iCarly s01e03 Episode Script

What? -You're having breakfast in class? -Uh-huh.
You can't just have breakfast in the middle of Is that turkey bacon? -Carly.
-Freddie.
-Sam.
-I'm eating.
All right, class.
Take your seats.
Why do I smell bacon? -It's turkey bacon.
-Put it away! -Sorry! -Okay.
There, it's put away.
Into my backpack? Now, today we have a very special treat.
-Spelling bee? -Quiet, Gibby.
Since you young people today know nothing about fine arts, prepare to be stimulated by a true performer.
-Ryan Seacrest? -Gibby! Now, some of you may know my ancestors hail from Scotland, the home of plaid.
And so, please welcome Scottish highland dancer Benjamin Yip.
Ms Briggs? What does Scottish highland dancing have to do with boo Stop that! Not you! How dare you children boo a dancing Scotsman? -Who started the boos? -Gibby.
No, I didn't.
It was Sam.
I will not be a victim.
-Sam, you have detention.
-I'm used to it.
Mr Yip, you may dance again.
Children! In five, four, three, two I know, you see Somehow the world will change for me.
And be so wonderful.
Live life, breathe air I know somehow we're gonna get there.
And feel so wonderful It's all for real I'm telling you just how I feel So wake up the members of my nation It's your time to be There's no chance unless you take one And the time to see The brighter side of every situation Some things are meant to be.
So give your best and leave the rest to me Leave it all to me.
Leave it all to me.
Just leave it all to me iCarly S01E03 iDream of Dance Thanks for letting me hang at your place this afternoon.
No way I can be around my mom right now.
You guys fighting? No, she's wearing some gross new perfume.
Couldn't you smell it? I just thought your cat peed in the car again.
-I wish.
-Hey.
Hey, you missed a smelly ride home with Sam's mom.
Yeah, well I had to go buy a new backpack 'cause someone dumped her breakfast in mine.
You're lucky I didn't dump it down your pants.
Anybody want some iced tea? -Me.
-Tea me.
Grab three glasses.
So, what was up with that whole Scottish dancing thing? Yeah, who wants to see that? At least you two don't have to sit in detention with her.
-Here you go.
-Now, you see that? Carly puts a nice slice of lemon on my glass.
How does she think of that? -'Cause Carly's classy.
-And I'm not classy? Classy people don't clean out their ears with their cell phone antenna.
-That was your cell phone antenna.
-What? Ugh! No wonder I keep dropping calls.
Anyway, what right does an English teacher have to force kids to watch dancing? I wouldn't mind watching good dancing.
You know, that could be a fun thing for iCarly.
We have people send in videos of themselves doing their coolest dance.
-I'm down.
-I dig.
Let's do it.
Where'd my straw go? Here.
And in five, four, three, two -I'm Carly.
-I'm Sam.
Bon soir.
Hola.
Shalom.
It's foreign for good evening.
-In what language? -Foreignese.
I don't believe you, but since I have no proof Okay, now, before we get started We have a special request for you Our iCarly viewers.
We wanna see videos of you guys doing your coolest dance moves.
Or your uncoolest dance moves.
Any dance moves will be acceptable.
Like the jitterbug.
-The tango.
-The mambo.
-The chimichanga.
-The woozy jacuzzi.
-The butternut trot.
-Any dance you like.
Just put it on video, then upload it right here at iCarly.
Com.
And if your dance is extremely awesome -Or extremely lame -We might show it here -For the whole world to see.
-And if we do -You could get paid -Or not.
-Yeah, probably not.
-You won't.
Nope.
-Hi.
- Why? My stupid lock is broken.
I've dialled my combination like 10 times and it won't open.
Hey! So I was just checking iCarly.
com during study hall.
-Did we get any dance clips in? -Try over 3,000.
-No way.
-Yeah.
How are we gonna watch 3,000 dance clips before our next show? We gotta watch like 500 every night.
Oh, my God.
What are you doing to my locker? -This is my locker.
-No, that's your locker.
Oh, yeah.
Thanks, Gibby.
Let's go, guys.
I give her a seven.
-Six.
-Seven.
Weird you'd agree with Carly.
Weird you'd say that.
How many more dance clips do we have to watch tonight? So far we've watched 472.
So we have 28 more to go.
Hey.
What you guys about? We're trying to find cool dancers to show on iCarly.
Ooh.
Are relatives eligible? -Sure.
-Who cares? -I guess.
-Yes! See, when I was in tenth grade, I invented the coolest dance ever.
I named it the firecracker.
You guys have heard of it, right? -No.
-Never.
Why'd you call it the firecracker? 'Cause I move my legs in a fiery explosion of flailing limbs and floppy passion.
Wanna see it? -Yeah.
-Sure.
Okay.
I gotta go find my helmet and my shin guards.
Okay, dance clip number 473.
My name's Darby and this is a dance called the prancing nightingale.
-Zero.
-Zero.
-Bye, Darby.
-Next.
Where did I put my helmet? Nope.
-Two.
-One.
-Bye, Courtney.
-Next.
Here's that biscuit with cheese I lost.
Next.
-Whoa.
-Hello.
Hey, Carly, Sam, love your web show.
Here's my dance.
I don't like him.
Are you insane? He's totally hot.
-Oh, my God.
-That boy's got moves.
Come on, he's a total nub.
If he's a nub, then someday I wanna be Mrs Carly Nub.
Where is my helmet? Just give me your rating.
-How high can we go? -Ten.
-Four billion.
-Four billion and three.
I'm gonna go get a juice pouch.
-Move.
Come on.
Move.
-Move.
Move.
Move.
Five hundred dance videos.
-I know.
I am so tired.
-My brain is fried.
And do you know what's nutty? I don't even remember waking up this morning.
-Yeah.
-I don't either.
Weird.
Okay, does someone wanna explain what's going on? -This is insane.
-What's wrong with everybody? Hey.
Hey, you guys We should We should probably go to Sleep.
All right, students, take your seats Detention is about to begin.
I said take your seats.
All right, since you're all in detention, that means that each of you is rotten in your own special way.
-Yeah.
-That's cool.
Now, for the next two hours, I'm going to play these bagpipes.
Why not just shove scissors in our ears? And just so you'll be sure to hear them Were those amps there a few seconds ago? Hello, Ridgeway! I am Briggs! Man, this is torture.
Hey.
When did she change clothes? When did you guys change clothes? When did I change clothes? Can Okay, you people are out of your minds.
Okay, why am I dancing? This shouldn't be happening.
I am not enjoying this.
When did I learn these moves? Someone tell me what's going on.
How am I doing this? Hey, I'm not flexible.
What? Hey! Quit it, feet.
Why am I pointing? What's with the bagpipes? Who choreographed this? Someone help me.
Okay, why are we marching? What's Okay.
No, not a cartwheel.
No, the splits! What are you doing? Let go.
Hey, let go of me.
Am I too late for the test? Get out of here, Gibby.
This is my nightmare.
Come on.
He's a total nub.
If he's a nub, then someday I wanna be Mrs Carly Nub.
That boy's got moves.
He's a total nub Total nub Total nub Hey, baby.
You know, you shouldn't have called your web show iCarly.
You should have called it "You-purdy.
" Come on, now, don't be like that.
Hey, why don't you give Zeke a little kiss right here? -Just leave me alone.
-Hey, Zeke don't take no for an answer.
She said leave her alone.
Yeah? And what are you gonna do about it? I'm gonna dance.
What? What? Check it out! Back up! Back up! What? What? Sam? Sam? Sam? Freddie? Where'd you go? Where's the furniture? Okay, there was a huge couch right there.
And where'd this dress come from? I need some juice.
Hey.
Wait, you're not juice.
Juice boy's got a friend.
I'll be back in a few minutes.
And three more.
Okay, how many well dressed cute boys are in my apartment? Okay, why don't you guys just make yourselves at home, and I'll just go to some other place, where hopefully things make sense Okay, I don't know what's going on here, but I think I like it.
Carly! Carly! Hey! I found it! Carly! I found it! Wake up! -What? -What? I found my dance helmet.
Okay, you guys ready to see me dance the firecracker? -No.
-No chance.
But it's an explosion of floppy passion.
We've seen all the dancing we wanna see in one night.
Yeah.
I gotta get home before my mom has a panic attack.
-I can spend the night here, right? -Sure.
-Later.
-See you.
-Night.
-Cute helmet.
You look like a lady bug.
Looks like I found you for nothing.
Oh, well.
I don't know what's going on here, but I think I like it.
Pow! What? No.
Weird.