Hellcats s01e03 Episode Script
Beale St. After Dark
Mom, what is this? Ýt says my scholarship was canceled.
You're applying for a scholarship? I have one now.
For cheerleading.
Hello, Marti.
Welcome to Cheertown.
Ah, Vanessa.
I'm sure you remember the famous coach Red Raymond.
Just so we're clear, I have a boyfriend.
Things change.
Hi, I'm Vanessa Lodge.
My girlfriend.
Nice to meet you.
Tighten up! I'll miss qualifiers.
Lewis asked Vanessa if he could make you his permanent flyer.
What about alice? Weren't they, like, a thing? The squad comes first.
Hey, savannah, you want to go out with me? Ok, yeah.
âAAª yeah, yeah âAAª âAAª my friends say I'm crazy âAAª âAAª they all try to save me âAAª âAAª there is nothing they can do âAAª You gotta be kidding me.
They work just as hard as the volleyball team.
âAAª not even worth ignoring âAAª âAAª it's just what I'm addicted to âAAª âAAª whoo! âAAª âAAª hey! Hey! âAAª âAAª it's like boom âAAª âAAª hey! Hey! âAAª Whoa.
I bought this for my date with dan.
What does this dress say? "back off.
This is my street corner.
" What? Really? no, I'm kidding.
You look hot.
Why are you asking me, anyways? Well, he's your friend, and I want it to go well.
Believe it or not, I don't get asked out that much.
Well, you'd never know it from your streetwise cool.
Marti, come on.
This is my first secular date.
I'm used to group dates stage-managed by my church.
I'm sorry.
It's just it's weird I mean, you dating dan of all people.
All people? All people what does that even mean? Well, for one thing, he's big and you're little.
I mean, you two could be russian nesting dolls.
But mostly, he's He's a player.
You're not the kind of girl he dates.
What kind of girl does he date? Party girls, hookups.
You're relationship material.
He's not used to that.
Marti, why are you being so negative? Do you have a thing for dan? What? Because if you do, I'll back off.
No.
I don't want to create drama within the squad.
No.
Dan and I are just buds.
I mean, we're friends.
You know? That's it.
Look, I'm just saying manage your expectations.
You know? I know the guy.
Well, thanks for the advice Warning Whatever that was.
Cool.
Get out here now, guys.
Vanessa's calling an emergency meeting.
Gather up, hellcats.
The university is pulling our funding for regionals.
Lewis: What? Why? What? We just qualified.
The girl's volleyball team Also qualified in their league.
The school was paying to send us and not them.
The ladies didn't think that was fair, And they're filing a lawsuit against the school.
I hate them, but that is genius.
The ncaa recognizes volleyball as a sport.
Cheerleading, not so much.
The university is looking to avoid a legal fight, And so they are reallocating our funding to volleyball.
So, we can't move to the next level? We qualified, so we're free to go, Providing that we can figure out how to pay For our away uniforms, entrance fees, travel.
If we foot the bill ourselves, It breaks down to about 10 grand.
Oh, my gosh.
So, that's it? We're done? Oh, we're never done.
We're just moving on to plan "b".
There are 2 ways to get to nationals.
We can go step-by-step through regionals and sectionals, All the way to nationals, building our routines.
OrSince we don't have the money we need, The second option is to submit a bid video Directly to the national organization.
The competition's a lot stiffer.
But if we win a bid, the national organization pays our full freight.
Well, if it's free, why didn't we just do that in the first place? Well, because of you.
Alice It's the truth.
Vanessa is afraid to put an inexperienced flyer like you on video Up against the best stunters in the nation.
Wow.
Ok.
Hey, look, we all have total faith in you, Marti.
And may I remind everyone that if it wasn't for Marti, We would not have won at qualifiers.
Exactly.
Yes.
Marti! Whoo! Whoo! Come on, we all know we're just marking time Until my wrist healed enough for me to come back and take back my rightful spot.
Ok, it sucks to be sidelined with an injury.
I know, and I'm sorry.
But your wrist needs time to heal.
My wrist is fine.
It doesn't even hurt anymore.
If we're shooting a video, you need me on that mat.
You guys, tell her.
Marti: Hey, um, look.
I know this is the worst possible timing, but I can't be late For this seminar again.
Guys, I'm sorry.
Alice, you are a treat as always.
Glad the wrist injury didn't affect your claws.
She's not even a real hellcat.
She is just using us To pay for her law classes.
The sooner I'm back on the mat, the better.
Julian: Oh, ms.
Perkins.
In a court of law, what happens when one party is late? The, um, late party is held in contempt.
That's correct.
But that's not the real punishment.
Does anyone know what the real punishment is? Mr.
Pepper.
The judge and jury, Those who dictate the outcome of your case, They won't take you seriously.
Thank you, Mr.
Pepper.
In the american justice system, Perception is realital Please stop speaking, Mr.
Pepper.
Yes.
Have a seat.
As I was saying, there are Rich ones who rack up the billable hours And those with a soft spot for lost causes The kind of cases no one else is willing to touch And who find themselves teaching at lancer To pay their rent.
Ha! Now, I have taken on yet another lost cause, A man who has been sentenced to life in prison For a minor burglary.
And we are gonna get him out.
So, I need 2 pre-law students to help me With research and interviews and legwork.
So, sign your names for consideration.
You know, harvard and yale law, They love to see those kind of side projects on a transcript.
But beware.
This is not easy.
You will work harder than you ever have.
And if there's any blood, sweat, or tears left at the end, You're not doing it right.
It'll be the worst time of your life.
But it'll also be the best.
So, if you are not serious Do not bother.
Ow, ow, ow.
I'm coming down.
You shouldn't be on your wrist like that.
Let's go again.
I think you guys Should call it a day.
She's right.
I can get this.
I need to be ready for the bid video.
Come on.
Is this really about the bid video? Or is it about lewis? Lewis? No.
You're pushing yourself because you wanna be his flyer again.
ok.
You're talking crap.
Dr.
Derrick is not gonna clear you with a bum wrist.
My wrist is fine.
Ow.
If you can't fool me, how are you gonna fool a doctor? Alice: Hey, jake.
âAAª somehow I can âAAª âAAª get out âAAª Hello, darlin'.
Lewis know you're here? Lewis and I broke up.
Huh.
You know, I never understood what you saw in him, anyway.
What happened between you guys? You used to be all judd apatow for each other, And then one day, boom, you suddenly hate each other's guts.
Yeah, well, he abandoned his team.
He's a traitor.
Nothing much else to say.
Boys and their secrets.
Anyway I need your help.
Mm-hmm.
I have to pass medical.
How long ago did you injure it? A few weeks.
I'm about a month out from unassisted recovery.
I don't have that kind of time.
Ok.
Well, I can get you oxy and vikes for the pain, But you're gonna want hgh as well.
It'll cut the healing time in half, And you can practice in the meantime.
Oh.
What's it gonna cost me? Oh, alice.
I don't know.
Let's meet up later tonight and figure something out.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah? I'll text you and let you know where I'll be.
The third circuit ruled the three strikes law unconstitutional Because it resulted in cruel and unusual punishment.
Butters had already served 6 years Why not just overturn the law? Three strikes laws are political plutonium.
Nobody wants to be accused of going easy on a criminal, So nobody attacks the larger issue That these laws are fundamentally unconstitutional.
You're quoting me.
"university of chicago law review," volume 634.
Look, clearly, you've done your homework.
And I want to thank you for your time.
That's it? Did I do something wrong? Your answers are acceptable, ms.
Perkins.
Your grades are good.
You're solid.
But I need serious and committed students, Not cheerleaders.
The only reason I'm a cheerleader is because I need the scholarship.
I don't care why.
The point is, you're overextended.
I see you sliding into my class at the last minute.
You got bags under your eyes.
Placing you on my team would be an enormous risk.
And this case is too important for that.
A man's freedom is on the line.
I can make the time.
If I have to, I'll cut back on eating, sleeping, and showering.
I promise I will work 24/7, and I will impress you.
I will give you one chance.
It's a side assignment, but you gotta keep it confidential.
All right? Ý don't want your classmates hounding me.
Yeah.
Before our next class, I want you to research "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee" And how it applies to three strikes laws.
Got it? I got it.
And do us all a favor.
Keep on showering.
Boy: Thanks, coach.
Boo.
Are you trying to avoid me? I forgot myWhistle.
So, I just went back in to get it.
Why are you lurking outside my door, anyway? I'm enjoying all the intrigue, The skulking around, whispered conversations in hallways.
Come on.
Remember how much fun nthat used to be? Is this a game for you? Asking derrick and me to have drinks with you, Sending me roses, bringing the football team To cheer for us at qualifiers.
You're the one keeping your boyfriend in the dark about our history.
Not me.
I was a student having an affair With a faculty member A stupid, immature cliché.
I didn't want derrick to think any less of me, So I didn't tell him.
I have another theory.
I think you're not so sure how you feel about me coming back to lancer.
You're keeping your options open.
You're out of your mind.
You always did play hard to get.
This feels like old times.
What do they call that? Déjà vu? Hmm.
I love the french.
They got a name for everything.
Good night.
Good night, coach.
See you tomorrow.
Um, Marti, you busy? Yeah, I'm tearing my hair out.
My professor gave me this case to research.
I've searched lexisnexis, findlaw, law-nex west.
I even called the district courts.
Nothing.
It's like it doesn't exist.
Why? What's up? I need you to call dan.
Tell him I'm sick and I can't go out with him.
What? It's not really a lie.
My stomach's been in knots all day.
I thought you were all excited about the big secular date.
What happened? Everything you said About what a player dan is.
this is because of me? You're probably right.
He's never gonna be attracted to someone like me.
Ok, look.
I have a big mouth, And I don't always pay attention to what comes out of it.
It's healthy for you to get out into the world.
I can't let you blow this off.
It's not your decision.
Well, then let me help you.
But you have to study.
You know what? Ý've hit a wall here, anyways.
A break will do me good.
Now, what can we do to keep you from freaking out? âAAª ooh! âAAª âAAª no, no, no, no âAAª âAAª no, no, no, no-o-o âAAª âAAª ladies, let me see âAAª âAAª your hands up in the air âAAª Hey.
How are you? Hi.
Good.
Good to see you.
âAAª show'em what you got âAAª âAAª shake it all around, shake it all around âAAª âAAª you want a little of this âAAª Hey, guys.
Get the party started.
Yeah.
It's about that time.
âAAª hey, yo, you want a little of this? âAAª âAAª you want a little, wanna little of this? âAAª What's this? âAAª come on âAAª âAAª once you think âAAª brought the whole fam.
All right.
âAAª you can't touch it âAAª You told her I was a player? I'm sorry.
It was a dumb thing to say.
Yeah.
Now I'm on a date with half the squad.
Look, the girl was home-schooled.
Ok? Her parents raised her like veal.
The group thing is how her church used to handle dating.
Well, if the whole gang is expecting me to put out tonight, I'm gonna need a bigger backseat.
All right.
Behave.
And don't hurt savannah.
Who said anything about hurting anybody? It's a simple date.
With cheerleaders, nothing is simple.
hey.
That dress looks really nice on you.
Thanks.
I like your shirt.
It's very blue.
It's a good color, blue.
Do you like colors? I'm a monochrome guy myself.
Uhh.
I'm sorry.
That came out wrong.
It's ok.
I mean, obviously, you'd like colors, right? This is a great bar.
Happening.
That it is.
Ohh.
Come on, savannah.
You're an interesting person.
Lighten up.
This is lame.
Excuse me.
Uh, can you get that girl a hurricane, please? Keep'em coming.
Mm-hmm.
âAAª something like a girl âAAª Hey, doc.
This seat taken? Oh, hey, coach raymond.
Ah, it's all yours.
Call me red.
Where's that pretty little gal of yours? Uh, working dinner.
Trying to get some kind of sponsorship deal for the squad.
Ah, good woman.
Smart.
Guess that means you got time for a beer, then.
Or two.
Or two.
Good.
Bartender, Some medicine for the doctor here.
these are amazing.
You know, I'm not normally much of a drinker.
You gotta careful pounding those hurricanes.
Champagne at weddings, that sort of thing They'll sneak up on you.
Oh.
This one time, I went winetasting with my girlfriend.
And there was an option to spit in a metal bowl, That is disgusting.
So I ended up drinking And it was awesome.
I'm sorry, am I talking too much? Well, I was trying to meditate, but It's ok.
Was that a joke? Absolutely.
It was funny! I really like you, dan.
I think you're really, really funny.
And handsome.
You know, I was so scared that Marti was in love with you Because you're a player and she's really cool and strong And a street dancer, which is kinda scary but sexy.
Do you think Marti's sexy? Ý do.
MmmI wouldn't have come tonight If she hadn't talked me into it.
She's so great and supportive.
Uh, yeah, we're gonna take a walk, Away from the drinks.
You guys want to come? hell to the yes! Whoo! Uh, hands.
Yeah.
Just work it out.
Ahem.
"get that girl a hurricane and keep'em coming.
" Really.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Derrick: Vanessa? Hey.
Hi.
So, guess who I ran into at the pub tonight.
Red raymond.
You did? Oh, I was so slick, Vanessa.
I mean, I was so slick that you actually Would have been really turned on.
Oh, I'm always turned on by you.
Hmm.
Ok, so listen.
I laid down the groundwork to get that open spot For athletic department staff physician.
I mean, you know, I just mentioned it in passing, And he seemed receptive.
Honey So, I'm gonna swing by his office tomorrow.
Derrick Yeah.
Sit.
Please.
There's something I haven't told you.
And I should have been up front from the start, And I'm so sorry.
It sounds serious.
What is it? when I was a student And red was on the coaching staff, We had an affair.
Oh, my god.
The school found out about it and forced him to resign To avoid a big scandal.
That's why red left lancer? Because of you? Vanessa, why did you pretend like you didn't even know this guy? I don't have a good answer.
I basically panicked.
God, I feel like such an idiot Kissing the high king's ring at the pub tonight, Groveling for a job.
I mean, the guy is probably still laughing at me.
He was asking about you, you know.
Does this guy still have feelings for you, Vanessa? It doesn't matter if he does.
Well, that sounds like a yes.
Well, I certainly told him That I'm not interested.
And I'm not.
You know that.
You do know that, right? Why did you feel like you had to lie to me, Vanessa? I was embarrassed.
Ok? We just moved in together.
We're still unpacking, for god's sake.
I want you to see me for who I am now, Not who I was when I was 19.
Well, apparently, you still have no problem deceiving people.
Did that make you feel better? No.
No, it didn't.
I'm, um, I'm gonna go watch "sportscenter" for a while.
Derrick, I love you.
I love you, too.
Look, the tumblers are outside.
Those moves are so cool.
Marti! Dondre.
Dude! How's the tourist take? Good? We're bringing it.
They ain't.
Do you want to help out? What do you guys think? Wanna go for it? What do you say? Whoo! Yeah! Yeah! âAAª whoa! âAAª âAAª another day âAAª âAAª I take your pain away âAAª âAAª some people talk about ya âAAª âAAª like they know all about ya âAAª âAAª when you get down, they doubt ya âAAª âAAª and when you dip it on the scene âAAª âAAª yeah, they talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª'cause they can't dip on the scene âAAª âAAª whatcha talk about it, t- T-t-talkin"bout it âAAª âAAª when you get elevated âAAª âAAª they love it or they hate it âAAª âAAª you dance up on them haters âAAª âAAª keep getting funky on the scene âAAª âAAª while they jumpin' round ya âAAª âAAª they trying to take all of your dreams âAAª âAAª but you can't allow it âAAª âAAª'cause, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª t-t-t-tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª t-t-t-tip âAAª âAAª now let me see you do the tightrope âAAª âAAª yeah! âAAª âAAª yeah! Now shout it out! âAAª âAAª I tip on alligators âAAª âAAª and little rattle snakers âAAª âAAª see, I'm another flavor âAAª âAAª something like a terminator âAAª âAAª ain't no equivocating âAAª âAAª I fight for what I believe âAAª âAAª why you talkin"bout it? âAAª âAAª s-s-she's talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª some callin' me a sinner âAAª âAAª some callin' me a winner âAAª âAAª I'm callin' you to dinner âAAª âAAª and you know exactly what I mean âAAª âAAª yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you âAAª âAAª you can rock or you can leave âAAª âAAª watch me tip without you âAAª âAAª n-n-now, whether I'm high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª yeah, tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª baby, let me see âAAª âAAª you tightrope âAAª âAAª and I'm still tippin' on it âAAª Whoo! She's good.
Who's that with alice? You don't recognize lancer's quarterback? My vision's a little blurry.
One beer.
Come on.
jakey, I think you're adorable.
Mm-hmm.
But I am not gonna hook up with you.
Ohh.
Alice, you're killing me.
And after everything I set you up with? Lewis wouldn't like it If I did this.
What do you think you're doing? What'd he slip you? Lewis, let go.
Lewis! What did he slip you? Let go of my purse! Lay off her, man.
Stop it! Anybody talking to you? âAAª s-s-she's talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª some callin' me a sinner âAAª âAAª some callin' me a winner âAAª âAAª I'm callin' you to dinner âAAª Stop! âAAª and you know exactly what I mean âAAª âAAª yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you âAAª âAAª you can rock or you can leave âAAª âAAª watch me tip without you âAAª âAAª n-n-now, whether I'm high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª yeah, tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª baby, let me see âAAª âAAª you tightrope âAAª âAAª and I'm still tippin' on it âAAª Marti! Marti, help! Come on.
What do we do? I have no idea.
Not a lot to cheer about in that cell.
Ohh.
My dad is gonna kill me.
The fighting? No, the fine.
Yeah, well, I could lose my scholarship over this.
Really? Yup, lancer athletic's code of conduct.
Well, not to add to your heap of woe, But we're here till we're arraigned, Which probably won't happen till Monday.
So You sure know a lot about getting arrested.
It's a family knack.
Thank you.
So Marti tells me you used to play football.
Yeah, freshman year.
I loved being on the field, bro The strategy, the rush of the game, of working as a team.
Why'd you quit? Uh, it was personal reasons.
Like? Like the personal kind.
Ok.
Uh, lancer football just wasn't for me, man.
Why'd you switch to cheerleading? I lost my football scholarship, Needed a new one.
Plus, I get to look up girls' skirts all day long.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
Look, I haven't got to thank you For jumping in that fight back there, man.
Hey, look.
Where I come from, You don't jump into a fight at the drop of a hat, Nobody bothers to learn your name.
I think you're a good dude, dan patch.
A good dude whose made someBad decisions about his hair But, uh, still a good dude, bro.
Ok.
Ok.
Man: They're right in here, coach.
I do appreciate this, glenn.
Well, anything to help the boys win next week.
Uh, boys It's been fun.
But it looks like my ride's here.
So, good night.
Don't be cocky, moron.
Oh.
Uh, hey, fellas Hi.
Has lewis flynn told you all how he's become a cheerleader now? Uh-huh.
Pompoms and everything.
Lewis, what is your new job called? Is it catcher or base? Bottom bitch? Do you go by bottom bitch? Keep talking, man.
Really.
Did I stutter? You did not, sir.
good night.
Go, jailbirds! I see why you quit.
Ok.
So, according to this, they won't be arraigned until Monday.
If we can get them out now, they won't go into the system.
And lewis keeps his scholarship? Yeah.
That's the theory.
But we need a lawyer, a pit bull.
Now? Ýn the middle of the night? How do we do that? Well, I have one idea.
Yeah? Unfortunately, it involves suicide.
That doesn't sound very fun.
Ms.
Perkins? I'm so sorry to be here on your doorstep at this time of night When I should be at home studying for your special law assignment.
Look, I know I'm blowing my shot at your law clinic as we speak.
But right now, 2 of my friends are in jail.
One, well, he's gonna lose his scholarship, And the other, he can't afford to pay.
Technically, neither of them can really afford to pay.
Get to the point.
We need your help.
Sergeant, my name is julian parrish.
I know who you are.
What brings a big gun like you down here at this hour? Well, you have 2 of my clients locked up in holding.
I think I'd know if I had a couple of your clients Their names are dan patch and lewis flynn.
Who? Couple of college students.
They were brought in with a bunch of football players.
Oh, those two.
Well, I didn't realize they had counsel.
And just to be clear, we haven't had any football players in here In lockup.
Not Are you sure about that?'cause a bunch of people saw them arrested Down on beale street earlier this eveni.
Oh.
Well, they were, uh, material witnesses.
Ah.
Well, in that case, Could I see their statements, please? You know, I really don't have time for this.
All right? We're on skeleton shift here, What, with all the damn budget cutbacks.
Can you come back, uh, uh, Monday? Hmm? I'll be here with bells on.
And I want to thank you, sergeant, From the bottom of my withered lawyer's heart.
This is gonna be fantastic.
What do you mean? Well, freeing the football players While keeping my clients locked up, That's unequal protection under the law, And a violation of their civil rights.
And civil rights suits, they get a lot of attention.
Now, that's "burnett" with 2 "ts.
" I want to make sure I get your name right for the press conference.
We're gonna hold it right out here on the front steps.
But you know what the best part's gonna be? Questioning red raymond himself on the stand As a hostile witness.
That is unparalleled legal theater.
And all the boosters and the city fathers will know That officer "burnett" with 2 "ts" Is the man that made it all happen.
Ok, counselor.
What do you want? Marti, hey, look, I owe you Really huge.
Hey, I'm your flyer.
It comes with the job, man.
I'm so sorry about getting you arrested.
You only got into that fight because the football player pushed me.
Ah, not your fault I'm a born hero.
I'm also sorry about acting like such a freak.
Clearly I had nothing to be nervous about.
Well, not nothing.
I do have a certain street cred to maintain.
Stop making jokes.
I'm trying to thank you for being so sweet.
SoThank you.
You're welcome.
Somebody's gotta hold her hair.
She's No.
I'll do it, man.
If you see her getting sick, it will scar her for life.
I'll call a cab.
Lewis: Good man.
Oh, hey.
Thank you so much.
I'm so sorry to drag you down here like this.
I hope you at least learned something.
I learned the cops around here have no problem lying.
Everyone lies.
That's my first rule for successful litigation You look for the lie, and you make it work for you.
I won't ever forget it.
It's 6 a.
M.
Stop kissing my ass.
Start thinking about the assignment I gave you.
Aah! Your back hurt? Yeah, I just Slept on it wrong.
No one forced you to sleep on the sofa.
Sit down.
And for the record, I happened to fall asleep on the sofa.
I wasn't You know, I wasn't trying to make a statement.
You kinda were.
Well, maybe a little one.
Can we talk about it? Last night, when I was sitting there on the sofa stewing, I actually started to wonder if we had made a mistake Moving in together so fast.
No.
We did not make a mistake.
I hope not.
But what does it say about our relationship That you actually felt like you had to keep this from me? It says I messed up.
Like I said, I'm sorry.
But what was so awful, Vanessa? College girls hook up with older men all the time.
Right? So, what makes this one time so horribly embarrassing? He had a wife.
Emily.
Oh.
So, how did it happen? The affair.
Do you really want to know? Yeah.
Yeah, I want to know.
It had a big effect on your life.
I should know this stuff.
well, we'd been flirting for a while.
And one night, I'm walking by his office, and I stick my head in.
And he's going over tapes of high-school seniors Who are applying for football scholarships.
And I'm there, and he opens a bottle of wine.
AndOne thing leads to another.
And So, how did it end? It ended The night I finally met emily.
The wife? Yeah.
We were about a year into our affair, And it was at some sort of dinner for the athletic department.
AndI didn't realize who she was at first.
She was Talking about wanting kids, and She was really nice, And then red walked up and kissed her.
And that's when everything just came crashing down Like a ton of bricks I mean, All the guilt Over what I had been doing.
Did you break it off? I did, but it was too late.
The university found out that red was sleeping with a student.
And bill marsh covered it up, but he forced red to resign.
AndEmily left him.
I ruined red's life.
Oh, hold on, Vanessa.
Red knew exactly what he was doing.
Ok? Now, he was in a position of responsibility, And you were nothing more than a student.
Well, he was 25.
He was 6 years older than me.
We were kids Stupid, reckless kids.
And we hurt a woman who didn't deserve it.
So, now you know.
I do.
Do you really think we made a mistake moving in together? Oh Not even close.
Good morning, darlin'.
what's wrong, sugar? This special assignment my law professor gave me.
It's for a court case that doesn't exist.
I've been looking all weekend.
Ohh.
Well, I guess law classes have everyone workin' overtime.
What do you mean? That hottie over there.
Um, yeah, rule one never refer to anyone I have classes with as a "hottie.
" Rule 2never use the word "hottie.
" Ah.
Hmm.
Ok.
Uh, you're morgan, right? Yes.
We're in parrish's law seminar together.
Oh, wow.
What's the big secret? Nothing.
I'm working on a private assignment for julian.
Oh, well, yay for you.
And I seriously doubt he lets you call him julian.
By any chance is your special assignment "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee"? How could you possibly know that? That sneaky bastard.
Did he ask you to look it up, you know, keep it a secret? Yeah.
Was it after disparaging you For being overextended? He disparaged me, But not for being overextended.
He called me off-putting.
Hmm.
He said my face was "punchable.
" He was kidding, obviously.
So, he made us all feel like failures And then gave us one chance to redeem ourselves.
Basically, it's an impossible assignment because there's no such case.
Ohh.
Duh.
It's kobayashi maru.
Huh? Kobayashi maru.
From "star trek.
" The tv show? Uhh.
Yes.
And successful film franchise.
opening weekend? Hello? Why would you know that? The kobayashi maru scenario Is a test that starfleet academy gives its cadets.
It's an impossible task, To see how you deal with failure.
Why? Because only through failure is true character revealed.
See, I don't do failure.
Morgan, you wanna help me kick some ass? How do you mean, exactly? âAAª all right âAAª âAAª well, take a chance and let me make you âAAª âAAª all mine âAAª âAAª'cause it don't matter if it takes us âAAª âAAª all night âAAª âAAª well, maybe love can start like this âAAª âAAª light a spark with just one kiss âAAª âAAª let's roll the dice and let it ride âAAª âAAª yeah âAAª Hopefully all of you realize That the interview wasn't just an interview.
It was a test a test of character.
And what I hoped was to see how you note-taking drones React when faced with an impossible task.
Who would rise to the challenge? Who of you could surprise me? Actually, "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee" does exist.
Yeah.
Surprise.
No, I invented it.
Kobayashi isn't a real name.
It's a reference to a fictional Yeah, yeah.
"star trek," Nerds rule the earth.
Mm-hmm.
You two created a case called "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee.
" We reprogrammed the scenario, just like jim kirk.
We filed it on behalf of charlie kobayashi of hickory withe, tennessee.
Hickory withe needs street lamps, And Mr.
Kobayashi has taken up the cause.
You lied about the case, and we made the lie work for us.
To be clear, What you did was not the conduct of a proper lawyer.
And I hate proper lawyers.
You're in.
My law clinic starts Monday.
You just Yeah.
Ok.
Ahem.
Give them to me.
Give what to you? The drugs.
I saw jake give them to you.
Well, you saw wrong.
Every single one of those guys is on something, And I know you've been practicing with a hurt wrist.
So, what did he give you? Hmm? Hgh? Steroids, alice? Painkillers? What? Oh.
So, all of a sudden, you care.
We may not be together, but that doesn't mean I want to see bad things happen to you.
Ok? Now, trouble follows jake.
You should really steer clear of him.
So, you do care.
Good to know.
You're applying for a scholarship? I have one now.
For cheerleading.
Hello, Marti.
Welcome to Cheertown.
Ah, Vanessa.
I'm sure you remember the famous coach Red Raymond.
Just so we're clear, I have a boyfriend.
Things change.
Hi, I'm Vanessa Lodge.
My girlfriend.
Nice to meet you.
Tighten up! I'll miss qualifiers.
Lewis asked Vanessa if he could make you his permanent flyer.
What about alice? Weren't they, like, a thing? The squad comes first.
Hey, savannah, you want to go out with me? Ok, yeah.
âAAª yeah, yeah âAAª âAAª my friends say I'm crazy âAAª âAAª they all try to save me âAAª âAAª there is nothing they can do âAAª You gotta be kidding me.
They work just as hard as the volleyball team.
âAAª not even worth ignoring âAAª âAAª it's just what I'm addicted to âAAª âAAª whoo! âAAª âAAª hey! Hey! âAAª âAAª it's like boom âAAª âAAª hey! Hey! âAAª Whoa.
I bought this for my date with dan.
What does this dress say? "back off.
This is my street corner.
" What? Really? no, I'm kidding.
You look hot.
Why are you asking me, anyways? Well, he's your friend, and I want it to go well.
Believe it or not, I don't get asked out that much.
Well, you'd never know it from your streetwise cool.
Marti, come on.
This is my first secular date.
I'm used to group dates stage-managed by my church.
I'm sorry.
It's just it's weird I mean, you dating dan of all people.
All people? All people what does that even mean? Well, for one thing, he's big and you're little.
I mean, you two could be russian nesting dolls.
But mostly, he's He's a player.
You're not the kind of girl he dates.
What kind of girl does he date? Party girls, hookups.
You're relationship material.
He's not used to that.
Marti, why are you being so negative? Do you have a thing for dan? What? Because if you do, I'll back off.
No.
I don't want to create drama within the squad.
No.
Dan and I are just buds.
I mean, we're friends.
You know? That's it.
Look, I'm just saying manage your expectations.
You know? I know the guy.
Well, thanks for the advice Warning Whatever that was.
Cool.
Get out here now, guys.
Vanessa's calling an emergency meeting.
Gather up, hellcats.
The university is pulling our funding for regionals.
Lewis: What? Why? What? We just qualified.
The girl's volleyball team Also qualified in their league.
The school was paying to send us and not them.
The ladies didn't think that was fair, And they're filing a lawsuit against the school.
I hate them, but that is genius.
The ncaa recognizes volleyball as a sport.
Cheerleading, not so much.
The university is looking to avoid a legal fight, And so they are reallocating our funding to volleyball.
So, we can't move to the next level? We qualified, so we're free to go, Providing that we can figure out how to pay For our away uniforms, entrance fees, travel.
If we foot the bill ourselves, It breaks down to about 10 grand.
Oh, my gosh.
So, that's it? We're done? Oh, we're never done.
We're just moving on to plan "b".
There are 2 ways to get to nationals.
We can go step-by-step through regionals and sectionals, All the way to nationals, building our routines.
OrSince we don't have the money we need, The second option is to submit a bid video Directly to the national organization.
The competition's a lot stiffer.
But if we win a bid, the national organization pays our full freight.
Well, if it's free, why didn't we just do that in the first place? Well, because of you.
Alice It's the truth.
Vanessa is afraid to put an inexperienced flyer like you on video Up against the best stunters in the nation.
Wow.
Ok.
Hey, look, we all have total faith in you, Marti.
And may I remind everyone that if it wasn't for Marti, We would not have won at qualifiers.
Exactly.
Yes.
Marti! Whoo! Whoo! Come on, we all know we're just marking time Until my wrist healed enough for me to come back and take back my rightful spot.
Ok, it sucks to be sidelined with an injury.
I know, and I'm sorry.
But your wrist needs time to heal.
My wrist is fine.
It doesn't even hurt anymore.
If we're shooting a video, you need me on that mat.
You guys, tell her.
Marti: Hey, um, look.
I know this is the worst possible timing, but I can't be late For this seminar again.
Guys, I'm sorry.
Alice, you are a treat as always.
Glad the wrist injury didn't affect your claws.
She's not even a real hellcat.
She is just using us To pay for her law classes.
The sooner I'm back on the mat, the better.
Julian: Oh, ms.
Perkins.
In a court of law, what happens when one party is late? The, um, late party is held in contempt.
That's correct.
But that's not the real punishment.
Does anyone know what the real punishment is? Mr.
Pepper.
The judge and jury, Those who dictate the outcome of your case, They won't take you seriously.
Thank you, Mr.
Pepper.
In the american justice system, Perception is realital Please stop speaking, Mr.
Pepper.
Yes.
Have a seat.
As I was saying, there are Rich ones who rack up the billable hours And those with a soft spot for lost causes The kind of cases no one else is willing to touch And who find themselves teaching at lancer To pay their rent.
Ha! Now, I have taken on yet another lost cause, A man who has been sentenced to life in prison For a minor burglary.
And we are gonna get him out.
So, I need 2 pre-law students to help me With research and interviews and legwork.
So, sign your names for consideration.
You know, harvard and yale law, They love to see those kind of side projects on a transcript.
But beware.
This is not easy.
You will work harder than you ever have.
And if there's any blood, sweat, or tears left at the end, You're not doing it right.
It'll be the worst time of your life.
But it'll also be the best.
So, if you are not serious Do not bother.
Ow, ow, ow.
I'm coming down.
You shouldn't be on your wrist like that.
Let's go again.
I think you guys Should call it a day.
She's right.
I can get this.
I need to be ready for the bid video.
Come on.
Is this really about the bid video? Or is it about lewis? Lewis? No.
You're pushing yourself because you wanna be his flyer again.
ok.
You're talking crap.
Dr.
Derrick is not gonna clear you with a bum wrist.
My wrist is fine.
Ow.
If you can't fool me, how are you gonna fool a doctor? Alice: Hey, jake.
âAAª somehow I can âAAª âAAª get out âAAª Hello, darlin'.
Lewis know you're here? Lewis and I broke up.
Huh.
You know, I never understood what you saw in him, anyway.
What happened between you guys? You used to be all judd apatow for each other, And then one day, boom, you suddenly hate each other's guts.
Yeah, well, he abandoned his team.
He's a traitor.
Nothing much else to say.
Boys and their secrets.
Anyway I need your help.
Mm-hmm.
I have to pass medical.
How long ago did you injure it? A few weeks.
I'm about a month out from unassisted recovery.
I don't have that kind of time.
Ok.
Well, I can get you oxy and vikes for the pain, But you're gonna want hgh as well.
It'll cut the healing time in half, And you can practice in the meantime.
Oh.
What's it gonna cost me? Oh, alice.
I don't know.
Let's meet up later tonight and figure something out.
Sounds like a plan.
Yeah? I'll text you and let you know where I'll be.
The third circuit ruled the three strikes law unconstitutional Because it resulted in cruel and unusual punishment.
Butters had already served 6 years Why not just overturn the law? Three strikes laws are political plutonium.
Nobody wants to be accused of going easy on a criminal, So nobody attacks the larger issue That these laws are fundamentally unconstitutional.
You're quoting me.
"university of chicago law review," volume 634.
Look, clearly, you've done your homework.
And I want to thank you for your time.
That's it? Did I do something wrong? Your answers are acceptable, ms.
Perkins.
Your grades are good.
You're solid.
But I need serious and committed students, Not cheerleaders.
The only reason I'm a cheerleader is because I need the scholarship.
I don't care why.
The point is, you're overextended.
I see you sliding into my class at the last minute.
You got bags under your eyes.
Placing you on my team would be an enormous risk.
And this case is too important for that.
A man's freedom is on the line.
I can make the time.
If I have to, I'll cut back on eating, sleeping, and showering.
I promise I will work 24/7, and I will impress you.
I will give you one chance.
It's a side assignment, but you gotta keep it confidential.
All right? Ý don't want your classmates hounding me.
Yeah.
Before our next class, I want you to research "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee" And how it applies to three strikes laws.
Got it? I got it.
And do us all a favor.
Keep on showering.
Boy: Thanks, coach.
Boo.
Are you trying to avoid me? I forgot myWhistle.
So, I just went back in to get it.
Why are you lurking outside my door, anyway? I'm enjoying all the intrigue, The skulking around, whispered conversations in hallways.
Come on.
Remember how much fun nthat used to be? Is this a game for you? Asking derrick and me to have drinks with you, Sending me roses, bringing the football team To cheer for us at qualifiers.
You're the one keeping your boyfriend in the dark about our history.
Not me.
I was a student having an affair With a faculty member A stupid, immature cliché.
I didn't want derrick to think any less of me, So I didn't tell him.
I have another theory.
I think you're not so sure how you feel about me coming back to lancer.
You're keeping your options open.
You're out of your mind.
You always did play hard to get.
This feels like old times.
What do they call that? Déjà vu? Hmm.
I love the french.
They got a name for everything.
Good night.
Good night, coach.
See you tomorrow.
Um, Marti, you busy? Yeah, I'm tearing my hair out.
My professor gave me this case to research.
I've searched lexisnexis, findlaw, law-nex west.
I even called the district courts.
Nothing.
It's like it doesn't exist.
Why? What's up? I need you to call dan.
Tell him I'm sick and I can't go out with him.
What? It's not really a lie.
My stomach's been in knots all day.
I thought you were all excited about the big secular date.
What happened? Everything you said About what a player dan is.
this is because of me? You're probably right.
He's never gonna be attracted to someone like me.
Ok, look.
I have a big mouth, And I don't always pay attention to what comes out of it.
It's healthy for you to get out into the world.
I can't let you blow this off.
It's not your decision.
Well, then let me help you.
But you have to study.
You know what? Ý've hit a wall here, anyways.
A break will do me good.
Now, what can we do to keep you from freaking out? âAAª ooh! âAAª âAAª no, no, no, no âAAª âAAª no, no, no, no-o-o âAAª âAAª ladies, let me see âAAª âAAª your hands up in the air âAAª Hey.
How are you? Hi.
Good.
Good to see you.
âAAª show'em what you got âAAª âAAª shake it all around, shake it all around âAAª âAAª you want a little of this âAAª Hey, guys.
Get the party started.
Yeah.
It's about that time.
âAAª hey, yo, you want a little of this? âAAª âAAª you want a little, wanna little of this? âAAª What's this? âAAª come on âAAª âAAª once you think âAAª brought the whole fam.
All right.
âAAª you can't touch it âAAª You told her I was a player? I'm sorry.
It was a dumb thing to say.
Yeah.
Now I'm on a date with half the squad.
Look, the girl was home-schooled.
Ok? Her parents raised her like veal.
The group thing is how her church used to handle dating.
Well, if the whole gang is expecting me to put out tonight, I'm gonna need a bigger backseat.
All right.
Behave.
And don't hurt savannah.
Who said anything about hurting anybody? It's a simple date.
With cheerleaders, nothing is simple.
hey.
That dress looks really nice on you.
Thanks.
I like your shirt.
It's very blue.
It's a good color, blue.
Do you like colors? I'm a monochrome guy myself.
Uhh.
I'm sorry.
That came out wrong.
It's ok.
I mean, obviously, you'd like colors, right? This is a great bar.
Happening.
That it is.
Ohh.
Come on, savannah.
You're an interesting person.
Lighten up.
This is lame.
Excuse me.
Uh, can you get that girl a hurricane, please? Keep'em coming.
Mm-hmm.
âAAª something like a girl âAAª Hey, doc.
This seat taken? Oh, hey, coach raymond.
Ah, it's all yours.
Call me red.
Where's that pretty little gal of yours? Uh, working dinner.
Trying to get some kind of sponsorship deal for the squad.
Ah, good woman.
Smart.
Guess that means you got time for a beer, then.
Or two.
Or two.
Good.
Bartender, Some medicine for the doctor here.
these are amazing.
You know, I'm not normally much of a drinker.
You gotta careful pounding those hurricanes.
Champagne at weddings, that sort of thing They'll sneak up on you.
Oh.
This one time, I went winetasting with my girlfriend.
And there was an option to spit in a metal bowl, That is disgusting.
So I ended up drinking And it was awesome.
I'm sorry, am I talking too much? Well, I was trying to meditate, but It's ok.
Was that a joke? Absolutely.
It was funny! I really like you, dan.
I think you're really, really funny.
And handsome.
You know, I was so scared that Marti was in love with you Because you're a player and she's really cool and strong And a street dancer, which is kinda scary but sexy.
Do you think Marti's sexy? Ý do.
MmmI wouldn't have come tonight If she hadn't talked me into it.
She's so great and supportive.
Uh, yeah, we're gonna take a walk, Away from the drinks.
You guys want to come? hell to the yes! Whoo! Uh, hands.
Yeah.
Just work it out.
Ahem.
"get that girl a hurricane and keep'em coming.
" Really.
Yeah? Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Derrick: Vanessa? Hey.
Hi.
So, guess who I ran into at the pub tonight.
Red raymond.
You did? Oh, I was so slick, Vanessa.
I mean, I was so slick that you actually Would have been really turned on.
Oh, I'm always turned on by you.
Hmm.
Ok, so listen.
I laid down the groundwork to get that open spot For athletic department staff physician.
I mean, you know, I just mentioned it in passing, And he seemed receptive.
Honey So, I'm gonna swing by his office tomorrow.
Derrick Yeah.
Sit.
Please.
There's something I haven't told you.
And I should have been up front from the start, And I'm so sorry.
It sounds serious.
What is it? when I was a student And red was on the coaching staff, We had an affair.
Oh, my god.
The school found out about it and forced him to resign To avoid a big scandal.
That's why red left lancer? Because of you? Vanessa, why did you pretend like you didn't even know this guy? I don't have a good answer.
I basically panicked.
God, I feel like such an idiot Kissing the high king's ring at the pub tonight, Groveling for a job.
I mean, the guy is probably still laughing at me.
He was asking about you, you know.
Does this guy still have feelings for you, Vanessa? It doesn't matter if he does.
Well, that sounds like a yes.
Well, I certainly told him That I'm not interested.
And I'm not.
You know that.
You do know that, right? Why did you feel like you had to lie to me, Vanessa? I was embarrassed.
Ok? We just moved in together.
We're still unpacking, for god's sake.
I want you to see me for who I am now, Not who I was when I was 19.
Well, apparently, you still have no problem deceiving people.
Did that make you feel better? No.
No, it didn't.
I'm, um, I'm gonna go watch "sportscenter" for a while.
Derrick, I love you.
I love you, too.
Look, the tumblers are outside.
Those moves are so cool.
Marti! Dondre.
Dude! How's the tourist take? Good? We're bringing it.
They ain't.
Do you want to help out? What do you guys think? Wanna go for it? What do you say? Whoo! Yeah! Yeah! âAAª whoa! âAAª âAAª another day âAAª âAAª I take your pain away âAAª âAAª some people talk about ya âAAª âAAª like they know all about ya âAAª âAAª when you get down, they doubt ya âAAª âAAª and when you dip it on the scene âAAª âAAª yeah, they talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª'cause they can't dip on the scene âAAª âAAª whatcha talk about it, t- T-t-talkin"bout it âAAª âAAª when you get elevated âAAª âAAª they love it or they hate it âAAª âAAª you dance up on them haters âAAª âAAª keep getting funky on the scene âAAª âAAª while they jumpin' round ya âAAª âAAª they trying to take all of your dreams âAAª âAAª but you can't allow it âAAª âAAª'cause, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª t-t-t-tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª t-t-t-tip âAAª âAAª now let me see you do the tightrope âAAª âAAª yeah! âAAª âAAª yeah! Now shout it out! âAAª âAAª I tip on alligators âAAª âAAª and little rattle snakers âAAª âAAª see, I'm another flavor âAAª âAAª something like a terminator âAAª âAAª ain't no equivocating âAAª âAAª I fight for what I believe âAAª âAAª why you talkin"bout it? âAAª âAAª s-s-she's talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª some callin' me a sinner âAAª âAAª some callin' me a winner âAAª âAAª I'm callin' you to dinner âAAª âAAª and you know exactly what I mean âAAª âAAª yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you âAAª âAAª you can rock or you can leave âAAª âAAª watch me tip without you âAAª âAAª n-n-now, whether I'm high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª yeah, tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª baby, let me see âAAª âAAª you tightrope âAAª âAAª and I'm still tippin' on it âAAª Whoo! She's good.
Who's that with alice? You don't recognize lancer's quarterback? My vision's a little blurry.
One beer.
Come on.
jakey, I think you're adorable.
Mm-hmm.
But I am not gonna hook up with you.
Ohh.
Alice, you're killing me.
And after everything I set you up with? Lewis wouldn't like it If I did this.
What do you think you're doing? What'd he slip you? Lewis, let go.
Lewis! What did he slip you? Let go of my purse! Lay off her, man.
Stop it! Anybody talking to you? âAAª s-s-she's talkin' 'bout it âAAª âAAª some callin' me a sinner âAAª âAAª some callin' me a winner âAAª âAAª I'm callin' you to dinner âAAª Stop! âAAª and you know exactly what I mean âAAª âAAª yeah, I'm talkin' 'bout you âAAª âAAª you can rock or you can leave âAAª âAAª watch me tip without you âAAª âAAª n-n-now, whether I'm high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª yeah, tip âAAª âAAª on the tightrope âAAª âAAª baby, baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª baby, whether you're high or low âAAª âAAª you gotta tip on the tightrope âAAª âAAª tip, tip on it âAAª âAAª baby, let me see âAAª âAAª you tightrope âAAª âAAª and I'm still tippin' on it âAAª Marti! Marti, help! Come on.
What do we do? I have no idea.
Not a lot to cheer about in that cell.
Ohh.
My dad is gonna kill me.
The fighting? No, the fine.
Yeah, well, I could lose my scholarship over this.
Really? Yup, lancer athletic's code of conduct.
Well, not to add to your heap of woe, But we're here till we're arraigned, Which probably won't happen till Monday.
So You sure know a lot about getting arrested.
It's a family knack.
Thank you.
So Marti tells me you used to play football.
Yeah, freshman year.
I loved being on the field, bro The strategy, the rush of the game, of working as a team.
Why'd you quit? Uh, it was personal reasons.
Like? Like the personal kind.
Ok.
Uh, lancer football just wasn't for me, man.
Why'd you switch to cheerleading? I lost my football scholarship, Needed a new one.
Plus, I get to look up girls' skirts all day long.
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Yeah.
Look, I haven't got to thank you For jumping in that fight back there, man.
Hey, look.
Where I come from, You don't jump into a fight at the drop of a hat, Nobody bothers to learn your name.
I think you're a good dude, dan patch.
A good dude whose made someBad decisions about his hair But, uh, still a good dude, bro.
Ok.
Ok.
Man: They're right in here, coach.
I do appreciate this, glenn.
Well, anything to help the boys win next week.
Uh, boys It's been fun.
But it looks like my ride's here.
So, good night.
Don't be cocky, moron.
Oh.
Uh, hey, fellas Hi.
Has lewis flynn told you all how he's become a cheerleader now? Uh-huh.
Pompoms and everything.
Lewis, what is your new job called? Is it catcher or base? Bottom bitch? Do you go by bottom bitch? Keep talking, man.
Really.
Did I stutter? You did not, sir.
good night.
Go, jailbirds! I see why you quit.
Ok.
So, according to this, they won't be arraigned until Monday.
If we can get them out now, they won't go into the system.
And lewis keeps his scholarship? Yeah.
That's the theory.
But we need a lawyer, a pit bull.
Now? Ýn the middle of the night? How do we do that? Well, I have one idea.
Yeah? Unfortunately, it involves suicide.
That doesn't sound very fun.
Ms.
Perkins? I'm so sorry to be here on your doorstep at this time of night When I should be at home studying for your special law assignment.
Look, I know I'm blowing my shot at your law clinic as we speak.
But right now, 2 of my friends are in jail.
One, well, he's gonna lose his scholarship, And the other, he can't afford to pay.
Technically, neither of them can really afford to pay.
Get to the point.
We need your help.
Sergeant, my name is julian parrish.
I know who you are.
What brings a big gun like you down here at this hour? Well, you have 2 of my clients locked up in holding.
I think I'd know if I had a couple of your clients Their names are dan patch and lewis flynn.
Who? Couple of college students.
They were brought in with a bunch of football players.
Oh, those two.
Well, I didn't realize they had counsel.
And just to be clear, we haven't had any football players in here In lockup.
Not Are you sure about that?'cause a bunch of people saw them arrested Down on beale street earlier this eveni.
Oh.
Well, they were, uh, material witnesses.
Ah.
Well, in that case, Could I see their statements, please? You know, I really don't have time for this.
All right? We're on skeleton shift here, What, with all the damn budget cutbacks.
Can you come back, uh, uh, Monday? Hmm? I'll be here with bells on.
And I want to thank you, sergeant, From the bottom of my withered lawyer's heart.
This is gonna be fantastic.
What do you mean? Well, freeing the football players While keeping my clients locked up, That's unequal protection under the law, And a violation of their civil rights.
And civil rights suits, they get a lot of attention.
Now, that's "burnett" with 2 "ts.
" I want to make sure I get your name right for the press conference.
We're gonna hold it right out here on the front steps.
But you know what the best part's gonna be? Questioning red raymond himself on the stand As a hostile witness.
That is unparalleled legal theater.
And all the boosters and the city fathers will know That officer "burnett" with 2 "ts" Is the man that made it all happen.
Ok, counselor.
What do you want? Marti, hey, look, I owe you Really huge.
Hey, I'm your flyer.
It comes with the job, man.
I'm so sorry about getting you arrested.
You only got into that fight because the football player pushed me.
Ah, not your fault I'm a born hero.
I'm also sorry about acting like such a freak.
Clearly I had nothing to be nervous about.
Well, not nothing.
I do have a certain street cred to maintain.
Stop making jokes.
I'm trying to thank you for being so sweet.
SoThank you.
You're welcome.
Somebody's gotta hold her hair.
She's No.
I'll do it, man.
If you see her getting sick, it will scar her for life.
I'll call a cab.
Lewis: Good man.
Oh, hey.
Thank you so much.
I'm so sorry to drag you down here like this.
I hope you at least learned something.
I learned the cops around here have no problem lying.
Everyone lies.
That's my first rule for successful litigation You look for the lie, and you make it work for you.
I won't ever forget it.
It's 6 a.
M.
Stop kissing my ass.
Start thinking about the assignment I gave you.
Aah! Your back hurt? Yeah, I just Slept on it wrong.
No one forced you to sleep on the sofa.
Sit down.
And for the record, I happened to fall asleep on the sofa.
I wasn't You know, I wasn't trying to make a statement.
You kinda were.
Well, maybe a little one.
Can we talk about it? Last night, when I was sitting there on the sofa stewing, I actually started to wonder if we had made a mistake Moving in together so fast.
No.
We did not make a mistake.
I hope not.
But what does it say about our relationship That you actually felt like you had to keep this from me? It says I messed up.
Like I said, I'm sorry.
But what was so awful, Vanessa? College girls hook up with older men all the time.
Right? So, what makes this one time so horribly embarrassing? He had a wife.
Emily.
Oh.
So, how did it happen? The affair.
Do you really want to know? Yeah.
Yeah, I want to know.
It had a big effect on your life.
I should know this stuff.
well, we'd been flirting for a while.
And one night, I'm walking by his office, and I stick my head in.
And he's going over tapes of high-school seniors Who are applying for football scholarships.
And I'm there, and he opens a bottle of wine.
AndOne thing leads to another.
And So, how did it end? It ended The night I finally met emily.
The wife? Yeah.
We were about a year into our affair, And it was at some sort of dinner for the athletic department.
AndI didn't realize who she was at first.
She was Talking about wanting kids, and She was really nice, And then red walked up and kissed her.
And that's when everything just came crashing down Like a ton of bricks I mean, All the guilt Over what I had been doing.
Did you break it off? I did, but it was too late.
The university found out that red was sleeping with a student.
And bill marsh covered it up, but he forced red to resign.
AndEmily left him.
I ruined red's life.
Oh, hold on, Vanessa.
Red knew exactly what he was doing.
Ok? Now, he was in a position of responsibility, And you were nothing more than a student.
Well, he was 25.
He was 6 years older than me.
We were kids Stupid, reckless kids.
And we hurt a woman who didn't deserve it.
So, now you know.
I do.
Do you really think we made a mistake moving in together? Oh Not even close.
Good morning, darlin'.
what's wrong, sugar? This special assignment my law professor gave me.
It's for a court case that doesn't exist.
I've been looking all weekend.
Ohh.
Well, I guess law classes have everyone workin' overtime.
What do you mean? That hottie over there.
Um, yeah, rule one never refer to anyone I have classes with as a "hottie.
" Rule 2never use the word "hottie.
" Ah.
Hmm.
Ok.
Uh, you're morgan, right? Yes.
We're in parrish's law seminar together.
Oh, wow.
What's the big secret? Nothing.
I'm working on a private assignment for julian.
Oh, well, yay for you.
And I seriously doubt he lets you call him julian.
By any chance is your special assignment "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee"? How could you possibly know that? That sneaky bastard.
Did he ask you to look it up, you know, keep it a secret? Yeah.
Was it after disparaging you For being overextended? He disparaged me, But not for being overextended.
He called me off-putting.
Hmm.
He said my face was "punchable.
" He was kidding, obviously.
So, he made us all feel like failures And then gave us one chance to redeem ourselves.
Basically, it's an impossible assignment because there's no such case.
Ohh.
Duh.
It's kobayashi maru.
Huh? Kobayashi maru.
From "star trek.
" The tv show? Uhh.
Yes.
And successful film franchise.
opening weekend? Hello? Why would you know that? The kobayashi maru scenario Is a test that starfleet academy gives its cadets.
It's an impossible task, To see how you deal with failure.
Why? Because only through failure is true character revealed.
See, I don't do failure.
Morgan, you wanna help me kick some ass? How do you mean, exactly? âAAª all right âAAª âAAª well, take a chance and let me make you âAAª âAAª all mine âAAª âAAª'cause it don't matter if it takes us âAAª âAAª all night âAAª âAAª well, maybe love can start like this âAAª âAAª light a spark with just one kiss âAAª âAAª let's roll the dice and let it ride âAAª âAAª yeah âAAª Hopefully all of you realize That the interview wasn't just an interview.
It was a test a test of character.
And what I hoped was to see how you note-taking drones React when faced with an impossible task.
Who would rise to the challenge? Who of you could surprise me? Actually, "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee" does exist.
Yeah.
Surprise.
No, I invented it.
Kobayashi isn't a real name.
It's a reference to a fictional Yeah, yeah.
"star trek," Nerds rule the earth.
Mm-hmm.
You two created a case called "kobayashi vs.
Tennessee.
" We reprogrammed the scenario, just like jim kirk.
We filed it on behalf of charlie kobayashi of hickory withe, tennessee.
Hickory withe needs street lamps, And Mr.
Kobayashi has taken up the cause.
You lied about the case, and we made the lie work for us.
To be clear, What you did was not the conduct of a proper lawyer.
And I hate proper lawyers.
You're in.
My law clinic starts Monday.
You just Yeah.
Ok.
Ahem.
Give them to me.
Give what to you? The drugs.
I saw jake give them to you.
Well, you saw wrong.
Every single one of those guys is on something, And I know you've been practicing with a hurt wrist.
So, what did he give you? Hmm? Hgh? Steroids, alice? Painkillers? What? Oh.
So, all of a sudden, you care.
We may not be together, but that doesn't mean I want to see bad things happen to you.
Ok? Now, trouble follows jake.
You should really steer clear of him.
So, you do care.
Good to know.