Flatbush Misdemeanors (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

1
Yo, Zay Zay.
Meet me in the bathroom, Zay.
Yo.
[LIGHT MUSIC]
What's something that says, like,
"I love you, but also,
I respect that you're
my professional superior"?
Why would you get a gift for somebody
that makes more money than you?
Is she your girlfriend?
[DAN] She's the vice principal
where I teach,
but we have very good chemistry.
She not his girl.
- I know Zayna shit.
- Uh-huh.
I was clapping her shit
in the bathroom.
This kid Will in your class,
you know where he live at?
Mr. Joseph, the Administration
for Children's Services
has an open case
on one of your students
whose safety may be at risk.
[JAZZY SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING]
[RAPPING ON DOOR]
[CLAIRE] Keep ignoring me, Lester,
but you're gone tomorrow,
so stop playing and start packing!
[RAPPING ON DOOR]
What's going on?
[CLAIRE] Lester, I will
call the police!
What's going on?
[CLAIRE] This doesn't concern you.
Well, we're concerned, so
[CLAIRE] An eviction, okay?
Owes too much in rent.
Yo, Lester's lived here forever.
You can't evict him.
I keep seeing you.
Who the hell are you?
- Does he live with you?
- Who, Kev? No, he's just
[CLAIRE] 'Cause I'm charging
rent for one person.
If there's two of you,
I'm charging more.
It's it's just me.
Kevin is just visiting.
I see him all the time.
I visit a lot.
How 'bout I inspect your apartment?
- You can't do that.
- No, no, hang on, hang on.
- [CLAIRE] Can't I?
- Hang on, hang on. No.
He's my trainer. He's just my trainer.
You train him in house slippers?
[SAXOPHONE MUSIC CONTINUES]
Yeah. I'm not the one training.
- [RAPPING LOUDLY ON DOOR]
- Open this door!
Leave me alone, woman.
Lester ain't done nothing wrong.
- Leave him alone.
- [CLAIRE] Okay, I'm sorry.
Are you gonna pay me
the tens of thousands he owes in rent?
There has to be more to rent
than money.
There's been a hole
in his roof for a month.
Why you ain't fixed that yet?
That's something he's noticed
while training me.
I'm evicting him in the morning,
and then I'm dealing with you two.
Say goodbye, Lester!
Goodbye, you white honky bitch!
- [CLAIRE] Good riddance!
- [DOOR SLAMS]
Nobody trains in house slippers.
- He's unorthodox.
- [CLAIRE LAUGHING] Oh!
And I'm unconvinced.
[PERSON] Are they really
thinking about people,
or they thinking about money?
It has to be the money.
Do you have a place to stay?
I've been trying
for that housing lottery.
We'll see what happens.
Don't worry about it, young bloods.
When it's your time,
it's your time, right?
Like playing at Minton's
[CHUCKLES]
And fuckin' the same women as Dizzy
To getting kicked out of
my own goddamn apartment.
- Oh, let me help you.
- Nah.
You're going to my room,
though, so let me just
[LESTER] No, God damn it.
[DAN] Okay, well, I'm just
gonna help you, so
[LESTER] No, you honky bitch.
[DAN] Jesus.
You know, when I moved in,
he was the only one
who introduced himself.
This same shit happened
to Jasmine grandma,
- but she stopped it.
- [DAN] Call her.
Maybe she can come help.
It's too early for that.
What do you mean, it's early?
It's for Lester.
That's worth it.
Plus, you can spend time with her.
[GROANING] Mm-mm
Did did you not get groceries
yesterday?
Oh yeah, I started to,
but then I didn't.
You finished two dozen eggs already?
[KEVIN] I'm a growing boy.
I don't know what you want.
- [DAN] Can you get stuff today?
- You want me to do that?
Or you want me to call
Jasmine and help Lester?
- 'Cause
- I mean, can you do both?
[JASMINE] Yo, you ruined my podcast.
- What you want?
- Damn. I can't get a hello?
[JASMINE] Hello.
What you want?
[KEVIN CLICKS TONGUE]
You stay in a Myers building, right?
[JASMINE] Yeah. Why?
[KEVIN] They trying to evict
my neighbor.
How you finesse it when they
was getting on your grandma?
[JASMINE SIGHS] It's a lot.
[KEVIN] Okay. I'm listening.
[JASMINE] All right, so first, you
Yo, it's kind of early
for that; you okay?
[JASMINE] When you file
a complaint, they gonna ask
[DAN] I-I'm getting fired today.
What?
Jess wants me to meet
to discuss the Child Services case
after school, so I'm
Just play dumb.
It has to be Zayna.
There's no one else it could be.
I already lied about going
over to a kid's house,
so I'm just I'm fucked.
Look, just don't lose your job,
'cause if you lose your job,
then we both gonna be homeless,
and I can't support us
on this roti check.
- Like
- Okay. Yeah.
I'll tell her that.
That'll mean a lot to her.
- [JASMINE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]
- I'll get groceries
before I have to meet with her at 5:00.
- [KEVIN] All right.
- Let me know about Lester.
- [KEVIN] Mm.
- [JASMINE] Get a mob.
Do a protest. Do all that shit.
And then if you do all of that,
then maybe he'll be a'ight.
You follow?
Uh, yeah, I follow,
but I ain't really follow.
Can you can you just come
over here and help me, please?
[ZAYNA] What you think they gonna do?
I don't know.
When we got caught hoppin' the train,
what your uncle do to you?
Man, he said, "Stop getting caught."
You know what my people did to me, bro?
Uncooked rice, my nigga.
Straight out the box type shit.
[IJEOMA] Your mates are inside
studying for Harvard.
You, you are jumping trains.
Keep your arms up! Spider-Man.
[WILNER] That's your daughter.
I was there for, like, two hours.
Wait, so
do they keep extra rice for punishing,
or y'all eat and punish
from the same box?
What?
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING JAZZY MUSIC]
[PROTESTORS CHANTING FAINTLY]
Evictions must stop!
No landlords, no cops!
Evictions must stop!
- No landlords, no cops!
- [CAR HORNS HONKING]
- Evictions must stop!
- [JASMINE] Here we go.
[PROTESTORS] No landlords, no cops!
Say what?
[PROTESTORS] Evictions must stop!
Okay.
[PROTESTORS] No landlords, no cops!
I just can't believe you got
all these people out here so fast.
[PROTESTORS CHANTING]
No landlords, no cops!
Hey, you should make this your thing,
'cause if you could do this in a day,
- you could fuckin', like
- I could what?
Make a living
off of other people's pain?
Not like Al Sharpton,
but you could do it.
You good at making people care.
Nah, yo, this not even some shit
I would want to make bread off of.
I feel like this is the type of shit
that everybody's
supposed to care about.
You could do the same thing.
You just don't know
how to talk to people.
You not wrong. I mean
[PROTESTORS] Evictions must stop!
No landlords, no cops!
Evictions must stop!
[KEVIN] Hey yo,
thanks for picking that up.
Yeah, no worries. I got extra eggs.
What's going on?
Shit, Shirley Chisholm over here, man.
I'm weak. [LAUGHS] Not Shirley.
Nah, Jas really went crazy.
Lester gonna have to come
down here and thank her,
'cause she given him
the only chance he got.
- This is crazy, Jasmine.
- [JASMINE] Thanks.
You know, we just out here
trying to occupy
and put pressure
on these shady-ass landlords.
I mean, the Myers, they own
most of the buildings in Flatbush,
and they stay trying to kick out people
who been living here their whole lives.
I'm not gonna lie.
It's nice to see you showing up
to support the community.
I I actually have to change
and go back to school.
So I can't
I can't stay, but this is
this is awesome, really. I
Sorry, like, this is really
really cool that
sorry, I don't wanna
This is really great.
Thank you. I'm definitely
No landlords, no cops.
Evictions must stop.
[KEVIN] You didn't get no Doritos?
What yo, why you friends
with that white boy?
I don't know.
That's the homie.
I need a place to stay.
I'm broke. It makes sense.
I know, but that shit
is just mad weird.
Why? 'Cause he's white?
Yeah.
Like, dead ass, I don't even
be feeling comfortable
being naked in your crib.
I could just feel his
white aura just hovering.
The fuck is a white aura?
What are you talking about?
I don't know. It's a feeling.
- You don't feel it?
- No.
That's 'cause you probably done fucked
so many white girls,
you don't even notice no more.
[CLICKING TONGUE]
I mean yeah.
Uncle Drew!
Can you get us some Sprite?
- [SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
- Yes.
- Uh
- What's this?
[DREW] Good for you. That's what it is.
- Ew!
- I wanted Sprite.
Your parents know you over here?
Yes.
- [DAMI] Yeah.
- I don't think they do.
[DAMI LAUGHING]
- The fuck?
- [ZAYNA] Tastes like poop.
- It smell like poop.
- [ZAYNA] Close the lid.
Yeah. That shit is a no-go.
- Ugh.
- God, bro.
No, he didn't fuck
- What?
- Yo!
I wish I could get a new iPhone!
[DREW] Where that homework at?
We just got home!
I like doing my work on Friday.
Then, like, you got
the rest of the weekend
to do whatever. That shit be lit.
See, this why I love you,
'cause now I could just
copy yours on Monday.
- Zay, I'll be right back.
- All right.
[DAMI] Bro
your uncle, like,
he be keeping weed in the crib?
[ZAYNA LAUGHS]
[PROTESTORS] Housing is a human right!
- Fight, fight, fight!
- [SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
Housing is a human right!
Fight, fight, fight!
Yo oh. Sup bro-sorry.
What's going on, guys? Sorry sorry!
Tight squeeze. Awesome.
You out?
Yeah, I got that Jess meeting.
I'll be back.
Wait, so you not gonna
help your neighbor?
I would.
I I just have to go to work.
What?
Isn't this your building, though?
Like, does this not affect you too?
I mean, it does.
It I just have to do my job.
I'll I'll come back.
I I told Kev to call you.
So you help by getting
other people to do the work?
Okay.
That's that's not what I said.
Okay.
Well, I do have to go to work,
but it was really
It was nice seeing you, Jasmine, okay?
Later, Kev.
Yo, she just be talking, man.
How you feeling?
Um, I mean, I'm stressed,
but I'll just face Jess,
and it'll it'll be done.
They're not gonna fire you, bro.
Yo, um, what time you think
you're coming back tonight?
I don't know. Why?
I need the apartment.
Okay. Yeah, I can
I can find somewhere to crash.
I don't really know where, but
- Cool.
- Wait, wait.
If you if you use my
if you use my bed,
can you just not
whatever, it's fine.
- Have fun.
- All right. Appreciate you.
- Yeah, yeah.
- [KEVIN SCOFFS]
See, it's that white privilege.
Nigga, you gentrifying too.
How? I'm sleeping on a couch.
Yeah, but you be at Drip
ordering $8 oat milk mochas and shit.
[PROTESTORS] Fight, fight, fight!
- Drip is Black-owned.
- So?
Black capitalism is still capitalism.
[PROTESTORS] Housing is a human right!
- Fight, fight, fight!
- You be on Twitter too much.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [JESS SIGHS]
Okay, so this Child Services stuff
[DAN] Yeah.
Right.
Okay.
Look, I am really sorry.
I should mention it was about Dami.
She called ACS on her own parents.
Dami!
[SLAPS TABLE]
Dami!
- It was about Dami.
- [JESS] Yeah. Yeah.
- Who did you think?
- I don't know.
I mean, you never know
who things are about, right?
- You okay? You good?
- I'm just taking it all in.
I'm taking in what you said,
which was Dami.
This is about Dami.
So we're here to talk about her.
- [SLAPS TABLE]
- So let's get into it.
Is she okay?
Is she o is she doing okay?
Yeah, yeah, she's okay.
She reported them
over some rice torture,
but ACS found no evidence
there's anything wrong at home.
Mm, I've never met her parents.
Can I get your advice
on the Dami stuff?
Just because, you know,
I really don't
Yeah, I think that
Oh, I'm sorry, I was just gonna launch
into initial advice
that might not be helpful.
Yeah, sure. Take a broad swing at it.
I was just gonna say that
ACS cleared it, so there's
- no real threat, right?
- [PHONE BUZZING]
Like, we'll just monitor her and
[PHONE BUZZING]
Hello?
Oh, God.
Wait. Just now?
Or I just saw him this morning.
No. Okay. Yeah.
I'll come there.
Oliver died.
God damn it.
Oh, I'm sorry, Jess.
Was was he family
or a friend or a
No, Oliver the chicken.
He's a chicken
in our community farm program.
Where where do we have a farm?
Does no one even realize
that we the-the-the-the-
the farm that I set up
in the back of the schoolyard
this this year, literally this year?
That's cool. I haven't gotten a chance
to see it yet, but I'll
I should check it out.
Hmm. Okay.
I gotta go collect Oliver
before his corpse traumatizes the kids.
I'll be right back.
Okay. I I wouldn't worry.
I don't think they knew
about the farm either.
Oh, man.
[LAUGHING]
Bro, your uncle is cool as hell.
I could never do this shit in my spot.
[LAUGHS] He a'ight.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
Bro, wait.
You be making those?
I thought you was buying 'em
on the ave and reselling 'em.
Nah, I made all of these.
How much you make selling 'em?
It depends.
One bag of beads costs, like, $10,
and the string is, like, $2.
So I make, like, what, $80 in profit.
But all the bags don't be having
the same amount of beads.
Some bitches be like,
"Oh, you could
stretch it out," but, like, no.
You shortchange your customer,
you shortchange yourself.
As far as my YTD go, I make,
like, $800 in profits.
- $800?
- Yes.
But you got to factor in your COGS
cost of goods sold,
materials, plus my labor,
because you got to pay yourself.
You know, I'm my own
manufacturer and distributor.
It's simple.
Bro, where did you learn all that?
It's the fucking businesswoman for me.
- [DAMI LAUGHS]
- Drew taught me.
- [DAMI LAUGHING]
- Come here. Look.
[DAMI LAUGHING] What's this?
Uh
Bro. Nah.
- What?
- [ZAYNA LAUGHS]
Girl, let me work for you.
What the fuck? You rich. Like, bro.
Nah.
Let me work for you, like dead ass.
A'ight. Bet.
- Bag these.
- Money.
- Uh.
- Money.
Those birth control?
Where you get that?
I know some people, bro.
I can get you some. You want some?
Nah, my mom would kill me
if she thought I was fuckin'.
[DAMI LAUGHS]
When the last time you talk to her?
We talk every week. Why?
I don't know, like, if I would
talk to mine that much.
Like, if I'm actually on my own, bro,
like, maybe my dad, but my moms
she be OD, like straight tryin' shit.
- Like, bro
- [ZAYNA LAUGHS]
She's really the reason
why I called ACS.
Like, I can't live with her.
I can't do that shit.
- [UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
- Hey, come through.
Hey, with the spin, hey!
- Ahh! With the spin, hey!
- [PHONE BUZZING]
[JASMINE SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]
Don't fuck with me. [LAUGHS]
Hey, hey.
- It's lit.
- Yo.
- Tryin' to go upstairs?
- Right now?
Yeah.
I'm having fun right here.
- Come on.
- [CLICKS TONGUE] Stop.
That is not even your bag.
[CLICKS TONGUE] You
don't know what's in my bag.
- Stop it.
- Yeah, I do.
You're broke.
You broke too.
Yeah, but you look broke.
At least you don't try
to impress niggas.
Like, you know, you don't
care how you dress at all.
Like, most niggas, they try to front,
try to borrow they
homies' clothes and shit,
but you don't even
be trying to pretend.
That's what I like about you.
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Oh, fuck. Wait.
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Fuck.
I gotta cook dinner for my grandma
and my little brother.
I'm out.
You can't Grubhub it?
You gonna pay for it?
- [SIGHS]
- Exactly.
My grandma is going gambling
with her church next weekend.
So pull up then.
[KEVIN] Okay.
[CANDY BLEAKZ'S "WON LA" PLAYING]
- [SINGING IN YORUBA]
- [PHONE BEEPS]
[JESS] I just don't know why
I'm doing all this stupid
grunt work sometimes.
It's like I'm climbing
a ladder to nowhere
and every other
administrator is old and jaded
and visibly sad.
- The administrators?
- [JESS] Yeah, well, not you.
You're younger and jaded
and visibly sad.
It's not that visible.
[JESS] You know, half the time,
Principal Douglass isn't even here.
I'm sure he's got a second job.
Like, I think I saw him
working at Target,
and we're all just playing
an unwinnable, rigged game.
It's like Wall Street.
[JESS] Some people win on Wall Street.
Right, but we would lose
It's all unwinnable, okay?
I-I'm-I'm covering for the dance coach
and the school play, and I wanted
to change the curriculum
and make some difference,
but I can't touch that.
No, we can't even teach
them Lincoln was gay.
You can say that.
I read a Wikipedia article about that.
When I said it to the principal,
he just said, "Ey-yo."
So I just can't change the system.
No, you can't.
You know, some of the kids
are going through some real shit.
And when I I'm stuck
behind all this red tape
where nothing changes.
Who cares about all the red tape?
We have to care. It's our job.
No, I mean, if you wanna help the kids,
just help; that's fine.
Like, forget your title.
Like like on top
of teaching them science,
like, frankly,
as well as anybody, it
it's also just reaching out to the kids
who, like, want to be reached.
Like, there's
all these bureaucratic rules
or whatever, and they're
just, like, nonsense.
You just, like, have to
tend to your little corner.
[JESS CHUCKLES]
I'm sorry for getting so personal.
- It's all just a lot.
- Sorry.
Maybe this is weird, but I have, like,
a benzo, if you want.
It's like an anti-anxiety pill,
if you would like one.
I can keep saying
comforting words, but I just
I know myself, and I feel
myself running out of them.
- I didn't know you took those.
- Not often.
But when when you said,
"It's all just a lot,"
when I've said that,
that's been the time I've taken them.
- I'll take one if you do.
- You want me to take one too?
Yeah.
Um okay.
So I'll take the other
[JESS CHUCKLES]
[DAMI LAUGHING]
- [DREW] Yo.
- What you doing?
Bro, he don't care.
[MAGNA CARDA'S "PROPAGANDA" PLAYING]
What's shakin' and bakin'?
[INDISTINCT RAPPING]
Who rolled this?
Let me show y'all how to do this, man.
[ZAYNA LAUGHS]
[DREW] I can't be wasting gas
like that.
You take your tobacco leaf
and the marijuana
pack in as much as if you
was on a picnic to the beach.
- [LAUGHING]
- [KNOCK AT DOOR]
I ain't lyin'
All right, look.
Hold it right there. Wait.
Right there.
- Bro
- [BOTH LAUGHING]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'm sorry, bro,
this is all I could get, man.
It's fresh groceries, bro.
We just got them today.
Son, what happened to the roti?
You just cleaned out your fridge?
Look, man, that Tupperware
is really sturdy.
It's brand-new. You can keep it.
It's supposed to last
for, like, five years.
Yo, I'll really slap the shit out you,
you bring this to my crib again.
You lucky my niece in here studyin'.
Appreciate it.
Thank you.
Oh, shit. Here.
Take this out. Recycle it.
All right.
Where was we at? Let's go.
- Tuck and roll.
- [DREW] Tuck and roll.
You already know. Niecey-poo know.
We halfway there
to a perfectly rolled blunt.
Voilà.
- [DAMI] Mm.
- Boom.
- [LOUD POUNDING ON DOOR]
- The fuck?
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Somebody don't want us to smoke.
That's gonna be a good one.
[LOUD POUNDING ON DOOR]
Oh. Y'all, get in the room.
- Get in the room, y'all.
- Shit.
- [DREW] Go get in the room.
- Oh, shit.
[DREW] You good?
No, I'm not good.
Where's my daughter? Dami?
Calm down. Let me grab her.
Hold on. Let me
She was supposed to
be home from school.
Dami, make yourself present.
Dami?
She was supposed to go
to school, then go home.
My wife is going to kill all of us
if I don't collect my daughter.
Please, where is she?
Dami, what are you doing here?
Eh?
Didn't we tell you
to come home after school?
Dami, are you deaf?
You turn my baby into a crackhead?
- [BANG ON DOOR]
- Damilola Oluwafabiola!
What the fuck?
You called Child Services on me?
- Relax.
- Huh? Me!
I will show you today
that I'm your mother.
- In fact
- Ijeoma.
You ain't gotta do all of that.
- Ijeoma.
- Eh, eh, eh, eh!
You, you, you, you.
You, you, you, you are wicked.
You smoke weed around my child, huh?
- I
- Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh!
Don't even try it, devil.
Don't try it.
Come here. [SNIFFING]
You are smoking?
When I was your age,
I had my third business.
You, you're smoking weed.
[WILNER] Let's go.
Is Greta Ton-berg smoking weed?
Mm? Mm?
- It's Thunberg, Mama.
- Don't talk back.
Shut up there.
Eh-eh, let's go.
- Let's go.
- [IJEOMA] Let's go. Come on.
Before I slap you here.
- [WILNER] Please, Ijeoma.
- [IJEOMA SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
[WILNER] Let's go.
Brother, the church
has moved to Rogers.
You should visit sometime.
[IJEOMA] This is all your fault.
- You spoil her.
- [WILNER] Let's go.
It's just another day ♪
Until the sun sets ♪
Then I lose control ♪
I'm just tryin' to soothe ♪
my soul ♪
[JESS] That pill really helped.
That's probably why I go hard ♪
Live hard ♪
Just sorry, there's no strap.
[JESS SCOFFS]
I can never live no lie ♪
- In case we're dying ♪
- [YAWNS]
- Mm. Um
- It's okay.
- You seem tired.
- No, no, no, I'm awake.
I'm super awake. I'm very awake.
It's okay. I was also up at 6:00.
No, no would you have, like,
a Red Bull?
We could both have Red Bulls.
[JESS] Uh
Let's just can we just talk?
Is that okay?
- Yes.
- You awake enough?
Yeah, that's cool.
What, um
[MUSIC CONTINUES QUIETLY]
[DAN BREATHES DEEPLY]
What's up?
Uh, the Dami stuff is just
really stressing me out.
- Wait. Which stuff?
- The Dami stuff.
Mm. Yeah.
I mean, we'll watch her
and keep her out of rice, hmm?
Which doesn't even sound
like it would hurt, honestly.
Well, the rice is uncooked.
But they said she's not
in real danger, and
[SIGHS] I fucked up.
What do you mean?
Well, Dami told me,
when we were at the hospital,
after, you know,
she and Zayna had that fight,
that she needed birth control,
and I know how her parents are,
so I I took her to get some, and
- Totally.
- I'm just worried
that what if someone saw and
and if they did, then, I mean,
I I could lose my job
if if anyone
Found out.
I'm sorry. I actually am feeling tired.
- I don't wanna
- It's okay.
[DAN] I know you said stuff there.
Um, it was about Dami.
So
I'm just dead.
I'm sorry. I'll head out.
I don't want to, like,
be in your space.
Everything true, everything true ♪
Ask about me, I said everything true ♪
So from here on out, ♪
it's no more apologies ♪
[SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYING]
Lady called security.
It's some bullshit.
I'm out of here in the morning.
[PLAYING JAZZY MUSIC]
[GRUNTS, LAUGHS]
[CHUCKLES]
[LESTER LAUGHING]
[GRUNTS]
[LAUGHING]
[JAZZY SAXOPHONE MUSIC]
I'm sorry that, you know
Yeah. I mean
How'd your night go?
Hmm? It was it was fine.
I hung out with Jess. It was
Did Jasmine stay over?
No.
[CAR HORN HONKS]
Oh, we out of eggs.
Fuck, man.
[JAZZY MUSIC]