How to Ruin Love (2024) s01e03 Episode Script

Answer me, right now.
I asked you a question.
What are you doing here?
- Zoleka, um, I'm Mapula.
- I know who you are.
Where is Kagiso? Kagiso!
Kagiso isn't here.
[scoffs] I've heard that one before.
[shouts] Kagiso!
- [Katlego] Oh, hey, man. No.
- [Zoleka] Kagiso!
[Katlego] You're making a noise.
What's the problem? [sighs]
What's wrong with her?
Where's Kagiso?
Don't you even
think about covering for him.
How should I know where the hell he is?
You're making a noise.
Kagiso!
- Hey!
- Kagiso!
- You see?
- [chuckles]
[Zoleka] Kagiso! Kagiso!
Where the hell is he?
I know that you know.
Mm-mmm. I'm not a prophet.
I don't know where Kagiso is.
Let me guess.
Your gold-digging ears
heard that Kagiso is getting money
and you came running, huh?
Zoleka, at least I'm not
embarrassed to introduce him to my family.
- [Katlego] Mmm.
- Yeah, he told me.
[Katlego] Mmm. [clicks tongue]
- Zoleka!
- [Zoleka grunts]
I was wondering
if you ever feel embarrassed
- when you look in the mirror?
- Mmm.
As pretty as you are?
No, man.
Leave.
Go away.
[sighs]
[Katlego] Hey! Don't break the floor.
[both laugh]
Oh, my gosh. This one.
[Amo] I'm telling you, my friend.
That Mapula girl,
I give a 10 out of 10, my guy.
Mapula makes it rain just like her name.
There you go again. Like always.
Don't start.
Oh, okay then. Nine.
Nine and a half, okay?
[clicks tongue]
Honestly though,
if you didn't come through last night,
Katlego would have
married me off to Mapula by this morning.
Ah, my guy, if I were you,
I would've smashed a long time ago.
Just saying.
- Hey, man. You're full of shit.
- Oh, man, sorry. Too soon, yeah?
Hello, my boys. Hello, my boys. Hey.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- Move, move, move.
Come on. Remove your feet, boys.
- Here's some food.
- [Kagiso] Thanks, Dad.
- [Amo] Thank you, thank you.
- [Papi] There you go.
[Kagiso] Thanks for letting us sleep over
last night.
Ah, it's okay, my boy.
- [Papi] Mm-mmm.
- And now? What's going on?
When Khutso left the house,
did she take the salt with her?
[Papi] Salt causes high blood pressure.
What's going on with you?
[clears throat]
Salt wouldn't be able to save this.
[Amo] My friend,
let's rather go over to your flat.
Your mom is there, right?
At least she'll give us real food.
No hard feelings, Papi.
- No, you give that back.
- [groans]
There's nothing wrong with the food.
We don't need women in our lives at all.
[Amo whimpers]
[clears throat]
- [chuckles]
- [Papi] Hmm.
[vehicle approaches]
Uh, Mr. Sheriff.
Mr. Phatudi.
[Papi] Mr. Malatji.
How are you? [chuckles]
Uh, I'm good. Thank you.
Listen, could you get this to Babalwa
for me to sign it.
If I do that, you won't evict us
from the house?
Oh, no. No, no.
Look, uh, eviction notice right here.
Yes.
So you'll give it to her to sign, right?
Seriously, man. Read the room.
So, in other words, you're saying no?
- [Kagiso] Get the hell out of here!
- [Amo] Hey, hey! Hey!
Now Khutso will never come home.
You shouldn't worry so much, man.
You were right.
We don't need women in our lives.
- They're too annoying.
- Hey. Stop it, please man. Hold this.
But that's what he said to us.
Don't listen to him, Dad.
Don't worry, Dad.
I'll make a plan with the bank.
- We won't lose this house.
- Oh, thank you so much.
- [phone buzzes]
- Thank you, my boy.
Yes, my sister.
What happened?
Geez. Okay, I'm on the way.
- [Amo] Dude?
- I have to go. There's a problem.
- [Amo] Problems?
- [engine starts]
- Things are happening.
- Where are you going, buddy?
- [Papi] Everybody's crazy
- But I was still eating.
- What I feel
- Buddy? Buddy?
Everybody was just leaving.
- Poodle, go.
- [Poodle] Yo!
[clears throat]
Hmm.
Now listen here,
if you're planning
on divorcing my brother,
that's your decision. It's fine.
Just know you're leaving that house
with nothing else but what you're wearing.
You always make it so hard
for anyone to ask for your help, Doreen.
[gasps]
Khutso.
You want my help? Really?
Come.
Okay, spill it.
Um [clears throat]
As you already know
[grunts, stammers]
as you know,
Kagiso isn't getting millions
from the app anymore,
so he won't be able to pay for the house.
- Hmm.
- And you keep saying it's your home too.
So, I think it's time that
you also help to pay for it, Doreen.
I've been trying for some time now
to contribute.
Your husband is being stubborn.
[scoffs]
Okay, but, what if
you pay the bill, but you let him think
that it's Kagiso who paid it.
[gasps] Oh, no.
You're talking to Doreen?
You want me to lie?
No, Sister. I'm not used to lying. Oh, no.
Papi needs to know who the hero really is.
Mm-hmm. Rambo.
Who's the boss? ♪
I knew coming here was a bad idea.
Hey, now, who is the boss? ♪
I'm kidding. I'm joking, come on.
[sighs] Okay, fine.
I'll pay for the house.
Thank you.
I mean, I also don't want
to lose my family home.
And please,
Papi can never know about this, okay?
Okay.
Okay.
Mmm.
[Mapula] Babes, honestly.
You don't have to do this.
- Where is she?
- [Katlego] Who?
Are you talking about your hot mess
in the bathroom?
Kagi, babes.
Honestly, I get why you dumped her
Wait. Later.
[sighs]
[knocking]
[Kagiso] Zoleka, open the door.
[door handle jangling]
[knocking]
- Zoleka, open the door.
- Go away.
Babe, nothing happened.
[scoffs]
- Oh, really?
- Yes, nothing happened.
So you didn't confide in
your ex-girlfriend about us?
Confide? That's a strong word.
I mentioned one thing.
[Zoleka] Well, clearly,
all men are the same.
- First Simphiwe, now you.
- [Kagiso sighs] And here's Simphiwe again.
How am I always paying
for a crime that I didn't commit?
- Fine, you didn't cheat.
- How?
You didn't cheat,
but you still broke my trust, Kagiso.
How would you feel
if I did the same thing to you?
If I told Simphiwe
about your family problems?
You wouldn't like that, would you?
- And here's family problem number one.
- Uh, hey, relax, huh?
- I'm here to check on my brother.
- [Kagiso] Katlego, please leave.
You and your condoms
have caused enough problems.
- Wait, those cheap condoms were yours?
- Cheap?
Katlego, leave!
[Katlego] Okay, fine.
I'll leave.
With your ex, my friend, Mapula.
We're going to have fun.
- [Zoleka] Gross.
- [Katlego] You're gross. Let's go, friend!
- Let's go. [chuckles]
- [Mapula] Yes, yes. Let's go, my friend.
So all this time those condoms were hers?
Why didn't you just say so?
None of this would've happened.
Because you'd already assumed
that I was cheating.
And I apologize for that.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, you apologized, Zoleka,
but this is what you always do.
You always like to assume things.
Can't we just move on?
[Kagiso] Not if we don't trust each other.
You think I'm cheating on you.
I was I was ready to marry you.
To prove my commitment to you.
[grunts] I don't know.
What What more do you want?
Who puts a chair there?
- Careful.
- Honestly, what the
- A chair there
- Look, can't we just
Can't we just erase the past few days
and, I don't know, start over?
Oh, yeah. That's like asking Uncle Godfrey
to come up with an original story idea.
- [sighs]
- [chuckles]
[sighs]
We can still do it, you know.
Just me and you.
We don't need other people.
Marriage is between two people.
Zoleka, you know our families.
They'd kill us before we say, "I do."
Yeah, but they don't need to know.
And your dad?
I don't need his blessing
or his permission.
I just need you.
Zoleka.
This is the craziest plan
you've ever come up with.
Okay, and this includes the time
you stalked your agent
to get them to sign you.
I mean it's It's insane.
Yeah, well, love is insane.
And I love you.
And And the fact that
I actually got the agent to listen to me
means it's it's good
because I'm an actress today.
- I don't need some big fancy wedding
- Wow.
or some big white dress.
We don't need family members
who last saw us when we were babies.
And, this way, we could save some money
for our happy place?
To build a home
and have little Phatudis running around.
Zoleka, about our happy place,
I need to tell you something.
- I was trying to tell you actually that
- [sighs]
- I asked
- Kagiso Edward Phatudi.
Oh, come now! Not the second name.
Well, that's how serious this is.
Baby, will you marry me?
You're insane,
but I'm going to marry you.
[both chuckle]
We're getting married.
- We're getting married. Mmm.
- We're getting married. Mmm-hmm.
[both chuckle]
[Amahle] Five, six, seven, eight.
- Burn! Feel the burn!
- [house music playing]
Close, open. This is not about
what it looks like, but how it feels.
How it feels, feel the burn.
Hey there, friend.
I was really hoping
to catch you before your class.
Can we talk?
You stay, you step.
Okay.
Uh. Sorry, sir.
Uh, you look like you could use a break.
Can I take over?
- Okay.
- Okay, thank you.
[whispers] Okay.
[Amahle] That's right.
[clears throat] Uh, friend.
Kagiso and I are getting married today.
[Zoleka chuckles]
[shouts] Hey, hey, hey!
If anyone records this,
you'll do 30 burpees in a row,
and you'll wait for everyone to be done.
Yeah. Thank you.
[panting]
So, you got your dad's blessing?
Uh, no.
We're eloping.
You? Eloping?
Ms. I-Planned-My-Dream-Wedding-
Since-I-was-In-Grade-Two?
Okay, okay, ha-ha.
Yes [panting]
and,
there's no one else
I would want there besides you.
At my wedding.
And gosh, this talking
and stepping is really hard.
- [music stops]
- Thank you. [sighs]
So what about having your dad walk
you down the aisle in your mom's veil?
None of that matters.
[sighs]
You've always been
the one person who's supported me.
I mean, you you helped me read my lines
every time I had an audition.
And you had me over and you let me
crash at your place for three months
after I broke up with Simphiwe.
[sighs] You're more family to me
than anyone else.
So does that mean you don't think
I'm a whoring whore anymore?
Oh, that you are.
- Are you serious?
- I mean, raise your hand
- if you've ever slept with Amahle.
- Oh, okay. Relax. Wow.
Wow. Okay, all right. Thank you.
- [Zoleka] See?
- [scoffs]
So?
Are you going to help me out
with my wedding or not?
We're getting married!
[both laugh]
[Amahle] I can't stand you.
- Oh, you're all sweaty.
- Wait.
How did you manage to score
a venue at such short notice?
Oh, well, um,
I don't have one yet.
- Zoleka.
- But! But I know the perfect place.
It's going to work out.
It's going to be great.
- Okay, okay. Nkululeko, take over.
- Yeah.
- [Amahle] Come get your stuff. Let's go.
- Okay. Oh.
- [house music continues]
- [both giggle]
[door closes]
[Khutso] Kagiso.
Kagiso!
Hey, Mom. Wow.
Hey. You look beautiful, nice.
What's different?
You changed your hair, right?
Yeah, you changed your hair.
That's what it is.
- It's so pretty. Just look at it.
- No.
- It's magnificent, Mom.
- Listen.
- I want to talk to you about something.
- Mom, wait.
Yeah. The lighting is better
when we're here.
- You're going to make me fall.
- I want to see your hairstyle properly.
Yeah, right here, Mom.
Yes.
You know, Mom, your hair
[exclaims]shining.
Magnificent. Yeah.
- Are you okay?
- Mmm.
Why are you acting weird?
[blows raspberry] I'm all good.
- Oh, guess what?
- Mmm?
I found a way to pay for the house.
So don't worry about it, my child.
Just focus on yourself
and focus on your future.
How did you fix it?
Don't worry about that.
- Mom.
- Hmm?
- Thank you.
- Oh, my son.
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
- Thank you so much.
- Okay.
Mmm.
- And the suit?
- What?
- Hey, Mom.
- Where are you going?
- Why are you dressing up?
- Hey, hey. Mom
- Where are we going?
- So beautiful.
So much volume and so pretty.
Shiny. Mom [grunts]
Are you sure they'll let you
have your wedding here?
It's such short notice.
I told you, we're over here
shooting all the time.
And telenovelas love having
weddings here, and celebrities.
So, it's perfect. We're gonna be fine.
[sighs]
Pretty, huh?
Yeah, it's really pretty.
[exhales]
Okay.
- Okay, wait, Zoleka.
- Hmm?
Last chance, all right.
Are you sure this is what you want to do?
I mean, without your father,
your mother's veil?
You love that thing, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah, of course I'm sure.
Come on, let's go. We're doing this. Hmm?
One, two, three
Well, call me Jesus.
What?
- Oh. Amahle.
- Hey.
- Jessica.
- Jess.
Of course.
- I forgot your parents own this place.
- Hmm.
Oh, you two know each other?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, used to.
Oh.
- [clears throat]
- Hi. [chuckles]
Jess. So good to see you again.
- Mm-hmm.
- Love this place, by the way.
Um, so I was wondering,
um, do you think you could host me
for my wedding day?
- [inhales] Today? Yeah.
- [chuckles]
Oh, I'll take lots of pictures.
Just for you. For your wall of fame.
You wanna get married today?
Yeah.
Nothing fancy. It will be super short.
Mmm.
- Short?
- Yeah.
Like how you kept our relationship?
Whoa, she really is not over that.
[clears throat]
Listen, Jess, um,
I promise you I will pay you anything.
- Anything you want.
- I have a wedding in three hours.
- There's no room at the inn. [chuckles]
- [chuckles]
See, this is why I ghosted her.
She's full of herself. Geez.
Um, if you do this for us,
I'll get her to apologize to you.
- What?
- Really?
- Yes.
- No.
Just do it!
[Zoleka chuckles]
Her idea of foreplay
is freaking reciting the ten commandments.
I don't even know them.
Listen,
I'm not asking you to sleep with her.
I'm asking you to apologize to her,
so I can get married to Kagiso,
and get this nightmare of a weekend
behind us, please!
- No, not with Jess.
- Friend, please.
- Not with Jess, though.
- [sighs]
Okay, fine.
I'll get you an inverter
to cover your entire house.
My Valentine's Day gift to you.
- Say no more.
- Let's go.
[Amahle] Jessica!
- Jessica.
- Mmm?
- Jessica van der Merwe, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Jessica, I
- Now you remember?
- I'm really sorry.
- [laughs]
You did not deserve to be treated
the way I treated you.
- No one deserves that.
- Yes, no one.
- Um, I'm working on my childhood traumas.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, I'm trying to figure out
why I fear commitment so much.
But please, don't punish my best friend
just because I'm trash.
Please?
Okay, I have a wedding at 4:00.
You need to be out by 3:00.
- My guests are arriving at 3:30.
- We'll be out by 2:00.
And you're definitely going on
that celebrity wall of fame.
- Oh, yeah.
- Absolutely.
Thank you for the apology, Amy.
I really appreciate it.
- You're welcome.
- Hope to see you again.
- Hmm.
- Okay.
Okay.
You lied to that poor lady, didn't you?
Listen, all I could think of
was that sweet,
sweet inverter
firing up my entire apartment.
You are welcome.
- You're amazing.
- [both inhale, exhale]
Okay.
Hey. Hurry up.
Walking around like old men.
What's the world coming to?
Men these days.
[grunts] Damn it! [sighs]
I need a bigger gate.
All right. Come, come, come.
All right. You two, go that side.
You come with me.
All right.
So, we're starting with this tree
over here. Okay?
I want you to cut it like this.
Wait. You gotta hit it
from the bottom there.
[grunting]
- You get me, right? Okay. All right.
- All right.
- Hey, hey! Hey, you. Who are you?
- Mmm.
Hey, Doreen, you can't waltz into my house
here and start cutting my tree down.
- Do you mean our tree? Mm-hmm.
- [scoffs]
I gave Khutso money to pay off the house.
So, this is my house!
And right now, you and I are partners.
What's mine is yours.
What's yours is mine.
- Get to chopping.
- Hey, hey!
You dare chop that tree off,
and I'll show you trouble
like you've never seen before.
- You don't know what I'm capable of.
- [sighs] Take that glass
- You don't know me very well.
- and put it over there.
- You don't know me. Now, leave.
- [shouts]
- Papi, no!
- I'm not going to play with you. Leave.
- Where are you running to? Get out!
- [all shouting]
- Leave! This is my yard, you bloody fools!
- [Doreen shouts]
[whistles]
- Hello, Judge.
- How are you?
Hello, kids.
How are you doing? Martin, good day.
Judge Skhosana.
Ah, Judge Dzana.
[chuckles]
We thought you weren't coming
because you keep losing every year.
Uh, no. Last time I let you win
for your kids' sake.
It's bad enough that
you're a magistrate judge.
Yes, but at least my daughter
isn't a better player than me.
- Ha, funny.
- So tell me, where is Zoleka?
You know, the kids are excited to see her.
Zoleka is busy shooting something.
Well, kids,
- Zoleka isn't coming. Sorry.
- [sighs]
[Martin] I have a worthy replacement.
- Simphiwe.
- Yes, sir.
- Oh, come on.
- You left your sunglasses in my car.
- Thank you.
- Uh, Judge Skhosana.
[Skhosana] Not this guy again.
Didn't you and Zoleka break up?
You know, I actually argued a case
before you a few years ago.
Yeah, but I really miss Zoleka.
Let's play.
[Amo grunts]
- Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
- [exclaims]
- The man.
- [Amo] My guy, my guy.
- [laughs]
- Hey. Wearing shoes like Papa Penny's.
You're an idiot.
[vocalizing, laughs]
Look, man. I've been doing my research.
TBC church and all.
Google search turns up nothing.
Why does it feel like your wedding's
gonna take place in those dodgy churches
where they spray each other
with pesticides?
Are you high?
My text said the venue is TBC.
It means, "to be confirmed".
Oh.
Zoleka and Amahle are looking
for a venue right now.
Okay. No, I misunderstood you, my friend.
Clearly you did. Wow.
- Okay. There we go.
- Let's do this.
Zoleka sent me a text. They got a venue,
and sent the location. Let's go.
Bro, just wait. Are you sure
you want to do this without your family?
You know what happened
at that lunch the other day.
They'll understand.
Besides, they want me to be happy,
and Zoleka makes me happy.
- Hmm. All right, let's hit the road.
- Yeah.
[laughs]
- You're very pink today.
- And you look like a white wall.
[both laugh]
I can already hear your dad.
He's gonna say,
"We are Phatudis.
We do everything together.
No one comes between us."
- Hey? [chuckles]
- Yeah, you know how he is.
Let's go to The Grand.
What do you say?
Just go and let loose one last time.
- [indistinct]
- No, no. Not The Grand, okay? No way.
- You sure?
- Yeah.
- You'll have bad luck, bro.
- [clicks tongue]
- Don't say I never warned you, my friend.
- No. No, man.
[both laugh]
Hello, baby. I love you.
[laughing]
Friend, I can't believe
how you were able to conjure up
your dream wedding dress
in a matter of hours.
- You're a superstar, my friend.
- [giggles] Of course.
- Perks of being a celebrity, my dear.
- Yes.
- I mean, designers are dying to dress me.
- Oh, yeah.
Which is why we need to take pictures
because I promised I'll post on my feed.
Maybe a story, and just four pictures.
Okay, what does that have to do with me?
Excuse me, ma'am. Did you forget?
- Yeah, thought so.
- Okay.
- Selfie number one.
- Oh.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Oh. That is so cute. [chuckles]
- That's cute.
- I love it.
- Now what is taking Kagiso so long?
It is only 12:55, so we've got time.
- Relax, bride-to-be.
- [sighs]
- It's your wedding day.
- Oh, wait. Say that again.
- Bride-to-be, it's your wedding day.
- Yes? Yes! [giggles]
- You like that? [laughs]
- I do. You know I do.
Today's gonna be perfect.
And I'm going to be Mrs. Phatudi.
Finally.
[Kagiso] Hey.
- Wow.
- [giggling]
[Kagiso] Mmm.
You are perfection. Look at you.
I can't believe we're actually doing this.
Don't tell me
you're having second thoughts.
- Second thoughts?
- Mm-hmm.
Really?
Not when I'm marrying
the woman of my dreams.
Okay, we have to go.
We're running out of time.
Let me just grab my bouquet
and then we can get going.
- [gasps]
- What?
[both stammering]
What? What's wrong?
- [muttering] Oh.
- [Zoleka] What is it?
Okay, um [chuckles]
don't panic just yet. Uh,
- but, um, your
- Why would I panic?
[shouts, gasps]
Oh, my G Oh, my gosh, Amahle!
- It's It's not that bad. It's
- [Kagiso] Yeah.
- I think it gives the dress character.
- Yeah.
- Right?
- [Amahle] It adds character to the dress.
- [Kagiso] Exactly.
- [Zoleka sobbing]
- Oh, no, no! Don't cry.
- Baby, no. Don't cry.
- No, no! Your makeup!
- It's fine.
- No crying. All right?
- Baby, it's fine.
No, it's not! What if this is a bad omen?
- It's not. We'll fix it.
- It is!
- You're beautiful.
- We'll fix it! Don't ruin your makeup.
- Perfect. Perfect.
- [sobbing continues]
- Perfect.
- It's not bad. It's not bad!
- It's not bad at all.
- It's a designer dress!
[sobbing]
No, no, no. No crying, please.
- It's okay.
- No tears, please.
- Breathe.
- [Amahle] Just breathe.
[knocking]
- [Omphile] Mom.
- [knocking continues]
- [knocking continues]
- Mom!
- [shouts] Mom!
- Okay.
And then, what now?
Speak.
What? But I don't even know the
- Just speak, man.
- [scoffs]
- All you told me was to
- Omphile! Speak, man.
Okay. Mom, Dad wants to know why you
I want to know why did you decided
to speak to other people,
and of all people, Doreen?
You know that woman
is going to tell the world
that she helped us out.
That she gave us money.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- What?
Gosh. I can't believe this family.
No ways.
I can't believe your sister.
The sun hasn't even set
and she's already told you all of this?
No. Don't worry.
Kagiso has got that under control.
You need to give that woman her money.
We shouldn't take money from Kagiso, Papi.
He's always bailing us out.
He's a child. He still needs our support.
Not for us to push him down, please!
That's what being a child is about.
He should be taking care of us, you know.
The same way we did when he was a baby.
[Khutso] Let Doreen finally do her part.
[Omphile] Dad!
So
if I do that, will you come back home?
[Khutso stammers]
Wait, Papi.
Let me just think about this thing.
- Mom, Dad!
- Omphile! Omphile!
Grown ups are speaking
and you are interrupting!
- What is it?
- Zoleka and Kagiso are getting married.
[both] What?
- Give it here. Give it here.
- Yep. Here you go.
Ah!
[Liswa] Brother!
[grumbling] I almost fell.
What is she doing now?
- Brother!
- [Langa] Don't Don't fall.
- Don't hurt me.
- What is it?
- [Liswa] It's about to go down.
- What is it?
- It's Zoleka.
- What about her?
- Zoleka's getting married.
- Getting married?
The suit, man!
What suit?
- So you knew about this?
- [scoffs]
Imagine. My nine months.
Now he's getting married without me.
Imagine. Nonsense.
This is madness.
Over my dead body.
How could she get married? How?
How could she get married
without me there?
Text her. I'm gonna text her.
I'm on my way.
- Let me text her. Send.
- Hey, Langa. Wait, brother!
- Sent. Okay, I'm coming.
- Langa!
- Wait for me! You'll ride with me!
- [Liswa] Hey, Langa!
[Zoleka] I wanted to get married today,
I mean, is that too hard to ask for?
- How am I gonna get this off?
- It looks like it's part of the design.
- I promise you. It's not!
- What if it's a bad omen, huh?
- Could you just let me help you?
- What have I done
to deserve something like this?
It's my wedding dress.
All right, listen. All right?
We're going to do
some deep breathing exercises, all right?
Take a deep breath in
[inhaling]
- and out.
- [exhales]
- It's not working.
- It's not?
- It's not working.
- Okay. Um
- My dress is wet.
- You know what?
Forget about the dress.
Just forget about the dress.
Think about Kagiso
and how far you guys have come, all right?
Close your eyes and anchor yourself.
Go to your happy place.
Happy thoughts.
[Zoleka] Amahle.
It's Valentine's Day
and I'm stuck in this shitty apartment.
Please come over.
[Amahle] Zole, come on.
It's been over six months since Simphiwe.
You need to move on.
Book a casting and put the wine down.
- [knocking]
- Okay? This pity party needs to end.
Um,
over an hour late.
Amahle, my wi
My dessert delivery is here. Got to go.
[sighs]
[sighs]
Hi.
Hi, um, ma'am,
I'm so sorry that this is late.
My driver was in an accident.
Um
Thank you.
Wow, you have a beautiful place.
Thank you.
Uh, you can just, uh, leave it down there.
- Thank you.
- Oh, sorry, uh
You love to love ♪
We love it too ♪
Cupid struck your heart ♪
When you chose our booze ♪
So, happy Valentine's to you ♪
Even if you are
completely alone on Valentine's.
That was both insulting
and the worst singing I've ever heard.
- Excuse me?
- Mmm.
Everyone else liked it.
Who's everyone else?
Margaret from next door.
I live here.
I'm pretty sure there's no Margaret.
Well, at least I made you smile, right?
- [Zoleka stammering]
- Oh. I've got it.
[Zoleka] Mm-hmm.
Thank you.
Um
Uh
You, uh, hosting a Valentine's party or
Yes.
- I got it. Yeah.
- Okay.
[gasps] Oh. It's heavy.
- Yeah.
- Um
Uh, of course I'm expecting
many, many people.
- Right.
- I can't drink all of that by myself.
[Kagiso] Yeah.
Thank you.
Sorry these things
These things never work.
[chuckles]
You do know
the general delivery rule, right?
If it's late, it's free.
Uh, I just started this business.
But, you know what? You
Yeah, you're right. It's on me.
- Happy Valentine's, ma'am.
- Wait.
Uh, there's actually
an ATM just downstairs, around the corner.
But only because
I support young black businesses.
[chuckles]
- [knocking]
- [Jessica] Ladies,
we don't operate on African time here.
It's 3:00.
- And I have guests arriving in 30 minutes.
- [knocking]
- Shit, shit, shit! Oh, God!
- Oh, my God.
- I can't see my backside. [clamors]
- I don't know what to do.
- [clamoring continues]
- [Amahle] Okay, okay. Oh, come on, man.
- Hurry up. We need to get this thing off.
- Oh, my word.
- [Zoleka muttering] Huh?
- Okay. Listen, listen.
We're gonna have to swap dresses.
What? Never.
I sacrificed my dream wedding.
- I'm not gonna sacrifice my wedding dress.
- Ma'am
- Not gonna happen.
- you are not a virgin anymore, okay?
- You don't need this.
- Excuse me?
[knocking]
[Jessica] Okay, I'm canceling the plans.
- Girl, you better take that off.
- What are you doing? Get your hands
You're taking it off!
- Please don't do this to me.
- Take it off! Come on!
- [line ringing]
- You know, I can understand why
you weren't invited to that wedding.
Imagine me not being invited. Whoa!
How could she do that to me? Whoa.
- [sucks teeth]
- [phone beeps]
You know what, Zo is gonna hate us for
this. I mean, look who's driving us there.
- It's a disaster.
- [Liswa] Mmm.
[Khutso]
Did you call your sister and tell her?
Mm-hmm, and she was shook.
Hmm?
She's on her way, Mom.
Oh.
And I'm sure she's gonna get there
before we do.
[laughs] My child.
Let me show you.
[engine revving]
Go faster.
Go faster, Simphiwe. Go faster.
[car engines rev]
[panting] I
I object to this union.
So, they invited you?
Your son has poisoned my daughter.
- You're talking rubbish. My child hasn't
- What?
- My child will never do that.
- [stammers] Hey.
- What?
- Oh.
[Martin] Damn.
[Papi] Damn.
- Lovely.
- Oh, sorry.
- Uh, beautiful white wedding.
- Yes.
[stammers] Sorry. Congratulations.
Run, run, run!
We're almost there.
- [Amo, in Sotho] Run.
- What's the time?
Let's go, come.
Whoa.
- Okay.
- Oh!
- Omphile.
- Zoleka Dzana.
- Let's go home. Now. Let's go.
- Huh?
No, I'm not going anywhere. What the hell?
Zozo, how could you do this to us?
- Excuse me?
- Hey, who's this, now?
The fuck are you doing here?
- [Khutso] Hey, Kagiso!
- Listen here.
Her father told me everything.
You're a non-starter.
You're nothing but a failure.
- Your mother's a failure. Piss off!
- [Khutso] No, Kagiso!
That's enough, that's enough.
Please leave.
- Right now.
- It's true.
Leave.
You are not good enough for her.
Even her dad knows that.
Deep down you know it too.
And I won't let you use her
as your gravy train.
- [Zoleka exclaims]
- Oh, my god!
[all screaming, clamoring]
[glass shatters]
- Kagiso, beat him up!
- I'm gonna kick your ass, man.
Don't hold me back.
- Come here.
- Help me with this.
[clamoring continues]
- [Kagiso grunts]
- [Zoleka] Kagiso!
- Kagiso!
- [clamoring continues]
- [Jessica] Excuse me!
- [clamoring stops]
What is going on?
Jessica, we thought that the other wedding
was at 4:00 p.m. It's
It's hardly a quarter to 4:00, friend.
- White people.
- Stop it.
- [Simphiwe] I'll beat you up, asshole.
- I'm ready for you, asshole.
- Let's go, little man.
- No, Don't you dare put your hands on him.
- [Martin] Hey, you!
- Let's go, let's go, let's go!
- I'll kick your ass, man.
- Get him out of here.
- You, I'll beat you up, man.
- Are you okay?
- Get out of here.
- I'll beat your ass!
[Katlego] Oh, you poor thing.
Why are you behaving like the Hulk
at my wedding?
You thought you'd get married
without telling me?
Excuse me,
who the hell do you think you are?
[Zoleka] Hold on, Dad.
Tell me, who invited you guys?
[Liswa] What do you mean?
How could you do this without telling us?
Why would you do that?
[Papi] Because Zoleka is a mess.
Just remember. First, she made you
lose 33 million, Kagiso.
I just looked now.
Now she wants to divide the family.
- Never.
- She's a bad influence.
- Yeah.
- That's why we call her an influencer.
No, that's not what "an influencer" means.
I keep wondering,
what's the story with her ex-boyfriend?
And why would her father bring him?
Because the one you should be marrying
is him.
[scoffs]
A respectable man,
from a respectable family
with a reputable job. Not some app boy.
A respectable man? Who? Him?
When is he so respectable?
When he's sleeping around, or what?
With three children,
with three different women
all while we were engaged.
[Martin] Simphiwe?
- Three?
- Mmm.
Illegitimate children?
[Simphiwe grunts]
How could you do such a thing, Simphiwe?
I thought you loved my child.
I don't like that girl.
I don't like her at all.
- Yeah, we all know you don't like her.
- She's rude. Yes, I don't.
That's why you and Sicelo leave your
condoms around for Zoleka to find, right?
- [all gasp]
- [Khutso] Wow.
Come closer. Why didn't you tell me
that you and Sicelo are back together?
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Because, Dad, Simphiwe is the cheater
that you've always wanted as a child. Hmm?
Because I'm the failure, right?
- I think I can smell oil somewhere.
- [Liswa] Mm-hmm.
Mmm, it must be oil.
I'm going to check on the car.
[Liswa scoffs]
Because Simphiwe finished
his law degree, and I didn't,
and I became the actor,
am I an embarrassment to you?
All I ever wanted was to make you happy.
How am I supposed to believe that
when you pull stunts like this?
- Wanting to marry Kagiso isn't a stunt!
- Then what is it?
But anyway, you've made it very clear
that you don't want any part of this.
And, for the first time,
I actually listened.
So I don't want you here.
Zoleka, this is your big day.
We're your family.
We're supposed to be here,
my child, please.
I'll walk myself down the damn aisle.
Zoleka.
- MaZo.
- [Langa] It's okay.
[Martin] Zozo!
[stammers]
- She's back together with Sicelo.
- Uh-uh, Mom.
No, they're just having sex.
No, we're not.
- Yeah.
- What's wrong with you?
[clears throat] Incoming.
[Zoleka] Can we talk?
Alone?
- [Amo] Dude.
- [Katlego] Kagiso.
[Amo] Mm-hmm.
- After they hit you, Kagiso?
- You'll get hurt again.
Wow.
You know what?
This drama is too much for me.
More than all the episodes
of Sinful Seduction combined.
- I didn't invite Simphiwe here.
- Yeah, but your father did.
Which is why I wanted to do this
without him.
I asked him to leave.
[Kagiso] Zoleka, you love your father.
You love him.
What chance does our marriage have
if our families don't support us?
We were going to do this
without them anyway.
Nothing's changed.
Yeah, well, my family is not gonna just
stand by and let me marry you.
Then stand up to them.
Like I did for you.
What did I tell you? Mmm?
This girl, in there.
She's too much.
- [shushing]
- [Khutso] She'll hear you.
[Papi] No, but she's too much.
- [gasps] He's coming, move up.
- [shushing]
- Where is it?
- [Amo] What were you saying?
- [Amo] Where is it? Where
- [Katlego] It fell.
- [Amo] I can't see
- Are you taking a walk? What's going on?
- Yeah, we are.
- Did you lose something?
Yeah.
All right, listen here.
Whether you like it or not,
I'm marrying Zoleka.
You can stay or you can leave.
The choice is yours.
[sighs]
- Okay. Hey.
- [door closes]
You are gonna love me.
Okay.
Guess who convinced Jessica
to give you the garden for your wedding?
[smacks lips] This girl. [chuckles]
- Really, friend?
- Yeah.
And in other news,
I got myself a date
for Valentine's Day. Yay.
Aw, you pimped yourself out for me?
- Pretty much.
- Mm-hmm.
I guess I really am a whore.
[both chuckle]
Okay. The drama.
- [Amahle] At least it helped.
- Mmm.
- [phone buzzes]
- [sighs, clicks tongue]
It's probably Langa again.
He's been texting me, you know?
[Amahle] What is it?
What?
This eloping thing
is not part of our culture.
[Khutso] We decided to support them.
Right? So shush.
Before they kick us out.
Hey, what are you doing here?
Uh-uh. It's not like we can miss
Kagiso's wedding. We saw the news on X.
Hey, Makgotso. Put that phone away.
Unless you wanna get kicked out as well.
[Khutso] Put that thing away.
Where is Zoleka?
- I have a new story for her.
- [Khutso sighs]
- Yes, look. Hey, look.
- [sighs] Always with the stories.
[Godfrey] A supernatural being
hides as a young woman. You see?
And uses her powers to
avenge her sister's death.
This one, we'll call
The Ones Who Are Brave.
- [all groan]
- Godfrey, relax.
Uh, no. Not again.
- But I chose the title just for her.
- Oh, man.
- You're being silly again.
- Geez.
- [Amo] Let's all rise. Stand up.
- [guests whispering]
[Amo] So, we shall stand up. Okay.
- [Khutso] Huh?
- [groans]
Um
Why did you walk in
looking like you're the bride?
She's not coming.
Why? What happened? Is she okay?
Well, she says
she doesn't want to marry you anymore.
[in Tswana] Buddy.