Informer (2018) s01e03 Episode Script
Charlie Don't Surf
1 Dr Obina, the hospital where you work is right next door to Cafe 66.
Yes, that's correct.
Me and my colleagues go to that cafe for lunch, you know? Simon, where do you need me? We're just making room for a major incident.
Multiple casualties.
Theatre two.
Sats? Sats at 92%.
BP over 60.
Trauma unit is full so we're going to have to prep him in here.
At what point did you become aware of the patient's identity? You're asking when did I know he was the perpetrator of the attack? That's correct.
Excuse me, this waits until he is out of surgery.
I doubt he'll last that long.
That doesn't matter.
We need an ID as soon as we can.
So this is him? He lives, he dies, we'll be right here.
Did knowing what the patient had done affect your work at all? The bullet entered below his right mandible and exited above his left eye socket.
He was beyond saving.
You are not going to find any terrorists down there, bro.
Stop fidgeting.
I just don't see why I can't do it.
Oi.
Believe it or not, it's no picnic for me either.
Hold still.
All right.
The mic's behind your zipper.
If you need a slash, be careful.
I feel like I've got "snitch" just tattooed on my forehead.
Nobody's going to be patting you down at a funeral.
You really think this big-shot guy is going to show up for the salat? We won't know if we're not there, will we? All we do know is Yousef's dead, and someone killed him.
I'm swimming in this thing.
It ain't a fashion show.
Our camera is in this top button.
Anyone you meet, get their full names.
Repeat it nice and clear.
Try to stand about arm's length back.
This is so dirty.
Spying at a Janazah.
Well, the way I see it, we're looking for the fella who killed the fella getting buried.
It evens out.
Not if this big shot finds me wearing a wire.
- Then don't get caught.
- Hm.
Names and faces.
That's all I need.
CHANTING Strong turnout today.
Your brother was obviously some dude.
If what you believe is to get into Jannah and that.
We take allcomers.
What are you wearing? For real.
You look like you're going to sell me a mattress.
Nah, it's my dad's.
Best I could do.
Cut Waleed, how are you holding up, bruv? Erm W-what's Cut even short for anyway, like, what's .
.
what's your full name? Why are you going around asking people's names, fam? My name means you're liable to get cut.
You know, we call him that cos his dad never paid bills.
Leccy was always getting cut.
Bruv, that was, like, one time.
Hey, come.
Having food back at mine.
Listen to a bunch of strangers tell me about Yousef.
- Salaam-alaikum.
- Wa-alaikum-salaam.
Yeah, it's good to see the ummah out in full force.
It's a beautiful thing, innit? Are we going back to yours, bruv? Nah, just friends and family, innit? It's a long walk for you, though.
Long.
Take care of yourself, yeah? Look after yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, that was beautiful.
- Bless.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
- Peace.
- Thanks.
Sorry, fellas.
I didn't meet you all.
I'm Raza Shar.
Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys.
I'm Raza.
- What's going on? You good? - Good.
Yeah, yeah, Raza.
Yeah, I met you one time, man.
Yeah, yeah.
What's your name again? Levi.
Yeah, Levi.
- Is that Levi? - Levi.
Just Levi.
INDISTINCT CHATTER HE SNIFFS Dadir, right? Roxy.
I was, erm .
.
I was friends with your brother.
Yeah? Listen, I'm really sorry Yeah, yeah, OK.
All right.
Thanks.
I was thinking maybe we could talk.
About Yousef? It's what we're all here for, innit? Maybe WE could talk, me and you.
Join the back of the queue.
Yousef was sharking all over.
All them girls had their hands out.
I ain't got nothing for you.
That's not what I'm here for.
You shouldn't come begging at his funeral.
This is some low-end shit.
Rizla, you seeing this? My brother's dead.
Skank bank's closed.
Move on with your life.
You should probably come back another time.
- Caught him on a bad day.
- Don't worry.
I won't come back.
Oh, OK.
What What was your name again? Sorry, mate.
Say hello to the family for me.
- Raza, love, there you are.
- What are you doing here?! I've come to pay my respects.
Read about it in the local.
You never told me nothing about Dadir's brother passing.
This is friends and family.
You can't be here.
Mad.
Whole Shar clan here now, yeah? I forgot my keys.
My dad just Keys? What are you blathering about? Come here.
You all right, then? You're all right, love.
Yeah, I'm all right.
Thanks for asking, Mr Shar.
Hey! None of this "mister".
It's Hanif to you, OK? Come.
Come meet my mum.
- I don't think I'm dressed for that.
- Yeah, no, maybe another time.
What do you mean? Just give him his jacket back.
He'll look suave.
That's not my jacket.
Of course it is.
I got it from your wardrobe.
All right.
Give it over, then.
I'm good.
Well, is it your jacket or is it my jacket? Just give him his jacket.
Take your time.
Easy.
- I know how to put on a jacket.
- I know, yeah.
I must have been a thinner man! Ha-ha! So, your brother.
Devout sort, was he? Well, I mean In that case .
.
I brought him a gift.
Mr Shar, you're a bad man, you know that? THEY CHUCKLE - Come on.
Let's drink this for Yousef.
- All right.
Come on.
It's what he would have wanted.
- # I kissed my girl - I kissed my girl - # By the factory wall - By the factory wall - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town Clouds are drifting WOMAN: Keep it down, would ya?! I'm going to call the police! Hey, be quiet, you big pussycat! # Springs a girl - # From the streets at night - From the streets at night - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town I heard a sigh We've got to get home.
Ummi keeps texting me.
- We've got to leave.
- Come on.
- Feel the rhythm! - Let's go.
- Last chance! - I spawned such a killjoy! Shut it down or I'm going to call the police! - Keep it going till dawn if you have to, boys! - Oh shut up! Come on.
Let's go.
I'm going, I'm going! Dadir! Hey! Hey! Let me say goodnight.
- Dadir, hey! - Abu, no.
Apologies, bruv.
A few too many.
I'm just trying to get him home.
Sorry, I'm Raza.
You're talking to people about me? Yeah, Rizla, maybe not now, yeah? Not now.
Put away your hand before I cut it off.
Hey, that's my son you're talking to, all right? All right, Abu.
We probably should get home.
Listen to your boy, old man.
Who are you calling "old man", eh? - Eh? - Hey, hey! Wait! Wait! SIRENS WAIL You called the police? - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town Dirty old town Oh, you got pace on you, love.
HE PANTS AND COUGHS I ain't had to run from the Old Bill like that since my stag do.
You're not going to have a heart attack on me, are you? HE COUGHS I've got to have a tinkle.
THEY HUM A TUNE I don't think this is mine.
How was the funeral? You tell me.
All right, let's start again.
Did you meet anyone interesting? You ever been to a funeral before? It's mostly just a lot of sad people, innit? All right, there was this one dude, but he got real sketchy when I tried talking to him.
Right.
You get a name? I tried.
Well, you've got to try harder.
Have you got any info about him? Eastern European.
Drove a white van.
You need to get Dadir to introduce you.
OK.
How am I doing that? There's this fish, the pilot fish.
Everyone in the ocean steers clear of the shark, but the pilot fish doesn't have to.
It sits there, right there under the shark's fin.
It goes wherever the shark goes, sees whatever the sharks sees.
They trust each other so much that this ballsy little fucker eats the leftovers right out of the shark's mouth.
What are you on about? Why do you sound like David Attenborough? You stick to Dadir, he'll get you there.
The fella with the white van, get me a name.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Where's Raza keep his ciggies? I know he hides them from me.
No, I hide them from you.
You don't, do you? Hanif, what are you actually looking for? I don't know.
Do you want to know his secret hiding spot? He thinks he's so bloody smart.
Who puts a beanbag on the balcony? Look.
- DOOR OPENS - That's not what I'm looking for.
DISTANT VOICE That'll be the boys.
Put it back, put it back! I'll keep them busy.
Hand to God, whatever's in that tin, nothing to do with me, Mr Shar.
I believe you, Karl.
Millions wouldn't, but I do.
Well, I'm touched, mate.
I do have a question for a man in your profession.
Ask away.
- This mate of mine - Right.
.
.
comes round the pub the other day.
We're all just talking, nothing special.
Bunch of old lefties.
Anyway, I notice he's got a little camera on his jacket.
That ain't a mate, that's a snitch.
Hang on, I haven't told the whole story.
Well, what's to know? Your mate is a snitch.
You should do him.
I've known him a long time.
Don't matter how long you've been friendly with a snake.
It's still prone to bite you, innit? Geezer at the shop said that's the best one for wannabe paparazzo.
Sound.
What is this? Leica? I don't know what they call it.
Whatever it is, it ain't cheap.
Why are you trying to bribe me? What do you want? Your brother bought you a nice present.
How about a thank-you? OK, thank you.
Where did you get the money for that, then? Nowhere.
Just got my overtime, didn't I? So when do I get my bloody gift, then, huh? Source 9 put in a good shift at the funeral.
One of these faces might be Yousef's connection to El Adoua.
Crosscheck names with the watchlist.
If you don't have a name, work the snouts, find one.
We know this one, don't we? Oh, Christ.
That's Akash Williams.
He's a keyboard jihadi.
Popped up on a GCHQ watchlist.
I looked in on him last year.
His online profile is sympathetic to the cause.
El Adoua comes through London, never sets foot on public transport, no phone calls, all cash transactions.
That's tradecraft.
This guy, Akash, failed all his GCSEs and he lives with his grandma and grandad.
I think our big shot is a touch more sophisticated than that, darling.
Well, we still have to rule him out.
That's my spot at the grill.
The driver.
The white van, that's him.
OK.
I thought MIT ruled out the owner already? The registered owner.
Some 87-year-old with vascular dementia.
Someone clearly registered the van in his name.
Well, let's prioritise getting him ID'd.
My snout's working Yousef's brother.
Holly, let's knock Akash off the list.
OK.
Also going to need that £50 registration fee, brother.
What do you need my dad's number for? The guy is useless.
Just put down your mate Dadir if you want.
I don't actually care.
It's just an emergency contact in case you get knocked out.
Right, doors are nine to nine, and I'm not a laundry service, so bring your own towel, OK? Bro, I've got two rules, man.
No wankers, no phones.
- Fine by me.
- Right, cool.
We're going to start you off on the ropes, yeah? Just, er, come this way.
So, we warm up over here and the changing rooms are over there.
That's where the toilets are as well.
"Never trust non-Muslims.
" "Mujahideen strategies.
" "Can Kafir be family?" Disgusting! Akash, how can your nan not be your family? Feeds you three beautiful halal meals every day, doesn't she!? David! Blood pressure! If you continue to post these on your socials, sooner or later I don't do nothing.
I'm just sharing.
That can be enough.
And it won't be us here knocking at your door, it'll be armed units coming here to arrest you.
That bleeding-heart social worker what's supposed to help, all she did were have us cancel t'internet.
It's called Prevent.
All it's preventing is Trisha from Skyping at her sister.
Now she's got to go all the way down to the cafe to get online.
We're at the end of a very bloody long rope here.
Do you mind if we step out for a minute? It might be better if we talk to Akash alone.
You know we're more than fair with him.
I don't doubt it, we just need five minutes.
Through there.
Who's this cheeky chappie? Your dad's still in Brum, is he? Do you see him much? No-one wants to go to Brum.
He didn't hang about, did he, after your mum died? What would you know about my mum? I knew she wouldn't want this situation for you.
I read that nonsense you post online.
Now that I've met you, you seem like an all right bloke.
Grandparents are sweet enough for a couple of geezers.
Sweeter than mine, I'll tell you that much.
So, what is it, Akash? What gets you so wound up? Not me.
Koran, innit? "Slay them where you find them.
" That's actually a mistranslation, it's "fight them where they fight you.
" It says what it says.
I didn't write it.
It's about self-defence.
Next verse says QUOTES VERSE IN ARABIC You might have known it better if you didn't get kicked out your mosque.
I didn't get kicked out.
That imam's working for the CIA.
They're all CIA there.
But yous know all about that.
He's on the payroll, don't lie.
I've been approached, like, four times, you know.
Tap on the shoulder, innit? And what did they ask of you? Top-secret stuff, probably.
Who approached you? What did they look like? It was this guy, well, they They? So it was two people that approached you? Their names? Jamie and Steve.
The CIA gave you their names? Really? So, who's Jamie and Steve? Or have you got it confused? - No, I'm not confused.
- You sound confused.
- There was one or two of them? - Doesn't matter how many.
- And their names were Jason and Simon? - No, I said Jamie and Simon.
You said Jamie and Steve.
- Well, I forgot! - They said they were MI6? No, I said CIA.
MI6 or CIA? - Doesn't matter, does it?! - Why don't you go to Brum, Kash? Cos he doesn't want to fucking see me, does he?! Count to ten when you get angry.
You've heard that one, I bet.
Eh? Thing is, when I get angry, numbers escape me.
Before I know it, Mr Hyde's on the prowl again.
You've got to learn to control it.
Here, here's a little trick I learned.
There.
Just look at the timer and breathe.
Just breathe.
You don't want us to come back here.
INDISTINCT CHATTER PHONE CHIMES Got an alert from the OP.
The Albanians are back.
Let's get over there.
Foxtrot 1 to control.
We have a subject moving south on Aston, over.
RADIO: Roger that, Foxtrot 1.
Do you require assistance? Negative.
We're four lengths back, we don't expect to engage, over.
Roger that.
What's going on tonight? I promise I'll leave my dad at home this time.
You're lucky the feds showed up.
Mandem was about to get active.
Yeah, who was that dude? You don't want to know.
So, what are you saying, then? Meet up in a bit? All right, yeah, cool.
Next time, man.
Who were you talking to? Don't worry about it.
Go back to sleep.
RADIO: Go ahead, Foxtrot.
Yeah, I need background on the old ballroom on Barking Road.
See whose name's on the deed, purchase history, - whatever you've got.
- Roger that.
Guys, you're late.
What's your ETA? RADIO: Difficult to say.
Traffic's rough.
Can't you just throw on your blues and twos? Can't be having that.
Discretion is of the utmost importance.
Sorry, we're wasting away here.
LAUGHTER - Look at that, traffic cleared up! - Bastards.
Red building, subject entered three hours ago.
Hope you've brought a book.
So ballroom's owned by DDLM Consulting.
It's listed on the Kosovo Chamber of Commerce as an accounting firm.
It's a shell.
Board members' names are probably all picked off tombstones.
Well, we should still put a call in.
Charlie! Fucking hell, how are you? Ey up, lad.
Fucking hell.
Nigel! I didn't recognise you, mate.
Well, you know, time gets every man.
You an' all.
I thought you was off in the states, California? No, I'm down in Florida, mate, near Disneyland, yeah.
Fucking Mickey Mouse, innit? Well, done nowt for the tan, I see, huh? Has this lovely thing got a name? Holly.
Hi.
Nigel Briggs, at your service.
Yeah, we're working on a construction bid, so hopefully we'll be over here a lot more now.
How is it toiling for this one, eh? He's a right maniac, as I know him.
He's not so bad, as long as he remembers to count to ten.
Sounds about right, eh? Have you heard Skittles bollocksed it with her parole board? Hey, what the fuck do they know? There's always next year, eh? How do you two know each other? You don't want us to get into that, you know.
Too blue for your precious ears.
What are you doing down here, anyway? I thought you said you'd never set foot in London.
Ah, I fucked right off, you know? I still stay out the PC swamp as far as I can.
But, you know, when duty calls.
Master of disaster, eh? Sharon said you'd matured.
I thought like old cheese, you know, not like fine wine.
Hey, come on, you're not so bad yourself, mate.
Clean as a cat's mouth, me.
- Seven year, now.
- No way? That's great, mate.
Are you still bumping into Sharon, then? Aye, now and again, now and again.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, she'd kill me if I didn't snap the old selfie.
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Ha-ha, hey.
Sorted.
Nice one.
Hey, listen, I'd love to glory-days it with you, but, you know, I've got a load that won't wait on me, so Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey, it's been special bumping into you.
- Aye, aye.
If I ever catch word you've been in that Legion, drinking without me, there'll be hell to pay.
You'll not lose any sleep on that.
All right.
See you around.
WHISPERS: Fucking hell.
MUTTERS: Yeah, yeah Yeah.
Justjust have to be careful.
PHONE RINGS Yes, Rizla, what is it? Just going to hit the pad.
Do you want to come? Nah, man, I've got something going.
- Yeah? What's that? - Blud, you're nosy.
Why you always ask me questions? Nah, I'm just looking for something to do.
Yeah? Yeah, I can come by.
Now? Yeah, for what? What are we doing? All right, I get it.
No questions.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, bring a helmet.
Bye.
Why you spying on me, weirdo? Why are you spending 100 quid on a pair of shoes? Gora wedding, innit? Can't exactly rock up in a pair of fake creps.
- Who's getting married? - No-one you know.
- See you later.
- Where you going? - Out.
- But where, though? Are you going to see your girlfriend? Mind your own business, perv.
Hey.
Hey.
I wanted to explain something about last night.
He was a contact from your UC work? Yeah.
Yeah, and there's protocol, you know.
I'm supposed to report any interaction with anyone from that time.
It's a whole song and dance.
I'd appreciate it if you left this out of your duty statement.
You don't write these up normally? I've never had to.
I've never had a run-in before.
What about Was it Sharon, he mentioned? Yeah.
It was ten years ago.
You know, just after the case.
I'd rather leave it in.
I'm still trying to get on Rose's good side.
It's only a duty statement.
Anything I say will speak to how well you kept your cover.
Yeah.
You never lose it.
That's the training.
First thing they teach you is how to carry yourself.
See you, when you walk, you lead with your toes.
Doesn't everyone? When I was a kid, my dad always told me to stand up straight.
So I lead with my chest.
But Charlie, it's down here in the hips.
And there's other things you can do, you know, hair, clothes.
Everyone's got a different way of reaching out to the world.
Touching it.
Go on, take it.
Oh, she's a grabber.
What about Charlie? Charlie? Oh, he's a squeezer.
See, the problem is, when you're the lie, it's hard to know which part of you is the truth.
And that's the burden.
It's your call.
Better hit the road.
Well, either way, no good to anyone dead.
What time do you call this, Rizla? It's now.
- Whatever, man.
- So, where we going? Yo! You going to throw it over or you just going to stand there like a mug? You live on this estate? No.
No? You got people here? No, I don't think so.
So what you doing here, then, man? Huh? HE SCOFFS Chill, don't piss yourself, man.
- Get off me.
- Shut up, man.
- Give that back, bruv.
- Really? It's ancient, bruv.
Oi! You could have smashed my nan's window! Knob off.
Go on! You dickhead! Piss off! You'd better run! - Are you buddy-buddy with them? - I'm just trying to find my brother.
Yeah? Who's your brother? You don't know him.
Raza.
I've seen him, yeah.
Raza's my homie.
Bro! He's a total legend.
That's nice.
You taking photos with it? Yeah, that's what you do with a camera.
I've got a pro camera at home.
Telephoto.
It holds, like, 1,000 gigs.
1,000 gigs? Bruv, does that even exist? How many gigs does that store, then, bro? Not even one.
Think about that.
OK.
I'm going to go home.
Come on, bro.
They don't mess with me.
Do you like cars? - Yeah, depends which one.
- Hmm.
Pussies.
KNOCKS ON DOOR What are you doing? Wait here.
I don't even know where here is.
Here's here, innit? Just keep an eye out.
For what? You've got eyes, haven't you? Bad shit coming my way, just .
.
honk the horn or something.
DOOR BUZZES PHONE VIBRATES What you waiting for? Get in there.
What are you on about? - I said, get in there.
- Are you following me? Maybe.
Seriously, stop messing with me.
Are you here? - Flash him the lights.
- Are you here? Bruv, where are you? I'm right behind you.
See me? Oh, what are you doing here? I'm waiting for you to get your arse in there.
Go on, pile of fish! You sure it's safe in there? He'll be all right.
Try the other door.
Go on.
There he is.
Told you.
Boy's a natural.
Hello? Yo, Dadir? Oh, my Rizla, what are you doing in here?! Hey, I know this one.
This is your guy with the old man.
Enough! This is your friend? Yeah, no, what it is, I told him to wait outside.
This is not outside.
Perhaps he's not your friend.
No, no, Mr Gramos, it's not like that.
You see I - GUN CLICKS - Shh-shh-shh-shh.
Your shirt and jeans.
Your clothes, off.
RAZA BREATHES SHAKILY Have you been running? Hm? What's your name? Raza.
Raza Shar.
Raza Shar.
India? Bangladesh? Pakistan? Pakistani.
Kashmiri? Punjabi? Urdu? Urdu.
I want you to be honest with me now.
Why are you in my house? Dadir said to watch his back.
There's a surveillance van parked across the street.
I thought you should know.
How you know this? Plumbing van.
I saw this geezer get inside.
He hasn't moved.
Rizla's a chess master, Mr Gramos.
Trust.
THEY SPEAK IN OTHER LANGUAGE THEY SPEAK IN OTHER LANGUAGE Get dressed.
Raza Shar.
Chess master! HE COUGHS - Who'd you meet behind that door? - Your big shot, dude.
How do you know it was him? I don't know, cos he acted like a general all-round big shot, like, stripped me down, had a machinegun at my face.
That's good.
Tell me about him.
That's good? Are you serious? It's all a matter of perspective.
- Yeah, thanks, bruv.
- I'm not your bruv.
I'm not here to catch your feelings.
You're in the back of my car for one reason.
Information.
The fellow with the machinegun, tell me about him.
Dadir called him Mr Gramos.
He's old, like, older-than-you old.
He's Albanian.
What makes him Albanian? They had the flag up, you know, the bird.
What else? He's waving a machinegun around.
What else do you need to know? I was doing what you told me to.
Apparently that's all I ever do.
Pilot fish - go where the shark goes.
Guess where the shark leads you? Bigger fuckin' sharks! I got you your big shot, dude.
When are you going to arrest him? Soon, maybe.
No more soon.
Now.
I want out now! When I say soon, it's soon.
When I say now, it's now.
And when I say talk, you talk.
I promise you, there's no bigger shark down here than me.
I want more, then.
I want my mum to be British, on paper.
You can do that, right? I can help, but you're going to have to earn it.
I just stood out in front of the Albanian massif with a gun at my head and my flopper hanging out.
What else can I give you? Hey.
You survived.
That's the hardest part.
PHONE CHIMES Hello? WOMAN: Excuse me, who's this? Why do you have my husband's phone? I-I don't know your husband.
I found this in a taxi.
The driver looked shifty so I didn't want to leave it with him.
- Oh, sorry - TRAILS OFF Yeah, it's, erm, it's early.
Can we do this later? I'm sorry.
Sorry about the call.
It's not Well, I mean, it is, but Thanks for covering.
Oh, thanks.
Good luck with your wife.
We don't need to shake on it, mate.
Right.
DOOR CLOSES That bloke was married? - How long have you been up? - He has a wife.
Don't look at me like that.
It's not like he advertised it on his profile.
Holls, if there's one thing we both know for certain it's that all men lie.
They sweat lies, they shit lies.
- Hmm.
- If a man is talking, it's a lie.
FRIDGE OPENS, RATTLING CHANTING: Action 14! Action 14! Action 14! I've got this genius system, you know.
I call the lady at the skip company and she tells me whether they've been hired out by any car shops or mechanics and that.
Bro, bro, come here! Yes! As if! - You see that, yeah? - Yeah.
That'll cost you 500 to fit in at a scrapyard, you know.
- Feel that.
- Oh, it's heavy.
- It is, innit? - Yeah.
Let me get a picture.
Tilt it, bro.
All I'm getting is glare.
You're going to eat up my data.
Why can't we use your phone? I'm not supposed to use the internet, innit? VIDEO: Tighten up the nuts and the bolts Hey, Akash.
You nicked me tools again? No.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about me spanners.
And who's this young man? My friend, Nas.
Hiya.
I'm helping with the car.
If that jalopy ever gets running again, you two lads can take me and his nan down t'boozer, can't you, eh? HE CHUCKLES So, what? Your dad's a gora, then? No way! The old git's my mum's dad.
Kafir bastard.
Why are you so tense? - Lean back.
- I'm not tense.
The water's too hot.
Oh, you're always so fussy.
You always run the water too hot.
Kills the head lice.
You've been saying that same joke since I can remember.
So, what are you so worried about? - Me? - Mm-hm.
Nothing.
This wedding.
Do her parents know you're Asian? Well, they put my name on the seating chart.
If they ain't cracked the case by now, they're never going to.
SHE CHUCKLES You know, when I first came here, I went out with a gora.
A rugby player.
This one time, we met his mother.
I don't know why, I started speaking with a proper English accent.
hello, ma'am, your son is so splendid! "Lovely weather we're having!" So I had to just dump this rugby player just to save myself from the bloody accent.
So you just be you, huh? Let everybody at this wedding see.
My boy's a fucking superstar, hm? Boom! SHE CHUCKLES DISTANT CHORAL SINGING You all right, love? She wants a word with you.
Mr Briggs? Holly.
We met the other day.
Yeah, I got your message.
If I had owt to say, I would have called you back.
Right.
I was hoping we could talk for a minute, regarding Charlie.
Didn't I say? I got your message.
Have I upset you somehow? You can tell Charlie, I ain't said nowt, I ain't done nowt.
I daren't even think nowt.
Right, well, I'm not here FOR Charlie, but I am here ABOUT Charlie.
As he mentioned, we might be going into business together.
This is just due diligence.
Clearly you two have a long history.
Yeah, yeah, history all right, yeah.
I've done my time.
Five years, three months, 17 days.
And what life I've got left, I clawed together, but that's the lot I got.
I'm grateful for it.
I'm not here to disturb that.
Well, then, you'll be on your way.
I noticed you drive a lorry now.
Must be nice, being on the road after a time inside.
Five years, three months, 17 days.
Does that count as a spent conviction? Pretty sure anything above four years you have to declare to your employer.
Or am I wrong? Mardy Charlie, huh? One glimpse and I get back in quicksand again, huh? There's no harm in answering a few questions.
Well, then, you don't know him, do you? I'd steer a lifetime away from that man, if I were you.
There's some of God's creatures you don't see coming.
How's that? No, it's too tight.
They're supposed to be tight.
You don't want them flying off when you're barrelling down on goal, do you? - Where did you say her shin pads were? - They're already in the car.
PHONE VIBRATES Right, come on.
- I've got to take this.
- Yeah, we'll be in the car.
MAN: This is Redwood Virtual Office, Orlando.
He's coming, he's coming.
Just be a minute.
We have an incoming call for Charlie Goodman - from - SHARON: It's Sharon.
To accept the call, press one.
To forward to voicemail Hello, stranger.
Charlie, I'm confused.
How are you back in Florida already? Have you spoken to Nigel? Hey, listen.
I wasn't there for long.
- It was just a flying visit.
- Oh, OK.
I barely had time to unpack, let alone make it up north.
Please can you turn on the hot air, Mum? Sharon? Charlie, you promised me when you're on this side of the ocean, you're mine, but if I hear you're in the country and not dropping in on the Legion, how am I not going to be on the fucking warpath? Are you there, Charlie? Hello? Mummy? That woman said a bad word.
Yeah, it's just the radio.
Not losing you for another Saturday, are we? Did I say anything about going in? I've got a lot of money riding on this match.
Are you ready to win? Ole, ole, ole, ole! Go on! BOTH: # Ole, ole! HONKS HORN # Ole, ole! Ole! Keep it up! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Lovely.
MUSIC: The Look of Love by ABC Hello.
Hello, honey.
Dad wants you to join his pub team, apparently.
Of course he does.
I'm a trivia machine.
The bar's empty.
Better make my move.
You can't still be nervous? It's more your mum I'm wary of.
No lie, she was kind of giving me the vibe.
You're so full of shit.
You, me, next song.
Can I get a Jack and Coke? Sorry about that, bruv.
I get it.
- I can't stand that shit, neither.
- Won't get any better.
We'll be doing the Macarena by midnight! Jack and Coke, if you don't mind.
Room stash.
12 years.
Don't be telling no-one, though.
Oh, no, no.
Don't worry, bro.
That's for them, innit? - Be easy, bruv.
- Bless.
# Dizzy # I'm so dizzy # My head is spinning # Like a whirlpool, it never ends # And it's you, girl, making it spin # You're making me dizzy # My head is spinning # Like a whirlpool, it never ends # And it's you, girl, making it spin You're making me dizzy CHILDREN SHOUT TO EACH OTHER Here you are.
Has she scored yet? Um, she hit the ball once.
I don't think it went where she intended.
She'll get better in the second half.
Yeah.
Who's Charlie? Is that one of Lori's friends? It's not a trick question, Gabe.
Why don't you answer it, then? I heard it in the car.
Lori heard it.
I never ask you about who calls you in the middle of the night, weekends.
I don't ask about where you go, who you see.
I know you can't talk about your work, but there is one person, whenever they call you, I can tell.
It shakes you.
Sets you off-kilter somehow.
I don't know, I can't put my finger on it.
At least I've got a name now.
Charlie.
It's just a name.
Doesn't mean anything.
It's the name I use to keep the unsavouries far from here, from you and Lori.
PHONE VIBRATES But not too far.
MUSIC: Macarena by Los del Rio Can I bum one? - Thanks, bruv.
- Cheers, bruv.
You must be psychic.
It's not even midnight.
Bruv, I've done a thousand weddings.
Someone's going to throw up, someone's going to fight, someone's going to fuck, and everyone does the Macarena.
It's always the same shit.
All right.
Tell me who's going to fuck.
All right.
Him, pink tie, and, er, her, blue dress.
You sure about that? - No doubt.
- Why you saying that? Posh girls all got a type.
Don't like me or you.
They like that pussy-o.
That's funny, cos she's my girl.
- For real? - Hmm.
Oh, my bad, bruv.
Relax, bruv.
You got your girl, it's all good.
Yeah, but I ain't saying it's all good.
You're talking about, she's going to get with someone else.
No, no.
Say what you mean.
I already said it.
You know I didn't mean it.
You meant it, it's OK.
Say it.
What the fuck is your problem? WOMEN GASP AND SCREAM Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Raza, stop! - Come on! - What the hell are you doing?! Raza, poor form, man! What's come over you? Get him some water.
- Charlotte! - Idiot! Ugh, I'm so sorry.
This train is for Bank.
The next station is Island Gardens.
When leaving the train, please take all your belongings with you.
Your ummi's had a chamomile.
She won't wake for elephants.
Sit down.
I need to sleep, Abu.
I'm beat.
Raza, love, do you know what you're getting yourself into? Bed, hopefully.
What are you on about? You, working for the police! That's mental.
Where did you hear that? I didn't hear it.
I seen the camera in your jacket, didn't I? Whatever you're doing, you have to stop.
It's too dangerous.
What do you know about dangerous? I'm your father.
I protect you.
I protect this whole family.
Since when? Since? Since I cut your bloody umbilical cord, that's when! - Smarty-arse! - You can have a round of applause, then.
I'm surprised they let you near a pair of scissors.
Or did you find the decency to put your beers down for two ticks while your sons were born? Fuck me, bruv.
I protect this family.
It's on me now.
Go back to sleep.
# I found my love # By the gasworks croft # Dreamed a dream # By the old canal # Kissed my boy # By the factory wall # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # Clouds are drifting across the moon # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # I'm going to take me a good sharp axe # Shining steel tempered in the fire # Cut you down like an old, dead tree # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # Dirty old town Dirty old town.
Yes, that's correct.
Me and my colleagues go to that cafe for lunch, you know? Simon, where do you need me? We're just making room for a major incident.
Multiple casualties.
Theatre two.
Sats? Sats at 92%.
BP over 60.
Trauma unit is full so we're going to have to prep him in here.
At what point did you become aware of the patient's identity? You're asking when did I know he was the perpetrator of the attack? That's correct.
Excuse me, this waits until he is out of surgery.
I doubt he'll last that long.
That doesn't matter.
We need an ID as soon as we can.
So this is him? He lives, he dies, we'll be right here.
Did knowing what the patient had done affect your work at all? The bullet entered below his right mandible and exited above his left eye socket.
He was beyond saving.
You are not going to find any terrorists down there, bro.
Stop fidgeting.
I just don't see why I can't do it.
Oi.
Believe it or not, it's no picnic for me either.
Hold still.
All right.
The mic's behind your zipper.
If you need a slash, be careful.
I feel like I've got "snitch" just tattooed on my forehead.
Nobody's going to be patting you down at a funeral.
You really think this big-shot guy is going to show up for the salat? We won't know if we're not there, will we? All we do know is Yousef's dead, and someone killed him.
I'm swimming in this thing.
It ain't a fashion show.
Our camera is in this top button.
Anyone you meet, get their full names.
Repeat it nice and clear.
Try to stand about arm's length back.
This is so dirty.
Spying at a Janazah.
Well, the way I see it, we're looking for the fella who killed the fella getting buried.
It evens out.
Not if this big shot finds me wearing a wire.
- Then don't get caught.
- Hm.
Names and faces.
That's all I need.
CHANTING Strong turnout today.
Your brother was obviously some dude.
If what you believe is to get into Jannah and that.
We take allcomers.
What are you wearing? For real.
You look like you're going to sell me a mattress.
Nah, it's my dad's.
Best I could do.
Cut Waleed, how are you holding up, bruv? Erm W-what's Cut even short for anyway, like, what's .
.
what's your full name? Why are you going around asking people's names, fam? My name means you're liable to get cut.
You know, we call him that cos his dad never paid bills.
Leccy was always getting cut.
Bruv, that was, like, one time.
Hey, come.
Having food back at mine.
Listen to a bunch of strangers tell me about Yousef.
- Salaam-alaikum.
- Wa-alaikum-salaam.
Yeah, it's good to see the ummah out in full force.
It's a beautiful thing, innit? Are we going back to yours, bruv? Nah, just friends and family, innit? It's a long walk for you, though.
Long.
Take care of yourself, yeah? Look after yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Oh, that was beautiful.
- Bless.
Beautiful.
Thank you.
- Peace.
- Thanks.
Sorry, fellas.
I didn't meet you all.
I'm Raza Shar.
Hey, sorry to interrupt you guys.
I'm Raza.
- What's going on? You good? - Good.
Yeah, yeah, Raza.
Yeah, I met you one time, man.
Yeah, yeah.
What's your name again? Levi.
Yeah, Levi.
- Is that Levi? - Levi.
Just Levi.
INDISTINCT CHATTER HE SNIFFS Dadir, right? Roxy.
I was, erm .
.
I was friends with your brother.
Yeah? Listen, I'm really sorry Yeah, yeah, OK.
All right.
Thanks.
I was thinking maybe we could talk.
About Yousef? It's what we're all here for, innit? Maybe WE could talk, me and you.
Join the back of the queue.
Yousef was sharking all over.
All them girls had their hands out.
I ain't got nothing for you.
That's not what I'm here for.
You shouldn't come begging at his funeral.
This is some low-end shit.
Rizla, you seeing this? My brother's dead.
Skank bank's closed.
Move on with your life.
You should probably come back another time.
- Caught him on a bad day.
- Don't worry.
I won't come back.
Oh, OK.
What What was your name again? Sorry, mate.
Say hello to the family for me.
- Raza, love, there you are.
- What are you doing here?! I've come to pay my respects.
Read about it in the local.
You never told me nothing about Dadir's brother passing.
This is friends and family.
You can't be here.
Mad.
Whole Shar clan here now, yeah? I forgot my keys.
My dad just Keys? What are you blathering about? Come here.
You all right, then? You're all right, love.
Yeah, I'm all right.
Thanks for asking, Mr Shar.
Hey! None of this "mister".
It's Hanif to you, OK? Come.
Come meet my mum.
- I don't think I'm dressed for that.
- Yeah, no, maybe another time.
What do you mean? Just give him his jacket back.
He'll look suave.
That's not my jacket.
Of course it is.
I got it from your wardrobe.
All right.
Give it over, then.
I'm good.
Well, is it your jacket or is it my jacket? Just give him his jacket.
Take your time.
Easy.
- I know how to put on a jacket.
- I know, yeah.
I must have been a thinner man! Ha-ha! So, your brother.
Devout sort, was he? Well, I mean In that case .
.
I brought him a gift.
Mr Shar, you're a bad man, you know that? THEY CHUCKLE - Come on.
Let's drink this for Yousef.
- All right.
Come on.
It's what he would have wanted.
- # I kissed my girl - I kissed my girl - # By the factory wall - By the factory wall - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town Clouds are drifting WOMAN: Keep it down, would ya?! I'm going to call the police! Hey, be quiet, you big pussycat! # Springs a girl - # From the streets at night - From the streets at night - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town I heard a sigh We've got to get home.
Ummi keeps texting me.
- We've got to leave.
- Come on.
- Feel the rhythm! - Let's go.
- Last chance! - I spawned such a killjoy! Shut it down or I'm going to call the police! - Keep it going till dawn if you have to, boys! - Oh shut up! Come on.
Let's go.
I'm going, I'm going! Dadir! Hey! Hey! Let me say goodnight.
- Dadir, hey! - Abu, no.
Apologies, bruv.
A few too many.
I'm just trying to get him home.
Sorry, I'm Raza.
You're talking to people about me? Yeah, Rizla, maybe not now, yeah? Not now.
Put away your hand before I cut it off.
Hey, that's my son you're talking to, all right? All right, Abu.
We probably should get home.
Listen to your boy, old man.
Who are you calling "old man", eh? - Eh? - Hey, hey! Wait! Wait! SIRENS WAIL You called the police? - # Dirty old town - Dirty old town Dirty old town Oh, you got pace on you, love.
HE PANTS AND COUGHS I ain't had to run from the Old Bill like that since my stag do.
You're not going to have a heart attack on me, are you? HE COUGHS I've got to have a tinkle.
THEY HUM A TUNE I don't think this is mine.
How was the funeral? You tell me.
All right, let's start again.
Did you meet anyone interesting? You ever been to a funeral before? It's mostly just a lot of sad people, innit? All right, there was this one dude, but he got real sketchy when I tried talking to him.
Right.
You get a name? I tried.
Well, you've got to try harder.
Have you got any info about him? Eastern European.
Drove a white van.
You need to get Dadir to introduce you.
OK.
How am I doing that? There's this fish, the pilot fish.
Everyone in the ocean steers clear of the shark, but the pilot fish doesn't have to.
It sits there, right there under the shark's fin.
It goes wherever the shark goes, sees whatever the sharks sees.
They trust each other so much that this ballsy little fucker eats the leftovers right out of the shark's mouth.
What are you on about? Why do you sound like David Attenborough? You stick to Dadir, he'll get you there.
The fella with the white van, get me a name.
What are you doing? Nothing.
Where's Raza keep his ciggies? I know he hides them from me.
No, I hide them from you.
You don't, do you? Hanif, what are you actually looking for? I don't know.
Do you want to know his secret hiding spot? He thinks he's so bloody smart.
Who puts a beanbag on the balcony? Look.
- DOOR OPENS - That's not what I'm looking for.
DISTANT VOICE That'll be the boys.
Put it back, put it back! I'll keep them busy.
Hand to God, whatever's in that tin, nothing to do with me, Mr Shar.
I believe you, Karl.
Millions wouldn't, but I do.
Well, I'm touched, mate.
I do have a question for a man in your profession.
Ask away.
- This mate of mine - Right.
.
.
comes round the pub the other day.
We're all just talking, nothing special.
Bunch of old lefties.
Anyway, I notice he's got a little camera on his jacket.
That ain't a mate, that's a snitch.
Hang on, I haven't told the whole story.
Well, what's to know? Your mate is a snitch.
You should do him.
I've known him a long time.
Don't matter how long you've been friendly with a snake.
It's still prone to bite you, innit? Geezer at the shop said that's the best one for wannabe paparazzo.
Sound.
What is this? Leica? I don't know what they call it.
Whatever it is, it ain't cheap.
Why are you trying to bribe me? What do you want? Your brother bought you a nice present.
How about a thank-you? OK, thank you.
Where did you get the money for that, then? Nowhere.
Just got my overtime, didn't I? So when do I get my bloody gift, then, huh? Source 9 put in a good shift at the funeral.
One of these faces might be Yousef's connection to El Adoua.
Crosscheck names with the watchlist.
If you don't have a name, work the snouts, find one.
We know this one, don't we? Oh, Christ.
That's Akash Williams.
He's a keyboard jihadi.
Popped up on a GCHQ watchlist.
I looked in on him last year.
His online profile is sympathetic to the cause.
El Adoua comes through London, never sets foot on public transport, no phone calls, all cash transactions.
That's tradecraft.
This guy, Akash, failed all his GCSEs and he lives with his grandma and grandad.
I think our big shot is a touch more sophisticated than that, darling.
Well, we still have to rule him out.
That's my spot at the grill.
The driver.
The white van, that's him.
OK.
I thought MIT ruled out the owner already? The registered owner.
Some 87-year-old with vascular dementia.
Someone clearly registered the van in his name.
Well, let's prioritise getting him ID'd.
My snout's working Yousef's brother.
Holly, let's knock Akash off the list.
OK.
Also going to need that £50 registration fee, brother.
What do you need my dad's number for? The guy is useless.
Just put down your mate Dadir if you want.
I don't actually care.
It's just an emergency contact in case you get knocked out.
Right, doors are nine to nine, and I'm not a laundry service, so bring your own towel, OK? Bro, I've got two rules, man.
No wankers, no phones.
- Fine by me.
- Right, cool.
We're going to start you off on the ropes, yeah? Just, er, come this way.
So, we warm up over here and the changing rooms are over there.
That's where the toilets are as well.
"Never trust non-Muslims.
" "Mujahideen strategies.
" "Can Kafir be family?" Disgusting! Akash, how can your nan not be your family? Feeds you three beautiful halal meals every day, doesn't she!? David! Blood pressure! If you continue to post these on your socials, sooner or later I don't do nothing.
I'm just sharing.
That can be enough.
And it won't be us here knocking at your door, it'll be armed units coming here to arrest you.
That bleeding-heart social worker what's supposed to help, all she did were have us cancel t'internet.
It's called Prevent.
All it's preventing is Trisha from Skyping at her sister.
Now she's got to go all the way down to the cafe to get online.
We're at the end of a very bloody long rope here.
Do you mind if we step out for a minute? It might be better if we talk to Akash alone.
You know we're more than fair with him.
I don't doubt it, we just need five minutes.
Through there.
Who's this cheeky chappie? Your dad's still in Brum, is he? Do you see him much? No-one wants to go to Brum.
He didn't hang about, did he, after your mum died? What would you know about my mum? I knew she wouldn't want this situation for you.
I read that nonsense you post online.
Now that I've met you, you seem like an all right bloke.
Grandparents are sweet enough for a couple of geezers.
Sweeter than mine, I'll tell you that much.
So, what is it, Akash? What gets you so wound up? Not me.
Koran, innit? "Slay them where you find them.
" That's actually a mistranslation, it's "fight them where they fight you.
" It says what it says.
I didn't write it.
It's about self-defence.
Next verse says QUOTES VERSE IN ARABIC You might have known it better if you didn't get kicked out your mosque.
I didn't get kicked out.
That imam's working for the CIA.
They're all CIA there.
But yous know all about that.
He's on the payroll, don't lie.
I've been approached, like, four times, you know.
Tap on the shoulder, innit? And what did they ask of you? Top-secret stuff, probably.
Who approached you? What did they look like? It was this guy, well, they They? So it was two people that approached you? Their names? Jamie and Steve.
The CIA gave you their names? Really? So, who's Jamie and Steve? Or have you got it confused? - No, I'm not confused.
- You sound confused.
- There was one or two of them? - Doesn't matter how many.
- And their names were Jason and Simon? - No, I said Jamie and Simon.
You said Jamie and Steve.
- Well, I forgot! - They said they were MI6? No, I said CIA.
MI6 or CIA? - Doesn't matter, does it?! - Why don't you go to Brum, Kash? Cos he doesn't want to fucking see me, does he?! Count to ten when you get angry.
You've heard that one, I bet.
Eh? Thing is, when I get angry, numbers escape me.
Before I know it, Mr Hyde's on the prowl again.
You've got to learn to control it.
Here, here's a little trick I learned.
There.
Just look at the timer and breathe.
Just breathe.
You don't want us to come back here.
INDISTINCT CHATTER PHONE CHIMES Got an alert from the OP.
The Albanians are back.
Let's get over there.
Foxtrot 1 to control.
We have a subject moving south on Aston, over.
RADIO: Roger that, Foxtrot 1.
Do you require assistance? Negative.
We're four lengths back, we don't expect to engage, over.
Roger that.
What's going on tonight? I promise I'll leave my dad at home this time.
You're lucky the feds showed up.
Mandem was about to get active.
Yeah, who was that dude? You don't want to know.
So, what are you saying, then? Meet up in a bit? All right, yeah, cool.
Next time, man.
Who were you talking to? Don't worry about it.
Go back to sleep.
RADIO: Go ahead, Foxtrot.
Yeah, I need background on the old ballroom on Barking Road.
See whose name's on the deed, purchase history, - whatever you've got.
- Roger that.
Guys, you're late.
What's your ETA? RADIO: Difficult to say.
Traffic's rough.
Can't you just throw on your blues and twos? Can't be having that.
Discretion is of the utmost importance.
Sorry, we're wasting away here.
LAUGHTER - Look at that, traffic cleared up! - Bastards.
Red building, subject entered three hours ago.
Hope you've brought a book.
So ballroom's owned by DDLM Consulting.
It's listed on the Kosovo Chamber of Commerce as an accounting firm.
It's a shell.
Board members' names are probably all picked off tombstones.
Well, we should still put a call in.
Charlie! Fucking hell, how are you? Ey up, lad.
Fucking hell.
Nigel! I didn't recognise you, mate.
Well, you know, time gets every man.
You an' all.
I thought you was off in the states, California? No, I'm down in Florida, mate, near Disneyland, yeah.
Fucking Mickey Mouse, innit? Well, done nowt for the tan, I see, huh? Has this lovely thing got a name? Holly.
Hi.
Nigel Briggs, at your service.
Yeah, we're working on a construction bid, so hopefully we'll be over here a lot more now.
How is it toiling for this one, eh? He's a right maniac, as I know him.
He's not so bad, as long as he remembers to count to ten.
Sounds about right, eh? Have you heard Skittles bollocksed it with her parole board? Hey, what the fuck do they know? There's always next year, eh? How do you two know each other? You don't want us to get into that, you know.
Too blue for your precious ears.
What are you doing down here, anyway? I thought you said you'd never set foot in London.
Ah, I fucked right off, you know? I still stay out the PC swamp as far as I can.
But, you know, when duty calls.
Master of disaster, eh? Sharon said you'd matured.
I thought like old cheese, you know, not like fine wine.
Hey, come on, you're not so bad yourself, mate.
Clean as a cat's mouth, me.
- Seven year, now.
- No way? That's great, mate.
Are you still bumping into Sharon, then? Aye, now and again, now and again.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey, she'd kill me if I didn't snap the old selfie.
Yeah, yeah, come on.
Ha-ha, hey.
Sorted.
Nice one.
Hey, listen, I'd love to glory-days it with you, but, you know, I've got a load that won't wait on me, so Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hey, it's been special bumping into you.
- Aye, aye.
If I ever catch word you've been in that Legion, drinking without me, there'll be hell to pay.
You'll not lose any sleep on that.
All right.
See you around.
WHISPERS: Fucking hell.
MUTTERS: Yeah, yeah Yeah.
Justjust have to be careful.
PHONE RINGS Yes, Rizla, what is it? Just going to hit the pad.
Do you want to come? Nah, man, I've got something going.
- Yeah? What's that? - Blud, you're nosy.
Why you always ask me questions? Nah, I'm just looking for something to do.
Yeah? Yeah, I can come by.
Now? Yeah, for what? What are we doing? All right, I get it.
No questions.
Yeah, all right.
Yeah, bring a helmet.
Bye.
Why you spying on me, weirdo? Why are you spending 100 quid on a pair of shoes? Gora wedding, innit? Can't exactly rock up in a pair of fake creps.
- Who's getting married? - No-one you know.
- See you later.
- Where you going? - Out.
- But where, though? Are you going to see your girlfriend? Mind your own business, perv.
Hey.
Hey.
I wanted to explain something about last night.
He was a contact from your UC work? Yeah.
Yeah, and there's protocol, you know.
I'm supposed to report any interaction with anyone from that time.
It's a whole song and dance.
I'd appreciate it if you left this out of your duty statement.
You don't write these up normally? I've never had to.
I've never had a run-in before.
What about Was it Sharon, he mentioned? Yeah.
It was ten years ago.
You know, just after the case.
I'd rather leave it in.
I'm still trying to get on Rose's good side.
It's only a duty statement.
Anything I say will speak to how well you kept your cover.
Yeah.
You never lose it.
That's the training.
First thing they teach you is how to carry yourself.
See you, when you walk, you lead with your toes.
Doesn't everyone? When I was a kid, my dad always told me to stand up straight.
So I lead with my chest.
But Charlie, it's down here in the hips.
And there's other things you can do, you know, hair, clothes.
Everyone's got a different way of reaching out to the world.
Touching it.
Go on, take it.
Oh, she's a grabber.
What about Charlie? Charlie? Oh, he's a squeezer.
See, the problem is, when you're the lie, it's hard to know which part of you is the truth.
And that's the burden.
It's your call.
Better hit the road.
Well, either way, no good to anyone dead.
What time do you call this, Rizla? It's now.
- Whatever, man.
- So, where we going? Yo! You going to throw it over or you just going to stand there like a mug? You live on this estate? No.
No? You got people here? No, I don't think so.
So what you doing here, then, man? Huh? HE SCOFFS Chill, don't piss yourself, man.
- Get off me.
- Shut up, man.
- Give that back, bruv.
- Really? It's ancient, bruv.
Oi! You could have smashed my nan's window! Knob off.
Go on! You dickhead! Piss off! You'd better run! - Are you buddy-buddy with them? - I'm just trying to find my brother.
Yeah? Who's your brother? You don't know him.
Raza.
I've seen him, yeah.
Raza's my homie.
Bro! He's a total legend.
That's nice.
You taking photos with it? Yeah, that's what you do with a camera.
I've got a pro camera at home.
Telephoto.
It holds, like, 1,000 gigs.
1,000 gigs? Bruv, does that even exist? How many gigs does that store, then, bro? Not even one.
Think about that.
OK.
I'm going to go home.
Come on, bro.
They don't mess with me.
Do you like cars? - Yeah, depends which one.
- Hmm.
Pussies.
KNOCKS ON DOOR What are you doing? Wait here.
I don't even know where here is.
Here's here, innit? Just keep an eye out.
For what? You've got eyes, haven't you? Bad shit coming my way, just .
.
honk the horn or something.
DOOR BUZZES PHONE VIBRATES What you waiting for? Get in there.
What are you on about? - I said, get in there.
- Are you following me? Maybe.
Seriously, stop messing with me.
Are you here? - Flash him the lights.
- Are you here? Bruv, where are you? I'm right behind you.
See me? Oh, what are you doing here? I'm waiting for you to get your arse in there.
Go on, pile of fish! You sure it's safe in there? He'll be all right.
Try the other door.
Go on.
There he is.
Told you.
Boy's a natural.
Hello? Yo, Dadir? Oh, my Rizla, what are you doing in here?! Hey, I know this one.
This is your guy with the old man.
Enough! This is your friend? Yeah, no, what it is, I told him to wait outside.
This is not outside.
Perhaps he's not your friend.
No, no, Mr Gramos, it's not like that.
You see I - GUN CLICKS - Shh-shh-shh-shh.
Your shirt and jeans.
Your clothes, off.
RAZA BREATHES SHAKILY Have you been running? Hm? What's your name? Raza.
Raza Shar.
Raza Shar.
India? Bangladesh? Pakistan? Pakistani.
Kashmiri? Punjabi? Urdu? Urdu.
I want you to be honest with me now.
Why are you in my house? Dadir said to watch his back.
There's a surveillance van parked across the street.
I thought you should know.
How you know this? Plumbing van.
I saw this geezer get inside.
He hasn't moved.
Rizla's a chess master, Mr Gramos.
Trust.
THEY SPEAK IN OTHER LANGUAGE THEY SPEAK IN OTHER LANGUAGE Get dressed.
Raza Shar.
Chess master! HE COUGHS - Who'd you meet behind that door? - Your big shot, dude.
How do you know it was him? I don't know, cos he acted like a general all-round big shot, like, stripped me down, had a machinegun at my face.
That's good.
Tell me about him.
That's good? Are you serious? It's all a matter of perspective.
- Yeah, thanks, bruv.
- I'm not your bruv.
I'm not here to catch your feelings.
You're in the back of my car for one reason.
Information.
The fellow with the machinegun, tell me about him.
Dadir called him Mr Gramos.
He's old, like, older-than-you old.
He's Albanian.
What makes him Albanian? They had the flag up, you know, the bird.
What else? He's waving a machinegun around.
What else do you need to know? I was doing what you told me to.
Apparently that's all I ever do.
Pilot fish - go where the shark goes.
Guess where the shark leads you? Bigger fuckin' sharks! I got you your big shot, dude.
When are you going to arrest him? Soon, maybe.
No more soon.
Now.
I want out now! When I say soon, it's soon.
When I say now, it's now.
And when I say talk, you talk.
I promise you, there's no bigger shark down here than me.
I want more, then.
I want my mum to be British, on paper.
You can do that, right? I can help, but you're going to have to earn it.
I just stood out in front of the Albanian massif with a gun at my head and my flopper hanging out.
What else can I give you? Hey.
You survived.
That's the hardest part.
PHONE CHIMES Hello? WOMAN: Excuse me, who's this? Why do you have my husband's phone? I-I don't know your husband.
I found this in a taxi.
The driver looked shifty so I didn't want to leave it with him.
- Oh, sorry - TRAILS OFF Yeah, it's, erm, it's early.
Can we do this later? I'm sorry.
Sorry about the call.
It's not Well, I mean, it is, but Thanks for covering.
Oh, thanks.
Good luck with your wife.
We don't need to shake on it, mate.
Right.
DOOR CLOSES That bloke was married? - How long have you been up? - He has a wife.
Don't look at me like that.
It's not like he advertised it on his profile.
Holls, if there's one thing we both know for certain it's that all men lie.
They sweat lies, they shit lies.
- Hmm.
- If a man is talking, it's a lie.
FRIDGE OPENS, RATTLING CHANTING: Action 14! Action 14! Action 14! I've got this genius system, you know.
I call the lady at the skip company and she tells me whether they've been hired out by any car shops or mechanics and that.
Bro, bro, come here! Yes! As if! - You see that, yeah? - Yeah.
That'll cost you 500 to fit in at a scrapyard, you know.
- Feel that.
- Oh, it's heavy.
- It is, innit? - Yeah.
Let me get a picture.
Tilt it, bro.
All I'm getting is glare.
You're going to eat up my data.
Why can't we use your phone? I'm not supposed to use the internet, innit? VIDEO: Tighten up the nuts and the bolts Hey, Akash.
You nicked me tools again? No.
What are you talking about? I'm talking about me spanners.
And who's this young man? My friend, Nas.
Hiya.
I'm helping with the car.
If that jalopy ever gets running again, you two lads can take me and his nan down t'boozer, can't you, eh? HE CHUCKLES So, what? Your dad's a gora, then? No way! The old git's my mum's dad.
Kafir bastard.
Why are you so tense? - Lean back.
- I'm not tense.
The water's too hot.
Oh, you're always so fussy.
You always run the water too hot.
Kills the head lice.
You've been saying that same joke since I can remember.
So, what are you so worried about? - Me? - Mm-hm.
Nothing.
This wedding.
Do her parents know you're Asian? Well, they put my name on the seating chart.
If they ain't cracked the case by now, they're never going to.
SHE CHUCKLES You know, when I first came here, I went out with a gora.
A rugby player.
This one time, we met his mother.
I don't know why, I started speaking with a proper English accent.
hello, ma'am, your son is so splendid! "Lovely weather we're having!" So I had to just dump this rugby player just to save myself from the bloody accent.
So you just be you, huh? Let everybody at this wedding see.
My boy's a fucking superstar, hm? Boom! SHE CHUCKLES DISTANT CHORAL SINGING You all right, love? She wants a word with you.
Mr Briggs? Holly.
We met the other day.
Yeah, I got your message.
If I had owt to say, I would have called you back.
Right.
I was hoping we could talk for a minute, regarding Charlie.
Didn't I say? I got your message.
Have I upset you somehow? You can tell Charlie, I ain't said nowt, I ain't done nowt.
I daren't even think nowt.
Right, well, I'm not here FOR Charlie, but I am here ABOUT Charlie.
As he mentioned, we might be going into business together.
This is just due diligence.
Clearly you two have a long history.
Yeah, yeah, history all right, yeah.
I've done my time.
Five years, three months, 17 days.
And what life I've got left, I clawed together, but that's the lot I got.
I'm grateful for it.
I'm not here to disturb that.
Well, then, you'll be on your way.
I noticed you drive a lorry now.
Must be nice, being on the road after a time inside.
Five years, three months, 17 days.
Does that count as a spent conviction? Pretty sure anything above four years you have to declare to your employer.
Or am I wrong? Mardy Charlie, huh? One glimpse and I get back in quicksand again, huh? There's no harm in answering a few questions.
Well, then, you don't know him, do you? I'd steer a lifetime away from that man, if I were you.
There's some of God's creatures you don't see coming.
How's that? No, it's too tight.
They're supposed to be tight.
You don't want them flying off when you're barrelling down on goal, do you? - Where did you say her shin pads were? - They're already in the car.
PHONE VIBRATES Right, come on.
- I've got to take this.
- Yeah, we'll be in the car.
MAN: This is Redwood Virtual Office, Orlando.
He's coming, he's coming.
Just be a minute.
We have an incoming call for Charlie Goodman - from - SHARON: It's Sharon.
To accept the call, press one.
To forward to voicemail Hello, stranger.
Charlie, I'm confused.
How are you back in Florida already? Have you spoken to Nigel? Hey, listen.
I wasn't there for long.
- It was just a flying visit.
- Oh, OK.
I barely had time to unpack, let alone make it up north.
Please can you turn on the hot air, Mum? Sharon? Charlie, you promised me when you're on this side of the ocean, you're mine, but if I hear you're in the country and not dropping in on the Legion, how am I not going to be on the fucking warpath? Are you there, Charlie? Hello? Mummy? That woman said a bad word.
Yeah, it's just the radio.
Not losing you for another Saturday, are we? Did I say anything about going in? I've got a lot of money riding on this match.
Are you ready to win? Ole, ole, ole, ole! Go on! BOTH: # Ole, ole! HONKS HORN # Ole, ole! Ole! Keep it up! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Lovely.
MUSIC: The Look of Love by ABC Hello.
Hello, honey.
Dad wants you to join his pub team, apparently.
Of course he does.
I'm a trivia machine.
The bar's empty.
Better make my move.
You can't still be nervous? It's more your mum I'm wary of.
No lie, she was kind of giving me the vibe.
You're so full of shit.
You, me, next song.
Can I get a Jack and Coke? Sorry about that, bruv.
I get it.
- I can't stand that shit, neither.
- Won't get any better.
We'll be doing the Macarena by midnight! Jack and Coke, if you don't mind.
Room stash.
12 years.
Don't be telling no-one, though.
Oh, no, no.
Don't worry, bro.
That's for them, innit? - Be easy, bruv.
- Bless.
# Dizzy # I'm so dizzy # My head is spinning # Like a whirlpool, it never ends # And it's you, girl, making it spin # You're making me dizzy # My head is spinning # Like a whirlpool, it never ends # And it's you, girl, making it spin You're making me dizzy CHILDREN SHOUT TO EACH OTHER Here you are.
Has she scored yet? Um, she hit the ball once.
I don't think it went where she intended.
She'll get better in the second half.
Yeah.
Who's Charlie? Is that one of Lori's friends? It's not a trick question, Gabe.
Why don't you answer it, then? I heard it in the car.
Lori heard it.
I never ask you about who calls you in the middle of the night, weekends.
I don't ask about where you go, who you see.
I know you can't talk about your work, but there is one person, whenever they call you, I can tell.
It shakes you.
Sets you off-kilter somehow.
I don't know, I can't put my finger on it.
At least I've got a name now.
Charlie.
It's just a name.
Doesn't mean anything.
It's the name I use to keep the unsavouries far from here, from you and Lori.
PHONE VIBRATES But not too far.
MUSIC: Macarena by Los del Rio Can I bum one? - Thanks, bruv.
- Cheers, bruv.
You must be psychic.
It's not even midnight.
Bruv, I've done a thousand weddings.
Someone's going to throw up, someone's going to fight, someone's going to fuck, and everyone does the Macarena.
It's always the same shit.
All right.
Tell me who's going to fuck.
All right.
Him, pink tie, and, er, her, blue dress.
You sure about that? - No doubt.
- Why you saying that? Posh girls all got a type.
Don't like me or you.
They like that pussy-o.
That's funny, cos she's my girl.
- For real? - Hmm.
Oh, my bad, bruv.
Relax, bruv.
You got your girl, it's all good.
Yeah, but I ain't saying it's all good.
You're talking about, she's going to get with someone else.
No, no.
Say what you mean.
I already said it.
You know I didn't mean it.
You meant it, it's OK.
Say it.
What the fuck is your problem? WOMEN GASP AND SCREAM Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Raza, stop! - Come on! - What the hell are you doing?! Raza, poor form, man! What's come over you? Get him some water.
- Charlotte! - Idiot! Ugh, I'm so sorry.
This train is for Bank.
The next station is Island Gardens.
When leaving the train, please take all your belongings with you.
Your ummi's had a chamomile.
She won't wake for elephants.
Sit down.
I need to sleep, Abu.
I'm beat.
Raza, love, do you know what you're getting yourself into? Bed, hopefully.
What are you on about? You, working for the police! That's mental.
Where did you hear that? I didn't hear it.
I seen the camera in your jacket, didn't I? Whatever you're doing, you have to stop.
It's too dangerous.
What do you know about dangerous? I'm your father.
I protect you.
I protect this whole family.
Since when? Since? Since I cut your bloody umbilical cord, that's when! - Smarty-arse! - You can have a round of applause, then.
I'm surprised they let you near a pair of scissors.
Or did you find the decency to put your beers down for two ticks while your sons were born? Fuck me, bruv.
I protect this family.
It's on me now.
Go back to sleep.
# I found my love # By the gasworks croft # Dreamed a dream # By the old canal # Kissed my boy # By the factory wall # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # Clouds are drifting across the moon # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # I'm going to take me a good sharp axe # Shining steel tempered in the fire # Cut you down like an old, dead tree # Dirty old town # Dirty old town # Dirty old town Dirty old town.