Hot Streets (2016) s01e03 Episode Script
Super Agent
Big plans for the weekend, Soo? I'm going to binge-watch the new AMC show, "Cuckoo Town.
" One of the 12 main characters is a secret cuckoo.
- I think it's the priest.
- I think it's the kid.
We'll find out tonight at 8 p.
m.
The hell you will.
You're both up for two weeks in Watch Hole, remember? Replacing Agent Magafferty.
Do your duty.
Two weeks sitting around doing nothing, no TV, Internet, showers? No way.
Not this year, not Branski.
If not us, whom? But what is Watch Hole? One of the best-kept government secrets.
Even I don't know.
No one knows.
Just don't get too curious snooping around, - pushing buttons.
- Right.
I promise.
I won't investigate the super interesting mystery of Watch Hole.
Chubbie, it's high time you learned some responsibility.
- You're on Watch Hole duty, too.
- Unh-unh! Yeah, either that, or we choppa the balls.
You'll need our badges to get in.
They're outfitted to explode when you squeeze them, so remember, don't do that.
No.
No! Good luck, Jen I mean, Agent Sanders, Agent Webbers.
Agent Magafferty, how'd it go? Great.
You can hear yourself aging down there, feel your organs wasting away.
You're up next.
Enjoy.
That's settled.
Now, let's get off the grid so no one at Hot Streets gets wise.
Please, scan badge and state name for voice recognition.
Failure will result in instant death.
Welcome back, Agent Branski and Agent French.
Phew! Now, to get to the bottom of this Watch Hole.
J.
A.
S.
O.
N.
, bypass security systems.
Bypassing security.
Up yours, security.
Stop worrying, Chubbie! Sit in the corner and dream about me petting you or something.
Great, another babysitter.
"Project Watch Hole prevents outer space from turning into every space.
" What does that mean? Wait a minute.
You can actually hear me.
Will you remove the sheet? Please? It's been so long.
I'm Rufia 1-12.
No one has ever been able to hear me, but you're different.
I've never seen an agent with two badges.
You must be a superagent! Pretty fascinating what happens when you squeeze the badges, right? "The containment of Rufia 1-12 is of the utmost importance for the security of all civilization.
" Wow.
What have we gotten ourselves into, Chubbie? Chubbie?! You could use those to free me.
I understand.
I know you can't.
It's a shame.
If I were free, I could see the rings of Saturn one more time! But I'll probably just be stuck in here for another 2,000 years.
Containment breach.
Containment breach.
Containment breach.
Thanks, Superagent.
Bye.
Uncle Mark is gonna kill me! Let me out! Please scan badge to exit.
Oh, no! Ugh.
I gave my badge to He calls himself Superagent, and he's the one responsible for turning outer space to every space.
That's right.
Just yesterday, an atmosphere exploded throughout the universe, making it possible for anyone to become interstellar travelers.
Some folks took a redeye to the Red Planet, while others schmoozed with sentient life forms, and this tiny boy is on the ride of his life.
Look at him go! No doubt about it every space is everything everyone's every-wanted, and we all have Superagent to thank.
We caught up with Superagent at a press conference earlier today where the mayor presented the key to the city to Superagent.
Oh, Rufia 1-12 Here's your target, a dashing rogue operative known only as "Superagent.
" He's responsible for the Watch Hole breach.
Consider him dead.
These fools are actually celebrating every space.
If they only knew what's coming.
Anyone word from French or Branski? We can only presume that Superagent seduced and killed them.
Brr! Ugh.
The Bahamas of the North sucks.
Nothing to do, stuck in this damn snow cabana.
I wonder how Jen and Chubbie Webbers are doing.
Who cares about them? I'm losing my mind bored.
I know.
Let's play sing the numbers.
I'll go first.
One, two, two Three, three, three Four, four, four, four Shut up! Damn alarm! Blue buttons always save the day.
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
Blue button! Self-destruction in three seconds.
Two seconds.
Ha! - Self-destruction postponed - Blue button! - for 3 more seconds.
- Blue button! Doom! Whoo! Drinks on the house! Hey, you have to pay for these.
Don't [bleep.]
with Superagent, mother[bleep.]
.
Oh, Rufia? Oh.
Will you sign my forehead, Superagent? Good evening.
This is Brent Bryce.
Turns out every space was too good to be true.
The Ambassadors of Doom are landing on Earth on the backs of some fairly scary dragon.
The Ambassadors of Doom? Due to the new physics of every space, these evil-doers traveled easily from their home planet to enslave ours.
Every space has doomed our world.
Somebody get this shit off my forehead! Yep, it seems Superagent was actually the cause of our worst nightmares, but, if you ask me, I still kind of like the guy.
Hi, Superagent.
That was for you.
My chip-dipping hand.
Death is inevitable, Superagent! You can escape me, but you can't escape cancer! Fun fact activating the badge swords gives you cancer.
We go live now to the Mayor and the Ambassadors of Doom.
Hey, uh, I I'm the mayor, and I know what you're thinking, but the Ambassadors of Doom have fresh, new ideas about, uh, how we should all die.
In other news, Brent Bryce is not ready to die.
Superagent, can you hear me? We need you now more than ever.
The mayor is right.
You're all going to die tomorrow.
And not even your so-called Superagent can help you now.
What is that infernal quacking?! Brent Bryce? Yes, Superagent? Help me, Brent Bryce! Anything for Superagent.
It's no use.
Our armies are on the way.
As long as outer space is every space, you are doomed! I never left the desk before until you.
You're a special guy, my top story.
Now, you must find that evil Rufia 1-12 and turn every space back to outer space.
- No, not evil! - Superagent, she broke your heart, treated you like a disposable pretaped fluff segment.
- No, no, no! - Okay, have it your way.
But finding her is going to be tricky.
She could be anywhere - in all of every space.
- Hmm.
If I were free, I could see the rings of Saturn one more time.
It's even more beautiful than I ever remembered.
I shouldn't have left you like that.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was a ball of energy.
I didn't mean to hide who I really was.
You're a dog? So, that's how you could hear me! You and your girlfriend are doomed, Superagent! This just in me! My freedom is causing the destruction of the universe.
I have to go back, Superagent.
Self-destruction in 3 seconds.
2 seconds.
1 second.
Whew! It's like nothing happened, right? Oh, who am I kidding? I'm [bleep.]
.
Hey-oh! Jen, is there anything you need to tell me? I opened up the security system, Chubbie flew out into outer space, turned outer space into every space, I pushed a blue button.
Yeah.
That sounds like boring old Watch Hole.
You know what we all need? Cheap sushi.
Who wants cheap sushi? My treat.
- Cheap sushi on Branski! - Ah-ha! Got you, Supera French and Branski? You're not dead? Dead? I wish after two straight weeks in Watch Hole.
Wait.
Wait.
So, Watch Hole wasn't breached.
Was this all just a dream? Must've been exactly like "The Wizard of Oz.
" Come on.
Let's get you boys out of here.
Hmm Good-bye, Chubbie Webbers.
I love you.
What's Chubbie babbling on about? Probably nothing important.
He's just a dog.
" One of the 12 main characters is a secret cuckoo.
- I think it's the priest.
- I think it's the kid.
We'll find out tonight at 8 p.
m.
The hell you will.
You're both up for two weeks in Watch Hole, remember? Replacing Agent Magafferty.
Do your duty.
Two weeks sitting around doing nothing, no TV, Internet, showers? No way.
Not this year, not Branski.
If not us, whom? But what is Watch Hole? One of the best-kept government secrets.
Even I don't know.
No one knows.
Just don't get too curious snooping around, - pushing buttons.
- Right.
I promise.
I won't investigate the super interesting mystery of Watch Hole.
Chubbie, it's high time you learned some responsibility.
- You're on Watch Hole duty, too.
- Unh-unh! Yeah, either that, or we choppa the balls.
You'll need our badges to get in.
They're outfitted to explode when you squeeze them, so remember, don't do that.
No.
No! Good luck, Jen I mean, Agent Sanders, Agent Webbers.
Agent Magafferty, how'd it go? Great.
You can hear yourself aging down there, feel your organs wasting away.
You're up next.
Enjoy.
That's settled.
Now, let's get off the grid so no one at Hot Streets gets wise.
Please, scan badge and state name for voice recognition.
Failure will result in instant death.
Welcome back, Agent Branski and Agent French.
Phew! Now, to get to the bottom of this Watch Hole.
J.
A.
S.
O.
N.
, bypass security systems.
Bypassing security.
Up yours, security.
Stop worrying, Chubbie! Sit in the corner and dream about me petting you or something.
Great, another babysitter.
"Project Watch Hole prevents outer space from turning into every space.
" What does that mean? Wait a minute.
You can actually hear me.
Will you remove the sheet? Please? It's been so long.
I'm Rufia 1-12.
No one has ever been able to hear me, but you're different.
I've never seen an agent with two badges.
You must be a superagent! Pretty fascinating what happens when you squeeze the badges, right? "The containment of Rufia 1-12 is of the utmost importance for the security of all civilization.
" Wow.
What have we gotten ourselves into, Chubbie? Chubbie?! You could use those to free me.
I understand.
I know you can't.
It's a shame.
If I were free, I could see the rings of Saturn one more time! But I'll probably just be stuck in here for another 2,000 years.
Containment breach.
Containment breach.
Containment breach.
Thanks, Superagent.
Bye.
Uncle Mark is gonna kill me! Let me out! Please scan badge to exit.
Oh, no! Ugh.
I gave my badge to He calls himself Superagent, and he's the one responsible for turning outer space to every space.
That's right.
Just yesterday, an atmosphere exploded throughout the universe, making it possible for anyone to become interstellar travelers.
Some folks took a redeye to the Red Planet, while others schmoozed with sentient life forms, and this tiny boy is on the ride of his life.
Look at him go! No doubt about it every space is everything everyone's every-wanted, and we all have Superagent to thank.
We caught up with Superagent at a press conference earlier today where the mayor presented the key to the city to Superagent.
Oh, Rufia 1-12 Here's your target, a dashing rogue operative known only as "Superagent.
" He's responsible for the Watch Hole breach.
Consider him dead.
These fools are actually celebrating every space.
If they only knew what's coming.
Anyone word from French or Branski? We can only presume that Superagent seduced and killed them.
Brr! Ugh.
The Bahamas of the North sucks.
Nothing to do, stuck in this damn snow cabana.
I wonder how Jen and Chubbie Webbers are doing.
Who cares about them? I'm losing my mind bored.
I know.
Let's play sing the numbers.
I'll go first.
One, two, two Three, three, three Four, four, four, four Shut up! Damn alarm! Blue buttons always save the day.
Self-destruct sequence initiated.
Blue button! Self-destruction in three seconds.
Two seconds.
Ha! - Self-destruction postponed - Blue button! - for 3 more seconds.
- Blue button! Doom! Whoo! Drinks on the house! Hey, you have to pay for these.
Don't [bleep.]
with Superagent, mother[bleep.]
.
Oh, Rufia? Oh.
Will you sign my forehead, Superagent? Good evening.
This is Brent Bryce.
Turns out every space was too good to be true.
The Ambassadors of Doom are landing on Earth on the backs of some fairly scary dragon.
The Ambassadors of Doom? Due to the new physics of every space, these evil-doers traveled easily from their home planet to enslave ours.
Every space has doomed our world.
Somebody get this shit off my forehead! Yep, it seems Superagent was actually the cause of our worst nightmares, but, if you ask me, I still kind of like the guy.
Hi, Superagent.
That was for you.
My chip-dipping hand.
Death is inevitable, Superagent! You can escape me, but you can't escape cancer! Fun fact activating the badge swords gives you cancer.
We go live now to the Mayor and the Ambassadors of Doom.
Hey, uh, I I'm the mayor, and I know what you're thinking, but the Ambassadors of Doom have fresh, new ideas about, uh, how we should all die.
In other news, Brent Bryce is not ready to die.
Superagent, can you hear me? We need you now more than ever.
The mayor is right.
You're all going to die tomorrow.
And not even your so-called Superagent can help you now.
What is that infernal quacking?! Brent Bryce? Yes, Superagent? Help me, Brent Bryce! Anything for Superagent.
It's no use.
Our armies are on the way.
As long as outer space is every space, you are doomed! I never left the desk before until you.
You're a special guy, my top story.
Now, you must find that evil Rufia 1-12 and turn every space back to outer space.
- No, not evil! - Superagent, she broke your heart, treated you like a disposable pretaped fluff segment.
- No, no, no! - Okay, have it your way.
But finding her is going to be tricky.
She could be anywhere - in all of every space.
- Hmm.
If I were free, I could see the rings of Saturn one more time.
It's even more beautiful than I ever remembered.
I shouldn't have left you like that.
I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was a ball of energy.
I didn't mean to hide who I really was.
You're a dog? So, that's how you could hear me! You and your girlfriend are doomed, Superagent! This just in me! My freedom is causing the destruction of the universe.
I have to go back, Superagent.
Self-destruction in 3 seconds.
2 seconds.
1 second.
Whew! It's like nothing happened, right? Oh, who am I kidding? I'm [bleep.]
.
Hey-oh! Jen, is there anything you need to tell me? I opened up the security system, Chubbie flew out into outer space, turned outer space into every space, I pushed a blue button.
Yeah.
That sounds like boring old Watch Hole.
You know what we all need? Cheap sushi.
Who wants cheap sushi? My treat.
- Cheap sushi on Branski! - Ah-ha! Got you, Supera French and Branski? You're not dead? Dead? I wish after two straight weeks in Watch Hole.
Wait.
Wait.
So, Watch Hole wasn't breached.
Was this all just a dream? Must've been exactly like "The Wizard of Oz.
" Come on.
Let's get you boys out of here.
Hmm Good-bye, Chubbie Webbers.
I love you.
What's Chubbie babbling on about? Probably nothing important.
He's just a dog.