Danger Mouse (2015) s01e03 Episode Script

Chief! Space, as black as it is dark.
Filled to the brim with mysterious nothing, yet jammed with secrets our puny minds can never hope to comprehend.
This planet, for example, it looks peaceful, but what unfathomable forces are about to make it explode? I said explode! Oh, sorry about this, but it definitely says here that it's Ah, well, if only we'd been watching that planet, we'd now know what unearthly powers caused its terrible end.
As it is, no clue remains, no clue except this tiny seed, floating through the infinite void towards earth.
Hmm.
How long are you gonna be away at this pop concert? Just a couple of days.
And it's not a pop concert.
It's the Chickens of Rock Festival.
- Don't touch anything while I'm away.
- Not even this? - Not even my translation device.
- Ooh! Does it translate languages? No, it cuts and dries hair.
Of course it translates languages, you foolish hamster! Impressive.
It even speaks sarcasm.
What does this little plant do? Mutate gene sequences? Manipulate light, turning objects invisible? No, it grows in a pot.
Don't you have important things to do somewhere else? Get out of my lab, you clueless morons, and stop touching my stuff! Clueless? I'm the world's greatest secret agent.
- It's like she doesn't trust me.
- She doesn't trust you, Chief.
It's a shame about that little plant, though.
With no one to water it, it'll probably die down there while she's away.
You're right.
Her mistrust is putting that plant in jeopardy.
We're going to save that plant and prove that I can be trusted at the same time.
Wha-ha! Ha! How many jugs of water does a seedling need, do you think? - Ooh, about three? - Let's make it four.
I don't want the little chap going thirsty.
Penfold, why is the sink full of jam? There wasn't any more room in the bath.
We went through this when you filled the toilet with marmalade.
What did the doctor say about your jam-making compulsion? - Keep taking the medicine, but - No buts, Penfold.
- Have you been taking the medicine? - No, Chief.
I made it into jam.
Penfold, you must understand that industrial quantities of jam are Chief! A-ha.
Now, if I can just make it to the weapons locker Exactly how much jam have you made? Cor! What a vicious shrub.
Yes, well, at least we've got it safely contained.
Oh, we might have a slight problem.
Penfold, get the car.
Release plant-eating slugs.
Penfold, did you fill my giant-plant-killing spray gun with Jam, Chief.
Yes, Chief.
Sorry, Chief.
Danger Mouse, I just wanted to apologise about earlier.
I know you wouldn't really interfere with my lab while I'm away.
Um, no, course I wouldn't.
- Is there something happening there? - No, nothing.
It's all fine.
Uh, sorry! Gotta go! It's raining.
- You've told her a whopper, Chief.
- No, I said everything was fine.
Which it will be as soon as we've defeated that huge leafy monst If only we knew what it was shouting about.
The translator! The plant won't see us if we sneak into Squawk's lab through the tunnels.
- Just don't touch any of its roots.
- Right you are.
- What are you swinging on? - Ropes, Chief.
Big, long, rooty ropes.
Growing down from the ceiling like roots of a giant Oh.
Quick, in here.
- Uh, I wouldn't open that, Chief.
- Why not? Penfold, I think we may have enough jam.
Sorry, Chief.
I just can't help making jam when I'm nervous.
That explains the quantity.
A-ha! Um, isn't Squawk gonna be cross if you mess with her translator? We're only sorting out the problems we caused by messing with her plant.
How are we gonna sort out the problems we caused by messing with the translator? Shush.
We'll worry about those problems after we've caused them.
Let's just see if we can Warning! Invasion! It seems the translator can only understand a few words of the plant's bizarre language.
If only we could work out what those strange words, "warning" and "invasion" mean.
Uh, those are the translated words, Penfold.
It means if we don't stop it, that plant's going to engulf the entire earth in leafy conquest.
So, what's your plan, Chief? Well, how attached are you to HQ, Penfold? Um Would you still like it if it was a pile of smouldering rubble with the charred remains of a giant plant sticking out of it? I suppose I could get used to it.
Good, because the plant's roots are right here in HQ.
If we destroy HQ, we destroy the plant and save the planet.
- Activate autodestruct.
- Crumbs! How much is your eggish pie? Come on, man, speak up.
Don't just stand there photosynthesising.
- Get down! It's about to explode! - I'm not having it, then.
If there's one thing I can't stand, it's exploding eggish pies.
Not the pie, sir, HQ.
We're gonna destroy the plant.
Not Evans, the giant plant? Seems a shame.
Nice chap.
We've arranged to play golf on Tuesday.
- You mean you can talk to it, sir? - Yes.
- Although my Welsh is a little rusty.
- It speaks Welsh? Keeps trying to warn us about an invasion or something.
You should have a chat with him, DM.
Might be important.
In the nick of Oh.
In the nick of time.
You're in terrible peril, see.
The space bees will destroy everything.
Sorry, did you say space bees? Yes, boyo.
I'm the last of my kind.
Millions of years ago, my species dominated the galaxy, a harmonious Eden of huge Welsh plants.
Now, there's lovely.
Then came the space bees.
Intoxicated by our intergalactic nectar, they stung our worlds to death! Isn't it? You've got to evacuate this world before I flower.
- It's your only chance.
- Right.
When do you flower? Oh, well, hard to say, isn't it? My life cycle varies according to m Place is full of bally Welsh flowers now.
How did all this happen, DM, hm? Well, sir, the thing is, Penfold and I snuck into Squawk's lab and accidentally grew an alien space plant which is now attracting a swarm of giant space bees intent on destroying the earth.
You snuck into my lab? Chief, there's a big swarm of angry dots entering the solar system! - You snuck into my lab? - Yes, sorry.
Can we talk about this later? I just need to do a spot of saving the earth.
You snuck into my lab! I'll make it up to you.
Gotta go.
Behold, celestial Welsh nectar.
Drink and sting, my beauties.
Keep your giant stripy thoraxes off my planet.
Bees engaged.
How's your part of the plan, Squawk? Chief, Professor Squawkencluck says to tell you that her part of your plan Our plan.
Our plan is going very well because you're not in here messing it up.
I was only trying to water her plant while she was - Look, put her on.
- I'm not talking to him.
- She's not talking to you.
- Tell him not to break my robotic arm.
Oh, good grief, I'm not gonna break her robotic Oh.
Um, now might be a good time to launch those missiles.
S-s-s-sting! - Five - She says five.
- Four - She says four.
You don't have to relay everything.
One.
Missiles away! - Fools! You missed! - Did we? Ooh! What have you done? Just spread the surface of Mars with 1,000 tons of Penfold's jam, jam so sticky, no space bee could resist its intoxicating Jam! Right.
Awkward.
And so once again a grateful planet is saved by Danger Mouse, every citizen on earth bestowing him their thanks and und Ooh, well, maybe not every citizen.
Squawk, come in.
Now, I said I'd make it up to you.
How's this? - Mm.
I see you've tidied up.
- Yes.
You'd never know a giant Welsh plant burst out of here just a few Ah.
Might need a stiffer rug.
And so another citizen is saved, saved from having to eat Penfold's cooking.
And as to what became of Evans, the giant space plant, that must remain yet another mystery.
Oh, no, there he is.