Henry Danger (2014) s01e03 Episode Script
The Secret Gets Out
1 NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU DON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU WON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU WON'T.
HEY, GUYS.
NO YOU WON'T.
HEY, GUYS.
YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
HEY, GUYS.
YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
QUIET! YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
QUIET! WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
QUIET! WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
NO PROBLEM.
WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
HEY, HEY, HEY! I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
HEY, HEY, HEY! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HEY, HEY, HEY! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHAT VIDEO? JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHAT VIDEO? IT'S FROM THE NEWS WHAT VIDEO? IT'S FROM THE NEWS LAST NIGHT.
IT'S FROM THE NEWS LAST NIGHT.
IT'S CALLED LAST NIGHT.
IT'S CALLED "CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" IT'S CALLED "CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" OOH, PLAY IT.
"CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" OOH, PLAY IT.
HEY, LOOK.
OOH, PLAY IT.
HEY, LOOK.
MY BELLY BUTTON.
HEY, LOOK.
MY BELLY BUTTON.
PLAY THE VIDEO.
WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS STRUCK AGAIN.
THIS TIME THE PHONE SHARK BIT THROUGH A DOZEN PEOPLE'S CELL PHONES, THEN FLED THE SCENE, ONCE AGAIN ESCAPING CAPTURE FROM CAPTAIN MAN.
CAPTAIN MAN, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT THE PHONE SHARK HAS BEEN ATTACKING PEOPLE'S PHONES FOR OVER A YEAR NOW? YES, THAT IS TRUE.
SO, WHY DON'T YOU CATCH HIM? WELL, KID DANGER AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING.
BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
AW.
I FEEL BAD FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
IT'S NOT CAPTAIN MAN'S FAULT.
HE JUST NEEDS A BETTER SIDEKICK.
ONE MORE TIME? JUST SAYING, I'D BE WAY BETTER AT CATCHING BAD GUYS THAN KID DANGER.
YOU COULDN'T CATCH BUTT WARTS.
OH, YES HE COULD.
REMEMBER FIFTH GRADE? THAT WAS A RASH.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
WHATEVER.
I THINK KID DANGER DOES A GREAT JOB.
WHY ARE YOU GETTING ALL MAD? BECAUSE JASPER'S BEING UNFAIR.
AND I THINK IT'S UNFAIR TO CRITICIZE THAT, THAT KID DANGER GUY, WHEN HE'S PROBABLY DOING THE BEST HE CAN.
AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE FAIR, YOU KNOW? FAIRNESS.
I'M PRO FAIR.
JASPER.
WHAT? GET UP.
WHY SHOULD I? BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO CARRY ME TO MY FRIEND MARLA'S HOUSE.
I'M NOT GOING TO CARRY YOU.
I AIN'T NO HORSE.
FINE.
THEN I'LL JUST UPLOAD THIS VIDEO SO THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE IT.
VIDEO OF WHAT? HIM TRYING TO SING "THE CUP SONG.
" I NEVER DID THAT.
WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I NEVER DID THAT.
WATCH.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTT-- DANG IT.
I'LL NEVER BE PITCH PERFECT.
OKAY, STOP IT.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? TURN IT OFF.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED MY THUMB DRIVE.
SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED MY THUMB DRIVE.
MAYBE I DID.
MY THUMB DRIVE.
MAYBE I DID.
OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
MAYBE I DID.
OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
OH, I WON'T.
PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
OH, I WON'T.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME OH, I WON'T.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
NO.
TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
NO.
I GOT MY TICKET NO.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND OKAY, FINE.
FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND OKAY, FINE.
GET ON MY BACK.
OKAY, FINE.
GET ON MY BACK.
GET ON ME.
GET ON MY BACK.
GET ON ME.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, GET ON ME.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
NO.
JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
NO.
OW.
NO.
OW.
HYAH.
OW.
HYAH.
HYAH.
HYAH.
HYAH.
[ WATCH BEEPING .]
HYAH.
[ WATCH BEEPING .]
YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING [ WATCH BEEPING .]
YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? IT JUST MEANS YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? IT JUST MEANS THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
IT JUST MEANS THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
BYE.
THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
BYE.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
BYE.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
RIGHT.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
RIGHT.
I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
RIGHT.
I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP WITH THAT BOY.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP WITH THAT BOY.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
WITH THAT BOY.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
YOU'LL CALL ME THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
YOU'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
FEELS GOOD.
CALL IT.
UP THE TUBE! OH, MY BOOT.
HA! I'M SO TIRED.
O TIRED.
UGH, QUIT WHINING.
IT WAS ONLY FOUR MILES.
FOUR MILES THERE AND FOUR MILES BACK.
JUST TAKE ME UP TO MY ROOM.
[ GRUNTING .]
I'M GOING TO DIE.
NOT IN THE HOUSE.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, DO IT OUTSIDE.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, DO IT OUTSIDE.
YOU'RE HOME LATE.
DO IT OUTSIDE.
YOU'RE HOME LATE.
WHAT ARE YOU YOU'RE HOME LATE.
WHAT ARE YOU HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHAT ARE YOU HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
WHY ARE YOU HERE? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
OF WHAT? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
OF WHAT? WHY DID YOU OF WHAT? WHY DID YOU CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? WHY DID YOU CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
UNDER THE MAT.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WORKING.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WORKING.
YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
WORKING.
YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
REALLY? YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
REALLY? BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
REALLY? BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
OKAY.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
OKAY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW OKAY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN? YEAH.
WHERE I'VE BEEN? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
YEAH.
I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ AND THE ONLY TIME BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ AND THE ONLY TIME THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN AND THE ONLY TIME THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN IS LATE AT NIGHT, THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN IS LATE AT NIGHT, SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS IS LATE AT NIGHT, SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS AT A JAZZ CLUB SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS AT A JAZZ CLUB BLOWING JAZZ AT A JAZZ CLUB BLOWING JAZZ ON MY HORN.
BLOWING JAZZ ON MY HORN.
[ SNIFFING .]
ON MY HORN.
[ SNIFFING .]
HMM.
[ SNIFFING .]
HMM.
WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? HMM.
WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER PUT OUT A FIRE THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER PUT OUT A FIRE AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
PUT OUT A FIRE AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
OH, DID THEY? AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
OH, DID THEY? YEAH.
OH, DID THEY? YEAH.
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
YEAH.
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
[ SNIFFING .]
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
[ SNIFFING .]
IT DOES.
[ SNIFFING .]
IT DOES.
I WONDER WHY.
IT DOES.
I WONDER WHY.
MAYBE BECAUSE I WONDER WHY.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE KID DANGER.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE KID DANGER.
KID DA-- YOU'RE KID DANGER.
KID DA-- I WISH.
KID DA-- I WISH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
I WISH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
YEAH.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
HENRY.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
HENRY.
OKAY.
HENRY.
OKAY.
THIS IS REALLY BIG OKAY.
THIS IS REALLY BIG WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
THIS IS REALLY BIG WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? SHUT UP.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? SHUT UP.
JUST SHUT UP.
JUST JUST JUST JUST I'M KID DANGER.
JUST I'M KID DANGER.
I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
I'M KID DANGER.
I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
JUST PROMISE ME I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
I PROMISE.
YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
I PROMISE.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I PROMISE.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I TOOK AN OATH THA NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I TOOK AN OATH THA I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I TOOK AN OATH THA I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I SWEAR.
I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I SWEAR.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
I SWEAR.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
THANKS.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
THANKS.
CAN I TELL JASPER? THANKS.
CAN I TELL JASPER? NO! WHA? CAN I TELL JASPER? NO! WHA? WE'RE LIVE NO! WHA? WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
RAY? [ CLEARS THROAT .]
RAY? HENRY.
RAY? HENRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW HENRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? NO.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? NO.
CAN I TALK TO YOU NO.
CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING? CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING? BABIES COME FROM ABOUT SOMETHING? BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE.
BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
THE BABY STORE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
OH.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
OH.
WHEW.
OH.
WHEW.
WHAT'S UP? WHEW.
WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? YEAH.
YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? YEAH.
YEAH, WELL, YEAH.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
AND SHE SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
AND SHE KIND OF FIGURED OUT AND SHE KIND OF FIGURED OUT FIGURED OUT WHAT? KIND OF FIGURED OUT FIGURED OUT WHAT? THAT FIGURED OUT WHAT? THAT I'M KID DANGER.
THAT I'M KID DANGER.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? I'M KID DANGER.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? YEAH.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? THAT I AM WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? THAT I AM KID DANGER.
THAT I AM KID DANGER.
OH.
KID DANGER.
OH.
INTERESTING.
OH.
INTERESTING.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? INTERESTING.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? MAD? NO.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? MAD? NO.
COOL.
MAD? NO.
COOL.
YOU'RE FIRED.
COOL.
YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED? YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED? THAT'S RIGHT.
FIRED? THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH ON THE TABLE THERE.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH ON THE TABLE THERE.
BUT I SWEAR ON THE TABLE THERE.
BUT I SWEAR I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
BUT I SWEAR I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
HENRY SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
HENRY YOU TOOK AN OATH.
HENRY YOU TOOK AN OATH.
I KNOW, BUT YOU TOOK AN OATH.
I KNOW, BUT YOU PROMISED ME I KNOW, BUT YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
YES IT CAN.
IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
YES IT CAN.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE YES IT CAN.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE AND READ THE FORTUNE.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE AND READ THE FORTUNE.
"WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, AND READ THE FORTUNE.
"WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" "WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" LET'S NOT ARGUE IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" LET'S NOT ARGUE WITH THE CHINESE.
LET'S NOT ARGUE WITH THE CHINESE.
GOODBYE, HENRY.
WITH THE CHINESE.
GOODBYE, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN FIRED YOU? CAP? MM-HMM.
BUT MM-HMM.
BUT BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL BUT BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I BROKE MY OATH.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I BROKE MY OATH.
WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
I BROKE MY OATH.
WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
HOW? WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
HOW? I DON'T KNOW.
HOW? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING I DON'T KNOW.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THE ANSWER BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THE ANSWER AT THE BOTTOM TO FIND THE ANSWER AT THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
AT THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
JASPER WAS RIGHT.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
JASPER WAS RIGHT.
ABOUT WHAT? JASPER WAS RIGHT.
ABOUT WHAT? I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
ABOUT WHAT? I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I FEEL AWFUL.
CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S COOL.
I FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S COOL.
I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
IT'S COOL.
I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
I GOT MY TICKET I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE WAY TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE WAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR THE WAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT FIRED TODAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT FIRED TODAY BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF I GOT FIRED TODAY BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF ALL YOUR FAULT BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF ALL YOUR FAULT PIPER! ALL YOUR FAULT PIPER! PIPER! PIPER! PIPER! WHAT? PIPER! WHAT? I FINISHED WHAT? I FINISHED DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! I FINISHED DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! GOOD! DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! GOOD! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! GOOD! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU SOME MORE QUINOA! NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU SOME MORE QUINOA! HURRY! SOME MORE QUINOA! HURRY! UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! HURRY! UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! [ PHONE RINGING .]
UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! [ PHONE RINGING .]
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? [ PHONE RINGING .]
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? HENRY.
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? HENRY.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK HENRY.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
NO.
RIGHT NOW.
NO.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
NO.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
DID I ASK YOU I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? NO.
WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? NO.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK NO.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
[ PIPER SCREAMS .]
RIGHT NOW.
[ PIPER SCREAMS .]
HENRY! [ PIPER SCREAMS .]
HENRY! [ SIGHS .]
HENRY! [ SIGHS .]
WHAT? [ SIGHS .]
WHAT? WERE YOU WHAT? WERE YOU IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? WERE YOU IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET.
YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET.
OH.
IN THE TOILET.
OH.
SORRY.
OH.
SORRY.
SORRY? SORRY.
SORRY? ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
SORRY? ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
I'M JASPER.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
I'M JASPER.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING I'M JASPER.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF MOM CATCHES YOU TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF MOM CATCHES YOU WEARING HER MAKEUP.
IF MOM CATCHES YOU WEARING HER MAKEUP.
MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
WEARING HER MAKEUP.
MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
WHAT CLUB? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
WHAT CLUB? CLUB ELEVEN.
WHAT CLUB? CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, YOU GOT TO BE CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, YOU GOT TO BE AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD WELL, YOU GOT TO BE AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TONIGHT.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TONIGHT.
SEE? TONIGHT.
SEE? THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
SEE? THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
DUH.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
DUH.
I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
DUH.
I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
OH YEAH.
MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
OH YEAH.
NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? OH YEAH.
NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? LATER.
ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? LATER.
I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
LATER.
I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
HENRY! I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
HENRY! SO HENRY! SO TOO BAD YOU LOS SO TOO BAD YOU LOS THAT VIDEO OF ME.
TOO BAD YOU LOS THAT VIDEO OF ME.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING THAT VIDEO OF ME.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU DRESSED UP LIKE THA ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU DRESSED UP LIKE THA WEARING MAKEUP, DRESSED UP LIKE THA WEARING MAKEUP, FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
WEARING MAKEUP, FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHATEVER I SAY.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHATEVER I SAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHATEVER I SAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHAT'S GOING ON? THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHAT'S GOING ON? CHECK OUT THAT GUY WHAT'S GOING ON? CHECK OUT THAT GUY STANDING BY THE GROOM.
CHECK OUT THAT GUY STANDING BY THE GROOM.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? STANDING BY THE GROOM.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? YEAH.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? YEAH.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
YEAH.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
WHOA.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
WHOA.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
WHOA.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
IT IS HIM.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
IT IS HIM.
NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR IT IS HIM.
NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK KID DANGER.
AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK KID DANGER.
WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? KID DANGER.
WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? ANYBODY WATCHING? WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? ANYBODY WATCHING? NO, WHY? ANYBODY WATCHING? NO, WHY? WHOA.
NO, WHY? WHOA.
HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME WHOA.
HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? JUST FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? JUST JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? JUST JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, TAKE HE, CLAUDE, AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, TAKE HE, CLAUDE, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY TAKE HE, CLAUDE, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH CAN STAND IT? AS LONG AS YOU BOTH CAN STAND IT? I DO.
CAN STAND IT? I DO.
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
I DO.
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CROWD GASPS .]
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CROWD GASPS .]
WHAT'S HE DOING? [ CROWD GASPS .]
WHAT'S HE DOING? IT'S THAT KID.
WHAT'S HE DOING? IT'S THAT KID.
THAT'S KID DANGER.
IT'S THAT KID.
THAT'S KID DANGER.
YOUNG MAN THAT'S KID DANGER.
YOUNG MAN THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
YOUNG MAN THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
I KNOW.
THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
I KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO SHOW I KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT HAIRLESS GUY I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT HAIRLESS GUY MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT HAIRLESS GUY MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
COME ON.
THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
COME ON.
YEAH.
COME ON.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
COME ON, YEAH, MM.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
COME ON, YEAH, MM.
GOT TO LOVE THA COME ON, YEAH, MM.
GOT TO LOVE THA NEW PHONE SMELL.
GOT TO LOVE THA NEW PHONE SMELL.
YEAH.
NEW PHONE SMELL.
YEAH.
COME ON.
YEAH.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
GIVE IT TO ME! COME ON.
GIVE IT TO ME! CATCH IT! GIVE IT TO ME! CATCH IT! GIVE ME THE PHONE! CATCH IT! GIVE ME THE PHONE! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GIVE ME THE PHONE! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GET HIM! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GET HIM! [ SCREAMS .]
GET HIM! [ SCREAMS .]
HE'S INSANE! [ SCREAMS .]
HE'S INSANE! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! HE'S INSANE! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! [ SNARLING .]
SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! [ SNARLING .]
HEY! HEY! [ SNARLING .]
HEY! HEY! COME ON! HEY! HEY! COME ON! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON, COME AND GET IT! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON, COME AND GET IT! [ SCREAMS .]
COME ON, COME AND GET IT! [ SCREAMS .]
THE PRESENTS! [ SCREAMS .]
THE PRESENTS! YEAH, SHARK DOWN! KID DANGER, HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO LOCATE AND FINALLY APPREHEND THE PHONE SHARK? WELL, I'D LOVE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT, BUT IT WAS REALLY MY BOSS, CAPTAIN MAN WHO MADE IT ALL HAPPEN.
INTERESTING.
CAN YOU TELL US MORE? NO.
YOU GAVE ME ALL THE CREDIT.
WELL, EVERYONE'S BEEN GIVING YOU A HARD TIME WELL, EVERYONE'S BEEN GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT NOT CATCHING GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT NOT CATCHING THE PHONE SHARK.
ABOUT NOT CATCHING THE PHONE SHARK.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
THE PHONE SHARK.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
EXCUSE ME.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
EXCUSE ME.
I'M THE ONE EXCUSE ME.
I'M THE ONE WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
I'M THE ONE WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
UGH.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
UGH.
CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
UGH.
CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT'S THAT? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT'S THAT? GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
WHAT'S THAT? GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
YOU GUYS NEED ME.
GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
YOU GUYS NEED ME.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW YOU GUYS NEED ME.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, I FIGURED HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, I FIGURED NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH WELL, I FIGURED NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? OKAY.
CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? OKAY.
SO I STARTED CALLING OKAY.
SO I STARTED CALLING EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW SO I STARTED CALLING EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW UNTIL I FOUND ONE EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW UNTIL I FOUND ONE WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN UNTIL I FOUND ONE WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED SOME DENTISTS.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED SOME DENTISTS.
TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
SOME DENTISTS.
TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
THEN I HACKED INTO TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
THEN I HACKED INTO THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, THEN I HACKED INTO THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, GOT THE GUY'S NAME, THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, GOT THE GUY'S NAME, AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
GOT THE GUY'S NAME, AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, "OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, "OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
"OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S GOOD.
AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S GOOD.
SHE IS.
SHE'S GOOD.
SHE IS.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU SHE IS.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU AROUND HERE.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU AROUND HERE.
US? AROUND HERE.
US? OH, RIGHT.
US? OH, RIGHT.
YOU FIRED ME.
OH, RIGHT.
YOU FIRED ME.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
YOU FIRED ME.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
YES.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
OH, RIGHT.
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
OH, RIGHT.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OH, RIGHT.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT CHARLOTTE? AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT CHARLOTTE? DAH ABOUT CHARLOTTE? DAH WELL, SHE KNOWS DAH WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU'RE KID DANGER, WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU'RE KID DANGER, SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, YOU'RE KID DANGER, SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER DOWN HERE.
IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER DOWN HERE.
SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? DOWN HERE.
SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? THAT WE EITHER SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? THAT WE EITHER HAVE TO KILL YOU, THAT WE EITHER HAVE TO KILL YOU, ERASE YOUR BRAIN, HAVE TO KILL YOU, ERASE YOUR BRAIN, OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
ERASE YOUR BRAIN, OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
I VOTE JOB.
OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
I VOTE JOB.
WE CAN REALLY I VOTE JOB.
WE CAN REALLY ERASE HER BRAIN? WE CAN REALLY ERASE HER BRAIN? DUDE.
ERASE HER BRAIN? DUDE.
ALL RIGHT, DUDE.
ALL RIGHT, SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
ALL RIGHT, SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
AWESOME.
SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
AWESOME.
IF AWESOME.
IF SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
IF SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
[ GRUNTING .]
SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
[ GRUNTING .]
THANKS, BORK.
[ GRUNTING .]
THANKS, BORK.
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
THANKS, BORK.
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
[ GRUNTING .]
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
[ GRUNTING .]
CHARLOTTE [ GRUNTING .]
CHARLOTTE YOU MUST NOW PROVE CHARLOTTE YOU MUST NOW PROVE YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH YOU MUST NOW PROVE YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
NOT YOU TWO.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
NOT YOU TWO.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NOT YOU TWO.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY, LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
OKAY, LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
NOW LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
NOW TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, NOW TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? WAIT, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? YEAH.
YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? YEAH.
HUG ME.
YEAH.
HUG ME.
JUST TRUST ME.
HUG ME.
JUST TRUST ME.
WHOA.
JUST TRUST ME.
WHOA.
UP THE TUBE! WHOA.
UP THE TUBE! [ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
UP THE TUBE! [ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
YEAH.
[ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
YEAH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
YEAH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
NO.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
NO.
THIS PEDICURE IS OVER.
MRS.
HART! WANT TO SEE A VIDEO OF YOUR DAUGHTER? SHH.
I'M SQUEEZING, I'M SQUEEZING.
[ OVEN BELL .]
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
HERE I COME.
NO YOU DON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU DON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU WON'T.
I'M GOING TO GET YOU.
NO YOU WON'T.
HEY, GUYS.
NO YOU WON'T.
HEY, GUYS.
YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
HEY, GUYS.
YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
QUIET! YOU GOT TO CHECK THIS OUT.
QUIET! WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
QUIET! WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
NO PROBLEM.
WE'RE PLAYING A GAME.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
NO PROBLEM.
I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
HEY, HEY, HEY! I'LL TAKE OVER YOUR SCREEN.
HEY, HEY, HEY! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! HEY, HEY, HEY! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHAT VIDEO? JUST WATCH THE VIDEO.
WHAT VIDEO? IT'S FROM THE NEWS WHAT VIDEO? IT'S FROM THE NEWS LAST NIGHT.
IT'S FROM THE NEWS LAST NIGHT.
IT'S CALLED LAST NIGHT.
IT'S CALLED "CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" IT'S CALLED "CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" OOH, PLAY IT.
"CAPTAIN MAN'S BIG FAIL.
" OOH, PLAY IT.
HEY, LOOK.
OOH, PLAY IT.
HEY, LOOK.
MY BELLY BUTTON.
HEY, LOOK.
MY BELLY BUTTON.
PLAY THE VIDEO.
WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS STRUCK AGAIN.
THIS TIME THE PHONE SHARK BIT THROUGH A DOZEN PEOPLE'S CELL PHONES, THEN FLED THE SCENE, ONCE AGAIN ESCAPING CAPTURE FROM CAPTAIN MAN.
CAPTAIN MAN, ISN'T IT TRUE THAT THE PHONE SHARK HAS BEEN ATTACKING PEOPLE'S PHONES FOR OVER A YEAR NOW? YES, THAT IS TRUE.
SO, WHY DON'T YOU CATCH HIM? WELL, KID DANGER AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING.
BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
AW.
I FEEL BAD FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
IT'S NOT CAPTAIN MAN'S FAULT.
HE JUST NEEDS A BETTER SIDEKICK.
ONE MORE TIME? JUST SAYING, I'D BE WAY BETTER AT CATCHING BAD GUYS THAN KID DANGER.
YOU COULDN'T CATCH BUTT WARTS.
OH, YES HE COULD.
REMEMBER FIFTH GRADE? THAT WAS A RASH.
BIG DIFFERENCE.
WHATEVER.
I THINK KID DANGER DOES A GREAT JOB.
WHY ARE YOU GETTING ALL MAD? BECAUSE JASPER'S BEING UNFAIR.
AND I THINK IT'S UNFAIR TO CRITICIZE THAT, THAT KID DANGER GUY, WHEN HE'S PROBABLY DOING THE BEST HE CAN.
AND PEOPLE SHOULD BE FAIR, YOU KNOW? FAIRNESS.
I'M PRO FAIR.
JASPER.
WHAT? GET UP.
WHY SHOULD I? BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO CARRY ME TO MY FRIEND MARLA'S HOUSE.
I'M NOT GOING TO CARRY YOU.
I AIN'T NO HORSE.
FINE.
THEN I'LL JUST UPLOAD THIS VIDEO SO THE WHOLE WORLD CAN SEE IT.
VIDEO OF WHAT? HIM TRYING TO SING "THE CUP SONG.
" I NEVER DID THAT.
WHY WOULD I DO THAT? I NEVER DID THAT.
WATCH.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTT-- DANG IT.
I'LL NEVER BE PITCH PERFECT.
OKAY, STOP IT.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
TURN IT OFF.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? TURN IT OFF.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
WHERE DID YOU GET THAT WIG? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW.
HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED HOW DID YOU GET THAT VIDEO? SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED MY THUMB DRIVE.
SHE MUST HAVE SWIPED MY THUMB DRIVE.
MAYBE I DID.
MY THUMB DRIVE.
MAYBE I DID.
OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
MAYBE I DID.
OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO OOH, YOU'RE SO BAD.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
PIPER, YOU BETTER NO PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
OH, I WON'T.
PUT THAT VIDEO ONLINE.
OH, I WON'T.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME OH, I WON'T.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
AS LONG AS HE CARRIES ME TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
NO.
TO MARLA'S HOUSE.
NO.
I GOT MY TICKET NO.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND OKAY, FINE.
FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND OKAY, FINE.
GET ON MY BACK.
OKAY, FINE.
GET ON MY BACK.
GET ON ME.
GET ON MY BACK.
GET ON ME.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, GET ON ME.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
IF HE GOES TOO SLOW, JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
NO.
JUST KICK HIM IN THE SIDE.
NO.
OW.
NO.
OW.
HYAH.
OW.
HYAH.
HYAH.
HYAH.
HYAH.
[ WATCH BEEPING .]
HYAH.
[ WATCH BEEPING .]
YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING [ WATCH BEEPING .]
YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YEAH, I'VE BEEN MEANING TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? TO ASK YOU, WHY DOES YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? IT JUST MEANS YOUR NEW WATCH BEEP LIKE THAT? IT JUST MEANS THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
IT JUST MEANS THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
BYE.
THEY NEED ME AT WORK.
BYE.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
BYE.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
BUT IT'S SUNDAY.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
RIGHT.
JUNK-N-STUFF IS CLOSED.
RIGHT.
I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
RIGHT.
I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP I BETTER GO TELL THE CUSTOMERS.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP WITH THAT BOY.
THERE IS SOMETHING UP WITH THAT BOY.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
WITH THAT BOY.
IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS IT ALL JUST KIND OF HAPPENED.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
MY DAD WAS AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AN IRRESPONSIBLE SCIENTIST.
I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, I WANTED AN AFTER-SCHOOL JOB.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AND BY ACCIDENT, HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! HE MADE ME INDESTRUCTIBLE.
AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AH! I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME I WENT INTO THIS CRAZY STORE AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
AND ME A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
A PRETTY INTERESTING GUY.
I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC I'M GOING TO BLOW YOUR MIND.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
NOW I PROTEC THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
YOU'LL CALL ME THE GOOD CITIZENS OF SWELLVIEW.
YOU'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU'LL CALL ME HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
HE TURNED OUT TO BE YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
YOU KNOW THE NAME.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN.
THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA THAT'S RIGHT, HENRY.
IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IN TIME, I REALIZED THA BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
BEING A SUPERHERO IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
IS A LOT TO HANDLE ALONE.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
HE WANTED SOME HELP.
I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART I NEEDED A SIDEKICK.
I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER I, HENRY HART PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE PLEDGE TO NEVER EVER EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S TELL ANYONE THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
THAT I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
SECRET SIDEKICK.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
IT IS DONE.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
NOW WE BLOW BUBBLES.
AND FIGHT CRIME.
FEELS GOOD.
CALL IT.
UP THE TUBE! OH, MY BOOT.
HA! I'M SO TIRED.
O TIRED.
UGH, QUIT WHINING.
IT WAS ONLY FOUR MILES.
FOUR MILES THERE AND FOUR MILES BACK.
JUST TAKE ME UP TO MY ROOM.
[ GRUNTING .]
I'M GOING TO DIE.
NOT IN THE HOUSE.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, DO IT OUTSIDE.
IF YOU'RE GOING TO DIE, DO IT OUTSIDE.
YOU'RE HOME LATE.
DO IT OUTSIDE.
YOU'RE HOME LATE.
WHAT ARE YOU YOU'RE HOME LATE.
WHAT ARE YOU HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHAT ARE YOU HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? HOW DID YOU GET IN MY HOUSE? WHY ARE YOU HERE? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
WHY ARE YOU HERE? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
OF WHAT? BECAUSE I'M SUSPICIOUS.
OF WHAT? WHY DID YOU OF WHAT? WHY DID YOU CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? WHY DID YOU CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR CLIMB IN YOUR WINDOW? BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
BECAUSE THE FRONT DOOR WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS WAS LOCKED AND I FORGOT MY KEY.
YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY YOU KNOW YOUR PARENTS ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
ALWAYS LEAVE A SPARE KEY UNDER THE MAT.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
UNDER THE MAT.
I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I LIKE YOUR SHIRT.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WORKING.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? WORKING.
YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
WORKING.
YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
REALLY? YOU KNOW, JUST WORKING.
REALLY? BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
REALLY? BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
BECAUSE I CALLED JUNK-N-STUFF.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
OKAY.
NOBODY ANSWERED.
OKAY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW OKAY.
YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN? YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN? YEAH.
WHERE I'VE BEEN? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
YOU WANT THE TRUTH? YEAH.
I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
YEAH.
I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, I'M A JAZZ MUSICIAN.
I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ I DON'T TELL A LOT OF PEOPLE, BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ AND THE ONLY TIME BUT SECRETLY, I PLAY JAZZ AND THE ONLY TIME THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN AND THE ONLY TIME THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN IS LATE AT NIGHT, THE JAZZ CLUBS ARE OPEN IS LATE AT NIGHT, SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS IS LATE AT NIGHT, SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS AT A JAZZ CLUB SO THAT'S WHERE I WAS AT A JAZZ CLUB BLOWING JAZZ AT A JAZZ CLUB BLOWING JAZZ ON MY HORN.
BLOWING JAZZ ON MY HORN.
[ SNIFFING .]
ON MY HORN.
[ SNIFFING .]
HMM.
[ SNIFFING .]
HMM.
WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? HMM.
WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH WHY DID YOU SNIFF MY HAIR? I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER I HEARD ON THE NEWS TONIGH THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER PUT OUT A FIRE THAT CAPTAIN MAN AND KID DANGER PUT OUT A FIRE AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
PUT OUT A FIRE AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
OH, DID THEY? AT A SYRUP FACTORY.
OH, DID THEY? YEAH.
OH, DID THEY? YEAH.
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
YEAH.
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
[ SNIFFING .]
AND YOUR HAIR SMELLS LIKE SYRUP.
[ SNIFFING .]
IT DOES.
[ SNIFFING .]
IT DOES.
I WONDER WHY.
IT DOES.
I WONDER WHY.
MAYBE BECAUSE I WONDER WHY.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE KID DANGER.
MAYBE BECAUSE YOU'RE KID DANGER.
KID DA-- YOU'RE KID DANGER.
KID DA-- I WISH.
KID DA-- I WISH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
I WISH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
THAT WOULD BE NICE, YOU KNOW.
YEAH.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
YEAH.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
HENRY.
AND I GUESS YOU MUST BE BEYONCE.
HENRY.
OKAY.
HENRY.
OKAY.
THIS IS REALLY BIG OKAY.
THIS IS REALLY BIG WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
THIS IS REALLY BIG WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? WHAT I'M ABOUT TO TELL YOU.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? SHUT UP.
WHAT, THAT YOU'RE KID DANGER? SHUT UP.
JUST SHUT UP.
JUST JUST JUST JUST I'M KID DANGER.
JUST I'M KID DANGER.
I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
I'M KID DANGER.
I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
JUST PROMISE ME I KNOW.
I FIGURED THAT OUT.
JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
JUST PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
I PROMISE.
YOU'LL NEVER TELL ANYONE.
I PROMISE.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I PROMISE.
NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I TOOK AN OATH THA NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I TOOK AN OATH THA I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I TOOK AN OATH THA I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I'D NEVER TELL ANYONE THA I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I SWEAR.
I'M CAPTAIN MAN'S SIDEKICK.
I SWEAR.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
I SWEAR.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
THANKS.
I'M NEVER GOING TO TELL.
THANKS.
CAN I TELL JASPER? THANKS.
CAN I TELL JASPER? NO! WHA? CAN I TELL JASPER? NO! WHA? WE'RE LIVE NO! WHA? WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WE'RE LIVE IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- IN DOWNTOWN SWELLVIEW WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
WHERE THE PHONE SHARK HAS-- BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? BUT YOU KEEP FAILING.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
DOESN'T THAT BUG YOU? YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
RAY? [ CLEARS THROAT .]
RAY? HENRY.
RAY? HENRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW HENRY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? YOU WERE WORKING TODAY.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? NO.
DID I BUTT BEEP YOU? NO.
CAN I TALK TO YOU NO.
CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING? CAN I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING? BABIES COME FROM ABOUT SOMETHING? BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE.
BABIES COME FROM THE BABY STORE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
THE BABY STORE.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
OH.
IT'S NOT ABOUT THAT.
OH.
WHEW.
OH.
WHEW.
WHAT'S UP? WHEW.
WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? WHAT'S UP? YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? YEAH.
YOU KNOW MY FRIEND CHARLOTTE? YEAH.
YEAH, WELL, YEAH.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
YEAH, WELL, SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
AND SHE SHE'S, LIKE, REALLY SMART.
AND SHE KIND OF FIGURED OUT AND SHE KIND OF FIGURED OUT FIGURED OUT WHAT? KIND OF FIGURED OUT FIGURED OUT WHAT? THAT FIGURED OUT WHAT? THAT I'M KID DANGER.
THAT I'M KID DANGER.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? I'M KID DANGER.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? YEAH.
ISN'T THAT KOOKY? YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? YEAH.
WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? THAT I AM WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? THAT I AM KID DANGER.
THAT I AM KID DANGER.
OH.
KID DANGER.
OH.
INTERESTING.
OH.
INTERESTING.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? INTERESTING.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? MAD? NO.
YOU'RE NOT MAD, RIGHT? MAD? NO.
COOL.
MAD? NO.
COOL.
YOU'RE FIRED.
COOL.
YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED? YOU'RE FIRED.
FIRED? THAT'S RIGHT.
FIRED? THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH ON THE TABLE THERE.
YOU CAN LEAVE YOUR WATCH ON THE TABLE THERE.
BUT I SWEAR ON THE TABLE THERE.
BUT I SWEAR I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
BUT I SWEAR I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
I DIDN'T WANT TO TELL HER.
SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
HENRY SHE FIGURED IT OUT.
HENRY YOU TOOK AN OATH.
HENRY YOU TOOK AN OATH.
I KNOW, BUT YOU TOOK AN OATH.
I KNOW, BUT YOU PROMISED ME I KNOW, BUT YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
AND I TRUSTED YOU TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, TO KEEP THAT PROMISE.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
YES IT CAN.
IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
YES IT CAN.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE YES IT CAN.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE AND READ THE FORTUNE.
OPEN THIS FORTUNE COOKIE AND READ THE FORTUNE.
"WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, AND READ THE FORTUNE.
"WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" "WHEN TRUST IS BROKEN, IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" LET'S NOT ARGUE IT CAN NEVER BE FIXED.
" LET'S NOT ARGUE WITH THE CHINESE.
LET'S NOT ARGUE WITH THE CHINESE.
GOODBYE, HENRY.
WITH THE CHINESE.
GOODBYE, HENRY.
CAPTAIN MAN FIRED YOU? CAP? MM-HMM.
BUT MM-HMM.
BUT BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL BUT BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
BUT IT'S NOT YOUR FAUL I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I FIGURED OUT YOU'RE KID DANGER.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I BROKE MY OATH.
DOESN'T MATTER.
I BROKE MY OATH.
WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
I BROKE MY OATH.
WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
HOW? WELL, YOU GOT TO FIX THIS.
HOW? I DON'T KNOW.
HOW? I DON'T KNOW.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING I DON'T KNOW.
BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THE ANSWER BUT YOU'RE NOT GOING TO FIND THE ANSWER AT THE BOTTOM TO FIND THE ANSWER AT THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
AT THE BOTTOM OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
OF A BOTTLE OF CHOCOLATE.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
JASPER WAS RIGHT.
I WON'T KNOW IF I DON'T LOOK.
JASPER WAS RIGHT.
ABOUT WHAT? JASPER WAS RIGHT.
ABOUT WHAT? I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
ABOUT WHAT? I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN I WAS A LAME KID DANGER.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I COULDN'T EVEN HELP CAPTAIN MAN CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I FEEL AWFUL.
CATCH THE STUPID PHONE SHARK.
I FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S COOL.
I FEEL AWFUL.
IT'S COOL.
I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
IT'S COOL.
I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
I GOT MY TICKET I STILL GOT MY JAZZ.
I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND I GOT MY TICKET FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE LONG WAY ROUND TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE WAY TWO BOTTLES CHOCOLATE FOR THE WAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE FOR THE WAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT FIRED TODAY AND I CAN'T BELIEVE I GOT FIRED TODAY BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF I GOT FIRED TODAY BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF ALL YOUR FAULT BUT I DID AND IT'S KIND OF ALL YOUR FAULT PIPER! ALL YOUR FAULT PIPER! PIPER! PIPER! PIPER! WHAT? PIPER! WHAT? I FINISHED WHAT? I FINISHED DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! I FINISHED DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! GOOD! DOING YOUR LAUNDRY! GOOD! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! GOOD! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! BRING ME SOME QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! YOU ATE ALL THE QUINOA! THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE THEN GO BUY MORE QUINOA! OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO OR ELSE I'LL GET MY PHONE AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU AND UPLOAD THE VIDEO SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" SO EVERYBODY CAN SEE YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU TRY TO SING "THE CUP SONG!" NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU SOME MORE QUINOA! NO, I'LL GO BUY YOU SOME MORE QUINOA! HURRY! SOME MORE QUINOA! HURRY! UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! HURRY! UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! [ PHONE RINGING .]
UGH, YOU'RE SO BAD! [ PHONE RINGING .]
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? [ PHONE RINGING .]
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? HENRY.
HEY CHAR, WHAT'S UP? HENRY.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK HENRY.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
NO.
RIGHT NOW.
NO.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
NO.
I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
DID I ASK YOU I'M NOT IN THE MOOD FOR TREES.
DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? DID I ASK YOU WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? NO.
WHAT YOU'RE IN THE MOOD FOR? NO.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK NO.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
COME TO SWELLVIEW PARK RIGHT NOW.
[ PIPER SCREAMS .]
RIGHT NOW.
[ PIPER SCREAMS .]
HENRY! [ PIPER SCREAMS .]
HENRY! [ SIGHS .]
HENRY! [ SIGHS .]
WHAT? [ SIGHS .]
WHAT? WERE YOU WHAT? WERE YOU IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? WERE YOU IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM? IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IS THAT MAKEUP ON YOUR FACE? YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET.
YOU KNOCKED MY PHONE IN THE TOILET.
OH.
IN THE TOILET.
OH.
SORRY.
OH.
SORRY.
SORRY? SORRY.
SORRY? ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
SORRY? ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
ALL MY TEXTS AND PICS ARE GONE.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
I'M JASPER.
AND MY VIDEO OF JASPER.
I'M JASPER.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING I'M JASPER.
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF MOM CATCHES YOU TO BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE IF MOM CATCHES YOU WEARING HER MAKEUP.
IF MOM CATCHES YOU WEARING HER MAKEUP.
MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
WEARING HER MAKEUP.
MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING MOM'S NOT GOING TO FIND OUT.
BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
DRESSED UP LIKE THAT? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
WHAT CLUB? TO A CLUB WITH MY GIRLS.
WHAT CLUB? CLUB ELEVEN.
WHAT CLUB? CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, YOU GOT TO BE CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, YOU GOT TO BE AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD WELL, YOU GOT TO BE AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
AT LEAST 10 YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TO GET INTO CLUB ELEVEN.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TONIGHT.
WELL, I'M ELEVEN YEARS OLD TONIGHT.
SEE? TONIGHT.
SEE? THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
SEE? THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
THIS ISN'T YOUR LIBRARY CARD.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
DUH.
IT'S MINDY FLAVIN'S.
DUH.
I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
DUH.
I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE I BOUGHT IT OFF HER.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
WELL, YOU BETTER HOPE MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
OH YEAH.
MOM AND DAD DON'T FIND OUT.
OH YEAH.
NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? OH YEAH.
NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW WHO'S GOT THE UPPER FOOT? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? NOW, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? LATER.
ABOUT MY DAMP PHONE? LATER.
I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
LATER.
I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
HENRY! I GOT TO GO MEET CHARLOTTE.
HENRY! SO HENRY! SO TOO BAD YOU LOS SO TOO BAD YOU LOS THAT VIDEO OF ME.
TOO BAD YOU LOS THAT VIDEO OF ME.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING THAT VIDEO OF ME.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
BECAUSE I AIN'T GOING TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? TO LOSE THIS VIDEO OF YOU.
WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD WHAT ARE YOU YAMMING ABOUT? I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU I BET YOUR MOM AND DAD ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU DRESSED UP LIKE THA ARE GOING TO LOVE SEEING YOU DRESSED UP LIKE THA WEARING MAKEUP, DRESSED UP LIKE THA WEARING MAKEUP, FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
WEARING MAKEUP, FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS FLASHING YOUR FAKE I.
D.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
TO GO CLUBBING WITH YOUR GIRLS BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO BEHIND THEIR BACKS.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHATEVER I SAY.
NOW YOU'RE GOING TO DO WHATEVER I SAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHATEVER I SAY.
THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHAT'S GOING ON? THIS IS NOT OKAY! WHAT'S GOING ON? CHECK OUT THAT GUY WHAT'S GOING ON? CHECK OUT THAT GUY STANDING BY THE GROOM.
CHECK OUT THAT GUY STANDING BY THE GROOM.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? STANDING BY THE GROOM.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? YEAH.
THE GUY WITH THE CRAZY TEETH? YEAH.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
YEAH.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
WHOA.
HE'S THE PHONE SHARK.
WHOA.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
WHOA.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
IT IS HIM.
THAT DOES LOOK LIKE HIM.
IT IS HIM.
NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR IT IS HIM.
NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK NOW, DO CAPTAIN MAN A FAVOR AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK KID DANGER.
AND GO CATCH THE PHONE SHARK KID DANGER.
WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? KID DANGER.
WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? ANYBODY WATCHING? WHAT UP WITH THE GUM? ANYBODY WATCHING? NO, WHY? ANYBODY WATCHING? NO, WHY? WHOA.
NO, WHY? WHOA.
HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME WHOA.
HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? HOW DOES THAT WHOLE COSTUME FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? JUST FIT INSIDE ONE LITTLE GUM BALL? JUST JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? JUST JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, JUST WAIT THERE, ALL RIGHT? AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, TAKE HE, CLAUDE, AND NOW, DO THEE, SHIRLEY, TAKE HE, CLAUDE, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY TAKE HE, CLAUDE, TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND TO BE YOUR LAWFULLY WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, WEDDED HUSBAND IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, IN SICKNESS AND IN HEALTH, IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH IN FITNESS AND OBESITY, AS LONG AS YOU BOTH CAN STAND IT? AS LONG AS YOU BOTH CAN STAND IT? I DO.
CAN STAND IT? I DO.
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
I DO.
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CROWD GASPS .]
HEY, CONGRATULATIONS.
[ CROWD GASPS .]
WHAT'S HE DOING? [ CROWD GASPS .]
WHAT'S HE DOING? IT'S THAT KID.
WHAT'S HE DOING? IT'S THAT KID.
THAT'S KID DANGER.
IT'S THAT KID.
THAT'S KID DANGER.
YOUNG MAN THAT'S KID DANGER.
YOUNG MAN THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
YOUNG MAN THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
I KNOW.
THIS WEDDING ISN'T OVER.
I KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO SHOW I KNOW.
I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT HAIRLESS GUY I JUST WANTED TO SHOW THAT HAIRLESS GUY MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT HAIRLESS GUY MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
MY BRAND NEW PHONE THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
COME ON.
THAT'S NEVER BEEN BITTEN.
COME ON.
YEAH.
COME ON.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
YEAH.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
COME ON, YEAH, MM.
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO BITE IT.
COME ON, YEAH, MM.
GOT TO LOVE THA COME ON, YEAH, MM.
GOT TO LOVE THA NEW PHONE SMELL.
GOT TO LOVE THA NEW PHONE SMELL.
YEAH.
NEW PHONE SMELL.
YEAH.
COME ON.
YEAH.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
COME ON.
GIVE IT TO ME! COME ON.
GIVE IT TO ME! CATCH IT! GIVE IT TO ME! CATCH IT! GIVE ME THE PHONE! CATCH IT! GIVE ME THE PHONE! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GIVE ME THE PHONE! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GET HIM! HE'S THE PHONE SHARK! GET HIM! [ SCREAMS .]
GET HIM! [ SCREAMS .]
HE'S INSANE! [ SCREAMS .]
HE'S INSANE! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! HE'S INSANE! SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! [ SNARLING .]
SOMEONE CALL THE COPS! [ SNARLING .]
HEY! HEY! [ SNARLING .]
HEY! HEY! COME ON! HEY! HEY! COME ON! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON, COME AND GET IT! COME ON, PHONE SHARK! COME ON, COME AND GET IT! [ SCREAMS .]
COME ON, COME AND GET IT! [ SCREAMS .]
THE PRESENTS! [ SCREAMS .]
THE PRESENTS! YEAH, SHARK DOWN! KID DANGER, HOW WERE YOU ABLE TO LOCATE AND FINALLY APPREHEND THE PHONE SHARK? WELL, I'D LOVE TO TAKE ALL THE CREDIT, BUT IT WAS REALLY MY BOSS, CAPTAIN MAN WHO MADE IT ALL HAPPEN.
INTERESTING.
CAN YOU TELL US MORE? NO.
YOU GAVE ME ALL THE CREDIT.
WELL, EVERYONE'S BEEN GIVING YOU A HARD TIME WELL, EVERYONE'S BEEN GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT NOT CATCHING GIVING YOU A HARD TIME ABOUT NOT CATCHING THE PHONE SHARK.
ABOUT NOT CATCHING THE PHONE SHARK.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
THE PHONE SHARK.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
EXCUSE ME.
I FIGURED I'D HELP YOU OUT.
EXCUSE ME.
I'M THE ONE EXCUSE ME.
I'M THE ONE WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
I'M THE ONE WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
WHO FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
UGH.
IT'S TRUE, SHE DID.
UGH.
CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
UGH.
CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? CHARLOTTE, CHARLOTTE.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH YOU? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT'S THAT? I THINK IT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS.
WHAT'S THAT? GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
WHAT'S THAT? GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
YOU GUYS NEED ME.
GIVE ME A JOB HERE.
YOU GUYS NEED ME.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW YOU GUYS NEED ME.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
FIRST I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, I FIGURED HOW YOU FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, I FIGURED NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH WELL, I FIGURED NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? NO GUY WITH NORMAL TEETH CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? OKAY.
CAN BITE THROUGH A PHONE, RIGHT? OKAY.
SO I STARTED CALLING OKAY.
SO I STARTED CALLING EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW SO I STARTED CALLING EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW UNTIL I FOUND ONE EVERY DENTIST IN SWELLVIEW UNTIL I FOUND ONE WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN UNTIL I FOUND ONE WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL WHO TOLD ME HE HAD A PATIEN WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WHO ASKED FOR A WHOLE MOUTHFUL OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED OF TITANIUM TEETH.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED SOME DENTISTS.
WE SHOULD'VE CALLED SOME DENTISTS.
TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
SOME DENTISTS.
TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
THEN I HACKED INTO TOTALLY SHOULD'VE.
THEN I HACKED INTO THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, THEN I HACKED INTO THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, GOT THE GUY'S NAME, THE DENTIST'S COMPUTER FILES, GOT THE GUY'S NAME, AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
GOT THE GUY'S NAME, AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
AND SEARCHED HIM ONLINE.
OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, WE SHOULD'VE GONE ONLINE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, WHAT IS WRONG WITH US? OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, "OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING OH, AND HIS LAST UPDATE SAID, "OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
"OFF TO MY BROTHER'S WEDDING IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES IN SWELLVIEW PARK.
HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" HOPE THEY SERVE PHONES FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
FOR DESSERT.
LOL.
" AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S GOOD.
AND THEN SHE CALLED ME.
SHE'S GOOD.
SHE IS.
SHE'S GOOD.
SHE IS.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU SHE IS.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU AROUND HERE.
SHE COULD REALLY HELP US OU AROUND HERE.
US? AROUND HERE.
US? OH, RIGHT.
US? OH, RIGHT.
YOU FIRED ME.
OH, RIGHT.
YOU FIRED ME.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
YOU FIRED ME.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, YOU BROKE THE OATH.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
AND I CAUGHT THE PHONE SHARK.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
COME ON, RAY, HIRE ME BACK.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
YES.
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RE-HIRED.
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
YES.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
[ CLEARS THROAT .]
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
OH, RIGHT.
COUGH, COUGH, COUGH.
OH, RIGHT.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OH, RIGHT.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT CHARLOTTE? AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT CHARLOTTE? DAH ABOUT CHARLOTTE? DAH WELL, SHE KNOWS DAH WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU'RE KID DANGER, WELL, SHE KNOWS YOU'RE KID DANGER, SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, YOU'RE KID DANGER, SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE SHE KNOWS WHO I AM, AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER AND SHE KNOWS WHERE THE MAN CAVE IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER DOWN HERE.
IS BECAUSE YOU BROUGHT HER DOWN HERE.
SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? DOWN HERE.
SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? THAT WE EITHER SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? THAT WE EITHER HAVE TO KILL YOU, THAT WE EITHER HAVE TO KILL YOU, ERASE YOUR BRAIN, HAVE TO KILL YOU, ERASE YOUR BRAIN, OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
ERASE YOUR BRAIN, OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
I VOTE JOB.
OR GIVE YOU A JOB.
I VOTE JOB.
WE CAN REALLY I VOTE JOB.
WE CAN REALLY ERASE HER BRAIN? WE CAN REALLY ERASE HER BRAIN? DUDE.
ERASE HER BRAIN? DUDE.
ALL RIGHT, DUDE.
ALL RIGHT, SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
ALL RIGHT, SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
AWESOME.
SHE CAN HAVE A JOB HERE.
AWESOME.
IF AWESOME.
IF SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
IF SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
[ GRUNTING .]
SHE CAN PASS THE PICKLE TEST.
[ GRUNTING .]
THANKS, BORK.
[ GRUNTING .]
THANKS, BORK.
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
THANKS, BORK.
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
[ GRUNTING .]
NOW, GRUNT AND EXIT.
[ GRUNTING .]
CHARLOTTE [ GRUNTING .]
CHARLOTTE YOU MUST NOW PROVE CHARLOTTE YOU MUST NOW PROVE YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH YOU MUST NOW PROVE YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
YOU'RE CLEVER ENOUGH TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
TO WORK FOR CAPTAIN MAN.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
I FOUND THE PHONE SHARK.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
NOT YOU TWO.
WELL, ANYONE COULD DO THAT.
NOT YOU TWO.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? NOT YOU TWO.
HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY, HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? OKAY, LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
OKAY, LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
NOW LET'S NOT GO THERE AGAIN.
NOW TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, NOW TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE TO PROVE YOUR WORTHINESS, YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK YOU MUST GET THAT PICKLE OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
OUT OF THAT JAR THAT BORK JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? JUST POWER-SCREWED SHUT.
HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HOW MUCH TIME DOES SHE HAVE? EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
EXACTLY FIVE MIN-- HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
HERE'S YOUR PICKLE.
THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? THAT WAS BORK'S FAVORITE JAR.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, IS CHARLOTTE HIRED? YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, YEAH, YEAH, SHE'S HIRED.
WAIT, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? WAIT, YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? YEAH.
YOU WANT TO SEE SOMETHING COOL? YEAH.
HUG ME.
YEAH.
HUG ME.
JUST TRUST ME.
HUG ME.
JUST TRUST ME.
WHOA.
JUST TRUST ME.
WHOA.
UP THE TUBE! WHOA.
UP THE TUBE! [ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
UP THE TUBE! [ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
YEAH.
[ CHARLOTTE SCREAMS .]
YEAH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
YEAH.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
NO.
NOW YOU HAVE TO SQUEEZE MY FOOT.
NO.
THIS PEDICURE IS OVER.
MRS.
HART! WANT TO SEE A VIDEO OF YOUR DAUGHTER? SHH.
I'M SQUEEZING, I'M SQUEEZING.
[ OVEN BELL .]