Industry (2020) s01e03 Episode Script

1
This phone thing's got him spooked.
And Felim accounts for
over half the desk profit.
Look, I'm hoping we're
not ruining a friendship
over miscommunication.
FELIM BICHAN: Do you even
remember what you said?
- This stays between us, okay?
- Mm-hmm.
("INDUSTRY" THEME PLAYS)
Why are women so much
more interesting to men
than men are to women?
What she say? Let me see!
It's none of your business.
SARA DHADWAL: Your team's being
subsumed into the other sector teams.
- GUS SACKEY: Where?
- CPS Desk.
(WHISTLES)
MAXIM ALONSO: I can't believe I didn't
know you were at Pierpoint.
We're in the same part of the business.
See, the problem with
this, they keep hiring
these fuckin' princesses.
Hey, buddy. Don't talk to her like that.
If you ever need a place to
stay, I have a spare room.
Really? I would love that.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES)
(EXHALES)
- (RATTLING)
- (GRUNTS SOFTLY)
- (SIGHS)
- YASMIN KARA-HANANI: Harper? You awake?
Maybe you should ask Greg for a coffee?
Maybe Greg should ask me for a coffee.
(YASMIN CHUCKLES)
- Can we talk money again?
- (YASMIN SIGHS)
Honestly, Harper, it would
make me feel uncomfortable
to charge you to live
in my parents' house.
Yeah, okay, but like, do you
rent this part off of them?
- Well, um
- (DOOR CLATTERING)
Oh, fucking hell.
Choon! Such a choon.
("AURA" BY BICEP PLAYING ON PHONE)
We should kill the
business and just, like,
follow Bicep around Europe.
Think how purely happy we'd be.
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Oh, God. You're a fucking mess.
DIGDOG: Yas, have you got any lollipops?
No. No, I don't have
any lollipops, Digdog.
- Are you gonna go to work today?
- Nah, we just, um
- We just picked up another bag, so
- Right.
Alexa, play Digdog's ketty mix.
("S CLUB PARTY" BY S CLUB 7 PLAYS)
There ain't no party
Like an S Club party ♪
So, are all British guys
pathological drug addicts?
- DIGDOG: You get one bag
- He gets led astray.
This is gonna be a two-bag affair.
Shall we go earn some money?
- YASMIN: So, Greg
- HARPER STERN: So, rent?
Honestly, if it means that much to you,
just buy something nice for the kitchen.
I don't think I even know what
belongs in a kitchen like that.
It's just a kitchen.
Yeah, but it's, like a kitchen.
(SYNTH MUSIC PLAYING)
I still keep getting that
feeling whenever I wake up,
like, I don't know, like I
can't believe that I'm here.
You okay?
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
MAN: I'm getting to an age where
my hangovers are no longer
charming, I'm thinking
What's going on? Why're
there so many people here?
Felim stopped trading with us.
According to Eric, he
"stepped away from the market
for personal reasons."
I wanna bang the drum this morning.
Rishi and the traders will
be in shortly with their axes.
Double sales credits to anyone
who fills them this month.
Our worldview today
is what we own and what our traders own.
Is there any more color
on Felim's departure?
Well, he he's been having
trouble with trading lines
and some protracted legal issues.
Is it temporary or permanent?
I (SCOFFS) We we'll have to see.
DARIA GREENOCK: It's just
that 60 percent of the P and L
feels like a pretty big iceberg to me.
Well (CHUCKLES) The
lights are still on, Daria.
SARA DHADWAL: Let's make
sure we keep it that way.
- ERIC TAO: Good morning.
- Eric.
(BREATHES DEEPLY)
We need to be sharper at
packaging trading strategies
across asset classes.
High-margin, multi-asset plays, please.
If our guys don't have conviction,
it's because we're not being convincing.
Simple as that.
RISHI RAMDANI: Morning, kids.
Eric.
Sara. So.
We've got some mid-market
offers on some corporate bonds.
I would love them to
be moved this morning.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
I know this might sound crazy,
but I think that we could play
another slowdown in housing.
And why should I listen to a grad?
The housing market's a
canary in a coal mine.
You don't don't say
"canary in a coal mine."
You sound like a fucking
financial journalist.
What's the play?
Um, well, obviously
gold, maybe a call option.
That's vanilla.
- Work on a pitch and we'll talk later.
- HARPER: Yeah, thank you.
- Is that it?
- Yeah, thanks.
ERIC: Rish, I'm calling
Arbitrage Andy, the permabear.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
Eric, what do you want me on?
RISHI: Ah, mate, are you
serious with this price?
Do you know the difference
between racing green
and studio green?
Buddy, you are in my personal space.
What did you study?
Literae Humaniores.
(TELEPHONES RINGING)
Classics.
(LAUGHS) How the fuck
did you end up in a bank?
- Only in England.
- (MAN CHUCKLING)
ERIC: I've told Clement
to look after you.
GREG GRAYSON: Harper. Yo.
HARPER: Greg?
I'm on the ninth stage of the journey.
The hero faces the
greatest challenge yet,
and experiences death and rebirth.
I'm paraphrasing.
It's pretty cool, right?
RISHI: I'm not fucking
filling you there.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
RISHI: Hello, Marty?
Yeah. Take the orders.
Yeah. Who?
Jack Blackburn. Ye Yeah,
he's a limp-dick analyst, but
I can't believe he's actually
reading a physical copy.
RISHI: He has a view, of course
Mate, he used to get twatted
with Michael Lewis at Salomon.
GUS SACKEY: So he was
a big deal in the '90s?
Wow.
RISHI: Yeah, if he's telling
me to sell Okay, fine.
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
- RISHI: No, I didn't say that.
I said, if his balls are
out, his balls are out.
I don't wanna see anything
else apart from his balls.
GREG: Yeah, Hawksmoor with him
and three of my best punters
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- Come on.
- No Mate.
- (TELEPHONE RINGS)
- (CHATTER CONTINUES)
I was going to send the Asia stuff
to Karl at Goliath,
um, but I wasn't sure if it was
okay coming directly from me,
or if you wanted to be CCed in, or
KENNY KILBANE: Take the initiative.
JACKIE WALSH: No, I mean
like a thick mainline vein
running down his cock
We haven't done "Yasmin's
Trading Idea" in a while, um
I've been putting together
this long dollar idea
Look, I should apologize.
That whole "Trade Idea" exercise
It was unfair of me to
put that pressure on you
when you're not ready.
Truth is, nobody's gonna
take your ideas seriously
for a few years. So
Just nail the small stuff. Yeah?
- JACKIE: This is bullshit.
- Okay.
JACKIE: The research is fundamental
- (TELEPHONE RINGS)
- JACKIE: Must be horseshit.
It was good to clear the air, though.
Yeah.
JACKIE: Once again, you've
wasted my time. Goodbye.
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
How did you two find each other?
Uh, university. Oxford.
I mean social circles.
How does an Old Etonian end up pals
- with a lad from the pit?
- (CHUCKLES)
How do you expect to
sell financial products
if you sound like a miner?
GUS: Our college was a melting pot.
- WAITER: Mr. Clement?
- No.
Where did you go?
That's me and our erstwhile premier.
Absolutely cunted.
- Gakked to the gills.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
Reminds me that I used to be beautiful.
Sixteenth of September, 1992.
Black Wednesday. When we left the ERM.
The Exchange Rate Mechanism.
An early dalliance with putting
two fingers up to Europe.
(LAUGHS) Came here, forgot everything.
And that's the way this
business has always worked.
After the crash in '29, they
wallpapered the Union Club
with stock certificates.
You haven't touched your drink, Robert.
We will be seeing Kaspar
Zenden here tomorrow afternoon.
I've built my career
writing Kaspar's business.
Now, he's bringing
along some new lackey,
Usman something.
You two will need to
find a way to occupy him.
With Felim gone, the desk can't afford
to shed any more accounts.
And, gentlemen,
this is an important evening.
Get on the right side of Usman,
and you'll be on the right side of me.
I need to pay Mrs. Wilmslow. Excuse me.
This guy Usman actually runs money.
(SCOFFS) I'll ping him an
intro. What's their mandate?
How do you not know that?
Mate, it's Clement's only client.
Are you deliberately trying
not to impress your boss?
(INDISTINCT OFFICE CHATTER)
Harper, are you a fan
of Japanese whiskey?
My uncle was one of those
older middle-aged white men
who was overly into Japan.
That's usually a euphemism
for, like, an ethno-nonce or
maybe just a real nonce. Anyway,
we had a load of it at his funeral.
- (TELEPHONE RINGS)
- DARIA: Hello?
I mean, the irony was that
he was actually abused,
he wasn't the abuser. (CHUCKLES)
- I cannot believe you left me last night.
- What are you talking about?
I presume I should
bring a bottle tonight?
Tonight?
Yasmin's dinner.
I am coming as a sort of
pastoral figure, right?
Like, um, advisor to
the youth. Youth advisor.
- DARIA: (LAUGHS) I know!
- It's the only evening I can do.
- Yeah. No, no. That's great.
- Okay, cool.
DARIA: I told him to fuck
off in perfect Russian.
- All right, bitch, I'll see you next week.
- (CHUCKLES)
Someone should tell
her they monitor those.
- Yep.
- GREG: Yeah.
Always a pleasure, Daria.
Greg.
Shut up.
(GRUNTING)
("HEAT RISES" BY NILÜFER
YANYA PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS)
What a mess I'll
Mess I'll be ♪
What a mess I'll ♪
(PANTING)
Getting high
Just from the heat ♪
It could be a while
Until we meet ♪
Simple thing
To be wasting on you ♪
Simple thing to be wasting ♪
Getting high
Just from the heat ♪
I'll be cross until we meet ♪
You all right?
I'll break gloves
Till they bring me to you ♪
(BEEPING)
(PANTING)
And what a mess I'll
Mess I'll be ♪
What a mess I'll
Mess I'll be ♪
What a mess I'll
Mess I'll be ♪
What a mess I'll ♪
And what a mess I'll ♪
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Mate, of course I'm chasing tonight.
I'll only look like this once.
And by "this," I mean gorgeous.
Nah. I'm moving sides tonight.
Your loss, buddy. Peace.
Oi, follicles
The loo's out of order. Again.
The smell.
Honestly, I cannot believe
that came out of a woman.
(SNORTS)
DARIA: I need a favor.
Seaweed.
Thanks. Shoot.
So, uh, Aubrey from Allerton
is coming in tomorrow,
and I need a pack put together.
Just boring data entry, I'm afraid.
How often they've been trading,
what volume, which asset class.
Needs to go back the last three years.
I I know it's not
the sexiest of work,
but you'd be getting me out of a hole.
And we can meet with Aubrey together.
That'd be great.
Yeah, just send over the
info, and I'll get right on it.
Great, thank you. Appreciate you.
RISHI: I am the marketing
man. All the flow is me.
So, these will be 55 pounds.
Are you joking?
(ELEVATOR DINGS)
AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.
Lift going up.
Are they for Greg?
You know,
you don't have to jump on the first guy
- who sits next to you.
- I am hardly jumping on him.
Well, do you like him?
I've never really dated a white guy.
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Floor eight.
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
So, why would you start with someone
- who's effectively your boss?
- He's not my boss.
Well, he's your superior.
(LAUGHS)
Why not just act like a normal person
and fuck a load of
strangers via technology?
The apps make me hate myself.
Every time I get a match,
it's with some guy at a wedding,
or a Chad who's "into biracial chicks."
ROBERT SPEARING: Right. I've got
loads of dating profiles. Look.
- Tory Robert.
- Wow.
See, every day,
I match with about a
million different variations
of the same girl called
Portia who works in PR.
Or
Ketty Bob.
Loves talking about how hungover he is
and pretends he voted for Corbyn.
It kind of works on, like,
flighty art types who always
have a "guy taken too young"
on their Instagram.
Mmm.
(CHUCKLES) Come on, hey.
Oh, you know, these girls, right?
They always have some gorgeous guy
who died in his early
twenties by, you know,
suicide, car crash, whatever.
And every year, they just
wheel him out for the likes.
Ketty Bob obliges.
This screams insecurity.
All right, good one. Give me your login.
(LAUGHS) No.
ROBERT: Give me five pictures
where you're not smiling.
- What's wrong with my smile?
- Well, it's too sweet.
How do you even have the time?
Has Gus muscled in already?
GUS: Sorry, I'm not sure
I can help with that.
ROBERT: Inevitably.
RISHI: Biggest ass in
the league since Joe Cole.
If you bet on Liverpool at home,
they're only, like, 1.2, 1.3,
- but, mate, it's free money.
- HARPER: Username is my email.
Password is "password" without the P.
- Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
RISHI: It's printing money.
Just size up on the bet.
Harper, what's the ETA on the pack?
Not long. Getting there.
(CHUCKLES) Is that how far you've got?
Um, I'm just working
on this pitch for Eric,
but I think it could be
commercial for the desk.
Okay, but I need to review it
before the meeting tomorrow.
Can you get it to me
before the end of the day?
If you can't, just say. I mean,
we'll we'll work it out.
Yeah, hundred percent.
Great, thank you. But
don't kill yourself, okay?
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (TELEPHONES RINGING)
(MELANCHOLY MUSIC PLAYING)
(PHONE BUZZES)
(CHUCKLES)
- (LOUDLY) You're up!
- Oh.
- ERIC: Is that your trade idea?
- Yeah. Yeah, sure. Um
Just
Um
So, I'm thinking that
we express the view
- via the Homebuilders sub-index.
- Is this all you've done?
I didn't know that you were
expecting it finished by
I expect you to have
expectations of yourself.
Yeah. Sorry. Daria needed me to prep
some decks for her
Allerton meeting tomorrow,
and it just sort of
took over. (CHUCKLING)
She wanted me to sit in
that meeting with her,
so I thought that that was
a great opportunity for
Okay, here here's how it's gonna go.
You're gonna pitch me this
again in the morning meeting.
And it's gonna be the
version I asked for.
In front of the entire team?
In front of the entire team.
Be like a priest at the pulpit.
Clarity
and conviction.
Is that, like, a punishment?
Or an opportunity. It's up to you.
Don't don't make me feel
like I'm not special, Harpsicord.
I'm starting to feel that way.
("FLAWS AND ALL" BY EBENEZER PLAYING)
(PHONE BUZZES)
I wanna say I do
But I don't ♪
I wanna say I will
But I know I won't ♪
(SONG CONTINUES ON SPEAKERS)
(THEO AND GUS LAUGHING)
Loving you ain't easy but
I still do it regardless ♪
You know that Ben James
runs club nights now?
What else do you do with
a 2:2 in Modern Languages?
(LAUGHS) Yeah, well, it
looks aggressively homosexual.
It's tomorrow. D'you fancy it?
GUS: Uh, I didn't get an invite.
Not on a school night, mate.
Um, I should go. I'll
see you tomorrow, yeah?
Even with your flaws and all ♪
See you, Rob.
Yeah, you still the one ♪
ROBERT: Why is he always so miserable
- after you've made him come?
- (SCOFFS)
ROBERT: Listen, mate,
are you sure that you
know what you're doing?
Because I can see it, and
I'm not sure that you can.
GUS: Are you only reading that now?
But you played games ♪
I'm already in a dialogue with Usman.
I'm working on a pitch with Theo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You said it yourself ♪
(SCOFFS)
You said it yourself ♪
I wanna say I do
But I don't ♪
I wanna say I will
But I know I won't ♪
Loving you ain't easy
But I still do it regardless ♪
(PHONE BUZZES)
But I still do it regardless ♪
Wanna say I can
But I can't ♪
I really wanna give us
A second chance ♪
'Cause loving you ain't easy
But I still do it regardless ♪
Even with your flaws and all ♪
SEB OLDROYD: I hope I can
keep this down after today.
YASMIN: You'd better.
So, um, we're launching sub-sites
for Brown, Princeton, and Harvard.
- HARPER: Hi! So sorry I'm late.
- Oh, wow. Hey!
- HARPER: Hi.
- SEB: Hey.
YASMIN: Finally.
And, uh, we're setting
up an office in New York.
- HARPER: I'm so sorry.
- YASMIN: It's fine.
I've told him I'm not built for
a long-distance relationship.
- (BOTH LAUGH)
- So
- GREG: Hey.
- Hey.
Don't worry, I'm only here to be fed.
(LAUGHS) No. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
GREG: So, how do you
actually make money?
I know that's a naff thing to say,
but the idea of people
actually making money
doing something they love
- fills me with pain, so
- (HARPER LAUGHS)
Just traditional
revenue streams, really.
Um, things like targeted advertising.
- GREG: Cool.
- Stuff like that.
Okay, so I have a problem
with these algorithms.
- I'll be watching Trump, right?
- (YASMIN GROANS)
And then I'm pushed towards some
red pill "menimism" where before
I know it, it's like 4:00 a.m.
and I've been watching seven hours of
what can only be described
as anti-Semitic propaganda.
Okay, well, you are clicking it,
so that is what the
internet thinks that you are.
- True, I had a great time. I loved it.
- That's how that works.
- Speaking of which, whoopee-do!
- Oh.
Oh, my God. Is this really
called "Black Nikka"?
- (LAUGHS)
- YASMIN: Wha
GREG: I never really thought about that.
It's it's two Ks, not two Gs.
- You swing and a miss, buddy.
- (PHONE BUZZES)
Now I feel like the ethno-nonce.
Yeah, you should. You should.
SEB: So, what was
holding you up, anyway?
No. No. We're not talking
about work. (LAUGHS)
GREG: So how do I actually eat
this? I don't want to offend
any more cultures than I already have.
- Bang it all in the one bowl.
- (LAUGHS) Okay.
What's that?
It's just Rob being
an asshole. (CHUCKLES)
GREG: So, Eric's sucked
you into his vortex?
No, he just, um
Uh, he wants me to pitch an
idea in the meeting tomorrow.
- Whoa!
- Cool.
HARPER: Thank you.
GREG: Wonder what
Daria thinks about that.
That's amazing.
That CPS lets your pitch at your level.
Thanks. (CHUCKLES)
Eech!
So, you know how all those
houses in London sit empty?
- (LAUGHS)
- I went as a kid, and
Am I being paranoid,
or did Harper's trade idea
sound like a veiled swipe
at my parents' financial situation?
"Non-dom tax exiles buying
up properties," I mean.
SEB: I dunno, you know.
I checked out when Greg
started talking about
- taking equity out of his flat.
- (CHUCKLES)
Why is that guy hanging out with us?
There is no way, no way, she likes him.
- She does.
- Really?
Have you asked her?
'Cause he just followed me to the toilet
and offered me acid.
- What?
- SEB: (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
YASMIN: It's a Tuesday.
(HARPER AND GREG CHATTING INDISTINCTLY)
I cannot believe Eric lets
her speak in their meetings.
Right, you invited her to live here,
so you can't start doing that.
All I'm saying is we should
probably make her feel
comfortable 'cause this is obviously
a bit of a culture shock.
All I am doing is making
her feel comfortable!
(CHUCKLES) Yes, you
are. Of course you are.
No one else could do what I
do. I'm a fucking magician.
- (CHUCKLES)
- I am.
SEB: I know you are.
GREG: The guy, uh, went
on to be a grant-giver
to a lot of, uh, British public schools.
So that doesn't surprise me
- (YASMIN MOANS SOFTLY)
- (SEB GRUNTS)
(HARPER AND GREG CONTINUE CHATTING)
(EXHALES) Fuck.
(MOANS)
Are you gonna dry dishes with that hand?
(GROANS)
Shit, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
HARPER: And this is my room.
- The small one. (CHUCKLES)
- GREG: Nice!
- Is that Yasmin? (LAUGHS)
- Oh, I have no idea.
This is gonna sound really weird
and a little bit cruel, but
I feel like I'm really only
doing this to placate Yasmin.
Yes. (CHUCKLES)
Totally.
But I thought you wanted me to come.
No, yeah. I did, I did. I just, um
Yeah.
It's messy.
Same desk.
- I'm old as fuck.
- (LAUGHS)
Yeah, the truth is that, um
I have nothing better to do.
Is that really unattractive?
Does that make me
- really unattractive?
- No, you are attractive, Greg.
(GREG CHUCKLES)
I really should be working on that
- pitch, anyway, so
- Yeah.
(QUIET ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Yeah. Uh-huh, thank her for dinner.
(TENSE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Okay. Before we go,
is there anything else?
Let's wrap it up.
I've actually worked
on a special product
that we could be making
some noise with today.
THEO: Do we have time for a grad pitch?
ERIC: Go ahead.
So, I'm pitching a hedge
on the housing market.
Uh, okay, any analogy with
the mid-noughties cycle,
subprime, it wouldn't work.
Less overbuilding,
less borrowing against
existing home values
Well, don't you think the
Homebuilder stocks are
looking a little toppy?
That's not our house view.
HARPER: The house view's consensual.
Counter-consensus is where we live.
Keep talking.
Initially, I was thinking
some puts on the S&P,
maybe linked to a call on gold.
But maybe something
more housing specific.
With the labor market going
gangbusters like it is?
It really doesn't make sense.
Let her let her finish.
So
The product I have
the traders looking at
includes a put option
on the Homebuilders index
and a call option on gold.
And a sweet kicker,
credit default swaps on
the Homebuilders, too.
It's the ultimate hedge
in a tidy suite for client convenience
at margins big enough to
pay us while they own it.
The spreads are gonna be wide
enough to drive a bus through.
That's our bread and butter.
We get paid, no matter what plays out.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
I want you putting that
in front of Allerton.
You're seeing Aubrey today, aren't you?
Um
Aubrey's been inactive for too long.
Daria's She's got her
She's got her own way of doing
things, but it's time wasted.
I don't want to step on her toes.
Her toes are the last thing
you'll be thinking about on RIF.
Just tell me what the appetite's like.
I'll think about putting
it in front of my guys.
Okay.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- I'll get the next one.
- YASMIN: What's this?
That's a new fund out of
Brevan. Just more noise.
JACKIE: disgusting pastries. And
by "disgusting," I mean they're great.
Swaps, futures, ETFs
So, I know that we said we were
scrapping Yasmin's Trade Idea,
but I was talking to
Harper from Cross Product,
and she was telling me
that she has this pitch
she's putting together
on the housing market
Eric has his way of doing
things, we have ours, okay?
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
Okay. I just really think
that with a minor spin
this could be interesting for us.
Harper said last night
that Daria's putting her into
a meeting with Aubrey Lewis
- from Allerton this afternoon
- Aubrey's in the building today?
Yeah.
What the fu Come with me.
Daria.
My grad tells me you have a meeting with
- Aubrey Lewis this afternoon?
- DARIA: Yeah, that's right.
Allerton is dual-coverage.
Someone should have told me.
Sorry, can you remind me who you are?
(CHUCKLES) I'm joking, Kenny.
We're not discussing FX business.
All right, w well, I
still think we should be
- a bit more coordinated.
- Aubrey does most
of his business through this desk.
Okay, fine, but Yas
Yasmin has formulated
an interesting play
on the housing market,
and I would like her in there
to gauge the temperature.
DARIA: (SCOFFS) I don't want
grads pitching in my meeting.
Not pitching. No. Just observing.
(SIGHS) Okay. Sure, fine.
Meeting's at 3:00.
Much appreciated.
You sit in. You keep quiet.
Note down every single
thing that's said.
I don't fuckin' believe that woman.
He's meant to be an FX account.
CPS have fucking poached him.
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
- (AUBREY LEWIS CHUCKLES)
- Does does your wife
not get irritated when
you don't come to bed?
Yeah, but she gets me back
by keeping me up all night.
- Sleep apnea.
- Have you tried hot yoga?
Is that the same as Bikram?
Strikes me as unhygienic.
Yes, they had to change the name
because of his sexual misconduct.
Ah, well, you've gotta be
careful whenever there's
a room of people really
listening to a man.
It all leads back to the
same thing. (CHUCKLES)
So, I've had some thoughts
about how you're positioned.
You know me, Daria. Wouldn't
know the sky was blue
if you didn't bring me a color chart.
Do you have any tail-risk hedges on?
I would advise against.
It's not the Pierpoint house view.
Isn't there merit in at least exploring
some kind of insurance?
Sometimes, yes,
- but all things being
- I've been working on a hedge
- on the housing market that I
- (CLEARS THROAT)
Yes?
YASMIN: Nothing, nothing, sorry.
I just thought Daria would
prefer to lead on this one.
(CHUCKLING)
Okay. But this is a CPS meeting,
and you're here to observe, so
Ladies, you know I'm
all ears for new ideas,
but let's not discuss
them on Aubrey's time.
Okay?
So, as I was saying, I've been
talking to some of the analysts,
and I think we should discuss
the dollar-sterling cable opportunity.
I mean, we expect the dollar
to rally against the pound.
- (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
MAN: Look, I'm getting
frustrated, Chase
Grand slam?
Yeah, I think it went well.
Well, did did he buy it or not?
I didn't There wasn't really
enough time to get into
ERIC: Not enough time? You
were in there forty minutes.
So So why am I
sending you into meetings?
Respectfully, Eric, I
brought her into the meeting.
Aubrey's been my client for three years.
I know his needs.
With what he pays, his needs
are subordinate to mine.
Again, respectfully, I have to disagree.
Harper had the balls to work
on something that was cogent
and commercial enough to
be put in front of clients.
We reward her. That's the system.
And if you'd asked me about
it, I could've provided you
with a list of more suitable clients.
I'd appreciate not being ambushed.
Jesus Christ, you want to make MD early,
and I still have to
hold your fucking hand?
No, that's not what I said.
I'm just saying a level of
respect in the workplace isn't
ERIC: And what the fuck were you doing,
taking FX in there with you?
She's a grad, Eric. It
was It was a favor.
Can you tell me the yield
you get out of that account
versus the hours you put in?
'Cause this isn't a fucking social club.
If you're gonna spend time stroking
these clueless fucking chinless
country club fucking Henrys,
I want to see it in dollars.
It's fucking pathetic otherwise.
Okay.
What's our number?
(OFFICE CHATTER QUIETS)
What is our desk's budget for the year?
How does nobody know
that fucking number?
I go to bed with that number!
- (TELEPHONE RINGING)
- (REPORTER SPEAKING ON TV)
We owe our clients nothing.
We have no fiduciary responsibility.
We're advisors, we are facilitators,
first and foremost.
You can't fucking facilitate nothing.
Daria should fucking know that.
(CHATTER RESUMES)
Sit at your desk and call
Allerton every twenty minutes
till Aubrey's back at the office.
Do not leave the floor
until he's heard you out.
And if he doesn't want
us to write his business,
any fucking business,
I want him pulled off every
distribution list he's on.
RISHI: Because I hate to
brag, but I've come in again.
(CHATTER CONTINUES)
CLEMENT COWAN: You
know what I say, Kaspar.
One meeting with management
Is worth a thousand research reports.
- (LAUGHS)
- It's good to know I'm valued, then.
Nobody's gonna tell
you they love you, Theo.
(LAUGHTER)
It's not like people pay for research.
No, that's exactly what we pay for.
- WAITER: Wine, sir?
- Not for me, thank you.
Are you sure we can't tempt you?
I don't drink.
Hi, this is Harper Stern
from Pierpoint again
RECEPTIONIST: Hello again.
Is it Aubrey you're after?
Is he back?
- Um, just now, but he might be
- I'll hold. I'll hold.
ERIC: Hey, Dar.
We're having the den redone.
Can you Can you lend
that world-class eye again?
Yeah, let me see.
ERIC: Well, we agreed on green.
AUBREY: (ON PHONE) Hello? Harper, Hello?
Hi, Aubrey. It's Harper from Pierpoint.
AUBREY: Yeah, what can I do for you?
- ERIC: It's two greens
- Eric asked me to call you.
I have an interesting counter
to your current exposure.
The analysts think that
equities will continue to rally,
but I think that there
is some risk in that view.
I think that housing is rolling over.
AUBREY: So, what are you offering me?
It's a combination of
puts, calls, and CDS
packaged in an elegant, cheap suite.
AUBREY: No, I don't trade CDS.
Why?
AUBREY: I don't trade
products I don't understand.
Well, these are packaged
in a digestible way.
You don't need to understand
the product, just the payout.
AUBREY: No, incorrect.
From tulip bulbs to CDOs,
newness has always
been a dangerous sign.
I'm not one of those market participants
who trades in the dark.
Trust me. These products aren't new.
AUBREY: Unfortunately,
I only trust myself,
but I almost trust Daria,
after three full years.
Is there anything else?
Harper?
Yeah, Aubrey, while I
have you on the phone,
do you wanna do that cable idea
that Daria was talking
about at the meet?
AUBREY: Sure. That's
transparent enough for me.
Make me a price in fifty dollars?
Twenty/thirty?
AUBREY: Thirty. Fifty dollars.
Okay, so just to
confirm, you're 50 at 30.
AUBREY: Yeah, I'm in a bit of
a hurry, but that sounds great.
Thanks for your time.
(COMPUTER BEEPS)
Sounded like something.
Yeah, he's gonna think about
it, but I managed to get him to
trade some FX now. Fifty cable.
Did Did he sell?
No, he bought it.
With sterling where it is?
Yes.
Thank you.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
- (ELEVATOR DINGS)
- YASMIN: Hi.
- Long day.
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors closing.
Doors closing.
Lift going down.
Just an FYI, ladies.
It's cute that you're living together,
but keep it professional at work.
Understood.
Really sorry. It won't happen again.
- (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
- AUTOMATED VOICE: Doors opening.
I mean, since Google went public in '04,
earnings are up a hundredfold,
the price is up tenfold.
Yeah, see, that's real
underlying business change.
You two must have been
at school together.
Uh, yeah, I was, uh, two years above.
Same house.
Was he your fag?
THEO: Um
I think that was abolished in the '90s.
Well, the Old Etonians'
capacity for debate
- continues to ruin the country.
- (ALL CHUCKLING)
Oh, shit. I've done it again.
How about a change of scenery?
- I feel sufficiently lubricated.
- Good.
Fine to settle?
Annabel's is calling.
KASPAR ZENDEN: Let's go and
pay some women to talk to us.
("WITCH DOCTOR" BY CRAZY P PLAYING)
USMAN ABBOUD: Malbec. Good choice.
My job's easier if Kaspar
thinks I'm conservative.
Shall we have one in Nobu?
It's only around the corner.
Excuse me, guys.
- Usman, very good to meet you.
- And you.
You know, Kaspar always said
my, uh, best business instinct
is my curiosity.
Have you ever been to Sweat Prom?
(MUSIC CONTINUES OVER SPEAKERS)
Our mission tonight
is to get Gus pregnant.
- Where do they go to fuck?
- What?
You know, when they want to go fuck?
Ah, he wants to know
where the dark room is.
Why you asking me?
Well, don't they build all
these places to standard?
Oi, Ben!
(CHUCKLES) Look at you.
You all right, Rogers?
You well? This is all right, innit?
("WISH YOU CALLED" BY SWAN
LINGO PLAYING THROUGH SPEAKERS)
(PHONE BUZZES)
I wish that I
Could see you now ♪
Wish you called any day ♪
Nevermore, no, no, no ♪
Later on, later on ♪
Pass it on the way ♪
See you waiting for yourself ♪
Everything ♪
- (MUSIC STOPS)
- (INDISTINCT CHATTER)
Harper?
- Hey, yeah.
- Hey. Will.
- Will, hi.
- If you hadn't guessed.
- (LAUGHS)
- How's it going?
- Jesus, sorry.
- Whoa, good start.
- Sorry.
- It's okay. (LAUGHS)
WILL HUNT: I was hawking
university application packages.
It's kind of like a "getting
into uni" consultant.
Everyone I worked with, every
single one of them, moron.
So, I'd have this call list,
Notting Hill, Kensington,
Chelsea numbers, that sort of thing,
And as soon as somebody
picked up, you'd be like,
"Have you started thinking about
university preparation yet?"
Get the fear in them early, you know.
How old are the kids?
Like 13, 14?
No fucking way. What do you
talk to a 14-year-old about?
- Pussy, mostly. Yeah.
- (LAUGHS)
The boys are always telling
me what they wank to.
It is weird. It is weird.
But I just nod along.
"Oh, okay, mate, sure."
HARPER: Kylie or Kendall?
WOMAN: Yeah, the dickhead didn't show.
WILL: Um Uh
Do you know her?
Why would I know her?
You just strike me as the kind of guy
who would arrange a
multiple-choice date.
That would be sociopathic. (CHUCKLES)
William Hunt.
- Mmm.
- "Will hunt."
Is that, like, a name or an M.O.?
Mmm. This dog will hunt.
- That's literally horrible.
- I felt bad saying it.
(HARPER LAUGHS)
What do you think the record is
for the least amount of words
spoken at one of these before
Before what?
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
- I haven't showered.
- HARPER: I don't want you to.
WILL: Okay.
(PANTS, MOANS)
(MOANING CONTINUES)
(SIGHS)
- (MOANS) Do you have a condom?
- Yeah.
Okay, get it.
Ah, an uncut dick.
(CHUCKLES)
I feel like I'm in a
Richard Curtis movie.
(WILL EXHALES)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GIGGLES)
(PANTING) Yes
(GASPS)
(MOANING)
(MOANING CONTINUES)
- (WILL BREATHING HEAVILY)
- (HARPER MOANING)
(MOANING CONTINUES)
(CLEARS THROAT)
("FEARING LOVE" BY SERGE DEVANT PLAYING)
I always think of you, baby ♪
You, baby ♪
And when the fire's
Burning out ♪
It's always
Back in you, honey ♪
You, honey ♪
You got me going
Round and round ♪
To get away from you, baby ♪
You, baby ♪
And when the stars
Are coming out ♪
ROBERT: (LAUGHS) Whoo! Yeah!
You, honey ♪
(CHEERING)
(MUSIC CONTINUES)
Whoo!
I have to go. You gonna be okay?
Get him anything he wants.
As long as he's alive in
the morning, we're good.
Mwah.
(LAUGHS)
Mate!
GUS: Clapham. Can you go to Clapham?
Mate, don't go to Clapham.
All right? Never go to fucking Clapham.
Let's just go home.
GUS: Go and secure the client.
That's what Clement would want.
Can you take us to Finsbury Park?
- DRIVER: Yeah, jump in.
- Stay.
Clapham, please, mate.
DRIVER: No worries.
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(LOCK RATTLES)
(SIGHS, WHISPERS) What
the fuck? Dude, look.
You cannot just show up
here. Okay? Alice is here.
Is she asleep?
- Come on, let me in.
- Just go home. We'll talk about it tomorrow
GUS: We're friends. Just let me in.
- Fucking stop pushing me.
- GUS: What you doing?
THEO: Mate. Shut up! Shh.
(BOTH WHISPERING)
- Ooh! (LAUGHS LOUDLY)
- Shut up. Shut the fuck up.
(WHISPERING) Shut the fuck up.
Stop. Okay, stop.
(BOTH PANTING)
(UNZIPS FLY)
(MOANS)
(GUS SIGHS)
(THEO MOANING, PANTING)
(LAUGHS)
(WHISPERING) Shut the fuck up.
You'll wake her.
(MOANS)
(PANTING)
(MOANS)
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
HARPER: So do you
seriously always chew gum
while you're having sex?
- WILL: Yeah, I mean
- HARPER: I didn't even notice.
- I just, um, I've always got gum
- Do you want this?
- Yeah, I do. I really do.
- Don't tell anyone. (LAUGHS)
- Prefer it to staging a robbery.
- (LAUGHING) Oh, my God.
YASMIN: Hey.
- Oh. Sorry, I, um
- (CHUCKLES)
I thought you went to bed.
Oh, yeah, no, I'm just trying to unwind.
This is Will. But he's
just leaving, so
Really, uh, wicked place.
- Thanks.
- Thank you.
- D'you Go ahead.
- Yeah, sure.
(DOOR OPENS)
Uh, so, thanks for that and that.
HARPER: Right, yeah, of
course. See you about. Yeah.
- Bye.
- Bye.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS)
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
Is that a performance bonus?
Oh, I think it was an
attempt at chivalry.
(CLICKS TONGUE)
- You want some?
- Okay. (LAUGHS)
I genuinely thought that
was Seb for a second.
That's why I chose him.
Listen.
I think if you want to pay
rent, then you should pay rent.
I think that's a really good idea.
YASMIN: Is 3K fair? It
is Notting Hill, so
HARPER: We can figure something out.
(YASMIN CHUCKLES)
("WISH YOU CALLED" BY SWAN LINGO PLAYING)
I wish that I
Could see you now ♪
Wish you called any day ♪
Nevermore, no, no, no ♪
Later on, later on ♪
Pass it on the way ♪
See you waiting for yourself ♪
Everything that you need ♪
You're the captain
Build away ♪
Don't hold me ♪
Some things
You want from me ♪
I can't, I can't
Be everything ♪
Some things
You want from me ♪
I can't, I can't
Be everything ♪
I, I won't
Fulfill your every need ♪
(SONG CONCLUDES)
What's it really like, being
a woman in this environment?
Not so much as being a man. (CHUCKLES)
And there's always banter.
Banter? Sounds like a euphemism.
Well, you have to have a sense of humor.
This is clearly a brain-fry,
um, I must've mis-booked it.
YASMIN KARA-HANANI: You
come here because it's one
of the fewer places where
nobody cares where you're from.
ROBERT SPEARING: You risk your
job if you don't come clean.
No, no. I'm not allowed
to make any mistakes.
ERIC TAO: So you lied to me?
HARPER STERN: Well, is it illegal?
(FIRE ALARM BLARES)
There are many potential
role models here.
You can be one of them.
(INHALES, CLEARS THROAT)