Harry Wild (2022) s01e03 Episode Script
Mincemeat
1
Ha ha!
I nearly had it.
Oh Now, listen, pal.
About tomorrow, right? You pay for everything.
Don't let her pay for anything.
No, no, no, no.
- I can't do this.
- Why? I have no money for this.
Oh! - Here.
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- No, no, no.
Because we're friends, right? And that -- that's what friends do for friends.
You are a good man.
This is double Dutch.
Unless Dutch is one of your exam papers, pipe down and concentrate so I can quiz you.
I'm not just here so Glenn can nick my chips.
Oh! What sort of a stupid name for a criminal is Benny Ducks? Does he? He sounds like a cartoon character.
Maybe he became a criminal 'cause people made fun of his name, had to prove himself a hard man.
Well, he's trying very hard.
Lend us a tenner, will you, Harry? I'll pay you back next week.
I've got a super reliable tip on a horse.
It's literally gonna murder all the other horses.
Not literally.
- Oh, it is, I swear.
- What? It's gonna machine gun them all to death? How's it going to get its hoof around the trigger? What are you on about? Oh, I bleedin' hate Emily Bronte! Harry! You're not the first and you won't be the last, but this essay's piss-easy! Listen -- I could've been a jockey, you know? Met that Frankie Dettori once.
He said to me, he said, "Thank Christ, Glenn, that you chose the career you did, because I wouldn't be the winner I am today if I had to compete against the likes of you.
" If I give you a tenner, will you stop talking? Yeah, all right.
So Fergus, we can do this.
Start focusing on that part now.
Help! Help! Help! Come on.
Come on.
Charlie? We have a situation.
Go and check the tags.
Standard search area, 20 feet.
Get someone in that water.
His wallet, sir.
- Anything else, sir? - That is it.
Thanking you.
You okay? Better than him.
I'm sure I've seen him before.
But I don't know where.
His name's John O'Toole.
Ring any bells? He was reported missing by his wife yesterday.
We'll have her I.
D.
him to make sure.
Reckon he's been in the water for a couple of days.
Top himself, did he? Oh, we won't know till get the P.
M.
I've an uncle in Aberystwyth who did that.
Put on his best suit, went and threw himself off the flats.
Through my Aunt Gwyneth was cheating on him with the postman.
Irony was she was having it away with everyone but the postman.
Why was that ironic? Landed on the postman when he jumped.
Are you all right, son? Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely mental, but -- but yeah.
Hi, this is Jacob.
Please leave a message.
I know that couldn't have been easy, Mrs.
O'Toole.
You've been very helpful.
Are you sure there's no one I can call for you? No, no, thank you.
You've been very kind.
Gemma here will drive you home.
I'll be in touch.
- Charlie, Charlie! - Mother, Mother! Look, I can't stop.
I've a squad meeting.
I know who he is.
The dead man, I mean.
We know who is.
John O'Toole.
I'm just back from the morgue.
That was his wife.
Are you saying that she identified him? She did.
Now I've really got -- No, no, no! It -- that can't be John O'Toole.
The man from the river was called Jacob Baklov.
He was delivering these door-to-door a couple of weeks ago.
I got chatting with him.
He asked me if I had any odd jobs.
I said I didn't but I'd bear him in mind.
So he wrote his mobile here on the back.
I called it.
Went straight to voice mail.
He was Polish.
He looked very different when we pulled him out of the river.
- Not dead, you mean? - Oh, don't be facetious! I mean he wasn't wearing a tracksuit.
I mean, but it was the shoes that I remembered.
They were cheap things.
Those shoes, they didn't belong with that suit, and they certainly belong with the tracksuit either.
He's been identified by his wife.
Well, then clearly she's in on it.
If I'd known I was being raised by Columbo In on what? Whatever it is that they're up to, but that was not John O'Toole.
I stood with the wife as she I.
D.
'd him.
She wasn't lying.
Well, clearly she was! Is there something you're not telling me about? Because you're doing that thing, you know, that twitch in your jaw.
What are you on about? Like when I used to go into your room, and you'd pretend you weren't wanking.
Jesus Christ, Harry! Go home! Charlie said his wife I.
D.
'd him, and it's not Jacob.
Well, maybe you were wrong.
- More likely she was lying.
- Oh, of course it is.
And why would she lie? Oh, I don't know.
Insurance scam or something.
Anyway, enough of that.
We are supposed to be talking about "Wuthering Heights.
" Oh, do we have to? I'd rather talk about dead people.
I mean "Wuthering Heights" -- so dull.
Dull? Oh, dear God, have you not got to the part where Heathcliff digs up Cathy's grave just so he can embrace her corpse? - Are you shitting me? - I shit you not.
They reckon the Brontes were virgins, but the passion in their writing, their unbridled lust Yeah, seems a bit creepy.
That need to hold onto someone one last time.
It's almost primal.
And the cruelty in that book.
I always thought that Heathcliff was Earnshaw's bastard, and he just said he was an orphan to pass him off.
I'll look up that bit where he digs her up.
"Wuthering Heights" meets "The Walking Dead," right, Harry? Mincemeat! Operation Mincemeat! It was a British military intelligence operation in World War II.
Yeah.
The army found a tramp who died from rat poisoning or something.
They dressed him as an officer, then they left him off the coast of Spain with a briefcase chained to his arm.
When the Germans got him, they reckoned they'd discovered plans for an Allied landing somewhere in Europe, but the information in the briefcase was a decoy.
The Allies landed elsewhere, fooled the Nazis completely.
There must be a point? What if John O'Toole wants the world to believe that he's dead for some reason.
Maybe it's not an insurance scam.
Maybe someone's after him.
He owes money.
It could be anything.
But then he meets Jacob.
Okay.
- How? - I don't know.
Maybe Jacob knocks on his door, like he did me, and he -- he looks so alike that he realizes that Jacob could pass for him.
Especially after a couple of days in a river.
Exactly! And -- And with the closed coffin and only the wife has seen him.
And we've already established that she's in on it.
No, I'm not sure we did establish that.
You just said it.
I think we should pay a visit to the merry widow tomorrow, pay our respects.
- We don't know where she lives.
- I do.
Driver's license at the pub.
Nice one.
Fingers crossed she doesn't remember me.
What? We passed each other at the Garda station.
Only briefly.
Now you bring this up! Yes? Mrs.
O'Toole? I'm sorry to intrude, but I was there when your husband was found, and I-I want -- oh -- to -- - Whoa.
Ohh - Sorry.
She just wanted to check you're okay.
Maybe if she sits? I was just about to go out.
It's her age.
She gets turns.
Uh J-Just for a moment, then.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, up we get, Nanna.
There we go.
I couldn't stop thinking about you! - Oh - Thanks for doing what you did.
Everyone's been very kind.
Have we met? Oh, no, dear, no.
I I didn't know your husband.
Just I just thought because I was there, it might help to talk.
Oh, no, I don't think.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, no, no.
No, I don't want to bother you.
Oh! Sorry about this.
Would a glass of water help, Gran? Oh, yes, dear.
Sorry, would you mind? No, of course.
Go on.
I'm real sorry about this.
I remember when me granddad died.
God, it was horrible, you know? Everyone coming around, and you had to talk and stuff.
But me granny, I mean, last night she wasn't able to sleep just thinking about you.
Yeah, it's nice you minding her.
I have a daughter your age.
She, uh Oh, shit.
Sorry.
I mean, she must be taking it hard, her dad dying.
John was her stepdad.
Oh.
So is she here? Why? No reason, you know? I could just talk to her, maybe, if you like.
Just someone the same age.
Emma's in boarding school.
Boarding school, Jesus.
Wow, that must have cost a load.
I mean it's rough losing your fella and then having bills, though I suppose if you had insurance it might What did you say your name was? I'm Glenn.
You sure I can't get you a cup of tea, something, anything like that? You need to leave.
I'm feeling so much better now.
I'll pray for you, my dear.
So much better.
I nearly shit meself there.
She did not want to talk to us.
Did you notice there wasn't a single photograph of her husband? - And where's the daughter? - Boarding school.
And John was her stepda, apparently.
Oh, well that explains the name -- Emma Harding, not O'Toole.
Boarding school, that's pretty costly.
- Yeah, I got a photo of her pic.
- Oh.
What's on her blazer? St.
Albina's.
Some fancy school in Wicklow.
She's got public pages on all her social media.
Idiot.
No photos of her ma or her stepda.
Oh, she bleedin' loves hockey.
Big ideas about herself.
We should have a little talk with her.
14-year-olds can be very mouthy about stepfathers.
First, are you hungry? Yeah.
Okay.
There's no chips.
Duch Puszczy.
Moonshine of the forest.
The last time I drank that, I was just a slip of a thing in the company of a very handsome young man.
Do you want lunch? Yes.
Two kotlety schabowy.
And a word with Jacob Baklov, please.
No Jacob here.
You want drink? Jacob Baklov doesn't work here? That's odd.
He said he did.
Well, he was delivering your cards door-to-door.
We pay agency for that.
No Jacob here.
I will bring your tea.
I'm going to go and check out the kitchen.
Make sure that young man at the counter doesn't follow me.
Jacob.
I wish I'd learnt more Polish than the drinks menu.
Plan B -- Emma Harding.
Yeah, and how exactly are we gonna get near a 14-year-old girl in a boarding school? Lola! Your birthday! Fancy going shopping with me tomorrow? We could go into town.
We could have lunch, hit the shops She's meant to be studying.
There is a new boba.
Yeah, but a whole day? Bloody hell! I'm sure even Kim Jong Un allows North Korean kids to take a day off for their birthday.
She has exams.
Next year.
Parental hothousing is the primary cause of suicide in stressed-out teenagers.
- Harry.
- Jesus Christ! All I am saying is just give her a break once in a while.
Otherwise she'll be popping phets to stay up studying.
What? You don't think that happens? It is just one day.
I could -- I could make it up on Sunday.
Oh, I guess one day.
Excellent.
Drop her off at 10:00.
Sure I can't run you in? Oh, we'll be fine.
Call you on our way back.
- Bye now! - Bye, Dad! If we have time, do you think we could go to the National Gallery? Ruby and Oh, this is Fergus.
Fergus, Lola.
A-All right? Why were you in there? Oh, that? Well, your grandmother doesn't like people knowing that she has Black friends, so, uh, she makes me hide.
Twat! So, what I told you yesterday was a ruse.
We are not going out.
We're on a mission.
We're going to go to a boarding school near Wicklow.
There's a pupil there called Emma Harding.
Her stepfather was pulled out of the river a few days ago, but but it wasn't him.
It was another man meant to look like him.
What? Why? Oh, that's what we're going to try and find out.
So we need to get into the school, and we want you to ask Emma about her stepfather.
Yeah, and this is her.
I spoke to the head last night, and I told her that we were in the area and that we would like to see the school.
So you want me to wander around until I find this girl, go up to her, and interrogate her about her not-so-dead stepdad? Of course not! That would be impossible.
Turns out that she's into hockey -- team captain.
So I told the head that you were equally obsessed and that you'd like to meet the captain of the team.
I don't know anything about hockey.
I can't do this.
This isn't me.
Well, then don't be you.
Play a character.
I told them that I'm your governess and I gave the impression that you're from a famous family.
See, this Emma is celeb mad, right? She follows every influencer on the planet.
Which family? We thought you'd be part of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's brood.
They have a lot of kids.
I don't even know any of their names.
- Precisely! - Yeah.
See we thought Zillah Jolie-Pitt'd be the sort of name they'd use.
Like Zillah from "Wuthering Heights"? Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
I love "Wuthering Heights.
" It's one of my favorite books.
Yeah, yeah.
M-Me too.
Can we control our hormones, both of you? Your parents' divorce has stressed you out so much that they're sending you to boarding school for stability.
First things first -- You've got to look the part.
We need to take you shopping.
No way.
You were right.
You pick something.
What? Ahh.
It's a bit pricey.
It's your birthday! I said I'd take you shopping.
What? Well, it's not too late.
Ride doesn't get here for 30 minutes.
Ride? No way.
We've a very balanced philosophy at St.
Albina's.
"Mind is as important as body," we like to say, "and body is as important as the mind.
" Sleep, nutrition, exercise are as integral as the accumulation of knowledge.
So, what do you think Zillah? Ah! This is the captain of our hockey team.
Emma, this is Zillah.
Emma will show you around.
Would you like to come with this way? Are you famous or something? Can you keep a secret? What position do you play? We could do with a defensive fullback.
Um Ah God.
Oh, my God, you guys are never gonna believe this -- one of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids is checking out the school right now.
What? Bullshit.
Are you mum and dad famous? We're not really supposed to say.
You know, paparazzi, right? Are you really coming here? Oh, you have to come! That's so cool! Why'd someone like you come here? One thing's for sure -- She won't have to come here on a scholarship.
Because my parents think I need, like, stability.
Just because I borrowed one of my mom's cars.
I mean, she's got like seven of them.
- You can drive? - Of course.
Everyone in the States can drive.
It's easy.
It might not be so bad to come here.
My mom's seeing this guy.
He's a total douche.
I just -- I don't want to have to deal with, like, stepparents.
- You know what I mean? - Ugh! Stepparents are the worst.
I thought you said we shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
Oh, my God! Who's dead? My stepdad.
No big loss, trust me.
Wow, really? How come you didn't like him? Ah, there you are girls.
I do hope everyone's been looking after you, Zillah.
Emma needs to hurry on now.
Hockey team's got an away game this afternoon.
Come on, ladies.
Minibus is waiting.
I really hope you come here.
Aw, shoot! I totally left my phone back there.
I'll be right back.
Oh! There is one rather sensitive issue we need to discuss, Miss Hastings.
Zillah's parents will insist on a thorough background check of all the girls and the staff.
If there is anything questionable that may come up, it might be best to flag it now.
Absolutely not.
The staff go through the most rigorous vetting.
Oh.
And the girls? - Hey.
- Hey! I thought you left.
Thought I'd have a snoop around.
I couldn't really get a feel for the place with that Emma girl.
She was a little OTT, if you know what I mean.
Tell me about it.
There was something kind of off about her.
I couldn't quite put my digits on it, though.
My mom always says to, like, trust my instincts.
Yep, your mum's right.
Oh, but your mum's Angelina Jolie.
Sorry, I just thought about that.
So, uh, she's, like, right about Emma, then? Look, I don't know if I should really say.
Whatever.
Well, look, it's just She doesn't really belong here.
Really? How come? Emma's stepfather's a criminal.
I thought you didn't get anything from Emma.
I didn't.
This is from another girl, Sadie.
Emma was really bitchy to her, so she was only too happy to spill the tea.
So that's why you went back? I was too busy trying to get over you going all Calamity Jane on us.
- Who? - Just forget it.
She does that.
Emma didn't like her stepdad at all.
Sadie said he knew a lot of really dodgy people.
One of his friends had just gone to prison for a bank robbery, apparently.
Bank robbery? The paper -- There was a story about a bank robbery.
Yeah, there was a bank job in Blanchardstown.
Benny Ducks -- weird name -- is awaiting trial.
Guards are looking for the rest of the gang and the loot.
So it wasn't an insurance job.
O'Toole's a bank robber.
He He staged his own bloody murder because he's a wanted man! Oh, is that your birthday present? It's lovely.
I've had the best day.
Oh.
Thank you, Granny.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
Sorry.
I-I didn't mean to scare you.
Nowak's? - So you got my message? - Yes.
Who's Jacob to you? Family? He has no family.
We know him in the café.
He does odd jobs for us.
He hasn't been in for a while.
I'm seriously worried.
Is he in trouble? I think you should come inside.
I cannot believe.
Jacob was one of life's good guys, you know? Always helping people.
Can you tell me about him? He wanted to be a dog trainer.
Like, greyhounds.
- Greyhounds? - Yeah.
Last time I saw him, he told me that he was going to, uh, how do you say that? That he was going to buy a leg in one.
What does that mean? That he was going to be a part-owner with other people.
Ah.
What other people? I don't know.
I think with people that he met at the greyhound track.
Did he mention any names? Yes.
There was one man.
- His name was - Was it John O'Toole? No, no, no.
No, it was "Vi-taker.
" "Vi-taker"? - No, "Vee-taker"? - "Vi-taker"? - Whittaker? - Whittaker! Exactly! And he had something to do with the dogs houses, where -- where the dogs live.
- The kennels.
- Exactly.
The kennels.
Mr.
Whittaker? I'm the new assistant.
Your man at the office told me to come down here.
- What man? - With the glasses? - Kevin? - Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one.
Nice of him to tell me.
Fine.
Well, come on, then! Make yourself useful.
So this here is Mamma-Jamma, a 76-pounder.
Chases hard -- no nerves.
Averages a 2.
6 split out of the boxes.
Are you scared of? What the bloody hell are you doing here if you're scared of feckin' dogs? - Me neighbor said it'd help.
- Well, it doesn't help me.
I've no time to hold your hand.
Please.
It's me grandda.
He's going blind, and he needs a guide dog, so I have to get over this.
That's a nice thing for a lad to do for his grandda, I suppose.
My neighbor said the same thing.
Jacob.
Jacob Baklov.
Do you know him? He knows dogs.
I haven't seen him around recently.
Said he was gonna buy a leg in a dog.
Ha.
Bollocks.
Pipe dreams.
Jacob hasn't two pennies to rub together.
Said a friend was gonna help him.
John something or other.
O'Toole I think it was.
John O'Toole.
Maybe.
He was always John's little lackey, running around after him.
But he's right out of luck.
John O'Toole is dead.
So he did know John? Yeah.
You just told me that.
What did you say your name was? Huh?! You know what? Grandda can use a stick.
Bleedin' hate these things.
Feckin' kids, eh? Come to daddy.
- Charlie's not here.
- No, no.
I was looking for you.
John O'Toole isn't dead.
He was on that bank job.
The one you got Benny Ducks for? And he's murdered a man called Jacob Baklov.
Jacob bore a ballpark resemblance to O'Toole, who he knew from the dog track, so O'Toole dressed him in one of his suits, got him drunk, bashed on the back of the head, put his wallet in his jacket so he'd be identified as him, and then threw him into the river.
Why did he kill this, um, Jacob? Baklov.
Because he needed the world to think that he was dead.
Jacob was Polish, you know, had no family, no one to miss him.
Just before he died, he thought he was going to come into some money.
I think O'Toole promised him something -- I'm not sure what -- but he said that it would pay enough for him to buy into a greyhound.
The papers said that Benny Ducks hasn't revealed who his accomplices are yet, but he could at any time, right? Cut a deal? Isn't that what they say? So O'Toole could be anywhere by now.
No, I don't think he is.
And his wife's in on it too.
She had to identify Jacob as her husband.
Papers also said that the loot has never been recovered.
How well do you remember your World War II history? Ah I watched "Band of Brothers.
" Ever heard of Operation Mincemeat? What class did you miss? English.
Don't care.
Already gave in my essay on "Wuthering Heights.
" Not sure I want to see what I get.
Well, did you write about what we discussed? Heathcliff's passion? Yeah, yeah, all that bollocks and more.
Everything you said.
- You're going to get an A.
- Right.
So what's the plan? Well If John O'Toole isn't dead, that means that he's hiding, right? So his wife will lead us to him.
How do we get her to do that? We just have to give her a little nudge in the right direction.
Who's that? A nudge.
He's telling her that he's looking for his friend Jacob.
She's telling him that she doesn't know who he's talking about.
Now he's saying that Jacob said that if he disappeared, he was to call the guards because John O'Toole would be responsible.
Piss off! She's saying, "Piss off.
" Ohh, Charlie is mad at me again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
- Shall we? - Okay, let's go.
That's Whittaker.
We need to hear what they're saying.
Stay here.
It's only a matter of time, Tom.
Benny's cracked.
Look what he did to my John.
Benny's locked up, Lou.
How'd he kill your John if he's in prison, eh? Don't be so simple.
You know all it'd take is a phone call.
Yeah, I do know, and it would've been me he'd phone.
- And he didn't.
- So, what does that tell you? You'd better come inside.
We were wrong.
They're not hiding out so they can run.
Whittaker's the third member of Benny Ducks' team.
He has the money.
Change of plan.
Glenn.
- What's happening? - Harry's starving me to death.
We're on a stakeout.
Yeah, a stakeout with no provisions.
Jesus! You got any food in the glove compartment, Glenn? Crisps? Chocolate? An old potato? - Sorry, pal.
- Ohh! Ay ay.
Tail him, Glenn.
Born for this moment, I was, and I'll tell you for why -- I did a course on evasive driving once.
Ha ha! I can teach that fellow a thing or two.
Look at him indicating.
He should just turn, not tell us where he's going.
But he is going, Glenn, and we need to go after him.
Oh, yeah.
Right you are.
Come on! What have I done to you, eh? She gets nervous.
Ah! Third time lucky.
Ha ha! Oh! We're going the wrong way, Glenn! Wait here, Glenn.
Okay, but I have to keep the meter running.
I'm joking! Just a few quid for the petrol.
Bloody head cases.
Hello, Tom.
Good to see you.
John.
But you're -- you're dead! Yeah.
And yet here I am, like the ghost of fucking Christmas past.
What's in the bags, Tom? Hmm? Any chance it's that loot you hid without telling me? We should do something.
No, that's a job for the guards.
I'm going to call in right now.
- What?! - Shh.
Shh, shh, shh.
You had her under surveillance? Yeah, her, Whittaker, and you pair of bloody idiots.
If you had answered your phone you would've known.
You should've come to me.
Off him, O'Toole! Off him! Hands in the air! Hands in the air! Get off him! Hands up! Get down! Face the vehicle! Face the vehicle! Get on him.
Any weapons? Pat 'em down, get 'em in.
I guess there's nothing more to see, then.
Good riddance.
I did it! English teacher gave me mate my essay.
I got a B! You were robbed.
That's brilliant.
Can't do better than that.
Yes, you can.
Oh, yeah.
You here to read me the riot act? On the contrary.
You helped us solve two cases today.
One of those going begging? Oh And they all spilled their guts in the end.
No such thing as loyalty among thieves.
So poor Jacob was just a patsy.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Evil shits, the lot of them.
You know, Jacob was actually a decent bloke.
Well, at least we got justice for him.
And that is down to you.
Oh, feel free to tell Charlie that.
Look, his pride is dented because you didn't go to him, but he appreciates this as well.
And why did you come to me? Because you seem to be a smart man.
Charlie's smart too but he's my son, and, uh, I wouldn't want this to become a thing between us.
But you're happy for there to be a thing between us? You probably should go home to your wife.
Yeah.
Actually we're supposed to be at a boring reception for the top brass about now.
In truth, I don't think Vivian would even realize if I wasn't there.
Our marriage is over.
I see.
Oh Now, listen, pal.
About tomorrow, right? You pay for everything.
Don't let her pay for anything.
No, no, no, no.
- I can't do this.
- Why? I have no money for this.
Oh! - Here.
- Yeah, no, no, no.
- Yes, yes, yes.
- No, no, no.
Because we're friends, right? And that -- that's what friends do for friends.
You are a good man.
This is double Dutch.
Unless Dutch is one of your exam papers, pipe down and concentrate so I can quiz you.
I'm not just here so Glenn can nick my chips.
Oh! What sort of a stupid name for a criminal is Benny Ducks? Does he? He sounds like a cartoon character.
Maybe he became a criminal 'cause people made fun of his name, had to prove himself a hard man.
Well, he's trying very hard.
Lend us a tenner, will you, Harry? I'll pay you back next week.
I've got a super reliable tip on a horse.
It's literally gonna murder all the other horses.
Not literally.
- Oh, it is, I swear.
- What? It's gonna machine gun them all to death? How's it going to get its hoof around the trigger? What are you on about? Oh, I bleedin' hate Emily Bronte! Harry! You're not the first and you won't be the last, but this essay's piss-easy! Listen -- I could've been a jockey, you know? Met that Frankie Dettori once.
He said to me, he said, "Thank Christ, Glenn, that you chose the career you did, because I wouldn't be the winner I am today if I had to compete against the likes of you.
" If I give you a tenner, will you stop talking? Yeah, all right.
So Fergus, we can do this.
Start focusing on that part now.
Help! Help! Help! Come on.
Come on.
Charlie? We have a situation.
Go and check the tags.
Standard search area, 20 feet.
Get someone in that water.
His wallet, sir.
- Anything else, sir? - That is it.
Thanking you.
You okay? Better than him.
I'm sure I've seen him before.
But I don't know where.
His name's John O'Toole.
Ring any bells? He was reported missing by his wife yesterday.
We'll have her I.
D.
him to make sure.
Reckon he's been in the water for a couple of days.
Top himself, did he? Oh, we won't know till get the P.
M.
I've an uncle in Aberystwyth who did that.
Put on his best suit, went and threw himself off the flats.
Through my Aunt Gwyneth was cheating on him with the postman.
Irony was she was having it away with everyone but the postman.
Why was that ironic? Landed on the postman when he jumped.
Are you all right, son? Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely mental, but -- but yeah.
Hi, this is Jacob.
Please leave a message.
I know that couldn't have been easy, Mrs.
O'Toole.
You've been very helpful.
Are you sure there's no one I can call for you? No, no, thank you.
You've been very kind.
Gemma here will drive you home.
I'll be in touch.
- Charlie, Charlie! - Mother, Mother! Look, I can't stop.
I've a squad meeting.
I know who he is.
The dead man, I mean.
We know who is.
John O'Toole.
I'm just back from the morgue.
That was his wife.
Are you saying that she identified him? She did.
Now I've really got -- No, no, no! It -- that can't be John O'Toole.
The man from the river was called Jacob Baklov.
He was delivering these door-to-door a couple of weeks ago.
I got chatting with him.
He asked me if I had any odd jobs.
I said I didn't but I'd bear him in mind.
So he wrote his mobile here on the back.
I called it.
Went straight to voice mail.
He was Polish.
He looked very different when we pulled him out of the river.
- Not dead, you mean? - Oh, don't be facetious! I mean he wasn't wearing a tracksuit.
I mean, but it was the shoes that I remembered.
They were cheap things.
Those shoes, they didn't belong with that suit, and they certainly belong with the tracksuit either.
He's been identified by his wife.
Well, then clearly she's in on it.
If I'd known I was being raised by Columbo In on what? Whatever it is that they're up to, but that was not John O'Toole.
I stood with the wife as she I.
D.
'd him.
She wasn't lying.
Well, clearly she was! Is there something you're not telling me about? Because you're doing that thing, you know, that twitch in your jaw.
What are you on about? Like when I used to go into your room, and you'd pretend you weren't wanking.
Jesus Christ, Harry! Go home! Charlie said his wife I.
D.
'd him, and it's not Jacob.
Well, maybe you were wrong.
- More likely she was lying.
- Oh, of course it is.
And why would she lie? Oh, I don't know.
Insurance scam or something.
Anyway, enough of that.
We are supposed to be talking about "Wuthering Heights.
" Oh, do we have to? I'd rather talk about dead people.
I mean "Wuthering Heights" -- so dull.
Dull? Oh, dear God, have you not got to the part where Heathcliff digs up Cathy's grave just so he can embrace her corpse? - Are you shitting me? - I shit you not.
They reckon the Brontes were virgins, but the passion in their writing, their unbridled lust Yeah, seems a bit creepy.
That need to hold onto someone one last time.
It's almost primal.
And the cruelty in that book.
I always thought that Heathcliff was Earnshaw's bastard, and he just said he was an orphan to pass him off.
I'll look up that bit where he digs her up.
"Wuthering Heights" meets "The Walking Dead," right, Harry? Mincemeat! Operation Mincemeat! It was a British military intelligence operation in World War II.
Yeah.
The army found a tramp who died from rat poisoning or something.
They dressed him as an officer, then they left him off the coast of Spain with a briefcase chained to his arm.
When the Germans got him, they reckoned they'd discovered plans for an Allied landing somewhere in Europe, but the information in the briefcase was a decoy.
The Allies landed elsewhere, fooled the Nazis completely.
There must be a point? What if John O'Toole wants the world to believe that he's dead for some reason.
Maybe it's not an insurance scam.
Maybe someone's after him.
He owes money.
It could be anything.
But then he meets Jacob.
Okay.
- How? - I don't know.
Maybe Jacob knocks on his door, like he did me, and he -- he looks so alike that he realizes that Jacob could pass for him.
Especially after a couple of days in a river.
Exactly! And -- And with the closed coffin and only the wife has seen him.
And we've already established that she's in on it.
No, I'm not sure we did establish that.
You just said it.
I think we should pay a visit to the merry widow tomorrow, pay our respects.
- We don't know where she lives.
- I do.
Driver's license at the pub.
Nice one.
Fingers crossed she doesn't remember me.
What? We passed each other at the Garda station.
Only briefly.
Now you bring this up! Yes? Mrs.
O'Toole? I'm sorry to intrude, but I was there when your husband was found, and I-I want -- oh -- to -- - Whoa.
Ohh - Sorry.
She just wanted to check you're okay.
Maybe if she sits? I was just about to go out.
It's her age.
She gets turns.
Uh J-Just for a moment, then.
Thank you.
Oh, thank you.
Okay, up we get, Nanna.
There we go.
I couldn't stop thinking about you! - Oh - Thanks for doing what you did.
Everyone's been very kind.
Have we met? Oh, no, dear, no.
I I didn't know your husband.
Just I just thought because I was there, it might help to talk.
Oh, no, I don't think.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, no, no.
No, I don't want to bother you.
Oh! Sorry about this.
Would a glass of water help, Gran? Oh, yes, dear.
Sorry, would you mind? No, of course.
Go on.
I'm real sorry about this.
I remember when me granddad died.
God, it was horrible, you know? Everyone coming around, and you had to talk and stuff.
But me granny, I mean, last night she wasn't able to sleep just thinking about you.
Yeah, it's nice you minding her.
I have a daughter your age.
She, uh Oh, shit.
Sorry.
I mean, she must be taking it hard, her dad dying.
John was her stepdad.
Oh.
So is she here? Why? No reason, you know? I could just talk to her, maybe, if you like.
Just someone the same age.
Emma's in boarding school.
Boarding school, Jesus.
Wow, that must have cost a load.
I mean it's rough losing your fella and then having bills, though I suppose if you had insurance it might What did you say your name was? I'm Glenn.
You sure I can't get you a cup of tea, something, anything like that? You need to leave.
I'm feeling so much better now.
I'll pray for you, my dear.
So much better.
I nearly shit meself there.
She did not want to talk to us.
Did you notice there wasn't a single photograph of her husband? - And where's the daughter? - Boarding school.
And John was her stepda, apparently.
Oh, well that explains the name -- Emma Harding, not O'Toole.
Boarding school, that's pretty costly.
- Yeah, I got a photo of her pic.
- Oh.
What's on her blazer? St.
Albina's.
Some fancy school in Wicklow.
She's got public pages on all her social media.
Idiot.
No photos of her ma or her stepda.
Oh, she bleedin' loves hockey.
Big ideas about herself.
We should have a little talk with her.
14-year-olds can be very mouthy about stepfathers.
First, are you hungry? Yeah.
Okay.
There's no chips.
Duch Puszczy.
Moonshine of the forest.
The last time I drank that, I was just a slip of a thing in the company of a very handsome young man.
Do you want lunch? Yes.
Two kotlety schabowy.
And a word with Jacob Baklov, please.
No Jacob here.
You want drink? Jacob Baklov doesn't work here? That's odd.
He said he did.
Well, he was delivering your cards door-to-door.
We pay agency for that.
No Jacob here.
I will bring your tea.
I'm going to go and check out the kitchen.
Make sure that young man at the counter doesn't follow me.
Jacob.
I wish I'd learnt more Polish than the drinks menu.
Plan B -- Emma Harding.
Yeah, and how exactly are we gonna get near a 14-year-old girl in a boarding school? Lola! Your birthday! Fancy going shopping with me tomorrow? We could go into town.
We could have lunch, hit the shops She's meant to be studying.
There is a new boba.
Yeah, but a whole day? Bloody hell! I'm sure even Kim Jong Un allows North Korean kids to take a day off for their birthday.
She has exams.
Next year.
Parental hothousing is the primary cause of suicide in stressed-out teenagers.
- Harry.
- Jesus Christ! All I am saying is just give her a break once in a while.
Otherwise she'll be popping phets to stay up studying.
What? You don't think that happens? It is just one day.
I could -- I could make it up on Sunday.
Oh, I guess one day.
Excellent.
Drop her off at 10:00.
Sure I can't run you in? Oh, we'll be fine.
Call you on our way back.
- Bye now! - Bye, Dad! If we have time, do you think we could go to the National Gallery? Ruby and Oh, this is Fergus.
Fergus, Lola.
A-All right? Why were you in there? Oh, that? Well, your grandmother doesn't like people knowing that she has Black friends, so, uh, she makes me hide.
Twat! So, what I told you yesterday was a ruse.
We are not going out.
We're on a mission.
We're going to go to a boarding school near Wicklow.
There's a pupil there called Emma Harding.
Her stepfather was pulled out of the river a few days ago, but but it wasn't him.
It was another man meant to look like him.
What? Why? Oh, that's what we're going to try and find out.
So we need to get into the school, and we want you to ask Emma about her stepfather.
Yeah, and this is her.
I spoke to the head last night, and I told her that we were in the area and that we would like to see the school.
So you want me to wander around until I find this girl, go up to her, and interrogate her about her not-so-dead stepdad? Of course not! That would be impossible.
Turns out that she's into hockey -- team captain.
So I told the head that you were equally obsessed and that you'd like to meet the captain of the team.
I don't know anything about hockey.
I can't do this.
This isn't me.
Well, then don't be you.
Play a character.
I told them that I'm your governess and I gave the impression that you're from a famous family.
See, this Emma is celeb mad, right? She follows every influencer on the planet.
Which family? We thought you'd be part of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's brood.
They have a lot of kids.
I don't even know any of their names.
- Precisely! - Yeah.
See we thought Zillah Jolie-Pitt'd be the sort of name they'd use.
Like Zillah from "Wuthering Heights"? Yeah.
Yeah, that's right.
I love "Wuthering Heights.
" It's one of my favorite books.
Yeah, yeah.
M-Me too.
Can we control our hormones, both of you? Your parents' divorce has stressed you out so much that they're sending you to boarding school for stability.
First things first -- You've got to look the part.
We need to take you shopping.
No way.
You were right.
You pick something.
What? Ahh.
It's a bit pricey.
It's your birthday! I said I'd take you shopping.
What? Well, it's not too late.
Ride doesn't get here for 30 minutes.
Ride? No way.
We've a very balanced philosophy at St.
Albina's.
"Mind is as important as body," we like to say, "and body is as important as the mind.
" Sleep, nutrition, exercise are as integral as the accumulation of knowledge.
So, what do you think Zillah? Ah! This is the captain of our hockey team.
Emma, this is Zillah.
Emma will show you around.
Would you like to come with this way? Are you famous or something? Can you keep a secret? What position do you play? We could do with a defensive fullback.
Um Ah God.
Oh, my God, you guys are never gonna believe this -- one of Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's kids is checking out the school right now.
What? Bullshit.
Are you mum and dad famous? We're not really supposed to say.
You know, paparazzi, right? Are you really coming here? Oh, you have to come! That's so cool! Why'd someone like you come here? One thing's for sure -- She won't have to come here on a scholarship.
Because my parents think I need, like, stability.
Just because I borrowed one of my mom's cars.
I mean, she's got like seven of them.
- You can drive? - Of course.
Everyone in the States can drive.
It's easy.
It might not be so bad to come here.
My mom's seeing this guy.
He's a total douche.
I just -- I don't want to have to deal with, like, stepparents.
- You know what I mean? - Ugh! Stepparents are the worst.
I thought you said we shouldn't speak ill of the dead.
Oh, my God! Who's dead? My stepdad.
No big loss, trust me.
Wow, really? How come you didn't like him? Ah, there you are girls.
I do hope everyone's been looking after you, Zillah.
Emma needs to hurry on now.
Hockey team's got an away game this afternoon.
Come on, ladies.
Minibus is waiting.
I really hope you come here.
Aw, shoot! I totally left my phone back there.
I'll be right back.
Oh! There is one rather sensitive issue we need to discuss, Miss Hastings.
Zillah's parents will insist on a thorough background check of all the girls and the staff.
If there is anything questionable that may come up, it might be best to flag it now.
Absolutely not.
The staff go through the most rigorous vetting.
Oh.
And the girls? - Hey.
- Hey! I thought you left.
Thought I'd have a snoop around.
I couldn't really get a feel for the place with that Emma girl.
She was a little OTT, if you know what I mean.
Tell me about it.
There was something kind of off about her.
I couldn't quite put my digits on it, though.
My mom always says to, like, trust my instincts.
Yep, your mum's right.
Oh, but your mum's Angelina Jolie.
Sorry, I just thought about that.
So, uh, she's, like, right about Emma, then? Look, I don't know if I should really say.
Whatever.
Well, look, it's just She doesn't really belong here.
Really? How come? Emma's stepfather's a criminal.
I thought you didn't get anything from Emma.
I didn't.
This is from another girl, Sadie.
Emma was really bitchy to her, so she was only too happy to spill the tea.
So that's why you went back? I was too busy trying to get over you going all Calamity Jane on us.
- Who? - Just forget it.
She does that.
Emma didn't like her stepdad at all.
Sadie said he knew a lot of really dodgy people.
One of his friends had just gone to prison for a bank robbery, apparently.
Bank robbery? The paper -- There was a story about a bank robbery.
Yeah, there was a bank job in Blanchardstown.
Benny Ducks -- weird name -- is awaiting trial.
Guards are looking for the rest of the gang and the loot.
So it wasn't an insurance job.
O'Toole's a bank robber.
He He staged his own bloody murder because he's a wanted man! Oh, is that your birthday present? It's lovely.
I've had the best day.
Oh.
Thank you, Granny.
You're welcome, sweetheart.
Sorry.
I-I didn't mean to scare you.
Nowak's? - So you got my message? - Yes.
Who's Jacob to you? Family? He has no family.
We know him in the café.
He does odd jobs for us.
He hasn't been in for a while.
I'm seriously worried.
Is he in trouble? I think you should come inside.
I cannot believe.
Jacob was one of life's good guys, you know? Always helping people.
Can you tell me about him? He wanted to be a dog trainer.
Like, greyhounds.
- Greyhounds? - Yeah.
Last time I saw him, he told me that he was going to, uh, how do you say that? That he was going to buy a leg in one.
What does that mean? That he was going to be a part-owner with other people.
Ah.
What other people? I don't know.
I think with people that he met at the greyhound track.
Did he mention any names? Yes.
There was one man.
- His name was - Was it John O'Toole? No, no, no.
No, it was "Vi-taker.
" "Vi-taker"? - No, "Vee-taker"? - "Vi-taker"? - Whittaker? - Whittaker! Exactly! And he had something to do with the dogs houses, where -- where the dogs live.
- The kennels.
- Exactly.
The kennels.
Mr.
Whittaker? I'm the new assistant.
Your man at the office told me to come down here.
- What man? - With the glasses? - Kevin? - Yeah.
Yeah, that's the one.
Nice of him to tell me.
Fine.
Well, come on, then! Make yourself useful.
So this here is Mamma-Jamma, a 76-pounder.
Chases hard -- no nerves.
Averages a 2.
6 split out of the boxes.
Are you scared of? What the bloody hell are you doing here if you're scared of feckin' dogs? - Me neighbor said it'd help.
- Well, it doesn't help me.
I've no time to hold your hand.
Please.
It's me grandda.
He's going blind, and he needs a guide dog, so I have to get over this.
That's a nice thing for a lad to do for his grandda, I suppose.
My neighbor said the same thing.
Jacob.
Jacob Baklov.
Do you know him? He knows dogs.
I haven't seen him around recently.
Said he was gonna buy a leg in a dog.
Ha.
Bollocks.
Pipe dreams.
Jacob hasn't two pennies to rub together.
Said a friend was gonna help him.
John something or other.
O'Toole I think it was.
John O'Toole.
Maybe.
He was always John's little lackey, running around after him.
But he's right out of luck.
John O'Toole is dead.
So he did know John? Yeah.
You just told me that.
What did you say your name was? Huh?! You know what? Grandda can use a stick.
Bleedin' hate these things.
Feckin' kids, eh? Come to daddy.
- Charlie's not here.
- No, no.
I was looking for you.
John O'Toole isn't dead.
He was on that bank job.
The one you got Benny Ducks for? And he's murdered a man called Jacob Baklov.
Jacob bore a ballpark resemblance to O'Toole, who he knew from the dog track, so O'Toole dressed him in one of his suits, got him drunk, bashed on the back of the head, put his wallet in his jacket so he'd be identified as him, and then threw him into the river.
Why did he kill this, um, Jacob? Baklov.
Because he needed the world to think that he was dead.
Jacob was Polish, you know, had no family, no one to miss him.
Just before he died, he thought he was going to come into some money.
I think O'Toole promised him something -- I'm not sure what -- but he said that it would pay enough for him to buy into a greyhound.
The papers said that Benny Ducks hasn't revealed who his accomplices are yet, but he could at any time, right? Cut a deal? Isn't that what they say? So O'Toole could be anywhere by now.
No, I don't think he is.
And his wife's in on it too.
She had to identify Jacob as her husband.
Papers also said that the loot has never been recovered.
How well do you remember your World War II history? Ah I watched "Band of Brothers.
" Ever heard of Operation Mincemeat? What class did you miss? English.
Don't care.
Already gave in my essay on "Wuthering Heights.
" Not sure I want to see what I get.
Well, did you write about what we discussed? Heathcliff's passion? Yeah, yeah, all that bollocks and more.
Everything you said.
- You're going to get an A.
- Right.
So what's the plan? Well If John O'Toole isn't dead, that means that he's hiding, right? So his wife will lead us to him.
How do we get her to do that? We just have to give her a little nudge in the right direction.
Who's that? A nudge.
He's telling her that he's looking for his friend Jacob.
She's telling him that she doesn't know who he's talking about.
Now he's saying that Jacob said that if he disappeared, he was to call the guards because John O'Toole would be responsible.
Piss off! She's saying, "Piss off.
" Ohh, Charlie is mad at me again.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up.
- Shall we? - Okay, let's go.
That's Whittaker.
We need to hear what they're saying.
Stay here.
It's only a matter of time, Tom.
Benny's cracked.
Look what he did to my John.
Benny's locked up, Lou.
How'd he kill your John if he's in prison, eh? Don't be so simple.
You know all it'd take is a phone call.
Yeah, I do know, and it would've been me he'd phone.
- And he didn't.
- So, what does that tell you? You'd better come inside.
We were wrong.
They're not hiding out so they can run.
Whittaker's the third member of Benny Ducks' team.
He has the money.
Change of plan.
Glenn.
- What's happening? - Harry's starving me to death.
We're on a stakeout.
Yeah, a stakeout with no provisions.
Jesus! You got any food in the glove compartment, Glenn? Crisps? Chocolate? An old potato? - Sorry, pal.
- Ohh! Ay ay.
Tail him, Glenn.
Born for this moment, I was, and I'll tell you for why -- I did a course on evasive driving once.
Ha ha! I can teach that fellow a thing or two.
Look at him indicating.
He should just turn, not tell us where he's going.
But he is going, Glenn, and we need to go after him.
Oh, yeah.
Right you are.
Come on! What have I done to you, eh? She gets nervous.
Ah! Third time lucky.
Ha ha! Oh! We're going the wrong way, Glenn! Wait here, Glenn.
Okay, but I have to keep the meter running.
I'm joking! Just a few quid for the petrol.
Bloody head cases.
Hello, Tom.
Good to see you.
John.
But you're -- you're dead! Yeah.
And yet here I am, like the ghost of fucking Christmas past.
What's in the bags, Tom? Hmm? Any chance it's that loot you hid without telling me? We should do something.
No, that's a job for the guards.
I'm going to call in right now.
- What?! - Shh.
Shh, shh, shh.
You had her under surveillance? Yeah, her, Whittaker, and you pair of bloody idiots.
If you had answered your phone you would've known.
You should've come to me.
Off him, O'Toole! Off him! Hands in the air! Hands in the air! Get off him! Hands up! Get down! Face the vehicle! Face the vehicle! Get on him.
Any weapons? Pat 'em down, get 'em in.
I guess there's nothing more to see, then.
Good riddance.
I did it! English teacher gave me mate my essay.
I got a B! You were robbed.
That's brilliant.
Can't do better than that.
Yes, you can.
Oh, yeah.
You here to read me the riot act? On the contrary.
You helped us solve two cases today.
One of those going begging? Oh And they all spilled their guts in the end.
No such thing as loyalty among thieves.
So poor Jacob was just a patsy.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm.
Evil shits, the lot of them.
You know, Jacob was actually a decent bloke.
Well, at least we got justice for him.
And that is down to you.
Oh, feel free to tell Charlie that.
Look, his pride is dented because you didn't go to him, but he appreciates this as well.
And why did you come to me? Because you seem to be a smart man.
Charlie's smart too but he's my son, and, uh, I wouldn't want this to become a thing between us.
But you're happy for there to be a thing between us? You probably should go home to your wife.
Yeah.
Actually we're supposed to be at a boring reception for the top brass about now.
In truth, I don't think Vivian would even realize if I wasn't there.
Our marriage is over.
I see.