Florida Man (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

1
["Security" playing]
Security, will you let me in your pub? ♪
I'm not looking for trouble
I'm looking for love ♪
I'm not looking for harm
I'm looking for love ♪
Will you let me in your hard heart?
Let me in your pub ♪
[truck starting]
[tires squealing]
In a twist, a Florida man
broke into the Orange County Jail today.
The suspect, out on bail
on charges of robbing a jewelry store,
wanted to retrieve his cell phone
from the effects locker
because it contained directions
to his next robbery.
[clattering]
- Oh, shit!
- Oh, shit!
- Shit.
- Run!
[alarm blaring]
Shit, shit, shit.
Get the hell back here!
Get back there, now!
I wanna deceive you
You're stupid, I'm fast ♪
I'm not looking for trouble
I'm looking for love ♪
I'm looking for love ♪
Will you let me in your hard heart? ♪
Let me in your hard heart
Let me in your pub ♪
[woman 1] How you gals doing here?
[woman 2] Pretty good, thanks.
[indistinct chatter]
[man] Yeah? Okay.
[Delly] Where's Sonny?
You must be the girl who wasn't murdered.
Not yet anyway.
What are you drinking?
[Delly] What will this get me?
That will probably get you
most of that top shelf
and this entire building.
There's more.
Where?
I don't know.
Might be where you come in.
Your son said
you're a man of many talents.
Mike said that about me?
I'm paraphrasing.
He doesn't know you're here.
He doesn't think it's true.
I'm guessing, uh
bourbon.
[Delly] See? Already solving mysteries.
So Mike said I was good
at finding things, huh?
Yeah.
- Mike said "acquiring."
- This acquisition
- how many figures we talking?
- Nine.
But to be honest,
eight of those are zeros.
[cell phone ringing]
One second.
- Hey.
- [Mike] I know where the truck is.
That is very good news.
I agree.
Where are you?
Uh, I got hungry.
I'll come back.
We'll celebrate.
[call drops]
Pfft.
Fuck. This is awkward.
Mike.
Yeah.
Seems he found it.
- So
- Ah.
Well in case you two need any help
now we know where to find each other.
To Moss.
May he fuck and I mean this
from the bottom of my heart off.
- So how heavy is the gold?
- Very.
And how far down is the truck?
Well, the sinkhole
is no more than 70 feet deep.
I'll rent some scuba gear
and tomorrow night we can see.
Uh-huh.
Right, but where I was going in this,
- I don't dive. I don't lift things.
- Mm-hm.
I'm sorry if that wasn't
on my LinkedIn profile. We need help.
Yeah, but I'm not sure
who I'd want to involve, so
I don't know.
- Family?
- No.
Patsy's checking
on your ambulance driver's chances
to see if he's good for your murder,
so no.
- Who, Dad?
- No.
No?
Sorry. I meant, fuck no.
Right. You said you guys
don't get along so well,
- but I figured for, like, $100 million
- Fuck no. He's a criminal.
- We're criminals.
- We're not criminals.
- We're being criminals.
- We're not doing anything wrong.
Sometimes you do certain things
and it doesn't mean you are that thing.
- Oh, my God. You're hearing this, right?
- It's simple.
If he finds out about the gold,
he'll take it. Okay?
Fine.
Fuck no, it is.
[Mike laughs]
Forty bucks.
Forty bucks.
Rich man.
Oh, God.
[woman] Okay,
but there must be something we can do.
[doctor] I'm afraid
we've done all we can medically.
As far as any end-of-life wishes
like organ donation,
someone from here
will come by to discuss that with you.
I'm so sorry.
[cell phone beeps]
Where are you going?
I wanna know how long we have
to get that truck out of there.
So I changed my mind about asking family.
Your dad?
Nope, my brother-in-law.
He does survey work at the sinkhole.
I think he'll be good for information.
He loves to talk.
[cell phone buzzing]
Who's that?
- Moss.
- No. No. Okay, wait
No, no, don't stop me, I wanna hear.
Moss. Let me call you back.
I may have a line on Delly's killer.
[Moss] Shut up, shut up.
Let me ask you something.
When you discovered her
was there anything on her?
Well, just a sheet.
- But I couldn't see anything
- In her possession. Jesus.
When she left,
she took some cash from my safe
and a little computer thingy.
Whoo! Yes!
You gave her your safe combination?
Fuck you.
It's M-O-S-S, isn't it?
Did she or not?
Just some keys and her phone.
Just go check again.
Personal effects, whatever.
And call me back.
But not until after 2:00.
I'm trying samples from the caterers.
What caterers?
For the memorial I'm having tomorrow
because my girlfriend was murdered,
which makes me sad
because I sent some dickless prick
to find her killer
and he hasn't done shit,
which makes me mad.
[call drops]
What computer thingy?
No idea.
Okay.
I'll be back. Stay here.
[door opens, then closes]
Shit.
Hi, Dave. You didn't get back to me.
You're one coffee up on me.
Can this wait
until after the staff meeting?
Oh, it's herbal tea.
I don't drink caffeine because it's aging.
As I said in my e-mail you ignored,
I am doing that fast in this job.
By the time he was my age, Jesus was dead.
That's still better than Orlando.
So if I'm gonna make it out of here,
you need
to let me do investigative journalism
like I was trained for
at the University of Georgia.
Trained?
It's a real program. Shut up.
Okay. Here's my reply.
"Dear Kaitlin, thank you for your e-mail.
Unfortunately,
you are not an investigative journalist
until you fucking investigate something.
Until then, read what rolls
on the goddamn teleprompter.
LOL."
Send.
Asshole.
[line ringing]
[on voicemail]
Hi, this is Mike. Leave a message.
Hey, Mike, Kaitlin Fox.
Again.
[man & woman moaning, grunting]
[man] Oh, yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
- [bed thumping]
Seriously? You're still following me?
Following you? No. We just happen
to be headed to the same place.
[Mike] Except we're not.
[tire hissing]
- [Sonny] Oh, very fucking funny.
- Be careful getting out.
You used to be smart.
I know because I signed your report cards.
But this thing you're gonna do?
You'll fuck it up.
So, I tell you what I'll do,
I'll run this operation.
I'm gonna cut you in at 10%.
You're gonna cut me in for 10%?
The number's negotiable.
Tip from an ex-gambler,
don't bluff if you don't know
what you're holding, okay?
Well, I know whatever it is was enough
for that girl to fake her own death.
Andy saw her.
At your motel.
Nice obituary.
It's ironic how somebody's obituary
can get them killed.
If you think I'm bluffing
you're an even shittier gambler
than I thought.
- No.
- No?
You don't have anything.
You're a lot, but you're not a murderer.
Thanks. Should save that
for a Father's Day card.
- [line ringing]
- Did you get my e-mail?
There's more on the drive of Moss,
his sister, and
No, Mike's not here.
By tomorrow, I hope.
If everything goes okay,
I'll see you soon.
Yeah, I love you too.
I assume you saw this.
Thought you should know
Moss Yankov's alibi is dead.
- Memorial's tomorrow.
- Mm-hm. Moss' house.
I'm thinking, in lieu of flowers,
we send someone
from the Organized Crime Task Force.
- Good idea.
- Mm-hm.
But not you,
because you're not on the case anymore.
- Thank you, though.
- Yep.
What's the plan with all of this?
Do you know?
Oh, I know. The other night,
you said you had no idea what I do.
- Well, I think I do now.
- I'm a futurist.
- I No. I was wrong.
- Look out there.
Most people see a muddy hole in the ground
filled with busted up concrete
and a lumberjack head.
Surveyors see the future.
I look out there, I see,
in no time at all, a beautiful lake.
When you say, "In no time at all,"
how much time is that?
We'll get going in four days
when they shoot gunite into the hole
to seal it up.
Four days? And what about
this stuff still in the water?
Anything still down there will get
sealed up in two feet of concrete.
You got any bodies that need burying,
now's your chance.
I'll let you know.
Well, it's not like anyone would stop me.
I walked right in here.
There's not much security.
Well, county paid for the fences,
and that church there pays for a guard
to circle the place at night,
but, I mean, you can only do so much.
Tell me about your fancy toilet.
What?
Remember that guy who over-ordered?
Steve Hubley, the foreman.
That's his trailer over there.
- But he's at "lunch" right now.
- Mm.
I don't know why I said lunch like that.
He really is at lunch.
- And what if I wanted one?
- Why? Are you moving here?
That is so exciting!
You play softball? I'm in a league.
It's for Sonny. A surprise.
Don't say anything.
Okay. You know, I got excited.
For For Patsy, you know?
She misses you.
I just can't be here, in Florida, Deacon.
How about dinner,
you and Sonny tomorrow night? For Patsy.
Not tomorrow,
but I can come the night after.
But you knew that, right?
- As a futurist, I know your every move.
- Oh. Let's hope not.
[both chuckling]
[Mike]
Steve? Deacon said I would be stopping by.
- About the toilet?
- Oh.
Hell of an upgrade.
- Um, Mike, was it?
- Yeah. Yeah. Mike.
Yeah. I'm not sure I can get you the same,
but give me a few days.
I don't need a toilet.
What I need is somebody who can work
an hour of unauthorized overtime,
and who can run a crane.
Maybe for a fee,
you can point me in the right direction.
You don't think I can run a crane?
Not what I said.
Can you?
One hour. For say, 500 bucks?
By which I mean 700.
A thousand.
[Jimmy] I had a question
on what I should say,
in regards to when people ask me about
the events surrounding Delly's demise?
You say the truth.
Which is, I gave her a new BMW
which she took on vacation to Florida,
where she became one of the millions
tragically murdered there every year.
Gotcha. Gotcha. Got it. Got it.
Last time you were in my office,
did you see that
That computer thingy?
You always keep it in your safe.
Well, it's not in the fucking safe,
which might be a clue
as to why I'm asking if you've seen it.
What's on it?
Uh, just Just, you know, business stuff.
You know, records of everything.
Oh, okay.
I'll tell you what, I'll look for it.
- All right, good.
- Hey. Hey.
Did my sister get back to you?
She said she'll try to make it,
but she has meetings with the governor.
- I bet she will.
- She could just say "meetings."
She doesn't have to say
"with the governor."
Hey, when she does,
don't mention the computer thingy.
- Okay, you got it.
- Yeah, and move my table!
The table, got it. You got it.
Moving it right now, all right.
[Mike] I meant to tell you
to rest in peace.
Thanks. I was so young.
It is weird, I'm just gone.
On the other hand, all the stupid shit
I did in my life till now? Also gone.
That was somebody else.
- Don't worry. You'll do new stupid shit.
- Aw. Thanks.
[Mike sighs] Son of a bitch.
Unbelievable.
Fuck.
Who is it?
The one in the middle's my dad.
Those two flying monkeys are ex-cops.
My dad saw your obituary,
and said if I cut him in,
he wouldn't rat you out to Moss.
Oh, okay, so you brought him in?
Fuck no. I told him no.
What? Mike, you did what now? Fuck.
Fuck.
I didn't tell you about this place.
So which one of you followed me?
What matters is we're here to join forces.
Delly, my dad, Sonny.
Ray-Ray, Buzz. This is Delly.
Nice to meet you.
[Mike] Okay, so that we're clear
right from the start,
I'm running this show. Okay?
This is not a partnership.
You're running the show?
- Well, I don't mean it like that.
- Oh, so the split?
Five people, five ways.
Nuh-uh, I came down here for all of it.
- Now I get, what, 20 percent? No.
- Yeah.
These guys are on your payroll.
I don't need them.
No, son. I don't think now is the time
to figure out who is or is not expendable.
[Ray-Ray] What are we looking at
in terms of legal exposure?
Minimal. Trespassing,
series of misdemeanors.
The State of Florida's claim
on gold or treasure found in it
hasn't held up in court so far.
So we're not even stealing from them.
This is all assuming
the truck is even down there.
[Mike] It'll be there.
"It'll be there."
It's there.
You've seen it?
I made a reasonable deduction
that it's there.
So you deduced that
with your big detective brain?
I brought scuba gear to find out.
All we need to do is
[water splashes]
[chuckles] Whoo!
So the split.
I don't think it's fair for us to decide.
We should listen
to what the lady suggests.
Here's what the lady suggests.
You two play out your personal shit
on your own time,
and now we make a plan
about how and when we do this.
The split is half to Mike and me
and you three can figure out
how to be happy
with $50 million between you that
you didn't have when you woke up today.
What we're all gonna do is stop with
the sideways-ass, "aw, shucks" threats,
because every one of us
can fuck things up for everyone else.
Okay?
Woo-hoo!
There's a brand-new Porsche down there
with not a scratch on it, and I call dibs.
What about the truck?
Oh, yeah.
It's next to a big yellow truck.
What?
What?
How did Buzz know there was gold?
What do you mean?
Well, he mentioned the State of Florida
pursuing claims of gold.
I never told my dad
there was any gold. So
Fine. What was I supposed to do?
How much clearer could I be
than "fuck no"?
I had already talked to him.
- Gone behind my back, you mean.
- I didn't go behind your back.
Hard as it is to imagine,
my actions were unrelated to you.
He is literally related to me.
You said he steals things.
So I went to someone who can steal things.
From us.
You were out! I had to figure out
how not to get murdered by Moss.
Now, thanks to you, I have to cut
my fucking father in on my gold.
Your gold? You wouldn't even know
there was gold if it wasn't for me.
No. You wouldn't even know
there was gold if it wasn't for me.
- What?
- I told Gil Franco.
In confidence, in a meeting.
Fuck him. I'm glad he's dead.
And then he told Moss
and now you're here. So me, me, mine!
That's it!
- Where are you going?
- I'm not riding with you!
What are you gonna tell your Uber driver?
"Pick me up where the gold is"?
If you told a room of gambling addicts
about the world's biggest score,
that's your fuck-up!
It was not my first choice to get stuck
in your father-son fucking psychodrama!
My hope is you take some of that money
and you get some therapy,
because I trust him more than I trust you.
- He's honest about being a criminal.
- I am not a criminal!
- Oh
- I am doing this just to get out!
Just to get clear.
[yelling] Fuck! I don't care!
Jesus.
Just drive!
[Sonny]
I figure we dive in two teams of two.
Take a couple, two, three nights.
No. One night. Tomorrow.
I'm not staying here
a minute longer than I have to.
There's a crane sitting on site.
I paid Deacon's toilet buddy to run it.
Slap a chain around the truck axle,
yank it out like a marlin,
45 minutes, we're out.
- You involved Deacon?
- No, I didn't say that.
I said I involved a crane operator.
For a guy who likes to work alone,
you talk to a lot of people.
- How much does the crane guy know?
- Doesn't know anything.
Very good. So he's like you.
I'm not the bad guy.
He's the one who was gonna get you killed.
You're acting like
this is some kind of movie heist
and you're gonna use your special skills
to pull off one last score.
You don't have any special skills.
You don't leave things to chance.
When we pull that truck out of the water,
how are we gonna get it somewhere
to remove the goods?
- I can borrow my cousin's tow truck.
- Great. What about security?
Buzz is there
staking out the church guard situation.
You realize what he's doing.
She's a chick with a wet ♪
Okay, we need to know how long the guard's
inside the church in-between circuits
and that's our window.
Well, if it's a long window, we can take
care of the guy until we get the job done.
Well, anyone good at lying and deception?
- Anyone?
- Fuck.
I might join Buzz
and get eyes on the situation myself,
because I prefer it to the company here.
You, let's go for a ride.
[Sonny] She's, uh
She is a real firecracker.
A man could get his fingers blown off.
Hurry up! My teeth are floating!
I said a minute, Buzz. God.
What will you do with your share?
Leave.
You should go to Vegas.
Swear to God,
the most beautiful city in the world,
bar none.
- [Delly] Yeah, you been?
- Me? No.
[Ray-Ray] Buzz, don't make me
come out there, now.
I'm buying new boots.
Alligator.
And an airboat.
To hunt pythons with.
Ow. Son of a bitch!
- Oh!
- Score!
Buzz, goddamn it. [groans]
He's almost back to the church.
The intervals are too short.
We gotta find a way
to keep him inside for 45 minutes.
"We"?
Probably you.
Yeah.
Uh, what the fuck is up with Buzz?
It happened when Sonny was chief.
We were on a night raid,
a no-knock situation.
Buzz was supposed to
cut the power to the house,
but with all the illegal wiring,
he grabbed a bare 220 line.
[shouts]
[thuds]
He kind of got rebooted.
His ability to concentrate is attenuated.
But Sonny kept him on,
so he got his pension.
Didn't get to carry a sidearm afterwards,
which was a good call.
His wife left him.
[Delly] Hmm.
But statistically,
cop marriages don't last anyway.
Mm-hm.
Even with this group,
there's Buzz, Mike
Mike?
And with Iris also being a cop
I guess Mike counts as two.
Seriously?
- What the hell?
- [Delly] Why don't you ask your cop wife?
["Use Ta Be My Girl" playing]
She used to be my girl ♪
She had a charming personality ♪
Is it weird to cut it?
I mean, if she was stabbed?
I think she was shot, so it's fine.
- [Jimmy] Hello.
- [Iris] Hi.
- [Jimmy] How do you know the departed?
- [Iris] High school friends.
[Jimmy] Oh. Locally?
[Iris] No, Chicago.
I didn't even know she was in Philly
until I saw it in the you know.
I'm not even sure why I came.
Maybe it's because she's the first person
I know my age who died.
Oh, yeah.
Been there before.
A few times.
Jimmy, associate of the bereaved.
Leah. Yeah.
So how did it happen?
I mean, the newspaper didn't say.
Oh, her boyfriend Moss gave her a new car,
which she drove down to Florida,
only to become one of the many BMW drivers
tragically murdered there every year.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
And Moss, is he okay?
He blames himself mostly, you know?
Because he gave her the car, one.
He also thinks if he had just sent Mike
a day earlier after her
That kind of thinking,
it just leads to madness.
- Mike?
- The one who found her.
[Delgado] We had people at the memorial.
You were told not to go.
Yes, you had people outside the memorial
because the people inside know
every cop on the task force, except me.
So was this stunt worth risking your job?
Not sure yet.
But now we know
that Moss' girlfriend went to Florida,
she was killed in Florida, and we already
knew Gil Franco had a boat in Florida.
And was Mike at the memorial?
Of course not. Mike is in
Where?
Florida.
- [groans] Iris
- I know.
That's why I need to go there.
I'm sorry, what?
Hear me out. I know his family.
They'll talk to me.
If Mike is involved at all,
I'll know about it.
Then you'll do what?
- Arrest him?
- Yes!
If you had a chance to arrest your ex,
wouldn't you?
- I did.
- You did?
Twice. Not the same guy, two times.
Two guys, once.
And both times, it was hard.
Ma'am, I know what people here think.
"What kind of detective wouldn't know
her own husband is crooked?"
That doesn't make me a bad cop.
It makes him a shitty husband.
And I don't have a husband anymore.
Let this go, Iris.
The worst choice you can make
is a bad choice twice.
Somebody gave me that
printed on a rock once.
It's in the evidence locker now.
Nice you could make it.
I'm so sorry.
You should have come. Everyone was here.
- Exactly why I couldn't come.
- Yeah, optics. I know.
You taught me that word.
Yeah, so you understand
why the governor's office
can't exactly be represented
at a party full of criminals?
Memorial.
And the governor's office
is a party full of criminals.
Which I'm working my ass off
to get us invited to. So
I'm working here too, Dori.
I'm doing the work we do
that Dad put me in charge of.
Your thing is not better than my thing.
My thing is the same as yours
except on an infinitely larger scale,
if you don't fuck it up for us.
And how would I do that?
- Did you know the cops were here today?
- Yes.
I saw them sitting in their shitbox car.
I'm talking about the one
you invited into the house.
From the task force
that's literally investigating you now.
So what? I hope he liked the cake.
That's all he would've gotten.
She. And Dad would have
never let her past the front door.
I really am sorry about Delly.
I liked her.
I should go.
Gotta drive back to Harrisburg so I can
make some calls with the governor.
Sorry for your loss.
[Iris] He was the gambler, the liar.
Did I punish him for that? No.
Now my very first case,
he gets me kicked off?
I'm in the same exact place I was,
still dragging him along everywhere I go.
Why
Do
You
Still
- Care about him?
- Care? No, I don't I'm talking about me.
I don't care about Mike.
- Liar.
- Shut up. Fine.
I care, but the reason
it took so long for me to make detective
is because if he was lying to me
that much all the time and I didn't know,
how could I be some detective?
Cut to Delgado asks, "Is Mike a murderer?"
I say "Of course not."
But how would I know?
Can I even trust my own instincts anymore?
I think I need to know what he's doing.
What do you think?
I think this is
a very one-sided relationship.
Here, let me give you a hand with that.
We're almost done.
How's our girl?
[whimpering]
Hello?
[Delly] Who is it?
- Security. This is
- Go away!
This is private property.
Stay away from me!
Okay, just Just Just Just step back.
- I said, stay away!
- Okay, okay.
I'm right here. I'm not moving.
[sobbing]
I thought it would be a longer drop.
- God.
- Maybe
Maybe you wanna come in
for a minute first.
Right? Yeah.
I think the kitchen has cookies.
- Cookies?
- Yeah.
- Okay?
- Okay.
Okay, just Yeah, just watch your step.
Those shoes look very uncomfortable.
[chuckles]
You can stay here as long as you want.
It's warm in here.
She's got him. They're going inside.
We've got 45 minutes starting now.
Let's get cracking.
[cell phone chimes]
Careful how fast you feed the chain.
Match the rate with Rob's
so that you can support
the weight from up here.
Buzz?
- Buzz.
- [airplane passing overhead]
[Sonny] Buzz!
Yeah. On it.
[guard] Here you go.
Thank you.
Can I ask your name?
Kit.
Short for Katherine?
Yeah.
I like it.
I know I don't know your situation
No offense, Eric, but I don't need you
telling me all I have to live for.
"You're young, have everything.
Your life's just getting started."
Reminding me that I'm staring at four
or five more decades of feeling this way
is some shitty salesmanship.
I mean,
having everything isn't everything.
And you don't, do you?
I don't really have anything.
["Cold Cold Cold" playing]
Doctor, look into my eyes ♪
[Eric] I had everything once.
Everything I wanted.
Married to the most beautiful woman
in the world.
A little boy, Alex, just smart as a whip.
Volunteer coach for the girls soccer team.
I was allowed to be around kids back then.
But when it all went away
No.
No, Eric, when you made it all go away
because of the choices you made.
Well, I learned the difference
in what I want and what I need.
Prison taught me that.
Better make it fast
Before I change my mind ♪
Got a text.
Clock starts now.
They should have the truck
hooked up in a minute.
Then on my signal, you can yank her up.
Let me know.
[Eric]
But what I still had no answer for is
why would I have those dark impulses?
Like Like,
why would God put those there?
You know? You know those ones
Those fleeting thoughts
for like half a second
where you imagine
doing something terrible?
But of course you don't
because you're a good person.
Or a coward.
No. No, you did do the hard part.
Not jumping.
See, we're like this church, Kit.
Cracked and broken,
right at the edge of the abyss,
but we're still here.
Doctor, can you help me?
'Cause I don't feel right ♪
Better make it fast
Before I change my mind ♪
Doctor, can you help me?
'Cause I don't feel right ♪
[Steve] You got an hour.
That should be enough.
Might be time left over
to pull up that Porsche.
Pronounced "Porsche."
I've always wanted one.
As soon as we have the gold,
I might buy one for myself.
Gold?
[Eric] Well, I'll let you rest.
I gotta go do my rounds.
So I'll be back soon, okay?
Oh, wait, um
You said there were cookies.
I did, didn't I?
Doctor, can you help me?
'Cause I don't feel right ♪
Better make it fast
Before I change my mind ♪
Doctor, can you help me?
'Cause I don't feel right ♪
Shit.
Well, it's cold, cold, cold
Cold inside ♪
Darker in the day
Than the dead of night ♪
Cold, cold, cold, cold inside ♪
Shit. Come on.
Doctor, can you help me?
'Cause something don't feel right ♪
Something don't feel right ♪
- Something just ain't right ♪
- [man groaning]
And as the darkness falls ♪
It fills up both my eyes ♪
[man groaning]
With my arms open wide ♪
[grunting]
[gunshot]
Something don't feel right ♪
Something just ain't right ♪