Drop Dead Diva s01e03 Episode Script
Do Over
See that aspiring model there? That was me-- Deb-- until the day I died.
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Counselor.
Hello, Counselor.
For god's sake, Counselor, do you even know what you're doing? - Um - Are you gonna call any witnesses? Yes sir.
Y- yes, your honor.
I do.
I am calling my first witness.
Yes? Would my first witness step right up! Lovely Deb Dobkins, it's time to play "What's the verdict?" Please, show the witness what she's won.
The moment we've been waiting for-- What's behind the curtain? - What was behind the curtain? - I don't know.
I have had this dream every night for a week and I never get to see what's behind the curtain.
Maybe it's a pony.
Or Ewan McGregor.
Maybe it's Ewan McGregor riding a pony! - Stacy! - Right.
Focus.
I am terrified in these dreams.
I have no idea what I'm doing in court.
You know what Dr.
Oz would say? These are stress dreams.
That's all.
- I mean, look at yourself.
- Do I have to? You've gone into that office every single day and acted all lawyerly for three weeks straight.
- When have you ever worked this hard? - Hello.
Miami.
The "body tan" shoot.
Hello.
That was one week.
And you were on a yacht.
You know what those dreams are telling you? You need a break.
Pack a bag, hon.
We're going on a road trip.
Palm Springs.
I can be ready to go in 15 minutes.
Really? I thought you had an audition today.
New career strategy.
I reject them before they reject me.
Face it, I'm a model.
No one's hiring me to act.
Come on, we leave now, we can be neck deep in mud by noon.
You know what, sold! I'm gonna go get dressed.
Pick me up at work in an hour.
- No.
No work.
- It's payday.
Somewhere in that building, there's a paycheck with my name on it.
And when I find it, Palm Springs is on me.
- What do you say? - I say see you in an hour.
- Malpractice? - Oh, it gets better.
Malpractice against a shrink.
And I know how much you love the shrinks.
But it's your case.
Was my case.
I'm bowing out.
Conflict of interest.
- What was the conflict? - My interest.
I was sitting in the middle of a depo.
You know what I realized? Life is short.
This is what I have associates for.
You have an appearance in 45 minutes.
Don't mess it up.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Casual Wednesday? Oh.
I've got a business trip in Palm Springs for Continuing legal education? Yes.
That.
What you just said.
You mind if the new guy rides shotgun on this one? Good thinking, Kaswell.
We can bill him out, and you can show him the ropes.
Seriously, are all your clothes at the dry cleaners again? Um, I'm fine.
Let's get you into something a little less comfortable.
I'm taking the day off, Teri.
Yeah, right.
Since when do you say the words "day off"? I just came in to get my paycheck.
Speaking of which, where do I get my paycheck? Bingum you look different.
Did you do something to your hair? - No, I - We've got a situation.
Walk with me.
- Follow me.
- Bad news, worst news.
- What do you want to hear first? - I Your friend Judge Summers called this morning.
She's vacating the verdict in Mason v.
Ocean Park Trucking.
- You've got to be kidding me! - Is that the bad news? Jury misconduct.
Turns out one of the jurors failed to disclose a brother-in-law who worked for Ocean Park Trucking.
But Jane kicked ass on that trial.
That win won you the corner office.
- And how could I forget that? - Well, you're gonna have to kick that ass again.
There's gonna be a retrial.
Judge Summers wants to see you in chambers in an hour.
An hour? No, no, no, no, that's not gonna work for me.
- I know you have the memory of an elephant-- - Hey! It's a saying.
Not actionable.
I had them pull every transcript, depo, and motion from the first Mason trial in case there's anything you need to review.
Get to work, Bingum.
Okay, repeat it back to me, from memory this time.
Carl Mason drove trucks for Ocean Park Trucking.
He was killed when he fell asleep at the wheel.
- I represent his widow, Annie.
- Angie.
- Angie Angie.
- Angie.
Angie has a 9-year-old son named Michael.
Without her husband's income, they were about to be foreclosed on when you proved in court That Ocean Park Trucking coerced him into driving dangerous and illegal double shifts.
I won a kick-ass judgment and saved their house.
I'm so good.
- Any questions? - Just one.
I just came in 'cause it's payday.
Do you think all this could wait till next week? I don't know.
Why don't you ask them? Angie and Michael Mason? What are they doing here? The case is being re-tried, which means they never received the money they won.
I'm guessing she's worried they're gonna lose their house.
- Are they? - No.
But they need to hear it from you.
Tell her it's gonna be all right.
Jane, I know we should have called first, but when I got the news-- It's gonna be all right.
How can they have another trial? We already won.
Well, we're gonna win again.
I promise.
Clearly, I am missing something here.
I don't understand.
What I'm saying is, maybe we could push the trial just a few days I understand what a continuance is, Ms.
Bingum.
What I don't understand is why you're asking for one.
Well, first of all, I need time to prepare.
Prepare? What's to prepare? It's like giving birth.
I've never actually done that.
The point is, it is a re-trial.
You've already done it once.
And besides, you're the most thoroughly prepared lawyer I know.
I'm sure you're really good at stuff, too.
Honestly I really need a mental health day.
- I'm supposed to be on my way to the desert.
- Counsel.
My best friend, Stacy, is in my office right now with a cooler and an iPod loaded with road-trip music.
Is there something wrong with you? I mean, in the head, in the noggin, upstairs? What? No.
- I heard you got shot.
- It's true.
I did.
Did it affect your ability to reason, your judgment? Nope.
Total flesh wound.
Didn't even feel it.
If you say so.
My calendar is a mess.
I want this off my docket.
We start immediately.
Get out of my office.
Have a lovely day.
"Mental health day.
" I'd like a mental health month-- Maybe a year-- Somewhere in the islands, string bikini, a thong a guy named Wong.
For the first year, Jake and I had the kind of marriage that made our friends jealous.
Until his second personality emerged? - Believe me, I know how that sounds.
- Dissociative identity disorder.
- You're familiar with it? - Very familiar.
Really? I watched a lot of "all my children" when I was studying for the bar.
I know it seems far-fetched.
But trust me, it is real.
Simon could not be more different than Jake.
Simon is the man he turned into? Jake is your basic type-a, adventure-seeking "let's climb the Matterhorn this summer" frat boy.
That's the guy I fell for.
Simon should work for the I.
R.
S.
He's cranky.
He hates people, spends all day in the library will only eat foods that are white.
- You know the type? - I've dated them.
- If he were a dwarf, he'd be grumpy.
- Exactly.
I would come home from work, and I wouldn't know which guy I was getting.
I found this Dr.
Farrar who specialized in this condition and I convinced Jake to go.
She treated him for six months, and she got rid of one of the personalities, all right-- The wrong one.
- So now you're stuck with Simon? - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Why do you think I'm suing? - Um, we'll be right in.
- Okay.
You sure about this? Psychiatric malpractice is always a gamble but we limit our scope to negligent treatment I think we've got a pretty strong case.
- You're the boss.
- Not yet.
But someday.
This is a waste of my time.
- Your honor, you haven't even-- - That's why we're moving for summary judgment.
It seems to me Dr.
Farrar did exactly what she was supposed to do.
She was given a patient with multiple personalities and she sent back a patient with a single personality.
With all due respect, that's not the whole-- I'm inclined to grant defense's motion on summary judgment.
Your honor, we'd like to amend the complaint.
- Excuse me? - We're not suing for malpractice.
Then what exactly are you suing for? Wrongful death.
Are you kidding me? - No one died! - Counselor.
Now, hear me out, your honor.
The man that Selette Garner fell in love with no longer exists.
His thoughts, his hopes, his memories-- all gone.
Everything that made Jake Garner Jake Garner has been extinguished.
So it's not a joke, your honor, not to our client.
Jake Garner is dead.
Dr.
Farrar is responsible.
You've got my attention.
- You cannot be serious.
- I've just adjudicated six bankruptcies and two zoning disputes.
Finally, something interesting.
- Your honor-- - Don't "your honor" me.
I want to see if there's a case here.
I'm agreeing to a brief evidentiary hearing.
Witnesses tomorrow.
Fred.
The mail's on the floor.
Who is she and why does she make me feel the way I feel? Who, Stacy? Oh, no, no, no, no.
We are not doing this.
You are here for me, Fred.
You're not supposed to be ogling my friends.
Are you even allowed to ogle? Isn't that against guardian angel rules? I've heard about physical attraction before.
Chemically, I-- I understand it but I've never experienced it.
- What, you've never had a crush? - U- up there, all I meet are dead people.
Well, forget it, okay? Stacy's out of your league.
You'll be setting yourself up for a world of hurt.
No, no.
Y- you don't understand.
I- I look at this Stacy and I- I can't help it.
I want to-- I want to do her grocery shopping.
I want to-- I want to reroof her house.
I want to hunt animals and - bring her the meat.
- Okay, I don't have time for this, Fred.
But I'm telling you-- It's never gonna happen.
So just keep your meat to yourself.
Really no road trip? I'm sorry.
She wouldn't postpone it.
I tried everything, and she got all judge-y on me.
But at least you could go to your audition.
Already missed it.
- Hey, Grayson didn't see you, did he? - I've been hiding in here the whole time.
But sooner or later, you're gonna have to explain how we know each other.
I pick later.
Here.
Um I was gonna wait until we got to Palm Springs to show you this - I made the paper! - There's a "but".
- Don't freak out.
- Okay.
- That's not me! - Mnh-mnh.
They put in the wrong picture? Why does this always happen? I can't even die right.
Don't worry.
We'll fix it.
I found some awesome pictures of you.
We'll take one of these down to the paper and make them rerun it-- Look.
Spring break in Cabo.
That was the best.
What about this one in the hot tub? I mean, that would make an amazing obituary photo.
I don't know.
It's my final photo.
A lasting impression.
I just want it to be dignified.
And it will be.
They can totally photoshop a bikini back on you.
I am going to go home, crank up my thermostat and pretend I'm in the desert.
Excuse me.
Whew.
I Some guardian angel.
How could you let them screw up my obituary? The last time I talked to Carl was the night of the accident.
He was in Santa Fe, and he called to tell us that he would see us the following day.
Because he missed you? Because his boss was insisting that he push on through to L.
A.
- Objection, your honor.
Hearsay.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
This would be a hearsay exception seeing as how Carl Mason is unavailable due to him being dead.
- Overruled.
- Nice try.
the department of transportation's "hours of service" regulation, is that right? Yes.
There's an 11-hour limit.
My husband knew that.
But the company didn't care.
They had what they called "prioritadruns" and Carl's boss used to encourage Carl and the others to drive 16, 18 hours at a time.
And by "encourage", you mean They said if he couldn't meet the deadline, regardless of regulations he shouldn't bother coming back to work.
That's why he was driving all night, to save his job.
Your witness.
I just have one question, Mrs.
Mason.
Who was it that fell asleep behind the wheel? Was it your husband, or was it Ocean Park Trucking Incorporated? - My husband.
- Redirect, your honor.
Who tucks your son in at night, you or Ocean Park Trucking Incorporated? - Your honor.
- You started it, Mr.
Sebell.
You can answer the question.
I do.
Now it's just me.
Just you.
Does Michael still ask about his dad? Every night.
The same question-- "When's dad coming home?" Counselor, are you okay? I need a moment.
And what do you tell him? I tell him that his dad is always with him always loves him and I pray to God that as he gets older, Michael doesn't forget his father.
He won't.
You've got to be kidding me! Your honor! Objection! Counsel's using a flagrant display of emotion to try and sway the jury! - No more questions.
- Um, counsel, approach please.
I'm sorry.
It's just This isn't dinner theater.
Are you on some kind of medication? Is this post-traumatic stress? No.
It's just so sad.
This little kid And he won't see his father.
It just-- it gets you.
I do not know what is going on with you, Jane.
But turn off the waterworks and pull yourself together, okay? The last thing that you want is another mistrial.
- Are we clear? - Yes.
Good.
Counselor, please show the court what's behind the curtain.
It's obvious.
The dream means the Jane in you is trying to destroy the Deb in you.
- No, come on.
- And she's succeeding.
- That's not true.
- It's a little true.
Think about it.
The only reason we're not in Palm Springs right now is 'cause you had to work at your job.
I'm trying to help my client and her kid.
- Sue me for caring.
- Sue yourself.
- You're the lawyer.
- You know something? The only reason you wanted to go to Palm Springs was because you need an excuse to miss another audition.
- Take that back.
- No, admit it.
You are terrified of making the model-to-actress leap.
That is so not true.
It's a little true.
So, you think about that.
I'm gonna be late.
Have a good day, Jane.
Fred, what are you doing here? I'm a messenger.
It's my job.
I deliver stuff.
Uh, here.
I got your check.
You could have given this to me at the office.
I figured you might need it immediately.
I'm thoughtful that way.
Fred, go back to the office.
Don't do this.
Did we get a new UPS guy? Where's Pedro? Um, hi.
Uh, Stacy, right? I'm Fred.
You probably remember me from Jane's office.
You've probably heard her talk about me.
No.
Kind of, uh, keep everything running over there.
I coordinate document delivery and retrieval.
He's a messenger, who was just leaving.
Uh, but before I do, I was wondering if you would like to share a meal with me At a- a nice restaurant.
I can pay.
Oh, you're asking me out.
So sweet.
I'm sorry.
I'm just not in that place right now.
Say hi to Pedro for me.
What-- What does that mean? That's just something we say.
So, when do you think she's gonna be in that place? Never, Fred.
She's saying she's never going to be in that place.
- Mr.
Parker.
- I heard there was blubbering.
Excuse me? Judge summers called.
She was not happy.
It wasn't blubbering.
I may have showed emotion.
You know why I hired you, Bingum? I watched you in court.
You were rock solid without any of the other nonsense-- The drama, the blubbering.
I'm still rock solid.
Feel these arms.
Whatever you did with this trial the first time, do it again.
Don't worry.
Apparently, I won this trial last time with a whistle-blower.
He goes back on the stand today.
By the end of the day, the trial will be over.
No more emotion.
Make it so.
"Feel these arms"? Not only did I do nothing wrong, my treatment was so successful I'm submitting this case to psychiatric journals.
Did your protocol follow the American Psychiatric Association guidelines? To a "T".
Your witness.
Dr.
Farrar, when Selette Garner first came to see you did you tell her you could help her husband? Yes, I diagnosed dissociative identity disorder and told her I could treat him.
Did you tell her that you would restore Jake her husband's personality, that you could get rid of Simon? I did.
Is the fact that you failed miserably going to be in the first paragraph of your journal article? Your honor.
It's a good question.
I did not fail.
During the course of treatment, I discovered that Jake the personality that Selette first met, was not the original personality.
Jake was an elaborate and long-standing construct.
He-- He never really existed.
Simon was the original personality.
I did my job.
I cured him.
When your patient paid for his visits what name did he sign on his checks? Jake Garner.
And his medical consent form, same thing, Jake Garner? - That's right.
But you have to-- - Then tell me.
If Jake Garner wasn't a real person, if he was a construct, as you say how is the consent form he signed even valid? And haven't you committed fraud by cashing those checks? No further questions.
I look forward to reading your article, Doctor.
Jane? I'm-- I'm sorry.
I-- I didn't think you were here.
- I- I didn't think-- - She took a good picture.
She was beautiful.
Hello, hello.
Am I interrupting? No.
Jane, your face is all red.
Are you blushing? No.
I was running laps earlier.
What's up? Um, Parker wanted to know if we were free for dinner, update him on the case.
- 8:00? - Sure.
Excuse me.
I'm due in court.
You might want to get an ointment or cream.
She is unbelievable! - What? - "Dinner with Parker.
" That girl is like a venus flytrap with boobs.
Parker never has dinner with associates.
Mr.
Sagansky, thank you for joining us again.
How long did you work as a truck driver for Ocean Park Trucking? Nine years.
And do you recognize the president of Ocean Park Trucking in this room? Yeah, that's Mr.
Hall, right there.
And sitting next to him? That's Gary Monroe, V.
P.
of operations.
Mr.
Sagansky, is it true that on at least six different occasions Mr.
Monroe threatened to fire you if you refused to drive an illegal double shift? No.
And isn't it true that-- Excuse me? I said no.
No, he didn't threaten to fire you on six different occasions? No, he didn't.
No one at that company ever asked me to drive a double shift.
Do you maybe want to take a moment and try answering that question again? Objection.
Asked and answered.
Twice.
Yeah, I can count, counselor.
Sustained.
But your honor, he's Permission to treat Mr.
Sagansky as a hostile witness.
Proceed.
in this room and testified that executives at Ocean Park Trucking told you to break regulations and coerced you into driving illegal double shifts.
Were you lying then, or are you lying now? because my friend Carl had been killed and I was looking for someone to blame.
- Are you kidding me?! - Counsel.
But, your honor, aren't you gonna do anything about this? - Objection.
- We're gonna take a recess.
What?! No! It's all in the transcript! This isn't fair! How much did they pay you to change your story? Your honor, objection.
Uh, Ms.
Bingum? I am warning you.
Zip it.
Me?! What about him?! This witness is, quite obviously, a big, fat, fricking liar.
- Okay, that's it.
- And if you can't see it you might as well trade in that polyester robe for a big fuzzy muumuu! Enough, okay?! Bailiff, take Ms.
Bingum into custody! - I'm holding her in contempt.
- What? What? What did I say? Thank you.
I'm not talking to you.
What are you gonna do, hold your breath till I leave? Come on.
You know, I always thought that you could have a little more passion in the courtroom but I think you overcompensated.
You know what happened in court today wasn't fair.
"Fair"? Do you remember the summer you clerked for me? Um vaguely.
The Turner case.
I planted a flag.
Equal pay for equal work.
I was overturned on appeal.
That wasn't fair.
- Remember what you told me? - Vaguely.
That the system was about due process.
That if I wanted fair, I should go to a fairgrounds.
I said that to you? Did you slap me? No.
But maybe I should have.
You're going through something, aren't you? You're not the same.
I'm not.
You want to tell me about it? You wouldn't believe me if I did.
Okay.
I'm gonna have to keep you in here till about 9:00.
Otherwise, everyone's gonna think I've gone soft.
After that, have someone from your firm come and sign you out, all right? But Jane think about getting some help.
I'll see you in court.
Uh, I apologize on Parker's behalf.
His last-minute text cancelation-- very tacky.
It's okay.
Well, we'll just get even-- Order the most expensive things on the menu and bill him.
If you'd still like to eat.
I'm not gonna turn down a free meal.
Um, may we have the wine list, please? Thank you.
So I guess we just update each other.
Your case seems to be going well.
Thanks to you.
Wrongful death? Stroke of genius.
When we win, I'll make sure Parker knows.
- Oh, it's fine.
You don't have to.
- Oh, don't do that.
Quietly competent doesn't make partner.
Did that just sound really cutthroat? No.
Okay, you need to work on your poker face.
Sorry, I should get that.
It might be Parker.
Oh, just let it go.
I can't imagine what he-- Hello? Jane? Is everything all right? Where are you? Can people actually kill themselves with shoelaces? I'll let you know.
I'm so sorry I ruined your night.
- Jane, it's fine.
- No, I- I tried Teri.
- I even tried the new mailroom guy.
- Stop apologizing.
You didn't ruin anything.
Parker never even showed.
You don't say.
You really called him a liar to his face right in the middle of court? Actually, I think my exact words were "Big, fat, fricking liar", but I'd have to check the transcript.
And then I have to burn the transcript.
Hey, you showed the jury you cared.
Yeah, I cared so much I got thrown into jail.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
I have no idea how I'm gonna win this case.
Without my whistle-blower How do you prove they are big, fat, fricking liars? Sometimes you don't have to prove it at all.
- Remember trial advocacy? - Are they a band? Funny.
You don't always have to prove that they're liars.
You just have to get them to believe that you can prove it.
Sometimes, it's not about the law at all.
Sometimes - It's just acting.
- Exactly.
- What? - Oh, nothing.
It's just I don't know if I'm ever gonna get used to you-- To people-- talking to me like I'm a lawyer.
If we're being honest I still feel like a fraud every time I step into a courtroom like I'm wearing my dad's suit, and it's all pretend.
Except it's not, not to my clients.
Well, then it's a good thing they've got you.
I thought you put me in rapture I never asked you to dump her - This is a terrible idea.
- No, it's not.
Hey, think of it as an acting job.
This could help me win my case.
Okay, how do I look like the owner of a small business? Yeah sure in a porno movie.
All right, come here.
We can work with this.
I don't know, Jane.
I think you were right.
I keep skipping auditions, 'cause what if I'm a model who can't act? Listen to me.
You are Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Oh, here you go.
I even made you a business card.
Oh, I love props! 'Cause I'm not cool - Excuse me! - Yes.
- Are you Mr.
Monroe? - Yes, I am.
I own a small produce company and we have what I'd call a shipping emergency.
- How can I help you, Ms.
Barrett? - I have 1,500 South American cantaloupes sitting on a dock in San Pedro that need to be in Chicago by 6:00 p.
m.
tomorrow night or I lose my biggest client.
- 6:00 p.
m.
2,000 miles.
- Yeah.
That's cutting it a little bit close.
Please, Mr.
Monroe.
I'm desperate.
Can you help me get my melons to Chicago? My name is Simon, Simon Sewey.
You've had that name and personality how long? Since I was born.
Who is Jake Garner? Jake was a born frat boy, you know? Loved a good dirty joke, everybody's best friend, you know? Well, did very well with women.
And Jake met Selette the summer after graduation.
It was Jake who proposed.
When did Simon-- Or when did you-- re-emerge.
Well, after the wedding, when things calmed down and they mo-- Uh we moved I started showing up again.
And it was then that she sent me to see Lois.
I mean, uh, Dr.
Farrar.
Thank you.
So you're Simon pretty much all the time now.
And Jake is nowhere to be seen.
Why do you suppose that is? I don't know.
Maybe it's because of Dr.
Farrar's treatment.
Dr.
Farrar got rid of Jake.
She made it safe for me to assert myself.
How did she do that? It was a combination of medication and intensive sessions.
She, uh-- she told me it was okay for me to be myself.
She-- She showed me compassion.
In her office? Um Did Dr.
Farrar-- Did Lois-- Ever show you compassion outside of her office? Remember, you're under oath.
Yes or no-- Did you ever see your doctor outside of the office? Yes.
Just one more question.
Are you sleeping with your psychiatrist, Simon? - Is that why she got rid of Jake? - Objection, your honor! - It's a fair question! - Do not answer that! You bitch! I sent you my husband so you could help him, and you slept with him?! Never.
I only slept with Simon.
I never touched Jake.
Oh, well, guess what, doc?! They share a penis! Ladies, ladies.
Come on, there's enough of this to go around.
Ooh.
Jake? How you doing, baby? Show's over people! I want to see counsel in my chambers now! Even if she slept with him, and I'm not stipulating it-- She just admitted it in open court.
The fact that her husband isn't dead is our defense.
Enough, both of you.
As entertaining as this has been, there's only so much a judge can take.
I've reached a decision.
Mr.
Browers is right.
- I don't see wrongful death here.
- Thank you, your honor.
That case will not be moving forward.
In which case, we wish to refile malpractice.
- Excuse me? - Dr.
Farrar didn't kill anyone but she did sleep with her patient.
I don't know about you, but that sure sounds like malpractice to me.
File the paperwork.
We'll hear witnesses Monday morning.
Thank you, your honor.
Come on, babe I know it's complicated, but we can figure this out.
- Forget it, Jake.
- Actually, it's Simon.
Oh, well, Simon, Jake, whatever.
It's over.
I'm breaking up with both of you.
Should we see if she wants us to handle the divorce? There's not enough money in the world.
My name is Gary Monroe.
I am the vice president of operations for Ocean Park Trucking.
Mr.
Monroe, are you familiar with the department of transportation's "hours of service" regulations? Of course.
It's my job to be.
And how often would you say you encourage your drivers-- Or coerce them-- To break those regulations? Never.
At Ocean Park Trucking, we value the safety of our drivers above all else.
Even if that means you can't deliver on time for a client? Ms.
Bingum, you're not listening.
We wouldn't even accept a job in the first place if it meant we had to violate D.
O.
T.
regs.
- Really? - Yes, really.
Are we done? Counsel? Look, we know what's going on here.
This is a big waste of everybody's time.
Is it, now? Mr.
Monroe, do you recognize the woman who just entered the courtroom? Objection.
We received no notice of an additional witness.
She's not a witness, your honor, not yet.
For now, think of her as exhibit "A".
Stacy Barrett, step right up! Your honor, this is trial by ambush.
This is the first we've heard of any Stacy Barrett.
Oh, really? Then why does your witness look like he's about to pass out? I suspect he's familiar with her.
Did you need some water, Mr.
Monroe? Counsel, is there a problem? Your honor, we'd, uh-- We'd like a short recess.
Fine.
We'll take 10 minutes.
Welcome back, counselor.
Thank you.
Seems there's going to be a change in management at Ocean Park Trucking.
Hall and Monroe are out, and your check is on its way.
We-- we can stay in our house? Honey, you can add a second story.
I know I've said this before, but thank you again, Jane.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad I could help again.
Take care of each other.
Thank you.
So? That's a good feeling.
Tell me about the settlement.
Same as last time? - More or less.
- More or less? Well, take the first figure and double it.
- Not bad.
- Now double it again.
Really? Oh, Mr.
Parker, how was poker last night? Don't ask.
Never ask.
The guy hasn't missed a Thursday night poker game in, like, 10 years.
You got to admire that commitment.
Haven't seen you around all day.
I won my case.
I heard.
What's wrong? Are you mad at me? Nah.
What you said before about Stacy, that she's out of my league it was-- it was harsh.
But I guess it's true.
Fred, I-- I didn't mean it.
No.
Yeah, you-- you did.
And I should have listened to you the first time.
No.
I didn't use the right words.
I-- I wasn't being sensitive to Fred, I haven't known you very long.
I'm not exactly sure what you are, let alone who.
But from what I can tell, you're in a league of your own.
And sooner or later, you will find a girl who wants season tickets to that league, to your league and okay, I know I'm smart now, but I'm not making sense, am I? I'm just confused and it hurts.
What about this-- the sea is filled with many fish.
Yeah, s- stop.
Look, I- I-- I know I'm-- I'm supposed to be your guardian angel.
But I'm new here and you kind of have to be mine a little bit, too.
Just tell me.
Could someone like me ever wind up with someone like I mean, is-- Is it really impossible? Look at me, Fred.
Anything's possible.
I'm coming home Hey.
I was just trying to I.
M.
you.
God, that was a good day, huh? I'm still buzzing.
Parker was never coming to dinner last night, was he? What? Of course he was.
No, he just Kim, it wasn't a question.
I know.
Well, I- I wanted to Um I wanted to have dinner with you, and-- You thought you had to manipulate me into going? - It's kind of my default.
- Yeah? How's that working for you? I lost Deb less than a month ago.
I don't need to be manipulated right now.
I'm sorry.
The thing is, if you had just called and asked "Hey, you want to grab something to eat?" I would have said yes.
Oh, my god I nearly I am telling you, I was so good.
I was in the moment.
I actually believed I had 1,500 rotting melons in San Pedro.
If there was an academy award for best produce company president in a pending lawsuit you'd totally be nominated.
Nominated? I'd totally win.
Whoo-hoo! I'm so sorry about Palm Springs.
I'll try not to let work get in the way of everything.
Palm Springs will always be there.
What about next week? Any day but Wednesday.
I have an audition, and I'm going.
To you.
To making the leap.
To Cameron Diaz.
Oh, my God.
I totally forgot.
Look.
Today's.
They reran your obituary.
Stace, you are the best.
How did you do this? Me? I don't have that picture.
I thought it was you.
When I saw you in that dress I felt alone for the first time Since I left home Hey.
Hi.
Uh, I was heading out, and I saw you were working late and, uh I don't know.
I was wondering if you'd like to grab something to eat.
That would be nice.
::: Timecodes - gius :::
I thought I'd go straight to heaven, but there was a bit of a mix-up and I woke up in someone else's body.
So now I'm Jane a super-busy lawyer with my very own assistant.
I got a new life, a new wardrobe, and the only people who really know what's going on with me are my girlfriend Stacy and my guardian angel, Fred.
I used to think everything happened for a reason and, well, I sure hope I was right.
Counselor.
Hello, Counselor.
For god's sake, Counselor, do you even know what you're doing? - Um - Are you gonna call any witnesses? Yes sir.
Y- yes, your honor.
I do.
I am calling my first witness.
Yes? Would my first witness step right up! Lovely Deb Dobkins, it's time to play "What's the verdict?" Please, show the witness what she's won.
The moment we've been waiting for-- What's behind the curtain? - What was behind the curtain? - I don't know.
I have had this dream every night for a week and I never get to see what's behind the curtain.
Maybe it's a pony.
Or Ewan McGregor.
Maybe it's Ewan McGregor riding a pony! - Stacy! - Right.
Focus.
I am terrified in these dreams.
I have no idea what I'm doing in court.
You know what Dr.
Oz would say? These are stress dreams.
That's all.
- I mean, look at yourself.
- Do I have to? You've gone into that office every single day and acted all lawyerly for three weeks straight.
- When have you ever worked this hard? - Hello.
Miami.
The "body tan" shoot.
Hello.
That was one week.
And you were on a yacht.
You know what those dreams are telling you? You need a break.
Pack a bag, hon.
We're going on a road trip.
Palm Springs.
I can be ready to go in 15 minutes.
Really? I thought you had an audition today.
New career strategy.
I reject them before they reject me.
Face it, I'm a model.
No one's hiring me to act.
Come on, we leave now, we can be neck deep in mud by noon.
You know what, sold! I'm gonna go get dressed.
Pick me up at work in an hour.
- No.
No work.
- It's payday.
Somewhere in that building, there's a paycheck with my name on it.
And when I find it, Palm Springs is on me.
- What do you say? - I say see you in an hour.
- Malpractice? - Oh, it gets better.
Malpractice against a shrink.
And I know how much you love the shrinks.
But it's your case.
Was my case.
I'm bowing out.
Conflict of interest.
- What was the conflict? - My interest.
I was sitting in the middle of a depo.
You know what I realized? Life is short.
This is what I have associates for.
You have an appearance in 45 minutes.
Don't mess it up.
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
Casual Wednesday? Oh.
I've got a business trip in Palm Springs for Continuing legal education? Yes.
That.
What you just said.
You mind if the new guy rides shotgun on this one? Good thinking, Kaswell.
We can bill him out, and you can show him the ropes.
Seriously, are all your clothes at the dry cleaners again? Um, I'm fine.
Let's get you into something a little less comfortable.
I'm taking the day off, Teri.
Yeah, right.
Since when do you say the words "day off"? I just came in to get my paycheck.
Speaking of which, where do I get my paycheck? Bingum you look different.
Did you do something to your hair? - No, I - We've got a situation.
Walk with me.
- Follow me.
- Bad news, worst news.
- What do you want to hear first? - I Your friend Judge Summers called this morning.
She's vacating the verdict in Mason v.
Ocean Park Trucking.
- You've got to be kidding me! - Is that the bad news? Jury misconduct.
Turns out one of the jurors failed to disclose a brother-in-law who worked for Ocean Park Trucking.
But Jane kicked ass on that trial.
That win won you the corner office.
- And how could I forget that? - Well, you're gonna have to kick that ass again.
There's gonna be a retrial.
Judge Summers wants to see you in chambers in an hour.
An hour? No, no, no, no, that's not gonna work for me.
- I know you have the memory of an elephant-- - Hey! It's a saying.
Not actionable.
I had them pull every transcript, depo, and motion from the first Mason trial in case there's anything you need to review.
Get to work, Bingum.
Okay, repeat it back to me, from memory this time.
Carl Mason drove trucks for Ocean Park Trucking.
He was killed when he fell asleep at the wheel.
- I represent his widow, Annie.
- Angie.
- Angie Angie.
- Angie.
Angie has a 9-year-old son named Michael.
Without her husband's income, they were about to be foreclosed on when you proved in court That Ocean Park Trucking coerced him into driving dangerous and illegal double shifts.
I won a kick-ass judgment and saved their house.
I'm so good.
- Any questions? - Just one.
I just came in 'cause it's payday.
Do you think all this could wait till next week? I don't know.
Why don't you ask them? Angie and Michael Mason? What are they doing here? The case is being re-tried, which means they never received the money they won.
I'm guessing she's worried they're gonna lose their house.
- Are they? - No.
But they need to hear it from you.
Tell her it's gonna be all right.
Jane, I know we should have called first, but when I got the news-- It's gonna be all right.
How can they have another trial? We already won.
Well, we're gonna win again.
I promise.
Clearly, I am missing something here.
I don't understand.
What I'm saying is, maybe we could push the trial just a few days I understand what a continuance is, Ms.
Bingum.
What I don't understand is why you're asking for one.
Well, first of all, I need time to prepare.
Prepare? What's to prepare? It's like giving birth.
I've never actually done that.
The point is, it is a re-trial.
You've already done it once.
And besides, you're the most thoroughly prepared lawyer I know.
I'm sure you're really good at stuff, too.
Honestly I really need a mental health day.
- I'm supposed to be on my way to the desert.
- Counsel.
My best friend, Stacy, is in my office right now with a cooler and an iPod loaded with road-trip music.
Is there something wrong with you? I mean, in the head, in the noggin, upstairs? What? No.
- I heard you got shot.
- It's true.
I did.
Did it affect your ability to reason, your judgment? Nope.
Total flesh wound.
Didn't even feel it.
If you say so.
My calendar is a mess.
I want this off my docket.
We start immediately.
Get out of my office.
Have a lovely day.
"Mental health day.
" I'd like a mental health month-- Maybe a year-- Somewhere in the islands, string bikini, a thong a guy named Wong.
For the first year, Jake and I had the kind of marriage that made our friends jealous.
Until his second personality emerged? - Believe me, I know how that sounds.
- Dissociative identity disorder.
- You're familiar with it? - Very familiar.
Really? I watched a lot of "all my children" when I was studying for the bar.
I know it seems far-fetched.
But trust me, it is real.
Simon could not be more different than Jake.
Simon is the man he turned into? Jake is your basic type-a, adventure-seeking "let's climb the Matterhorn this summer" frat boy.
That's the guy I fell for.
Simon should work for the I.
R.
S.
He's cranky.
He hates people, spends all day in the library will only eat foods that are white.
- You know the type? - I've dated them.
- If he were a dwarf, he'd be grumpy.
- Exactly.
I would come home from work, and I wouldn't know which guy I was getting.
I found this Dr.
Farrar who specialized in this condition and I convinced Jake to go.
She treated him for six months, and she got rid of one of the personalities, all right-- The wrong one.
- So now you're stuck with Simon? - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Why do you think I'm suing? - Um, we'll be right in.
- Okay.
You sure about this? Psychiatric malpractice is always a gamble but we limit our scope to negligent treatment I think we've got a pretty strong case.
- You're the boss.
- Not yet.
But someday.
This is a waste of my time.
- Your honor, you haven't even-- - That's why we're moving for summary judgment.
It seems to me Dr.
Farrar did exactly what she was supposed to do.
She was given a patient with multiple personalities and she sent back a patient with a single personality.
With all due respect, that's not the whole-- I'm inclined to grant defense's motion on summary judgment.
Your honor, we'd like to amend the complaint.
- Excuse me? - We're not suing for malpractice.
Then what exactly are you suing for? Wrongful death.
Are you kidding me? - No one died! - Counselor.
Now, hear me out, your honor.
The man that Selette Garner fell in love with no longer exists.
His thoughts, his hopes, his memories-- all gone.
Everything that made Jake Garner Jake Garner has been extinguished.
So it's not a joke, your honor, not to our client.
Jake Garner is dead.
Dr.
Farrar is responsible.
You've got my attention.
- You cannot be serious.
- I've just adjudicated six bankruptcies and two zoning disputes.
Finally, something interesting.
- Your honor-- - Don't "your honor" me.
I want to see if there's a case here.
I'm agreeing to a brief evidentiary hearing.
Witnesses tomorrow.
Fred.
The mail's on the floor.
Who is she and why does she make me feel the way I feel? Who, Stacy? Oh, no, no, no, no.
We are not doing this.
You are here for me, Fred.
You're not supposed to be ogling my friends.
Are you even allowed to ogle? Isn't that against guardian angel rules? I've heard about physical attraction before.
Chemically, I-- I understand it but I've never experienced it.
- What, you've never had a crush? - U- up there, all I meet are dead people.
Well, forget it, okay? Stacy's out of your league.
You'll be setting yourself up for a world of hurt.
No, no.
Y- you don't understand.
I- I look at this Stacy and I- I can't help it.
I want to-- I want to do her grocery shopping.
I want to-- I want to reroof her house.
I want to hunt animals and - bring her the meat.
- Okay, I don't have time for this, Fred.
But I'm telling you-- It's never gonna happen.
So just keep your meat to yourself.
Really no road trip? I'm sorry.
She wouldn't postpone it.
I tried everything, and she got all judge-y on me.
But at least you could go to your audition.
Already missed it.
- Hey, Grayson didn't see you, did he? - I've been hiding in here the whole time.
But sooner or later, you're gonna have to explain how we know each other.
I pick later.
Here.
Um I was gonna wait until we got to Palm Springs to show you this - I made the paper! - There's a "but".
- Don't freak out.
- Okay.
- That's not me! - Mnh-mnh.
They put in the wrong picture? Why does this always happen? I can't even die right.
Don't worry.
We'll fix it.
I found some awesome pictures of you.
We'll take one of these down to the paper and make them rerun it-- Look.
Spring break in Cabo.
That was the best.
What about this one in the hot tub? I mean, that would make an amazing obituary photo.
I don't know.
It's my final photo.
A lasting impression.
I just want it to be dignified.
And it will be.
They can totally photoshop a bikini back on you.
I am going to go home, crank up my thermostat and pretend I'm in the desert.
Excuse me.
Whew.
I Some guardian angel.
How could you let them screw up my obituary? The last time I talked to Carl was the night of the accident.
He was in Santa Fe, and he called to tell us that he would see us the following day.
Because he missed you? Because his boss was insisting that he push on through to L.
A.
- Objection, your honor.
Hearsay.
- Yeah, I don't think so.
This would be a hearsay exception seeing as how Carl Mason is unavailable due to him being dead.
- Overruled.
- Nice try.
the department of transportation's "hours of service" regulation, is that right? Yes.
There's an 11-hour limit.
My husband knew that.
But the company didn't care.
They had what they called "prioritadruns" and Carl's boss used to encourage Carl and the others to drive 16, 18 hours at a time.
And by "encourage", you mean They said if he couldn't meet the deadline, regardless of regulations he shouldn't bother coming back to work.
That's why he was driving all night, to save his job.
Your witness.
I just have one question, Mrs.
Mason.
Who was it that fell asleep behind the wheel? Was it your husband, or was it Ocean Park Trucking Incorporated? - My husband.
- Redirect, your honor.
Who tucks your son in at night, you or Ocean Park Trucking Incorporated? - Your honor.
- You started it, Mr.
Sebell.
You can answer the question.
I do.
Now it's just me.
Just you.
Does Michael still ask about his dad? Every night.
The same question-- "When's dad coming home?" Counselor, are you okay? I need a moment.
And what do you tell him? I tell him that his dad is always with him always loves him and I pray to God that as he gets older, Michael doesn't forget his father.
He won't.
You've got to be kidding me! Your honor! Objection! Counsel's using a flagrant display of emotion to try and sway the jury! - No more questions.
- Um, counsel, approach please.
I'm sorry.
It's just This isn't dinner theater.
Are you on some kind of medication? Is this post-traumatic stress? No.
It's just so sad.
This little kid And he won't see his father.
It just-- it gets you.
I do not know what is going on with you, Jane.
But turn off the waterworks and pull yourself together, okay? The last thing that you want is another mistrial.
- Are we clear? - Yes.
Good.
Counselor, please show the court what's behind the curtain.
It's obvious.
The dream means the Jane in you is trying to destroy the Deb in you.
- No, come on.
- And she's succeeding.
- That's not true.
- It's a little true.
Think about it.
The only reason we're not in Palm Springs right now is 'cause you had to work at your job.
I'm trying to help my client and her kid.
- Sue me for caring.
- Sue yourself.
- You're the lawyer.
- You know something? The only reason you wanted to go to Palm Springs was because you need an excuse to miss another audition.
- Take that back.
- No, admit it.
You are terrified of making the model-to-actress leap.
That is so not true.
It's a little true.
So, you think about that.
I'm gonna be late.
Have a good day, Jane.
Fred, what are you doing here? I'm a messenger.
It's my job.
I deliver stuff.
Uh, here.
I got your check.
You could have given this to me at the office.
I figured you might need it immediately.
I'm thoughtful that way.
Fred, go back to the office.
Don't do this.
Did we get a new UPS guy? Where's Pedro? Um, hi.
Uh, Stacy, right? I'm Fred.
You probably remember me from Jane's office.
You've probably heard her talk about me.
No.
Kind of, uh, keep everything running over there.
I coordinate document delivery and retrieval.
He's a messenger, who was just leaving.
Uh, but before I do, I was wondering if you would like to share a meal with me At a- a nice restaurant.
I can pay.
Oh, you're asking me out.
So sweet.
I'm sorry.
I'm just not in that place right now.
Say hi to Pedro for me.
What-- What does that mean? That's just something we say.
So, when do you think she's gonna be in that place? Never, Fred.
She's saying she's never going to be in that place.
- Mr.
Parker.
- I heard there was blubbering.
Excuse me? Judge summers called.
She was not happy.
It wasn't blubbering.
I may have showed emotion.
You know why I hired you, Bingum? I watched you in court.
You were rock solid without any of the other nonsense-- The drama, the blubbering.
I'm still rock solid.
Feel these arms.
Whatever you did with this trial the first time, do it again.
Don't worry.
Apparently, I won this trial last time with a whistle-blower.
He goes back on the stand today.
By the end of the day, the trial will be over.
No more emotion.
Make it so.
"Feel these arms"? Not only did I do nothing wrong, my treatment was so successful I'm submitting this case to psychiatric journals.
Did your protocol follow the American Psychiatric Association guidelines? To a "T".
Your witness.
Dr.
Farrar, when Selette Garner first came to see you did you tell her you could help her husband? Yes, I diagnosed dissociative identity disorder and told her I could treat him.
Did you tell her that you would restore Jake her husband's personality, that you could get rid of Simon? I did.
Is the fact that you failed miserably going to be in the first paragraph of your journal article? Your honor.
It's a good question.
I did not fail.
During the course of treatment, I discovered that Jake the personality that Selette first met, was not the original personality.
Jake was an elaborate and long-standing construct.
He-- He never really existed.
Simon was the original personality.
I did my job.
I cured him.
When your patient paid for his visits what name did he sign on his checks? Jake Garner.
And his medical consent form, same thing, Jake Garner? - That's right.
But you have to-- - Then tell me.
If Jake Garner wasn't a real person, if he was a construct, as you say how is the consent form he signed even valid? And haven't you committed fraud by cashing those checks? No further questions.
I look forward to reading your article, Doctor.
Jane? I'm-- I'm sorry.
I-- I didn't think you were here.
- I- I didn't think-- - She took a good picture.
She was beautiful.
Hello, hello.
Am I interrupting? No.
Jane, your face is all red.
Are you blushing? No.
I was running laps earlier.
What's up? Um, Parker wanted to know if we were free for dinner, update him on the case.
- 8:00? - Sure.
Excuse me.
I'm due in court.
You might want to get an ointment or cream.
She is unbelievable! - What? - "Dinner with Parker.
" That girl is like a venus flytrap with boobs.
Parker never has dinner with associates.
Mr.
Sagansky, thank you for joining us again.
How long did you work as a truck driver for Ocean Park Trucking? Nine years.
And do you recognize the president of Ocean Park Trucking in this room? Yeah, that's Mr.
Hall, right there.
And sitting next to him? That's Gary Monroe, V.
P.
of operations.
Mr.
Sagansky, is it true that on at least six different occasions Mr.
Monroe threatened to fire you if you refused to drive an illegal double shift? No.
And isn't it true that-- Excuse me? I said no.
No, he didn't threaten to fire you on six different occasions? No, he didn't.
No one at that company ever asked me to drive a double shift.
Do you maybe want to take a moment and try answering that question again? Objection.
Asked and answered.
Twice.
Yeah, I can count, counselor.
Sustained.
But your honor, he's Permission to treat Mr.
Sagansky as a hostile witness.
Proceed.
in this room and testified that executives at Ocean Park Trucking told you to break regulations and coerced you into driving illegal double shifts.
Were you lying then, or are you lying now? because my friend Carl had been killed and I was looking for someone to blame.
- Are you kidding me?! - Counsel.
But, your honor, aren't you gonna do anything about this? - Objection.
- We're gonna take a recess.
What?! No! It's all in the transcript! This isn't fair! How much did they pay you to change your story? Your honor, objection.
Uh, Ms.
Bingum? I am warning you.
Zip it.
Me?! What about him?! This witness is, quite obviously, a big, fat, fricking liar.
- Okay, that's it.
- And if you can't see it you might as well trade in that polyester robe for a big fuzzy muumuu! Enough, okay?! Bailiff, take Ms.
Bingum into custody! - I'm holding her in contempt.
- What? What? What did I say? Thank you.
I'm not talking to you.
What are you gonna do, hold your breath till I leave? Come on.
You know, I always thought that you could have a little more passion in the courtroom but I think you overcompensated.
You know what happened in court today wasn't fair.
"Fair"? Do you remember the summer you clerked for me? Um vaguely.
The Turner case.
I planted a flag.
Equal pay for equal work.
I was overturned on appeal.
That wasn't fair.
- Remember what you told me? - Vaguely.
That the system was about due process.
That if I wanted fair, I should go to a fairgrounds.
I said that to you? Did you slap me? No.
But maybe I should have.
You're going through something, aren't you? You're not the same.
I'm not.
You want to tell me about it? You wouldn't believe me if I did.
Okay.
I'm gonna have to keep you in here till about 9:00.
Otherwise, everyone's gonna think I've gone soft.
After that, have someone from your firm come and sign you out, all right? But Jane think about getting some help.
I'll see you in court.
Uh, I apologize on Parker's behalf.
His last-minute text cancelation-- very tacky.
It's okay.
Well, we'll just get even-- Order the most expensive things on the menu and bill him.
If you'd still like to eat.
I'm not gonna turn down a free meal.
Um, may we have the wine list, please? Thank you.
So I guess we just update each other.
Your case seems to be going well.
Thanks to you.
Wrongful death? Stroke of genius.
When we win, I'll make sure Parker knows.
- Oh, it's fine.
You don't have to.
- Oh, don't do that.
Quietly competent doesn't make partner.
Did that just sound really cutthroat? No.
Okay, you need to work on your poker face.
Sorry, I should get that.
It might be Parker.
Oh, just let it go.
I can't imagine what he-- Hello? Jane? Is everything all right? Where are you? Can people actually kill themselves with shoelaces? I'll let you know.
I'm so sorry I ruined your night.
- Jane, it's fine.
- No, I- I tried Teri.
- I even tried the new mailroom guy.
- Stop apologizing.
You didn't ruin anything.
Parker never even showed.
You don't say.
You really called him a liar to his face right in the middle of court? Actually, I think my exact words were "Big, fat, fricking liar", but I'd have to check the transcript.
And then I have to burn the transcript.
Hey, you showed the jury you cared.
Yeah, I cared so much I got thrown into jail.
At the end of the day, it doesn't matter.
I have no idea how I'm gonna win this case.
Without my whistle-blower How do you prove they are big, fat, fricking liars? Sometimes you don't have to prove it at all.
- Remember trial advocacy? - Are they a band? Funny.
You don't always have to prove that they're liars.
You just have to get them to believe that you can prove it.
Sometimes, it's not about the law at all.
Sometimes - It's just acting.
- Exactly.
- What? - Oh, nothing.
It's just I don't know if I'm ever gonna get used to you-- To people-- talking to me like I'm a lawyer.
If we're being honest I still feel like a fraud every time I step into a courtroom like I'm wearing my dad's suit, and it's all pretend.
Except it's not, not to my clients.
Well, then it's a good thing they've got you.
I thought you put me in rapture I never asked you to dump her - This is a terrible idea.
- No, it's not.
Hey, think of it as an acting job.
This could help me win my case.
Okay, how do I look like the owner of a small business? Yeah sure in a porno movie.
All right, come here.
We can work with this.
I don't know, Jane.
I think you were right.
I keep skipping auditions, 'cause what if I'm a model who can't act? Listen to me.
You are Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Cameron Diaz, not Cindy Crawford.
Oh, here you go.
I even made you a business card.
Oh, I love props! 'Cause I'm not cool - Excuse me! - Yes.
- Are you Mr.
Monroe? - Yes, I am.
I own a small produce company and we have what I'd call a shipping emergency.
- How can I help you, Ms.
Barrett? - I have 1,500 South American cantaloupes sitting on a dock in San Pedro that need to be in Chicago by 6:00 p.
m.
tomorrow night or I lose my biggest client.
- 6:00 p.
m.
2,000 miles.
- Yeah.
That's cutting it a little bit close.
Please, Mr.
Monroe.
I'm desperate.
Can you help me get my melons to Chicago? My name is Simon, Simon Sewey.
You've had that name and personality how long? Since I was born.
Who is Jake Garner? Jake was a born frat boy, you know? Loved a good dirty joke, everybody's best friend, you know? Well, did very well with women.
And Jake met Selette the summer after graduation.
It was Jake who proposed.
When did Simon-- Or when did you-- re-emerge.
Well, after the wedding, when things calmed down and they mo-- Uh we moved I started showing up again.
And it was then that she sent me to see Lois.
I mean, uh, Dr.
Farrar.
Thank you.
So you're Simon pretty much all the time now.
And Jake is nowhere to be seen.
Why do you suppose that is? I don't know.
Maybe it's because of Dr.
Farrar's treatment.
Dr.
Farrar got rid of Jake.
She made it safe for me to assert myself.
How did she do that? It was a combination of medication and intensive sessions.
She, uh-- she told me it was okay for me to be myself.
She-- She showed me compassion.
In her office? Um Did Dr.
Farrar-- Did Lois-- Ever show you compassion outside of her office? Remember, you're under oath.
Yes or no-- Did you ever see your doctor outside of the office? Yes.
Just one more question.
Are you sleeping with your psychiatrist, Simon? - Is that why she got rid of Jake? - Objection, your honor! - It's a fair question! - Do not answer that! You bitch! I sent you my husband so you could help him, and you slept with him?! Never.
I only slept with Simon.
I never touched Jake.
Oh, well, guess what, doc?! They share a penis! Ladies, ladies.
Come on, there's enough of this to go around.
Ooh.
Jake? How you doing, baby? Show's over people! I want to see counsel in my chambers now! Even if she slept with him, and I'm not stipulating it-- She just admitted it in open court.
The fact that her husband isn't dead is our defense.
Enough, both of you.
As entertaining as this has been, there's only so much a judge can take.
I've reached a decision.
Mr.
Browers is right.
- I don't see wrongful death here.
- Thank you, your honor.
That case will not be moving forward.
In which case, we wish to refile malpractice.
- Excuse me? - Dr.
Farrar didn't kill anyone but she did sleep with her patient.
I don't know about you, but that sure sounds like malpractice to me.
File the paperwork.
We'll hear witnesses Monday morning.
Thank you, your honor.
Come on, babe I know it's complicated, but we can figure this out.
- Forget it, Jake.
- Actually, it's Simon.
Oh, well, Simon, Jake, whatever.
It's over.
I'm breaking up with both of you.
Should we see if she wants us to handle the divorce? There's not enough money in the world.
My name is Gary Monroe.
I am the vice president of operations for Ocean Park Trucking.
Mr.
Monroe, are you familiar with the department of transportation's "hours of service" regulations? Of course.
It's my job to be.
And how often would you say you encourage your drivers-- Or coerce them-- To break those regulations? Never.
At Ocean Park Trucking, we value the safety of our drivers above all else.
Even if that means you can't deliver on time for a client? Ms.
Bingum, you're not listening.
We wouldn't even accept a job in the first place if it meant we had to violate D.
O.
T.
regs.
- Really? - Yes, really.
Are we done? Counsel? Look, we know what's going on here.
This is a big waste of everybody's time.
Is it, now? Mr.
Monroe, do you recognize the woman who just entered the courtroom? Objection.
We received no notice of an additional witness.
She's not a witness, your honor, not yet.
For now, think of her as exhibit "A".
Stacy Barrett, step right up! Your honor, this is trial by ambush.
This is the first we've heard of any Stacy Barrett.
Oh, really? Then why does your witness look like he's about to pass out? I suspect he's familiar with her.
Did you need some water, Mr.
Monroe? Counsel, is there a problem? Your honor, we'd, uh-- We'd like a short recess.
Fine.
We'll take 10 minutes.
Welcome back, counselor.
Thank you.
Seems there's going to be a change in management at Ocean Park Trucking.
Hall and Monroe are out, and your check is on its way.
We-- we can stay in our house? Honey, you can add a second story.
I know I've said this before, but thank you again, Jane.
Thank you.
Well, I'm glad I could help again.
Take care of each other.
Thank you.
So? That's a good feeling.
Tell me about the settlement.
Same as last time? - More or less.
- More or less? Well, take the first figure and double it.
- Not bad.
- Now double it again.
Really? Oh, Mr.
Parker, how was poker last night? Don't ask.
Never ask.
The guy hasn't missed a Thursday night poker game in, like, 10 years.
You got to admire that commitment.
Haven't seen you around all day.
I won my case.
I heard.
What's wrong? Are you mad at me? Nah.
What you said before about Stacy, that she's out of my league it was-- it was harsh.
But I guess it's true.
Fred, I-- I didn't mean it.
No.
Yeah, you-- you did.
And I should have listened to you the first time.
No.
I didn't use the right words.
I-- I wasn't being sensitive to Fred, I haven't known you very long.
I'm not exactly sure what you are, let alone who.
But from what I can tell, you're in a league of your own.
And sooner or later, you will find a girl who wants season tickets to that league, to your league and okay, I know I'm smart now, but I'm not making sense, am I? I'm just confused and it hurts.
What about this-- the sea is filled with many fish.
Yeah, s- stop.
Look, I- I-- I know I'm-- I'm supposed to be your guardian angel.
But I'm new here and you kind of have to be mine a little bit, too.
Just tell me.
Could someone like me ever wind up with someone like I mean, is-- Is it really impossible? Look at me, Fred.
Anything's possible.
I'm coming home Hey.
I was just trying to I.
M.
you.
God, that was a good day, huh? I'm still buzzing.
Parker was never coming to dinner last night, was he? What? Of course he was.
No, he just Kim, it wasn't a question.
I know.
Well, I- I wanted to Um I wanted to have dinner with you, and-- You thought you had to manipulate me into going? - It's kind of my default.
- Yeah? How's that working for you? I lost Deb less than a month ago.
I don't need to be manipulated right now.
I'm sorry.
The thing is, if you had just called and asked "Hey, you want to grab something to eat?" I would have said yes.
Oh, my god I nearly I am telling you, I was so good.
I was in the moment.
I actually believed I had 1,500 rotting melons in San Pedro.
If there was an academy award for best produce company president in a pending lawsuit you'd totally be nominated.
Nominated? I'd totally win.
Whoo-hoo! I'm so sorry about Palm Springs.
I'll try not to let work get in the way of everything.
Palm Springs will always be there.
What about next week? Any day but Wednesday.
I have an audition, and I'm going.
To you.
To making the leap.
To Cameron Diaz.
Oh, my God.
I totally forgot.
Look.
Today's.
They reran your obituary.
Stace, you are the best.
How did you do this? Me? I don't have that picture.
I thought it was you.
When I saw you in that dress I felt alone for the first time Since I left home Hey.
Hi.
Uh, I was heading out, and I saw you were working late and, uh I don't know.
I was wondering if you'd like to grab something to eat.
That would be nice.
::: Timecodes - gius :::