Danger 5 (2011) s01e03 Episode Script

Sarge! My front guns are jammed.
I got a Zero on my twelve, he's comin' in fast! Hang in there, Nash! Oh my God, it's Rico! He's alive, and he's flyin' that Zero! Stop talkin' crazy! Rico's dead! You know that! Hey where you been Rico? Noooooooo! No, no you can't You said this was a proper staring match, Jackson, therefore the pants are legal.
Focus, my friend, focus.
I ca I can't.
I've got you now.
Ugh! Ughhh.
Ughhhh! Jackson, you're disqualified.
Tough luck, Tiger.
Hey Claire, I won, I'm the winner.
All right, that's enough Allied Air Support surrounding China have been dropping like flies.
It seems the Japanese have developed a new and unstoppable kind of super-soldier.
Now, the natural course of action would be to bomb the Jim Christ out of Japan.
The only problem is, Japan has completely disappeared.
- How can that be? - I don't bloody well know, woman.
Your mission is to capture one of these super soldiers and find out what makes them work.
Then, try and find the new location of Japan.
The Nazis are no doubt involved so as always your main objective, kill Hitler.
- No sign of Zeroes.
- Except for the one talking.
- What, you? - No, you! Oh, that's real funny.
Argh! - Tucker! - I'm hit! - Where did they come from? - It's no use, I have to bail! Ilsa! Ergh! Hey! I don't remember that island being there before! Ahhhh! Ohhhhh! Let's try and salvage one of those pilots and find out - Claire! - I'm hit.
Anti-aircraft guns! Down there.
Japanese? Huh? - Glen? - Hans Chang! Glen, Glen, old friend.
Old friend! Ho, ho, ho! Please, please, girls, these are friends not foes.
- You guys are buddies, huh? - We go way back.
- Hey Glen, you remember Shanghai? - Of course not! First, I must apologise for the destruction of your planes.
My girls must have simply mistaken you for the enemy.
I'll fly you wherever you wish to go in the morning.
What are you doing out here in Burma anyway? You see, my colleagues and I are working with the Allies, we are trying to locate Japan.
You're not hiding it around here somewhere, are you? A joke, my friend, a joke! Oh, jokes! I see, yes.
You always were a joking man, Glen, a man of jokes.
- General? - Yes, my flower? Do you think we could use your radio? Our electronics were damaged in the attack.
We need to get a hold of the rest of our team, they were shot down by the Japanese.
You may use the radio whenever you please but first a little party.
The finest china white this side of Istanbul.
Ah, it's been a long time since I've smoked the dragon.
Hans, you really shouldn't have! Come, come, join us for some treats from the East, my sweet.
No thanks, I'm not into that sort of thing.
It's very poor custom to deny such a rare Eastern treat.
What's the matter, Claire, didn't do your share of experimenting at Cambridge? Come, come, come, come, come, yes, yes, yes.
Suckle from the teat of the Orient.
No, that's it, I have to find the others.
No, I really should be Oh, all right, one more.
What is this place, anyway? Not really sure.
Me and Piet got shot out of the sky last week, woke up in this place.
Figure it's some kind of camp! Tell you what, the Japanese get a lot of bad press for their camps, but I don't see what all the fuss is about.
What's with him? Oh, he's been like this for a couple of days now.
Figure the camp's getting to him.
You're not Japanese, Piet! Ja, ja, you'd have better luck talking to a custard tart.
Excuse me, gentlemen, I have some business to attend to.
Hey? Okay, Dad.
- Hey - Here Hmm.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Oohhh! Ermmm Japan is moving? Chang's delivering opium to Japan and if these dates correspond with deliveries, then Japan should be off the coast of Burma tonight! Why couldn't you just enjoy yourself like all the others instead of snooping around like a nosy little bird? You can't treat me like one of your opium harlots.
You talk too much.
Ming Ling is my Seoul mate like Seoul in Korea, get it? I thought these girls were Chinese.
- Hey, you should pick a lady.
- Yeah, well.
Well what? They are all premium in quality.
Not like llsa, though.
Oh, llsa, huh? You know, you should tell her that.
Forget about it.
Yes, yes, my friend, my friend, you should tell her that you find her much more premium than oriental ladies.
Ming Ling! You were very brave, my oriental lover, but it's a fool's game to dance the waltz of love with the enemy.
Domo arigato.
Mushi mushi.
Where are we going, my friend? We're going to bring the Emperor his opium.
Claire, I must apologise for our behaviour back there.
We were seduced by the probing fingers of the gentle Lady Powder.
Please forgive us.
All right.
But no recreation on the job ever again.
- Tucker! - Ilsa! What the hell have you done to them? Device? What device? The Russians have a doomsday device powerful enough to wipe out existence on the earth.
They have it as a failsafe in case they were attacked on a massive scale.
Why do you think we got them to fight on our side? Used to be on our side.
Hai! Tucker, stop.
C'mon, llsa, stop fooling around.
- I don't think they are faking.
- Tucker! Stop! - Snap out of it.
- You can't do this, Tucker.
- Stop dammit! - You can't kill us because I I'm beginning to realise we need you.
- That's working! - You can't kill us, because I can't go on without you! What am I doing? Ilsa I think you are way more premium than oriental ladies! You know, I think you're all right, I guess.
Now snap out of it.
- What are you on about, Jackson? - Shut up! I'm no good at this! My God, they're weapon-proof! Claire, what you said back there, did you - It was just a tactic.
- Of course.
It's just if you actually did Well, I don't.
But Very well.
Tucker! - What are you waiting for? - Hmmmph! Maybe.
He doesn't know I took a first in Oriental Languages at Cambridge.
We need to hurry, the robots are moving in on Moscow.
This should do the trick.
Loving gentle breeze unseasonable warmness.
Tender milky smile.
No, no, no, no! I can't find it! Claire! Sad flower singing.
Without you my heart is brown.
Cold hands touch me, please.
You did it my friend! Josef? Peter? Hey, this isn't the Jo'burg YMCA! Well, I guess what happens in Japan stays in Japan.
For excellence in record keeping and prestige in the workplace, never look past Tanaka paperweights, made in Japan, because with Tanaka, what happens in Japan stays in Japan.
Mission o'clock, boys and girls.
One month ago Allied Command sent one of their top agents, code-named Gruber, to Waheed Al Quarn.
He collected information that indicates Hitler has taken up residence there in the casino.
However, Gruber himself has completely disappeared.
Your mission is to get into that casino and find Gruber.
But above all kill Hitler!