Dr Horribles Sing Along Blog (2008) s01e03 Episode Script
Act III
Looks like we're finding out what a true hero is.
The Mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate the new homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer.
It's a good day to be homeless.
It certainly is.
So they say Captain Hammer's become a crusader, political, he's cleaning up the streets.
About time.
So they say that it's real love.
So romantic.
He signed this.
So they say we'll have blankets and beds we can open by Monday thanks to you.
Thanks to me.
It's the perfect story.
- So they say.
- A hero leading the way.
Hammer's call to glory.
Let's all be our best.
Next up : who's gay?! So they say he saved her life.
They say she works with the homeless and doesn't eat meat.
We have a problem with her.
This is his hair.
This is so nice.
I just might sleep with the same girl twice.
They say it's better the second time.
They say you get to do the weird stuff.
We do the weird stuff.
This is perfect for me.
So they say.
I guess he's pretty okay.
After years of stormy sailing have I finally found the bay? He's still not picking up.
- There's no happy ending.
- There's no happy ending.
- So they say.
- So they say.
Not for me anyway.
- Shoud I stop pretending? - Stop pretending, - take the chance you build a brand new day.
- Or is this a brand new day? This is his dry-cleaning bill Four sweater vests! And in just a few minutes, we'll unveil the statue of the man himself.
Thank you.
Thank you! Justice has a name.
And the name that it has, besides justice, is Captain Hammer.
Ladies and gentlemen, your hero.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mayor, for those kind words.
I hate the homeless.
This problem that plagues our city.
Everyone should have the basic You know what? I don't need tiny cue cards.
When I fell deeply in love with my serious long-term girlfriend Penny.
Wave your hand, Penny.
There she is.
Cute, huh? Sort of a quiet nerdy thing.
Not my usual but nice.
Anyway She turned me on to this whole homeless thing which is terrible.
And I realised I'm not the only hero in the room tonight.
I'm not the only one who's fighting.
It may not feel too classy begging just to eat.
You know who does that? Lassie.
And she always gets a treat.
So you wonder what your part is 'cause you're homeless and depressed.
But home is where the heart is.
So your real home's in your chest.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's got villains they must face.
They're not as cool as mine but folks, you know it's fine to know your place.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
In their own not-that-heroic way.
So I thank my girlfriend, Penny.
Yeah, we totally had sex.
She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex.
There's the deltoids of compassion.
There's the abs of being kind.
It's not enough to bash in heads you've got to bash in minds.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's got something they can do.
Get up, go out and fly especially that guy, he smells like poo.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
You and you and mostly me and you.
I'm poverty's new sheriff and I'm bashing in the slums.
A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums.
Everybody! - Everyone's a hero in their own way.
- We're heroes too - Everyone can blaze a hero's trail.
- We're just like you Don't worry if it's hard.
If you're not a friggin' 'tard, you will prevail.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's a hero in their Look at these people.
Amazing how sheep'll show up for the slaughter.
No one condemning you, lined up like lemmings you led to the water.
Why can't they see what I see? Why can't they hear the lies? Maybe the fee's too pricy for them to realize, your disguise is slipping.
I think you're slipping.
Now that your saviour is still as the grave you're beginning to fear me like cavemen fear thunder l still have to wonder can you really hear me? I bring you pain, the kind you can't suffer quietly.
Fire up your brain, remind you inside your rioting society is slipping.
Everything's slipping away so go ahead, run away, say it was horrible, spread the word, tell a friend, tell them the tale, get a pic, do a blog.
Heroes are over with.
Look at him! Not a word! Hammer meet nail.
Then I win, then I get everything I ever All the cash, all the fame and social change.
Anarchy that I run.
It's Dr.
Horrible's turn.
You people all have to learn.
This world is going to burn.
Burn! Yeah, it's two Rs.
H-O-R-R Burn! No sign of Penny.
Good, I would give anything not to have her see.
It's gonna be bloody.
Head up, Billy buddy.
There's no time for mercy.
Here goes no mercy.
That's not a good sound.
way! A death ray! Looks like Dr.
Horrible's moving up! Let's see if this one works any better than your others.
Don't! I don't have time for your warnings.
You give my regards to Saint Peter or whoever has his job but in hell.
Oh, I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like.
Oh, mother! Someone maternal! Get out of my way! I gotta get out.
Penny! Penny! Penny! Billy? Is that you? Penny, hold on.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no! - Are you alright? - Hold on.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Captain Hammer will save us.
Penny! Dr.
Horrible! Why did you kill her? Dr.
Horrible! Here lies everything, the world I wanted at my feet.
My victory's complete.
So hail to the king.
Everything you ever Arise and sing.
So your world's benign.
So you think justice has a voice and we all have a choice.
Well now your world is mine.
Everything you ever And I am fine.
right here, in my heart, and it hurts inside Now the nightmare's real.
Now Dr.
Horrible is here.
To make you quake with fear.
To make the whole world kneel.
Everything you ever And I won't feel a thing.
The Mayor himself will be on hand to dedicate the new homeless shelter and unveil the statue of Captain Hammer.
It's a good day to be homeless.
It certainly is.
So they say Captain Hammer's become a crusader, political, he's cleaning up the streets.
About time.
So they say that it's real love.
So romantic.
He signed this.
So they say we'll have blankets and beds we can open by Monday thanks to you.
Thanks to me.
It's the perfect story.
- So they say.
- A hero leading the way.
Hammer's call to glory.
Let's all be our best.
Next up : who's gay?! So they say he saved her life.
They say she works with the homeless and doesn't eat meat.
We have a problem with her.
This is his hair.
This is so nice.
I just might sleep with the same girl twice.
They say it's better the second time.
They say you get to do the weird stuff.
We do the weird stuff.
This is perfect for me.
So they say.
I guess he's pretty okay.
After years of stormy sailing have I finally found the bay? He's still not picking up.
- There's no happy ending.
- There's no happy ending.
- So they say.
- So they say.
Not for me anyway.
- Shoud I stop pretending? - Stop pretending, - take the chance you build a brand new day.
- Or is this a brand new day? This is his dry-cleaning bill Four sweater vests! And in just a few minutes, we'll unveil the statue of the man himself.
Thank you.
Thank you! Justice has a name.
And the name that it has, besides justice, is Captain Hammer.
Ladies and gentlemen, your hero.
Thank you.
Thank you, Mayor, for those kind words.
I hate the homeless.
This problem that plagues our city.
Everyone should have the basic You know what? I don't need tiny cue cards.
When I fell deeply in love with my serious long-term girlfriend Penny.
Wave your hand, Penny.
There she is.
Cute, huh? Sort of a quiet nerdy thing.
Not my usual but nice.
Anyway She turned me on to this whole homeless thing which is terrible.
And I realised I'm not the only hero in the room tonight.
I'm not the only one who's fighting.
It may not feel too classy begging just to eat.
You know who does that? Lassie.
And she always gets a treat.
So you wonder what your part is 'cause you're homeless and depressed.
But home is where the heart is.
So your real home's in your chest.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's got villains they must face.
They're not as cool as mine but folks, you know it's fine to know your place.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
In their own not-that-heroic way.
So I thank my girlfriend, Penny.
Yeah, we totally had sex.
She showed me there's so many different muscles I can flex.
There's the deltoids of compassion.
There's the abs of being kind.
It's not enough to bash in heads you've got to bash in minds.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's got something they can do.
Get up, go out and fly especially that guy, he smells like poo.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
You and you and mostly me and you.
I'm poverty's new sheriff and I'm bashing in the slums.
A hero doesn't care if you're a bunch of scary alcoholic bums.
Everybody! - Everyone's a hero in their own way.
- We're heroes too - Everyone can blaze a hero's trail.
- We're just like you Don't worry if it's hard.
If you're not a friggin' 'tard, you will prevail.
Everyone's a hero in their own way.
Everyone's a hero in their Look at these people.
Amazing how sheep'll show up for the slaughter.
No one condemning you, lined up like lemmings you led to the water.
Why can't they see what I see? Why can't they hear the lies? Maybe the fee's too pricy for them to realize, your disguise is slipping.
I think you're slipping.
Now that your saviour is still as the grave you're beginning to fear me like cavemen fear thunder l still have to wonder can you really hear me? I bring you pain, the kind you can't suffer quietly.
Fire up your brain, remind you inside your rioting society is slipping.
Everything's slipping away so go ahead, run away, say it was horrible, spread the word, tell a friend, tell them the tale, get a pic, do a blog.
Heroes are over with.
Look at him! Not a word! Hammer meet nail.
Then I win, then I get everything I ever All the cash, all the fame and social change.
Anarchy that I run.
It's Dr.
Horrible's turn.
You people all have to learn.
This world is going to burn.
Burn! Yeah, it's two Rs.
H-O-R-R Burn! No sign of Penny.
Good, I would give anything not to have her see.
It's gonna be bloody.
Head up, Billy buddy.
There's no time for mercy.
Here goes no mercy.
That's not a good sound.
way! A death ray! Looks like Dr.
Horrible's moving up! Let's see if this one works any better than your others.
Don't! I don't have time for your warnings.
You give my regards to Saint Peter or whoever has his job but in hell.
Oh, I'm in pain! I think this is what pain feels like.
Oh, mother! Someone maternal! Get out of my way! I gotta get out.
Penny! Penny! Penny! Billy? Is that you? Penny, hold on.
Oh no.
No, no, no, no! - Are you alright? - Hold on.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Captain Hammer will save us.
Penny! Dr.
Horrible! Why did you kill her? Dr.
Horrible! Here lies everything, the world I wanted at my feet.
My victory's complete.
So hail to the king.
Everything you ever Arise and sing.
So your world's benign.
So you think justice has a voice and we all have a choice.
Well now your world is mine.
Everything you ever And I am fine.
right here, in my heart, and it hurts inside Now the nightmare's real.
Now Dr.
Horrible is here.
To make you quake with fear.
To make the whole world kneel.
Everything you ever And I won't feel a thing.