I am a Killer (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
Miguel Angel Martinez
[Dickens.]
The "What if?" that's a that's a question every day.
What if I didn't go in there? What if I didn't kill him? What if I never fired a shot? [gunshot.]
You beat yourself up with these questions.
That's pretty much all your life is in here, is self-reflection and, uh thinking about the things that go on, the things that didn't go on, and the things that you wish could go on.
My name is Justin Wiley Dickens.
I was convicted of capital murder and a robbery/homicide.
And I received the death penalty.
[man 1.]
And I walked up, I fired one shot.
And as I got closer, I fired one more shot.
[man 2.]
She was shot through the cheek and it stopped in her jaw.
[man 3.]
I drove him around behind a desk and I stabbed him approximately 25 times.
[man 4.]
I couldn't believe it.
I just thought I can't believe I just killed somebody.
[man 5.]
I don't feel bad about it.
[laughs.]
[man 6.]
I started stabbing him, stabbing the guy on the couch.
[Dickens.]
I was born in Amarillo, Texas, July 1976.
I was born two months premature because my mom was using cocaine.
I mean, it was an off-and-on struggle, but my parents kind of held it together until I was 13.
Then they completely split up for good.
And then, uh you know, it was just rocky.
I'd run the streets with my mom, you know.
She was She was just a homeless drug addict who, you know, would just commit petty thefts at stores, and we'd do drugs together and go to jail together and bond out and just keep repeating and repeating and repeating.
Dallas Moore was a local tattoo artist and he was a real charming character, fast-talker, slick, got everybody under his wing and as close to him as he could.
Being lost as a kid and looking for a father figure, I was just drawn to him and I was just kind of brainwashed by him.
Martha was Dallas Moore's fiancée.
If they didn't have such a severe drug habit, they would've been really cool friends.
I met Dallas and Martha when I was about 15 years old.
After me and my friend stole a bunch of weed, I went to Dallas Moore's house to see if he wanted to buy it.
They was having a big cocaine party.
Everybody shooting the cocaine.
I told him I didn't want to try any because my mom was a drug addict, and I seen what needles do to people.
But he said it was just a mental thing, it wasn't a physical thing, so he eventually got me to snort some cocaine.
And about a day or two after that, of, you know, around the clock hanging out and drinking, he finally broke me down to try shooting the cocaine.
And once I shot the cocaine, we never snorted it again.
I was just kind of lost.
When I was 17, we was partying for about a week straight.
And Dallas passed out.
He was asleep in the bed and Martha went into his pocket and took an ounce of cocaine.
And she alone used a bunch of it.
And before the sun came up, she was in a panic.
And asked me and my fall partner, Craig Pennell, to drive her around to try to sell some to get the money to pay Dallas before he woke up.
When you're a drug addict, alls you can think about is drugs.
The repercussions of whatever it is are out of sight.
You don't think about that.
We couldn't sell any of it.
And all three of us ended up doing the rest of the cocaine.
[bell ringing.]
And on the last stop we made before we dropped Martha off, we heard Dallas Moore was after us with a pistol.
When Dallas caught up with me, it was about 2:00 in the morning.
I was asleep on Craig's couch.
I woke up with a knife to my throat.
A local drug addict named Eddie Ramos was with him.
And they were talking about how they were gonna kill me.
Craig came in and then Dallas started beating us up and slapping us around with the pistol.
And then he told us to follow him back over to his house.
So, we went out there and, uh he pretty much blamed it all on me.
He told me that I was to take Martha to the Amarillo Blvd.
and pimp her out while she turns tricks to raise the money.
But when I agreed to it he busted my nose and almost knocked me out.
Saying, "Oh, you would allow Martha to go pimp herself?" And he told me I was gonna get his money.
And he pointed to a ski mask that he had hanging on the wall.
And when gets in a jam, he handles his business with the ski mask, and he said, "I expect you to do the same thing, too.
I don't care what you do.
You're just gonna get me my money.
" Me and Craig took off in Craig's truck.
The only place I knew where to get a gun was my great-grandfather's house, way out in the country.
So, we drive back into town, and I'm like, "Pull over here, pull over here," you know, just trying to find something that we could do.
And he's like, "No, I know a place over by my grandparents' house.
" So we drive across Amarillo.
We get to the Mockingbird Pawn and Jewelry store.
Looking back on it now, there's no predicting that was gonna happen, but the day felt wrong.
The day felt wrong.
[gun clicks.]
The reason why I went through with it: because my fear of Dallas overrode my fear of the repercussions of what the law would do.
I walked up to the door, and the door had a buzzer lock on it.
[buzzing.]
So, they seen me in there and they buzzed me in.
I said I was getting married and I'd like to try on a ring.
And, uh, they turned their back on me.
When they turned their back on me I pulled the gun out and cocked it.
And I said, "Get down on the ground.
I ain't shitting you, I'll kill you.
" Mr.
Jacobs laid where I couldn't see him.
And Mr.
Carter laid between the two counters with his head facing me just, like, five feet away.
I froze up.
I mean, I was totally out of my element.
I should've just said, "Put your hands up and give me some money and let me out," but hindsight's 20/20.
Then out of nowhere, Mr.
Carter came up with a shoulder tackle and picked me up off my feet.
It was just a lightning-strike tackle.
He never said nothing the whole time.
- He slammed me into the wall.
- [thudding.]
And I just shrugged up and fired a shot - [gunshot.]
- that hit him in the torso.
Then I slid down the wall with my pistol raised straight in the air like that.
He grabbed the barrel of the gun while he was leaning over me and he jerked the gun straight up, and the bullet fired through his hand and hit him in the forehead.
[gunshot.]
And I was like, "Oh, no.
" Mr.
Jacobs, he ran out the side door.
And I tried to get out out the front door.
So I shot the last two shots into the lock and I missed it.
I started ramming it with my head, kicking it but I couldn't get out.
So I ran out the back door.
And I looked to the left, and Craig was driving away without me.
He looked right at me, and we made eye contact, and he just kept on going.
I thought, "Nah," you know, "Story of my life.
" So I took off running.
I just thought I can't believe I just killed somebody.
That thought was just on a loop over and over and over on my mind.
There wasn't no "Am I gonna get away with this?" Nothing.
I just I was stunned.
[camera shutter clicking.]
[tape recorder clicks.]
[Campos.]
For the record, Justin, would you identify yourself? I'm Sergeant Campos.
This is Sergeant Montano.
What's your name, full name? [Dickens.]
Justin Wiley Dickens.
[Campos.]
Okay.
[Dickens.]
They said, "Sir, we know what happened.
Your fall partner, Craig Pennell, is over here.
He's done told us everything.
" I just hung my head and started crying.
I said, "I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to kill nobody.
I didn't mean to kill nobody," and I left it at that.
[Campos.]
Could you start from the beginning, if it was planned? - Will you tell us? - [Dickens.]
It wasn't planned.
I didn't know there was a death penalty, but I knew I was in deep trouble.
[train bell ringing.]
[birds chirping.]
[Farren.]
The robbery and murder at the Mockingbird Street Jewelry occurred March 12th, 1994.
It was the first major case I tried after becoming district attorney.
Justin Wiley Dickens was a volatile individual.
I think he suffered from sort of a Napoleonic complex.
He realized he wasn't a large fellow, and he compensated for that by strutting and trying to demonstrate that he was a big, bad, dangerous guy.
As far as his rationalization, justification for committing the robbery, being that he's afraid of Dallas Moore, I think is true of most falsehoods, most lies you mix in some truth with the lie, and it makes it more believable.
I think it was more of a humiliation than any serious beating he took.
I think he was beside himself when he was humiliated in front of other people who knew him because, again, his driving desire was to convince everybody that "I may not be very big, physically, but I'm a dangerous guy.
You don't want to mess with me.
" I believe, and I think the evidence demonstrated, that's exactly what happened in the Mockingbird Street Jewelry robbery.
Francis Allen Carter tried to approach him and convince him to abandon this robbery attempt.
"Put down the gun.
Don't do this.
You're gonna ruin your life.
Let me talk to you.
Let's talk about this.
You don't want to do this.
" Dickens responded, as he always did, violently, and shot and killed Francis Allen Carter.
- [gunshot.]
- [thuds.]
Part of Dickens' defense was that Francis Allen Carter provoked his use of the weapon.
And that's one of the questions the jury has to answer whether or not the victim provoked the acts of the defendant.
If the answer to that is "yes," then, by law, the death penalty's not a possibility.
There's no way that kind of struggle was occurring while he was being shot.
It would be impossible for what he describes to have occurred and not have blood all over him.
The forensic evidence is consistent with him being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
I don't think Jacobs saw a struggle.
I think he just made the assumption that that was going to happen.
Once he came up off the floor, there was only one thing on his mind, and that was fleeing out the door.
I think that's what caused Dickens to panic and start pulling the trigger, not a bull rush from Francis Allen Carter.
Justin Wiley Dickens deserved the sentence he received from the jury.
He deserved the death penalty because of the kind of person he was and because of what he did, but also because of the victim that he chose to take from all us.
Francis Allen Carter, he was absolutely one of the most exemplary human beings I have ever heard about, and Dickens robbed all of us of that.
I'm Barbalee Blair.
I taught with Allen from 1978 until his death in 1994.
And I'm Kim Leal, and I was in Mr.
Carter's junior English class.
And I've since moved on to teach English in the very same classroom that I took junior English with Mr.
Carter.
[Blair.]
Allen was a complex, dynamic, interesting, conflicting, confusing man who loved kids.
[Leal.]
He looks so young.
- He was.
- He was.
Well, technically, he was 50, but he sure didn't act 50.
[Blair.]
The kids he helped the most were the kids who would be those who slipped between the cracks.
There were no cracks for Allen.
The ones who might not make it were going to make it because of Allen Carter.
[Leal.]
He recognized the underdog, always.
[Blair.]
He simply would not let a child fail.
[birds chirping.]
[Blair.]
That night when we first heard it, nobody had a clue that there had been a robbery or that he had been shot.
We just knew he had died.
But the next day at school, details began to come out.
And that's when I remember us all, all the teachers in the teachers' lounge, talking about how would Allen have reacted.
What would Allen have done in an armed robbery? What would you do? What would I do? None of us could see Allen confronting somebody with a gun physically.
Strong, dynamic, all those things are true, but I can't imagine Allen rushing a gunman.
Just not his character.
It's not his nature.
It's not the way he would behave.
But I can imagine him talking with every bit of force and vigor and push that he could to try to get this kid, whoever he was, to see what he was doing.
That this is not acceptable, this is not okay.
And Allen would have expected that the child would comply, understand, see that, but, of course, that's not the way it happened.
My name is Rus Bailey.
I was the lead attorney for the trial of Justin Wiley Dickens.
Justin, to me, seemed to be a fairly decent young man.
I'm not gonna say he was wonderful based upon what had happened at this point, but, you know, I liked him.
- [waitress.]
How are you? - [Bailey.]
Fine, thank you.
- Good.
- Thank you very much.
[Bailey.]
Any time you have a capital murder trial, chances are, in all likelihood, they're gonna ask for the death penalty.
That's the only reason to file for a capital murder charge.
The first thing we did was plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter, which is a lesser included offense as part of the charges against Justin.
Now, the issue here is whether or not Justin really intended to kill Mr.
Carter because he felt like it or even because he wanted to.
I mean, Mr.
Farren read the same reports I did.
And realistically, the only way this could have taken place is this way.
When Justin pulled the gun, there was a counter between Justin and the two individuals that were in that store at that point in time.
He did tell both parties to get down.
And with that point, he realized he was making a very foolish mistake.
And I think as a result of him turning his back on Mr.
Carter, Mr.
Carter came across that counter.
And in the course of events was shot when they were fighting for that gun.
There was an eye-witness Mr.
Jacobs.
But he wouldn't sign his statement unless he got approval from Mr.
Farren.
I'm not too sure why he needed Mr.
Farren's approval, because I knew if I knew if I gave a statement to somebody, I would live with that statement because it's true.
[Farren on recording.]
The forensic evidence is consistent with him being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
[Bailey.]
I just can't fathom that they actually accepted that.
I would have assumed that the police department would have at least what they call string or strung the room to determine where the bullets went and where they came from.
This would have proven or shown, possibly, about the fight between Justin Dickens and Mr.
Carter.
But they never strung it.
They didn't think it was relevant.
It could have made a big difference for us.
Then again, the police department doesn't work for the defense, they work for the State of Texas.
[chuckles.]
Justin, to me, seemed to be a very young man that was just scared to death.
What we were able to ascertain is that Dallas Moore had threatened him to get him some money back for something that he, Justin, and Mr.
Moore's wife had supposedly done.
If Dallas Moore had taken the stand, then it may have come out that there were a lot more things going on than the State was willing to acknowledge to that jury.
And if we could have got his wife there separately from Dallas, his wife could have testified as to what actually happened between him and Justin.
But it was amazing.
All of a sudden, Mr.
Moore and a lot of other witnesses we wanted were gone.
Now, I don't know what happened, how it got there to that point, but our investigator could not find him anywhere.
And I'm not saying the state did anything wrong.
It's just the fact Dallas was covering his own.
Back side, so to speak.
[chuckles.]
So, yeah, I can understand him taking off based on that.
But he sure would have helped us.
[birds chirping.]
[Chante.]
I met Justin two years before the incident in seventh grade.
We were in a summer school class together at Sam Houston Summer School.
Just gonna feed him.
Bates! You want to eat, babe? No leftovers in this house.
Justin, he was a little wild country boy talking about hog hunting and, you know, bow and arrows.
He was pretty wild for a kid.
Okay, guys, come on.
Share and be nice.
My father knew his mother from drugs.
Be nice.
So I ended up running into Justin at my dad's house.
At that moment, I think I realized that my friends were doing a little more than smoking a little weed and having a couple of shots here and there at a party.
My father, he's really charismatic.
I mean, people are drawn to him.
I would say that he's comparable to a much more friendly Charles Manson.
He, um He just can draw the people in.
He has a way of making people do what he wants them to do.
He was in and out of prison my whole life.
Each time he got out of prison, instead of getting better, he got worse.
It just seemed like the further it went, it was like a downward spiral, you know, more and more charges until it led to this point, you know, 25 years later.
The last eight months, he's been a fugitive for actually tying up an 83-year-old woman and hurting her in her home.
A home invasion.
[sniffles.]
Uh something that you wouldn't think that your father would do, but [Moore.]
Well, my Dad wanted Fort Worth.
My mom wouldn't let him name me Fort Worth, so I ended up with Dallas.
My name came up, like, 58 times in this trial, so everybody's wanting to talk to me.
I'm like the star of the show.
I don't lie.
Most people will tell you I don't lie.
I shoot straight from the hip.
[Moore.]
My daughter introduced me to Justin.
Did she tell you that? Man, that little shit.
He caused so much trauma in my life.
My wife liked him.
They stole over fucking an ounce from me.
Did he tell you that? I was asleep.
Took it all from me.
I put my gun to the kid's head and I said, "We're going to Martha's and you guys are gonna apologize for letting her leave my house, you know, and robbing me.
You're supposed to have been my friends.
[Dickens on recording.]
He pretty much blamed it all on me.
He pointed to a ski mask that he had hanging on the wall.
And he said, "I don't care what you do.
You're just gonna get me my money.
" Whoo, that's a I put that on the Bible, I swear to God.
Man, that is a fictitious lie.
That's a fictitious lie.
I never said boom, boom, boom, you're gonna go and do this and do that, go get my money, and sent him on a robbery.
That is BS.
I did not want no involvement in his bullshit and had no idea that he would fucking goddamn do that.
I let him off.
He didn't really rob me, my wife robbed me.
So I said, "I want you to take my wife to the motel and watch her.
Make sure no trick stays with her more than 15 minutes.
Let her earn my fucking money.
She's the one who took my shit.
Will you do that for me?" He goes, "Yeah, I'll pimp that bitch.
" When he said that, I hit him.
Look at his mugshots.
When he got to, I wouldn't let him get up.
I kick-stomped his ass straight out of my house and I told him, "Don't you ever come back to my house.
You can't pay me, you can't buy nothing, you can't do nothing, you can't apologize.
I don't want your piece-of-shit ass in my house ever again.
" That's what I told him.
I'm not gonna be a made out as some Charles Manson.
You know what I mean? I don't wanna be no involvement of that man getting murdered because I didn't have no involvement in it.
He didn't owe me nothing.
His debt was paid in full when I punched him out.
I think he should get a break, but not a break at my expense to sit there and say, "I told him and ordered him to go do that," dude.
I would tell you if I had said that, but, no, no.
If he went to rob then, he went to rob that to try to fucking impress my wife.
[crickets chirping.]
Well, my name is Martha Cummins-Bell now.
I got clean from all drugs in '97.
I'm a mom.
I have seven kids.
- Four sandwiches and two salads.
- Okay, thank you.
[Cummins-Bell.]
I work at an agency that specializes in treating people with borderline personality disorder.
Almost always suicidal or self-harming.
So, I can relate to that.
I cut ties with Dallas a long time ago.
So I'm not afraid of him anymore.
[Cummins-Bell.]
He's just nervous.
[Cummins-Bell chuckles.]
[Chante.]
Oh, God! [laughs.]
[Cummins-Bell.]
I remember when I met Justin.
I lived in an apartment with Dallas.
- This is cute.
- That one [Chante.]
There's Justin.
[Cummins-Bell.]
First of all, I thought he was about 12.
[Chante.]
There he is right there, Martha.
[Cummins-Bell.]
And he was, like, a little street kid.
The little short one is Justin.
There was a real innocence about Justin.
[Chante.]
Oh, there's Dallas.
[Cummins-Bell.]
Dallas was ten years older than me and I met him after he had done, I think close to ten years in a Missouri state penitentiary.
I think we were all kind of sucked into that excitement and, um the drug use.
And Dallas was older than all of us and had already been to prison and was just so cool.
- [Chante.]
Ben with a gun in Dad's mouth.
- [Cummins-Bell.]
Kenny! - [Cummins-Bell.]
Remember him? - [kid.]
Is that real? [Chante.]
Yes, that's a real gun! - [kid.]
Does it have bullets in it? - [Chante.]
I'm sure it doesn't.
There were reasons to be afraid of Dallas.
Dallas passed out, and Martha went into his pocket and took an ounce of cocaine.
I think I had some resentments about him having the cocaine in his pocket.
And, um I wanted it in my pocket.
So, one night, I gave him a lot of Valium and put him to sleep and took the cocaine out of his pocket.
Craig and Justin and I started doing the cocaine, and we got to a point in the bag where there was no return.
And I knew I knew that we were all fucked, basically.
I know that Dallas expected to be reimbursed.
And that we were all pretty terrified.
I don't know why it all became Justin's responsibility.
There was a ski mask nailed onto the wall in our in our trailer, and Dallas pointed at the ski mask and said, "That's how I handle my debts.
" I think that Justin did what he thought he had to do.
And I don't think that he meant to ever hurt anybody.
I think he just meant to pay Dallas back.
And I know a man lost his life.
Right? I mean, that's the other side of this, is that somebody died.
[breathes heavily.]
But [exhales.]
Um, it also took Justin's life.
Justin pulled the trigger.
Craig drove the car.
I stole the dope.
And if I had been a guy and I hadn't have been married to Dallas, I probably would have been in the car, too.
I just don't know how someone can get put on death row for something like this.
[Farren.]
Dickens' defense was that Francis Allen Carter provoked his use of the weapon.
And if the answer to that is yes, then, by law, the death penalty is not a possibility.
[Bailey.]
There was an eye-witness, Mr.
Jacobs, but he wouldn't sign his statement unless he got approval from Mr.
Farren.
[Jacobs.]
Allen, of course, was a teacher.
And as a side venture he would buy and sell jewelry.
Yeah, he was a good personal friend.
Allen and I were visiting together and a customer came to the front door.
It was electronically protected as far as in and out is concerned.
So we buzzed him and let him visit around.
When we were off doing our business, um he just pulled a gun on us and said, "Okay, this is a robbery.
Get down on the floor.
" And so, that's what we did.
We laid down on the floor and, um and he said, "Spread out," for whatever reason.
At some point, and I still don't know why, Allen decided it was time for him to take action.
And he came up off the floor across the jewelry counter and engaged the kid and was trying to take the gun from him when it went off.
[gunshot.]
That was the first shot.
Then the second one was when he was pushing trying to push the gun away, I think, and it came up through the webbing in his finger and hit him in the head as well.
[gunshot.]
The one that caught Allen the second time was the one that I'm sure killed him.
And that's when I went out the back door.
[Farren.]
I don't think Jacobs saw a struggle.
I think he just made the assumption that that was going to happen.
The forensic evidence is consistent with Dickens being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
Farren, he's good at his job.
No problem about that part of it at all, but I don't understand him trying to put words into the circumstances that I was seeing.
When I told him that Allen was trying to get the gun when the shots went off, so how can you do that from afar off if you aren't close enough to grab the gun? [chattering.]
[birds chirping.]
[Carter-Boyd.]
Grief never goes away.
It changes.
You feel sadness, you feel anger, confusion, frustration.
You feel all alone in the world, but it never goes away.
Your heart aches for that person all the time.
My name is Christi Carter, and I am the daughter the very proud daughter of Allen Carter.
[train bell ringing.]
Daddy always came to Amarillo on Saturdays to do his jewelry business.
This particular Saturday, I just had a bad feeling, and I didn't want him to come to Amarillo.
And at 4:30 that afternoon, he called me.
I can still hear his voice.
It was, you know, "I love you, baby girl.
I'll call you when I get home.
" And that was it.
I was watching the five o'clock news when they had breaking news that there had been a shooting at Mockingbird Pawn and Jewelry.
And I knew immediately.
I knew immediately that something had happened to Daddy.
So I just went to the hospital, and he was still alive.
And he had just passed away when Mama got to Amarillo.
But I had to tell her.
The only reason that Daddy would go for the gun is because he felt that no amount of talking could persuade Dickens to not do this or put down the gun.
But that was also Daddy.
Daddy got the Soldier's Medal in Vietnam for saving three other soldiers' life.
That's right under the Navy Cross.
That's what Daddy did.
He tried to find a solution.
He didn't know any different, he didn't do any different.
And so, to me, if he went for the gun, that's exactly what he was doing.
You know, it was a young man struggling and he was going to help him.
If I went to see Dickens, I think that he really wouldn't care that I was there.
But I just need him to see that life did go on for us.
And, yes, it's been hard, and, yes, it's been painful.
To be 20 years old and lose your father and to see Mama alone missing him and me missing him but he didn't take it all away.
And I need him to know that I have forgiven him for what he did.
That doesn't mean I like him.
That doesn't mean I wanna be his pen pal.
But for me to go on, I had to forgive him.
But I don't think he would care.
The one thing that will always stick out in my mind about Dickens is the very last question of the trial.
And James asked him, "Now that you have met Mr.
Carter's wife and daughter and mother and brothers and sisters, how do you feel about what you did?" And Dickens looked at us and then looked at James Farren, and said, "You know, Mr.
Farren, I'm really, really sorry this happened to me.
" [Dickens.]
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I said that.
I'm sorry.
I was I was a jackass.
I mean what I said was probably devastatingly cruel, but I can't even make an excuse for that.
[Moore on recording.]
He caused so much trauma in my life.
Man, that little shit.
I never said boom, boom, boom, you're gonna go do this and do that, go get my money, and sent him on robbery.
I wasn't gonna be made out as some Charles Manson.
You know what I mean? I don't wanna be no involvement of that man getting murdered because I didn't have no involvement in it.
I really met the wrong person in a very pivotal point in my juvenile days, and, uh [stutters.]
It created disaster and tragedy.
I was Dallas' little protégé.
I idolized him.
I didn't think he was dangerous like that.
I thought he was a big kid until the mask kinda came off and, you know, it was directed at me.
[Cummins-Bell on recording.]
I stole the dope.
I don't know why it all became Justin's responsibility.
Dallas pointed at the ski mask and said, "That's how I handle my debts.
" And if I had been a guy and I hadn't been married to Dallas, I probably would have been in the car, too.
It's a small blessing.
All I've ever asked for is just to let it be heard, you know.
I bear my own cross and I live with what I done, and you know, it ain't it don't never change, it don't never get no easier.
That's all I ever wanted was somebody to speak truthfully about it, you know.
[Jacobs.]
He said, "Okay this a robbery.
Get down on the floor.
" At some point, and I still don't know why, Allen decided it was time for him to take action.
Allen was trying to get the gun when the shots went off.
And it came up through the webbing in his finger and hit him in the head.
Um, I got chill bumps.
I mean I never thought anybody would admit to anything like that.
That I just didn't go in there in cold blood and just for wanton reasons.
I mean, I was I was scared.
I was I was in water that I never swam before, and I didn't know I didn't know what I was doing.
And I was in a situation.
And, uh I don't really know what to say to that because that's the last thing I really expected to hear through this right here.
Uh I need him to know that I have forgiven him for what he did.
That doesn't mean I like him.
That doesn't mean I want to be his pen pal.
But for me to go on, I had to forgive him.
[producer.]
Hearing that, do you have any message for Christi Carter? Thank you.
I mean, thank you.
I know I'm not worth nothing, but thank you.
Really, thank you.
[sighs.]
The "What if?" that's a that's a question every day.
What if I didn't go in there? What if I didn't kill him? What if I never fired a shot? [gunshot.]
You beat yourself up with these questions.
That's pretty much all your life is in here, is self-reflection and, uh thinking about the things that go on, the things that didn't go on, and the things that you wish could go on.
My name is Justin Wiley Dickens.
I was convicted of capital murder and a robbery/homicide.
And I received the death penalty.
[man 1.]
And I walked up, I fired one shot.
And as I got closer, I fired one more shot.
[man 2.]
She was shot through the cheek and it stopped in her jaw.
[man 3.]
I drove him around behind a desk and I stabbed him approximately 25 times.
[man 4.]
I couldn't believe it.
I just thought I can't believe I just killed somebody.
[man 5.]
I don't feel bad about it.
[laughs.]
[man 6.]
I started stabbing him, stabbing the guy on the couch.
[Dickens.]
I was born in Amarillo, Texas, July 1976.
I was born two months premature because my mom was using cocaine.
I mean, it was an off-and-on struggle, but my parents kind of held it together until I was 13.
Then they completely split up for good.
And then, uh you know, it was just rocky.
I'd run the streets with my mom, you know.
She was She was just a homeless drug addict who, you know, would just commit petty thefts at stores, and we'd do drugs together and go to jail together and bond out and just keep repeating and repeating and repeating.
Dallas Moore was a local tattoo artist and he was a real charming character, fast-talker, slick, got everybody under his wing and as close to him as he could.
Being lost as a kid and looking for a father figure, I was just drawn to him and I was just kind of brainwashed by him.
Martha was Dallas Moore's fiancée.
If they didn't have such a severe drug habit, they would've been really cool friends.
I met Dallas and Martha when I was about 15 years old.
After me and my friend stole a bunch of weed, I went to Dallas Moore's house to see if he wanted to buy it.
They was having a big cocaine party.
Everybody shooting the cocaine.
I told him I didn't want to try any because my mom was a drug addict, and I seen what needles do to people.
But he said it was just a mental thing, it wasn't a physical thing, so he eventually got me to snort some cocaine.
And about a day or two after that, of, you know, around the clock hanging out and drinking, he finally broke me down to try shooting the cocaine.
And once I shot the cocaine, we never snorted it again.
I was just kind of lost.
When I was 17, we was partying for about a week straight.
And Dallas passed out.
He was asleep in the bed and Martha went into his pocket and took an ounce of cocaine.
And she alone used a bunch of it.
And before the sun came up, she was in a panic.
And asked me and my fall partner, Craig Pennell, to drive her around to try to sell some to get the money to pay Dallas before he woke up.
When you're a drug addict, alls you can think about is drugs.
The repercussions of whatever it is are out of sight.
You don't think about that.
We couldn't sell any of it.
And all three of us ended up doing the rest of the cocaine.
[bell ringing.]
And on the last stop we made before we dropped Martha off, we heard Dallas Moore was after us with a pistol.
When Dallas caught up with me, it was about 2:00 in the morning.
I was asleep on Craig's couch.
I woke up with a knife to my throat.
A local drug addict named Eddie Ramos was with him.
And they were talking about how they were gonna kill me.
Craig came in and then Dallas started beating us up and slapping us around with the pistol.
And then he told us to follow him back over to his house.
So, we went out there and, uh he pretty much blamed it all on me.
He told me that I was to take Martha to the Amarillo Blvd.
and pimp her out while she turns tricks to raise the money.
But when I agreed to it he busted my nose and almost knocked me out.
Saying, "Oh, you would allow Martha to go pimp herself?" And he told me I was gonna get his money.
And he pointed to a ski mask that he had hanging on the wall.
And when gets in a jam, he handles his business with the ski mask, and he said, "I expect you to do the same thing, too.
I don't care what you do.
You're just gonna get me my money.
" Me and Craig took off in Craig's truck.
The only place I knew where to get a gun was my great-grandfather's house, way out in the country.
So, we drive back into town, and I'm like, "Pull over here, pull over here," you know, just trying to find something that we could do.
And he's like, "No, I know a place over by my grandparents' house.
" So we drive across Amarillo.
We get to the Mockingbird Pawn and Jewelry store.
Looking back on it now, there's no predicting that was gonna happen, but the day felt wrong.
The day felt wrong.
[gun clicks.]
The reason why I went through with it: because my fear of Dallas overrode my fear of the repercussions of what the law would do.
I walked up to the door, and the door had a buzzer lock on it.
[buzzing.]
So, they seen me in there and they buzzed me in.
I said I was getting married and I'd like to try on a ring.
And, uh, they turned their back on me.
When they turned their back on me I pulled the gun out and cocked it.
And I said, "Get down on the ground.
I ain't shitting you, I'll kill you.
" Mr.
Jacobs laid where I couldn't see him.
And Mr.
Carter laid between the two counters with his head facing me just, like, five feet away.
I froze up.
I mean, I was totally out of my element.
I should've just said, "Put your hands up and give me some money and let me out," but hindsight's 20/20.
Then out of nowhere, Mr.
Carter came up with a shoulder tackle and picked me up off my feet.
It was just a lightning-strike tackle.
He never said nothing the whole time.
- He slammed me into the wall.
- [thudding.]
And I just shrugged up and fired a shot - [gunshot.]
- that hit him in the torso.
Then I slid down the wall with my pistol raised straight in the air like that.
He grabbed the barrel of the gun while he was leaning over me and he jerked the gun straight up, and the bullet fired through his hand and hit him in the forehead.
[gunshot.]
And I was like, "Oh, no.
" Mr.
Jacobs, he ran out the side door.
And I tried to get out out the front door.
So I shot the last two shots into the lock and I missed it.
I started ramming it with my head, kicking it but I couldn't get out.
So I ran out the back door.
And I looked to the left, and Craig was driving away without me.
He looked right at me, and we made eye contact, and he just kept on going.
I thought, "Nah," you know, "Story of my life.
" So I took off running.
I just thought I can't believe I just killed somebody.
That thought was just on a loop over and over and over on my mind.
There wasn't no "Am I gonna get away with this?" Nothing.
I just I was stunned.
[camera shutter clicking.]
[tape recorder clicks.]
[Campos.]
For the record, Justin, would you identify yourself? I'm Sergeant Campos.
This is Sergeant Montano.
What's your name, full name? [Dickens.]
Justin Wiley Dickens.
[Campos.]
Okay.
[Dickens.]
They said, "Sir, we know what happened.
Your fall partner, Craig Pennell, is over here.
He's done told us everything.
" I just hung my head and started crying.
I said, "I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to kill nobody.
I didn't mean to kill nobody," and I left it at that.
[Campos.]
Could you start from the beginning, if it was planned? - Will you tell us? - [Dickens.]
It wasn't planned.
I didn't know there was a death penalty, but I knew I was in deep trouble.
[train bell ringing.]
[birds chirping.]
[Farren.]
The robbery and murder at the Mockingbird Street Jewelry occurred March 12th, 1994.
It was the first major case I tried after becoming district attorney.
Justin Wiley Dickens was a volatile individual.
I think he suffered from sort of a Napoleonic complex.
He realized he wasn't a large fellow, and he compensated for that by strutting and trying to demonstrate that he was a big, bad, dangerous guy.
As far as his rationalization, justification for committing the robbery, being that he's afraid of Dallas Moore, I think is true of most falsehoods, most lies you mix in some truth with the lie, and it makes it more believable.
I think it was more of a humiliation than any serious beating he took.
I think he was beside himself when he was humiliated in front of other people who knew him because, again, his driving desire was to convince everybody that "I may not be very big, physically, but I'm a dangerous guy.
You don't want to mess with me.
" I believe, and I think the evidence demonstrated, that's exactly what happened in the Mockingbird Street Jewelry robbery.
Francis Allen Carter tried to approach him and convince him to abandon this robbery attempt.
"Put down the gun.
Don't do this.
You're gonna ruin your life.
Let me talk to you.
Let's talk about this.
You don't want to do this.
" Dickens responded, as he always did, violently, and shot and killed Francis Allen Carter.
- [gunshot.]
- [thuds.]
Part of Dickens' defense was that Francis Allen Carter provoked his use of the weapon.
And that's one of the questions the jury has to answer whether or not the victim provoked the acts of the defendant.
If the answer to that is "yes," then, by law, the death penalty's not a possibility.
There's no way that kind of struggle was occurring while he was being shot.
It would be impossible for what he describes to have occurred and not have blood all over him.
The forensic evidence is consistent with him being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
I don't think Jacobs saw a struggle.
I think he just made the assumption that that was going to happen.
Once he came up off the floor, there was only one thing on his mind, and that was fleeing out the door.
I think that's what caused Dickens to panic and start pulling the trigger, not a bull rush from Francis Allen Carter.
Justin Wiley Dickens deserved the sentence he received from the jury.
He deserved the death penalty because of the kind of person he was and because of what he did, but also because of the victim that he chose to take from all us.
Francis Allen Carter, he was absolutely one of the most exemplary human beings I have ever heard about, and Dickens robbed all of us of that.
I'm Barbalee Blair.
I taught with Allen from 1978 until his death in 1994.
And I'm Kim Leal, and I was in Mr.
Carter's junior English class.
And I've since moved on to teach English in the very same classroom that I took junior English with Mr.
Carter.
[Blair.]
Allen was a complex, dynamic, interesting, conflicting, confusing man who loved kids.
[Leal.]
He looks so young.
- He was.
- He was.
Well, technically, he was 50, but he sure didn't act 50.
[Blair.]
The kids he helped the most were the kids who would be those who slipped between the cracks.
There were no cracks for Allen.
The ones who might not make it were going to make it because of Allen Carter.
[Leal.]
He recognized the underdog, always.
[Blair.]
He simply would not let a child fail.
[birds chirping.]
[Blair.]
That night when we first heard it, nobody had a clue that there had been a robbery or that he had been shot.
We just knew he had died.
But the next day at school, details began to come out.
And that's when I remember us all, all the teachers in the teachers' lounge, talking about how would Allen have reacted.
What would Allen have done in an armed robbery? What would you do? What would I do? None of us could see Allen confronting somebody with a gun physically.
Strong, dynamic, all those things are true, but I can't imagine Allen rushing a gunman.
Just not his character.
It's not his nature.
It's not the way he would behave.
But I can imagine him talking with every bit of force and vigor and push that he could to try to get this kid, whoever he was, to see what he was doing.
That this is not acceptable, this is not okay.
And Allen would have expected that the child would comply, understand, see that, but, of course, that's not the way it happened.
My name is Rus Bailey.
I was the lead attorney for the trial of Justin Wiley Dickens.
Justin, to me, seemed to be a fairly decent young man.
I'm not gonna say he was wonderful based upon what had happened at this point, but, you know, I liked him.
- [waitress.]
How are you? - [Bailey.]
Fine, thank you.
- Good.
- Thank you very much.
[Bailey.]
Any time you have a capital murder trial, chances are, in all likelihood, they're gonna ask for the death penalty.
That's the only reason to file for a capital murder charge.
The first thing we did was plead guilty to involuntary manslaughter, which is a lesser included offense as part of the charges against Justin.
Now, the issue here is whether or not Justin really intended to kill Mr.
Carter because he felt like it or even because he wanted to.
I mean, Mr.
Farren read the same reports I did.
And realistically, the only way this could have taken place is this way.
When Justin pulled the gun, there was a counter between Justin and the two individuals that were in that store at that point in time.
He did tell both parties to get down.
And with that point, he realized he was making a very foolish mistake.
And I think as a result of him turning his back on Mr.
Carter, Mr.
Carter came across that counter.
And in the course of events was shot when they were fighting for that gun.
There was an eye-witness Mr.
Jacobs.
But he wouldn't sign his statement unless he got approval from Mr.
Farren.
I'm not too sure why he needed Mr.
Farren's approval, because I knew if I knew if I gave a statement to somebody, I would live with that statement because it's true.
[Farren on recording.]
The forensic evidence is consistent with him being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
[Bailey.]
I just can't fathom that they actually accepted that.
I would have assumed that the police department would have at least what they call string or strung the room to determine where the bullets went and where they came from.
This would have proven or shown, possibly, about the fight between Justin Dickens and Mr.
Carter.
But they never strung it.
They didn't think it was relevant.
It could have made a big difference for us.
Then again, the police department doesn't work for the defense, they work for the State of Texas.
[chuckles.]
Justin, to me, seemed to be a very young man that was just scared to death.
What we were able to ascertain is that Dallas Moore had threatened him to get him some money back for something that he, Justin, and Mr.
Moore's wife had supposedly done.
If Dallas Moore had taken the stand, then it may have come out that there were a lot more things going on than the State was willing to acknowledge to that jury.
And if we could have got his wife there separately from Dallas, his wife could have testified as to what actually happened between him and Justin.
But it was amazing.
All of a sudden, Mr.
Moore and a lot of other witnesses we wanted were gone.
Now, I don't know what happened, how it got there to that point, but our investigator could not find him anywhere.
And I'm not saying the state did anything wrong.
It's just the fact Dallas was covering his own.
Back side, so to speak.
[chuckles.]
So, yeah, I can understand him taking off based on that.
But he sure would have helped us.
[birds chirping.]
[Chante.]
I met Justin two years before the incident in seventh grade.
We were in a summer school class together at Sam Houston Summer School.
Just gonna feed him.
Bates! You want to eat, babe? No leftovers in this house.
Justin, he was a little wild country boy talking about hog hunting and, you know, bow and arrows.
He was pretty wild for a kid.
Okay, guys, come on.
Share and be nice.
My father knew his mother from drugs.
Be nice.
So I ended up running into Justin at my dad's house.
At that moment, I think I realized that my friends were doing a little more than smoking a little weed and having a couple of shots here and there at a party.
My father, he's really charismatic.
I mean, people are drawn to him.
I would say that he's comparable to a much more friendly Charles Manson.
He, um He just can draw the people in.
He has a way of making people do what he wants them to do.
He was in and out of prison my whole life.
Each time he got out of prison, instead of getting better, he got worse.
It just seemed like the further it went, it was like a downward spiral, you know, more and more charges until it led to this point, you know, 25 years later.
The last eight months, he's been a fugitive for actually tying up an 83-year-old woman and hurting her in her home.
A home invasion.
[sniffles.]
Uh something that you wouldn't think that your father would do, but [Moore.]
Well, my Dad wanted Fort Worth.
My mom wouldn't let him name me Fort Worth, so I ended up with Dallas.
My name came up, like, 58 times in this trial, so everybody's wanting to talk to me.
I'm like the star of the show.
I don't lie.
Most people will tell you I don't lie.
I shoot straight from the hip.
[Moore.]
My daughter introduced me to Justin.
Did she tell you that? Man, that little shit.
He caused so much trauma in my life.
My wife liked him.
They stole over fucking an ounce from me.
Did he tell you that? I was asleep.
Took it all from me.
I put my gun to the kid's head and I said, "We're going to Martha's and you guys are gonna apologize for letting her leave my house, you know, and robbing me.
You're supposed to have been my friends.
[Dickens on recording.]
He pretty much blamed it all on me.
He pointed to a ski mask that he had hanging on the wall.
And he said, "I don't care what you do.
You're just gonna get me my money.
" Whoo, that's a I put that on the Bible, I swear to God.
Man, that is a fictitious lie.
That's a fictitious lie.
I never said boom, boom, boom, you're gonna go and do this and do that, go get my money, and sent him on a robbery.
That is BS.
I did not want no involvement in his bullshit and had no idea that he would fucking goddamn do that.
I let him off.
He didn't really rob me, my wife robbed me.
So I said, "I want you to take my wife to the motel and watch her.
Make sure no trick stays with her more than 15 minutes.
Let her earn my fucking money.
She's the one who took my shit.
Will you do that for me?" He goes, "Yeah, I'll pimp that bitch.
" When he said that, I hit him.
Look at his mugshots.
When he got to, I wouldn't let him get up.
I kick-stomped his ass straight out of my house and I told him, "Don't you ever come back to my house.
You can't pay me, you can't buy nothing, you can't do nothing, you can't apologize.
I don't want your piece-of-shit ass in my house ever again.
" That's what I told him.
I'm not gonna be a made out as some Charles Manson.
You know what I mean? I don't wanna be no involvement of that man getting murdered because I didn't have no involvement in it.
He didn't owe me nothing.
His debt was paid in full when I punched him out.
I think he should get a break, but not a break at my expense to sit there and say, "I told him and ordered him to go do that," dude.
I would tell you if I had said that, but, no, no.
If he went to rob then, he went to rob that to try to fucking impress my wife.
[crickets chirping.]
Well, my name is Martha Cummins-Bell now.
I got clean from all drugs in '97.
I'm a mom.
I have seven kids.
- Four sandwiches and two salads.
- Okay, thank you.
[Cummins-Bell.]
I work at an agency that specializes in treating people with borderline personality disorder.
Almost always suicidal or self-harming.
So, I can relate to that.
I cut ties with Dallas a long time ago.
So I'm not afraid of him anymore.
[Cummins-Bell.]
He's just nervous.
[Cummins-Bell chuckles.]
[Chante.]
Oh, God! [laughs.]
[Cummins-Bell.]
I remember when I met Justin.
I lived in an apartment with Dallas.
- This is cute.
- That one [Chante.]
There's Justin.
[Cummins-Bell.]
First of all, I thought he was about 12.
[Chante.]
There he is right there, Martha.
[Cummins-Bell.]
And he was, like, a little street kid.
The little short one is Justin.
There was a real innocence about Justin.
[Chante.]
Oh, there's Dallas.
[Cummins-Bell.]
Dallas was ten years older than me and I met him after he had done, I think close to ten years in a Missouri state penitentiary.
I think we were all kind of sucked into that excitement and, um the drug use.
And Dallas was older than all of us and had already been to prison and was just so cool.
- [Chante.]
Ben with a gun in Dad's mouth.
- [Cummins-Bell.]
Kenny! - [Cummins-Bell.]
Remember him? - [kid.]
Is that real? [Chante.]
Yes, that's a real gun! - [kid.]
Does it have bullets in it? - [Chante.]
I'm sure it doesn't.
There were reasons to be afraid of Dallas.
Dallas passed out, and Martha went into his pocket and took an ounce of cocaine.
I think I had some resentments about him having the cocaine in his pocket.
And, um I wanted it in my pocket.
So, one night, I gave him a lot of Valium and put him to sleep and took the cocaine out of his pocket.
Craig and Justin and I started doing the cocaine, and we got to a point in the bag where there was no return.
And I knew I knew that we were all fucked, basically.
I know that Dallas expected to be reimbursed.
And that we were all pretty terrified.
I don't know why it all became Justin's responsibility.
There was a ski mask nailed onto the wall in our in our trailer, and Dallas pointed at the ski mask and said, "That's how I handle my debts.
" I think that Justin did what he thought he had to do.
And I don't think that he meant to ever hurt anybody.
I think he just meant to pay Dallas back.
And I know a man lost his life.
Right? I mean, that's the other side of this, is that somebody died.
[breathes heavily.]
But [exhales.]
Um, it also took Justin's life.
Justin pulled the trigger.
Craig drove the car.
I stole the dope.
And if I had been a guy and I hadn't have been married to Dallas, I probably would have been in the car, too.
I just don't know how someone can get put on death row for something like this.
[Farren.]
Dickens' defense was that Francis Allen Carter provoked his use of the weapon.
And if the answer to that is yes, then, by law, the death penalty is not a possibility.
[Bailey.]
There was an eye-witness, Mr.
Jacobs, but he wouldn't sign his statement unless he got approval from Mr.
Farren.
[Jacobs.]
Allen, of course, was a teacher.
And as a side venture he would buy and sell jewelry.
Yeah, he was a good personal friend.
Allen and I were visiting together and a customer came to the front door.
It was electronically protected as far as in and out is concerned.
So we buzzed him and let him visit around.
When we were off doing our business, um he just pulled a gun on us and said, "Okay, this is a robbery.
Get down on the floor.
" And so, that's what we did.
We laid down on the floor and, um and he said, "Spread out," for whatever reason.
At some point, and I still don't know why, Allen decided it was time for him to take action.
And he came up off the floor across the jewelry counter and engaged the kid and was trying to take the gun from him when it went off.
[gunshot.]
That was the first shot.
Then the second one was when he was pushing trying to push the gun away, I think, and it came up through the webbing in his finger and hit him in the head as well.
[gunshot.]
The one that caught Allen the second time was the one that I'm sure killed him.
And that's when I went out the back door.
[Farren.]
I don't think Jacobs saw a struggle.
I think he just made the assumption that that was going to happen.
The forensic evidence is consistent with Dickens being a sufficient distance away from Francis Allen Carter while those rounds are being fired.
Farren, he's good at his job.
No problem about that part of it at all, but I don't understand him trying to put words into the circumstances that I was seeing.
When I told him that Allen was trying to get the gun when the shots went off, so how can you do that from afar off if you aren't close enough to grab the gun? [chattering.]
[birds chirping.]
[Carter-Boyd.]
Grief never goes away.
It changes.
You feel sadness, you feel anger, confusion, frustration.
You feel all alone in the world, but it never goes away.
Your heart aches for that person all the time.
My name is Christi Carter, and I am the daughter the very proud daughter of Allen Carter.
[train bell ringing.]
Daddy always came to Amarillo on Saturdays to do his jewelry business.
This particular Saturday, I just had a bad feeling, and I didn't want him to come to Amarillo.
And at 4:30 that afternoon, he called me.
I can still hear his voice.
It was, you know, "I love you, baby girl.
I'll call you when I get home.
" And that was it.
I was watching the five o'clock news when they had breaking news that there had been a shooting at Mockingbird Pawn and Jewelry.
And I knew immediately.
I knew immediately that something had happened to Daddy.
So I just went to the hospital, and he was still alive.
And he had just passed away when Mama got to Amarillo.
But I had to tell her.
The only reason that Daddy would go for the gun is because he felt that no amount of talking could persuade Dickens to not do this or put down the gun.
But that was also Daddy.
Daddy got the Soldier's Medal in Vietnam for saving three other soldiers' life.
That's right under the Navy Cross.
That's what Daddy did.
He tried to find a solution.
He didn't know any different, he didn't do any different.
And so, to me, if he went for the gun, that's exactly what he was doing.
You know, it was a young man struggling and he was going to help him.
If I went to see Dickens, I think that he really wouldn't care that I was there.
But I just need him to see that life did go on for us.
And, yes, it's been hard, and, yes, it's been painful.
To be 20 years old and lose your father and to see Mama alone missing him and me missing him but he didn't take it all away.
And I need him to know that I have forgiven him for what he did.
That doesn't mean I like him.
That doesn't mean I wanna be his pen pal.
But for me to go on, I had to forgive him.
But I don't think he would care.
The one thing that will always stick out in my mind about Dickens is the very last question of the trial.
And James asked him, "Now that you have met Mr.
Carter's wife and daughter and mother and brothers and sisters, how do you feel about what you did?" And Dickens looked at us and then looked at James Farren, and said, "You know, Mr.
Farren, I'm really, really sorry this happened to me.
" [Dickens.]
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry I said that.
I'm sorry.
I was I was a jackass.
I mean what I said was probably devastatingly cruel, but I can't even make an excuse for that.
[Moore on recording.]
He caused so much trauma in my life.
Man, that little shit.
I never said boom, boom, boom, you're gonna go do this and do that, go get my money, and sent him on robbery.
I wasn't gonna be made out as some Charles Manson.
You know what I mean? I don't wanna be no involvement of that man getting murdered because I didn't have no involvement in it.
I really met the wrong person in a very pivotal point in my juvenile days, and, uh [stutters.]
It created disaster and tragedy.
I was Dallas' little protégé.
I idolized him.
I didn't think he was dangerous like that.
I thought he was a big kid until the mask kinda came off and, you know, it was directed at me.
[Cummins-Bell on recording.]
I stole the dope.
I don't know why it all became Justin's responsibility.
Dallas pointed at the ski mask and said, "That's how I handle my debts.
" And if I had been a guy and I hadn't been married to Dallas, I probably would have been in the car, too.
It's a small blessing.
All I've ever asked for is just to let it be heard, you know.
I bear my own cross and I live with what I done, and you know, it ain't it don't never change, it don't never get no easier.
That's all I ever wanted was somebody to speak truthfully about it, you know.
[Jacobs.]
He said, "Okay this a robbery.
Get down on the floor.
" At some point, and I still don't know why, Allen decided it was time for him to take action.
Allen was trying to get the gun when the shots went off.
And it came up through the webbing in his finger and hit him in the head.
Um, I got chill bumps.
I mean I never thought anybody would admit to anything like that.
That I just didn't go in there in cold blood and just for wanton reasons.
I mean, I was I was scared.
I was I was in water that I never swam before, and I didn't know I didn't know what I was doing.
And I was in a situation.
And, uh I don't really know what to say to that because that's the last thing I really expected to hear through this right here.
Uh I need him to know that I have forgiven him for what he did.
That doesn't mean I like him.
That doesn't mean I want to be his pen pal.
But for me to go on, I had to forgive him.
[producer.]
Hearing that, do you have any message for Christi Carter? Thank you.
I mean, thank you.
I know I'm not worth nothing, but thank you.
Really, thank you.
[sighs.]