Joan (2024) s01e03 Episode Script
Episode 3
1
Gary, what the hell did you do?!
So, you've just been made homeless,
and you want to place your daughter
in emergency care?
Come here.
Don't go, Mummy, please don't go.
'I love my daughter so much.
'I fully intend on getting a job
and a place of my own to support us.
'I just need a chance.'
- If I did have something to sell?
- What?
Some stones, loose.
How'd you get them out?
'Grabbed them from the safe.
Necked 'em, walked.
'So, can you sell them for me?'
'Might take a few weeks.'
Right, I need cash now.
Would you do a bit more work, then?
'So, what am I nicking?'
'Clothes, designer gear, luggage.'
'But I wanna nick jewels, not
shoplift with a dodgy chequebook.'
'All in good time.'
'I'm only doing this one job.'
Once you nick the gear,
we're going to Spain tomorrow.
Spain?
'We need to courier some jewellery.
'My mate Albie sells it out in Spain
'where the pigs
aren't looking for it.
'We take it over,
he pays us on delivery.'
'So you want me to take it
on the plane,
'bear all the risk?'
So, we'll swing by his club.
'You need to act dumb
around his missus.'
Business and pleasure
all in one cute, little package.
Yeah, no,
I reckon we'll make a good team.
I found out your ex did a job for me
back in the day.
You've spoken to Gary?
Says you was a right nightmare.
Ran off with his kid.
Gary's a bloody liar.
When am I coming home?
It won't be long now, I promise.
Our only concern
is for Kelly's welfare.
I'm afraid we think
that she's better off where she is.
I need money. I mean "money" money.
Know what I mean?
Yeah, I reckon I do.
# 'The Lovecats'
by The Cure
- Today's special.
- Thank you.
So, what's the set-up?
It's perfect.
The house is miles from anywhere.
Crap security, no window locks.
We'll wait till it gets dark
and break in.
Oil's halfway up the stairs.
- It's definitely a real Stubbs?
- Classic. Worth thousands.
Enough to buy me and Kelly
a new home with a garden?
Oh, a mansion,
with a butler thrown in.
- So, what about the owner?
- Woman. Lives on her own.
Drinks a lot, according to Hugo.
- Your man at the auction house?
- Yeah.
- When did he value it?
- This morning.
She was already half-cut.
Why?
Hard life when you're filthy rich.
No, no, I mean why get it valued?
I dunno, probably insurance.
Or she's planning to sell it.
Your point?
Well, I mean,
if she's already got a legit buyer,
they'll come looking for it
when it goes.
It's much harder for us to sell on.
No, we'd have to hold on to it
for a while anyway.
Well, I don't want to hold on
to it for a while.
I need cash now.
To set myself up for Kelly.
Right, we'll go back to London now,
get Jim Cho to knock up a sham.
Come back.
I'll find a way in by day,
let you in at night.
Swap the pictures.
No-one will know it's gone.
We can sell it on straight away.
I was out walking. I was
I was out I was out walking.
I was out walking.
Get down! Who is it?
Sorry to disturb. Er, I need help.
I don't open the door to strangers.
Well, I've twisted my ankle.
I was out walking.
If If I could just use
your telephone and call a friend?
It's getting dark.
I don't know what I was thinking,
setting off alone.
And then I turned my ankle
on a stile and
Get back!
Oh, you're obviously
a long way from home.
I just I need a pick-me-up.
Well, I could open some brandy.
Of course, if I could afford
to heat this bastard place,
I wouldn't need it.
It's a beautiful house.
It was, before my husband walked
out, left me with all the bills.
Fuck-face.
Sounds familiar.
Can't believe that anyone would
abandon a little poppet like you.
You'd be surprised.
Another woman?
He packed a bag
and said he was "going on the run."
Classic.
I know. Fuck-face!
Shush!
Shush! You'll get your sausage.
He'll be back soon enough.
Tail between his legs
with a peace offering.
Bottle of gin or something.
But don't let him back in!
I won't, I won't.
That's always been my problem.
Oh. Well, you've got a kind heart.
You'll stay the night.
Oh, thank you. That's very kind.
Mm.
Aw Your daughter?
Married a Kiwi last year.
Buggered off
to the other side of the world.
I'll see you for breakfast.
My friend needs to come early,
so I'll just slip out.
Everyone leaves me in the end.
Well, thank you for having me.
Good night.
Night.
Shh! Good boy.
Boo.
Shh!
Here, give him a sausage.
Why me?
You're the stranger.
We're fine for now.
I put that Valium in her nightcap.
OK.
Where's the sham?
It's in the van.
Let's get the real deal out first.
Oh, what a beauty.
1760, 1765
Come on, then.
Look at the detail.
Stop, stop, stop.
It's fine, it's fine.
Careful. Don't touch the oil.
- Shit.
- Henrietta?
Hen?
Forgive me. Hen?
Scream.
Out my way!
Put it down. Now!
Who are you? A friend of Hen's?
Go in the kitchen, call the police.
Out my fucking way.
Move.
Move, or I'll blow
your brains out!
Oh!
Don't fuck with me.
Fuck's sake! Get in!
You brought a gun?!
It's all right,
I wasn't gonna use it.
D'you think he'll call the police?
Yeah, course.
Just drive.
You're over-thinking it.
He was drunk.
He saw you for a second.
But I spent all evening with her.
You were in disguise,
and she doesn't know your name.
She's got no means of tracing you.
Well, she'd get me in a line-up.
A line-up?!
Well, it's all right for you.
You had a balaclava on.
Yeah, to make you the victim,
protect you.
Protect me? You pulled out a gun!
You turned it
into an aggravated assault.
I wasn't gonna use it.
I don't care.
What was I supposed to do, Joanie?
Follow me upstairs.
Run out the back, like I did.
Without this?
Yeah, without the painting.
It's not like we can sell it now.
I'm taking it to the warehouse.
Order a Chinese.
Be back in an hour.
But I wanna come with you.
Let me come with you.
Sorry, Joanie.
So, I graft for you all day,
put my neck on the line,
and you don't fucking care?
You can't just shut me out!
Fuck you.
What can I do you for?
Selling stones.
Loose?
Mm-hm.
Who sent you?
No-one.
Well, who are you?
Joan.
Joan who?
You interested or not?
Where'd you get them from, Joan?
Does it matter?
Well, it should to you, darling.
You've been royally done. Cut glass.
I can see it from here.
Serious?
Mm-hm.
What you doing?
Might as well chuck them, then.
No, no, no. Look.
Let me take another look.
I might be able
to give you a few quid.
It's all right. I think
they're worth more than that.
You never told me
where you got them from.
I'm not going to.
Mm.
Then I'd better keep hold of them.
Call my mate down the cop shop.
They're only worth something
if you know how to sell them!
Stupid cow.
Enjoy.
# 'Nocturnes Op.9, No.2'
by Chopin
Same again, without the veg.
Would you let me buy this?
No, I wouldn't.
She never accepts drinks
off strange men.
Of all the gin joints
How did you find me?
I never buy what I can steal.
This came. From social services.
They want to visit.
Check out the suitability
of my new living arrangements.
So come back.
You've gotta let me in, Boisie.
I mean, men have been
pushing me around my whole life,
keeping things from me.
I won't have it any more.
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
I'm not a grass.
Never have been.
Key's in the glove box.
George IV. It's mahogany.
Here you are.
Look at the craftsmanship here.
How beautiful.
Mm.
Wow.
Never seen you so happy.
I had nothing as a kid.
Me neither.
Not a bean.
Yeah, not just
..stuff. I mean
no family.
My mum
I get it.
My dad beat me.
A lot.
What did she do?
Erm
She chose her fella over me,
gave me away when I was a kid.
Then one day,
she said I could come back.
That's good.
Yeah.
So they could claim
family allowance.
Five shillings a week.
25 pence?
Least I knew what I was worth.
They'll be safe here.
Choose something.
'Southernwell Social Services.
Good morning.'
Hello, it's Joan O'Connell again.
I-I'm still waiting for a visit
from the social worker.
Any idea when they're coming?
'I'll have to check
where you are on the list
'and get someone to call you back.'
But I've got my flat all ready.
'Yes, I appreciate that.'
I'm just I'm desperate
to get my little girl back.
'I'm sorry, but we are really busy
at the moment.'
OK.
Thank you.
'To get your motor
running smoothly,
'choose Becker type O grade,
'the finest engine oil
in the world.'
'When words are not enough.
'Fall in love with diamonds.'
'Sapphire Goldsmith's, London.'
Thanks.
- Can I help you, madam?
- Er, yeah. Coffee?
- Certainly, madam.
- Thank you.
- Show me the emperor again.
- Of course, madam.
Ah, we can always adjust it.
I'm in London again next week.
I can try it on then.
Absolutely.
If you send the car?
- To the Dorsington?
- Yes.
And I need the spec.
The carats, the cut, the mount.
My husband likes to know
what he's spending his money on.
Of course. I'll write it all down.
I've been thinking, Boisie.
Uh-oh.
If we can't sell the painting now
..I still need some money.
Oh, thanks.
Well, I'll sell something
from the warehouse
to get you some cash.
Mm-mm. No.
I wanna earn my own money.
So you can buy Kelly a horse?
Sorry, two horses.
I don't want her to ever wish
she was back at the Ashburys.
She won't.
I've seen a ring I wanna nick.
Worth 250 grand.
They won't even get the ring out of
the cabinet if they don't know you.
Unless I convince them
I'm a somebody.
An American. Loaded.
Dress up proper fancy,
drop in that I'm staying
at a posh hotel.
You know, string them along.
Tell them I need a spec made up
for my lover.
OK.
Take the spec up to Hatton Garden.
Get a sham made up.
So then when I return
to actually buy the ring
Swap it, walk out, sell it on.
Well, you don't need me at all.
I do. I need a sugar daddy
to come with me,
help me sell my character.
Come with you?
What, like your assistant?
I can't leave the shop.
No, sorry, Joan.
You'll forego 80 grand because
you won't close up for half a day?
Do you even want me to succeed?
As a thief or as a mother?
Boisie? Can you get it?
Might be the social.
Oh.
Hello, Joan.
It's you.
Nice to see you, too.
What are you doing here?
Val was getting sunspots.
And the rest.
So, back for good?
Joan.
No, that's fair. Let her quiz me
..if we're about to work together.
What do you mean? What's he said?
Can you act?
With you on my arm,
anything's possible.
Great (!)
Look, I'm happy to get involved.
But why don't you just do it
on your own?
I need help selling on.
The fence won't work
with someone new.
It's all planned out.
I've got the spec.
I know what I'm doing, Albie.
Hm. Well, I don't doubt that
for a minute.
Need a word with King, darling.
- King.
- What?
There's a bloke here to see you.
Once you've made the introduction,
I'll do the talking.
Er, no. King's the kind of geezer
who'd rather talk with a man.
Hello, mate.
Hello.
Didn't know
you was knocking round again.
Only so long you can lie on a beach,
know what I mean?
You should've told me
you was working for Albie.
I'm not. He's working for me.
Uh-huh (!) Working together, mate.
Er, we need a piece made up.
Not selling stones any more, then?
Sold them. You missed out.
What kind of piece?
It's my job. I've got the spec.
You need to get your trousers back,
mate.
Where did you get this from?
From the jeweller's.
I want an 18-carat four-claw mount
with the fake set in.
Made of?
Cubic zirconia.
It's got to match this exactly.
That's a lot of work.
It'll cost you.
You're gonna do it for free.
You mad cow. Hey, Joan, no
In return, you'll get the real deal
when I bring it back
the next day, OK?
Retail's 250 grand.
I want 80 in cash, unmarked notes.
80. And I want the sham ready
for Thursday.
Ooh!
Forget it.
Not the only bent jeweller
in Hatton Garden.
All right, all right. You're on.
You're on.
I'll do it.
How'd it go?
All right. Is he shaping up
as a good sugar daddy?
Well, he's not exactly
Sidney Poitier.
Oh, thanks (!)
Well, maybe Eddie Murphy
on a good day.
So, what's the set-up?
Er pick up the sham from King
on Thursday, go home, get changed.
Take the Tube to Heathrow,
pick up a black cab,
check in at the St James's Park
Hotel as Mrs Stephanie Sutherland.
- I have cases.
- No problem, madam. Thank you.
'Stay the night,
get prepared for the big day,
'get into character.'
Just wanted to say good luck.
- Go.
- Why?
Because I'm jet lagged.
Having a quiet night in
before I meet up
with my sugar daddy in the morning.
You love all this, don't you?
Dressing up.
Pretending.
Job satisfaction
isn't a crime.
But the rest of it is.
Just go.
So Albie's not staying?
Don't be ridiculous.
You know the story.
I'm meeting him in the shop.
All right.
Bye. Bye.
Hello.
Yes, I'll be straight down.
Yeah, checking out this afternoon.
Thank you. Bye.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Where the fuck did that go?
Morning.
- Mrs Sutherland.
- Thank you.
Hello, Mrs Sutherland.
Mrs Sutherland,
how lovely to see you again.
I trust the car arrived OK?
Thank you.
And how was your flight?
I think I picked up a cold.
You know, I can't get that
cute little ring out of my mind.
It's an exceptional piece.
I-I told my, er
my friend all about it.
Are we to expect him?
Well, I thought
that he'd be here already.
Maybe I could try it on again?
Of course.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It goes beautifully with your eyes.
Hello, sweetie.
Ah, I've been thinking
about you all night. Hm.
What do you think?
Oh.
It is stunning.
Isn't it?
And you really, really want it?
More than anything. Please?
Hm.
It's a very special piece, sir.
Totally unique, in fact.
Of course. I saw the spec.
And the price is very
Da-da-da-da.
Not in front of her, huh?
Let's talk.
It's not too much, is it?
Oh, for you, my love
it's a bargain.
Stephanie?
Oh, honey. We said we'd meet
at the restaurant.
You didn't need to come here.
Er Er Huh.
Steph and I just bumped into
each other.
We were friends in college.
Hi. Sorry.
James Sutherland.
He's always been the jealous type.
Uh-huh. Good to meet you, James.
Well
Let's go and get some lunch, hm?
Next time.
Thank you.
You could surprise her with it.
No. I don't think so.
My apologies.
Good work.
Thought you really were
a green-eyed monster for a minute.
Right, some of us
have still got work to do.
I'm off to King's.
Er, you want me to come with?
In case he's funny
about giving money to a lady.
Well, then he needs to learn.
I'll get you your 20% later.
Gonna need to keep her
on a tight rein.
# 'Sweet Dreams
(Are Made Of This)' By Eurythmics
I wouldn't have any work
if I ripped people off.
I always count the money.
Huh!
# Hold your head up
# Keep your head up
Movin' on
# Hold your head up
Movin' on
# Keep your head up
Movin' on
# Hold your head up
Movin' on
# Keep your head up
# Sweet dreams are made of this
# Who am I to disagree?
# I travelled the world
And the seven seas
# Everybody's looking for something
# Sweet dreams are made of this
# Who am I #
Albie barely sets foot
in the kitchen.
That's not true.
I know you can cook.
She is so bloody lucky.
Look What is this, Boise?
I bought a load of antiques
off this Russian geezer.
He threw in his record collection.
Did you make them from scratch?
Course I did, you stupid cow.
He's transformed you.
Maybe I've transformed myself.
Yeah (!)
You like him, though?
Yeah, I do. I think he's great!
Oh, apart from his weird taste
in music.
Oh, I'm proper happy for you, Joan.
Come on. Let's go.
Got 'em?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Ta-da!
Right, Val. Don't let me down.
No, I couldn't, Joan.
You could, couldn't you?
Well, if you made it, course I can.
What is it about London
that makes you so hungry?
Well, I have been working
pretty hard these last few days.
Oh, you're working here?
What you doing?
This and that. Er
Me and Boise,
been working on a scheme
with an American couple.
Americans?
Don't ask, Joan.
This
This dessert is gorgeous.
Oh, you know what Jerry Hall says.
Cook in the kitchen
Whore in the bedroom.
Albie!
Sorry, Joan.
Mm. She doesn't mind.
Come on, Joan. Top me up.
Oh Oh
Come on.
Nice.
Toast to Joan.
Look at her.
She's perfect, isn't she?
Oh, God! What are you on about?
I fell for her the moment I met her,
scrabbling for coins in a pub.
We got as drunk as lords.
Nothing's changed
..except I love you even more.
I love you.
Marry me, Joanie.
What?
Are you sure?
Course.
I adore you.
Let's get married.
Marry me.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Congratulations!
Yes, grab the champers!
It was a one-off.
I'll take that, sorry.
Once Kelly's here,
there'll be nothing like this,
I promise.
Do you want a coffee?
Oh, no, thanks.
We've got freshly ground.
Honestly, I'm fine.
If I'd known you were coming
I mean, I've been keeping the place
spick and span.
I've been obsessed.
Hoovering night and day.
We're not too bothered about mess.
As long as you're making progress
towards building a stable home.
Oh, yeah, I am, definitely.
Because Kelly's doing well
where she is now.
Yeah, course she is.
She's a good girl.
It-It's not about compliance, Joan.
Mrs Ashbury tells us
she's really thriving.
Kelly's flourishing at school.
Yeah, well, she would say that,
wouldn't she?
Do you want to sit down, Joan?
I've got something
I need to tell you.
What?
Sit down.
Spit it out.
The Ashburys have asked us
if they can adopt Kelly.
It's just a request at the moment.
You're her mother,
and no-one's doing anything
without due process.
We do always try to keep children
with their mothers.
'It's really important
that Kelly moves back
'into a settled, stable environment.
'Right now, we're not convinced
you can provide that.'
Good night, sweetheart.
# Darling, don't you cry
# It's just for a while
# Cos you'll never be the girl
If you let them rule
# Oh, no, you'll never be the girl
# Till you kick those blues
# Glitter girl, get your glamour on
# Don't let them in your soul
# Don't let them in your soul #
Gary, what the hell did you do?!
So, you've just been made homeless,
and you want to place your daughter
in emergency care?
Come here.
Don't go, Mummy, please don't go.
'I love my daughter so much.
'I fully intend on getting a job
and a place of my own to support us.
'I just need a chance.'
- If I did have something to sell?
- What?
Some stones, loose.
How'd you get them out?
'Grabbed them from the safe.
Necked 'em, walked.
'So, can you sell them for me?'
'Might take a few weeks.'
Right, I need cash now.
Would you do a bit more work, then?
'So, what am I nicking?'
'Clothes, designer gear, luggage.'
'But I wanna nick jewels, not
shoplift with a dodgy chequebook.'
'All in good time.'
'I'm only doing this one job.'
Once you nick the gear,
we're going to Spain tomorrow.
Spain?
'We need to courier some jewellery.
'My mate Albie sells it out in Spain
'where the pigs
aren't looking for it.
'We take it over,
he pays us on delivery.'
'So you want me to take it
on the plane,
'bear all the risk?'
So, we'll swing by his club.
'You need to act dumb
around his missus.'
Business and pleasure
all in one cute, little package.
Yeah, no,
I reckon we'll make a good team.
I found out your ex did a job for me
back in the day.
You've spoken to Gary?
Says you was a right nightmare.
Ran off with his kid.
Gary's a bloody liar.
When am I coming home?
It won't be long now, I promise.
Our only concern
is for Kelly's welfare.
I'm afraid we think
that she's better off where she is.
I need money. I mean "money" money.
Know what I mean?
Yeah, I reckon I do.
# 'The Lovecats'
by The Cure
- Today's special.
- Thank you.
So, what's the set-up?
It's perfect.
The house is miles from anywhere.
Crap security, no window locks.
We'll wait till it gets dark
and break in.
Oil's halfway up the stairs.
- It's definitely a real Stubbs?
- Classic. Worth thousands.
Enough to buy me and Kelly
a new home with a garden?
Oh, a mansion,
with a butler thrown in.
- So, what about the owner?
- Woman. Lives on her own.
Drinks a lot, according to Hugo.
- Your man at the auction house?
- Yeah.
- When did he value it?
- This morning.
She was already half-cut.
Why?
Hard life when you're filthy rich.
No, no, I mean why get it valued?
I dunno, probably insurance.
Or she's planning to sell it.
Your point?
Well, I mean,
if she's already got a legit buyer,
they'll come looking for it
when it goes.
It's much harder for us to sell on.
No, we'd have to hold on to it
for a while anyway.
Well, I don't want to hold on
to it for a while.
I need cash now.
To set myself up for Kelly.
Right, we'll go back to London now,
get Jim Cho to knock up a sham.
Come back.
I'll find a way in by day,
let you in at night.
Swap the pictures.
No-one will know it's gone.
We can sell it on straight away.
I was out walking. I was
I was out I was out walking.
I was out walking.
Get down! Who is it?
Sorry to disturb. Er, I need help.
I don't open the door to strangers.
Well, I've twisted my ankle.
I was out walking.
If If I could just use
your telephone and call a friend?
It's getting dark.
I don't know what I was thinking,
setting off alone.
And then I turned my ankle
on a stile and
Get back!
Oh, you're obviously
a long way from home.
I just I need a pick-me-up.
Well, I could open some brandy.
Of course, if I could afford
to heat this bastard place,
I wouldn't need it.
It's a beautiful house.
It was, before my husband walked
out, left me with all the bills.
Fuck-face.
Sounds familiar.
Can't believe that anyone would
abandon a little poppet like you.
You'd be surprised.
Another woman?
He packed a bag
and said he was "going on the run."
Classic.
I know. Fuck-face!
Shush!
Shush! You'll get your sausage.
He'll be back soon enough.
Tail between his legs
with a peace offering.
Bottle of gin or something.
But don't let him back in!
I won't, I won't.
That's always been my problem.
Oh. Well, you've got a kind heart.
You'll stay the night.
Oh, thank you. That's very kind.
Mm.
Aw Your daughter?
Married a Kiwi last year.
Buggered off
to the other side of the world.
I'll see you for breakfast.
My friend needs to come early,
so I'll just slip out.
Everyone leaves me in the end.
Well, thank you for having me.
Good night.
Night.
Shh! Good boy.
Boo.
Shh!
Here, give him a sausage.
Why me?
You're the stranger.
We're fine for now.
I put that Valium in her nightcap.
OK.
Where's the sham?
It's in the van.
Let's get the real deal out first.
Oh, what a beauty.
1760, 1765
Come on, then.
Look at the detail.
Stop, stop, stop.
It's fine, it's fine.
Careful. Don't touch the oil.
- Shit.
- Henrietta?
Hen?
Forgive me. Hen?
Scream.
Out my way!
Put it down. Now!
Who are you? A friend of Hen's?
Go in the kitchen, call the police.
Out my fucking way.
Move.
Move, or I'll blow
your brains out!
Oh!
Don't fuck with me.
Fuck's sake! Get in!
You brought a gun?!
It's all right,
I wasn't gonna use it.
D'you think he'll call the police?
Yeah, course.
Just drive.
You're over-thinking it.
He was drunk.
He saw you for a second.
But I spent all evening with her.
You were in disguise,
and she doesn't know your name.
She's got no means of tracing you.
Well, she'd get me in a line-up.
A line-up?!
Well, it's all right for you.
You had a balaclava on.
Yeah, to make you the victim,
protect you.
Protect me? You pulled out a gun!
You turned it
into an aggravated assault.
I wasn't gonna use it.
I don't care.
What was I supposed to do, Joanie?
Follow me upstairs.
Run out the back, like I did.
Without this?
Yeah, without the painting.
It's not like we can sell it now.
I'm taking it to the warehouse.
Order a Chinese.
Be back in an hour.
But I wanna come with you.
Let me come with you.
Sorry, Joanie.
So, I graft for you all day,
put my neck on the line,
and you don't fucking care?
You can't just shut me out!
Fuck you.
What can I do you for?
Selling stones.
Loose?
Mm-hm.
Who sent you?
No-one.
Well, who are you?
Joan.
Joan who?
You interested or not?
Where'd you get them from, Joan?
Does it matter?
Well, it should to you, darling.
You've been royally done. Cut glass.
I can see it from here.
Serious?
Mm-hm.
What you doing?
Might as well chuck them, then.
No, no, no. Look.
Let me take another look.
I might be able
to give you a few quid.
It's all right. I think
they're worth more than that.
You never told me
where you got them from.
I'm not going to.
Mm.
Then I'd better keep hold of them.
Call my mate down the cop shop.
They're only worth something
if you know how to sell them!
Stupid cow.
Enjoy.
# 'Nocturnes Op.9, No.2'
by Chopin
Same again, without the veg.
Would you let me buy this?
No, I wouldn't.
She never accepts drinks
off strange men.
Of all the gin joints
How did you find me?
I never buy what I can steal.
This came. From social services.
They want to visit.
Check out the suitability
of my new living arrangements.
So come back.
You've gotta let me in, Boisie.
I mean, men have been
pushing me around my whole life,
keeping things from me.
I won't have it any more.
I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.
I'm not a grass.
Never have been.
Key's in the glove box.
George IV. It's mahogany.
Here you are.
Look at the craftsmanship here.
How beautiful.
Mm.
Wow.
Never seen you so happy.
I had nothing as a kid.
Me neither.
Not a bean.
Yeah, not just
..stuff. I mean
no family.
My mum
I get it.
My dad beat me.
A lot.
What did she do?
Erm
She chose her fella over me,
gave me away when I was a kid.
Then one day,
she said I could come back.
That's good.
Yeah.
So they could claim
family allowance.
Five shillings a week.
25 pence?
Least I knew what I was worth.
They'll be safe here.
Choose something.
'Southernwell Social Services.
Good morning.'
Hello, it's Joan O'Connell again.
I-I'm still waiting for a visit
from the social worker.
Any idea when they're coming?
'I'll have to check
where you are on the list
'and get someone to call you back.'
But I've got my flat all ready.
'Yes, I appreciate that.'
I'm just I'm desperate
to get my little girl back.
'I'm sorry, but we are really busy
at the moment.'
OK.
Thank you.
'To get your motor
running smoothly,
'choose Becker type O grade,
'the finest engine oil
in the world.'
'When words are not enough.
'Fall in love with diamonds.'
'Sapphire Goldsmith's, London.'
Thanks.
- Can I help you, madam?
- Er, yeah. Coffee?
- Certainly, madam.
- Thank you.
- Show me the emperor again.
- Of course, madam.
Ah, we can always adjust it.
I'm in London again next week.
I can try it on then.
Absolutely.
If you send the car?
- To the Dorsington?
- Yes.
And I need the spec.
The carats, the cut, the mount.
My husband likes to know
what he's spending his money on.
Of course. I'll write it all down.
I've been thinking, Boisie.
Uh-oh.
If we can't sell the painting now
..I still need some money.
Oh, thanks.
Well, I'll sell something
from the warehouse
to get you some cash.
Mm-mm. No.
I wanna earn my own money.
So you can buy Kelly a horse?
Sorry, two horses.
I don't want her to ever wish
she was back at the Ashburys.
She won't.
I've seen a ring I wanna nick.
Worth 250 grand.
They won't even get the ring out of
the cabinet if they don't know you.
Unless I convince them
I'm a somebody.
An American. Loaded.
Dress up proper fancy,
drop in that I'm staying
at a posh hotel.
You know, string them along.
Tell them I need a spec made up
for my lover.
OK.
Take the spec up to Hatton Garden.
Get a sham made up.
So then when I return
to actually buy the ring
Swap it, walk out, sell it on.
Well, you don't need me at all.
I do. I need a sugar daddy
to come with me,
help me sell my character.
Come with you?
What, like your assistant?
I can't leave the shop.
No, sorry, Joan.
You'll forego 80 grand because
you won't close up for half a day?
Do you even want me to succeed?
As a thief or as a mother?
Boisie? Can you get it?
Might be the social.
Oh.
Hello, Joan.
It's you.
Nice to see you, too.
What are you doing here?
Val was getting sunspots.
And the rest.
So, back for good?
Joan.
No, that's fair. Let her quiz me
..if we're about to work together.
What do you mean? What's he said?
Can you act?
With you on my arm,
anything's possible.
Great (!)
Look, I'm happy to get involved.
But why don't you just do it
on your own?
I need help selling on.
The fence won't work
with someone new.
It's all planned out.
I've got the spec.
I know what I'm doing, Albie.
Hm. Well, I don't doubt that
for a minute.
Need a word with King, darling.
- King.
- What?
There's a bloke here to see you.
Once you've made the introduction,
I'll do the talking.
Er, no. King's the kind of geezer
who'd rather talk with a man.
Hello, mate.
Hello.
Didn't know
you was knocking round again.
Only so long you can lie on a beach,
know what I mean?
You should've told me
you was working for Albie.
I'm not. He's working for me.
Uh-huh (!) Working together, mate.
Er, we need a piece made up.
Not selling stones any more, then?
Sold them. You missed out.
What kind of piece?
It's my job. I've got the spec.
You need to get your trousers back,
mate.
Where did you get this from?
From the jeweller's.
I want an 18-carat four-claw mount
with the fake set in.
Made of?
Cubic zirconia.
It's got to match this exactly.
That's a lot of work.
It'll cost you.
You're gonna do it for free.
You mad cow. Hey, Joan, no
In return, you'll get the real deal
when I bring it back
the next day, OK?
Retail's 250 grand.
I want 80 in cash, unmarked notes.
80. And I want the sham ready
for Thursday.
Ooh!
Forget it.
Not the only bent jeweller
in Hatton Garden.
All right, all right. You're on.
You're on.
I'll do it.
How'd it go?
All right. Is he shaping up
as a good sugar daddy?
Well, he's not exactly
Sidney Poitier.
Oh, thanks (!)
Well, maybe Eddie Murphy
on a good day.
So, what's the set-up?
Er pick up the sham from King
on Thursday, go home, get changed.
Take the Tube to Heathrow,
pick up a black cab,
check in at the St James's Park
Hotel as Mrs Stephanie Sutherland.
- I have cases.
- No problem, madam. Thank you.
'Stay the night,
get prepared for the big day,
'get into character.'
Just wanted to say good luck.
- Go.
- Why?
Because I'm jet lagged.
Having a quiet night in
before I meet up
with my sugar daddy in the morning.
You love all this, don't you?
Dressing up.
Pretending.
Job satisfaction
isn't a crime.
But the rest of it is.
Just go.
So Albie's not staying?
Don't be ridiculous.
You know the story.
I'm meeting him in the shop.
All right.
Bye. Bye.
Hello.
Yes, I'll be straight down.
Yeah, checking out this afternoon.
Thank you. Bye.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Where the fuck did that go?
Morning.
- Mrs Sutherland.
- Thank you.
Hello, Mrs Sutherland.
Mrs Sutherland,
how lovely to see you again.
I trust the car arrived OK?
Thank you.
And how was your flight?
I think I picked up a cold.
You know, I can't get that
cute little ring out of my mind.
It's an exceptional piece.
I-I told my, er
my friend all about it.
Are we to expect him?
Well, I thought
that he'd be here already.
Maybe I could try it on again?
Of course.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It goes beautifully with your eyes.
Hello, sweetie.
Ah, I've been thinking
about you all night. Hm.
What do you think?
Oh.
It is stunning.
Isn't it?
And you really, really want it?
More than anything. Please?
Hm.
It's a very special piece, sir.
Totally unique, in fact.
Of course. I saw the spec.
And the price is very
Da-da-da-da.
Not in front of her, huh?
Let's talk.
It's not too much, is it?
Oh, for you, my love
it's a bargain.
Stephanie?
Oh, honey. We said we'd meet
at the restaurant.
You didn't need to come here.
Er Er Huh.
Steph and I just bumped into
each other.
We were friends in college.
Hi. Sorry.
James Sutherland.
He's always been the jealous type.
Uh-huh. Good to meet you, James.
Well
Let's go and get some lunch, hm?
Next time.
Thank you.
You could surprise her with it.
No. I don't think so.
My apologies.
Good work.
Thought you really were
a green-eyed monster for a minute.
Right, some of us
have still got work to do.
I'm off to King's.
Er, you want me to come with?
In case he's funny
about giving money to a lady.
Well, then he needs to learn.
I'll get you your 20% later.
Gonna need to keep her
on a tight rein.
# 'Sweet Dreams
(Are Made Of This)' By Eurythmics
I wouldn't have any work
if I ripped people off.
I always count the money.
Huh!
# Hold your head up
# Keep your head up
Movin' on
# Hold your head up
Movin' on
# Keep your head up
Movin' on
# Hold your head up
Movin' on
# Keep your head up
# Sweet dreams are made of this
# Who am I to disagree?
# I travelled the world
And the seven seas
# Everybody's looking for something
# Sweet dreams are made of this
# Who am I #
Albie barely sets foot
in the kitchen.
That's not true.
I know you can cook.
She is so bloody lucky.
Look What is this, Boise?
I bought a load of antiques
off this Russian geezer.
He threw in his record collection.
Did you make them from scratch?
Course I did, you stupid cow.
He's transformed you.
Maybe I've transformed myself.
Yeah (!)
You like him, though?
Yeah, I do. I think he's great!
Oh, apart from his weird taste
in music.
Oh, I'm proper happy for you, Joan.
Come on. Let's go.
Got 'em?
Yeah.
Let's go.
Ta-da!
Right, Val. Don't let me down.
No, I couldn't, Joan.
You could, couldn't you?
Well, if you made it, course I can.
What is it about London
that makes you so hungry?
Well, I have been working
pretty hard these last few days.
Oh, you're working here?
What you doing?
This and that. Er
Me and Boise,
been working on a scheme
with an American couple.
Americans?
Don't ask, Joan.
This
This dessert is gorgeous.
Oh, you know what Jerry Hall says.
Cook in the kitchen
Whore in the bedroom.
Albie!
Sorry, Joan.
Mm. She doesn't mind.
Come on, Joan. Top me up.
Oh Oh
Come on.
Nice.
Toast to Joan.
Look at her.
She's perfect, isn't she?
Oh, God! What are you on about?
I fell for her the moment I met her,
scrabbling for coins in a pub.
We got as drunk as lords.
Nothing's changed
..except I love you even more.
I love you.
Marry me, Joanie.
What?
Are you sure?
Course.
I adore you.
Let's get married.
Marry me.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
Congratulations!
Yes, grab the champers!
It was a one-off.
I'll take that, sorry.
Once Kelly's here,
there'll be nothing like this,
I promise.
Do you want a coffee?
Oh, no, thanks.
We've got freshly ground.
Honestly, I'm fine.
If I'd known you were coming
I mean, I've been keeping the place
spick and span.
I've been obsessed.
Hoovering night and day.
We're not too bothered about mess.
As long as you're making progress
towards building a stable home.
Oh, yeah, I am, definitely.
Because Kelly's doing well
where she is now.
Yeah, course she is.
She's a good girl.
It-It's not about compliance, Joan.
Mrs Ashbury tells us
she's really thriving.
Kelly's flourishing at school.
Yeah, well, she would say that,
wouldn't she?
Do you want to sit down, Joan?
I've got something
I need to tell you.
What?
Sit down.
Spit it out.
The Ashburys have asked us
if they can adopt Kelly.
It's just a request at the moment.
You're her mother,
and no-one's doing anything
without due process.
We do always try to keep children
with their mothers.
'It's really important
that Kelly moves back
'into a settled, stable environment.
'Right now, we're not convinced
you can provide that.'
Good night, sweetheart.
# Darling, don't you cry
# It's just for a while
# Cos you'll never be the girl
If you let them rule
# Oh, no, you'll never be the girl
# Till you kick those blues
# Glitter girl, get your glamour on
# Don't let them in your soul
# Don't let them in your soul #