How to Rock (2012) s01e03 Episode Script

Okay, question.
Am I losing my mind, or is that guy riding a unicorn? That's really two questions.
Hello? Am I the only person that finds this weird? We're used to this, Zander.
Every year Justin Comb has a new.
Gimmick for giving out his party invitations.
What a surprise.
He's inviting all The Perfs.
The first invitation.
Thanks, Justin.
First invitation after Molly but before everyone else's? Thanks, Justin.
I gotta say, this is better than that Ostrich you wore last year.
That thing pecked me right in the old groinerino.
Wow.
This must be some party.
Oh yeah.
Last year he had pigs in a blanket that were actually served by a pig in a blanket.
Wow! Really? Don't ask us.
We've never been invited.
Well, I mean, it wasn't that great.
Will.
I.
Am only sang three songs.
Oh! Kacey.
I'll see you Saturday.
Actually, Justin, you won't.
I'm not coming.
Excuse me? You know I'm not a perfect anymore.
These are my friends now.
And if they're not invited, then I'm not coming.
Are you sure? Because we're having this amazing Don't tell me.
I don't want to know.
Is it a costume photo booth? Don't tell me! I don't want to know.
You know what? Not only are they cool, we're in a band, and we are awesome.
And if you're lucky, we might just rock your party.
Well, cool.
I can't believe I never met these guys before.
Actually, you and I were in kindergarten together.
Yeah.
You were that kid that used to run away from his own farts.
Still do.
Stop talking, Nelson.
I'll see you guys at the party.
Itate ta ti-anna, multipurpose room four.
That's really cool of you.
You're my friends.
And friends don't let friends miss awesome parties.
Well done, Kacey.
This party will totally cement your new reputation.
Yes, it will.
Wait.
What new reputation.
As a former perfect, now with embarrassing losers.
Ouch.
I thought you were saying something nice to her, and then whammo.
You know what? My friends are going to rock Justin's party.
Hey, Nelson, you're right.
You can make a perfectly good mustache out of cheese curls.
Right? Only You Can Be You Only I can be me You always want to be what you're not Could you be happy with what you've got You're perfect the way you are Life is too short to worry Don't you know it's true Only You Can Be You Only I can be me Only You Can Be You You Can Be You Only I can be me I can be me Only You Can Be You Only I can be me Only You Can Be You Only I can be me Okay.
Now you may be wondering why I've called you all here.
You didn't call us all here.
We were rehearsing, and you just started talking.
Okay.
You may be wondering why I just started talking during rehearsals.
Is this a lecture on how we should act at Justin Cole's party? No.
It's to answer any questions you may have on how you should act at Justin Cole's party.
I don't have any questions.
You guys? - No.
- Zero questions here.
- I'm good.
- You don't understand.
You have no idea how to act at a party like this.
This is the first big party Gravity 5 is going to as a crew.
If any one of us comes off badly, badly, and by one of us, I mean one of you, we all look bad.
Do you know what, Kacey? Don't do me any favors.
I have no interest in going to this stupid party.
So you have one less problem to worry about.
That's fantastic! I'll miss you.
Love you.
Mean it.
Okay.
Try to visualize.
You are at Justin Cole's party.
Everywhere you are surrounded by the coolest students in the school.
These cookies are stuck together.
They're plastic.
That was my second complaint.
But I didn't want to seem too negative.
They're just for display, not for eating.
Come on, guys.
I know you think this just one party.
This party has the power to dictate the rest of your High School life.
I appreciate your passion, Kacey but I'll skip the training.
I've been to lots of parties.
You're right, Zander.
You're cool.
But just out of curiosity, what are you planning to wear Saturday night? I don't know.
I don't plan what I'm going to wear.
I just wear what I wear.
I got my style.
It works for me.
Probably does, but you're not gonna Wear what you're wearing right now, right? - Of course not.
- Whoo.
Why? No big deal.
It's just that this is an important party, and those are everyday clothes.
Which is why I'm not going to wear them as I said.
- Good.
- No, not good.
Great.
Is there any food here made of food? Stop with the food.
You need to mingle.
Mingle.
Mingle.
Hey, how you doing? - How's it going? - Great to see you.
- You look great.
- No, you do.
Okay.
Both of us do.
Conversation.
Go.
Hey, Grace.
Okay.
That's good.
Now keep going.
In fifth grade I saw your butt.
No! Is that the best you can do? Yes.
This ain't so bad.
Focus.
So Kacey, if I needed help figuring out what to wear to this party, which I don't, what do you think about something like this? That would be totally wrong.
Right.
This is exactly what I'm trying to avoid.
Zander, you just need to wear something dressy but not too dressy and make sure that it's sophisticated but not too stuffy and and chic but not too trendy.
You don't have to spend a lot of money as long as it doesn't look cheap.
Got it? What's not to get? The county fair is in town on Saturday night.
You're not going to Justin Cole's party? No.
I am.
I just thought that you might want to be someplace that's as far away as possible from where your new friends will be humiliating themselves and some.
At someplace that has a petting zoo.
Well, thank you, but I think I'll be at Justin Cole's party.
Stop thinking about the petting zoo.
How did you know? Stevie, right? Oh, hi.
I didn't recognize you without your unicorn.
That was a little over the top, wasn't it? Just a bit.
Hey, I was disappointed to hear you're not coming to the party on Saturday.
You were? Yeah.
You seem like you're pretty cool.
I was hoping to see you there.
I can come.
I mean I couldn't come when I said I couldn't come because I had a thing which is a real thing and not a made-up thing.
But now that thing isn't a thing anymore, so I can come.
Great.
- I'll see you there.
- Great.
So I'm thinking I might just swing by the party for a little bit.
What? But you haven't even gone through any of the training.
I don't need training.
It's just a party.
It's not just a party.
It's Justin Cole's party.
Oh my gosh! I have no clothes.
Calm down.
Go get your bag.
I'm taking you to the mall.
Hi, Kacey.
Out of the way! The county fair might be fun.
- Ah.
Hey, Justin.
- I feel weird.
You look fantastic! - I look like you.
- Same difference.
- Dude, smell my breath.
- You smell mine.
Hah.
Stop smelling each other.
Now, come on.
Remember your training.
You can do this.
Let's rock this party.
Kacey, can you please take these off? In a little while.
- Kacey! - Come on! Okay.
But you have to promise me that you'll be good.
- We promise.
- Okay.
I'm going to unzip this a little.
It's hot.
Zander, trust me, you don't want to do that.
If people see a square inch of that ugly shirt you bought, you're dead in the water.
I only bought it because you got in my head and I couldn't think it.
Besides autogot this cool shirt.
Check it.
It got a cool collar.
Zip it and keep it zipped.
Can't breathe.
All right, Kacey, let's get fabulous.
Look at you.
Dang! - Hey, how you doing? - Howdy.
What's up? What's this? Is it a v.
I.
P.
Area? Maybe.
What's v.
I.
P.
About it? I don't know.
But we're gonna find out.
- Hey, looking good.
- What's up, my man? I don't think so.
- Me either.
- Bad idea.
Who wants to go in there anyway.
It's ridiculous.
It's just like this area but on the other side of a rope.
Exactly.
- I want to get in there so bad.
- Oh, we're gettin' in there.
Look who I found.
Hey, Justin.
- Doesn't she look pretty? - Yeah.
You look great.
Oops.
Well, looks like I'm a third wheel and we're way too old for bicycles.
So bye-bye.
You really do look great.
Thanks.
I went to the mall and went shopping and got my nails done, because you know I'm a girl and that's what I love to do.
Yay.
You okay? - I'm okay.
- Let's grab something to drink.
Ooh.
- Are you hurt? - I'm fine.
You know what? I can't do this.
This isn't me.
This is me covered in Kacey.
Sorry to disappoint you.
No.
I'm not disappointed.
You look even better now.
Thanks.
I like thaw don't try so hard.
You're cool.
I guess I don't need these anymore.
Oh, um, oops.
Don't worry about it.
I'm rich.
And really good looking.
Zander, we need your help.
We need to get to the perf v.
I.
P.
Area.
- Why? - Because they won't let us.
Head in the game.
Here's the plan.
You distract the bouncer by faking an injury.
- Butt cramp.
- No.
- Loss of bladder control.
- No.
- You swallowed a bug.
- Okay.
I'll go with butt cramp.
Okay, nice.
Even, this is a nice suit.
Is this made of wool? Oh.
Butt cramp.
Horrible butt cramp! I get those all the time.
You've got to walk that off.
Okay.
We're in.
Oh my goodness.
It's a whole different world.
How did you guys get in here? - We know people.
Shall we dance? - No.
Shall I dance? Yes.
Hello, Nelson.
- Hey.
- How's it going? In fifth grade I saw your butt.
Hey.
That's a cute story.
Come on, guys.
Let's get some drinks.
Kacey.
You really worked wonders with them.
- Zander looks hot.
- He always does.
No, I mean like hot, like sweaty hot.
No, don't see it.
What are you doing? Hey, Zander, I can't help but notice you have kept your jacket on this whole party.
Just enjoying my stylish jacket.
It's kind of looks like you're hiding something.
Are you wearing a wire? No.
Aren't you hot? You're sweating.
- And your face is red.
- And you're kind of stinky.
Ladies, ladies.
It's called cologne.
Do you know what's great? Chocolate pineapple.
Do you know what's even better? Chocolate brownie.
Do you know what's even better? Chocolate roast beef sandwich.
So then my mom opens the laundry room and there they were.
What do you keep looking at? Nothing, nobody.
Look at me.
All right.
I'll admit chocolate bagel isn't bad.
Do you know what's even better? Chocolate bits.
What have you done? I've never really been into girlie stuff.
It's probably because I grew up with four brothers.
Do they beat up guys that like you? No.
- Why? - No reason.
Well, my brothers know better than to mess with me.
I can beat them all in leg wrestling.
Really? I've never been beaten at leg wrestling myself.
Oh well There's a first time for everything.
Bring it! Oh, I don't think you're ready for this.
Oh, I don't think you can handle.
- Okay.
- 1, 2, 3.
So after three hours in the E.
R.
, they finally managed to remove the kazoo.
Now my cousin only place it the right way.
That's a really sad story.
I could barely listen to it because your sweat is grossing me out really bad.
Come on, Zander, take the jacket off.
Why would he take off such a hip and stylish jacket? I love it.
I would never take it off.
Really? I usually think what Zander wears is pretty cool.
But this, not so much.
Hear that, Kacey.
She likes my style.
I should have never let you make me doubt myself.
Zander, I wouldn't I tried to save you.
- If I let you get in my head, I would have worn a plain white t-shirt.
Where's Stevie? Did you leave her unattended? - Oh, you're killing me? - Oh, no.
- Wait! What are you doing? - Kicking his butt.
What is wrong with you? Justin, I am so sorry.
Chill out, Kacey.
I'm finally enjoying this dumb party for a change.
I grant you, Nelson.
Your ** boat is a break through.
However, prepared to be dazzled by chocolate sock.
No! No! Are you kidding me? Drop that sock.
You cannot be serious! This is how you act at a party? Are you trying to throw your lives away? - Kacey.
- No.
This is a disaster.
This night could not possibly get more embarrassing.
This is a really cute outfit.
This is ridiculous, Kacey! You need to go.
Come on, guys.
Let's go.
Hang on.
They don't have to go.
They're being totally cool.
You're the problem.
You're right.
I was so worried about how my friends would make me look that I didn't realize how I was making them look.
I'm sorry, guys.
I'll go.
It's for the best, Kacey.
I'm sure the county f air's still open.
Ooh, you can pet a baby goat.
Wait.
If she's leaving, I'm leaving.
- Me too.
- Yeah, I'm out.
- I've got to take a bath.
- Why would you all leave? The only reason we're here in the first place is because Kacey stuck her neck out for us.
Yeah.
She just wanted us to fit in.
She went a little off the deep end.
- A little.
- Like crazy.
Okay.
But it's just because she wanted everyone to think we were cool.
You guys are cool.
And I should have let you be yourselves.
I'm so sorry and Justin, I am sorry I ruined your party.
But I think I know a way we can make it up to you.
Na na na na hey now, hey now, hey now na na na hey now, hey now, hey now like a birt in the sky yeah, you know I'm flying high and if you don't like it, it's all right I don't care why one thing on my mind all day all night only going to the top never never never gonna stop I won't look down there's let the rhythm take you we can rock this town don't let no one change you they can't break you down we'll be dancin' in the street.
Here for everyone to see don't hang around if you're a hater see me now, won't see me later no one can hold me back not even worth my time Hope you're on top of yours because I'm on top of mine nothing can hold me back I'll be the first in line if you feel it, feel it come on come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now life is a treasure, viva forever, oh oh a oh so if you're bringing the negative, you better go life is a treasure, viva forever, oh oh a oh and if you're down with the positive, let me here you say here you say no one can hold me back not even words like that Hope you're on top of yours I'm on top of mine nothing can hold me back I'll be the first in line if you feel it come on, come on hey hey come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on hey now, hey now, hey now come on, come on Nelson, go talk to her.
You can do this.
How can you possibly believe that after what I said to her on the v.
I.
P area.
I'm sure she forgot them.
Her brain can only hold like two or three things at a time.
Now go.
And be yourself.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Your papaya cup is genius, Nelson.
Aww, thanks.
Make the chocolate really papaya-y, right? Hey, just so you know, that summer at camp, I saw your butt too.
Aww man.
Did my bathing suit fall off on the slide? No.
You pulled your pants down and some kid was drawing a clown on it.
Oh yeah.
Oh, that was just a dumb bet.
The winner got to draw a clown on your butt? No, no.
I was the winner.
Ohhhh, of course.
- Papaya cup? - Big time.