High Fidelity (2020) s01e03 Episode Script
What Fucking Lily Girl?
1 What fucking Lily girl? Mac doesn't know anyone named Lily.
Last I checked, he lived in a completely Lily-less universe.
How do I know this? Because when he lived here, I knew everyone he knew.
And there wasn't one single Lily.
Not a Lilian, a Lilith, a Delilah.
Not one.
So if Mac does know a Lily in the greater metropolitan area of New York City, he had to have met her in the three weeks he's been back.
So, he's been back for three weeks, and he's met someone already.
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
I mean, three weeks, how serious could it even be? I mean, what do people who have been together for three weeks even do? They have sex.
Just constantly have sex.
Y'all do buybacks, right? Not for family.
Hmm.
- Why you getting rid of these? - Spring cleaning.
Uh, Nikki asked me to clean out the den to set up the nursery.
What, babies don't like music? Babies don't like asthma.
Apparently, the vinyl collects dust.
Maybe if you listened to them more, they'd be less dusty.
Look, I can bring 'em to Lionel at Top Grade.
Ugh, that guy's the worst.
So, what's going on, man? - How how are ya? - I'm good.
Fine.
I'm sorry about about brunch.
I just, I Yo, Nikki's all mad at me because I brought up the Lily thing, but I thought you knew.
So Dude.
You don't think your baby's gonna like N.
W.
A.
? Are you not the father? - You're a dick.
- Is it not your kid? I mean, just please tell me that you're not obsessing about all this 'cause no offense, but you tend to overthink things a little.
Uh, I think I tend to think about things the exact right amount, thank you.
Look whatever.
It's not like it's serious, okay.
He's been back in town for, like, a second.
It's fine.
What? What? They met in London.
They moved here together.
They've been together for over a year.
Over a year? Are you gonna buy those records from me or what? We just broke up 13 and a half months ago.
Okay.
Well, that's you not overthinking things.
Jesus.
And you're, you're just telling me this now? Jesus Christ, whose side are you on? What the fuck? Whoa! Okay, and that's you not inserting me back into it again.
Like Fine.
Just Thirty bucks.
Thirty bucks? Okay, Run-DMC's first record's in here.
So Fine, 45.
But it's store credit.
Okay, I can't leave the house with records and just come back with different records, Rob.
Suit yourself, dude.
You know you do this after every relationship? Do what? Okay.
And this, this is the last thing I'm gonna say, okay.
Who, who was the guy that you dated in, like, the seventh grade? It was like, uh, Kevin or Devin or Dermot Kevin Bannister.
Kevin Bannister.
Bannister.
Yes.
You guys "went out" for like a minute and a half.
And then you broke up, and you spent, like, the whole summer just listening to The Cure and, like, drawing skulls in your bedroom.
- So? - So? That was the seventh grade, and you're still doing the exact same thing right now.
- Am not! - Are too! You're with someone, and then it ends, and then you just, you, you freak out and shut down and spend, like, the next five years just spinning your wheels and muttering to yourself about "what went wrong?" - That's called "dating".
- Is it? - Yeah.
- Is it? - Never mind, then.
- Never mind.
- You never mind.
- You What you want for the poster? - Call it even.
- Dope.
Look, it's fine, all right.
I'm not an idiot.
It was bound to happen at some point.
Mac has a new girlfriend.
See? I'm fine.
It's fine.
It's not like they're married.
What? What? I don't know, I heard he got a ring, okay.
Can I have my poster? You just gotta get over this Mac thing, all right.
Like just find something to occupy your time.
Some kind of distraction.
Anything.
Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light Stop.
- Hey, Rob.
- Hey.
We're still doing ten percent off all the disco? - Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- Okay.
Wha Hey, what are you doing? Nothing.
'Cause it looked like you were looking at Mac's Instagram.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was.
Look, Simon, there's some There's some Lily girl.
So Oh.
Is that why you're smoking in the office? No.
Is that why you're smoking in the first place? Maybe.
She's just she's probably just some dumb cunt.
That actually felt terrible.
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Thanks for trying.
I mean, look at this shit.
I went to her profile.
Right? It's just all dogs and sunsets and flowers and cocktails and dogs and flowers and sunsets.
- Gross.
- Gross.
You just wanna see her face.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I just wanna see her dumb, whore face.
That felt yeah, that felt terrible.
- Right? - Mm-hmm.
I just wanna know what kind of person she is.
Well, apparently, she's the kind of person that enjoys frosés.
The fuck is a frosé? Hmm? Evidently, it's something you do "all day".
- Sounds exhausting.
- Why can't we ever have nice things? Look at this, there's a dog, a sunset, flowers, another dog Oh, there's a cat! Cat? Cat! It's Marco! - Oh, is that Mac's cat? - Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Read me the caption.
- Please don't make me do - No, it's fine.
I can take it.
What's it say? Love of my life.
- Oh god! - I know.
I didn't wanna tell you.
Yo he's in here.
Who's in here? Who's in Liam.
The dope-ass, fine-ass Scottish singer, Liam, is in the motherfucking store.
- We should probably turn off his music.
- On it.
Sorry.
Gonna turn that off.
No, you're good.
No, keep going.
You finding everything okay? Uh, yeah.
This is, uh this is a cool spot you guys got.
- Thank you.
- Really cool spot.
Liam.
We, uh, we met last night, at the show? - Still Rob.
- Still Rob.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just, I thought I'd come and check out the shop.
Since you guys mentioned it.
So Cool.
Check it out.
Look around.
Take a gander.
Os Mutantes.
Oh, yeah.
They're a Brazilian psych-rock band.
Heavily influenced by the Tropicália movement.
Yeah, man, I know I love them.
I just didn't realize that they had a box-set out.
Does this have the demos with Caetano Veloso, then? Uh yeah.
Yeah, not a ton, though because those recordings are basically nonexistent.
Someone's got good taste.
Yeah, you know, I like to support local singers and smaller bands.
Yeah, look, listen, I will take all the help I can get.
Marvin Gaye? Um, I'll take this.
Oh, cool.
- Excellent choice.
- Thank you.
So, uh, so you guys you guys busy tonight? - Uh well - No.
No.
Well, I mean, I'm playing at Tape Exchange.
So, I mean, I could put you guys on the list.
- Okay.
- That's cool.
- Well, you know, whatever you - Why not? Sure.
No pressure.
It's, uh, $19.
99.
Yeah.
Thank you.
- Do you want a receipt or a bag - No, no.
I'm good, thanks.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks.
Uh, maybe I'll see you tonight or Yeah, maybe you will.
Cool.
All right, take care.
- "Maybe you will".
- Yeah, "Maybe you will".
- "Maybe you" - Shut up.
Okay.
I gotta go home and change my shirt.
Into what? Your other shirt? Watch it! I can't go to a show right now.
He is hot.
I'm just, um, kind of in a weird place.
What in the shit am I doing here? - Two more? - Yeah.
I am a sick person.
I am a sick, sick person.
- How could I be any more - Hi, baby.
What'll it be? I'll have a frosé, please.
Hmm.
Pathetic.
That's how.
That's how I could be more pathetic.
- So good.
- The best.
Any one of these girls could love sunsets and flowers, dogs and Mac.
Thanks.
And since I've never seen the bitch, every single one of them may as well be Lily.
It's really delicious.
How's the Lily? Lily, Lily, Lily.
Lily? Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! I'm really sick.
I'm sick.
Girl, you need a Everything's confused 'Cause there's no time, time, time, time Time to lose Hey, Rob.
I I can't really hear you.
What? Frosé? I can't hear you.
Maybe just meet us at the bar in 30? I've been goin' for it, you know? But now, I'm tryin' to collaborate, find some new peeps to find a new sound, you know what I'm sayin'? 'Cause I'm just tryin' to be on that next wave.
I mean, that's it.
You just, you gotta find your people.
Yes.
Exactly.
Problem is, I'm kind of on a different level, you know? - You gotta trust.
- Yeah.
You know, like Courtney Love.
Courtney Love, she was 25, she was like a total punk, you know? - Yeah.
- So she put up an ad.
She said, "I want to start a band.
My influences are Big Black, Sonic Youth, Fleetwood Mac".
- That's it? - That's it.
That's how she started Hole.
She just pointed a flare gun up into the universe and the universe answered.
Well, I really like that.
So, basically what you're saying is, you just gotta put it out there, and then they'll eventually come to you? Yeah.
Yo, that's some real heavy shit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
Sorry I missed the show.
It's all good.
These guys say that you always show up eventually.
Did they? Did they? Right.
Anyone fancy a game of Chase The Dragon? I've never seen Rob play a sport.
Well, they seem into each other.
Yeah, I know.
Thank God for that too, right? 'Cause this girl needs a break.
It's like, all right, cool, dude.
I get it.
You know what I mean? We're both musicians, and, you know, you wanna like You good? It's just Okay.
Your whole "music career" has been about to "pop off" for like seventeen thousand years, and I'm just wondering why we haven't, you know, heard any of your music.
'Cause good art takes time, and I'm perfecting my sound.
Okay.
What is your "sound"? It don't even matter, dude.
You wouldn't even be familiar with my immediate influences.
I mean, try me.
They're mostly French.
I'm lookin' up Oh! Everything's Okay.
Maybe Cameron was right.
I needed a distraction.
And as far as distractions go, could be worse.
So, if Simon's theory is true, that it's not what you're like but what you like that matters, then Liam and I are Exhibit A.
We bond over books, TV, music, movies.
We express our shared opinions on Joan Didion, J Dilla, dubstep, Escape from New York, sports, Mexican food: yes, yes, no, yes, no, and yes.
I gotta go home.
I'm done.
Okay.
The cops are after me.
- They're coming.
- They're coming.
- I gotta go.
- Don't shoot.
Bye, guys Yo, okay, I gotta tell you the truth.
Gonna be late tomorrow.
You're late every day.
You get me and that's why I love you.
Hey, yo, Simon! - You smoke? - No.
You're a classy bitch, you know that? Well, I need some glasses in my apartment, so Sounds like a shithole.
You know, I think you would like it.
Why don't we check it out.
There's plenty of whiskey.
Well, in that case Excellent choice.
Why, thank you.
So what do you think? You know, it's not really like my style, but the label offered to pay for it so I was like - It's nice.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Right.
Now, tell me if this is not the most wonderful thing that you've ever got on your lips.
Just about.
- It's nice, isn't it? - Very good.
Nice move there.
So, uh so what was yours called? - My what? - Your ex.
What? The guy that you made the playlist for.
Your ex.
Oh, wow! Wow, Simon.
Fuck you, Simon.
- Oh, my god.
- Hey, listen, to be fair, he did say that it was an excellent playlist.
Really? You know what's gonna be excellent, when I murder him in his sleep.
That's weird.
You know what? He's probably just worried about you.
Mm-hmm.
Well, mine was called Jenny.
Yeah, Jenny.
I actually, I wrote a song, Nina Simone Times Two.
Oh yeah.
I know that song.
I like that song.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, It's about me and my ex dividing up our record collection.
How'd you make out? Oh, terribly.
- Brutal.
- Bad.
- Brutal.
- Brutal.
Brutal.
- That was good.
- Thank you.
My turn.
Yes.
Okay.
Mine is called Mac.
Mac? Okay.
Mac.
And Mac just moved back with a girl.
- And? - Named Lilly.
Which is a total bullshit name.
- Terrible name.
- Fucking bullshit name.
- Right? - Yeah.
And And I don't know, she just seems so different.
Different how? Well, first of all, she seems like a fuckin' bitch.
Of course.
Yeah.
I've never met her but she seems like a fuckin' bitch.
- Yeah.
- And, um, I don't know, she just seems like, um, uncomplicated, I guess.
And I just don't get how he can want that, you know, like, if he wanted that, I don't get how he was ever with me.
Did it not work because I wasn't what he wanted? Or did he change what he wanted because of what I am? You know, it's like, it's like, you're with someone, right? And you're like one person, you become a part of them, and then you're not with them, and they become like this fuckin' stranger.
You know? And I just don't get it.
I don't get how we get from there to here.
And it just makes me think I know nothing.
I know none of the answers to any of the questions.
And that's me not talking about that anymore.
So, um how long ago was Jenny? - Jenny? - Hmm.
Jenny.
- Um, we broke up last spring.
- Mm-hmm.
So like, a year? Yeah.
A year.
Wow.
- Graduation.
- Hmm.
College graduate, very impressive.
No, not college.
High school.
Um uh you I just remembered that I have to, um, go.
I have to go.
Well, I, I mean, we still got, um, the second side of the record.
I know.
I know.
Goddammit.
Um yeah, I have to go.
I forgot about Uh, yeah.
I mean, okay, cool.
I'm actually going to Montreal tomorrow.
We're doing this week-long tour thing, but, I mean, I can call you Yeah.
Sure.
Give me a call.
- Oh, okay - Bye.
He's a fucking child! - Good morning.
- Hey.
So, I, uh, found a Lily photo.
- No.
- Yeah.
It was actually kinda complicated.
I had to do, like, a sort of Venn diagram of Mac and Lily's shared friends, and I cross-referenced them across a few different Can you show me the fucking photo, man? platforms.
Yeah.
Says it's a housewarming party from three weeks ago.
- Mm-hmm.
- She kinda what you expected? I don't know.
I mean, do you feel better now that you've seen her? Yeah.
Maybe.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't feel better.
Why don't I feel better? Why do I never get any better? Why do all my relationships end with me feeling like this? Cam's right.
I'm stuck in a dysfunctional fuckin' loop.
Okay.
What's wrong with me? Seriously? I need answers.
I need to know.
Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Is this the Bannister residence? Yes.
Hi, um, this is Rob Brooks? Um, I'm an old friend of Kevin's? I used to live across the street from you? I'm sorry, dear, what did you say your name was? Robyn Brooks? Um, I was actually Kevin's first girlfriend, and, um, I was just wondering if you had a number - I could reach him at or - I'm sorry, I hate to quibble with you but Kevin married his first girlfriend, Hannah Shepherd.
What? I assure you.
Hannah Shepherd, now Bannister, was Kevin's first and last girlfriend.
Well, technically, I was his first girlfriend.
I don't know what you mean by "technically".
Well, we dated a few days before he met Hannah, so technically, I was Oh, okay.
Okay, I gotta go now, Donna.
You can reach Kevin on Facebook if you'd like.
Have a good night! Holy shit.
Kevin married Hannah.
He married her! Kissed me in seventh grade, kissed Hannah in seventh grade, married Hannah.
This is great! The demise of our relationship had nothing to do with me.
It was fate! It was destiny! It was beyond my control! I am fine now.
I love this! I want more.
I wanna see all the others in the big Top Five: Kat and Justin, all of 'em.
Of course, you do, babe.
See how they all are.
Heal that little heart of glass.
Yeah.
And then they'll feel good.
Then I'll feel good.
Well, maybe they won't feel so good.
But you'll feel great.
Yeah.
You say your final good luck and goodbye to your "All-Time Top Five".
And you can move on.
Yes.
Break the pattern of heartbreak.
And free yourself.
Free myself.
- Thanks, Debbie.
- You're welcome.
Last I checked, he lived in a completely Lily-less universe.
How do I know this? Because when he lived here, I knew everyone he knew.
And there wasn't one single Lily.
Not a Lilian, a Lilith, a Delilah.
Not one.
So if Mac does know a Lily in the greater metropolitan area of New York City, he had to have met her in the three weeks he's been back.
So, he's been back for three weeks, and he's met someone already.
Cool.
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
I mean, three weeks, how serious could it even be? I mean, what do people who have been together for three weeks even do? They have sex.
Just constantly have sex.
Y'all do buybacks, right? Not for family.
Hmm.
- Why you getting rid of these? - Spring cleaning.
Uh, Nikki asked me to clean out the den to set up the nursery.
What, babies don't like music? Babies don't like asthma.
Apparently, the vinyl collects dust.
Maybe if you listened to them more, they'd be less dusty.
Look, I can bring 'em to Lionel at Top Grade.
Ugh, that guy's the worst.
So, what's going on, man? - How how are ya? - I'm good.
Fine.
I'm sorry about about brunch.
I just, I Yo, Nikki's all mad at me because I brought up the Lily thing, but I thought you knew.
So Dude.
You don't think your baby's gonna like N.
W.
A.
? Are you not the father? - You're a dick.
- Is it not your kid? I mean, just please tell me that you're not obsessing about all this 'cause no offense, but you tend to overthink things a little.
Uh, I think I tend to think about things the exact right amount, thank you.
Look whatever.
It's not like it's serious, okay.
He's been back in town for, like, a second.
It's fine.
What? What? They met in London.
They moved here together.
They've been together for over a year.
Over a year? Are you gonna buy those records from me or what? We just broke up 13 and a half months ago.
Okay.
Well, that's you not overthinking things.
Jesus.
And you're, you're just telling me this now? Jesus Christ, whose side are you on? What the fuck? Whoa! Okay, and that's you not inserting me back into it again.
Like Fine.
Just Thirty bucks.
Thirty bucks? Okay, Run-DMC's first record's in here.
So Fine, 45.
But it's store credit.
Okay, I can't leave the house with records and just come back with different records, Rob.
Suit yourself, dude.
You know you do this after every relationship? Do what? Okay.
And this, this is the last thing I'm gonna say, okay.
Who, who was the guy that you dated in, like, the seventh grade? It was like, uh, Kevin or Devin or Dermot Kevin Bannister.
Kevin Bannister.
Bannister.
Yes.
You guys "went out" for like a minute and a half.
And then you broke up, and you spent, like, the whole summer just listening to The Cure and, like, drawing skulls in your bedroom.
- So? - So? That was the seventh grade, and you're still doing the exact same thing right now.
- Am not! - Are too! You're with someone, and then it ends, and then you just, you, you freak out and shut down and spend, like, the next five years just spinning your wheels and muttering to yourself about "what went wrong?" - That's called "dating".
- Is it? - Yeah.
- Is it? - Never mind, then.
- Never mind.
- You never mind.
- You What you want for the poster? - Call it even.
- Dope.
Look, it's fine, all right.
I'm not an idiot.
It was bound to happen at some point.
Mac has a new girlfriend.
See? I'm fine.
It's fine.
It's not like they're married.
What? What? I don't know, I heard he got a ring, okay.
Can I have my poster? You just gotta get over this Mac thing, all right.
Like just find something to occupy your time.
Some kind of distraction.
Anything.
Yeah, riding high on love's true bluish light Stop.
- Hey, Rob.
- Hey.
We're still doing ten percent off all the disco? - Yeah, yeah, for sure.
- Okay.
Wha Hey, what are you doing? Nothing.
'Cause it looked like you were looking at Mac's Instagram.
Yeah.
Yeah, I was.
Look, Simon, there's some There's some Lily girl.
So Oh.
Is that why you're smoking in the office? No.
Is that why you're smoking in the first place? Maybe.
She's just she's probably just some dumb cunt.
That actually felt terrible.
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
Thanks for trying.
I mean, look at this shit.
I went to her profile.
Right? It's just all dogs and sunsets and flowers and cocktails and dogs and flowers and sunsets.
- Gross.
- Gross.
You just wanna see her face.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I just wanna see her dumb, whore face.
That felt yeah, that felt terrible.
- Right? - Mm-hmm.
I just wanna know what kind of person she is.
Well, apparently, she's the kind of person that enjoys frosés.
The fuck is a frosé? Hmm? Evidently, it's something you do "all day".
- Sounds exhausting.
- Why can't we ever have nice things? Look at this, there's a dog, a sunset, flowers, another dog Oh, there's a cat! Cat? Cat! It's Marco! - Oh, is that Mac's cat? - Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
Read me the caption.
- Please don't make me do - No, it's fine.
I can take it.
What's it say? Love of my life.
- Oh god! - I know.
I didn't wanna tell you.
Yo he's in here.
Who's in here? Who's in Liam.
The dope-ass, fine-ass Scottish singer, Liam, is in the motherfucking store.
- We should probably turn off his music.
- On it.
Sorry.
Gonna turn that off.
No, you're good.
No, keep going.
You finding everything okay? Uh, yeah.
This is, uh this is a cool spot you guys got.
- Thank you.
- Really cool spot.
Liam.
We, uh, we met last night, at the show? - Still Rob.
- Still Rob.
Yeah.
Yeah, I just, I thought I'd come and check out the shop.
Since you guys mentioned it.
So Cool.
Check it out.
Look around.
Take a gander.
Os Mutantes.
Oh, yeah.
They're a Brazilian psych-rock band.
Heavily influenced by the Tropicália movement.
Yeah, man, I know I love them.
I just didn't realize that they had a box-set out.
Does this have the demos with Caetano Veloso, then? Uh yeah.
Yeah, not a ton, though because those recordings are basically nonexistent.
Someone's got good taste.
Yeah, you know, I like to support local singers and smaller bands.
Yeah, look, listen, I will take all the help I can get.
Marvin Gaye? Um, I'll take this.
Oh, cool.
- Excellent choice.
- Thank you.
So, uh, so you guys you guys busy tonight? - Uh well - No.
No.
Well, I mean, I'm playing at Tape Exchange.
So, I mean, I could put you guys on the list.
- Okay.
- That's cool.
- Well, you know, whatever you - Why not? Sure.
No pressure.
It's, uh, $19.
99.
Yeah.
Thank you.
- Do you want a receipt or a bag - No, no.
I'm good, thanks.
- Enjoy.
- Thanks.
Uh, maybe I'll see you tonight or Yeah, maybe you will.
Cool.
All right, take care.
- "Maybe you will".
- Yeah, "Maybe you will".
- "Maybe you" - Shut up.
Okay.
I gotta go home and change my shirt.
Into what? Your other shirt? Watch it! I can't go to a show right now.
He is hot.
I'm just, um, kind of in a weird place.
What in the shit am I doing here? - Two more? - Yeah.
I am a sick person.
I am a sick, sick person.
- How could I be any more - Hi, baby.
What'll it be? I'll have a frosé, please.
Hmm.
Pathetic.
That's how.
That's how I could be more pathetic.
- So good.
- The best.
Any one of these girls could love sunsets and flowers, dogs and Mac.
Thanks.
And since I've never seen the bitch, every single one of them may as well be Lily.
It's really delicious.
How's the Lily? Lily, Lily, Lily.
Lily? Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! Lily! I'm really sick.
I'm sick.
Girl, you need a Everything's confused 'Cause there's no time, time, time, time Time to lose Hey, Rob.
I I can't really hear you.
What? Frosé? I can't hear you.
Maybe just meet us at the bar in 30? I've been goin' for it, you know? But now, I'm tryin' to collaborate, find some new peeps to find a new sound, you know what I'm sayin'? 'Cause I'm just tryin' to be on that next wave.
I mean, that's it.
You just, you gotta find your people.
Yes.
Exactly.
Problem is, I'm kind of on a different level, you know? - You gotta trust.
- Yeah.
You know, like Courtney Love.
Courtney Love, she was 25, she was like a total punk, you know? - Yeah.
- So she put up an ad.
She said, "I want to start a band.
My influences are Big Black, Sonic Youth, Fleetwood Mac".
- That's it? - That's it.
That's how she started Hole.
She just pointed a flare gun up into the universe and the universe answered.
Well, I really like that.
So, basically what you're saying is, you just gotta put it out there, and then they'll eventually come to you? Yeah.
Yo, that's some real heavy shit.
- Hey.
- Hey.
Hey.
Sorry I missed the show.
It's all good.
These guys say that you always show up eventually.
Did they? Did they? Right.
Anyone fancy a game of Chase The Dragon? I've never seen Rob play a sport.
Well, they seem into each other.
Yeah, I know.
Thank God for that too, right? 'Cause this girl needs a break.
It's like, all right, cool, dude.
I get it.
You know what I mean? We're both musicians, and, you know, you wanna like You good? It's just Okay.
Your whole "music career" has been about to "pop off" for like seventeen thousand years, and I'm just wondering why we haven't, you know, heard any of your music.
'Cause good art takes time, and I'm perfecting my sound.
Okay.
What is your "sound"? It don't even matter, dude.
You wouldn't even be familiar with my immediate influences.
I mean, try me.
They're mostly French.
I'm lookin' up Oh! Everything's Okay.
Maybe Cameron was right.
I needed a distraction.
And as far as distractions go, could be worse.
So, if Simon's theory is true, that it's not what you're like but what you like that matters, then Liam and I are Exhibit A.
We bond over books, TV, music, movies.
We express our shared opinions on Joan Didion, J Dilla, dubstep, Escape from New York, sports, Mexican food: yes, yes, no, yes, no, and yes.
I gotta go home.
I'm done.
Okay.
The cops are after me.
- They're coming.
- They're coming.
- I gotta go.
- Don't shoot.
Bye, guys Yo, okay, I gotta tell you the truth.
Gonna be late tomorrow.
You're late every day.
You get me and that's why I love you.
Hey, yo, Simon! - You smoke? - No.
You're a classy bitch, you know that? Well, I need some glasses in my apartment, so Sounds like a shithole.
You know, I think you would like it.
Why don't we check it out.
There's plenty of whiskey.
Well, in that case Excellent choice.
Why, thank you.
So what do you think? You know, it's not really like my style, but the label offered to pay for it so I was like - It's nice.
- Thank you.
You're welcome.
Right.
Now, tell me if this is not the most wonderful thing that you've ever got on your lips.
Just about.
- It's nice, isn't it? - Very good.
Nice move there.
So, uh so what was yours called? - My what? - Your ex.
What? The guy that you made the playlist for.
Your ex.
Oh, wow! Wow, Simon.
Fuck you, Simon.
- Oh, my god.
- Hey, listen, to be fair, he did say that it was an excellent playlist.
Really? You know what's gonna be excellent, when I murder him in his sleep.
That's weird.
You know what? He's probably just worried about you.
Mm-hmm.
Well, mine was called Jenny.
Yeah, Jenny.
I actually, I wrote a song, Nina Simone Times Two.
Oh yeah.
I know that song.
I like that song.
Well, thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, It's about me and my ex dividing up our record collection.
How'd you make out? Oh, terribly.
- Brutal.
- Bad.
- Brutal.
- Brutal.
Brutal.
- That was good.
- Thank you.
My turn.
Yes.
Okay.
Mine is called Mac.
Mac? Okay.
Mac.
And Mac just moved back with a girl.
- And? - Named Lilly.
Which is a total bullshit name.
- Terrible name.
- Fucking bullshit name.
- Right? - Yeah.
And And I don't know, she just seems so different.
Different how? Well, first of all, she seems like a fuckin' bitch.
Of course.
Yeah.
I've never met her but she seems like a fuckin' bitch.
- Yeah.
- And, um, I don't know, she just seems like, um, uncomplicated, I guess.
And I just don't get how he can want that, you know, like, if he wanted that, I don't get how he was ever with me.
Did it not work because I wasn't what he wanted? Or did he change what he wanted because of what I am? You know, it's like, it's like, you're with someone, right? And you're like one person, you become a part of them, and then you're not with them, and they become like this fuckin' stranger.
You know? And I just don't get it.
I don't get how we get from there to here.
And it just makes me think I know nothing.
I know none of the answers to any of the questions.
And that's me not talking about that anymore.
So, um how long ago was Jenny? - Jenny? - Hmm.
Jenny.
- Um, we broke up last spring.
- Mm-hmm.
So like, a year? Yeah.
A year.
Wow.
- Graduation.
- Hmm.
College graduate, very impressive.
No, not college.
High school.
Um uh you I just remembered that I have to, um, go.
I have to go.
Well, I, I mean, we still got, um, the second side of the record.
I know.
I know.
Goddammit.
Um yeah, I have to go.
I forgot about Uh, yeah.
I mean, okay, cool.
I'm actually going to Montreal tomorrow.
We're doing this week-long tour thing, but, I mean, I can call you Yeah.
Sure.
Give me a call.
- Oh, okay - Bye.
He's a fucking child! - Good morning.
- Hey.
So, I, uh, found a Lily photo.
- No.
- Yeah.
It was actually kinda complicated.
I had to do, like, a sort of Venn diagram of Mac and Lily's shared friends, and I cross-referenced them across a few different Can you show me the fucking photo, man? platforms.
Yeah.
Says it's a housewarming party from three weeks ago.
- Mm-hmm.
- She kinda what you expected? I don't know.
I mean, do you feel better now that you've seen her? Yeah.
Maybe.
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
Yeah.
It doesn't feel better.
Why don't I feel better? Why do I never get any better? Why do all my relationships end with me feeling like this? Cam's right.
I'm stuck in a dysfunctional fuckin' loop.
Okay.
What's wrong with me? Seriously? I need answers.
I need to know.
Excuse me.
- Hello.
- Hi.
Is this the Bannister residence? Yes.
Hi, um, this is Rob Brooks? Um, I'm an old friend of Kevin's? I used to live across the street from you? I'm sorry, dear, what did you say your name was? Robyn Brooks? Um, I was actually Kevin's first girlfriend, and, um, I was just wondering if you had a number - I could reach him at or - I'm sorry, I hate to quibble with you but Kevin married his first girlfriend, Hannah Shepherd.
What? I assure you.
Hannah Shepherd, now Bannister, was Kevin's first and last girlfriend.
Well, technically, I was his first girlfriend.
I don't know what you mean by "technically".
Well, we dated a few days before he met Hannah, so technically, I was Oh, okay.
Okay, I gotta go now, Donna.
You can reach Kevin on Facebook if you'd like.
Have a good night! Holy shit.
Kevin married Hannah.
He married her! Kissed me in seventh grade, kissed Hannah in seventh grade, married Hannah.
This is great! The demise of our relationship had nothing to do with me.
It was fate! It was destiny! It was beyond my control! I am fine now.
I love this! I want more.
I wanna see all the others in the big Top Five: Kat and Justin, all of 'em.
Of course, you do, babe.
See how they all are.
Heal that little heart of glass.
Yeah.
And then they'll feel good.
Then I'll feel good.
Well, maybe they won't feel so good.
But you'll feel great.
Yeah.
You say your final good luck and goodbye to your "All-Time Top Five".
And you can move on.
Yes.
Break the pattern of heartbreak.
And free yourself.
Free myself.
- Thanks, Debbie.
- You're welcome.