.
[students applauding]
Why Why did he do that?
'Cause he knows what we all know.
You're the best man for the job.
- Yeah.
- [Brian] Come on up here, Scott. Come on.
- Let's give it all up for Scotty!
- [student] Let's go, Scott!
- Hey, Brian. [chuckles] Thanks, buddy.
- Okay, that's great.
- Good luck.
- Brian Blandsman, everyone, everybody.
Okay, man. Hey, uh, wow, this is, uh
Um, wow, this is
This is crazy, you guys. Um
All right, I guess, uh
Um, wow, this is really something else.
Uh
You know, I-I guess, um, I'll say
it'll be an honor and a privilege,
uh, for me to be your representative
so we can stand up
against those who attack our values
so we may finally come together
and achieve the great success
that I know that we are all capable of.
So
Alpha Gamma, let's go!
- [students cheering, whooping]
- [student] Yes!
[student 2] All right, all right.
- [chattering]
- [techno music playing on speakers]
I've always been
a champion of individuality.
I mean, I personally never even
understood the appeal of pledging.
I mean, I would never want to be
a part of something so toxic.
Hmm.
It's a threat to society,
to the environment.
I mean, the waste they create,
it's appalling.
That's why I've risked everything
to start this movement.
And that's why we have so many
important contributors like Annie Grover,
- the, uh, the vice president's daughter.
- Mmm.
Would you like to meet her?
She's one of my best friends.
That would be great, actually. Yeah.
Okay. Um
Where'd Annie go?
Bathroom. Let's get a drink.
That didn't look too good.
- It's good.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's fine, okay? I don't need your input.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't even want you here.
Okay.
You'll see. I'm gonna make another speech.
Look, as much as I love
the sound of your voice,
I think action
worked better for you last time.
[Beatrice] Action?
Just saying.
[sniffs]
[exhales deeply]
[sniffs]
[chattering]
We could make omelets.
- What?
- Tomorrow.
With the leftover caviar.
We could make omelets.
Eggs and caviar go really well together.
I watched a lot of Barefoot Contessa
over the summer.
You know, when I was in recovery.
Oh!
It's really good actually.
[clicks tongue] Really gets the taste out.
Kind of like a palate cleanser.
[Caroline] What are
you ever talking about?
It was a joke because earlier I had
something less tasteful in my mouth.
- Oh. Good one.
- I thought so.
[Blaise] Crowd's looking a little thin,
wouldn't you say?
And not in a good way.
- Funny.
- I thought so.
It's just such a shame
all of my hard work goes to waste.
I deliver the perfect presidential face
Well, technically,
I delivered because I did the thing.
Delivering the perfect face
means nothing if no one is here to see it.
[protesters clamoring in distance]
[Beatrice] Enough words. More action!
Take back the house!
[all chanting] Take back the house!
Take back the house!
I don't I don't think
this is such a good idea.
I mean, after everything.
Who cares? It's fun.
Take back the house!
Take back the house!
Take back the house!
Come on. Take back the house!
Take back the house!
We pay for this house.
This house that they use
to perpetuate abuse and-and classism,
and racism, and misogyny.
Yet they have the audacity to tell us
that we're not allowed inside.
It's our time.
It's time to take back what's ours.
[protesters chanting] Take back the house!
Take back the house!
Well, come in.
Make yourselves at home.
We have champagne, caviar.
Yes. I won't bite.
[Beatrice] Where are you going?
No. No, wait.
- Should we just go check it out?
- [Caroline] Everyone is welcome.
Including you, Beatrice.
[chattering]
[cork pops]
You see those sconces?
You should research those.
Thank you for coming.
Of course. Caroline, this is Annie.
Annie, this is my stepsister Caroline.
[chattering]
I'll be back.
I'm really glad to see you here tonight.
Um, yeah,
it's-it's nice to finally meet you.
[chuckles] You don't have to do that.
Pretend.
I know you've heard things from Beatrice.
I hope we can start fresh.
[Annie] Uh-huh.
[chuckles] Miss? Excuse me.
Can I offer you a serving utensil?
Or a napkin?
- When you use your hand
- [exclaims] Leave them be, CeCe.
But there are a lot
of very accessible valuables
in this room we need to keep an eye on.
Easy, Joe Friday.
Caroline knows what she's doing,
so just for tonight,
try being a normal human being.
- I really dislike you sometimes.
- Right back at you.
So I've heard so many
nice things about you
- from my dear stepbrother.
- From Lucien?
And he rarely has anything nice to say,
so imagine my surprise.
Enjoy the party.
Thanks.
[sighs]
[gasps] Hi, Scott.
Your mom told me you'd be here.
- This is crazy.
- I know, right?
Brian. How you doing?
Heard you came up a little bit short.
It's a real shame.
[Beatrice] A party like this probably
costs a couple hundred dollars per member.
So do the dues pay for it, or do we?
I mean, you tell me.
- Oh, I don't really know
- And it's not just the parties.
I mean, the money
goes all the way to the top.
[Scott] Anyway, sorry. It was
- Oh. I think it was junior year. Mm-hmm.
- Yes. You sat at the front of the class.
Well, I don't really remember much.
Yeah, I do. I spent a lot of time
looking at the back of your head.
- That's weird. Don't say that. [laughs]
- [chuckles] I'm sorry.
- Do you wanna
- Sure.
I mean, at the very least
it's simply not fair
that we all pay for this
and only a select few students
actually get to enjoy it.
You're welcome
to enjoy it anytime, Beatrice.
Just like you are now.
Caroline Merteuil, President of Delta Phi.
I love those bangs, by the way.
Are they new?
I don't remember you having them
during rush last year.
You were a part of rush last year?
I was trying to get intel.
I only wanted to join so that
I could take it down from the inside.
Three years in a row.
Wait, so this whole thing
is just a personal vendetta
against the system
that rejected you three times?
[Beatrice] I just wanted to expose them
for the awful people that they are,
taking pleasure
in the humiliation of all of us.
Maybe we put down the drink
and find someplace private
we can talk this all through?
You know what,
this is exactly what they do. Okay?
This is what she does.
She acts like she's doing nothing,
but she's doing it right now.
Okay. Do you want to see
if maybe we can't get you a ride home?
You know what? See, look? She's evil!
She is pure evil.
I'm done. I'm not letting you do this.
I'm not letting you do this to me.
Let's go, guys. Come on.
Annie, come on. Let's go.
Um, I'm sorry, I just
I think I'm gonna stay
a little bit longer.
With him?
It's just, I'm having fun.
Fine.
Know what, it's your funeral.
Bye.
[door opens]
- More champagne?
- Yeah.
[door closes]
Miss Grover, does this mean
your stance on Greek life has changed?
No, um, I don't I-I don't know.
You don't know?
No, I don't know
my stance on anything right now.
- Well, has this
- Have you met our newly elected
- Alpha Gamma president, Scott Russell?
- Hi.
He himself was a victim
of a hazing incident just last year.
Thank God it was rectified
with the expulsion of the one,
we'll say, bad apple, who was responsible.
- So from victim to victor?
- Oh, no, no, no.
- My name's Scott.
- [laughs]
Scott is ready to ensure
Alpha Gamma's legacy of integrity
and brotherly unity
this year and for many years to come.
Hi. I'm CeCe. I was wondering
if you'd like to give your information
for any future Delta Phi rush events?
Oh, um Uh, yeah, sure.
That-That'd be great.
Everyone's welcome to sign up
for consideration after Annie.
- Come on in.
- [Lucien] Be right back.
[CeCe] You can sign up after Annie.
- [chattering]
- Hi. Yes.
Here's to you, Mr. President.
I can't wait to tell my dad.
Congratulations, Caroline.
Thank you.
I thought the reporter was a nice touch.
And my sending her to Beatrice
was much better than your original plan
of sending her to Annie.
Either way, we both did
what needed to be done
to get everyone here
and humiliate the opposition.
Now that Annie's
here in the Delta Phi house,
right where you want her,
I get to have you
right where I want you.
There's another part
you still haven't delivered on.
[Lucien] So we're not talking about rush.
I didn't realize you'd be so strict.
You know exactly how strict I am.
[Lucien groans]
Fine.
I guess now's the fun part.
[CeCe exhales sharply]
- [Blaise] That speech was something else.
- [Scott] It's the one I've heard my dad do
like a hundred times
on the campaign trail, so
I'm impressed.
- [Annie laughs]
- [Lucien speaks indistinctly]
[Annie squeals, laughs]
[Blaise] Next on Cruel Intentions.
- You were married?
- Yes.
[Chadwick] She's doing a reading
here on campus.
[doctor] We must not be afraid
to give in to our desires,
no matter how shameful or taboo.
[Scott] You think you could help me,
like, rub this one out?
[Scott] I'm not gay.
[Blaise] Maybe spend
a little less time together.
[Caroline] She hasn't pledged.
You still have a job to do.
[Lucien] Trust me. It'll be easy.
Do I have to do everything myself?
Welcome to Heaven.
We will all be sharing
a sacred part of ourselves.
We wanna get to know you.
Maybe just try to find someone who's nice.
Someone you trust.