Final Space (2018) s01e03 Episode Script

Chapter 3

Previously on Final Space Gary and Avocato got their butt cheeks in a hot fight.
The Lord Commander is hot on their trail.
Oh, crap! Now our heroes have joined forces to protect Mooncake and save Avocato's son, Little Cato.
What are they going to do? Where are they going to hide? I have no idea.
That's why we're watching this episode, y'all! [Music.]
You have 7 minutes of oxygen left, Gary.
Phew.
Look, it's Carl.
Carl, how's life? Carl is dead, Gary.
Classic Carl.
That bastard owes me 25 bucks.
- Man: Mayday, mayday! - Can you clean that up, HUE? HUE: I can try.
There is quite a bit of interference.
- Man: We need help! - Any idea who it is? HUE: No, Gary.
I'm afraid not.
Well, maybe I can help these Actually, I'll just chill over here.
[Title music.]
1x03 - Chapter Three [Beatboxing.]
For you! This will help.
What is this? Who's there? [Music.]
Your father is a coward! My father will come for me, and he will kill you if I don't first.
Yah! Ow.
Quinn, do I look any different? I should because you're looking at the most wanted man in the galaxy.
Oh, look who it is! - Avocato, come say hi to Quinn.
- No.
He's a bit of a grouch, but his son has been kidnapped.
Yeah.
I know.
Anyways, big development! I have a robot arm.
Look at this! Oh, my god! How do I Ahh! Ahh! Oh! I think that's all I have for you today.
Uh give me a call, Quinn.
Oh, I almost forgot.
In four days, I'm a free man.
What do you say when I turn [Alarm blaring.]
Proximity alert.
Proximity alert.
Gary, we are taking fire from the Lord Commander's heavy incinerators.
Grab it firm.
What do we do, HUE? Calculating.
I am detecting an incursion in our proximity.
- A what? - A temporal worm, Gary.
It's your only option.
A temporal worm could send us backwards or forwards thousands of years in time, Gary.
Are you sure that's the only choice we have? Feed us to it! [Music.]
[Alarm blaring.]
Whoa! Aah! Mm, pressed hams.
That was wondrous! How about covering up that dick situation - you've got going there? Jeez.
- In good time.
Speaking of which, when are we? Happy? Gary, we have jumped four days into the future.
Wait.
What? That means my last four days of jail are up.
Right, HUE? Open sesame! Unlock my bounty! Clause nine of your imprisonment stipulates that all time-related disruptions have zero effect on your sentence.
What? So no chocolate treasure coins? Are you referring to cookies, Gary? - Yes! - Oh, then no.
This is a load, HUE, a load! Listen, Gary.
We're marked targets, and no matter what hole we hide in, the Lord Commander will find us in our hole and take Mooncake from that hole.
I know that's a whole lot of holes, but we're in a whole lot of trouble.
- HUE? - Avocato is correct.
We need to hide him until we figure things out.
Look.
I've heard of a place that safeguards fugitives.
The closest one is on Yarno.
No one will find him there.
HUE, spool up the engines.
We're going to Yarno.
[Music.]
Helper Hula, I've always respected the Order of the 12 being the eyes of the universe.
Where is E 35-1?! [Grunts.]
Ah! You're dying! Dying? Really, genius? I know I'm dying! Every time you use your light, you quicken your own death.
That's why I need Mooncake, or whatever that idiot calls him.
I need him to live.
Tell me where he is.
Patience.
That wasn't very helpful.
[Music.]
Ugh! [Coughing.]
You will find him for me, or next time I finish the job.
[Soft roar of engine.]
Gworplo! I'm Zargon Tukalishi, and welcome to Yarn [Screaming nonsense.]
[Cackling.]
Looks like they've made some changes around here.
You don't say, because the Deathcropolis just sounded like a lovely church picnic.
[Whimpering.]
Don't worry, Mooncake.
We got this.
Moonobumps, homemade moonobumps.
Oh, sweet! They're just handing out free candy! Wow.
Whoa.
[Laughs.]
Oh, oh, he has a Popsicle now! Ahh! [Gasping.]
I feel so replenished.
Oh, wow.
Oh! Just what is this?! There's a dart sticking out of my chesticles! Can you not take crap from weird alien skeevoids? Noted, "Do not take crap from skeevoids.
" - Ugh.
[Grunts.]
- Ahh! [Laughing.]
[Music.]
There's a quantum gravitational disturbance emanating two parsecs from Jupiter.
If my math is right, all our lives might depend Quinn, it's Triborn.
Don't worry.
I'm at your place.
Everything is okay, but super bad news.
You're not going to like it.
In fact, I don't know what happened to all the like.
Where did all the like go? - Tell me, already! - I will tell you, already.
Superior Stone dispatched an Imperium cruiser yesterday to apprehend you because you kind of broke a lot of laws, like 47 laws.
Why didn't you tell me sooner?! Why didn't I tell you sooner? That is the question, isn't it? The answer, I've been busy.
Are you touching my stuff? Why would I be touching your stuff.
It makes me look so dreamy and beautiful.
I would never be touching your beautiful stuff.
Quinn, an Imperium cruiser is closing in on your position.
- This is the place, Gary.
- This is the place? This, right here, is the place? I'm not going down there.
Welcome, friends, to the Order of 12 Yarno chapter a representative will meet you shortly.
- How can I - Jeez! help? [Laughs.]
- You got me.
- Are you a helper? Oh, no.
I assist the helpers.
[Chuckling.]
So you're a helper-helper? I will tell him you have arrived.
Guy straight up ghosted through that wall.
- Live with it.
- I can't.
The guy just ghosted - through that wall, yo.
Ahh! - How can I help? - We love to help.
- Thanks.
Well, we need to find a safe place for my little buddy.
Sorry.
We're at capacity.
[Whimpers.]
Oh! [Clears throat.]
But we could always squeeze in one more.
- Such a precious specimen.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
C-Can you say that just a little less creepy-like? Okay.
I guess not.
- Mooncake.
- Chocatey? [Music.]
No one's saying goodbye, here.
Okay? I'll be back as soon as I can.
It's only temporary.
I promise.
Chocatey pah.
[Squeaking.]
Gary, he'll be fine.
He can take care of himself.
[Music.]
By the way, I never got your name, mister - Stevil.
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Pump the breaks.
Okay.
The freaking guy has "evil" in his name.
I'm not handing Mooncake over to a guy freaking named Stevil! - Stevil is a bit alarming.
- It is a bit alarming! We only want to help! Avocato, let's find another place.
- Let's go.
- Stop! Okay.
This is full-blown banshee screech, alarming! - Mooncake! - Sleep.
Alert High Helper Hula we have been most helpful.
[Music.]
Stevil lived right up to the evil in his name! Look! We made it to the super safe oblivion amusement park of never-ending unsafe stairs! What fun! Thanks, Avocato.
It's a Lazarus trap.
Only master trap-makers can make these, and people who really like stairs.
At least we're not sinking into, like, a lake of lava or something.
Listen to me.
Anything we think of becomes reality.
Okay? Right.
Okay.
So we've got to think positive.
Ooh, ooh! Cookies! - No! - Hey! Eat me! I'm delicious! I'm a cookie! What? It's not like I'm imagining murderous killing confections? I'm going to kill you.
[Both scream.]
Everybody is super excited about today's sacrifices at the Deathcropolis.
Ooh! But you're not being sacrificed.
The Lord Commander needs you.
- What is he doing? - Chocatey pah! [Music.]
[Cheering.]
[Growls.]
Quinn Airgon, we have orders to arrest you for aerial grand theft.
- Chuck? - Yes.
This is Chuck.
Now, please surrender, and this all goes away.
Listen, jerk nuts.
No.
Did she just call me jerk nuts? Oh.
Okay, yeah Yeah.
I think you are under arrest.
Hey! Douche canoe, not happening.
[Laughs.]
God.
You said, "Douche canoe.
" All right.
Listen, Quinn No.
You listen.
I'm trying to save the world, here.
So you're going to turn your vessel around and forget you ever saw me.
- Dude, are you crying? - No.
No, I'm not crying.
It's space pollen.
[Engines powering down.]
Ah, ah, ah! Didn't say the magic word! Aaah! Why am I the only one covered in cookies? - You have no cookies! - Gary, de-think the cookies! Not sure that's possible.
I'm a very creative guy.
Like, wouldn't it be cool if they had, like, laser eyes? Aah! Run! - Oh, my God! - Think of something else! - Anything else! - What, like tridents? - No! No! - Yeah! Yes! No! Not like tridents! I'm thinking about little trident-wielding laser-shooting death cookies! I'm thinking of nothing, nothing, nothing.
Oh! Whoa! Oh! Oh, my gosh.
- I'm going to eat your eyes out.
- And pee in your sockets! You're never going to leave this place.
Why is that one cookie lone-wolfing it across the edge? Oh! He's leaping! Whoa! He's like an angel! - Oh, my God - I'm going to kill you! It's stabbing my eyes! [Screams.]
Ohh.
[Roaring.]
Chocatey pah! [Cheering.]
To the ones who live for the ones who die! [Music.]
It's not fair.
I've been good.
I help people.
I've been patient, unbelievably patient! Oh, Lord Commander! I brought your medicine, sir! I put a little biscuit on the side, just for you, my special little prince.
- What is this? - Ugh! Gah! I like the much littler kind of biscuits.
I have told you this, Eric.
I told you this! We have been most helpful.
We have found Mooncake.
My patience paid off.
[Choking.]
[Blasting.]
[Music.]
The more you kill, the more the Twelve Titans beyond rejoice.
[Both scream.]
Gary, we need to wake up.
Close your eyes.
You want me to wake up by closing my eyes? - That doesn't make any sense! - Nothing makes any sense in here! All right.
Good point.
Okay.
I'm closing my eyes.
It's not working.
- Hi, Gary.
- Quinn? It's been a long time.
- Come here.
I missed you.
- Is it really you? Closer.
- Gary - Get off me! It's part of the trap.
Gary, don't listen to him.
You need to trust me.
She isn't real.
Are we going home, dad? Trust me, buddy.
We both need to wake up.
[Music.]
I don't want to wake up.
Then you're really not going to want this.
We're out! I saved us.
- No, I saved you.
- And I, you.
- No, you didn't.
- But I did.
- You almost got us killed, Gary.
- Then we're even.
We've got to find Mooncake! Gary, I told you Mooncake is going to be okay.
- He's a super weapon.
- Wrong! Little green ball friend is a harmless gumball of love! - HUE, you there? - Where have you been, Gary? It would sound too insane to even explain.
Can you lock into Mooncake's location? - Ugh! - Uh, Gary? Little buddy.
The final sacrifice awaits.
[Music.]
[Crowd chanting.]
[Whimpers.]
[Crowd chanting.]
: Kill! Kill! Kill! Kill! Hello, Mooncake.
I have been looking all over for you.
[Whimpers.]
Don't be shy.
Come in and say hello.
Rahh! How did I become so weak? - Mooncake! - Doot, doot, doot, doot! - Chocatey! - Oh! - Gary! - It's over, The Gary.
"Gary.
" It's just "Gary.
" What is your deal, dude? Why won't you just leave us alone? You have no idea, do you? Mooncake is the key.
That being can unlock Final Space.
What the mother-loving crap is Final Space? That's my business.
Should we play a game, Gary? I love games.
I always win.
[Music.]
You know what I want, and I Ya! Oh, my gosh! [Parts crashing.]
Sweet Grandor's glove! You are a planet-destroying super weapon! - Chocatey! - Whoa! Yes! That's so freaking tight! - That's not how we play the game! - How about this game? - Ah, you missed.
- Freak.
Shoot for the locks! [Growling.]
- Gary, look out! - Ugh! Ah! Ugh.
[Music.]
I'm going to save you, Gary! I'm saving you! I'm here to save you, Gary! The day is saved.
Freaking KVN! I hate you so much! I truly can't wait for the day you die! Oh, my gosh.
No one will be sad.
There will only be happiness! [KVN laughing.]
- Hey, Gary! - Don't even.
Just don't even.
KVN has saved everything.
[Beeping.]
[Crunch.]
[Music.]
The gravitational disturbance, it's massive and growing a lot a lot, a lot.
That's what I've been trying to tell you.
Probe failure imminent.
Probe failure imminent.
We need to get out of here right now.
[Music.]
Oh, God! Engage rear thrusters! - Ahh! - Ah! [Grunting.]
I am not a douche canoe! Ahh! [Music.]
Ahh! [Music.]
[Music.]
Mayday, mayday! This is Quinn Airgon.
Can someone hear me? Help me! I've processed your scan of all prisoner transfers out of Tera Con Prime.
There is no match for Little Cato.
[Music.]
Mooncake? - What's wrong, bud? - Mm.
I get it.
So you shoot a murder beam out of your face hole.
So what? I mean, it happens to the best of us.
I mean, just the other day I had a burrito, and you should have saw the freaking murder beam that came out of my ba And, you know, it's actually pretty sweet, if you think about it.
I mean, I just want you to know that that doesn't change - anything between you and this guy.
- [Gasps.]
Me? - Not you! - Chocatey! Him.
It doesn't make you the bad guy.
It really doesn't.
I mean, it makes the scum who want to use you as the weapon the bad guy.
Look, you're a good guy to the max core.
- Ohh! - I'm never going to let you go again.
I now know the only one I can trust with you is my own awesomeness.
Mm! [Laughs.]
I'm starting to like these.
Mm.
Gary, I am receiving a mayday call.
Mayday, mayday! This is Quinn Airgon! Can someone hear me? Help me! Oh, my crap.
It's Quinn.
[Music.]
[Groaning, coughing.]
[Grumbles.]
[Music.]

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