Hap and Leonard (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
The Dive
1 [quiet guitar music.]
I heard Pretty love songs Coming from an open window Today I stopped To listen to the love songs And I had to cry Why didn't I just walk away I knew All the love songs Once upon a time we sang them - Hey.
- Morning.
Hap, what is it? Oh Trudy.
[somber music.]
You think they was trying to find it on their own? I been wondering the same thing.
[dramatic percussive music.]
[murmurs.]
926.
This what I hope it is? Hap? There's probably a million license plates in that river.
But I got a feeling about this one A real good feeling.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Leonard! You awake? [knocking at the door.]
Hello! The announcement I'm not surprised George Bush, the GOP's nomination, on the Republican side, for President of the United States.
Leonard! Len, good morning.
Is Julia Childs gonna come from behind the fridge? This is nothing.
I just thought you, uh, you might be hungry.
Why don't you sit down, and I'll fix you up a plate? What the hell happened to my mats? Oh, they needed to be washed.
How come you don't use the ones that I bought you? They look nice, don't they? Look like rainbow sherbet threw up on 'em.
I put I put cayenne in the batter already, because I know'cause I know you like spice.
Yeah, I like spice.
Can't taste it unless my ass on fire.
[TV continues in background.]
[country music.]
Come back, little darlin' Why wasn't the spirit of the '60s sustainable, Hap? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the marijuana might've had something to do with that.
I told you he wouldn't take this seriously.
You're just slinging a lot of jazzy words around, and I haven't even had a coffee yet.
You know much about how corporations work? Can't say that I do.
Howard does.
Howard knows all about it.
Well, let's say I had a lot of time to read up on things inside, focusing on their tactics for success infrastructure, growth, diversification strategies that were never truly applied to Canvassing.
- Activism.
- Activism.
Our movements fell apart because they weren't held together by anything other than idealism.
We'll take the money from the heist as our seed investment.
That starts the corporation, so to speak.
We are essentially its board members.
Our goals will be as they've always been: fighting for equality, fighting against the man, - fighting against corruption.
- [pen scraping on paper.]
Only now, we'll have the means to fight back.
Yeah, I'm seeing an octopus with a-a little triangle hat, maybe.
Gee, in case you hadn't noticed, Hap, your buddy's not here right now.
And our appetite for sarcasm isn't quite as bottomless.
Oh.
- Hap.
- Hmm? You know what makes the world go round: money and connections.
Howard's put in time all across the U.
S.
voter outreach, community organizing, lectures.
Those towns, those people he's worked with for years, they'll be our partners.
In jazzy business terms, that's infrastructure.
- Oh.
- Ten years ago, Greenpeace was just a couple of activists kicking around in an old fishing boat with nothing but a stack full of flyers.
Look at 'em now.
Who says we can't do that? Hey, Trudy, you still want me to take your shift later? Because Earl wants to go drinking with his buddies, and I got the baby again.
That's okay.
I can do that.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
Okay, say say I was interested.
How how would I fit in to all all of that? Read my lips.
No new taxes.
[cheers and applause.]
I will keep America moving forward.
I really hope this man does a better job than Reagan did.
Bad actor, even worse of a president.
The hell you talking about? Reagan was a damn good actor.
How 'bout the movie he made with the monkey? That was ahead of its time.
No, that was out of touch, just like Reagan.
And you, you're just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Must run in the family.
You don't know my family.
I changed your uncle's bedpan while you and your boyfriend were off building forts and playing cowboy.
You want to know what Chester was eating for lunch and dinner, Leonard? Cat food.
That's how he was living.
I didn't know.
Of course you didn't, because he pushed you away.
He pushes everybody away, like his nephew.
See, that must run in the family too.
[phone ringing.]
A thousand points of light.
[phone ringing.]
Mm.
[phone ringing.]
- Yeah? - Hey.
You ready to dive? - You found the car? - Nope.
No, I'm just nostalgic to see your black ass in swim trunks again.
- Leonard - [door slams.]
you there? I don't know, Hap.
I gotta mull over this hippie scavenger hunt of yours.
Why are you whispering? Raoul with you? Why, you jealous? [chuckles.]
I know, a hard dick knows no conscience.
Tell me about it.
You're gonna need to bring your guns with you.
Thought you didn't like my guns.
I don't like gators trying to eat my face either.
What kind of time can you get here? Told you I had to mull it over.
Now, let me mull.
Well, don't mull too long.
A mull takes as long as a mull takes.
Perfect.
See you at 2:00, then.
[coins clatter.]
[blues rock music.]
[mellow country music.]
This is a good look on you.
What, broke, tired, and sweatin'? Yeah, sexy.
You just like to see a man on his knees.
It was good last night.
It's always good.
It's us.
Yeah, but it was felt different, I guess.
It was that gator.
[both laugh.]
Yeah.
Yeah, I paid him 20 bucks to throw you in the water and scare you half to death.
Maybe it just felt like it used to.
[car horn honks.]
Just can't get enough of him.
Aw, he grows on ya.
Like a fungus.
[chuckles.]
Okay, I'm out of here.
Hey, thanks.
Trudy.
That uniform, you working for some chain, don't feel like you.
The faster you find that money, the faster I can burn this thing.
Hmm.
Good luck out there.
Make me proud maybe we'll go gator hunting again.
[laughs.]
- And Hap.
- Hmm? Please think on what we were talking about.
The sex? Changing the world.
You ready? Don't I look ready? More like a man's got the blood drained into his dick.
How's your Uncle Chester? He all right.
Stopped calling me "faggot.
" Oh.
Then again, he can't talk.
[slow country music.]
Police still have no clues in the brutal murder of a local Marvel Creek police officer whose - [changes radio station.]
-[pop music plays.]
[changes radio station.]
[Scott McKenzie's "San Francisco" plays on radio.]
People in motion People in motion - For those who come - For those - To San Francisco - To San Francisco Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair [mumbling lyrics.]
There are options.
You can always move to Canada.
You can be a conscientious objector.
What you don't want to do is refuse to go.
That's where things get difficult.
What are we talking about? Prison.
The right path isn't always the easiest one.
[softly.]
We need to think about this.
[turns radio off.]
- What? - Ain't a time machine, Hap.
What's not? That piece-of-shit hippie van back there.
You trying to tell me something? I'm trying to tell you, you can't go back.
- Can I have the radio on again? - Just try.
Try.
Playing that shit in my truck gonna make me crash on purpose.
[mellow blues music.]
- Alpha 527.
- Alpha 527 [indistinct.]
.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Please be alert for any suspicious behavior.
Search all vehicles.
Any bright ideas? You got a quarter? Yeah, I saw a couple of real suspicious-looking characters.
- Where'd you see them? - Yeah, uh, in the parking lot of the old lumber yard.
How long ago was this? About ten minutes ago, ma'am.
All right, we'll send someone.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, nope, you're welcome.
- Have a good day, y'all.
- Bye-bye.
Say, uh, what's the name of that movie with Ronald Reagan and the monkey? - "Bedtime for Bonzo.
" - Ah.
[car engines turn.]
Bonzo was good.
Movie was terrible.
Never saw it.
[sirens wailing.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Hap Collins.
Outlaw.
I do what I can.
[pop music playing.]
If there's a way to make me change your mind Tell me now before you walk out the door If you could start it all over Try it again, maybe I could get you to see [groans.]
[humming pop song.]
Come on, Kay, screw your head on straight.
Are my little meow meows hungry? [kissy noises.]
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitties! And I'll warn you again, I have too much furniture in my superstore, and if I can't give it away, I'm just gon' have to burn it up.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Kitties? Meow, meow, meow.
Kitty kitty.
Come on down to Beau's Discount Furniture.
[grunting.]
[thumping.]
[dialing tones.]
Ahh! - Oh! - [frightened whimpering.]
What are you doing in my Oh! [whimpering.]
[grunts.]
[frightened whimpering.]
Oh, God! Who who are you? What are you doing to me? Oh.
Oh, no, no! Whatcha got out there, baby? [frightened whimpering.]
[screaming.]
[whimpering.]
Oh, you find yourself something to play with? Help me! Help! Oh, God! [screaming and crying.]
Yeah, that's right.
Show it to me, baby.
There's really no use trying to scamper.
Angel has her way, if she wants it.
[woman screaming and crying.]
No! Oh, God! [screams.]
[phone hits woman.]
[phone hits woman.]
[phone hits woman.]
[disconnect beeping.]
You go to sleep, sweet thing.
I'm so sorry about the mess, but we needed a place to pass some time, so Plus my girlfriend just loves kitties.
[laughs.]
Oh, come on.
[beeping continues.]
Please hang up and try your call again.
[laid-back rock music.]
That is a big-ass river.
Oh, what is that smell? Gator bait.
Here.
Shortening.
You want any salt and pepper with that, some garlic maybe? Shit, I thought the chickens were the bait.
It's called insulation, dumbass.
The river's cold, and down deep, it's colder.
Cold screws with your head.
Maybe I should do the diving and you should do the shooting.
Don't go getting all "save the gators" on me.
Not now, please.
What if I was to just shoot near 'em.
You shoot that gator in the head.
Anything else, you just making 'em mad.
So what was you and Miss "Stand By Your Man" talking about back there? Same thing you and Raoul talk about, minus the extra dick.
Bullshit.
Hey, Howard told me what the plan was this morning.
- And? - It's complicated.
[ominous music.]
Ah Well? Nothing.
I can't see a damn thing.
And cold, huh? Nuts must look like raisins.
Is that before or after you went in? Very funny.
[chuckles.]
So what's this plan of Howard's, anyway? They just don't want to do it like they did in the '60s, that's all.
What, no jam bands? Howard's been studying corporations you know, how they work infrastructure, um, diversification, shit like that.
Yeah, I know how it work.
They hire white folks and bend black folks over the barrel without no grease.
Always been that way.
Hmm.
I know you not believing this shit they talking.
Yeah, I'll do the next dive.
You know, the world don't run on fairy dust, Hap.
Nope.
Runs on money.
So let's see if we can find some, huh? Remember, don't stay down too long.
Hap, I'm serious.
[suspenseful music.]
[birds chirping.]
[birds chirping.]
[dramatic music.]
[splash.]
[alligator growls.]
[suspenseful music.]
Hap! Hap! [tense music.]
How does it make an impact if no one knows about it? We'll make sure everyone knows about it.
It'll be a huge statement that you're willing to do something like this, something so fearless.
But but we're talking about prison, Trudy.
Two years is is a long time.
But I'll be here when you get out.
- Hey, shithead.
- Shithead! Shithead.
Come on, turn over.
Come on.
[coughing.]
Come on, say something.
[sputtering.]
Come on, say something, say something.
[sputtering.]
Hey, buddy.
I think I found something.
You asshole.
[both laugh.]
We're initiating a stop-and-question policy, and a cash reward's being offered to anyone who provides information that leads to arrest.
Now, no further comments at this time.
Hey.
Any luck? Not with the money, no, but I think I know what I'm gonna be wearing to Halloween this year.
Softboy.
Holy Whoo! You found the car! - [laughs.]
- I found it, all right.
Yeah, nearly took it for a damn spin.
It's gonna be real hard to get at, though.
It's deep.
Gon' need some gear.
All right, then.
All right, we're in business.
We might have a little bit of a problem here.
There's been another murder a woman.
This whole town's gonna be swarming with police by morning, so Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get it.
[The Fly Bi Nights' "Found Love" plays.]
Dancing through my work of today Found love I knew you'd stay When I saw you, first I thought That no one other could see my heart [air hissing.]
Found love what you say Found love true today All clear by me.
Same here.
We're all clear.
Over.
- Jesus! - Sorry.
Maybe you should just hand me this gun.
I'll be more careful.
Paco, we're all alone.
River's all clear, at least for now.
We are good to go.
Got it.
Over and out.
[whistles.]
Let's do this.
[checks air pressure.]
[tense music.]
[breathing through respirators.]
[yelling indistinctly.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
- Oh, no! - Get down.
Shh.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
[eerie music.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
[suspenseful music.]
[psychedelic '60s pop.]
Everything's gonna be all right [laughing and indistinct conversations.]
God damn! [all laughing.]
That felt like something out of a movie.
My adrenaline's going crazy.
[laughter.]
See what happens when you work as a team? I told you Hap would find it.
Hey, shh.
Hey.
Who left the gate open? Uh-oh.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Goddamned Bible thumper.
He must've heard about the reward money.
Shit, no telling how many cops or roadblocks are out there.
We need to get out of this county, find someplace to lay low for a while.
Hey, uh, we could always go to Leonard's place.
What? My place too small.
Back it up, Hap.
Get us outta here.
[suspenseful music.]
[low-key blues rock.]
Up here.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Watch my damn table.
[laughter.]
- Okay.
- [laughter.]
We can get you a new table, man.
Leonard, where are your glasses? In the cupboard right over there.
- All right.
- Here, whiskey.
We got them skinny numbers? Keep it on the plastic.
Fire 'em up.
Hap, where you going? Aw, yeah.
All right.
[indistinct chatter.]
Mm, mm, mm.
- Hey, man.
- [inhaling smoke.]
Want a hit? No, no thanks.
That shit gives you tits.
You seen that dude Jerry Garcia? Man got D cups.
- Oh.
- Here you go.
Get that in ya.
Tonight, this is a victory for all of us.
Cheers.
Yeah, thanks.
Your whiskey, man.
Don't I know it.
Crack a window! Smell like Woodstock in here.
- Hey.
- Nah, no, brother.
It give makes me paranoid.
Ah, paranoia just means having all the facts, man.
Huh? Burroughs.
Oh, right.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
Give that to him.
Ahh.
Mm.
Hell, no.
Hell, no.
Everything in my house is off-limits to you.
That's the rule.
Now go on.
[guys clattering in background.]
[pounding.]
[Ernest Tubb's "It's America (Love It or Leave It)".]
It's America, love it or leave it Ugh! [both laughing.]
Well, I'm getting mighty tired Of seeing hippies running wild And burning down the schools Stepping on the flag Are you serious, Leonard? You actually own this? Play it all the time.
Great harmonies.
Some folks think it's okay [laughs.]
But I wasn't raised that way And I won't be satisfied till I've had my say all: It's America You got no right to deceive it [mumbles.]
[both laughing.]
You'd better believe it Good men gave their lives So we could live to see it all: It's America, love it or leave it [pounding.]
Let me try.
Let me try.
Love it or leave it Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
- You did it, Hap.
[song ends.]
No, we did it.
[The Moving Sidewalks' "No Good To Cry" playing.]
You and me, just like the old times.
New times, honey.
New times.
Hear that new girl came to town Trudy.
[laughs.]
Now your baby's nowhere Nowhere around Love's a game, you're in it And you were so proud of it Someone you can depend on Someone you can rely on No matter what you say He won't come back Baby, baby, baby [vocalizing.]
Be brave, sugar.
Can you hold on one second, sir? What? I refuse to serve, based on principle.
What did you say? I refuse to serve, based on principle.
Line's over there.
['60s soul playing.]
My windowpane So what's next for Hap Collins? That's a big question.
You've had your whole life to think about it.
I met a cop today I'm looking for an answer, sugar I tried to smile Preferably a good one.
I watched that bride Listen, I-I'm all for changing the world and all, and I think what you guys have been talking about is just But I don't think I want to run away from everything just yet and join the circus, however exciting that circus is.
So you still think that this is all just a big joke? No.
No, no, no, no, no, that's that's not what I mean.
I'm sorry.
You know me, baby, I I'm not always good with words.
You have your moments.
I just want to be with you.
Not the whole package.
Just you.
You understand? [laughs.]
Shh.
[whispers.]
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
What? - No, no.
- It's mulch.
No.
[groans.]
Don't think about it.
Think about what? Whatever it is you're thinking about.
This time tomorrow, we are gonna have a bucket-load of cash, foot massages on a beach somewhere, little cucumber rings on our eyes.
[gun cocks.]
Boys, it looks like the shoe's on the other foot.
Howard I don't even know what that means in this context.
It means we're taking all the money, and if you try to stop us, we'll kill you.
Goddamn it, Hap.
I heard Pretty love songs Coming from an open window Today I stopped To listen to the love songs And I had to cry Why didn't I just walk away I knew All the love songs Once upon a time we sang them - Hey.
- Morning.
Hap, what is it? Oh Trudy.
[somber music.]
You think they was trying to find it on their own? I been wondering the same thing.
[dramatic percussive music.]
[murmurs.]
926.
This what I hope it is? Hap? There's probably a million license plates in that river.
But I got a feeling about this one A real good feeling.
[laughs.]
Yeah.
Leonard! You awake? [knocking at the door.]
Hello! The announcement I'm not surprised George Bush, the GOP's nomination, on the Republican side, for President of the United States.
Leonard! Len, good morning.
Is Julia Childs gonna come from behind the fridge? This is nothing.
I just thought you, uh, you might be hungry.
Why don't you sit down, and I'll fix you up a plate? What the hell happened to my mats? Oh, they needed to be washed.
How come you don't use the ones that I bought you? They look nice, don't they? Look like rainbow sherbet threw up on 'em.
I put I put cayenne in the batter already, because I know'cause I know you like spice.
Yeah, I like spice.
Can't taste it unless my ass on fire.
[TV continues in background.]
[country music.]
Come back, little darlin' Why wasn't the spirit of the '60s sustainable, Hap? I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure the marijuana might've had something to do with that.
I told you he wouldn't take this seriously.
You're just slinging a lot of jazzy words around, and I haven't even had a coffee yet.
You know much about how corporations work? Can't say that I do.
Howard does.
Howard knows all about it.
Well, let's say I had a lot of time to read up on things inside, focusing on their tactics for success infrastructure, growth, diversification strategies that were never truly applied to Canvassing.
- Activism.
- Activism.
Our movements fell apart because they weren't held together by anything other than idealism.
We'll take the money from the heist as our seed investment.
That starts the corporation, so to speak.
We are essentially its board members.
Our goals will be as they've always been: fighting for equality, fighting against the man, - fighting against corruption.
- [pen scraping on paper.]
Only now, we'll have the means to fight back.
Yeah, I'm seeing an octopus with a-a little triangle hat, maybe.
Gee, in case you hadn't noticed, Hap, your buddy's not here right now.
And our appetite for sarcasm isn't quite as bottomless.
Oh.
- Hap.
- Hmm? You know what makes the world go round: money and connections.
Howard's put in time all across the U.
S.
voter outreach, community organizing, lectures.
Those towns, those people he's worked with for years, they'll be our partners.
In jazzy business terms, that's infrastructure.
- Oh.
- Ten years ago, Greenpeace was just a couple of activists kicking around in an old fishing boat with nothing but a stack full of flyers.
Look at 'em now.
Who says we can't do that? Hey, Trudy, you still want me to take your shift later? Because Earl wants to go drinking with his buddies, and I got the baby again.
That's okay.
I can do that.
Thanks.
I appreciate it.
Okay, say say I was interested.
How how would I fit in to all all of that? Read my lips.
No new taxes.
[cheers and applause.]
I will keep America moving forward.
I really hope this man does a better job than Reagan did.
Bad actor, even worse of a president.
The hell you talking about? Reagan was a damn good actor.
How 'bout the movie he made with the monkey? That was ahead of its time.
No, that was out of touch, just like Reagan.
And you, you're just arguing for the sake of arguing.
Must run in the family.
You don't know my family.
I changed your uncle's bedpan while you and your boyfriend were off building forts and playing cowboy.
You want to know what Chester was eating for lunch and dinner, Leonard? Cat food.
That's how he was living.
I didn't know.
Of course you didn't, because he pushed you away.
He pushes everybody away, like his nephew.
See, that must run in the family too.
[phone ringing.]
A thousand points of light.
[phone ringing.]
Mm.
[phone ringing.]
- Yeah? - Hey.
You ready to dive? - You found the car? - Nope.
No, I'm just nostalgic to see your black ass in swim trunks again.
- Leonard - [door slams.]
you there? I don't know, Hap.
I gotta mull over this hippie scavenger hunt of yours.
Why are you whispering? Raoul with you? Why, you jealous? [chuckles.]
I know, a hard dick knows no conscience.
Tell me about it.
You're gonna need to bring your guns with you.
Thought you didn't like my guns.
I don't like gators trying to eat my face either.
What kind of time can you get here? Told you I had to mull it over.
Now, let me mull.
Well, don't mull too long.
A mull takes as long as a mull takes.
Perfect.
See you at 2:00, then.
[coins clatter.]
[blues rock music.]
[mellow country music.]
This is a good look on you.
What, broke, tired, and sweatin'? Yeah, sexy.
You just like to see a man on his knees.
It was good last night.
It's always good.
It's us.
Yeah, but it was felt different, I guess.
It was that gator.
[both laugh.]
Yeah.
Yeah, I paid him 20 bucks to throw you in the water and scare you half to death.
Maybe it just felt like it used to.
[car horn honks.]
Just can't get enough of him.
Aw, he grows on ya.
Like a fungus.
[chuckles.]
Okay, I'm out of here.
Hey, thanks.
Trudy.
That uniform, you working for some chain, don't feel like you.
The faster you find that money, the faster I can burn this thing.
Hmm.
Good luck out there.
Make me proud maybe we'll go gator hunting again.
[laughs.]
- And Hap.
- Hmm? Please think on what we were talking about.
The sex? Changing the world.
You ready? Don't I look ready? More like a man's got the blood drained into his dick.
How's your Uncle Chester? He all right.
Stopped calling me "faggot.
" Oh.
Then again, he can't talk.
[slow country music.]
Police still have no clues in the brutal murder of a local Marvel Creek police officer whose - [changes radio station.]
-[pop music plays.]
[changes radio station.]
[Scott McKenzie's "San Francisco" plays on radio.]
People in motion People in motion - For those who come - For those - To San Francisco - To San Francisco Be sure to wear some flowers in your hair [mumbling lyrics.]
There are options.
You can always move to Canada.
You can be a conscientious objector.
What you don't want to do is refuse to go.
That's where things get difficult.
What are we talking about? Prison.
The right path isn't always the easiest one.
[softly.]
We need to think about this.
[turns radio off.]
- What? - Ain't a time machine, Hap.
What's not? That piece-of-shit hippie van back there.
You trying to tell me something? I'm trying to tell you, you can't go back.
- Can I have the radio on again? - Just try.
Try.
Playing that shit in my truck gonna make me crash on purpose.
[mellow blues music.]
- Alpha 527.
- Alpha 527 [indistinct.]
.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Please be alert for any suspicious behavior.
Search all vehicles.
Any bright ideas? You got a quarter? Yeah, I saw a couple of real suspicious-looking characters.
- Where'd you see them? - Yeah, uh, in the parking lot of the old lumber yard.
How long ago was this? About ten minutes ago, ma'am.
All right, we'll send someone.
- Thank you.
- Yeah, nope, you're welcome.
- Have a good day, y'all.
- Bye-bye.
Say, uh, what's the name of that movie with Ronald Reagan and the monkey? - "Bedtime for Bonzo.
" - Ah.
[car engines turn.]
Bonzo was good.
Movie was terrible.
Never saw it.
[sirens wailing.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Hap Collins.
Outlaw.
I do what I can.
[pop music playing.]
If there's a way to make me change your mind Tell me now before you walk out the door If you could start it all over Try it again, maybe I could get you to see [groans.]
[humming pop song.]
Come on, Kay, screw your head on straight.
Are my little meow meows hungry? [kissy noises.]
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitties! And I'll warn you again, I have too much furniture in my superstore, and if I can't give it away, I'm just gon' have to burn it up.
Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.
Kitties? Meow, meow, meow.
Kitty kitty.
Come on down to Beau's Discount Furniture.
[grunting.]
[thumping.]
[dialing tones.]
Ahh! - Oh! - [frightened whimpering.]
What are you doing in my Oh! [whimpering.]
[grunts.]
[frightened whimpering.]
Oh, God! Who who are you? What are you doing to me? Oh.
Oh, no, no! Whatcha got out there, baby? [frightened whimpering.]
[screaming.]
[whimpering.]
Oh, you find yourself something to play with? Help me! Help! Oh, God! [screaming and crying.]
Yeah, that's right.
Show it to me, baby.
There's really no use trying to scamper.
Angel has her way, if she wants it.
[woman screaming and crying.]
No! Oh, God! [screams.]
[phone hits woman.]
[phone hits woman.]
[phone hits woman.]
[disconnect beeping.]
You go to sleep, sweet thing.
I'm so sorry about the mess, but we needed a place to pass some time, so Plus my girlfriend just loves kitties.
[laughs.]
Oh, come on.
[beeping continues.]
Please hang up and try your call again.
[laid-back rock music.]
That is a big-ass river.
Oh, what is that smell? Gator bait.
Here.
Shortening.
You want any salt and pepper with that, some garlic maybe? Shit, I thought the chickens were the bait.
It's called insulation, dumbass.
The river's cold, and down deep, it's colder.
Cold screws with your head.
Maybe I should do the diving and you should do the shooting.
Don't go getting all "save the gators" on me.
Not now, please.
What if I was to just shoot near 'em.
You shoot that gator in the head.
Anything else, you just making 'em mad.
So what was you and Miss "Stand By Your Man" talking about back there? Same thing you and Raoul talk about, minus the extra dick.
Bullshit.
Hey, Howard told me what the plan was this morning.
- And? - It's complicated.
[ominous music.]
Ah Well? Nothing.
I can't see a damn thing.
And cold, huh? Nuts must look like raisins.
Is that before or after you went in? Very funny.
[chuckles.]
So what's this plan of Howard's, anyway? They just don't want to do it like they did in the '60s, that's all.
What, no jam bands? Howard's been studying corporations you know, how they work infrastructure, um, diversification, shit like that.
Yeah, I know how it work.
They hire white folks and bend black folks over the barrel without no grease.
Always been that way.
Hmm.
I know you not believing this shit they talking.
Yeah, I'll do the next dive.
You know, the world don't run on fairy dust, Hap.
Nope.
Runs on money.
So let's see if we can find some, huh? Remember, don't stay down too long.
Hap, I'm serious.
[suspenseful music.]
[birds chirping.]
[birds chirping.]
[dramatic music.]
[splash.]
[alligator growls.]
[suspenseful music.]
Hap! Hap! [tense music.]
How does it make an impact if no one knows about it? We'll make sure everyone knows about it.
It'll be a huge statement that you're willing to do something like this, something so fearless.
But but we're talking about prison, Trudy.
Two years is is a long time.
But I'll be here when you get out.
- Hey, shithead.
- Shithead! Shithead.
Come on, turn over.
Come on.
[coughing.]
Come on, say something.
[sputtering.]
Come on, say something, say something.
[sputtering.]
Hey, buddy.
I think I found something.
You asshole.
[both laugh.]
We're initiating a stop-and-question policy, and a cash reward's being offered to anyone who provides information that leads to arrest.
Now, no further comments at this time.
Hey.
Any luck? Not with the money, no, but I think I know what I'm gonna be wearing to Halloween this year.
Softboy.
Holy Whoo! You found the car! - [laughs.]
- I found it, all right.
Yeah, nearly took it for a damn spin.
It's gonna be real hard to get at, though.
It's deep.
Gon' need some gear.
All right, then.
All right, we're in business.
We might have a little bit of a problem here.
There's been another murder a woman.
This whole town's gonna be swarming with police by morning, so Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get it.
[The Fly Bi Nights' "Found Love" plays.]
Dancing through my work of today Found love I knew you'd stay When I saw you, first I thought That no one other could see my heart [air hissing.]
Found love what you say Found love true today All clear by me.
Same here.
We're all clear.
Over.
- Jesus! - Sorry.
Maybe you should just hand me this gun.
I'll be more careful.
Paco, we're all alone.
River's all clear, at least for now.
We are good to go.
Got it.
Over and out.
[whistles.]
Let's do this.
[checks air pressure.]
[tense music.]
[breathing through respirators.]
[yelling indistinctly.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
- Oh, no! - Get down.
Shh.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
[eerie music.]
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
[suspenseful music.]
[psychedelic '60s pop.]
Everything's gonna be all right [laughing and indistinct conversations.]
God damn! [all laughing.]
That felt like something out of a movie.
My adrenaline's going crazy.
[laughter.]
See what happens when you work as a team? I told you Hap would find it.
Hey, shh.
Hey.
Who left the gate open? Uh-oh.
[indistinct police radio chatter.]
Goddamned Bible thumper.
He must've heard about the reward money.
Shit, no telling how many cops or roadblocks are out there.
We need to get out of this county, find someplace to lay low for a while.
Hey, uh, we could always go to Leonard's place.
What? My place too small.
Back it up, Hap.
Get us outta here.
[suspenseful music.]
[low-key blues rock.]
Up here.
Hold on, hold on, hold on.
Watch my damn table.
[laughter.]
- Okay.
- [laughter.]
We can get you a new table, man.
Leonard, where are your glasses? In the cupboard right over there.
- All right.
- Here, whiskey.
We got them skinny numbers? Keep it on the plastic.
Fire 'em up.
Hap, where you going? Aw, yeah.
All right.
[indistinct chatter.]
Mm, mm, mm.
- Hey, man.
- [inhaling smoke.]
Want a hit? No, no thanks.
That shit gives you tits.
You seen that dude Jerry Garcia? Man got D cups.
- Oh.
- Here you go.
Get that in ya.
Tonight, this is a victory for all of us.
Cheers.
Yeah, thanks.
Your whiskey, man.
Don't I know it.
Crack a window! Smell like Woodstock in here.
- Hey.
- Nah, no, brother.
It give makes me paranoid.
Ah, paranoia just means having all the facts, man.
Huh? Burroughs.
Oh, right.
[chuckles.]
Yeah.
Give that to him.
Ahh.
Mm.
Hell, no.
Hell, no.
Everything in my house is off-limits to you.
That's the rule.
Now go on.
[guys clattering in background.]
[pounding.]
[Ernest Tubb's "It's America (Love It or Leave It)".]
It's America, love it or leave it Ugh! [both laughing.]
Well, I'm getting mighty tired Of seeing hippies running wild And burning down the schools Stepping on the flag Are you serious, Leonard? You actually own this? Play it all the time.
Great harmonies.
Some folks think it's okay [laughs.]
But I wasn't raised that way And I won't be satisfied till I've had my say all: It's America You got no right to deceive it [mumbles.]
[both laughing.]
You'd better believe it Good men gave their lives So we could live to see it all: It's America, love it or leave it [pounding.]
Let me try.
Let me try.
Love it or leave it Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
- You did it, Hap.
[song ends.]
No, we did it.
[The Moving Sidewalks' "No Good To Cry" playing.]
You and me, just like the old times.
New times, honey.
New times.
Hear that new girl came to town Trudy.
[laughs.]
Now your baby's nowhere Nowhere around Love's a game, you're in it And you were so proud of it Someone you can depend on Someone you can rely on No matter what you say He won't come back Baby, baby, baby [vocalizing.]
Be brave, sugar.
Can you hold on one second, sir? What? I refuse to serve, based on principle.
What did you say? I refuse to serve, based on principle.
Line's over there.
['60s soul playing.]
My windowpane So what's next for Hap Collins? That's a big question.
You've had your whole life to think about it.
I met a cop today I'm looking for an answer, sugar I tried to smile Preferably a good one.
I watched that bride Listen, I-I'm all for changing the world and all, and I think what you guys have been talking about is just But I don't think I want to run away from everything just yet and join the circus, however exciting that circus is.
So you still think that this is all just a big joke? No.
No, no, no, no, no, that's that's not what I mean.
I'm sorry.
You know me, baby, I I'm not always good with words.
You have your moments.
I just want to be with you.
Not the whole package.
Just you.
You understand? [laughs.]
Shh.
[whispers.]
Oh, shit.
Oh, no.
No, no, no.
What? - No, no.
- It's mulch.
No.
[groans.]
Don't think about it.
Think about what? Whatever it is you're thinking about.
This time tomorrow, we are gonna have a bucket-load of cash, foot massages on a beach somewhere, little cucumber rings on our eyes.
[gun cocks.]
Boys, it looks like the shoe's on the other foot.
Howard I don't even know what that means in this context.
It means we're taking all the money, and if you try to stop us, we'll kill you.
Goddamn it, Hap.