Fleming: The Man Who Would Be Bond (2013) s01e03 Episode Script
Part 3 of 4
Thank God for petty cash.
Fleming, you can't.
War is not some entertainment laid on for your amusement.
I mean, what's the use of a war if I'm stuck behind a bloody desk for the entire thing? All I need is a radio operator and a car.
Ian's a puzzle.
- (GUN FIRE) - (WOMAN SCREAMING) MURIEL: Would it matter if I really loved him? What do you want from me? IAN: You like that? - (GRUNTING) - (GROANING) Intelligence Commandos.
If the Germans have them, we need them too.
- It's a bloody good idea.
- Thank you.
(ALARM BLARING) (GUNS FIRING) (CLOCK TICKING) (BLARING STOPS) Well done.
Seven minutes.
- Not far off the record.
- Yes.
Unfortunately You're dead.
IAN: How did I measure up? Be brutally honest.
- MAN: Not bad for a pen pusher.
- But if they ever cleared you for front line duty, you'd have to ease off on the booze.
Doctor's orders.
And no more smoking.
At Camp X, we train the best of the best, men in the peak of physical condition.
This isn't a holiday resort.
If you're serious about this Intelligence Commando unit of yours, you'll need to understand that.
In the training documents, you mentioned the K Protocol.
- What is it? - K Protocol is a final test.
We put allied agents through it before we send them into the field.
What does it involve? Sorry.
K Protocol is top secret.
You might have to do it yourself, if they ever let you out from behind that desk.
Colonel William Donovan, US Intelligence coordinator.
Commander Ian Fleming, Royal Navy.
I've heard a lot about you.
I've heard a lot about you too.
But I decided to meet you anyway.
(CHUCKLES) Sit down.
- You sure you won't join us? - I've given up.
So we finally got what we were asking for.
Roosevelt's given his blessing.
MAN: All U.
S.
Intelligence work, Army, Navy, FBI, under one roof.
- A Central Intelligence Agency.
- Exactly.
Well, that's all very well, but if you don't have the right structure in place, then nothing will change.
You chaps are exactly where we were three years ago.
A complete bloody shambles.
You see? You really don't give a shit about offending anyone, do you? Okay.
How about I give you the chance to offend us all royally? Why don't you commit some of these precious ideas of yours to paper? Write me a blueprint for this CIA.
You think you can handle that? I dare say I could.
You've been running Secret Ops since '39.
Impressive.
So who knows, maybe we can learn something.
This is pretty good, and fast.
I thought it'd take you weeks.
Where do you get your ideas from? My own imagination, mainly.
And the help of a few trusted friends.
You're in the wrong line of work.
This is a real page-turner.
You're wasted on the Brits.
You should join the winning team.
Ah, so you're back.
How was Canada? Did they give you any ideas on how to run your own private army? Possibly.
- Miss me? - Not much.
- Fleming, isn't it? - Where is the old boy? JOHN: I haven't got time to deal with this now.
Tell Harris I'll call him back.
I passed all my tests.
- Flying colours, if you'd like to know.
- Not what I heard.
But you never let facts get in the way of a good story.
Now that you're back, I need you to concentrate on the matter in hand.
We're losing this war.
And not just against Germany.
The RAF have scented blood too.
Bomber Harris would give his eye teeth to be rid of me.
He's getting away with murder and we're the ones getting it in the neck.
Perhaps it would be better to put your Intelligence Commandos on the back burner.
No, absolutely not.
Harris will except us to be cautious, so we go on the offensive.
When presented with two paths, always take the riskier.
Those commandos will be prepared to do the unthinkable.
That's how you get results! If we give Bomber Harris a bloody nose in the process, - well, all's fair in love and war.
- True.
What do you think the other services will make of that? They won't like it one bit.
I don't suppose they bloody will.
Two and six please, guv'nor.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
(PANTING) I used more than six inches of bath water.
You won't tell, will you? What are you doing with that? I could ask you the same question.
Very poignant, lyrical.
Rather romantic, in its way.
A chocolate sailor with a soft centre.
So who's the lucky girl who inspired these musings? I didn't know you were a poet.
I'm not.
At least we agree on something.
- IAN: I think you're spying on me.
- That's what you do, isn't it? You were never going to surrender anything willingly.
So I just had to go in and take it.
All's fair in love and war.
You're not angry at me, are you? Not at all.
In fact, I rather admire your cunning.
But you still deserve A good spanking! - (SLAPPING) - WOMAN: Ah! Again! (MOANING) I don't know why you're still seeing Esmond.
He's rich, good-looking.
There are many reasons to be with him.
Is he as good in bed as me? - Are you jealous? - Not in the least.
Actually, I thought I'd pay him a visit.
He's invited me out shooting.
Being the other man gives me rather a lot of - Latitude.
- Isn't it time we stopped playing games? I suppose I shall never leave my husband.
And you're a coward, just like me.
Heroic's best left to your brother, don't you think? (LIGHTER CLICKS) Cigarette? I told you, I've given up.
ESMOND: How was your trip abroad? I can't really talk about it.
I'm sure you'll understand.
You are a riddle.
Ann and her friends talk of nothing but Commander Fleming.
Running The Mail gives one privileges, of course.
Every whisper, every rumour in town eventually reaches my ears.
I even know about you.
We're at war, Esmond.
Do you not think that requires some discretion? Mmm.
I lost Harold and Vere in the Great War.
Both brothers.
Both within weeks of each other.
Horrible business.
But it made one realise what's important in life.
Ann means everything to me.
I'd trade all this.
This estate, the newspapers, even my family's good name, for her.
For love.
- I wonder if you can understand that.
- Yes, of course.
I read a lot of trashy novels.
I'm sorry, that was cheap.
Oh, come on, Esmond.
She's married.
Why rock the boat? A man of your standing.
- (SHOTGUN FIRES) - Christ! Fetch that, would you? There's a chap.
(STOCK BREAKING) - (BIRD CACKLING) - (SHOTGUN FIRES) Missed.
Come on.
We'll be late for lunch.
(OFFICER SHOUTING ORDERS) Weaver.
IAN: No.
Branson.
He's too short.
Cowie.
Impressive.
And yet Stand down, Cowie.
We've seen 133 soldiers.
A1 fitness, exemplary records.
None of them suits you.
May I ask what criteria Second Officer Monday is using to make her selection? Female intuition.
Where's this Private Dixon? During a live fire exercise, Private Dixon was captured.
He tried to escape.
And upon being restrained, broke the arm of one man, the nose of another, and made his way back to his own team.
He's charged with two counts of GBH, further charge of disobeying a lawful order, drunkenness, absence without leave.
Oh, you missed one out.
Assaulting an officer.
IAN: After re-joining you team, did they win or lose? (CHUCKLES) Win, sir.
MAJOR SAMUELS: Are you out of your mind? Private Dixon has A1 fitness, 20/20 vision, single, crack shot, and a total disregard for authority.
We'll take him.
More of the same please, Major Samuels.
PETER: Mother bet me you wouldn't last a week.
IAN: I'm only smoking out of politeness.
Anyway, I hope you told her to mind her own bloody business.
I do try to fight your corner with her.
I know you'd stick up for me, too.
Mmm.
(SIGHS) We've been at war since we were nine years old.
We're like allies facing an insuperable enemy.
(CHUCKLES) Cold, ruthless and unstoppable.
I sometimes wonder why they don't send our mother to the front.
She'd have this bloody mess cleaned up in days.
I don't think even Adolf deserves that.
I can't believe you've taken on a desk job.
You must've wanted to kill her.
Of course.
I just didn't show it.
You've never really talked about your time in the field.
Now you wonder why I don't talk about it.
Because it's bloody messy.
What is it like to kill a man? Well, it's not something I'd like to shout about, but you always did like the grisly details.
You really want to know? Hmm.
Your palms sweat.
You feel blood pumping, you feel faint, but every moment is crisp and clear.
Some people can pull the trigger, some can't.
It's horrible.
I think I'd be rather good at it.
- (GUNS FIRING) - Come on, you bastards! Get your fucking heads down! IAN: Congratulations.
You've survived training, by being more vicious, more cutthroat than anyone else.
You're now ready to go on your mission behind enemy lines.
Chances are none of us will come back alive.
(GUNS FIRING) But so what? Most of you don't care whether you live or whether you die, and that is why you've been chosen.
You're rejects, the worst of the worst.
All your lives you've been told that you're no bloody good.
Well, now here's a chance to prove them wrong.
Wreak havoc with the enemy.
Spread fear.
Then maybe, just maybe, we have a chance of winning this bloody war.
(MEN SHOUTING) Ceasefire! 30 Assault Unit.
They won't be bound by the usual red tape.
Secrecy, speed, cunning, ambush.
That's the way they'll operate.
You can see why I call them my Red Indians.
I don't know what effect they'll have on the enemy, but they bloody terrify me.
This is the blacklist of targets, requests from every department for information.
Ciphers, plans, machinery, orders of battle.
So we know what we're looking for once we hit the ground in Algiers with Patton's boys.
You seem to be under the impression you're going with them.
Well, I am their commanding officer.
I thought we agreed.
Technically yes, but I need you here with me.
This whole unit was my idea.
If there's something I've missed Look, the idea to put this unit together was inspired.
A real breakthrough.
It's the only reason I'm putting myself in the firing line.
But some men just aren't suited to life in the field.
You can lead them from London.
I'm sorry, that's my final word.
ANN: Another thinly-veiled hatchet job by that unspeakable woman in the Express yesterday.
Unbelievable.
Of course, things would be so much simpler if we were married.
One club.
Loelia thinks I should get a divorce.
You don't love your husband.
There is Esmond hopelessly in love with you.
Filthy rich, powerful, good to look at.
I can't see why you'd hesitate.
Two spades.
Divorce is a dreadful idea.
Betrayal.
Unthinkable.
No bid.
- That's a bit strong, isn't it? - Come on, Esmond.
You know how this works.
Shane wouldn't grant a divorce.
You'd have to force his hand, expose yourself to the press.
Complete scandal.
Reputation in tatters.
No more dinners at Number 10.
Three spades.
No bid.
Pass.
No bid.
Would you excuse me a moment? Gosh.
So steely and cruel.
What a catch! Yes, I assure you, Mother.
If I'd known If I'd known you were staying here, I would've Yes, I'm downstairs now.
Well, perhaps I could pop up in an hour.
Yes, of course.
Right away.
I know what you're doing.
You're not in love with him.
Does my happiness not count? You don't wanna be happy.
You'd be bored after five minutes.
You know what to do then.
You want me to marry you, do you? So we can stare at each other over the breakfast table, we'll sleep with our backs to one another, occasionally argue That's what you think marriage is like? So I'll just stay miserable.
How very kind of you.
You see, I'm not designed for marriage.
No.
Evidently not.
IAN: So, this is how the other half lives? Rather cosy.
I wouldn't mind it myself.
Actually, this place is really going to the dogs.
One bumps into all sorts of people.
Since the war, they let anyone in.
It's a bit like Paddington station.
I presume that means you've met someone you dislike.
Well, I notice that woman is staying here.
Ann O'Neill.
I saw her in the lobby yesterday.
Well, I'm not sure that my choice of bridge partners is any of your concern.
Bridge.
Is that what they call it these days? I didn't take you for a prude, Mother.
Especially not with your history.
Sit down, Ian.
Everyone knows what that harlot gets up to behind her husband's back.
Are you in love with her? Oh, I see.
Can't end well, Ian.
You're a plaything.
A pretty toy for a spoilt, little rich girl with a high opinion of herself and a taste in powerful men.
She'll break you.
Are we done? Ann and Esmond decided to make it an early night.
I don't know why.
She tells me, Esmond hasn't come scratching at her door since Christmas.
How long have you known Ann? Since we were children, really.
We're almost sisters.
Is that right? Why are you looking at me like that? (MOANING) Ian, you dark horse! Who knew? (GRUNTING) Ian, please, you're hurting me.
Ian! (PANTING) What's wrong with you? I'm sorry.
Look, perhaps you should Yes.
Perhaps I should.
I think we both know I'm not the one you wanted in your bed tonight.
Darling, it's fine.
I know it's a beastly situation.
But being so angry and reckless all the time, it won't do you any good.
Right.
Now that we've got all that out of our systems I'm famished.
Now, the matter of 30 Assault Unit.
I'm getting complaints.
The Americans can't understand why our navy is in the desert.
Quite frankly, neither can I.
30 AU is a rogue outfit.
They seem to think they have a licence to kill.
That's the point, Harris.
Didn't realise you were so squeamish.
This is total war.
I understand that better than anyone else.
But we need to maintain good relations with General Patton at all costs.
Perhaps you'd like us to hand over all our intelligence to the Americans too.
Don't be so damned impertinent! Whatever you say, 30 AU has been a success in Algeria, we all know that.
You'll be hearing a lot more from them in the future.
I stake my reputation on it.
I'm surprised at you defending this mob, Godfrey.
But I suppose now we can see why this 30 AU bunch is the disorganised rabble it is.
Moving on Cholmondeley.
Our aerial reconnaissance shows the Nazis have anticipated the next phase in the Allied offensive, the push into Europe from North Africa.
The obvious target is Sicily.
The Germans have already begun reinforcing, so our invasion plans may be unworkable.
We need to persuade them our target is elsewhere.
- Sir - (SHUSHING) I propose to plant fake documents on a body, drop it into the sea, let it wash up on shore with false information, feed it to German Intelligence.
Oh, this is unbelievable! HARRIS: Keep your boy on a leash, Godfrey! Excellent, Cholmondeley.
The dead body, the fake identity, the false papers, all bloody mine! Who cares if he stole your idea, as long as it works.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same.
At least it shows they're learning how to fight dirty.
It would be useful if it was against the fucking Germans, and not their own! Listen, you're lucky to get out of there without a court martial.
They're gunning for 30 AU because it's not the way things are done.
Harris hates the Navy, he hates me.
He wants me and you gone.
So let me handle this, and don't be so bloody difficult.
They will credit your idea, sir, when it all goes wrong.
Don't you ever knock? We should put you behind enemy lines.
Did you bring her here? - Well, if you really want the details - Loelia told me the details.
Then you know it meant nothing.
You did it to hurt me.
Isn't that what you like? You just used her as a weapon.
Loelia said you'd been complaining.
She said Esmond hasn't fucked you since Christmas.
How dare you! - Calm down! Calm down! - Get off me! No, I won't! - Calm down! - (ANN PANICKING) Ow! (ANN PANTING) My black and blue Annie.
Esmond will never say anything.
He thinks I'll change.
Is this how it goes? You won't allow yourself to love me.
And I can't love you.
(VOICES OVERLAP) Because as soon as a woman does, you don't want her any more.
So the only way I can have you, is to not to have you.
The only way to know what you really feel is this.
This is how it has to be.
Bit overwrought, didn't you think? At least I wrote it myself.
You seem unfamiliar with the concept.
Maybe that's why they put me in charge and not you! Now, now, gentlemen.
Let's stick to the matter in hand.
I can hear our man's voice.
What he drinks, how he walks, how he talks.
So we need to feel how he loves too.
See, I want to believe in him.
I want them to believe in him.
We should imagine what he's thinking, realising he's going to die, those last few thoughts rushing through his mind.
The sweetheart that he left behind, her blond hair, those lips.
You really do have rather a flair for this, don't you, sir? A few props.
Fond memories.
Sentimental nonsense, really.
Do we have a photograph? Our man would have a picture of his girl.
Yes, I photographed some of the girls in the corridor in case you might Ah.
Yes.
There we have him.
The man who loved And lost.
Now all we need is a body.
MONDAY: There's something oddly familiar about this chap.
Secretly wants to be a writer, spends more than he earns, a ladies' man.
Is he trying to give up smoking by any chance? I really don't know what you're talking about.
Rat poison, apparently.
A tramp living rough, probably ate some bread laced with strychnine.
- No, this isn't our man.
- His teeth.
Our man wouldn't have rotten teeth, they'd be clean.
Or he'd have them out.
- Maybe a dentist could - Don't be ridiculous.
He's malnourished, and those toenails.
I think it's fine.
Once the fish have had a nibble, who'd know the difference? I told you a million times, we have to believe in him totally.
His hopes, his fears, and especially his bloody teeth.
Short of asking for a volunteer, and drowning them.
Now, that's the first smart idea you've come up with all day.
Good of you to offer.
Oh, Mrs Fleming.
How nice to see you.
Lady O'Neill.
For a moment I didn't recognise you.
I could've walked right past you as if you weren't there.
- Are you here to meet Ian? - No.
He's up to something.
Winning the war, he says.
Sometimes I think he just makes it all up.
Ian's always joking.
I can never quite tell when he's being serious.
Telling the truth was never his strong point.
I used to find it endlessly amusing.
Actually, I was hoping to bump into you.
I was wondering if you might be persuaded to join my benefit committee for invalided soldiers? I know war has affected you and your family.
My boys are both making a real contribution.
It's only fair I should try to do my bit too.
Thank you.
- Excuse me, Lady O'Neill.
- Oh.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Excuse me.
Just to warn you, sir, they haven't been refrigerated.
How many men? Nearly 400, all told.
(GAGS) - MONDAY: Shall we? - No time like the present.
(CLEARS THROAT) Ah.
Over here, sir.
- What do you think? - That he looks a little like you, sir.
Show me his teeth.
That's our man.
IAN: There he goes, the man who never was.
Where did they decide on in the end? We're invading Greece.
According to his documents, we're not going anywhere near Sicily.
A bloody good idea.
Whoever came up with it.
Oh, cheer up.
What is it they say? It's much more disheartening to have to steal than be stolen from.
Anyway, let's hope they fall for it.
- Good night, sir.
- I was just wondering about him.
- Who? - Our man that never was.
What would they say about me, do you think? A ladies' man? He filed, he lunched, loved and lost.
At least our man gets to see some bloody action.
I shouldn't feel too sorry for yourself, sir.
I know people who've never come back.
I wouldn't want the same thing to happen to you.
Yes, I suppose you're right.
My filing is bloody good.
Hitler must be quaking in his boots.
Commander Fleming, a message.
Lady O'Neill.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Ann? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) What on earth's the matter? Poor Shane.
Killed in action.
I'm so sorry.
I did love him, you know.
What is it they say? Death is the best revenge.
Esmond is on his way over.
Really? - That didn't take him long.
- No, I wanted I needed to see you first.
You will survive this.
I'm not interested in surviving.
I'm not interested in being somebody's widow.
I like being married.
I need to be married.
The question is to who? You mean, "To whom".
Look, I should go.
If Esmond arrives I'm no good on my own.
Esmond will give me time to mourn, but he won't wait forever.
It bloody well worked.
The Germans are redeploying from Sicily to Greece.
The Spanish picked up the corpse, the Germans fell for it hook, line and sinker.
- Good job, Ian.
- Thank you, sir.
Now we just need to get your indecent assault unit under control.
I've got a pile of complaints on my desk.
They need a leader.
Put a senior officer with them out in the field.
- You know my answer.
- I need to go with them.
The war's being fought out there, that's where I should be.
Give me any test.
If I fail, I'll sit out the war behind a bloody desk.
If I pass, you send me to Europe with 30 Assault Unit.
Ever heard of the K Protocol? Remember your training, take advantage of conditions.
Make your way to the room.
You'll find a man in there.
He should be alone.
And then? Kill him.
Now you know what the "K" stands for.
(SIREN BLARING) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (GUN CLICKS) JOHN: How did he do? Good job they weren't real bullets.
JOHN: Don't be too hard on yourself.
I never passed K Protocol either.
I was a thinker not a doer, perhaps you're the same.
And I have some good news.
30 Assault Unit is being expanded.
They're tripling the size.
More resources, more freedom of movement.
A massive success.
And the bad news? They're taking it away from us.
Too many complaints, too much indiscipline.
- Could be worse, I suppose.
- It is worse.
They're relieving me of my command.
Harris got his way.
30 AU was all the excuse he needed.
I've crossed a line and I must pay the price.
30 AU was mine.
I'll hand in my resignation.
No.
You have to know when to hold out and when to fall on your sword.
I've enjoyed our time together.
But I shall fade away into the background.
In any case, there it is.
Your replacement will be some faceless timeserver who won't say boo to a goose.
Yes, you'll have your work cut out to cause any trouble at all.
But I have faith in you.
Oh, I think I need that cigarette now.
I think you've earned it, sir.
It's me.
I need to see you.
Don't do this to me.
Please.
Ann? Who were you talking to? It was him, wasn't it? What's his hold over you? All this time I thought it was your husband that was the barrier between us.
- But it's Ian, isn't it? - Don't.
Not now.
Tell me, why are you like this? I want to know.
You're being ridiculous.
(CHUCKLES) Why can't we just be happy? Hmm? (SIGHS) My condolences.
Are you all right? Esmond.
He's going to ask me to marry him.
One man, a vehicle, that's all I need.
EVE: You live in a fantasy world.
Lies and inventions.
Remember me? This question's becoming an obsession to you.
We found nothing here.
Why? I want to be married.
My son, he's not for you.
Ian, old chap.
Looks like you might have a war after all.
Nazi soldiers, they slit your throats, they keep you alive, just for fun.
(GRUNTING) I'm a British officer.
Fleming, you can't.
War is not some entertainment laid on for your amusement.
I mean, what's the use of a war if I'm stuck behind a bloody desk for the entire thing? All I need is a radio operator and a car.
Ian's a puzzle.
- (GUN FIRE) - (WOMAN SCREAMING) MURIEL: Would it matter if I really loved him? What do you want from me? IAN: You like that? - (GRUNTING) - (GROANING) Intelligence Commandos.
If the Germans have them, we need them too.
- It's a bloody good idea.
- Thank you.
(ALARM BLARING) (GUNS FIRING) (CLOCK TICKING) (BLARING STOPS) Well done.
Seven minutes.
- Not far off the record.
- Yes.
Unfortunately You're dead.
IAN: How did I measure up? Be brutally honest.
- MAN: Not bad for a pen pusher.
- But if they ever cleared you for front line duty, you'd have to ease off on the booze.
Doctor's orders.
And no more smoking.
At Camp X, we train the best of the best, men in the peak of physical condition.
This isn't a holiday resort.
If you're serious about this Intelligence Commando unit of yours, you'll need to understand that.
In the training documents, you mentioned the K Protocol.
- What is it? - K Protocol is a final test.
We put allied agents through it before we send them into the field.
What does it involve? Sorry.
K Protocol is top secret.
You might have to do it yourself, if they ever let you out from behind that desk.
Colonel William Donovan, US Intelligence coordinator.
Commander Ian Fleming, Royal Navy.
I've heard a lot about you.
I've heard a lot about you too.
But I decided to meet you anyway.
(CHUCKLES) Sit down.
- You sure you won't join us? - I've given up.
So we finally got what we were asking for.
Roosevelt's given his blessing.
MAN: All U.
S.
Intelligence work, Army, Navy, FBI, under one roof.
- A Central Intelligence Agency.
- Exactly.
Well, that's all very well, but if you don't have the right structure in place, then nothing will change.
You chaps are exactly where we were three years ago.
A complete bloody shambles.
You see? You really don't give a shit about offending anyone, do you? Okay.
How about I give you the chance to offend us all royally? Why don't you commit some of these precious ideas of yours to paper? Write me a blueprint for this CIA.
You think you can handle that? I dare say I could.
You've been running Secret Ops since '39.
Impressive.
So who knows, maybe we can learn something.
This is pretty good, and fast.
I thought it'd take you weeks.
Where do you get your ideas from? My own imagination, mainly.
And the help of a few trusted friends.
You're in the wrong line of work.
This is a real page-turner.
You're wasted on the Brits.
You should join the winning team.
Ah, so you're back.
How was Canada? Did they give you any ideas on how to run your own private army? Possibly.
- Miss me? - Not much.
- Fleming, isn't it? - Where is the old boy? JOHN: I haven't got time to deal with this now.
Tell Harris I'll call him back.
I passed all my tests.
- Flying colours, if you'd like to know.
- Not what I heard.
But you never let facts get in the way of a good story.
Now that you're back, I need you to concentrate on the matter in hand.
We're losing this war.
And not just against Germany.
The RAF have scented blood too.
Bomber Harris would give his eye teeth to be rid of me.
He's getting away with murder and we're the ones getting it in the neck.
Perhaps it would be better to put your Intelligence Commandos on the back burner.
No, absolutely not.
Harris will except us to be cautious, so we go on the offensive.
When presented with two paths, always take the riskier.
Those commandos will be prepared to do the unthinkable.
That's how you get results! If we give Bomber Harris a bloody nose in the process, - well, all's fair in love and war.
- True.
What do you think the other services will make of that? They won't like it one bit.
I don't suppose they bloody will.
Two and six please, guv'nor.
- Thank you.
- Thank you, sir.
(PANTING) I used more than six inches of bath water.
You won't tell, will you? What are you doing with that? I could ask you the same question.
Very poignant, lyrical.
Rather romantic, in its way.
A chocolate sailor with a soft centre.
So who's the lucky girl who inspired these musings? I didn't know you were a poet.
I'm not.
At least we agree on something.
- IAN: I think you're spying on me.
- That's what you do, isn't it? You were never going to surrender anything willingly.
So I just had to go in and take it.
All's fair in love and war.
You're not angry at me, are you? Not at all.
In fact, I rather admire your cunning.
But you still deserve A good spanking! - (SLAPPING) - WOMAN: Ah! Again! (MOANING) I don't know why you're still seeing Esmond.
He's rich, good-looking.
There are many reasons to be with him.
Is he as good in bed as me? - Are you jealous? - Not in the least.
Actually, I thought I'd pay him a visit.
He's invited me out shooting.
Being the other man gives me rather a lot of - Latitude.
- Isn't it time we stopped playing games? I suppose I shall never leave my husband.
And you're a coward, just like me.
Heroic's best left to your brother, don't you think? (LIGHTER CLICKS) Cigarette? I told you, I've given up.
ESMOND: How was your trip abroad? I can't really talk about it.
I'm sure you'll understand.
You are a riddle.
Ann and her friends talk of nothing but Commander Fleming.
Running The Mail gives one privileges, of course.
Every whisper, every rumour in town eventually reaches my ears.
I even know about you.
We're at war, Esmond.
Do you not think that requires some discretion? Mmm.
I lost Harold and Vere in the Great War.
Both brothers.
Both within weeks of each other.
Horrible business.
But it made one realise what's important in life.
Ann means everything to me.
I'd trade all this.
This estate, the newspapers, even my family's good name, for her.
For love.
- I wonder if you can understand that.
- Yes, of course.
I read a lot of trashy novels.
I'm sorry, that was cheap.
Oh, come on, Esmond.
She's married.
Why rock the boat? A man of your standing.
- (SHOTGUN FIRES) - Christ! Fetch that, would you? There's a chap.
(STOCK BREAKING) - (BIRD CACKLING) - (SHOTGUN FIRES) Missed.
Come on.
We'll be late for lunch.
(OFFICER SHOUTING ORDERS) Weaver.
IAN: No.
Branson.
He's too short.
Cowie.
Impressive.
And yet Stand down, Cowie.
We've seen 133 soldiers.
A1 fitness, exemplary records.
None of them suits you.
May I ask what criteria Second Officer Monday is using to make her selection? Female intuition.
Where's this Private Dixon? During a live fire exercise, Private Dixon was captured.
He tried to escape.
And upon being restrained, broke the arm of one man, the nose of another, and made his way back to his own team.
He's charged with two counts of GBH, further charge of disobeying a lawful order, drunkenness, absence without leave.
Oh, you missed one out.
Assaulting an officer.
IAN: After re-joining you team, did they win or lose? (CHUCKLES) Win, sir.
MAJOR SAMUELS: Are you out of your mind? Private Dixon has A1 fitness, 20/20 vision, single, crack shot, and a total disregard for authority.
We'll take him.
More of the same please, Major Samuels.
PETER: Mother bet me you wouldn't last a week.
IAN: I'm only smoking out of politeness.
Anyway, I hope you told her to mind her own bloody business.
I do try to fight your corner with her.
I know you'd stick up for me, too.
Mmm.
(SIGHS) We've been at war since we were nine years old.
We're like allies facing an insuperable enemy.
(CHUCKLES) Cold, ruthless and unstoppable.
I sometimes wonder why they don't send our mother to the front.
She'd have this bloody mess cleaned up in days.
I don't think even Adolf deserves that.
I can't believe you've taken on a desk job.
You must've wanted to kill her.
Of course.
I just didn't show it.
You've never really talked about your time in the field.
Now you wonder why I don't talk about it.
Because it's bloody messy.
What is it like to kill a man? Well, it's not something I'd like to shout about, but you always did like the grisly details.
You really want to know? Hmm.
Your palms sweat.
You feel blood pumping, you feel faint, but every moment is crisp and clear.
Some people can pull the trigger, some can't.
It's horrible.
I think I'd be rather good at it.
- (GUNS FIRING) - Come on, you bastards! Get your fucking heads down! IAN: Congratulations.
You've survived training, by being more vicious, more cutthroat than anyone else.
You're now ready to go on your mission behind enemy lines.
Chances are none of us will come back alive.
(GUNS FIRING) But so what? Most of you don't care whether you live or whether you die, and that is why you've been chosen.
You're rejects, the worst of the worst.
All your lives you've been told that you're no bloody good.
Well, now here's a chance to prove them wrong.
Wreak havoc with the enemy.
Spread fear.
Then maybe, just maybe, we have a chance of winning this bloody war.
(MEN SHOUTING) Ceasefire! 30 Assault Unit.
They won't be bound by the usual red tape.
Secrecy, speed, cunning, ambush.
That's the way they'll operate.
You can see why I call them my Red Indians.
I don't know what effect they'll have on the enemy, but they bloody terrify me.
This is the blacklist of targets, requests from every department for information.
Ciphers, plans, machinery, orders of battle.
So we know what we're looking for once we hit the ground in Algiers with Patton's boys.
You seem to be under the impression you're going with them.
Well, I am their commanding officer.
I thought we agreed.
Technically yes, but I need you here with me.
This whole unit was my idea.
If there's something I've missed Look, the idea to put this unit together was inspired.
A real breakthrough.
It's the only reason I'm putting myself in the firing line.
But some men just aren't suited to life in the field.
You can lead them from London.
I'm sorry, that's my final word.
ANN: Another thinly-veiled hatchet job by that unspeakable woman in the Express yesterday.
Unbelievable.
Of course, things would be so much simpler if we were married.
One club.
Loelia thinks I should get a divorce.
You don't love your husband.
There is Esmond hopelessly in love with you.
Filthy rich, powerful, good to look at.
I can't see why you'd hesitate.
Two spades.
Divorce is a dreadful idea.
Betrayal.
Unthinkable.
No bid.
- That's a bit strong, isn't it? - Come on, Esmond.
You know how this works.
Shane wouldn't grant a divorce.
You'd have to force his hand, expose yourself to the press.
Complete scandal.
Reputation in tatters.
No more dinners at Number 10.
Three spades.
No bid.
Pass.
No bid.
Would you excuse me a moment? Gosh.
So steely and cruel.
What a catch! Yes, I assure you, Mother.
If I'd known If I'd known you were staying here, I would've Yes, I'm downstairs now.
Well, perhaps I could pop up in an hour.
Yes, of course.
Right away.
I know what you're doing.
You're not in love with him.
Does my happiness not count? You don't wanna be happy.
You'd be bored after five minutes.
You know what to do then.
You want me to marry you, do you? So we can stare at each other over the breakfast table, we'll sleep with our backs to one another, occasionally argue That's what you think marriage is like? So I'll just stay miserable.
How very kind of you.
You see, I'm not designed for marriage.
No.
Evidently not.
IAN: So, this is how the other half lives? Rather cosy.
I wouldn't mind it myself.
Actually, this place is really going to the dogs.
One bumps into all sorts of people.
Since the war, they let anyone in.
It's a bit like Paddington station.
I presume that means you've met someone you dislike.
Well, I notice that woman is staying here.
Ann O'Neill.
I saw her in the lobby yesterday.
Well, I'm not sure that my choice of bridge partners is any of your concern.
Bridge.
Is that what they call it these days? I didn't take you for a prude, Mother.
Especially not with your history.
Sit down, Ian.
Everyone knows what that harlot gets up to behind her husband's back.
Are you in love with her? Oh, I see.
Can't end well, Ian.
You're a plaything.
A pretty toy for a spoilt, little rich girl with a high opinion of herself and a taste in powerful men.
She'll break you.
Are we done? Ann and Esmond decided to make it an early night.
I don't know why.
She tells me, Esmond hasn't come scratching at her door since Christmas.
How long have you known Ann? Since we were children, really.
We're almost sisters.
Is that right? Why are you looking at me like that? (MOANING) Ian, you dark horse! Who knew? (GRUNTING) Ian, please, you're hurting me.
Ian! (PANTING) What's wrong with you? I'm sorry.
Look, perhaps you should Yes.
Perhaps I should.
I think we both know I'm not the one you wanted in your bed tonight.
Darling, it's fine.
I know it's a beastly situation.
But being so angry and reckless all the time, it won't do you any good.
Right.
Now that we've got all that out of our systems I'm famished.
Now, the matter of 30 Assault Unit.
I'm getting complaints.
The Americans can't understand why our navy is in the desert.
Quite frankly, neither can I.
30 AU is a rogue outfit.
They seem to think they have a licence to kill.
That's the point, Harris.
Didn't realise you were so squeamish.
This is total war.
I understand that better than anyone else.
But we need to maintain good relations with General Patton at all costs.
Perhaps you'd like us to hand over all our intelligence to the Americans too.
Don't be so damned impertinent! Whatever you say, 30 AU has been a success in Algeria, we all know that.
You'll be hearing a lot more from them in the future.
I stake my reputation on it.
I'm surprised at you defending this mob, Godfrey.
But I suppose now we can see why this 30 AU bunch is the disorganised rabble it is.
Moving on Cholmondeley.
Our aerial reconnaissance shows the Nazis have anticipated the next phase in the Allied offensive, the push into Europe from North Africa.
The obvious target is Sicily.
The Germans have already begun reinforcing, so our invasion plans may be unworkable.
We need to persuade them our target is elsewhere.
- Sir - (SHUSHING) I propose to plant fake documents on a body, drop it into the sea, let it wash up on shore with false information, feed it to German Intelligence.
Oh, this is unbelievable! HARRIS: Keep your boy on a leash, Godfrey! Excellent, Cholmondeley.
The dead body, the fake identity, the false papers, all bloody mine! Who cares if he stole your idea, as long as it works.
Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same.
At least it shows they're learning how to fight dirty.
It would be useful if it was against the fucking Germans, and not their own! Listen, you're lucky to get out of there without a court martial.
They're gunning for 30 AU because it's not the way things are done.
Harris hates the Navy, he hates me.
He wants me and you gone.
So let me handle this, and don't be so bloody difficult.
They will credit your idea, sir, when it all goes wrong.
Don't you ever knock? We should put you behind enemy lines.
Did you bring her here? - Well, if you really want the details - Loelia told me the details.
Then you know it meant nothing.
You did it to hurt me.
Isn't that what you like? You just used her as a weapon.
Loelia said you'd been complaining.
She said Esmond hasn't fucked you since Christmas.
How dare you! - Calm down! Calm down! - Get off me! No, I won't! - Calm down! - (ANN PANICKING) Ow! (ANN PANTING) My black and blue Annie.
Esmond will never say anything.
He thinks I'll change.
Is this how it goes? You won't allow yourself to love me.
And I can't love you.
(VOICES OVERLAP) Because as soon as a woman does, you don't want her any more.
So the only way I can have you, is to not to have you.
The only way to know what you really feel is this.
This is how it has to be.
Bit overwrought, didn't you think? At least I wrote it myself.
You seem unfamiliar with the concept.
Maybe that's why they put me in charge and not you! Now, now, gentlemen.
Let's stick to the matter in hand.
I can hear our man's voice.
What he drinks, how he walks, how he talks.
So we need to feel how he loves too.
See, I want to believe in him.
I want them to believe in him.
We should imagine what he's thinking, realising he's going to die, those last few thoughts rushing through his mind.
The sweetheart that he left behind, her blond hair, those lips.
You really do have rather a flair for this, don't you, sir? A few props.
Fond memories.
Sentimental nonsense, really.
Do we have a photograph? Our man would have a picture of his girl.
Yes, I photographed some of the girls in the corridor in case you might Ah.
Yes.
There we have him.
The man who loved And lost.
Now all we need is a body.
MONDAY: There's something oddly familiar about this chap.
Secretly wants to be a writer, spends more than he earns, a ladies' man.
Is he trying to give up smoking by any chance? I really don't know what you're talking about.
Rat poison, apparently.
A tramp living rough, probably ate some bread laced with strychnine.
- No, this isn't our man.
- His teeth.
Our man wouldn't have rotten teeth, they'd be clean.
Or he'd have them out.
- Maybe a dentist could - Don't be ridiculous.
He's malnourished, and those toenails.
I think it's fine.
Once the fish have had a nibble, who'd know the difference? I told you a million times, we have to believe in him totally.
His hopes, his fears, and especially his bloody teeth.
Short of asking for a volunteer, and drowning them.
Now, that's the first smart idea you've come up with all day.
Good of you to offer.
Oh, Mrs Fleming.
How nice to see you.
Lady O'Neill.
For a moment I didn't recognise you.
I could've walked right past you as if you weren't there.
- Are you here to meet Ian? - No.
He's up to something.
Winning the war, he says.
Sometimes I think he just makes it all up.
Ian's always joking.
I can never quite tell when he's being serious.
Telling the truth was never his strong point.
I used to find it endlessly amusing.
Actually, I was hoping to bump into you.
I was wondering if you might be persuaded to join my benefit committee for invalided soldiers? I know war has affected you and your family.
My boys are both making a real contribution.
It's only fair I should try to do my bit too.
Thank you.
- Excuse me, Lady O'Neill.
- Oh.
Thank you.
(SIGHS) Excuse me.
Just to warn you, sir, they haven't been refrigerated.
How many men? Nearly 400, all told.
(GAGS) - MONDAY: Shall we? - No time like the present.
(CLEARS THROAT) Ah.
Over here, sir.
- What do you think? - That he looks a little like you, sir.
Show me his teeth.
That's our man.
IAN: There he goes, the man who never was.
Where did they decide on in the end? We're invading Greece.
According to his documents, we're not going anywhere near Sicily.
A bloody good idea.
Whoever came up with it.
Oh, cheer up.
What is it they say? It's much more disheartening to have to steal than be stolen from.
Anyway, let's hope they fall for it.
- Good night, sir.
- I was just wondering about him.
- Who? - Our man that never was.
What would they say about me, do you think? A ladies' man? He filed, he lunched, loved and lost.
At least our man gets to see some bloody action.
I shouldn't feel too sorry for yourself, sir.
I know people who've never come back.
I wouldn't want the same thing to happen to you.
Yes, I suppose you're right.
My filing is bloody good.
Hitler must be quaking in his boots.
Commander Fleming, a message.
Lady O'Neill.
(KNOCKING ON DOOR) Ann? (KNOCKING ON DOOR) What on earth's the matter? Poor Shane.
Killed in action.
I'm so sorry.
I did love him, you know.
What is it they say? Death is the best revenge.
Esmond is on his way over.
Really? - That didn't take him long.
- No, I wanted I needed to see you first.
You will survive this.
I'm not interested in surviving.
I'm not interested in being somebody's widow.
I like being married.
I need to be married.
The question is to who? You mean, "To whom".
Look, I should go.
If Esmond arrives I'm no good on my own.
Esmond will give me time to mourn, but he won't wait forever.
It bloody well worked.
The Germans are redeploying from Sicily to Greece.
The Spanish picked up the corpse, the Germans fell for it hook, line and sinker.
- Good job, Ian.
- Thank you, sir.
Now we just need to get your indecent assault unit under control.
I've got a pile of complaints on my desk.
They need a leader.
Put a senior officer with them out in the field.
- You know my answer.
- I need to go with them.
The war's being fought out there, that's where I should be.
Give me any test.
If I fail, I'll sit out the war behind a bloody desk.
If I pass, you send me to Europe with 30 Assault Unit.
Ever heard of the K Protocol? Remember your training, take advantage of conditions.
Make your way to the room.
You'll find a man in there.
He should be alone.
And then? Kill him.
Now you know what the "K" stands for.
(SIREN BLARING) (GRUNTING) (BREATHING HEAVILY) (GUN CLICKS) JOHN: How did he do? Good job they weren't real bullets.
JOHN: Don't be too hard on yourself.
I never passed K Protocol either.
I was a thinker not a doer, perhaps you're the same.
And I have some good news.
30 Assault Unit is being expanded.
They're tripling the size.
More resources, more freedom of movement.
A massive success.
And the bad news? They're taking it away from us.
Too many complaints, too much indiscipline.
- Could be worse, I suppose.
- It is worse.
They're relieving me of my command.
Harris got his way.
30 AU was all the excuse he needed.
I've crossed a line and I must pay the price.
30 AU was mine.
I'll hand in my resignation.
No.
You have to know when to hold out and when to fall on your sword.
I've enjoyed our time together.
But I shall fade away into the background.
In any case, there it is.
Your replacement will be some faceless timeserver who won't say boo to a goose.
Yes, you'll have your work cut out to cause any trouble at all.
But I have faith in you.
Oh, I think I need that cigarette now.
I think you've earned it, sir.
It's me.
I need to see you.
Don't do this to me.
Please.
Ann? Who were you talking to? It was him, wasn't it? What's his hold over you? All this time I thought it was your husband that was the barrier between us.
- But it's Ian, isn't it? - Don't.
Not now.
Tell me, why are you like this? I want to know.
You're being ridiculous.
(CHUCKLES) Why can't we just be happy? Hmm? (SIGHS) My condolences.
Are you all right? Esmond.
He's going to ask me to marry him.
One man, a vehicle, that's all I need.
EVE: You live in a fantasy world.
Lies and inventions.
Remember me? This question's becoming an obsession to you.
We found nothing here.
Why? I want to be married.
My son, he's not for you.
Ian, old chap.
Looks like you might have a war after all.
Nazi soldiers, they slit your throats, they keep you alive, just for fun.
(GRUNTING) I'm a British officer.