Harlem (2021) s01e03 Episode Script
Rainbow Sprinkles
1
Across all cultures,
mating is very often
a dance of deception.
In the name of sex, love,
and everything in between,
perceptions are played with
in order to enhance
or hide certain realities.
Why is it so hard
to accept ♪
The party is over ♪
Camille, I'm engaged.
You came
with your new friends ♪
And her mom jeans
and her new Vans ♪
And she's perfect
and I hate it
- Pretty girl at the party.
- Mira.
That's her name, but yeah.
I just I was waiting
for the right time to tell you.
Before you kissed me
would have been great.
Well, I mean, you kissed me.
Really?
You're looking
for a technicality?
Okay, fine. Yeah.
I leaned in first,
but you didn't pull away.
And only one of us
knew about the engagement.
- Yes, it was a mistake.
- You think?
Look, Camille,
I feel bad about this.
I feel
like an idiot.
Come on, Camille.
No, please don't.
Warm enough for ya
outside baby, yeah
Goodbye, Ian.
It's warm enough here
for ya ♪
Warm enough outside ♪
Inside me, me, me, me ♪
I get so lonely,
I forget what I'm worth ♪
We get so lonely,
we pretend that this works ♪
I'm so ashamed of myself ♪♪
- Told y'all.
- Damn.
Guys, I'm fine!
I'm seriously fine.
Girl, you know
we don't believe you, right?
You have rainbow sprinkles
in your hair.
Guys, this is
completely normal.
In all ancient cultures,
they would feast after death.
And I think getting this close
to a promotion
when Robin is fired
is exactly the kind of grief
that deserves a sundae in bed.
- Mm-mm.
- Okay.
Girl, all this
ain't just about work.
And you are giving me
serious 2016 déjà vu.
And we're not gonna let you
disappear for weeks over Ian
like you did the last time.
Nope! Out of bed.
We're going out.
You guys don't understand.
I was this close to full-time.
Which means benefits
and a nice raise.
And I was finally on track
for tenure.
And yes, fine, Ian being
engaged was a surprise too.
When you saw her at the party,
did she look pregnant?
- No, Angie. What the fuck?
- Why would you ask that?
Why else do people get married?
Because they love each other?
Ooh. Okay, that's worse.
You know, I prefer my ex
marry some ho he knocked up
rather than know
he for real fell in love
with someone who isn't me.
- She's not helping.
- I know.
Never.
I ended things with Ian so that
I could focus on my career,
and that just blew up.
Do you guys think
if I went with him to Paris,
that'd be me instead?
Oh, honey,
you cannot think that.
Yes. You chose you.
Men do that shit all the time
with no regrets.
But what if I do have regrets?
When we kissed
What?
Hold up. He's engaged
and he kissed you?
I know. I know.
But it was like what you said.
It felt like
like the universe
wants us together.
So win him back.
Call ICE on that British bitch.
No, it's not even about her.
It's just, I had a plan
and none of this
is a part of it.
Fuck.
Just fuck!
- Oh, no. Baby. Come on.
- No!
What do you
want to do, Camille?
We don't have to go out.
I I have my Forbes interview
tomorrow anyway, so
Oh, she went five minutes
without saying Forbes.
Excuse me for being proud.
I think fresh air
will help, won't it?
Yeah, Camille.
I cleared my schedule
Of what?
Ain't no magazine
interviewing you.
Okay, unnecessary shade.
- No, because you started it.
- No, you started it.
Okay, we all started it,
and now we're going to end it.
No!
See, Camille?
Doesn't it feel better
to be out?
Sure.
The ride is nice.
Thanks for getting
the Uber, Ang.
Uber Black, bitch.
And you're welcome.
Wait, how can you afford that?
Did you get back on my account?
Quit putting my business
in these streets.
- I thought you got a new job.
- Fuck no.
I can't take that wack part
in that wack show.
I'm aiming higher.
In show business,
perception is reality.
If I say yes to being
in the background of Get Out,
then I remain
in the background.
Yes, but where are you now,
except in my Uber?
Uber Black.
Go bananas ♪
Roll it, go bananas ♪
Shake it, go bananas ♪♪
Oh, my God, Daniel just texted
that he misses me.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry, Camille.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't don't do that.
You deserve love.
If this is gonna be fun,
you can't keep
checking in with me.
Do we know who Daniel is?
He's the guy that I met
on this Prestige app.
I still don't see how she got
accepted and I got kicked off.
- Kicked off?
- Why?
They said my profile pic
was too "vulgar."
Honey, it is called Prestige.
What's more prestigious
than my tits?
Look, look, look, look.
Look how cute he is.
Ooh, girl, he is so fine.
He has an MBA from Wharton.
We text all day.
Mm-hmm, y'all
been texting forever.
Why haven't you seen him
in person yet?
Because he says that
anticipation is old-fashioned.
Convenient.
Okay, can we just
fast-forward to the part
where we find out
you got catfished?
I'm sorry.
That sounded bitter.
We were all thinking it,
though.
Yay.
Let's go, ladies!
Ladies,
this isn't black magic.
This is Black Girl Magic!
Quinn, what is this?
It was 10% off at Groupon.
Black girl magic.
Black girl magic.
Black girl magic.
Let's light this up!
- Oh.
- Oh!
Shake what ya momma
gave ya ♪
Now get it, get it, get it,
get it, get it, get it ♪
If you ain't throwin' cash,
why the hell ya came, bruh ♪
Shake it for a nigga with
a trick or double digits ♪
Bald-head scallywag,
doo-doo brown
And now the human chandelier.
Clapping hands,
they gotta make a sound ♪
I'm finna show y'all hos
how we get down ♪
The fuck?
Bust it, baby, ooh
Black girl ma
I can't decide if that show
made me feel better or worse.
I already forgot what we saw.
Aw, you guys, Daniel
just texted me good night.
Mm, dick pic.
Ew. No.
- No, I just got a dick pic.
- Oh.
And look at this brother's
ashy knees.
If you got one
hanging this long,
moisturize
your motherfucking knees
or, you know,
crop the shit out.
Okay, that's my cue
to leave.
Oh, but the food
hasn't even come yet.
I know, but I need
to get a good night's sleep
- before my
- Forbes interview.
Well, call us after.
- I shall.
- Break legs, bitch.
- Proud of you.
- Mwah!
Our girl's gon' be in Forbes.
I'ma be in Forbes.
I'ma be in Forbes.
See, here I am sad about an ex.
What happened to me?
I did better when
I wasn't thinking about men.
Preach. Fuck Ian.
Keep doing you.
You're right.
Ian who?
I'm about work.
I'm about career.
And tomorrow,
I'm gonna introduce myself
to the new department head
and make her
fall in love with me.
- Yes.
- Yes!
That's my baby!
See?
I've been healed
by Black girl magic.
- Yay!
- Oh, gosh.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Pruitt?
From Yale?
You're the new department head?
I'm such a fan of your work.
I've read all three of your
books at least a dozen times.
I quoted your research heavily
in my dissertation.
Wow!
Um, I'm one
of the adjunct professors,
Camille Parks.
I'm teaching Anthropology
of Sex and Love this semester.
Can I call you back?
Yeah, that's fine,
Dr. Pruitt.
I'll talk to you later.
- Sorry.
- Thanks.
Sorry I just
kind of bust in here.
I was excited.
Yes, you did, Camille Parks.
I've heard a lot about you.
It's nice to put a face
to the reputation.
Uh, reputation?
Do you mean, like, good or
not bad?
Did you come in here
for a reason?
Yes, um, to, uh, say hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Take care.
Right.
Yes, um, you you take care.
Um, and if you need anything,
I'm here. I'm your girl.
- Are you free this afternoon?
- Yes.
Yes, I am definitely free
this afternoon.
And even if I wasn't,
I would change my schedule
because I've given up dating
and I really want
to hone in on my career goals.
Um, I really want
to make it about
- Camille.
- Yes?
- I'm a big fan of boundaries.
- Okay.
So I need you
to just press pause
and come by my house for tea.
- And we'll talk then.
- Okay.
That sounds like fun.
Great.
Uh, well, I'm gonna go.
Um, I will see you later.
Um, yeah, okay.
Well, I will see you later.
- See you later.
- Okay.
Yo, shee ♪
Look, whoo, yo ♪
Top gyal, top gyal,
top gyal, top gyal ♪
Top gyal ♪
Top gyal, top gyal
- Quinn?
- Yes.
That is the name
on the account,
so that is me, Quinn.
Your chariot awaits.
Let's get you to the ball.
Or, uh, Duane Reade in Tribeca.
So we're gonna pass, like,
50 Duane Reades on the way.
I don't like those ones.
The one by me
never has blue Gatorade.
The one on Lennox's lights
don't work in the back,
and that's just rape-y.
Oh, and someone said something
bad about Obama in that one.
The one on, uh,
129th and ACP
Smells like mop water.
Girl, you something else.
Oh, you don't know the half.
I need a, yo
Anna Sharpe
from Forbes is here.
Send her in.
You are the boss, bitch.
You got this.
Oh.
Please, take a seat.
Don't worry.
This isn't awkward at all.
Did you know who I was when
Of course not.
I'm freelance, last-minute
filling in for the usual guy.
Oh, okay.
Well, we fucked.
No biggie.
Let's just
keep it professional.
Of course.
So
what was the drive
behind creating your app, Q?
I saw a hole, and I filled it.
It's pretty hard to believe
that before Q,
there hasn't been a dating app
specifically dedicated
to the queer POC population.
But there is a demand?
The over $5 million invested
should answer that question.
We're using Camrose,
the most advanced
programming language out there.
We took the most accurate
personality tests
Myers-Briggs, Love Language,
Fisher Temperament
all to guarantee
the most precise matches.
Yes, the app's tagline
is "Love guaranteed."
That's a bit misleading,
isn't it?
- How so?
- For one,
it's hard to guarantee
someone finds love.
Even harder when you eliminate
an entire demographic of people
from your app.
How do you justify that?
I justify it because QPOC
are the most vulnerable
and overlooked markets.
And they need to feel safe
when dating.
Have you ever had
a relationship with a non-POC?
In the past.
Would you say you're against
interracial dating?
No, not at all.
People can do what they want.
But you yourself
are uninterested
in dating a non-POC?
I'll rephrase.
Let's say you and I met
at a bar, had a great time,
and I asked you out on a date.
What would you say?
I am currently not interested
in pursuing relationships
with non-POC folks.
But given your history,
you are interested
in having sex with non-POC.
It's a bit hypocritical,
don't you think?
Excuse me?
If I were to say
I were only interested
in having sex
with people of color
but uninterested
in anything romantic,
one might call that
a fetishization.
Wouldn't you?
I'm sorry.
What was the question again?
I have to go get
fake smart girl glasses
for an audition.
- Ah, you're an actor?
- I'm a legend.
Sometimes I sing,
and sometimes I act.
So we both paint pictures
with words.
I'm a a poet.
I thought poets were old.
More Love Jones,
less Langston Hughes.
Hmm.
An ad agency wanted
to hire me, but
I don't use my art
for capitalism.
Capitalism is bullshit.
That's why I don't do jobs.
Yeah, gotta stay true
to the art.
Yes! You get it.
So I was offered
this shitty role
in Get Out: the Musical.
So I had to turn it down.
It just wasn't inspired.
A true artist will never
compromise her soul.
Mm. That's deep.
Hey, hey, you know what?
Um, I'ma head back uptown
after I drop you off.
- Mm-hmm.
- If you want,
I can keep this carriage
waiting for you.
My treat.
Oh, I would like that
very much.
Verdict?
Oh, my God.
Girl, you look good.
Okay, like Black Chyna
going to court good.
I'm gonna change.
But you know what?
Honestly, I feel good.
The new anthropology head?
A sista.
No. Oh, my God,
that's amazing.
Yes, girl.
She is Black.
And she's already
invited me over for tea.
That's what's up!
You see, we need
to pull each other up.
That's what all these dudes
are doing in tech.
Yesterday,
I was so down, you know?
I mean, you saw me.
- Oh, we did.
- Tragic.
I thought that
losing Robin meant
that I had to start
all over again,
but having Dr. Pruitt
as a mentor
is, like, a game-changer.
I mean, having her cosign
is pretty much
being guaranteed tenure.
You see?
Girl, I don't know.
Maybe Ian coming back in town
might have been good luck.
I'm not even
thinking about him.
I'm all about work now.
Ha! Sure, you are.
Okay, I think
that this one
is perfect
for tea with the doctor.
Y'all don't think mine
is too swaggy for Forbes?
- Honey, no!
- No.
Stop playing.
Please look at yourself.
Okay?
Look, this is a photo shoot.
You're supposed to be the
swaggier version of yourself.
I mean, look, this jacket
is making a statement.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is it a statement?
Or is it more
of a confused question?
I want to look professional.
Since when did you
care so much about that?
Since Forbes!
And since
I fucked the interviewer.
You fucked on the record?
Before.
Y'all remember
that thirsty chick
from the club who ate my food?
- Wait!
- No!
That girl writes for Forbes?
Who would have
expected that shit?
I mean, she was cool at first,
and then she started asking me
all kinds of shady questions.
Is this gonna go bad?
I don't need any bad press,
not right now.
- No.
- No, no, no. It's okay.
It's okay. You know what?
You just reach back out to her.
You know, me and Dr. Pruitt
got off on a really weird foot,
but then I fixed it.
And then
she invited me over for tea.
Okay, so like an interview
part two.
- Yes!
- The remix.
Yes!
Oh, my God!
It's Daniel.
- Remind me Daniel?
- Who?
Daniel. Wharton.
Entrepreneur.
We talked about him last night.
The guy from Prestige.
Oh, that catfish nigga.
Okay, I've never seen him
before in real life,
so I mean, how do I look?
- You look ama
- Hey, Daniel!
Wow, you are
even more beautiful
- than your pictures.
- Thank you.
And you are
the same man in yours.
What? Did you think
I was catfishing you
or something?
- No.
- Yup.
Well, I think
it's time for a face-to-face.
- Are you free
- Yes!
- I mean, when?
- Tonight, 7:00 p.m.
- Uh, do you like
- Yes. I mean
- I mean, what?
- Lobster?
Yes. I love lobster!
Great. I will see you tonight
at 7:00.
Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
- I'll text you the address.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
Yes! He is real!
He is real!
Oh, my God!
Yes! Quinn is back, bitches!
Y'all better
hurry the fuck up.
I got a date.
Congrats?
I mean, he did seem real.
It's a sad day for society
when all a man has to do
is exist.
Touché, my sista.
Mm.
And I thought she was
allergic to lobster.
You know that bitch is.
I just bought
a new grill
You are not
auditioning for them.
They're auditioning for you.
That's not really how it works.
Yes, it is.
You said no to that other part
so you can get this one.
And if not this part,
then it'll be the next one.
Even on the cloudiest day,
the sun is also above you
in the sky somewhere.
You got some pretty words,
Emmanuel.
Thank you, Quinn.
I'm on a high ♪
They on a low ♪
You killin' my vibe ♪
Get out my zone ♪
Said I'm on a high ♪
They on a low ♪
You killin' my vibe ♪
Get out my zone
Wait! I didn't get your number.
Fuck.
What do you bring to tea?
I mean, if I bring flowers,
is it gonna seem
like I feel like
we're on a date?
I just want her to like me.
She's Black. You're Black.
She has to like you.
- That's the rule.
- Is it?
Because there's definitely some
Black people we don't like.
Ooh, French cuisine.
- Fuck that noise!
- I mean fuck that noise.
I can't believe
they did this to Ray's.
That was our spot.
It's all white.
That's the new soul?
Oh, yeah. There's definitely
gonna be a protest.
Oh, hell yeah.
There needs to be.
Should we go?
- Uh
- My grandmother is sick.
I can't really be marching.
My knees are bad.
But you should go.
You have a voice, Camille.
And you're really passionate
about this kind of stuff.
Yeah, but I mean, I do my thing
on the intellectual side
with my research and writing.
That's true.
That's true.
I mean, you start
talking in front of a crowd,
the next thing you know,
you're fired.
- I mean, look at Robin.
- I don't know, girl.
I mean, I feel like
Black people are
a little bit more forgiving.
- Um
- Look at Kanye.
He's out here wearing MAGA hats
and then he's ranting
incomprehensibly
about Star Wars
housing for the homeless.
And we still let him
preach in church.
Nah, Quinn.
Black Twitter,
Instagram, NewsOne,
the Breakfast Club,
all of them will drag your ass.
We can't have our girl Camille
canceled
before she even gets started.
Yeah, and I don't want
to be labeled
the Uncle Tom bed-wench who
brought kale to the cookout.
- Ooh, no.
- What's wrong with kale?
Were her parents the only
Black people she grew up with?
No, girl.
You add a little bit of garlic,
some butter, girl,
you add some bacon.
Ah-ha! It's poppin'.
- Bitch, that ain't kale.
- That's greens.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
So it's a work in progress,
but, see, the front
is all Michelle Obama.
Good, strong girl vibes, right?
But spin around,
and the back screams
Hell yes, I'll blow you in
the coat closet before dessert.
Oh, my God, no, I was just
going for a little sexy.
I don't blow in a coat closet
or eat dessert.
Should I put on something else?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, makeup.
Eye shadow, lipstick.
Does it say future CEO's wife
or basketball wife?
Angie, what's wrong?
I met a guy who gets me.
Like, really gets me.
Oh, my God, honey.
This is amazing.
You deserve a good guy.
Just like my Daniel.
Sure, except my guy's,
like, you know, real.
Bitch, Daniel is real.
He is video-verified.
Until he's not.
Please, just support me.
I do. But, girl, come on.
Your dates are
never just dates.
They always come
with some fucking
weird asterisks or caveat.
I know!
And I hate it, okay?
God, I just want simple.
I just want sweet.
I have been looking for love,
real love, for so long.
And it has to be my turn.
Universe, hear me manifest.
Daniel is the one.
Okay. Daniel is the one.
Maybe my guy is too.
If I ever find him.
Why wouldn't you find him?
'Cause he was a driver
in a subway
subway driver.
And he was an artist also,
like me.
And we vibed so hard.
And now I am kicking myself
for not getting his number
before he drove
I stepped off the train.
Girl, so?
You know the train.
Go back to that train again
and again
and again until you find him.
Oh, my God!
This is like a real meet-cute,
like out of a Kate Hudson film
or something.
I don't know who that is,
but it sounds lovely.
Thank you, Quinny.
Girl, go find your man.
Go find him.
- And you claim yours.
- I will.
Oh wait, hold up.
Makeup?
Yes to the eyes.
Hard no for the lips.
Yeah. I can do that.
Tap, tap, tap in ♪
Wrist on glitter,
waist on thinner ♪
I'ma show you how to bag
Come on, Emmanuel.
See me.
Cancel.
Request.
Cancel.
Request.
Okay, this is the one.
Come on, God.
Work with me.
Bring me Emmanuel.
End up on the Dateline ♪
Fuck no.
Request.
Cancel.
Request.
Cancel.
I just want love too!
Okay, request.
Come on, Emmanuel.
Come on, Emmanuel.
Cancel.
Oh, maybe.
No.
- Professor Parks.
- Nora. Hi.
What what are you doing here?
Dr. Pruitt wanted someone
to show her around campus,
and I guess they were like,
"Nora Longbone because
she's always available,"
because I don't have a life.
- Oh.
- Anyways,
she sent me the e-vite
as a thank-you.
- There was an e-vite?
- Mm-hmm.
This place is so cool.
The bathroom has
a porcelain bidet.
Um, do you think
she actually uses it?
Or is it just for show?
I have no idea, Nora.
Excuse me.
My appointment
here at Columbia
could not have come
at a better time.
You know, I've just started
a new project
involving the thriving
free Black settlement
that was destroyed in 1850s
to make room for Central Park.
Oh, Seneca Village.
That is so interesting,
Dr. Pruitt.
Enlighten me.
Camille.
Cam Camille Parks.
We met met this morning.
Ah, yes.
The one that loves to tweet.
I actually did
my thesis on gentrification.
And Seneca Village
could be considered
one of the first gentrified
Black urban sites in New York.
So if you are looking
for a research assistant
Then I am available
to start ASAP.
Okay.
Well, thank you both.
It's just, as the other
Black woman in the department,
um, it's such a such
a personal subject to me
Exactly, Camille,
and when I think
of the sacrifice
my people made in this city
- Aren't you from Oklahoma?
- I'm Lenape.
My people were forced
to relocate
from New York to Oklahoma.
We truly thank you
for your ancestors' sacrifice.
You know, recently,
I did a 23andMe
and discovered
I'm 3.6% Japanese.
I used to wonder
why I gravitated
toward sushi and calligraphy.
And it all made sense.
Really gives new meaning
to the word "Caucasian."
That's a lot to unpack.
Right?
It's crazy.
I heard you have a bidet.
Thank you so much
for coming back.
Okay.
I thought we covered everything
pretty well
the last time I was here.
No. Get your
little recorder thing out.
I want this on record.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so your "fetish" argument
doesn't work in the reverse.
This may come as a shocker,
but as a white woman
on a dating app,
you're not a part
of the vulnerable class.
You're actually the most
highly desired and sought-after
of all ethnic groups,
straight or queer.
And regardless
of who I may sleep with
or have relationships with,
this app is necessary
for the thousands of people
who want to date
without having to explain why.
Today people still
shouldn't be wearing blackface
on Halloween or answering
ignorant-ass messages
from people who just "have such
a thing for Black women."
Now, off the record,
you're the one who left
in the middle of the night.
You didn't text.
And you ate
my beef and broccoli.
I don't know which one
I'm more upset about.
Still off the record,
I didn't think we needed
to pretend it was
anything more than it was.
You weren't exactly sending
"let's do this again" vibes.
Now, on the record,
you're absolutely right.
Your app is necessary.
But I'm a journalist.
And it's my job
to ask the tough questions.
Like, might you be willing
to let this non-POC woman
take you out?
Off the record.
On a date.
What?
Well, at the very least,
I owe you a beef and broccoli.
That, you do.
Ah, you must be Quinn.
Daniel's expecting you.
Please come in.
Oh. Um, are are we
are we having dinner here?
Yes, food is provided.
Perfect timing, Quinn.
We're just getting started.
Help yourself
to a lobster roll.
Okay.
Now, what if I told you
that in just one year,
you could all own
a Park Avenue penthouse?
Well, when you sign up to be
an Herbal Wonderkind sales rep,
you are taking a step closer
to that dream.
- Thank you, Pam.
- You're welcome, Daniel.
- Isn't this exciting, ladies?
- Oh, my God.
Are you fucking kidding me?
A pyramid scheme?
Does the date happen
after this?
Oh, sweetie.
Dr. Pruitt.
Before I go,
I just wanted to say
I'm so very happy
that you're here.
You know, honestly,
this is my first opportunity
to work with a Black woman
since I got here six years ago.
To have someone like you
mentor me,
I mean, someone who really
understands my struggle, girl?
Enlighten me, Camille.
You tweet witty barbs
about injustice all day long.
What struggle?
- Um, well, I
- It's a rhetorical question.
Yeah, yeah.
It's called social media
for a reason,
'cause it's a great place
for people to come and talk.
But let's be clear:
that's all it is.
Now, if you want
to talk about struggle,
you got to get off your phone
and get out into the field,
because to study culture
is to be in it.
Not to observe it
from the outside
but to actually live in it.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah.
Good.
Good night.
We have a protest
coming up, actually.
- I mean, I I do.
- By yourself?
No, I am a part
of the GentriWhy movement.
It's a coincidence.
I was thinking that I need
to do more in-person work,
so that's why um, yeah,
that's why it's happening.
Well, great.
And good night.
And I'm giving a speech.
A great speech.
It's gonna be so good.
I hope it goes well.
- This is your coat, right?
- Yeah.
Shh, I'm sleeping.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
It's just that it's Quinn.
Your best friend who managed
to hit an all-time low
in her tragic dating history.
Only to wait for the A-train
for maybe an hour
before they said
it wasn't running.
And then I got ignored by
every single cab on the street.
So I got to enjoy a brisk walk
all the way home
in freezing rain
because my Uber account
has been suspended
due to excessive
cancellation fees.
Would you happen to know
why that is, Angie?
Yes.
But it's your fault
for giving me love advice
from a woman who sells
overpriced yoga pants.
- What?
- Yes, bitch.
I looked her up.
Kate Hudson movies lie.
There is no meet-cute
in real life
for a Brown girl in Manhattan.
Amen.
Oh, good!
Those are the cookies
that I ordered on my walk home.
I thought
you didn't eat dessert.
Bitch, new me.
Just answer the door.
Insomnia cookies.
- Emmanuel!
- Quinn!
Angie?
I thought your name was Quinn.
- What's going on?
- I'll explain later.
How are you here?
Postmates.
I brought your cookies.
It's fate.
I can have a meet-cute too.
I feel like Kate Hudson.
Ooh, Quinn.
It's my poet from Uber.
Okay, great.
Can he get my account unlocked?
Maybe if he unlocks me first.
Never let the money go ♪
I put it in a air lock
- Hoo!
- Fuck!
Oh, that was amazing.
And unexpected.
I just couldn't wait.
So can we go to your place now
and fuck like adults?
Oh, we're here.
I know.
I mean can we go up
to your place
and, you know,
finish what we started?
No, I mean this is my place.
You live in your car?
Like, you live in this car
we've been riding around in
all day?
Like, this is your home?
Well, uh, poetry
doesn't really pay.
And I mean, you get it.
We're artists.
- Jesus.
- We don't chase coin.
We chase inspiration.
Mm, sure.
In theory.
But no, fuck that.
An artist also needs to eat.
We are not the same.
I don't even have a car
to live out of.
Shit!
I have to call that director.
I am doing Get Out.
I fucked up.
I can't do this.
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
Oh, God, please don't
let this get crazy.
The Black man invented food
when we were pharaohs
in Africa.
And now the white man thinks
he can come to Harlem
and teach us how to eat?
- No!
- What in the hotep?
To that, I say, "Why?"
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
Now I'd like
to turn the mic over
to Miss Dr. Camille Parks
"Miss Doctor"?
who's got a few
educated words to say.
Uh
thank you, DaKwame.
Um, maybe I should clear up
a a few things first.
Uh, all humans ate food.
And, uh, most Black Americans
did not descend from pharaohs.
We are West African.
Uh what else?
Um
did you know that pharaohs
used to marry their sisters?
It was crazy, right?
Um
Sometimes with deceptions
in the name of love,
we can lose ourselves,
forget who we actually are.
If you're here today,
it's because Ray's meant
something to you, to Harlem.
And it meant a lot
because it was ours.
And, for real, we don't have
a lot that's ours.
So when it's gone,
a piece of us goes too.
So I stand here today
not to say "GentriWhy"
but "GentriWho."
Not us. Not anymore.
So stand with me, Harlem,
as we boycott Chalmette
and let them know, not us.
Not anymore.
GentriWho! GentriWho!
GentriWho! GentriWho!
GentriWho!
- Right on, Miss Doctor.
But eventually,
we find our way back
Thank you.
for better or for worse,
to the truth.
- Hi.
- What the fuck, Camille?
- What?
- Come here.
I'm the head chef here.
What the fuck?
Across all cultures,
mating is very often
a dance of deception.
In the name of sex, love,
and everything in between,
perceptions are played with
in order to enhance
or hide certain realities.
Why is it so hard
to accept ♪
The party is over ♪
Camille, I'm engaged.
You came
with your new friends ♪
And her mom jeans
and her new Vans ♪
And she's perfect
and I hate it
- Pretty girl at the party.
- Mira.
That's her name, but yeah.
I just I was waiting
for the right time to tell you.
Before you kissed me
would have been great.
Well, I mean, you kissed me.
Really?
You're looking
for a technicality?
Okay, fine. Yeah.
I leaned in first,
but you didn't pull away.
And only one of us
knew about the engagement.
- Yes, it was a mistake.
- You think?
Look, Camille,
I feel bad about this.
I feel
like an idiot.
Come on, Camille.
No, please don't.
Warm enough for ya
outside baby, yeah
Goodbye, Ian.
It's warm enough here
for ya ♪
Warm enough outside ♪
Inside me, me, me, me ♪
I get so lonely,
I forget what I'm worth ♪
We get so lonely,
we pretend that this works ♪
I'm so ashamed of myself ♪♪
- Told y'all.
- Damn.
Guys, I'm fine!
I'm seriously fine.
Girl, you know
we don't believe you, right?
You have rainbow sprinkles
in your hair.
Guys, this is
completely normal.
In all ancient cultures,
they would feast after death.
And I think getting this close
to a promotion
when Robin is fired
is exactly the kind of grief
that deserves a sundae in bed.
- Mm-mm.
- Okay.
Girl, all this
ain't just about work.
And you are giving me
serious 2016 déjà vu.
And we're not gonna let you
disappear for weeks over Ian
like you did the last time.
Nope! Out of bed.
We're going out.
You guys don't understand.
I was this close to full-time.
Which means benefits
and a nice raise.
And I was finally on track
for tenure.
And yes, fine, Ian being
engaged was a surprise too.
When you saw her at the party,
did she look pregnant?
- No, Angie. What the fuck?
- Why would you ask that?
Why else do people get married?
Because they love each other?
Ooh. Okay, that's worse.
You know, I prefer my ex
marry some ho he knocked up
rather than know
he for real fell in love
with someone who isn't me.
- She's not helping.
- I know.
Never.
I ended things with Ian so that
I could focus on my career,
and that just blew up.
Do you guys think
if I went with him to Paris,
that'd be me instead?
Oh, honey,
you cannot think that.
Yes. You chose you.
Men do that shit all the time
with no regrets.
But what if I do have regrets?
When we kissed
What?
Hold up. He's engaged
and he kissed you?
I know. I know.
But it was like what you said.
It felt like
like the universe
wants us together.
So win him back.
Call ICE on that British bitch.
No, it's not even about her.
It's just, I had a plan
and none of this
is a part of it.
Fuck.
Just fuck!
- Oh, no. Baby. Come on.
- No!
What do you
want to do, Camille?
We don't have to go out.
I I have my Forbes interview
tomorrow anyway, so
Oh, she went five minutes
without saying Forbes.
Excuse me for being proud.
I think fresh air
will help, won't it?
Yeah, Camille.
I cleared my schedule
Of what?
Ain't no magazine
interviewing you.
Okay, unnecessary shade.
- No, because you started it.
- No, you started it.
Okay, we all started it,
and now we're going to end it.
No!
See, Camille?
Doesn't it feel better
to be out?
Sure.
The ride is nice.
Thanks for getting
the Uber, Ang.
Uber Black, bitch.
And you're welcome.
Wait, how can you afford that?
Did you get back on my account?
Quit putting my business
in these streets.
- I thought you got a new job.
- Fuck no.
I can't take that wack part
in that wack show.
I'm aiming higher.
In show business,
perception is reality.
If I say yes to being
in the background of Get Out,
then I remain
in the background.
Yes, but where are you now,
except in my Uber?
Uber Black.
Go bananas ♪
Roll it, go bananas ♪
Shake it, go bananas ♪♪
Oh, my God, Daniel just texted
that he misses me.
Oh, shit.
I'm sorry, Camille.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't don't do that.
You deserve love.
If this is gonna be fun,
you can't keep
checking in with me.
Do we know who Daniel is?
He's the guy that I met
on this Prestige app.
I still don't see how she got
accepted and I got kicked off.
- Kicked off?
- Why?
They said my profile pic
was too "vulgar."
Honey, it is called Prestige.
What's more prestigious
than my tits?
Look, look, look, look.
Look how cute he is.
Ooh, girl, he is so fine.
He has an MBA from Wharton.
We text all day.
Mm-hmm, y'all
been texting forever.
Why haven't you seen him
in person yet?
Because he says that
anticipation is old-fashioned.
Convenient.
Okay, can we just
fast-forward to the part
where we find out
you got catfished?
I'm sorry.
That sounded bitter.
We were all thinking it,
though.
Yay.
Let's go, ladies!
Ladies,
this isn't black magic.
This is Black Girl Magic!
Quinn, what is this?
It was 10% off at Groupon.
Black girl magic.
Black girl magic.
Black girl magic.
Let's light this up!
- Oh.
- Oh!
Shake what ya momma
gave ya ♪
Now get it, get it, get it,
get it, get it, get it ♪
If you ain't throwin' cash,
why the hell ya came, bruh ♪
Shake it for a nigga with
a trick or double digits ♪
Bald-head scallywag,
doo-doo brown
And now the human chandelier.
Clapping hands,
they gotta make a sound ♪
I'm finna show y'all hos
how we get down ♪
The fuck?
Bust it, baby, ooh
Black girl ma
I can't decide if that show
made me feel better or worse.
I already forgot what we saw.
Aw, you guys, Daniel
just texted me good night.
Mm, dick pic.
Ew. No.
- No, I just got a dick pic.
- Oh.
And look at this brother's
ashy knees.
If you got one
hanging this long,
moisturize
your motherfucking knees
or, you know,
crop the shit out.
Okay, that's my cue
to leave.
Oh, but the food
hasn't even come yet.
I know, but I need
to get a good night's sleep
- before my
- Forbes interview.
Well, call us after.
- I shall.
- Break legs, bitch.
- Proud of you.
- Mwah!
Our girl's gon' be in Forbes.
I'ma be in Forbes.
I'ma be in Forbes.
See, here I am sad about an ex.
What happened to me?
I did better when
I wasn't thinking about men.
Preach. Fuck Ian.
Keep doing you.
You're right.
Ian who?
I'm about work.
I'm about career.
And tomorrow,
I'm gonna introduce myself
to the new department head
and make her
fall in love with me.
- Yes.
- Yes!
That's my baby!
See?
I've been healed
by Black girl magic.
- Yay!
- Oh, gosh.
Oh, my God.
Dr. Pruitt?
From Yale?
You're the new department head?
I'm such a fan of your work.
I've read all three of your
books at least a dozen times.
I quoted your research heavily
in my dissertation.
Wow!
Um, I'm one
of the adjunct professors,
Camille Parks.
I'm teaching Anthropology
of Sex and Love this semester.
Can I call you back?
Yeah, that's fine,
Dr. Pruitt.
I'll talk to you later.
- Sorry.
- Thanks.
Sorry I just
kind of bust in here.
I was excited.
Yes, you did, Camille Parks.
I've heard a lot about you.
It's nice to put a face
to the reputation.
Uh, reputation?
Do you mean, like, good or
not bad?
Did you come in here
for a reason?
Yes, um, to, uh, say hello.
Hello.
Hello.
Take care.
Right.
Yes, um, you you take care.
Um, and if you need anything,
I'm here. I'm your girl.
- Are you free this afternoon?
- Yes.
Yes, I am definitely free
this afternoon.
And even if I wasn't,
I would change my schedule
because I've given up dating
and I really want
to hone in on my career goals.
Um, I really want
to make it about
- Camille.
- Yes?
- I'm a big fan of boundaries.
- Okay.
So I need you
to just press pause
and come by my house for tea.
- And we'll talk then.
- Okay.
That sounds like fun.
Great.
Uh, well, I'm gonna go.
Um, I will see you later.
Um, yeah, okay.
Well, I will see you later.
- See you later.
- Okay.
Yo, shee ♪
Look, whoo, yo ♪
Top gyal, top gyal,
top gyal, top gyal ♪
Top gyal ♪
Top gyal, top gyal
- Quinn?
- Yes.
That is the name
on the account,
so that is me, Quinn.
Your chariot awaits.
Let's get you to the ball.
Or, uh, Duane Reade in Tribeca.
So we're gonna pass, like,
50 Duane Reades on the way.
I don't like those ones.
The one by me
never has blue Gatorade.
The one on Lennox's lights
don't work in the back,
and that's just rape-y.
Oh, and someone said something
bad about Obama in that one.
The one on, uh,
129th and ACP
Smells like mop water.
Girl, you something else.
Oh, you don't know the half.
I need a, yo
Anna Sharpe
from Forbes is here.
Send her in.
You are the boss, bitch.
You got this.
Oh.
Please, take a seat.
Don't worry.
This isn't awkward at all.
Did you know who I was when
Of course not.
I'm freelance, last-minute
filling in for the usual guy.
Oh, okay.
Well, we fucked.
No biggie.
Let's just
keep it professional.
Of course.
So
what was the drive
behind creating your app, Q?
I saw a hole, and I filled it.
It's pretty hard to believe
that before Q,
there hasn't been a dating app
specifically dedicated
to the queer POC population.
But there is a demand?
The over $5 million invested
should answer that question.
We're using Camrose,
the most advanced
programming language out there.
We took the most accurate
personality tests
Myers-Briggs, Love Language,
Fisher Temperament
all to guarantee
the most precise matches.
Yes, the app's tagline
is "Love guaranteed."
That's a bit misleading,
isn't it?
- How so?
- For one,
it's hard to guarantee
someone finds love.
Even harder when you eliminate
an entire demographic of people
from your app.
How do you justify that?
I justify it because QPOC
are the most vulnerable
and overlooked markets.
And they need to feel safe
when dating.
Have you ever had
a relationship with a non-POC?
In the past.
Would you say you're against
interracial dating?
No, not at all.
People can do what they want.
But you yourself
are uninterested
in dating a non-POC?
I'll rephrase.
Let's say you and I met
at a bar, had a great time,
and I asked you out on a date.
What would you say?
I am currently not interested
in pursuing relationships
with non-POC folks.
But given your history,
you are interested
in having sex with non-POC.
It's a bit hypocritical,
don't you think?
Excuse me?
If I were to say
I were only interested
in having sex
with people of color
but uninterested
in anything romantic,
one might call that
a fetishization.
Wouldn't you?
I'm sorry.
What was the question again?
I have to go get
fake smart girl glasses
for an audition.
- Ah, you're an actor?
- I'm a legend.
Sometimes I sing,
and sometimes I act.
So we both paint pictures
with words.
I'm a a poet.
I thought poets were old.
More Love Jones,
less Langston Hughes.
Hmm.
An ad agency wanted
to hire me, but
I don't use my art
for capitalism.
Capitalism is bullshit.
That's why I don't do jobs.
Yeah, gotta stay true
to the art.
Yes! You get it.
So I was offered
this shitty role
in Get Out: the Musical.
So I had to turn it down.
It just wasn't inspired.
A true artist will never
compromise her soul.
Mm. That's deep.
Hey, hey, you know what?
Um, I'ma head back uptown
after I drop you off.
- Mm-hmm.
- If you want,
I can keep this carriage
waiting for you.
My treat.
Oh, I would like that
very much.
Verdict?
Oh, my God.
Girl, you look good.
Okay, like Black Chyna
going to court good.
I'm gonna change.
But you know what?
Honestly, I feel good.
The new anthropology head?
A sista.
No. Oh, my God,
that's amazing.
Yes, girl.
She is Black.
And she's already
invited me over for tea.
That's what's up!
You see, we need
to pull each other up.
That's what all these dudes
are doing in tech.
Yesterday,
I was so down, you know?
I mean, you saw me.
- Oh, we did.
- Tragic.
I thought that
losing Robin meant
that I had to start
all over again,
but having Dr. Pruitt
as a mentor
is, like, a game-changer.
I mean, having her cosign
is pretty much
being guaranteed tenure.
You see?
Girl, I don't know.
Maybe Ian coming back in town
might have been good luck.
I'm not even
thinking about him.
I'm all about work now.
Ha! Sure, you are.
Okay, I think
that this one
is perfect
for tea with the doctor.
Y'all don't think mine
is too swaggy for Forbes?
- Honey, no!
- No.
Stop playing.
Please look at yourself.
Okay?
Look, this is a photo shoot.
You're supposed to be the
swaggier version of yourself.
I mean, look, this jacket
is making a statement.
- Mm-hmm.
- Is it a statement?
Or is it more
of a confused question?
I want to look professional.
Since when did you
care so much about that?
Since Forbes!
And since
I fucked the interviewer.
You fucked on the record?
Before.
Y'all remember
that thirsty chick
from the club who ate my food?
- Wait!
- No!
That girl writes for Forbes?
Who would have
expected that shit?
I mean, she was cool at first,
and then she started asking me
all kinds of shady questions.
Is this gonna go bad?
I don't need any bad press,
not right now.
- No.
- No, no, no. It's okay.
It's okay. You know what?
You just reach back out to her.
You know, me and Dr. Pruitt
got off on a really weird foot,
but then I fixed it.
And then
she invited me over for tea.
Okay, so like an interview
part two.
- Yes!
- The remix.
Yes!
Oh, my God!
It's Daniel.
- Remind me Daniel?
- Who?
Daniel. Wharton.
Entrepreneur.
We talked about him last night.
The guy from Prestige.
Oh, that catfish nigga.
Okay, I've never seen him
before in real life,
so I mean, how do I look?
- You look ama
- Hey, Daniel!
Wow, you are
even more beautiful
- than your pictures.
- Thank you.
And you are
the same man in yours.
What? Did you think
I was catfishing you
or something?
- No.
- Yup.
Well, I think
it's time for a face-to-face.
- Are you free
- Yes!
- I mean, when?
- Tonight, 7:00 p.m.
- Uh, do you like
- Yes. I mean
- I mean, what?
- Lobster?
Yes. I love lobster!
Great. I will see you tonight
at 7:00.
Cool.
Cool. Cool. Cool.
- I'll text you the address.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay, bye.
- Bye.
Yes! He is real!
He is real!
Oh, my God!
Yes! Quinn is back, bitches!
Y'all better
hurry the fuck up.
I got a date.
Congrats?
I mean, he did seem real.
It's a sad day for society
when all a man has to do
is exist.
Touché, my sista.
Mm.
And I thought she was
allergic to lobster.
You know that bitch is.
I just bought
a new grill
You are not
auditioning for them.
They're auditioning for you.
That's not really how it works.
Yes, it is.
You said no to that other part
so you can get this one.
And if not this part,
then it'll be the next one.
Even on the cloudiest day,
the sun is also above you
in the sky somewhere.
You got some pretty words,
Emmanuel.
Thank you, Quinn.
I'm on a high ♪
They on a low ♪
You killin' my vibe ♪
Get out my zone ♪
Said I'm on a high ♪
They on a low ♪
You killin' my vibe ♪
Get out my zone
Wait! I didn't get your number.
Fuck.
What do you bring to tea?
I mean, if I bring flowers,
is it gonna seem
like I feel like
we're on a date?
I just want her to like me.
She's Black. You're Black.
She has to like you.
- That's the rule.
- Is it?
Because there's definitely some
Black people we don't like.
Ooh, French cuisine.
- Fuck that noise!
- I mean fuck that noise.
I can't believe
they did this to Ray's.
That was our spot.
It's all white.
That's the new soul?
Oh, yeah. There's definitely
gonna be a protest.
Oh, hell yeah.
There needs to be.
Should we go?
- Uh
- My grandmother is sick.
I can't really be marching.
My knees are bad.
But you should go.
You have a voice, Camille.
And you're really passionate
about this kind of stuff.
Yeah, but I mean, I do my thing
on the intellectual side
with my research and writing.
That's true.
That's true.
I mean, you start
talking in front of a crowd,
the next thing you know,
you're fired.
- I mean, look at Robin.
- I don't know, girl.
I mean, I feel like
Black people are
a little bit more forgiving.
- Um
- Look at Kanye.
He's out here wearing MAGA hats
and then he's ranting
incomprehensibly
about Star Wars
housing for the homeless.
And we still let him
preach in church.
Nah, Quinn.
Black Twitter,
Instagram, NewsOne,
the Breakfast Club,
all of them will drag your ass.
We can't have our girl Camille
canceled
before she even gets started.
Yeah, and I don't want
to be labeled
the Uncle Tom bed-wench who
brought kale to the cookout.
- Ooh, no.
- What's wrong with kale?
Were her parents the only
Black people she grew up with?
No, girl.
You add a little bit of garlic,
some butter, girl,
you add some bacon.
Ah-ha! It's poppin'.
- Bitch, that ain't kale.
- That's greens.
- Is it?
- Yeah.
So it's a work in progress,
but, see, the front
is all Michelle Obama.
Good, strong girl vibes, right?
But spin around,
and the back screams
Hell yes, I'll blow you in
the coat closet before dessert.
Oh, my God, no, I was just
going for a little sexy.
I don't blow in a coat closet
or eat dessert.
Should I put on something else?
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Okay, makeup.
Eye shadow, lipstick.
Does it say future CEO's wife
or basketball wife?
Angie, what's wrong?
I met a guy who gets me.
Like, really gets me.
Oh, my God, honey.
This is amazing.
You deserve a good guy.
Just like my Daniel.
Sure, except my guy's,
like, you know, real.
Bitch, Daniel is real.
He is video-verified.
Until he's not.
Please, just support me.
I do. But, girl, come on.
Your dates are
never just dates.
They always come
with some fucking
weird asterisks or caveat.
I know!
And I hate it, okay?
God, I just want simple.
I just want sweet.
I have been looking for love,
real love, for so long.
And it has to be my turn.
Universe, hear me manifest.
Daniel is the one.
Okay. Daniel is the one.
Maybe my guy is too.
If I ever find him.
Why wouldn't you find him?
'Cause he was a driver
in a subway
subway driver.
And he was an artist also,
like me.
And we vibed so hard.
And now I am kicking myself
for not getting his number
before he drove
I stepped off the train.
Girl, so?
You know the train.
Go back to that train again
and again
and again until you find him.
Oh, my God!
This is like a real meet-cute,
like out of a Kate Hudson film
or something.
I don't know who that is,
but it sounds lovely.
Thank you, Quinny.
Girl, go find your man.
Go find him.
- And you claim yours.
- I will.
Oh wait, hold up.
Makeup?
Yes to the eyes.
Hard no for the lips.
Yeah. I can do that.
Tap, tap, tap in ♪
Wrist on glitter,
waist on thinner ♪
I'ma show you how to bag
Come on, Emmanuel.
See me.
Cancel.
Request.
Cancel.
Request.
Okay, this is the one.
Come on, God.
Work with me.
Bring me Emmanuel.
End up on the Dateline ♪
Fuck no.
Request.
Cancel.
Request.
Cancel.
I just want love too!
Okay, request.
Come on, Emmanuel.
Come on, Emmanuel.
Cancel.
Oh, maybe.
No.
- Professor Parks.
- Nora. Hi.
What what are you doing here?
Dr. Pruitt wanted someone
to show her around campus,
and I guess they were like,
"Nora Longbone because
she's always available,"
because I don't have a life.
- Oh.
- Anyways,
she sent me the e-vite
as a thank-you.
- There was an e-vite?
- Mm-hmm.
This place is so cool.
The bathroom has
a porcelain bidet.
Um, do you think
she actually uses it?
Or is it just for show?
I have no idea, Nora.
Excuse me.
My appointment
here at Columbia
could not have come
at a better time.
You know, I've just started
a new project
involving the thriving
free Black settlement
that was destroyed in 1850s
to make room for Central Park.
Oh, Seneca Village.
That is so interesting,
Dr. Pruitt.
Enlighten me.
Camille.
Cam Camille Parks.
We met met this morning.
Ah, yes.
The one that loves to tweet.
I actually did
my thesis on gentrification.
And Seneca Village
could be considered
one of the first gentrified
Black urban sites in New York.
So if you are looking
for a research assistant
Then I am available
to start ASAP.
Okay.
Well, thank you both.
It's just, as the other
Black woman in the department,
um, it's such a such
a personal subject to me
Exactly, Camille,
and when I think
of the sacrifice
my people made in this city
- Aren't you from Oklahoma?
- I'm Lenape.
My people were forced
to relocate
from New York to Oklahoma.
We truly thank you
for your ancestors' sacrifice.
You know, recently,
I did a 23andMe
and discovered
I'm 3.6% Japanese.
I used to wonder
why I gravitated
toward sushi and calligraphy.
And it all made sense.
Really gives new meaning
to the word "Caucasian."
That's a lot to unpack.
Right?
It's crazy.
I heard you have a bidet.
Thank you so much
for coming back.
Okay.
I thought we covered everything
pretty well
the last time I was here.
No. Get your
little recorder thing out.
I want this on record.
Mm-hmm.
Okay, so your "fetish" argument
doesn't work in the reverse.
This may come as a shocker,
but as a white woman
on a dating app,
you're not a part
of the vulnerable class.
You're actually the most
highly desired and sought-after
of all ethnic groups,
straight or queer.
And regardless
of who I may sleep with
or have relationships with,
this app is necessary
for the thousands of people
who want to date
without having to explain why.
Today people still
shouldn't be wearing blackface
on Halloween or answering
ignorant-ass messages
from people who just "have such
a thing for Black women."
Now, off the record,
you're the one who left
in the middle of the night.
You didn't text.
And you ate
my beef and broccoli.
I don't know which one
I'm more upset about.
Still off the record,
I didn't think we needed
to pretend it was
anything more than it was.
You weren't exactly sending
"let's do this again" vibes.
Now, on the record,
you're absolutely right.
Your app is necessary.
But I'm a journalist.
And it's my job
to ask the tough questions.
Like, might you be willing
to let this non-POC woman
take you out?
Off the record.
On a date.
What?
Well, at the very least,
I owe you a beef and broccoli.
That, you do.
Ah, you must be Quinn.
Daniel's expecting you.
Please come in.
Oh. Um, are are we
are we having dinner here?
Yes, food is provided.
Perfect timing, Quinn.
We're just getting started.
Help yourself
to a lobster roll.
Okay.
Now, what if I told you
that in just one year,
you could all own
a Park Avenue penthouse?
Well, when you sign up to be
an Herbal Wonderkind sales rep,
you are taking a step closer
to that dream.
- Thank you, Pam.
- You're welcome, Daniel.
- Isn't this exciting, ladies?
- Oh, my God.
Are you fucking kidding me?
A pyramid scheme?
Does the date happen
after this?
Oh, sweetie.
Dr. Pruitt.
Before I go,
I just wanted to say
I'm so very happy
that you're here.
You know, honestly,
this is my first opportunity
to work with a Black woman
since I got here six years ago.
To have someone like you
mentor me,
I mean, someone who really
understands my struggle, girl?
Enlighten me, Camille.
You tweet witty barbs
about injustice all day long.
What struggle?
- Um, well, I
- It's a rhetorical question.
Yeah, yeah.
It's called social media
for a reason,
'cause it's a great place
for people to come and talk.
But let's be clear:
that's all it is.
Now, if you want
to talk about struggle,
you got to get off your phone
and get out into the field,
because to study culture
is to be in it.
Not to observe it
from the outside
but to actually live in it.
Do you understand
what I'm saying?
Yeah. Yeah.
Good.
Good night.
We have a protest
coming up, actually.
- I mean, I I do.
- By yourself?
No, I am a part
of the GentriWhy movement.
It's a coincidence.
I was thinking that I need
to do more in-person work,
so that's why um, yeah,
that's why it's happening.
Well, great.
And good night.
And I'm giving a speech.
A great speech.
It's gonna be so good.
I hope it goes well.
- This is your coat, right?
- Yeah.
Shh, I'm sleeping.
Oh, my God.
I am so sorry.
It's just that it's Quinn.
Your best friend who managed
to hit an all-time low
in her tragic dating history.
Only to wait for the A-train
for maybe an hour
before they said
it wasn't running.
And then I got ignored by
every single cab on the street.
So I got to enjoy a brisk walk
all the way home
in freezing rain
because my Uber account
has been suspended
due to excessive
cancellation fees.
Would you happen to know
why that is, Angie?
Yes.
But it's your fault
for giving me love advice
from a woman who sells
overpriced yoga pants.
- What?
- Yes, bitch.
I looked her up.
Kate Hudson movies lie.
There is no meet-cute
in real life
for a Brown girl in Manhattan.
Amen.
Oh, good!
Those are the cookies
that I ordered on my walk home.
I thought
you didn't eat dessert.
Bitch, new me.
Just answer the door.
Insomnia cookies.
- Emmanuel!
- Quinn!
Angie?
I thought your name was Quinn.
- What's going on?
- I'll explain later.
How are you here?
Postmates.
I brought your cookies.
It's fate.
I can have a meet-cute too.
I feel like Kate Hudson.
Ooh, Quinn.
It's my poet from Uber.
Okay, great.
Can he get my account unlocked?
Maybe if he unlocks me first.
Never let the money go ♪
I put it in a air lock
- Hoo!
- Fuck!
Oh, that was amazing.
And unexpected.
I just couldn't wait.
So can we go to your place now
and fuck like adults?
Oh, we're here.
I know.
I mean can we go up
to your place
and, you know,
finish what we started?
No, I mean this is my place.
You live in your car?
Like, you live in this car
we've been riding around in
all day?
Like, this is your home?
Well, uh, poetry
doesn't really pay.
And I mean, you get it.
We're artists.
- Jesus.
- We don't chase coin.
We chase inspiration.
Mm, sure.
In theory.
But no, fuck that.
An artist also needs to eat.
We are not the same.
I don't even have a car
to live out of.
Shit!
I have to call that director.
I am doing Get Out.
I fucked up.
I can't do this.
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
Oh, God, please don't
let this get crazy.
The Black man invented food
when we were pharaohs
in Africa.
And now the white man thinks
he can come to Harlem
and teach us how to eat?
- No!
- What in the hotep?
To that, I say, "Why?"
GentriWhy! GentriWhy!
Now I'd like
to turn the mic over
to Miss Dr. Camille Parks
"Miss Doctor"?
who's got a few
educated words to say.
Uh
thank you, DaKwame.
Um, maybe I should clear up
a a few things first.
Uh, all humans ate food.
And, uh, most Black Americans
did not descend from pharaohs.
We are West African.
Uh what else?
Um
did you know that pharaohs
used to marry their sisters?
It was crazy, right?
Um
Sometimes with deceptions
in the name of love,
we can lose ourselves,
forget who we actually are.
If you're here today,
it's because Ray's meant
something to you, to Harlem.
And it meant a lot
because it was ours.
And, for real, we don't have
a lot that's ours.
So when it's gone,
a piece of us goes too.
So I stand here today
not to say "GentriWhy"
but "GentriWho."
Not us. Not anymore.
So stand with me, Harlem,
as we boycott Chalmette
and let them know, not us.
Not anymore.
GentriWho! GentriWho!
GentriWho! GentriWho!
GentriWho!
- Right on, Miss Doctor.
But eventually,
we find our way back
Thank you.
for better or for worse,
to the truth.
- Hi.
- What the fuck, Camille?
- What?
- Come here.
I'm the head chef here.
What the fuck?