Hit & Miss s01e03 Episode Script

That prick John's put the smallholdings up for sale.
I'm thinking of buying it.
It can't have a bearing on what you do for me.
I've signed the forms and sorted stuff out with the social.
I want to be more than just a name on a piece of paper.
I said I'd buy it off you.
Wendy and me, we did have a little arrangement.
Why don't you use my name to go legit on this place? I'd be loath to lose you.
D'you wanna go for a drink sometime? Sounds nice.
So does he know about you? he doesn't.
So don't say anything.
? Oh, Lord, it's so hard ? It's so hard when you're living in the devil's playground ? Oh, Lord, it's so hard ? It's so hard when you're living in the devil's playground I've been thinking about what you said.
About your arrangement with Wendy.
Maybe you were right.
I thought you'd see sense.
Here's the new deal.
You sell the smallholdings to me and you stay the fuck away from us! Otherwise I will kill you.
You understand? Get out.
? It's so hard ? It's so hard when you're living in the devil's playground ? In the devil's playground ? In the devil's playground ? Playground ? Where the devils play ?Where the devils play ? Where the devils play Ready to go? ? Where the devils play ? Where the devils play ? Oh, Lord, it's so hard ? It's so hard when you're living in the devil's playground Just down this way.
So where'd you grow up? Everywhere.
Nowhere.
I grew up in a fairground.
Yeah? That must have been brilliant.
Had its moments.
I left when I was 18.
Right.
So do you still see your family? Come on.
Thanks for tonight.
I really enjoyed it.
Yeah.
Me an'all.
Don't.
It's not a problem.
It's just I'm not like other women.
I know.
That's why I like you.
I've gotta go.
Thanks again.
Yeah.
See you.
Aren't you having owt, Riley? gonna be in the barn for? How long are them boxes the barn for? What does it matter? Eddie seems like a decent enough bloke.
He seems dodgy to me.
So you don't like Eddie but you like the tranny? Levi.
What? I'm just saying.
What are you lot doing? Nothing.
Let's go, then.
Do you know what a transsexual is? Is it someone who's half man, half robot? Yeah, something like that.
My dad said your mum was the village bike.
Everyone's had a ride.
What does that mean? I don't know.
Come on.
I've got something to show you.
My dad says when I'm 12, I can have a go too.
What's he doing? Is John in? Riley, what's wrong? Can I speak to John, please? What are you doing here? Fuck off! Why didn't you come to meet me? It's over, Riley.
What? Why? I said it's over.
But we need to talk.
It's important.
Fuck off! John, John, John.
Please.
Please! Get off! Come here.
Not now.
I need to tell you something.
You know you want it.
Be good to have the house stuff sorted.
Thought you didn't wanna shit on your doorstep.
I didn't.
I shat on his.
There'd better not be any comebacks.
I did exactly what you told me to do I know you did.
But you've gotta be careful.
What do you mean? You're not their mother, Mia, and you never will be.
I know that, but I'm all they've got.
I told you right at the start, water and milk don't mix.
Yeah, and blood is thicker than bullets.
Don't forget hat job needs doing tomorrow.
OK? Yeah.
Hey! Is it beef? No.
Hello, Mummy.
"Hello, baby.
" Are you OK? "Yes, I'm fine.
Are you?" I think so.
"You will be.
You all will be.
" Take your scalpels and then we can begin the dissection.
Why are we doing this? Doing what? This.
What's the point of it? We observe the behaviour and movements of the frogs that are alive and the dead ones, we study the biological make-up.
But why? Because it's science.
Why don't you observe my behaviour then kill me? Don't be silly, Ryan.
Fine.
I'll do it myself.
Put down the scalpel at once.
Look, I know you've been through a rough time, but you've really gotta stop Have you ever heard a frog scream? You know, I'm getting fed up with you, young man.
Ryan! Ryan! Hey, Eddie.
Hello, mate.
How's it going? Same old.
What are you doing here? Mia's out.
Yeah, I came to see you, actually.
I want you to do a favour for me.
Stash this for a while.
Don't tell anyone, not even Mia.
Do you understand? Good lad.
Remember, don't mention it to anyone.
No worries.
What are you doing? You need to rest.
I need the toilet.
We need to take this out first.
This might hurt a little.
Just removing the tube from your penis.
Gents is this way, love.
No, no.
I'm not Come on, you'll be OK.
Riley? Mia? Levi! Ryan! Help! Mia? Are you alright? What happened? I got knocked over.
I'm fine.
I'm fine now.
Shouldn't you be in the hospital? I had to get out.
I hate those places.
What about the car that hit you? Shouldn't we call the police? No.
No police.
But why? You could have been killed.
Riley, please, just leave it.
It doesn't make sense.
I think I think you should let her rest.
Ben, what are you doing here? He carried you in.
Have you been here all night? Give us a minute.
Still doesn't make sense.
How are you feeling? I'll live.
You should be in hospital, Mia.
I've broken more bones and spilt more blood than this before.
I like you a lot, Ben.
But it could never work.
Why? It just won't.
Believe me.
Thanks for bringing me in and helping the kids.
But you didn't have to stay.
Is that it, then? No.
No, fuck that.
What is it, Mia? I'm a transsexual.
The fuck?! Male to female.
Pre-op.
What, you, you were a.
.
? No, no, no, no.
Look, I don't understand.
Because you look like a A woman? It's because I am.
Yeah, but I don't I don't get it.
You've You've got a cock? You again? Eh? Is she in? Yeah.
Don't fuck her about, kid.
I'm warning you.
Or I'll break your fucking legs.
Eddie.
You alright, mate? Why didn't you contact me? You know you should always contact me when the shit hits the fan.
Battery died on my phone.
I needed to shift the car.
Was anybody about when you did? You know how it works, Eddie.
If I don't kill them, they'll kill you.
Did they ID you in hospital? I don't exist, remember? And what about lover boy? What about him? How much does he know? He knows fuck all.
It's got nothing to do with you anyway.
Everything's got something to do with me.
What the fuck? Aaron said Mum was the village bike.
Don't listen to him.
He's a dick.
What does it mean, though? What does what mean? What he said.
Does it mean we'll never forget her like you'll never forget how to ride a bike? No, Ryan.
It means she was a fucking slag.
Not a slag! Not a slag! Why have you got this? I was raped.
A long time ago.
I've had the gun ever since.
Oh, my God, Mia.
I'm so sorry.
Don't apologise.
You didn't do it.
What happened? Not long after I started dressing as a girl .
.
I met this guy in a nightclub.
We went back to his place and when he realised what I was, he went crazy.
Beat me up, tore off my clothes and then he raped me.
What did you do? Nothing.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to upset you.
It was a long time ago.
I'm fine.
It's not that.
Is it all the stuff to do with the house? Boy trouble? No man is worth your tears, Riley, and the one that is won't make you cry.
And don't worry about the house.
It's all sorted.
Where'd you get the money from? I've been saving up for my operation.
Mia, I don't know what to say.
You don't have to say anything.
You're worth it.
You all are.
Mum used to brush mine for me.
Will you? Of course I will.
I know why Mum asked you to be the one to look after us.
I once saw a dog eat its own sick.
Sometimes when animals are competing for food, they eat as quick as they can and go away and regurgitate it so that they can eat in peace.
I love weird shit like that.
You like weird shit? My stepmum's a tranny.
What? A chick with a dick.
Bollocks.
That's cool as fuck.
I told you, it's over, Riley.
What do you want? I'm pregnant.
Fuck off! It's true, I am.
Are you taking the piss? Is it mine? I was a virgin until you, you cunt! Get rid of it.
I said, fucking get rid.
?That proved you care ?And it looks the same ?As when you gave it, dear ?The only thing different ? The only thing new ? I've got these little things ? She's got you What's that song about, Mummy? It's about a woman who loses the man she loves to another woman.
I love you, Mummy, lots and lots, like jelly tots.
"Hiya.
It's me.
" "Look, about earlier, I acted like an idiot.
I mean" "I don't know what to say.
" "I really, really like you, but, I mean" "How could it ever work?" It's my fault Mum died.
Don't be silly.
It's nobody's fault.
It is.
It's mine.
What do you mean? When she got really ill, I prayed so the angels would take her away and she wouldn't have to suffer any more.
I killed her.
You didn't kill her, Ryan.
You didn't do anything wrong.
Sometimes when we see someone we love suffering, we do what we can to end that suffering.
We love them so much we can't bear to see them in pain.
If love could have saved your mum, she'd still be here.
I can't stop thinking about her.
I keep looking at her photo because I'm scared that I'll forget she looks like.
She's in a nice place now.
Free from suffering.
You did the right thing.
Ryan.
What are you doing? You're supposed to be in this class.
Ryan! Ryan! Mia.
How did you This is how it would work.
?I am a man, man, man, man Up, up in the air ? And I run around, round, round, round this town, town ? And act like I don't care ? So when you see me flying by the planet's moon ? You don't need to explain if everything's changed ? Just know I'm just like you I need a break.
You can't afford it.
I'm pregnant.
I'm getting an abortion.
You've told her, haven't you? Two bulls can't reign in one pen.
Fuck you, John.
Where's Leonie? I think there was a man in the house.
What? Leonie! I'm calling the police.
No, don't.
You ain't called them yet? It's not very ladylike.
Fucking go!