Gigi Does It (2015) s01e03 Episode Script

1 I'm cleaning out your stuff, Harold, because I'm tryin' to declutter.
You were a bit of a hoarder.
Look at this.
Well, what did you need that for? Oh, my goodness, my world's greatest dancer trophy.
You kept it.
I won this because I invented the Dougie.
I was doing the Dougie well before the blacks.
Oh, your personal shaver.
This is what you used to shave my punda.
Oh, I had fu– I had fu– ah-ha.
I had fun with that.
Oh, and this thing, forget– oh, yeah.
Yeah, you had quite the sexual appetite, didn't ya, Harold? Give ya a smack.
Stay quiet! Get down on your knees, you stupid son of a bitch.
Oh, a nudey magazine, of course.
You were famous for your nudey magazines.
Yeah, I bet she got fat.
She looks like she probably put on a little Wait a second.
I know this bitch.
Oh, that's her.
Bring that bitch to me.
Oh.
Hi.
- Hello.
- How are you? I'm good.
Thank you.
There she is.
Come, come, come.
I'm Trechie.
What's wrong? What's wrong? - Why did you call me? - You sit down.
- I have a lot to talk to you about, Trechie.
- Okay.
- Ricky.
- Trechie.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Sit down by me.
Pop a s– pop a squat.
Yeah, wh-why did you call? What's wrong? - Are you sick? What's the matter? - Sit your ass down.
- Yes.
- She's my neighbor.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Divorced three times.
The fourth one died, recently.
- I'm very sorry.
- He was 87 years old.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Died of aggravation.
- She aggravated him right to death.
- Oh, come on.
Yes, you did.
Uh– how could you say that? He was– he was henpecked.
- I'm sorry.
- He was not henpecked.
He was a henpecked husband.
- I used to see him.
He– No, he wasn't.
He was just a little bit– he had some dementia.
How are you feeling, by the way? I'm good.
Now– - I'm happy to see you, but that's crazy.
I happened to be looking through some of Harold's old things.
And, um, I just wanted to show you a little something I found.
What is it? Here we go.
What is this shit? - Oh! - Who is that? Oh, my God! Where did you find that? - Let me see that.
- This was in Harold's stuff.
I look so beautiful.
- Stunning.
- So– thank you.
You're a pornographer.
- That's not pornography.
- Yes, it is.
- That's pornography.
- No, the human body is beautiful.
This is tastefully done.
It's-it's beautiful.
It's soft.
It's, um– Disgusting.
I think you have body issues.
You're always covering yourself.
I have hair.
That's why, because I have hair all over on my shoulders and on my tukus.
- Get waxed.
- I have– People get waxed all the time.
- Women get waxed.
- I would never– that's painful.
Ricky, calm down, please.
Well, one of the reasons, you know, I believe in this synchronistic thing of you finding this picture is so that we can explore this.
Let's explore it.
- Don't you think? - Yeah.
We're adults.
Don't turn this on me, sweetheart, okay? Don't you dare.
I'm not turning it on you.
This is about you being a real whore.
Oh! Oh! That's what this is about.
You're a real whore.
I'm not a whore! You are a pornographer.
Let me finish.
I've had it with the insults.
I'm leaving.
Get out.
Get out! You're talking to me this way in front of your assistant! - I'm very– - Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.
- I'll see ya soon.
Get out.
No, you won't see me soon, 'til I get an apology from you.
I'll see ya soon.
Get out.
No, you won't.
No, you won't.
Yeah, I'll see ya soon.
Get out.
Theresa "Trechie" Fienberg is my best friend, but she's also a real bitch.
Her first cousin by marriage is herself first cousin's with Barbra Streisand.
Who-who-who- who cares? Meanwhile, Trechie won't let ya forget about it.
She's always bragging about it.
You know, my daughter, uh, dated a young man who looked exactly like Paul Giamatti.
He was– she was a– he was a– he was a dead ringer for Paul, uh, Giamatti, and he ended up making a whole career out of being a Paul Giamatti look-a-like.
You don't hear me bragging about that, huh? You know what she is? She's a topper.
Oh, do I hate a to– don't you hate a topper? Well, for once, I'm gonna top the topper.
Ever since I came into my money, i-i-i just can't see things the way she does.
In fact, I don't think she would ever have the guts to do what I'm about to do.
I'm going to enshrine my nude body in a piece of art, not in some pornographic magazine that truck drivers masturbate to.
Most truck drivers are covered head to toe in their own semen.
Head to toe.
My name is Gigi.
Gigi, nice to meet you.
Courtney.
This is my assistant, Ricky.
- Hi– Ricky.
- How are you doin', Ricky? What did you say your name was? - Courtney.
- Courtney? That's like Courtney B.
Vance.
You know the actor, Courtney B.
Vance? Uh, yes, I do.
He's a terrific actor.
- Yes.
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna show you around.
- Well, this is your art show? Yes, it is.
This is a art gallery.
- They are for sale.
- Okay.
So, if you ever, you know, want to– I've come in– I've come in to a lotta money, sweetheart.
And more than just to buy art, I wanna be art.
Hmm.
So, I-I'm-I'm-I'm thinking of getting completely, uh, naked and having people, uh, paint a portrait of me.
Oh, wow, that's very brave.
Ever since I was a little girl, my mother used to say to me, "you know, I wanted a daughter.
" She used to call me "doo-doo.
" Hmm.
That was the nickname for me.
Not even that creative or-or, you know, well thought out.
She called me doo-doo.
Yeah, that's a– that's a little interesting.
- That's a little interesting.
- Her little doo-doo.
But-but, you survived it.
You're here now.
You're-you're healthy.
- You're beautiful.
- Yeah, I'm strong.
- I can show you some of the pieces.
- Okay.
- And tell you a little bit about them.
- Okay.
- And the history of them, as well.
- Oh, terrific.
Um, this particular piece is by Herbie Simmons.
The beauty in the colors.
It's the Wheel of Fortune– Wheel of Fortune.
Uh, it could be perceived as that, as well.
This one really speaks to me as, like, kind of the solitude of life in the universe.
And yet, God is still the one kinda watching over us in the circle and keeping us safe.
- Right.
Yeah.
- He thinks we care.
No one cares about your interpretation, sweetheart.
'Cause look– no, but, that's what art's about.
- Don't insult the man.
Don't insult the man.
- Yeah, well, we got some more greatness over here.
His voice is like the buzzing of tsetse flies to me.
He's a Canadian.
So, we have another piece here by, uh, by Herbie, as well.
I see a rat, and there's a man, and, uh, the man is about to stomp on the rat, but then a snake comes, and the snake eats the rat before the man can stomp on it, but the snake coughs up the rat, and the rat says, "thank you," to the snake, and the snake and the rat go out for dinner.
That is a very s– uh, in-interesting, - great story.
- That's what I see.
I see crows of death.
Oh, f--- off.
You're bringing everyone down.
You know, this man worked very hard on this art.
No, no, I'm interested to see– to hear both of you guys' perspective, though.
He-he's not the painter.
He– he-he painted this.
You painted this? No, no, he didn't.
He's the curator.
You're not Herbie? No, I'm not Herbie.
- What's your name, again? - Courtney.
Courtney like Courtney B.
Vance.
Absolutely.
He was a terrific actor.
That was a great interpretation.
I've never heard it quite that way.
That's the beauty of art, though.
You know, that's your perspective.
Yeah.
So, and-and that's what makes it, um, you know, cool.
Touch me, aga– touch me, again.
See what happens.
- I'm sorry.
- No, you can touch me.
And, uh, I think ultimately– but, just be careful 'cause I'll come right after ya.
All right, hands off.
Uh, so, but, I know you mentioned, you know, that you wanna do art or participate in it, right? Yeah, I really do.
We actually have a class in session, right now.
- Oh! - So, since you are interested in doin' somethin' like that, I think we should be able to pull off.
- Let's go look.
- Should– we have a class going.
So, I'll-I'll be very quiet.
So, we gotta be very, very kinda quiet.
- So, just peek your head in.
- Okay, okay.
Okay.
God, okay.
La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la Very good.
Very good.
We're all here.
Hello, everyone.
I'm late.
Harold was the only one who appreciated my body.
He loved all my imperfections.
He said they would make him feel better about himself.
I-I-i don't know why anyone would wanna draw my body.
A velveteen penis, sure.
Who wouldn't wanna stare at that for an afternoon? I'm totally breathless at the sight of him.
He's so s-s- s-statuesque.
Can I sit here, young lady? Uh, this is my seat.
Age before beauty.
I have very bad eyesight.
I can barely see my finger in front of my face.
Even this close, I can't see it.
It's okay.
You can have it.
You can have this.
Thank you so much, young lady.
I'll take ya out for coffee later.
No? Here, take my purse for me.
Ready? Got it? I'm ready.
I'm ready for anything.
Hello, young man.
How are you? Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
It's a genuine pleasure.
Where should I start? Oh, I think I know where I should start.
Okay.
You're a wonderful looking young man.
I hope you go far in this business, whatever business this is.
You're not supposed to interact.
You're supposed to just let him be, and you're supposed to capture his essence.
The police over here telling me what to do.
You know, I'm thinking of possibly doing what you're doing.
There's room for you up here, if you wanna take a stab at it.
I'd like to take a stab at it.
I'd like you take a stab at it.
Tell me– how do you feel, right now? Exposed? Uh, uh, free? Uh, uh, uh, lengthy? I-I mean, uh, you know, uh, at length, explain at length how you feel.
Comfortable.
You're not afraid to be in front of all these strangers? I mean, I wouldn't be afraid either.
You have a terrific, terrific, unbelievable, one of a kind body.
I wonder if, next time, you could trim a little.
It's not like I can't see what's there, but I would love to get a much closer look, you know, so that I can capture the movement.
Do me a favor.
Just give me a swing.
Just a quick swing– go for it.
Oh, good, good, good.
That was– That was one hell of a swing.
I'm drawing your titties now.
Come close to me.
I have– come closer.
Come, come, come, come, come closer.
Go up there and blow on his penis for me.
No.
Yeah, because it– maybe it'll change it.
It'll shiver a little bit.
No, you're not supposed to interact with the model.
Yeah, go up there and flick it with your fingers.
I-I'm not gonna flick his penis.
Flick him on his penis for me.
I'm not gonna flick it.
Don't mind him.
He's Canadian.
That man is definitely not Jewish, and if he is, he should ask the mohel for his money back.
Hmm.
I have never seen a penis like that before.
It looked like it was cold, so maybe it put on a dark purple turtleneck.
It looked hungry, like someone should feed it some ants.
I've only ever seen two penises in my whole life– Harold's and my gynecologist's.
I am muy nervioso, as the Cubans say.
And really, am I gonna do this? Show my body to the world? A thousand stars are shining bright Hey, Gigi.
Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ahh! Ricky, get back in here.
No, it's okay.
No, come– get in here.
Um, no, it's okay.
I'll let you finish.
No, come back inside.
Uh, okay, I'm coming in.
Coming in.
Ricky? I'm so sorry about that.
I should've knocked.
Um– did you– did you see me? I saw things that, um, looked medically, um, normal.
Uh, a-a glimpse of it.
I'm so nervous about tomorrow.
I don't think I can go through with it.
Oh, you can go through with it.
You, uh, there's nothing to worry about.
Everyone's– it's gonna be great for you.
Ricky? Do you think I'm attractive? Uh– Look at it.
Yep, yep, uh, no.
I-I saw– I saw it, but, um, if you want, I'll look at it again.
Um, and it's, uh, everything seems to be where it should– should-should be.
You really mean it? Every boob is different, and yours is, uh, similar to others I've seen and different to others I've seen.
It's-it's like a-a beautiful eclipse 'cause I don't– I don't wanna stare at it.
You know, if they carbon dated that areola, it'd be like, oh, wow, it's 20 something years old, very young looking.
Um– Oh, you made me feel so much better about myself.
Thank you.
I'm ready.
I'm gonna go through with it.
I don't care what people say.
They're gonna like me.
They're gonna love me.
Come give me a hug.
Now, don't-don't-don't move.
Now, close your mouth.
I'm on your– I'm doing your mouth now.
Don't move, please.
I worked very hard on this.
What did I just say? I said don't move, right? Just a blank expression on your face.
I'm almost done.
We've been doing this 20 minutes.
I know.
I know.
I know, sweetheart.
I'm almost done, my dear.
And voila.
My masterpiece is complete.
Great– let's see it.
Okay Ta-da! What is it? It's transgender you.
No? I think she's cute.
She's free to be herself.
Is that how you see me? Absolutely.
Does that offend you? I look happy.
I wanna go home, now.
Gigi, you've come this far.
- This is your moment.
- Yeah, but, I-I-I– Oh, you don't understand, do you? I've had these issues since I was a girl.
What issues? Issues with my tits-es.
- They're their own work of art.
- They're mine.
And, in this way, they'll live on forever, right? Yeah.
I believe in you, and you got this.
Ready? Hello.
Oh, hello.
How are you? Yeah.
Okay.
Very good.
All right, you got it? Yeah, I got it.
Okay.
All right.
This is what it is.
Nothing I can do about it.
I should tell you I have a series of medical conditions that I'd like you to take into consideration before you start drawing.
And what are they? I have a vaginal cleft palate.
I had an ulcerative rectum when I was only 22.
I have geriatric bacne.
It's called Geri-bacne.
Half my vagina is black and white.
It's like a marble cake, my vagina.
You know, my mother was very cruel, and she made me feel very ugly.
So, I have a lot of body image issues from even before I was a conscious human being.
Well, you're beautiful.
You're beautiful.
Thank you, sweetheart.
Thank you.
It only matters how you see yourself anyway.
Yeah.
Yeah, from now on, I think I'm gonna see myself in a better light, ya know.
You all look like such very nice people, and I appreciate you doing this for me.
I gotta tell you, this– this isn't so bad.
I could do this all day.
You know what I mean? You know what I mean.
I'm proud of what I've got, you know.
Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey.
I like Kourtney Kardashian, the one that no one likes.
That's my favorite one.
That's not tomato sauce I smell.
That's not a Ragu.
That's the smell of your vagina, Mom.
My doctor says I have the most unique areolas he's ever seen.
I gotta tell ya– I was scared, but now I'm-I'm– I feel great.
I feel free.
I feel exactly what I've been longing to feel my whole life.
Ricky, come hither.
I'm gonna show you the difference between common porno and artistic vision.
Hi, Trechie.
- Hi.
Hi.
- Hi.
Reveal.
Huh? Ha-ha! Who's that? Who could it be? Oh! Oh, Gigi.
I'm so proud of you.
This is stunning.
I am so blown away by this beautiful representation of your exquisite self.
This is a beautiful picture of a beautiful woman.
- Oh, you are so jealous.
- At the time of life that she's in.
- You are so jealous.
- And you're owning your body.
It's everything I talked to you about.
You do? - Everything I-I said to you, you've done it.
Oh, you are so patronizing.
I'm not patronizing.
You are so– I'm not gonna listen to you because I'm not gonna let you ruin this.
This is so beautiful.
What a confident, extraordinary woman I see.
You know what? I could stay here and argue with you about how beautiful you are and how brave this is, but I can't 'cause I have a date.
Like, a-a first date? Like, a casual thing, right? Just– Not so casual, actually.
I mean, it could evolve into something.
I don't know.
I don't know, but– Yeah, or it could wither.
- You know, wither.
- Well, it could, but I'm kind of excited about it.
Go.
Go to your date.
You're gonna see that you're gonna start going on dates, too.
Because, you know, this kind of owning your beauty, owning your body, it makes you feel– - Oh, god, get outta here! - Okay! - I'm so excited.
- Enjoy your date.
I love you.
Bye! Whore.
Posing nude in front of all those people, I've never felt so beautiful in my entire life.
You know, we-we're born into this world nude, and then we spend the rest of our lives covering ourselves up, both literally and figuratively.
And let me tell you something– it's a shame.
It's a shanda.
It really is.
My friend, birdie, she used to walk around completely nude, not a care in the world, and then we found out that it was Alzheimer's disease.
But, maybe she was on to something.
You know, Harold used to say, "You come into the world nude, "and ya die in a fancy, expensive suit, "and that, in a nutshell, is how they screw you.
" And he was right.
He was always right.
He worshipped my body, especially my ass.
He was an ass man.
Yeah.
He-he used to put his face in the middle of it.
Bury it in there with his nose.
It's not what nature intended.
Let's just put it that way.
How do you feel? It's very uncomfortable.
You don't feel liberated? No, not at all.
Okay, that's– that's normal.
Before you know it, you should experience a profound sense of freedom.
Mmm.
Delicious.
I feel like this is all for naught.
No one's painting me.
No one's drawing me.
No one's sculpting me.